Something a friend told me that completely revolutionized how I feel when I have a mental “setback” is that our mental health journey is not like climbing a mountain, it’s like climbing a mountain range which has multiple peaks and valleys in between; so even if you “fall down” and feel like you’re back at square one, you aren’t, you are just in a new valley, but not back at the beginning of the journey. ❤ None of your progress has been erased and the victories of previous “peaks” still stands, all the skills you used to reach your last peak, you still know and can use as you tackle the next mountain in the range! Also, as far as knitting goes, as a fellow knitter, love the content and would love more! I have knitted for years and never attempted a garment 😮 so kudos to you! Loved the blog & can’t wait for more.
It's so lovely that delilah gets to see you and Doug being affectionate to each other. I think lots of parents feel awkward about it but I think it teaches them positive perceptions of good relationships ❤
when you said "i dont like myself when I'm like this" i felt that so hard! thank you for being so open and sharing your experience, i know a lot of people will resonate with it (myself included) & feel they are not alone in their struggles, especially when you manage to put things into words that a lot of us have floating around in our heads and can't make sense of. thank you for taking the time to share your week with us despite your struggles
I have recently learnt to ask, "did you want me to listen and hold space, or did you want my opinion". It is such a game changer in communication, that I wish I had learnt earlier. I appreciate your honesty and openness. You will be helping many feel less alone. Thank you for sharing the bits of your life you feel comfortable sharing, whilst also respecting your own boundaries. We will always be here to support you, in all seasons of life ❤
As someone who also struggles mental health wise I find your openness and honesty so abundantly heartwarming, refreshing and wonderful. I really hope things get better your end, love your vlogs Rhiannon xx
Depressive episodes are your body (nervous system) being stuck in the ‘dorsal vagal’ response (freeze) for a long time. Our brain struggles to produce the dopamine as a reward for when we do tasks, making doing anything feel impossible. Learning all of this helped me be 1) less scared of when it happened and 2) SO much more kind to myself because I understood my body was trying to protect me. Even if it feels so frustrating. I so get what you are feeling. It’s so great you can pinpoint the decline of your mental health when you were a child. It gives you a blue print and an idea of maybe where to start healing some trauma so your nervous system won’t react like this forever. It’s fixable ❤️ a long journey to rewire our brains! Be gentle with yourself. And if you can’t, pretend you’re speaking to one of us. I know it would be all kindness and understanding. I’m sending little Rhiannon that still lives within you a huge hug.
I suffered from depression for years and I am so thankful to you for talking so about it. I also love to see you working around the kitchen and just your everyday life. You ae amazing and beautiful and I am so very glad to see you back.
Currently going through a depressive episode after a huge panic attack, and feeling upset with myself for letting it get that back, hearing you talk about it reminds me mental health recovery isn’t linear 💕💕💕
Long term viewer here 😊, I’ve never heard anyone explain mental health struggles in such a way, this mirrors how I have felt for many years. Thank you for sharing, you’ve been so missed & wishing I could give you a big hug 🤍
I love the idea of it being described as stuck in the mud. That’s exactly how it feels. You want to do so much but you’re stuck in the mud (under the duvet, on the sofa for me) and can’t do anything on your todo list. It is definitely hard to describe it those around. I love listening to you talk about it, really liked how you described the experience you go through during your down days x
Genuinely you have no idea how much conversations like this helps me. I have several mental health conditions and your openness helps me feel less alone xxx
I’m so deeply sorry you’ve been struggling; as someone who has dealt / is dealing with years of chronic anorexia and all the anxiety that comes with it, my heart breaks for you - I empathise, especially the “secondary effects” of mental illness, and just want to reach through the screen and give you a hug. Thank you for talking about it, vulnerable as it makes you feel. It’s so easy to assume others - particularly in the online space - have it all. How are you doing now, if you don’t mind me asking? I so hope things feel a little lighter. You’ve heard this before, I’m sure, but remember dark times DO pass, and you have a whole online community (myself included!) sending you so much love 💕 Slightly unrelated, but I think I saw you around a month or so ago - I almost said hi, but didn’t want to impose! Do you prefer people respecting your privacy off camera, or is it okay to say hello? Just thought I’d check, as I can imagine it’s pretty anxiety-provoking having strangers approach you randomly on the street haha xx
i have been watching your videos for nearly (or at least) a decade now and despite our lives looking so different (i’m single in the US living alone) i’ve always found and felt such a connection to you rhiannon! and when you speak about your mental health my heart just pours out to you. nothing more relatable than really just needing to not cry in the parking lot 💛 thank you always for sharing even when it’s hard, i hope you know how much we adore you and are grateful for these peeks into you and your beautiful family’s life, and i hope so much goodness and light rushes in for you so soon!
I love how openly you talk about the depression you go through. I’ve never thought about motivation like that but it really does explain a lot. I really admire you a lot and learn a lot from you and through watching your videos! 😊
Rhiiiiii this is exaaaaactlyyyy the kind of vlog we want!! You are so honest and kind, even if you sat in the car for 30 minutes crying and talking about your life I would watch!:D cause our suffering is what unites us as humans. You are awesome the way you are, sorry that you’re struggling but you can always share with us!!:) xxx
I know you mention how a lot of your vlogs feature you making lunch but I just want to thank you for it. As someone who sometimes struggles with food, I always find it comforting seeing you be completely neutral about it and making things you enjoy x ❤
I can honestly say. This conversation in your room about mental health WAS very comforting. You’ve put into words, a lot of what I was unable to explain. Never considered the secondary emotions and how it’s not just sadness for depression. Thanks hun. I am really fond of you and I hope you know you are enough always, take it a day at a time x
As much as it must be hard for you to film when you’re feeling like this… I never ever find it boring watching your day to day life. It makes me realise I don’t have to go out here and there every day. I really enjoy just listening to you talk about your day, your thoughts and just watching you around the house.
