I’m 23 and I started my fitness journey at 20, when I tell you that men are very visual ?!?! It’s crazy what type of men you get and how they treat you when you take care of yourself physically. And that’s just facts.
Agreed! Keep it up! 👏 I noticed the difference too when I lost half my size two years ago… and then 2020 happened and I’ve gained it all back from so much stress, isolation, cortisol, and emotional binge eating. 😔 Please pray for me to get back on that self-discipline of keto & fasting! Of course for my husband to approach me because he likes what he sees, but for my own health too!
Very true, I lost 85 lbs and finally started attracting the men I'm actually interested in...now I get to be picky 😂 and pay attention to more than just looks
Also too, when a woman feels better about her weight and body, she exudes more security and confidence which also encourages more attention towards her.
I’m overweight and I have great confidence that I gained from spending time alone living on my self. Looking in the mirror excepting how God created me to be
@@kanikaamor6905 not that you’re rare, but your confidence with being overweight isn’t normal for a lot of ppl. Because God didn’t create anyone to be overweight.
This is extremely true. I struggled with my weight FOR YEARS & finally got it right. Thirty pounds and counting & I feel and look great! I’ve noticed more attention as well. I cannot wait for spring and summertime!
Being feminine is very powerful. Usually, guys want to marry a woman who owns her femininity just like woman want to marry a strong masculine guy. it honestly relates all back to science. Keep yourself clean, presentable, smelling good and dressed up. it’s really not that hard and it’s quite fun. If you want a man who looks nice you will have to do your part as well ❤️
THIS! I didnt discover TG until 2020 (in my mind..but I actually I reposted a quote of his on FB in 2013). When I started listening to his vids..per usual I said.."where was he at 5 years ago"...and all of the other things we say for having made poor decisions. Nonetheless, as the saying goes.."the teacher will appear when the student is ready to learn"...so glad I was "ready"..everything is right on time! On and upward Sis! 🥰🥰
I would much rather be the woman who appeals to him physically on first sight rather than someone who grows on him over time. Eventually he would see someone who is his physical ideal and then what 😐.
I rather be a woman who gets his heart emotional because that physical girl body type can change too. It's all the inner man as well. In conclusion, it's best to have both cuz the same guy can get use to sleeping with that girl but won't marry her.
@HoneyNut Cocaine I said its best to have both the body & personality but even with that it doesn't guarantee you'll have him emotionally. Who doesn't know being slimmer & having a pretty face brings more options
It’s so interesting that so many men judge women physically when most men are overweight. I say this as a woman who gets a lot of male attention and they make comments about my looks and body but theirs isn’t perfect. They think it’s a compliment or use as a pick up line, but It’s annoying at this point.
Tony you are on point in this video but I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THIS🤷🏽♀️ men know what they want and if you’re what he wants he will take action and make space for you in his life and when he doesn’t you just have to accept you’re not what he wants and it’s his loss💯
This hurt me. I was talking to a guy. It's been 2months. And I knew he was not that into me. I was going to ghost him but his mum just passed now all I want to do is be there for him. ☹️
God said Adam LOOKED upon eve, I knew at a very young age that this would be the case lol. Men are visual, that will never change, no matter who doesn’t like it. I honestly don’t mind it. I personally don’t like really attractive men, they come off undercover or head gassed up. But because I don’t care for looks as much, I expect a man to be a provider, and to put more effort in his appearance
You lose weight for yourself, not because you think a man will marry you. Because there are overweight women getting married everyday. And women who are not overweight struggling to find a man, let alone one to marry them.
Tony I cannot agree enough, I'm 35 years old and you said this is painful for us women to hear about certain things in our life we need to get together weight, money , All the above. I've been married since I was 22 years old to my husband and my weight been up and down up and down and no he never said anything about it but I always felt not good or feeling down and I couldn't be my best, for me or him, soon as I went to the gym started eating healthier going to bed early getting sleep, body started to change I felt more good I started waking him up extra early, as I started to change he started to change as well. So this conversation is painful but it's very serious and is very necessary. Some of us women don't want to believe it.🙏🦋
This is so true. I met my fiancé after I had lost 30 lbs. he looked at me straight in my eyes our first date and told me I was the girl he dreamed about when he was a kid. Same face SAME BODY. He has always been obsessed with my face and just stares at me every chance he gets. I’ve been told I was beautiful my whole life but had very low self esteem and self worth bc my weight yo-yos up and down every year. He’s the first man that the first moment he locked eyes with me I truly felt when he said I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And that I would be his wife someday. Just like that and he was on a mission lol. But over the last year I’ve gained 10-15 lbs of happy weight in 2 years and Hv had trouble motivating myself to get it off bc of a back injury. He’s been nice about it but recently he just been telling me to work through the pain lol. He says it’s not my weight and that he wants me to be healthy but he’s so sweet I know that’s what he means. this was my wake up call and motivation i needed to lose the weight Today and work through the pain!
I agree wholeheartedly with this message. Back in 2018, the Holy Spirit told me that I needed to work on my weight. He was not specific, however, your message has told me all I needed to know. Thank you🙏🏾
It’s the same as women wanting men who are well off financially, which means that he can take care of her and the future children. No, men are not shallow. No, women are not gold diggers. It’s natural instinct.
I agree it’s not wrong but most women have careers. So we are in the same tier financially and don’t need our looks to be traded for security. They just need to step up personality and looks wise too
I think all males start off as visual creatures. Grown men move beyond that, grown boys can't get past it. Still I see and receive the message as given, all the while accepting that as a woman, I'll never fully understand how men think.