Hi Rhiannon I’m going to a depressive episode myself at the moment. Listening to you talking about this so openly makes me feel like I am not alone, it sounds cliché but just so true. Talking about it so openly already helps so so much. We all love you, all the best from Belgium ❤️
SO proud of you for talking about this. I'm having a huge relapse back into horrible mental health after being well for so long, just like you're describing and I feel so reassured hearing you saying basically the exact feelings I'm having. You're somehow the most relaxing yet creative, and interesting person I watch on here. So just want to say that you being exactly you, and how you're feeling at the moment is just what I like! (and apparently need atm)
Your explanation of the after effects of a depressive episode (playing catch up and feeling disappointed etc) was so well articulated. Thank you for sharing that. I’m glad you’re feeling better now and sending you lots of love xxxx
Honestly I love when you’re honest with how you are doing mental health wise. Hearing you describe how you struggle I realize that I feel the exact same way. I’ve also been feeling off this year as well and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in that struggle. Thank you for being open with us because I know that you deal with some backlash for it sometimes but I find it oddly comforting. I’ve been missing you so I’m glad you’ve uploaded :)
My mental health has taken a dive since becoming a mom. I’ve had panic attacks that had caused my husband to stay home from work cause he didn’t want to leave me alone with our son and it’s so saddening. This made me feel less alone. thank you for sharing and being so open ❤️
I also had panic attacks after having my daughter. I think it was to do with my hormones being all over the place as now I’m on the contraceptive pill the panic attacks have (mostly) stopped. Something to think about. Having a baby really can put your body out of wack x
So happy you’ve uploaded! You were the first TH-camr I saw ever talk openly about their mental health and having you continue to talk about it and have that level of honesty is so appreciated. I’m a mum and suffer with depression too, it can feel so lonely but when you talk about it it reassures me that I’m not alone and that you want to help people and bring that kindness and understanding in your videos, I really hope with time you find more joy in your everyday, thank you Rhiannon 💕
You’re not going off on a tangent in a bad way at all :) it’s so lovely to hear you talking about this as it makes us all feel normal too - a lot of us have the exact same thoughts you do and relate to what you’re saying - you’re right it’s extremely refreshing and thank you so much for deciding to talk about this. It truly helps - I feel so less alone ! ❤
Aw Rhiannon I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling recently. I rarely comment but I always watch your videos and I really needed this one tonight. Giving a voice to emotions and things happening in your head gives them a lot less power and that’s how this video has made me feel. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. I really hope things feel lighter soon 💕💕
I totally relate to alot of this, when we are so depressed we just zone out on everything but will get something done if it is a big must then fade back out again. Sending you a lot of love, be kind to yourself always no matter what you're going through🫂❤
Stopping at like 6min in to tell you the transitions while you were pottering with the washing and on the computer are just 👌🏼👌🏼 i have missed you! Welcome back ❤
When you had tears in the car I felt that I don’t know what it is but since the start of this year I feel so lost and sad. Sometimes I’m in the car driving or making dinner and just tear up. I find everything in a weird place right now in the world. I try to appreciate the mundane things in life more and be thankful for what I have and how far I’ve come. I hope you continue vlogging because your vlogs provide me with so much joy, it’s like catching up with a old friend from a long time ago. Sending positivity and sunshine your way!
I'm so sorry that you feel this way, I unfortunately completely understand the feeling. You really eloquently describe exactly how it feels and knowing that others also feel the same, comforts me in a way that I am not alone. I understand that making videos must be hard, but know that they help so many people. Sending all my love, take it easy and take good care of yourself
It was such a lovely surprise to see that you’ve uploaded this Sunday morning 🥹 PLEASE continue talking about your mental health I can relate so much to you in so many points (Same goes for knitting, literally knitting while watching the vlog haha)
Oh Rhiannon my heart goes out to you. As someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety for a lot of my life, and chronic illness as well I definitely can relate to everything that you said. I really wish I could say something that could offer some sort of comfort or relief, and I wish no one would have to go through this. I wish I could just give you a hug. I know how depression can make everything look pointless (and I've been feeling that a lot lately too), and I don't know if this helps at all but I wanted to just say that your vlogs have inspired me when I've felt low, have made me smile on an otherwise very rough day, have made me feel less alone...and I know how very real that pointless feeling is (and I would never want to dismiss that), but I just want to say that what you do isn't pointless, it's making others feel seen, it's creating a safe space for others to be inspired or find joy or comfort or understanding-- and that's what you've created over all these years, and that is so incredibly valuable and important. You are incredibly valuable and important. I know that depression usually makes that so impossible to feel about ourselves, but it's true. Wishing and hoping all the best for you 🤍🤍🤍 And if anyone else reads this comment, I hope it reminds you that you are worthy, incredibly valuable and you matter so so much.
we don't expect you to be perfect, you're amazing. thank you for opening up. one thing that helps me is remembering that nothing is forever, these moments and periods of times that are hard won't last forever and the better times will come back around. hang in there, love you!
Thank you for sharing how you feel, I suffer with depression and anxiety. I struggle quite a lot with keeping myself going sometimes at work I have to nip to the loo for privacy to get myself together as I can't break down in front of customers. Please never apologise for the way you feel it must be so difficult to be in front of a camera and put yourself out there when your struggling. It is lovely to have you back. Your a breath of fresh air ❤️❤️ xx
All day I've been looking forward to snuggling in front of the telly with you tonight. So lovely to see you back Rhiannon, but so sorry you have been struggling. My heart goes out to you. Love the knits, well done. Take care ❤
It is refreshing to see you be honest with why you’ve been gone. I got the impression from most of your content that you wanted to portray a perfect life. I was convinced your life was ideal.
Rhiannon, you’re so beautiful inside and out! Thank you for sharing and normalizing and putting this “stuck in the mud” feeling into words. Helps to not feel so alone in a feeling that is so lonely. Sending lots of love and hugs 💕
Hey Rhiannon, thank you for being so openly honest and vulnerable in this vlog. It shows how strong you are. Thank you for sharing and making so many people feel seen in their own pain. Thank you thank you. I hope you’re offering yourself lots of love and warmth these days. My heart is with you ❤. You are wonderful.
Thank you for posting about your depression. I really needed to hear it from someone else as I feel quite alone when I'm feeling depressed and like no one else feels this way. I've had a bad day today and this has just made me realise that I'm not alone and it's normal to feel this way. So thank you and please speak more about it as you really helped me today ❤
Made my morning to see you back vlogging! Sorry you've been struggling, from the comments here you know you're not alone. No advice here, I just relate so much. I've struggled since childhood too and I think at 32 I've only just accepted that I need to look after myself constantly, even when I'm feeling good and think I'm managing, if I push myself too much because I'm currently coping, that'll soon turn to me not coping and I'll spiral.