Well Tony. I am a woman but GREW up with 6 brothers. When a man TRULY falls in love WITH a woman. She can be a TROLL, a 4X4 ( 4ft high & 4ft wide). BUT in HIS eyes she is Marilyn Monroe. Same goes FOR women. BUT the ugly truth IS most people DON'T wait FOR there TRUE LOVE. That what YOU are talking about IS partnerships. NOT TRUE LOVE. I DESIRE MY TRUE LOVE. Money & looks fade for everyone. YOU NEED substance TRUE LOVE to last FOR a HAPPY UNION....
Honestly as a woman I am very visual too it’s not just men. I take good care of myself and I like to dress up so I expect the same thing from men. It’s amazing to me how many men don’t do anything for their physical appearance and expect to get a supermodel. It goes both ways!!
Yes. You need to get their attention by your looks and how you move and talk. But you keep them by who you are and how you treat them. I've once been talking to a guy and we've discussed a lot. We did a video call and he only saw my face in it. He told me my weight is a turn off and he's been asking me to lose weight for him. Meanwhile i don't even have any complaints about his physical appearance. I'm only a bit chubby anyway. Well i stopped talking to him. But it's true! Guys really choose women based on looks at first.
yeah at first but if you are slim and you have an opinion they ll walk away.. + they ll still tell you things about how you look too could be hair, skin etc. ..however I did a BF years ago who never tried to put me down and Never said anything about how I looked..simply that I looked great..so thats the kind of man you d want. I've been told by random men id need to gain weight as they d be too big for me..sickening..but thank god my legs are closed and I dont want the attention of such men..
I agree men are visual and I don’t mind it. I think a lot of times we LOOK like our personality and I believe a man will initially approach you based on that. That may not necessarily (only) mean cute, pretty or not. I may look demure, respectable, sensible to some and that may attract them to me. The next woman may look outspoken, boisterous, or strong and some men may be drawn to that. To each his own. I know my sisters, friends and I usually attract different kinds of men and I don’t take it as superficial. It usually matches pretty well.
Sometimes men can misjudge you based on their experiences and what they “think” they see in you.This happens to me all the time. That’s why as a Christian woman I sometimes attract players. Because to them a woman who looks vulnerable is not usually strong. And a woman who looks confident to them can also be insecure. It’s a fine line. That’s why discernment is a necessity.
@@cindeed4422 Yes. Looks can be deceiving. But I agree with Tony that for men it starts there. Then comes the dating and getting to know the person beyond the initial visual. To see if it’s a match beyond looks.
As you can see from my pic, I am a black woman. So when the men I have dated get to know me, I am nothing like the way I look. They have a lot of NEGATIVE assumptions about black women and I don’t fit any of them. I mentioned to one guy that I like sailing and he was shocked and called me a liar. It’s pretty sad because it takes a mature person to understand that a person is not defined by their race.
Thanks for making time for us, Tony. We really do appreciate your dedication to your purpose and I am listening + applying the lessons. Your work is not in vain. Thank you!
How are we supposed to really want these men? I don't see any regular guy that I think is an Adonis. Why such high standards for a woman's look but not for their own? We are human. We are not some Barbie doll on the shelf. What about when they have these pot bellies and erectile dysfunction? Do they want us to desire them? PLEASE
Sadly the rampant pornographic perversion of society has warped the minds of so many men who wrongfully think that their lust can be quenched. Love is to be a cheerful and generous giver, Lust on the other hand focuses on what it can GET, which is why most of these type of men don’t care about their own looks as much. 🤷🏻♀️
New to your channel. I have been watching some of your old videos in which I greatly enjoyed all of them. I have been sharing your insight with others and they are just taken back by your intelligence and wisdom and so am I. I actually take notes in my journal as I watch you and go back and read it to summarize everything so I'm actually learning as I watch.. I get excited when my notifications bell go off and you have dropped another video. You make learning fun because of your sense of humor and you keep it real at all times 💯💯. Mr Tony I be at work telling folks stay off yo back and gon bout yo business..Point blank period.🤣🤣🤣😆😆
Nine hours ago but only now it pops up on my cell. Better late than never. I'm blessed to be here. This is my daily vitamin. Mr. Tony is my Shepherd and proud to be a sheep here. Be blessed.
Men are not that stuck on looks anymore G, not when it comes to a woman that he wants to keep. A guy falls for a woman’s personality, that’s why a lot of guys end up falling for a girl who he spends time with for whatever reason, whether it’s work or whatever.
Awesome video and love your insight. Yes men are visual creatures, even after he marries you..I think it's important as a woman to keep her looks up, especially her weight. If he sees that his woman is healthy and happy..It encourages him to do the same thus a better long lasting relationship. This is why I keep myself in the gym, keep my hair done and nails.
I feel so defeated sometimes watching these videos. I had no type of guidance like this growing up and now here I am, wasted 8 years with a man who clearly used me and I have nothing but regret and disappointment to show for it. Smh picking up the pieces is not easy when you're older.
Thanks Tony!! It's hard to accept but that's why we gotta do the work...and then make em pay the bills 😂😂 IM KIDDING!! I can pay my own bills lmao God bless you and your family!!
I was married for 34 years and had 2 big babies. My deceased husband was a good moral Christian man. I was 95 lbs when I got married. Then my last kid I got up to 185 lbs. I am now 125 lbs. My husband asked me after the second kid when I was going to lose weight. Well I told him I got my fat and produced 2 kids. I asked him since he was at least 40 lbs over weight. I asked him when was he going to give birth to his babies in his body. He laughed and said he was very stressed with 2 kids and that was why he gained weight. So you men out there women gain wt and when we have kids our bodies change. So men stop complaining and help your wife and encourage her and always say you love her no matter how much she weighs. She knows about her weight and eventually will with encouragement lose the weight.