I think we always have to remember that mental illness is an ILLNESS. It's not your fault to feel that way. I've been depressed too and I can relate so much, so many people can, I think. You're not strange or wrong, you are ill! But we can heal and get better, even though it's a constant struggle. I don't know if it makes sense, my english isn't very good. I just want to say that Nobody has to bei ashamed because of an illness! Thanks for being so open, it was nice to see you again 😊
Hi Rhiannon, I just want to say that it is not boring or bad that you are speaking about the times when you’re feeling low. On the contrary, i think it’s so good and it makes your life/vlogs much more realistic to me as a long time viewer since like 2010-2011. I also struggle a lot with my mental health and it is so hard to explain and usually people who don’t suffer from it will not understand. I felt closer to you that you have shared this with us! :) Hope you start feeling much better soon!
As someone who also suffers from depression, I can completely relate to what you say. Thanks for talking openly about it. It makes us feel less alone but I do hope it helps you feel less alone too. Sending you lots of love, I hope you feel better soon and you can get back x100 all the comforting feelings you give us with your vlogs. ❤
Thank you for openly speaking about having depression, it really helps me as a fellow affected person. Depression is a life threatening disease even though people without the necessary knowledge still call it being lazy. I can relate to all the things you've mentioned. On some of my worst days, I couldn't even get up to prepare meals for myself, it was just too much. I really hope you will get better soon! Just know, even on your worst days, you're not alone ❤
Hey, I have had trouble with depression caused by chronic health issues, and thanks for talking about it. I relate so much to what you were saying about not having motivation and the secondary frustration with yourself, it feels so good to know I’m not the only one I see/watch videos from that struggles.
It’s really refreshing to hear someone talk to openly about their struggles with mental health. I struggle with depression and anxiety as well and have been told by doctors that they would never put me on antidepressant since I’m so young (19) and that go take a walk and you’ll be fine. I would love to hear some tips you’d have more anxiety, depression or overthinking that have helped you. I hope everything is starting to look up and your sun comes out💛
Wow, I'm so sorry you've had such dismissive doctors. I totally understand not instantly putting someone on meds, but there's a spectrum of treatment between medication and going for walk and they should really be offering you alternatives like talking therapy, CBT etc. Hopefully you'll find someone more helpful if you choose to ask for help again. Sending love (I know what it's like and I'm 10 years older)
Thank you Rhiannon for opening up and being vulnerable on camera that would have been a difficult decision to make, and we appreciate your vulnerability. As someone how has a long list of mental health struggles I see you and I feel your pain, just like you I have tried several medications and I tried different forms of therapy and depression comes and goes, leaving me mentally disabled to just function and get by. I often feel like I just ride the wave, I’ll come out to the other side eventually so I just try to be gentle and patient with myself. I send you a big hug and take your time coming back fully, in the same why you’ll take time off if your sick, mental illness it’s the same ❤
I'm not usually one to comment, however, firstly your vlogs for me have always been very calming and very nice to watch, no matter the content, just the way you present yourself is calming in nature. Secondly, the way you articulate your feelings around mental health is just very refreshing to hear. I have struggled with my mental health, like you, with it being very up and down, and the feelings of motivation and hopelessness are incredibly relatable. ❤
THIS is exactly how I have felt recently, and I haven’t wanted to speak about it. Thank you for being a voice that some people need. It’s hard to speak about it, and you have shared it publicly, which a lot of people are grateful for. Sending you love
Hearing you speak felt like I was listening to myself, thank you for sharing and being so open it makes me feel less alone, heard and feelings validated. THANK YOU !!!
Thank you for creating a space where people can feel comfortable talking openly about their mental health struggles. I can't tell you how many times i have tried to explain why i am depressed or anxious to my friends or family, and just end up giving up and smiling through it. It is not all cookie cutter symptoms and remedies. Thank you for making me feel "normal" and seen ❤❤
I really get you when you mentioned your self esteem and then the instant tears after you said it. It's such a struggle, it just feels like a mountain to try go over it. Sometimes I know it's because of my low self esteem I feel certain ways and feel guilt, but I don't know how to change it. Sending my love and wanted to say I love the vlog too xx
Rhiannon I can speak for the majority of people watching this (like me who have watched you for years. We are all thinking of you. You WILL get better and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Self care 24/7 for you 💗 you are amazing 🤍
Was lovely to see this post today! I suffer from OCD and depression and have done for as long as I can remember. I really can relate to how isolated and hopeless mental illness can make you feel. I find the ins and outs of what I deal with hard to discuss with a lot of people, because of judgement and ignorance most of the time, but you are not alone and nobody owes anyone anything! Take care of yourself, it’s a process! 💕 Sending love x
It's so refreshing seeing someone I can relate to so much. I've watched you for year's well before you had Delilah. I turn 28 in 3 weeks time and life isn't where I want it to be but after so many years of being diagnosed with anxiety at 19 then depression in my 20's. I am now on the road of being assessed for ADHD and ASD like you said it's never a step back no matter what you have your times where it's a rollercoaster but I guess that's what life is!! We can do it😊 sending my love 🥰
I really appreciate that you’re talking honestly about your mental health and really hope we’re going to talk about like talking about a broken leg in the future. I struggle with anxiety and I find it really hard to talk openly about it with people that aren’t my closest friends or family. So I think you’re doing a great job in talking about it and you will help a lot of people with it! I hope you’re feeling better soon! ❤
Oh Rhiannon, I can truly relate to how you feel. The lows can be so incredibly hard but it always 'helps' to hear that others are struggling too - although I wish no one had to go through this obviously! I hope this year, although the rough start, has a lot of great things for you in store. I am certain of it and wish you just all the best. Hearing/Seeing you again is such a relief, your channel really has become such a safe space over the past years and I've missed you and thought of how you're doing so often. Sending hugs and lots of love x
oh my gosh Rhiannon, I also have anxiety and depression and your words resonate so much with me. The hopelessness and sense of frustration with yourself are both something I really struggle with too. It's so hard when the dark clouds descend and everything seems pointless/bad, I almost never notice it happening until I feel the sun shining back through weeks later! Thank you for being so open - removing the stigma and making people feel less alone is so powerful! xx
Thank you so much for your candid chat about mental health. I think I'm similar to you - I was about 12 when it started. I nearly teared up a bit when you talked about feeling like your mental health had stolen things from you, because I've never heard anyone talk about this and it is exactly how I feel. Thank you for being so open!