I'm a woman and this describes me 😅. I'm very feminine (extremely) people tell me that all the time. Um... 😫 I'm not superficial but if ain't all there it ain't all there. Someone could be really good looking but if they have a horrible personality then they aren't as attractive, but someone can be okay looking... like a lil tasty n if their personality is good it makes them more attractive. I mean like I said if it ain't all there it ain't all there.
This is true...i am now 50. And wasted my entire youth on the wrong guys. I have always been over weight by 30lbs. The men I would like would go for someone else. Eventually I met a guy that i think liked me but i met Satan that had self esteem issues just as i but he felt being with me would be good for him although he wanted a good body women. That did not go well.. Now I m older and dating and its the same. I know I should be smaller , but at this point i am over it. So ladies take care of your physical , men are really into body types. That is number one for them. Well a good man.
Wow this is very interesting topic. Because you made some very good points. But as woman's I feel if a man is attractive to you rather you are skinny or heavier that's what he likes then that's on him but do believe a woman should Keep your temple in good health. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Thanks Minster Gaston for this encouraging message.
Thank you Tony! I have been following you since 2015 and have completed your Life Coach Certification Course 🙏 Thank you for your hard work and blessings from Dublin Ireland you have helped shaped me into the woman I am today 🙏 Please bring Sheri on soon we love her! ☺️❤️
It's true.. I'm often overlooked and I'm fed up with it so I'm just going to be the best me I can possibly be and if someone likes me later then bonus. I need to get comfortable and thriving being single so I'm not so needy. It's very painful. I'm sick of being overlooked and chasing.. Maybe if I just improve myself I'll see some bonuses besides the rewards of getting my house and whole self in order.
Big brother T! I know got in trouble for the shower thing but You alright with me. My Dad does that & he doesn’t have a problem. Lol. Well anyway I thank you for your transparency & for being a guiding light. God bless
I don't know...I see an awful lot of fine looking men with not so fine looking women....So let's say looks aside, and you're dating, how does he know she's the one?
Like he said, the guy may sacrifice looks because she meets 8/10 of his dream girl/love list OR he's money-focused and she has a bag (see Mary J. Blige. Obviously, Mary is gorgeous, but her husband ended up leaving her for a younger woman who was an aspiring singer and the opposite of Mary's look, leading me to believe that Mary was never his type, the new woman is). Obviously, just my two cents (shrug).
Not one lie told!! Many ppl wonder why the women back in the day kept a marriage they knew how superficial men were and kept themselves together and always kept their house and their men's belly's full with food and sex.
That's not what I saw growing up. Men married women based on their heart and character and they were not superficial. Yes he noticed her looks, but she wasn't a size 6 or even 9 and sometimes not even a 12 and they didn't have gyms then. My grandmothers and Aunties back in the day were thick and curvy and they did take care of themselves. I admired how they practised good hygiene. I'm from the South. It was different and really still is. Good men married women based on if she was kind compassionate smart and intelligent. They knew looks could and would change. She might've been a little thicker around the middle or thicker thighs, but she knew how to run a house. She wasn't busy working hard and showing off at the workplace and lazy at home. She Took care of home and the children and very well. Not only were they taught in school she taught them things at home. Upstanding and righteous morals and values. To be honest, I don't see that much today. I'm not saying looks aren't important and good sex isn't meaningful, but mature wise men know how to spot a mature wise woman. Why are there so many (fine) brothers and sisters in divorce court??
@@beautytyc7 yeah although you do have a few points and where you live can shape your mindset so I'm not knocking it but in general a man wants his women to look good as men are very visual. Honestly someone staying married and not being in divorce court isn't always because they have a healthy, holy marriage. Every man and every women is indeed different and have different wants and needs but I stand on what I have said even from listening to Tony men are visual so build your body, brand and business! Yes cook and keep yourself children and home together. We're not gonna base a full gender on men on just the confines of the south as we do tend to eat more unhealthy, well seasoned food on this side, my point is most men of you do a survey would prefer an inshape, beautiful(inside and out), cooperative and loving women but attraction is what draws a man to you and blacks are the main race who don't take our health seriously because most races with different ethnic women you will see keep their figure event after baby. Some don't but majority do.
When my fiancé first asked me out I asked him why he wants to go out with my and the first word he said was beautiful, he now says that I was already a wife before we met, and I continue to show him that I was a wife 🥹
Man this video is straight facts 💯. I’m currently going through this right now and it sucks. I’ve been dating a women for 3 years now and I’m a male that loves women that at-least try to go to the gym and take care. But over the years my current GF is over weight. She loving, ambitious, and has all the other qualities I want. But because of social media you see all these fit female influencers and it’s hard not to want a women that physically looks great. I get it a lot of men in relationships let themselves go. I’m just talking about us men that prioritize fitness in our life.
The sad thing is this I dated a man that was 5'10 and maybe 25 pounds over weight and he had a problem with me because I'm over weight and I'm 4'11. The problem being he was taking blood pressure medicine, gerd meds, depression medications so in my mind he was very unhealthy on the inside and to add if he was stressed out he would lose his hair.
09:40 I have had men say this to me because of my looks and body all my life. I am highly educated men will not ask what I do but overly focus on my face or stare. I had men tell me they wanted to talk to me because of how I look. Plus women have told me they became my friends to go out and hang with me to meet guys. That is discouraging when trying to meet female friends.
@@LA-wv7gf One of my friends told me this after we hung out she became upset and would point out men that was looking at me. Some would be single some not and say she was invisible. She was mad and did not hang out with me again. Another girl came up t me and was like we should hang out to meet guys. Another. Friends just told me that while eating out. Another friend took pictures of me while i was not looking and went to get a BBL and used my pictures as reference and confessed it to me later. It makes me question why people are talking to me.