I miss your vlogs when you are not uploading but it’s great that you are taking brakes and do what’s best for you. Sending lots of love! Thank you for being real :)
I have come to realise that i have struggles with my mental health and had no idea but it came really vivid when everything is okay in my life and sometimes I wake up with this feeling “ I’m sad and i don’t know why” so I stayed in my bed and out of a sudden I can’t find motivation to do the things I love the most doing
Your not alone Rhiannon. Myself along with I’m sure other followers with Mental Health struggles can relate entirely. I felt very seen watching someone share while feeling so wobbly and ungrounded. I wish you all the best on your journey and hope you have more relief and space between episodes soon x
I've been watching your videos since 2011 or 2012, and we're the same age, so in a way I feel like I've grown up alongside you. I've always appreciated how openly and honestly you speak about your mental health. Back in 2020, I learned I am autistic and adhd, and I also learned that I have Ehler's Danlos Syndrome. Learning all of that changed everything for me, and I had to learn to be way more patient with myself. Mental and physical tasks can be such a struggle, but I don't get upset with myself if things get done slowly or if I'm not able to do something on certain days.
So happy to see the notification that you’d uploaded!! I have been rewatching some of your older videos and was wondering if you were ok. Thank you so much for talking so openly about your mental health it really makes me feel less alone and more normal. Sending lots of love 🤍🤍🤍
So lovely to have you back, Rhiannon and thank you so much for being so open. This resonated with me so much, I’ve always struggled with depression and anxiety, and I’m currently going through a rough period. Trying to express how you feel to others can be so difficult and it can all feel quite lonely at points. Sending lots of love to you and anyone else feeling the same x
Always happy to see a vlog from you, no matter how much time has passed! As someone who has also had the worst depressive episode of their life this winter, sending you love!
Oh my Goodness. This resonates so much. I'm 53 and have suffered with depression and anxiety for many years also. Yep, being "inside" your head so much of the time is no fun. I think the weather this year, especially here in The South West has not helped me this year. The feelings of procrastination and helplessness can sometimes be overwhelming as you say. It's wonderful to see you back and has taken such courage and reserves of strength. Here's to feeling stronger and happier in our own skin as the summer hopefully comes in. X
Thank you so much for speaking so openly about it all. I suffer from mental health and panic attacks weekly - thank you for taking the time to vlog and share it. I hope you're having a relaxing Sunday :) sending love x
thank you for talking so openly about depression - I've been feeling exactly the same recently and I feel like people who haven't experienced it really just don't understand how horrible it is to feel trapped in your own brain. I know you're very very self critical of your content but there are so many of us that love videos like this and appreciate your honesty! Thank you for sharing when you feel so vulnerable, it's such a hard thing to overcome and you did it ❤
Missed you on here, glad to see you back. As someone who doesn't struggle with their mental health but is keen to understand more, I find it so interesting and thought provoking how you explain how you feel. Just wondering how Doug and Delilah cope with your depressive episodes xxx your amazing 👏 ❤️
Rhiannon, thank you! ❤ Thank you for your honesty and openness about your depression and you are so right. Depression is more than sadness and it helps when people are talking about it. But I know exactly what you are feeling and believe me: You are not alone! So many people struggling with this illness and I hope more people will realize that it is an illness. An illness people can't see, but it is important to be open, real and honest about it! That people who are suffer from it needs support and love. So much love from me to you.❤
Hey Rhiannon, thank you for talking about this. It made me feel somewhat less alone. Also don't worry about creating 'boring' content, I would happily watch you knit whilst I crochet and I'm sure lots of others would to!
You described what it’s like to have depression so so well, I’m exactly the same and have been since I was about 18 (I’m 27 now). Thankfully, I restarted medication recently which has helped a lot! Thank you for making me feel less alone xxx
this little edit with you putting your headphones on! this is why i love your vlogs - these are tiny details but they show how much effort you put in editing ❤ thank you as always!
You’ve explained it so well Rhiannon, it can feel so much like you’re stuck at times. Thank you for being so honest, and sending you lots of love! It’s so hard to describe this to someone who doesn’t understand, thank you for being a voice for so many others! Xxx
Rihannon, it's so nice to see you back. I recently lost my dad and I've been dealing with severe anxiety and depression (and insomnia lol), everyday is a struggle but keeping busy helps a little. Thank you for keeping on talking about it, sending you a big hug 💗.
Watching this I relate so much, I have chronic illnesses and anxiety/ depression, I often feel in pain and or ill due to the illnesses and sometimes I cope fine but others I just don’t, I start to question myself and everything I do, I can barely look at myself because I just feel so horrible in myself. It’s hard to explain those feelings to someone that’s never been through it. Just wanted to send love and hugs xx
Thank you for talking about mental health. You may think you're just rambling, but you have helped me so much over the years. It makes it all feel a little bit better to know I'm not alone. ❤
Welcome back Rhiannon. Nice to see your face. I know everyone will comment on the mental health talk, and I admire you for being open about it, but I really want to focus on happy sided too. So happy to hear all about you wedding preparations and that you have settled on most of them. I am pretty sure it will turn out great.
As someone who suffers with their mental health, thank you so much for speaking so openly about it all. Sending lots of love 💕
Something a friend told me that completely revolutionized how I feel when I have a mental “setback” is that our mental health journey is not like climbing a mountain, it’s like climbing a mountain range which has multiple peaks and valleys in between; so even if you “fall down” and feel like you’re back at square one, you aren’t, you are just in a new valley, but not back at the beginning of the journey. ❤ None of your progress has been erased and the victories of previous “peaks” still stands, all the skills you used to reach your last peak, you still know and can use as you tackle the next mountain in the range!
Also, as far as knitting goes, as a fellow knitter, love the content and would love more! I have knitted for years and never attempted a garment 😮 so kudos to you! Loved the blog & can’t wait for more.