@@arandaholley1719 it sounds like you need to change your circle. I’m an introvert and deep thinker, and desire deeper connections; so I would have been distance myself from them. You have to make friends who are “like-minded”, and have things in common with.
I’m sorry but I don’t think men marry off looks, from what I’ve seen it’s chemistry that leads to that. Men sleep with good looking women and cheat or dog them all the time
Men definitely are about looks first, for the most part. He isn’t the only man to say this. Every man I know said this and other men I watch on here. They have to be attractive to you in that way, or really they ain’t making that move.
@@dejanae7336 I believe attraction and looks is the main component in a man sleeping with you, but I do not believe that’s the main reason they’ll marry you. Look at T.I (the rapper) and Tiny ……….. it’s chemistry and how they get along that pushed him to marry her. 9 times out of 10, men would say tiny isn’t attractive
Sadly a woman can have everything going on for herself from the independency to the looks and still get passed over for her skin tone, hair texture, etc...just be honest about it...🙄
It is what it is. I already knew. Since I’m not entertaining bums anymore and been abstinent & single for over 3 years, I guess that’ll continue for the rest of my lifetime. Unless I work extra hard to slim down again & fix myself up like a model daily even tho I’m low-maintenance 😕
TG..look like the workouts maybe paying off..keep gettin them work outs in and holdin' off on dat Popeyes..🤣🤣. And gone and try some of them intense workout sessions the Queen be doing....
Really interesting, but I'm curious about this as I spent most of my life being told they weren't interested in anything serious because I was too nice. What about the nice girl syndrome and how does that factor in to how they see you? Really enjoy all your perspectives!
WELL TO ME IF A MAN CAN'T APPRECIATE YOU AT YOUR WORST THEN YOU DONT NEED HIM. BECAUSE I BET IF HE FOUND OUT HER NETWORTH TO BE A HIGH VALUE NUMBER, HE WOULD OVERLOOK HER WEIGHT ETC. ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK !!!😮
Ive been young slim confident inside & out; young , slim & insecure after the fact: also been fat (or so i thought) & insecure , and also fat & now Not insecure cause i went within & Sought HS opinion & revelation on it from inside out. Ive not dated or anything 15+ years & abstinent 12 yrs. I "assumed" on & off that it was because of me physically until my late.30s. I really dont know where i stand in others eyes at this point. Im 55 & white. Re learning men in my homestate after 25-35 years. I finally got off the detoured path i took unconditionally because of that assumption in 1982! Id adoptedca wayvof internalized thinking. I want to do the work for the body..but i feel like i confirmed info & now know too much!! Thanks to TG! LOL
Hmmm... I wonder what I'm doing wrong. I seem to only attract guys that I'm not attracted to and old men.... or at least these are the men who approach me the most. 🤔
Men want a woman to take care of her body and women want men to take care of their emotions I see alot of men that 'present' well but it is just a facade Surface level
It’s amazing how “some” men want women to look a certain way and most don’t have that same energy for themselves.
🤣🤣🤣😂, don't start. But really the nerve 🙄
Amen
Truueeee. So true.
😂😂
@@saetae9208 I’m trying😏
I’m 23 and I started my fitness journey at 20, when I tell you that men are very visual ?!?! It’s crazy what type of men you get and how they treat you when you take care of yourself physically. And that’s just facts.
Agreed! Keep it up! 👏
I noticed the difference too when I lost half my size two years ago… and then 2020 happened and I’ve gained it all back from so much stress, isolation, cortisol, and emotional binge eating. 😔
Please pray for me to get back on that self-discipline of keto & fasting! Of course for my husband to approach me because he likes what he sees, but for my own health too!
OMG so true. I dropped 25lbs and got all kinds of attention, like wow that's all I had to do lol
It is super visual for men but don't forget to invest in your other 2 B's : brain & brand.
💯
Very true, I lost 85 lbs and finally started attracting the men I'm actually interested in...now I get to be picky 😂 and pay attention to more than just looks
Also too, when a woman feels better about her weight and body, she exudes more security and confidence which also encourages more attention towards her.
I’m overweight and I have great confidence that I gained from spending time alone living on my self. Looking in the mirror excepting how God created me to be
@@kanikaamor6905 great for you
@@kanikaamor6905 not that you’re rare, but your confidence with being overweight isn’t normal for a lot of ppl. Because God didn’t create anyone to be overweight.
This is extremely true. I struggled with my weight FOR YEARS & finally got it right. Thirty pounds and counting & I feel and look great! I’ve noticed more attention as well. I cannot wait for spring and summertime!
Actual factuals ❤
Being feminine is very powerful. Usually, guys want to marry a woman who owns her femininity just like woman want to marry a strong masculine guy. it honestly relates all back to science. Keep yourself clean, presentable, smelling good and dressed up. it’s really not that hard and it’s quite fun. If you want a man who looks nice you will have to do your part as well ❤️
Haha. I love looking nice for him. He said my hair smelled good. Lol!
Amen and just be you stop putting on a front stop trying be some one who see on TV
I've been watching you the way you used to watch Zig Ziggler.....you truly are my big brother in Christ, I appreciate you!
Right?!. Binge learning for months. Lol
🙌🏾👏🏽
THIS! I didnt discover TG until 2020 (in my mind..but I actually I reposted a quote of his on FB in 2013). When I started listening to his vids..per usual I said.."where was he at 5 years ago"...and all of the other things we say for having made poor decisions. Nonetheless, as the saying goes.."the teacher will appear when the student is ready to learn"...so glad I was "ready"..everything is right on time! On and upward Sis! 🥰🥰
Dear Ladies...🗣️ Get In The Gym, Get It Right, Get It Tight!🎯💯
🙋🏻♀️ Yes ma’am! Will do!