I love this analogy, thank you for sharing 🙏
It's so lovely that delilah gets to see you and Doug being affectionate to each other. I think lots of parents feel awkward about it but I think it teaches them positive perceptions of good relationships ❤
yeah I never saw that growing up and it really hurt my perspective of relationships
when you said "i dont like myself when I'm like this" i felt that so hard! thank you for being so open and sharing your experience, i know a lot of people will resonate with it (myself included) & feel they are not alone in their struggles, especially when you manage to put things into words that a lot of us have floating around in our heads and can't make sense of. thank you for taking the time to share your week with us despite your struggles
I have recently learnt to ask, "did you want me to listen and hold space, or did you want my opinion". It is such a game changer in communication, that I wish I had learnt earlier.
I appreciate your honesty and openness. You will be helping many feel less alone. Thank you for sharing the bits of your life you feel comfortable sharing, whilst also respecting your own boundaries. We will always be here to support you, in all seasons of life ❤
As someone who also struggles mental health wise I find your openness and honesty so abundantly heartwarming, refreshing and wonderful. I really hope things get better your end, love your vlogs Rhiannon xx
Depressive episodes are your body (nervous system) being stuck in the ‘dorsal vagal’ response (freeze) for a long time. Our brain struggles to produce the dopamine as a reward for when we do tasks, making doing anything feel impossible. Learning all of this helped me be 1) less scared of when it happened and 2) SO much more kind to myself because I understood my body was trying to protect me. Even if it feels so frustrating. I so get what you are feeling. It’s so great you can pinpoint the decline of your mental health when you were a child. It gives you a blue print and an idea of maybe where to start healing some trauma so your nervous system won’t react like this forever. It’s fixable ❤️ a long journey to rewire our brains! Be gentle with yourself. And if you can’t, pretend you’re speaking to one of us. I know it would be all kindness and understanding. I’m sending little Rhiannon that still lives within you a huge hug.
I suffered from depression for years and I am so thankful to you for talking so about it. I also love to see you working around the kitchen and just your everyday life. You ae amazing and beautiful and I am so very glad to see you back.
Currently going through a depressive episode after a huge panic attack, and feeling upset with myself for letting it get that back, hearing you talk about it reminds me mental health recovery isn’t linear 💕💕💕
Long term viewer here 😊, I’ve never heard anyone explain mental health struggles in such a way, this mirrors how I have felt for many years. Thank you for sharing, you’ve been so missed & wishing I could give you a big hug 🤍
I love the idea of it being described as stuck in the mud. That’s exactly how it feels. You want to do so much but you’re stuck in the mud (under the duvet, on the sofa for me) and can’t do anything on your todo list. It is definitely hard to describe it those around. I love listening to you talk about it, really liked how you described the experience you go through during your down days x
Genuinely you have no idea how much conversations like this helps me. I have several mental health conditions and your openness helps me feel less alone xxx
I’m so deeply sorry you’ve been struggling; as someone who has dealt / is dealing with years of chronic anorexia and all the anxiety that comes with it, my heart breaks for you - I empathise, especially the “secondary effects” of mental illness, and just want to reach through the screen and give you a hug. Thank you for talking about it, vulnerable as it makes you feel. It’s so easy to assume others - particularly in the online space - have it all. How are you doing now, if you don’t mind me asking? I so hope things feel a little lighter. You’ve heard this before, I’m sure, but remember dark times DO pass, and you have a whole online community (myself included!) sending you so much love 💕
Slightly unrelated, but I think I saw you around a month or so ago - I almost said hi, but didn’t want to impose! Do you prefer people respecting your privacy off camera, or is it okay to say hello? Just thought I’d check, as I can imagine it’s pretty anxiety-provoking having strangers approach you randomly on the street haha xx
Really missed your vlogs glad your back your vlogs cheer me up I suffer from anxiety its something that should be talked about which really helps
i have been watching your videos for nearly (or at least) a decade now and despite our lives looking so different (i’m single in the US living alone) i’ve always found and felt such a connection to you rhiannon! and when you speak about your mental health my heart just pours out to you. nothing more relatable than really just needing to not cry in the parking lot 💛 thank you always for sharing even when it’s hard, i hope you know how much we adore you and are grateful for these peeks into you and your beautiful family’s life, and i hope so much goodness and light rushes in for you so soon!
I love how openly you talk about the depression you go through. I’ve never thought about motivation like that but it really does explain a lot. I really admire you a lot and learn a lot from you and through watching your videos! 😊
Rhiiiiii this is exaaaaactlyyyy the kind of vlog we want!! You are so honest and kind, even if you sat in the car for 30 minutes crying and talking about your life I would watch!:D cause our suffering is what unites us as humans. You are awesome the way you are, sorry that you’re struggling but you can always share with us!!:) xxx
Feeling so many emotions hearing someone else struggling with the same emotions I’m currently experiencing
I know you mention how a lot of your vlogs feature you making lunch but I just want to thank you for it. As someone who sometimes struggles with food, I always find it comforting seeing you be completely neutral about it and making things you enjoy x ❤
I can honestly say. This conversation in your room about mental health WAS very comforting. You’ve put into words, a lot of what I was unable to explain. Never considered the secondary emotions and how it’s not just sadness for depression. Thanks hun. I am really fond of you and I hope you know you are enough always, take it a day at a time x
It’s so comforting seeing people openly talk about the same things I’m going through, you’re so brave Rhiannon . Thank you
As much as it must be hard for you to film when you’re feeling like this… I never ever find it boring watching your day to day life. It makes me realise I don’t have to go out here and there every day. I really enjoy just listening to you talk about your day, your thoughts and just watching you around the house.
Hi Rhiannon I’m going to a depressive episode myself at the moment. Listening to you talking about this so openly makes me feel like I am not alone, it sounds cliché but just so true. Talking about it so openly already helps so so much. We all love you, all the best from Belgium ❤️
SO proud of you for talking about this. I'm having a huge relapse back into horrible mental health after being well for so long, just like you're describing and I feel so reassured hearing you saying basically the exact feelings I'm having. You're somehow the most relaxing yet creative, and interesting person I watch on here. So just want to say that you being exactly you, and how you're feeling at the moment is just what I like! (and apparently need atm)
Your explanation of the after effects of a depressive episode (playing catch up and feeling disappointed etc) was so well articulated. Thank you for sharing that. I’m glad you’re feeling better now and sending you lots of love xxxx
Thank you for not making depression look cute and trendy! xx
Honestly I love when you’re honest with how you are doing mental health wise. Hearing you describe how you struggle I realize that I feel the exact same way. I’ve also been feeling off this year as well and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in that struggle. Thank you for being open with us because I know that you deal with some backlash for it sometimes but I find it oddly comforting. I’ve been missing you so I’m glad you’ve uploaded :)
My mental health has taken a dive since becoming a mom. I’ve had panic attacks that had caused my husband to stay home from work cause he didn’t want to leave me alone with our son and it’s so saddening. This made me feel less alone. thank you for sharing and being so open ❤️
I also had panic attacks after having my daughter. I think it was to do with my hormones being all over the place as now I’m on the contraceptive pill the panic attacks have (mostly) stopped. Something to think about. Having a baby really can put your body out of wack x
So happy you’ve uploaded! You were the first TH-camr I saw ever talk openly about their mental health and having you continue to talk about it and have that level of honesty is so appreciated. I’m a mum and suffer with depression too, it can feel so lonely but when you talk about it it reassures me that I’m not alone and that you want to help people and bring that kindness and understanding in your videos, I really hope with time you find more joy in your everyday, thank you Rhiannon 💕
You’re not going off on a tangent in a bad way at all :) it’s so lovely to hear you talking about this as it makes us all feel normal too - a lot of us have the exact same thoughts you do and relate to what you’re saying - you’re right it’s extremely refreshing and thank you so much for deciding to talk about this. It truly helps - I feel so less alone ! ❤
Aw Rhiannon I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling recently. I rarely comment but I always watch your videos and I really needed this one tonight. Giving a voice to emotions and things happening in your head gives them a lot less power and that’s how this video has made me feel. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. I really hope things feel lighter soon 💕💕
I totally relate to alot of this, when we are so depressed we just zone out on everything but will get something done if it is a big must then fade back out again. Sending you a lot of love, be kind to yourself always no matter what you're going through🫂❤
Stopping at like 6min in to tell you the transitions while you were pottering with the washing and on the computer are just 👌🏼👌🏼 i have missed you! Welcome back ❤
When you had tears in the car I felt that I don’t know what it is but since the start of this year I feel so lost and sad. Sometimes I’m in the car driving or making dinner and just tear up. I find everything in a weird place right now in the world. I try to appreciate the mundane things in life more and be thankful for what I have and how far I’ve come. I hope you continue vlogging because your vlogs provide me with so much joy, it’s like catching up with a old friend from a long time ago. Sending positivity and sunshine your way!
I'm so sorry that you feel this way, I unfortunately completely understand the feeling. You really eloquently describe exactly how it feels and knowing that others also feel the same, comforts me in a way that I am not alone. I understand that making videos must be hard, but know that they help so many people. Sending all my love, take it easy and take good care of yourself
It was such a lovely surprise to see that you’ve uploaded this Sunday morning 🥹
PLEASE continue talking about your mental health
I can relate so much to you in so many points
(Same goes for knitting, literally knitting while watching the vlog haha)
Oh Rhiannon my heart goes out to you. As someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety for a lot of my life, and chronic illness as well I definitely can relate to everything that you said. I really wish I could say something that could offer some sort of comfort or relief, and I wish no one would have to go through this. I wish I could just give you a hug. I know how depression can make everything look pointless (and I've been feeling that a lot lately too), and I don't know if this helps at all but I wanted to just say that your vlogs have inspired me when I've felt low, have made me smile on an otherwise very rough day, have made me feel less alone...and I know how very real that pointless feeling is (and I would never want to dismiss that), but I just want to say that what you do isn't pointless, it's making others feel seen, it's creating a safe space for others to be inspired or find joy or comfort or understanding-- and that's what you've created over all these years, and that is so incredibly valuable and important. You are incredibly valuable and important. I know that depression usually makes that so impossible to feel about ourselves, but it's true.
Wishing and hoping all the best for you 🤍🤍🤍
And if anyone else reads this comment, I hope it reminds you that you are worthy, incredibly valuable and you matter so so much.
we don't expect you to be perfect, you're amazing. thank you for opening up. one thing that helps me is remembering that nothing is forever, these moments and periods of times that are hard won't last forever and the better times will come back around. hang in there, love you!
Thank you for sharing how you feel, I suffer with depression and anxiety. I struggle quite a lot with keeping myself going sometimes at work I have to nip to the loo for privacy to get myself together as I can't break down in front of customers. Please never apologise for the way you feel it must be so difficult to be in front of a camera and put yourself out there when your struggling. It is lovely to have you back. Your a breath of fresh air ❤️❤️ xx
All day I've been looking forward to snuggling in front of the telly with you tonight. So lovely to see you back Rhiannon, but so sorry you have been struggling. My heart goes out to you. Love the knits, well done. Take care ❤
It is refreshing to see you be honest with why you’ve been gone. I got the impression from most of your content that you wanted to portray a perfect life. I was convinced your life was ideal.
Rhiannon, you’re so beautiful inside and out! Thank you for sharing and normalizing and putting this “stuck in the mud” feeling into words. Helps to not feel so alone in a feeling that is so lonely. Sending lots of love and hugs 💕
Hey Rhiannon, thank you for being so openly honest and vulnerable in this vlog. It shows how strong you are. Thank you for sharing and making so many people feel seen in their own pain. Thank you thank you. I hope you’re offering yourself lots of love and warmth these days. My heart is with you ❤. You are wonderful.
I'm so glad you feel better, we missed you here ❤
Thank you for posting about your depression. I really needed to hear it from someone else as I feel quite alone when I'm feeling depressed and like no one else feels this way. I've had a bad day today and this has just made me realise that I'm not alone and it's normal to feel this way. So thank you and please speak more about it as you really helped me today ❤
I've been stuck in the mud for the most part the year - really lovely to hear from you. Hope you are feeling better xx
Lots of people will be able to relate to your mental health issues, including myself. Be kind to yourself, it’s great to see you back 😊
Glad you back. Missed the videos
Made my morning to see you back vlogging! Sorry you've been struggling, from the comments here you know you're not alone. No advice here, I just relate so much. I've struggled since childhood too and I think at 32 I've only just accepted that I need to look after myself constantly, even when I'm feeling good and think I'm managing, if I push myself too much because I'm currently coping, that'll soon turn to me not coping and I'll spiral.