I’m tired of *not* being my type’s type.
And get your hair done, nails done.
Dress well, have good hygiene, be feminine and enjoyable to be around.
You supposed looks your best rather you have a man or not
Okay will do. 👍👍👍
I would much rather be the woman who appeals to him physically on first sight rather than someone who grows on him over time. Eventually he would see someone who is his physical ideal and then what 😐.
Real talk!
I rather be a woman who gets his heart emotional because that physical girl body type can change too. It's all the inner man as well. In conclusion, it's best to have both cuz the same guy can get use to sleeping with that girl but won't marry her.
@HoneyNut Cocaine of course who wouldn't. But you can have a great body & personality and a man still not invest in you emotionally.
@HoneyNut Cocaine I said its best to have both the body & personality but even with that it doesn't guarantee you'll have him emotionally. Who doesn't know being slimmer & having a pretty face brings more options
And or you get sick and don't look the same anymore and then he leaves you because now your ailing and he doesn't want to be bothered.
It’s so interesting that so many men judge women physically when most men are overweight. I say this as a woman who gets a lot of male attention and they make comments about my looks and body but theirs isn’t perfect. They think it’s a compliment or use as a pick up line, but It’s annoying at this point.
That so true. I think we’ve all experienced that. It’s so nuts. I’ve just learned to not give them the attention, especially if they’re negging you.
Balding, overweight, dad bod without having kids, some men hit Father Time at 25 lol
That's probably true, but that a lot of people women too. A lot of women would treat a short, bald fat guy differently then a hot guy.
Tony you are on point in this video but I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THIS🤷🏽♀️ men know what they want and if you’re what he wants he will take action and make space for you in his life and when he doesn’t you just have to accept you’re not what he wants and it’s his loss💯
This hurt me. I was talking to a guy. It's been 2months. And I knew he was not that into me. I was going to ghost him but his mum just passed now all I want to do is be there for him. ☹️
This the one!!! Men know what they want.
@@orearabilekgotle8690 I can relate. But just send him your condolences, for his mother's passing and move on. You'll end up breaking your own heart.💜
God said Adam LOOKED upon eve, I knew at a very young age that this would be the case lol. Men are visual, that will never change, no matter who doesn’t like it. I honestly don’t mind it. I personally don’t like really attractive men, they come off undercover or head gassed up. But because I don’t care for looks as much, I expect a man to be a provider, and to put more effort in his appearance
I love how you mentioned Adam&Eve..Eve was beautiful and at that time, she had no competition!
Exactly. Same. I want a provider and someone who is kind.
👍
Amen
@@acd1168 yes 🙌, the guy I’m dating is so kind, and it literally makes him so much more attractive
Sometimes truth hurts but is most needed thanks
You lose weight for yourself, not because you think a man will marry you. Because there are overweight women getting married everyday. And women who are not overweight struggling to find a man, let alone one to marry them.
Tony I cannot agree enough, I'm 35 years old and you said this is painful for us women to hear about certain things in our life we need to get together weight, money , All the above. I've been married since I was 22 years old to my husband and my weight been up and down up and down and no he never said anything about it but I always felt not good or feeling down and I couldn't be my best, for me or him, soon as I went to the gym started eating healthier going to bed early getting sleep, body started to change I felt more good I started waking him up extra early, as I started to change he started to change as well. So this conversation is painful but it's very serious and is very necessary. Some of us women don't want to believe it.🙏🦋
This is so true. I met my fiancé after I had lost 30 lbs. he looked at me straight in my eyes our first date and told me I was the girl he dreamed about when he was a kid. Same face SAME BODY. He has always been obsessed with my face and just stares at me every chance he gets. I’ve been told I was beautiful my whole life but had very low self esteem and self worth bc my weight yo-yos up and down every year. He’s the first man that the first moment he locked eyes with me I truly felt when he said I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And that I would be his wife someday. Just like that and he was on a mission lol. But over the last year I’ve gained 10-15 lbs of happy weight in 2 years and Hv had trouble motivating myself to get it off bc of a back injury. He’s been nice about it but recently he just been telling me to work through the pain lol. He says it’s not my weight and that he wants me to be healthy but he’s so sweet I know that’s what he means. this was my wake up call and motivation i needed to lose the weight Today and work through the pain!
I agree wholeheartedly with this message. Back in 2018, the Holy Spirit told me that I needed to work on my weight. He was not specific, however, your message has told me all I needed to know. Thank you🙏🏾
It’s the same as women wanting men who are well off financially, which means that he can take care of her and the future children. No, men are not shallow. No, women are not gold diggers. It’s natural instinct.
I agree it’s not wrong but most women have careers. So we are in the same tier financially and don’t need our looks to be traded for security. They just need to step up personality and looks wise too
I appreciate you being a part of helping people know the truth 🦋🙏🏽
Amen
I think all males start off as visual creatures. Grown men move beyond that, grown boys can't get past it. Still I see and receive the message as given, all the while accepting that as a woman, I'll never fully understand how men think.
Fair...unless his pockets are as big as his waist.@BeautyQueen2023X
All I can say is Thank you. You are like a big brother telling it like it is. 🙏🏼
And Uncle and God Father.
Well Tony. I am a woman but GREW up with 6 brothers. When a man TRULY falls in love WITH a woman. She can be a TROLL, a 4X4 ( 4ft high & 4ft wide). BUT in HIS eyes she is Marilyn Monroe.