I think we always have to remember that mental illness is an ILLNESS. It's not your fault to feel that way. I've been depressed too and I can relate so much, so many people can, I think. You're not strange or wrong, you are ill! But we can heal and get better, even though it's a constant struggle.
I don't know if it makes sense, my english isn't very good. I just want to say that Nobody has to bei ashamed because of an illness!
Thanks for being so open, it was nice to see you again 😊
Hi Rhiannon,
I just want to say that it is not boring or bad that you are speaking about the times when you’re feeling low. On the contrary, i think it’s so good and it makes your life/vlogs much more realistic to me as a long time viewer since like 2010-2011.
I also struggle a lot with my mental health and it is so hard to explain and usually people who don’t suffer from it will not understand.
I felt closer to you that you have shared this with us! :)
Hope you start feeling much better soon!
As someone who also suffers from depression, I can completely relate to what you say. Thanks for talking openly about it. It makes us feel less alone but I do hope it helps you feel less alone too. Sending you lots of love, I hope you feel better soon and you can get back x100 all the comforting feelings you give us with your vlogs. ❤
Always love your videos, no matter what they are ❤
Thank you for openly speaking about having depression, it really helps me as a fellow affected person. Depression is a life threatening disease even though people without the necessary knowledge still call it being lazy. I can relate to all the things you've mentioned. On some of my worst days, I couldn't even get up to prepare meals for myself, it was just too much. I really hope you will get better soon! Just know, even on your worst days, you're not alone ❤
Hey, I have had trouble with depression caused by chronic health issues, and thanks for talking about it. I relate so much to what you were saying about not having motivation and the secondary frustration with yourself, it feels so good to know I’m not the only one I see/watch videos from that struggles.
It’s really refreshing to hear someone talk to openly about their struggles with mental health. I struggle with depression and anxiety as well and have been told by doctors that they would never put me on antidepressant since I’m so young (19) and that go take a walk and you’ll be fine. I would love to hear some tips you’d have more anxiety, depression or overthinking that have helped you. I hope everything is starting to look up and your sun comes out💛
Wow, I'm so sorry you've had such dismissive doctors. I totally understand not instantly putting someone on meds, but there's a spectrum of treatment between medication and going for walk and they should really be offering you alternatives like talking therapy, CBT etc. Hopefully you'll find someone more helpful if you choose to ask for help again. Sending love (I know what it's like and I'm 10 years older)
Thank you for being so brave and talking openly about your struggles 💕. So happy you uploaded, I missed your vlogs
Thank you Rhiannon for opening up and being vulnerable on camera that would have been a difficult decision to make, and we appreciate your vulnerability.
As someone how has a long list of mental health struggles I see you and I feel your pain, just like you I have tried several medications and I tried different forms of therapy and depression comes and goes, leaving me mentally disabled to just function and get by. I often feel like I just ride the wave, I’ll come out to the other side eventually so I just try to be gentle and patient with myself.
I send you a big hug and take your time coming back fully, in the same why you’ll take time off if your sick, mental illness it’s the same ❤
I'm not usually one to comment, however, firstly your vlogs for me have always been very calming and very nice to watch, no matter the content, just the way you present yourself is calming in nature. Secondly, the way you articulate your feelings around mental health is just very refreshing to hear. I have struggled with my mental health, like you, with it being very up and down, and the feelings of motivation and hopelessness are incredibly relatable. ❤
THIS is exactly how I have felt recently, and I haven’t wanted to speak about it. Thank you for being a voice that some people need. It’s hard to speak about it, and you have shared it publicly, which a lot of people are grateful for. Sending you love
Hearing you speak felt like I was listening to myself, thank you for sharing and being so open it makes me feel less alone, heard and feelings validated. THANK YOU !!!
Thank you for creating a space where people can feel comfortable talking openly about their mental health struggles. I can't tell you how many times i have tried to explain why i am depressed or anxious to my friends or family, and just end up giving up and smiling through it. It is not all cookie cutter symptoms and remedies. Thank you for making me feel "normal" and seen ❤❤
I really get you when you mentioned your self esteem and then the instant tears after you said it. It's such a struggle, it just feels like a mountain to try go over it. Sometimes I know it's because of my low self esteem I feel certain ways and feel guilt, but I don't know how to change it. Sending my love and wanted to say I love the vlog too xx
Appreciate your vulnerability in this vlog and sending you love. Looking forward to seeing you around here again!
Love having you back with us ❤ would love to hear more about your therapist and your journey with therapy!
Rhiannon I can speak for the majority of people watching this (like me who have watched you for years. We are all thinking of you. You WILL get better and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Self care 24/7 for you 💗 you are amazing 🤍
Absolutely love your vlogs and appreciate how open and honest you are.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing. Missed you on here ❤
Was lovely to see this post today! I suffer from OCD and depression and have done for as long as I can remember. I really can relate to how isolated and hopeless mental illness can make you feel. I find the ins and outs of what I deal with hard to discuss with a lot of people, because of judgement and ignorance most of the time, but you are not alone and nobody owes anyone anything! Take care of yourself, it’s a process! 💕 Sending love x
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your tough times. You are so worthy and loved and appreciated. X
So good to see you back! Take care Rhiannon !!😘😘😘
It's so refreshing seeing someone I can relate to so much. I've watched you for year's well before you had Delilah. I turn 28 in 3 weeks time and life isn't where I want it to be but after so many years of being diagnosed with anxiety at 19 then depression in my 20's. I am now on the road of being assessed for ADHD and ASD like you said it's never a step back no matter what you have your times where it's a rollercoaster but I guess that's what life is!! We can do it😊 sending my love 🥰
I really appreciate that you’re talking honestly about your mental health and really hope we’re going to talk about like talking about a broken leg in the future. I struggle with anxiety and I find it really hard to talk openly about it with people that aren’t my closest friends or family. So I think you’re doing a great job in talking about it and you will help a lot of people with it!