Same goes FOR women. BUT the ugly truth IS most people DON'T wait FOR there TRUE LOVE. That what YOU are talking about IS partnerships. NOT TRUE LOVE. I DESIRE MY TRUE LOVE. Money & looks fade for everyone. YOU NEED substance TRUE LOVE to last FOR a HAPPY UNION....
Honestly as a woman I am very visual too it’s not just men. I take good care of myself and I like to dress up so I expect the same thing from men.
It’s amazing to me how many men don’t do anything for their physical appearance and expect to get a supermodel. It goes both ways!!
Yes. You need to get their attention by your looks and how you move and talk. But you keep them by who you are and how you treat them.
I've once been talking to a guy and we've discussed a lot. We did a video call and he only saw my face in it. He told me my weight is a turn off and he's been asking me to lose weight for him. Meanwhile i don't even have any complaints about his physical appearance. I'm only a bit chubby anyway. Well i stopped talking to him. But it's true! Guys really choose women based on looks at first.
You did the right thing. Today it’s your weight and tomorrow it’s something.
When guys look at weight please understand they may be looking at long term. chubby today. Obese tomorrow.
@Sarah D.H. so basically your saying he doesn't matter. Losing weight could improve the relationship.
yeah at first but if you are slim and you have an opinion they ll walk away.. + they ll still tell you things about how you look too could be hair, skin etc. ..however I did a BF years ago who never tried to put me down and Never said anything about how I looked..simply that I looked great..so thats the kind of man you d want.
I've been told by random men id need to gain weight as they d be too big for me..sickening..but thank god my legs are closed and I dont want the attention of such men..
@@irlandaise5631 Oh wow that’s surprising to me. I thought thinner women had it much easier in the dating world… 😕
I agree men are visual and I don’t mind it. I think a lot of times we LOOK like our personality and I believe a man will initially approach you based on that. That may not necessarily (only) mean cute, pretty or not. I may look demure, respectable, sensible to some and that may attract them to me. The next woman may look outspoken, boisterous, or strong and some men may be drawn to that. To each his own. I know my sisters, friends and I usually attract different kinds of men and I don’t take it as superficial. It usually matches pretty well.
Sometimes men can misjudge you based on their experiences and what they “think” they see in you.This happens to me all the time. That’s why as a Christian woman I sometimes attract players. Because to them a woman who looks vulnerable is not usually strong. And a woman who looks confident to them can also be insecure. It’s a fine line. That’s why discernment is a necessity.
@@cindeed4422 Yes. Looks can be deceiving. But I agree with Tony that for men it starts there. Then comes the dating and getting to know the person beyond the initial visual. To see if it’s a match beyond looks.
As you can see from my pic, I am a black woman. So when the men I have dated get to know me, I am nothing like the way I look. They have a lot of NEGATIVE assumptions about black women and I don’t fit any of them. I mentioned to one guy that I like sailing and he was shocked and called me a liar. It’s pretty sad because it takes a mature person to understand that a person is not defined by their race.
I absolutely adore your modesty! Such a shame theres not many men like you around anymore. You wife is truly blessed to have you as her husband 🥰
Thanks for making time for us, Tony. We really do appreciate your dedication to your purpose and I am listening + applying the lessons. Your work is not in vain. Thank you!
How are we supposed to really want these men? I don't see any regular guy that I think is an Adonis. Why such high standards for a woman's look but not for their own? We are human. We are not some Barbie doll on the shelf. What about when they have these pot bellies and erectile dysfunction? Do they want us to desire them? PLEASE
Sadly the rampant pornographic perversion of society has warped the minds of so many men who wrongfully think that their lust can be quenched.
Love is to be a cheerful and generous giver, Lust on the other hand focuses on what it can GET, which is why most of these type of men don’t care about their own looks as much. 🤷🏻♀️
Happy Monday blessed tribe! This is definitely confirmation to my thoughts.
Happy Monday boo 😘
@@Glamrocs 🤗🤗🤗❤
New to your channel. I have been watching some of your old videos in which I greatly enjoyed all of them. I have been sharing your insight with others and they are just taken back by your intelligence and wisdom and so am I. I actually take notes in my journal as I watch you and go back and read it to summarize everything so I'm actually learning as I watch.. I get excited when my notifications bell go off and you have dropped another video. You make learning fun because of your sense of humor and you keep it real at all times 💯💯. Mr Tony I be at work telling folks stay off yo back and gon bout yo business..Point blank period.🤣🤣🤣😆😆
Nine hours ago but only now it pops up on my cell. Better late than never. I'm blessed to be here. This is my daily vitamin. Mr. Tony is my Shepherd and proud to be a sheep here. Be blessed.
My Lord this message was on Point!
What the world needs is more people like you, Tony, who are honest and aren't afraid to tell it like it is.
Men are not that stuck on looks anymore G, not when it comes to a woman that he wants to keep. A guy falls for a woman’s personality, that’s why a lot of guys end up falling for a girl who he spends time with for whatever reason, whether it’s work or whatever.
Awesome video and love your insight. Yes men are visual creatures, even after he marries you..I think it's important as a woman to keep her looks up, especially her weight. If he sees that his woman is healthy and happy..It encourages him to do the same thus a better long lasting relationship. This is why I keep myself in the gym, keep my hair done and nails.
My friend told me that she loves your videos!!! I shared your last two with you! Thanks for everything that you do
It's a short one..I like that!
I feel so defeated sometimes watching these videos. I had no type of guidance like this growing up and now here I am, wasted 8 years with a man who clearly used me and I have nothing but regret and disappointment to show for it. Smh picking up the pieces is not easy when you're older.
Thanks Tony!! It's hard to accept but that's why we gotta do the work...and then make em pay the bills 😂😂 IM KIDDING!! I can pay my own bills lmao God bless you and your family!!
Honest insight. Watching for Part 2.
Tony you are the best! I appreciate this message so much
I was married for 34 years and had 2 big babies. My deceased husband was a good moral Christian man. I was 95 lbs when I got married. Then my last kid I got up to 185 lbs. I am now 125 lbs. My husband asked me after the second kid when I was going to lose weight. Well I told him I got my fat and produced 2 kids. I asked him since he was at least 40 lbs over weight. I asked him when was he going to give birth to his babies in his body. He laughed and said he was very stressed with 2 kids and that was why he gained weight. So you men out there women gain wt and when we have kids our bodies change. So men stop complaining and help your wife and encourage her and always say you love her no matter how much she weighs. She knows about her weight and eventually will with encouragement lose the weight.
This makes complete sense. Well explained, bro.
So I feel you!! Keep preaching and exposing. I love it!
Blessings Bro Tony am here tonight 🙋🏿♀️ listening and learning, and also I can tell your voice sounds clearer Thank God for Healing your body 👏🏿👏🏿
I really needed to hear this. Thank you 🧡
I'm a woman and this describes me 😅. I'm very feminine (extremely) people tell me that all the time. Um... 😫 I'm not superficial but if ain't all there it ain't all there. Someone could be really good looking but if they have a horrible personality then they aren't as attractive, but someone can be okay looking... like a lil tasty n if their personality is good it makes them more attractive. I mean like I said if it ain't all there it ain't all there.
This is true...i am now 50. And wasted my entire youth on the wrong guys. I have always been over weight by 30lbs. The men I would like would go for someone else. Eventually I met a guy that i think liked me but i met Satan that had self esteem issues just as i but he felt being with me would be good for him although he wanted a good body women. That did not go well.. Now I m older and dating and its the same. I know I should be smaller , but at this point i am over it. So ladies take care of your physical , men are really into body types. That is number one for them. Well a good man.
Wow this is very interesting topic. Because you made some very good points. But as woman's I feel if a man is attractive to you rather you are skinny or heavier that's what he likes then that's on him but do believe a woman should Keep your temple in good health. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Thanks Minster Gaston for this encouraging message.
Thank you Tony! I have been following you since 2015 and have completed your Life Coach Certification Course 🙏
Thank you for your hard work and blessings from Dublin Ireland you have helped shaped me into the woman I am today 🙏
Please bring Sheri on soon we love her! ☺️❤️
It's true.. I'm often overlooked and I'm fed up with it so I'm just going to be the best me I can possibly be and if someone likes me later then bonus.
I need to get comfortable and thriving being single so I'm not so needy.
It's very painful.
I'm sick of being overlooked and chasing..
Maybe if I just improve myself I'll see some bonuses besides the rewards of getting my house and whole self in order.
Truthful video. Thanks Tony.🙏🏽🤗
Thank you for being honest. It's the honesty I respect because it helps with SELF improvement.
Appreciate knowledge and your time
Thank you 👑Unk"!!!🤜🏽💥🤛🏽
This makes me think of the movie 'Boomerang'. The outside can always be popped out. So where the genuine ppl at!??
Big brother T! I know got in trouble for the shower thing but You alright with me. My Dad does that & he doesn’t have a problem. Lol. Well anyway I thank you for your transparency & for being a guiding light. God bless
Thank you for this teaching.
Absolutely 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 My husband must see me as myself.....
I don't know...I see an awful lot of fine looking men with not so fine looking women....So let's say looks aside, and you're dating, how does he know she's the one?
Like he said, the guy may sacrifice looks because she meets 8/10 of his dream girl/love list OR he's money-focused and she has a bag (see Mary J. Blige. Obviously, Mary is gorgeous, but her husband ended up leaving her for a younger woman who was an aspiring singer and the opposite of Mary's look, leading me to believe that Mary was never his type, the new woman is). Obviously, just my two cents (shrug).
Looks fade.
Another point to consider- some of those women are with men who are draining the life out of them.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It means different things to different men. It’s looks vs. substance.
@@thegrace-basedstudent5701 I agree, physical beauty does fades over time.
Not one lie told!! Many ppl wonder why the women back in the day kept a marriage they knew how superficial men were and kept themselves together and always kept their house and their men's belly's full with food and sex.
Yes that might be true in some way but if a man is not faithful it's really don't matter how you look
@@fredajohnson506 that's where it's on you because you chose that man. We have to take responsibility for the man we choose.
That's not what I saw growing up. Men married women based on their heart and character and they were not superficial. Yes he noticed her looks, but she wasn't a size 6 or even 9 and sometimes not even a 12 and they didn't have gyms then. My grandmothers and Aunties back in the day were thick and curvy and they did take care of themselves. I admired how they practised good hygiene. I'm from the South. It was different and really still is. Good men married women based on if she was kind compassionate smart and intelligent. They knew looks could and would change. She might've been a little thicker around the middle or thicker thighs, but she knew how to run a house. She wasn't busy working hard and showing off at the workplace and lazy at home. She Took care of home and the children and very well. Not only were they taught in school she taught them things at home. Upstanding and righteous morals and values. To be honest, I don't see that much today. I'm not saying looks aren't important and good sex isn't meaningful, but mature wise men know how to spot a mature wise woman. Why are there so many (fine) brothers and sisters in divorce court??