I hope you’re feeling better soon! ❤
Oh Rhiannon, I can truly relate to how you feel. The lows can be so incredibly hard but it always 'helps' to hear that others are struggling too - although I wish no one had to go through this obviously! I hope this year, although the rough start, has a lot of great things for you in store. I am certain of it and wish you just all the best. Hearing/Seeing you again is such a relief, your channel really has become such a safe space over the past years and I've missed you and thought of how you're doing so often. Sending hugs and lots of love x
oh my gosh Rhiannon, I also have anxiety and depression and your words resonate so much with me. The hopelessness and sense of frustration with yourself are both something I really struggle with too. It's so hard when the dark clouds descend and everything seems pointless/bad, I almost never notice it happening until I feel the sun shining back through weeks later! Thank you for being so open - removing the stigma and making people feel less alone is so powerful! xx
Thank you so much for your candid chat about mental health. I think I'm similar to you - I was about 12 when it started. I nearly teared up a bit when you talked about feeling like your mental health had stolen things from you, because I've never heard anyone talk about this and it is exactly how I feel. Thank you for being so open!
I miss your vlogs when you are not uploading but it’s great that you are taking brakes and do what’s best for you. Sending lots of love! Thank you for being real :)
I have come to realise that i have struggles with my mental health and had no idea but it came really vivid when everything is okay in my life and sometimes I wake up with this feeling “ I’m sad and i don’t know why” so I stayed in my bed and out of a sudden I can’t find motivation to do the things I love the most doing
your hope to be helpful to someone happened -this helped me more than i can put into words. thank you
Your not alone Rhiannon. Myself along with I’m sure other followers with Mental Health struggles can relate entirely. I felt very seen watching someone share while feeling so wobbly and ungrounded. I wish you all the best on your journey and hope you have more relief and space between episodes soon x
I've been watching your videos since 2011 or 2012, and we're the same age, so in a way I feel like I've grown up alongside you. I've always appreciated how openly and honestly you speak about your mental health. Back in 2020, I learned I am autistic and adhd, and I also learned that I have Ehler's Danlos Syndrome. Learning all of that changed everything for me, and I had to learn to be way more patient with myself. Mental and physical tasks can be such a struggle, but I don't get upset with myself if things get done slowly or if I'm not able to do something on certain days.
So happy to see the notification that you’d uploaded!! I have been rewatching some of your older videos and was wondering if you were ok. Thank you so much for talking so openly about your mental health it really makes me feel less alone and more normal. Sending lots of love 🤍🤍🤍
So lovely to have you back, Rhiannon and thank you so much for being so open. This resonated with me so much, I’ve always struggled with depression and anxiety, and I’m currently going through a rough period. Trying to express how you feel to others can be so difficult and it can all feel quite lonely at points. Sending lots of love to you and anyone else feeling the same x
Always happy to see a vlog from you, no matter how much time has passed! As someone who has also had the worst depressive episode of their life this winter, sending you love!
thank you Rhiannon, from my heart. I really felt seen and understood. Thank you
Oh my Goodness. This resonates so much. I'm 53 and have suffered with depression and anxiety for many years also. Yep, being "inside" your head so much of the time is no fun. I think the weather this year, especially here in The South West has not helped me this year. The feelings of procrastination and helplessness can sometimes be overwhelming as you say. It's wonderful to see you back and has taken such courage and reserves of strength. Here's to feeling stronger and happier in our own skin as the summer hopefully comes in. X
Thank you so much for speaking so openly about it all. I suffer from mental health and panic attacks weekly - thank you for taking the time to vlog and share it. I hope you're having a relaxing Sunday :) sending love x
thank you for talking so openly about depression - I've been feeling exactly the same recently and I feel like people who haven't experienced it really just don't understand how horrible it is to feel trapped in your own brain. I know you're very very self critical of your content but there are so many of us that love videos like this and appreciate your honesty! Thank you for sharing when you feel so vulnerable, it's such a hard thing to overcome and you did it ❤
Missed you on here, glad to see you back. As someone who doesn't struggle with their mental health but is keen to understand more, I find it so interesting and thought provoking how you explain how you feel. Just wondering how Doug and Delilah cope with your depressive episodes xxx your amazing 👏 ❤️
Rhiannon, thank you! ❤ Thank you for your honesty and openness about your depression and you are so right. Depression is more than sadness and it helps when people are talking about it. But I know exactly what you are feeling and believe me: You are not alone! So many people struggling with this illness and I hope more people will realize that it is an illness. An illness people can't see, but it is important to be open, real and honest about it! That people who are suffer from it needs support and love. So much love from me to you.❤
The parts you feel are repetitive are my favorite. I love seeing you cook and i am a sucker for coffee segments
Hey Rhiannon, thank you for talking about this. It made me feel somewhat less alone. Also don't worry about creating 'boring' content, I would happily watch you knit whilst I crochet and I'm sure lots of others would to!
You described what it’s like to have depression so so well, I’m exactly the same and have been since I was about 18 (I’m 27 now). Thankfully, I restarted medication recently which has helped a lot! Thank you for making me feel less alone xxx
this little edit with you putting your headphones on! this is why i love your vlogs - these are tiny details but they show how much effort you put in editing ❤ thank you as always!
You’ve explained it so well Rhiannon, it can feel so much like you’re stuck at times. Thank you for being so honest, and sending you lots of love! It’s so hard to describe this to someone who doesn’t understand, thank you for being a voice for so many others! Xxx
Rihannon, it's so nice to see you back.
I recently lost my dad and I've been dealing with severe anxiety and depression (and insomnia lol), everyday is a struggle but keeping busy helps a little. Thank you for keeping on talking about it, sending you a big hug 💗.
Even if you just filmed yourself sitting on the couch, knitting or something, I would still watch it! Don't think too much about you being at home
Me too
Watching this I relate so much, I have chronic illnesses and anxiety/ depression, I often feel in pain and or ill due to the illnesses and sometimes I cope fine but others I just don’t, I start to question myself and everything I do, I can barely look at myself because I just feel so horrible in myself. It’s hard to explain those feelings to someone that’s never been through it. Just wanted to send love and hugs xx
It’s great to have you back Rhiannon ☺️
Thank you for talking about mental health. You may think you're just rambling, but you have helped me so much over the years. It makes it all feel a little bit better to know I'm not alone. ❤
Welcome back Rhiannon. Nice to see your face. I know everyone will comment on the mental health talk, and I admire you for being open about it, but I really want to focus on happy sided too. So happy to hear all about you wedding preparations and that you have settled on most of them. I am pretty sure it will turn out great.