@@beautytyc7 yeah although you do have a few points and where you live can shape your mindset so I'm not knocking it but in general a man wants his women to look good as men are very visual. Honestly someone staying married and not being in divorce court isn't always because they have a healthy, holy marriage. Every man and every women is indeed different and have different wants and needs but I stand on what I have said even from listening to Tony men are visual so build your body, brand and business! Yes cook and keep yourself children and home together. We're not gonna base a full gender on men on just the confines of the south as we do tend to eat more unhealthy, well seasoned food on this side, my point is most men of you do a survey would prefer an inshape, beautiful(inside and out), cooperative and loving women but attraction is what draws a man to you and blacks are the main race who don't take our health seriously because most races with different ethnic women you will see keep their figure event after baby. Some don't but majority do.
Thank you for sharing God bless you Tony 🙏😀
Hey Tony! That million dollar question🧐
Might I add there is a difference between being visual and vs lustful and someone with a wondering eye... but that's a whole nother subject 😌
Thank You so much for this candid approach to how men really are. You just eased my mind on this subject.
I definitely agree with everything you’re saying!
Tony we love you,brother.
When my fiancé first asked me out I asked him why he wants to go out with my and the first word he said was beautiful, he now says that I was already a wife before we met, and I continue to show him that I was a wife 🥹
Amazing message
Truth !!
ThanK GOD 👏🏼👏🏼 I'm BlesSed 👏🏼👏🏼
ShaloM ✌🏼✝️🎊
I seen different men like different things from woman.
Thanks for this. It's all very true....
Man this video is straight facts 💯. I’m currently going through this right now and it sucks. I’ve been dating a women for 3 years now and I’m a male that loves women that at-least try to go to the gym and take care. But over the years my current GF is over weight. She loving, ambitious, and has all the other qualities I want. But because of social media you see all these fit female influencers and it’s hard not to want a women that physically looks great. I get it a lot of men in relationships let themselves go. I’m just talking about us men that prioritize fitness in our life.
The sad thing is this I dated a man that was 5'10 and maybe 25 pounds over weight and he had a problem with me because I'm over weight and I'm 4'11. The problem being he was taking blood pressure medicine, gerd meds, depression medications so in my mind he was very unhealthy on the inside and to add if he was stressed out he would lose his hair.
I respect that. You have to be physically attracted to your partner. Cheers
09:40 I have had men say this to me because of my looks and body all my life. I am highly educated men will not ask what I do but overly focus on my face or stare. I had men tell me they wanted to talk to me because of how I look. Plus women have told me they became my friends to go out and hang with me to meet guys. That is discouraging when trying to meet female friends.
@@LA-wv7gf One of my friends told me this after we hung out she became upset and would point out men that was looking at me. Some would be single some not and say she was invisible. She was mad and did not hang out with me again. Another girl came up t me and was like we should hang out to meet guys. Another. Friends just told me that while eating out. Another friend took pictures of me while i was not looking and went to get a BBL and used my pictures as reference and confessed it to me later. It makes me question why people are talking to me.
@@arandaholley1719 it sounds like you need to change your circle. I’m an introvert and deep thinker, and desire deeper connections; so I would have been distance myself from them. You have to make friends who are “like-minded”, and have things in common with.
@@honeywest39j95 Oh I did. People like that fall off anyway.
Character is most important as we will all age one day
I love your advice great advice ❤
🙏🏼listening 😁
I’m sorry but I don’t think men marry off looks, from what I’ve seen it’s chemistry that leads to that. Men sleep with good looking women and cheat or dog them all the time
Men definitely are about looks first, for the most part. He isn’t the only man to say this. Every man I know said this and other men I watch on here. They have to be attractive to you in that way, or really they ain’t making that move.
@@dejanae7336 I believe attraction and looks is the main component in a man sleeping with you, but I do not believe that’s the main reason they’ll marry you. Look at T.I (the rapper) and Tiny ……….. it’s chemistry and how they get along that pushed him to marry her. 9 times out of 10, men would say tiny isn’t attractive
Alright. Let me start working out. 🙄
For most men it’s a visual thing. ..,If it’s not looks…. He gets to know her in a real way.” TG
People like what appeals to them... imagine that 🤷🏾♀️
Sadly a woman can have everything going on for herself from the independency to the looks and still get passed over for her skin tone, hair texture, etc...just be honest about it...🙄
Normalise not being someone’s type. Go for the men that you want and want you back. If they don’t want you don’t don’t want them. Next.
colorism, texturism due to internalized racism
What’s the difference between “cute” and “gorgeous”?? Someone that’s “cute” to one
Person could be completely gorgeous to 10 others
It is what it is. I already knew. Since I’m not entertaining bums anymore and been abstinent & single for over 3 years, I guess that’ll continue for the rest of my lifetime. Unless I work extra hard to slim down again & fix myself up like a model daily even tho I’m low-maintenance 😕
Well that's good if want look your best but only good man any woman will get is a man after God own heart if he not saved you're going have problems
@@fredajohnson506 Yup that too. First and foremost, I want a man who is saved and continuously seeks the Lord 🙏🏾
@@fredajohnson506 But Tony spent the majority of his video talking about how men go by appearances first and rarely go past it, so hey 🤷🏾♀️
TG..look like the workouts maybe paying off..keep gettin them work outs in and holdin' off on dat Popeyes..🤣🤣. And gone and try some of them intense workout sessions the Queen be doing....
Looks fade. U need substance inside to keep u connected.
"Stomachable" Facts!🤣
Expectant 💪🏾💪🏾
Greetings brother!!!
Really interesting, but I'm curious about this as I spent most of my life being told they weren't interested in anything serious because I was too nice. What about the nice girl syndrome and how does that factor in to how they see you? Really enjoy all your perspectives!
Too nice is code word for lacking boundaries. Chole has videos on this topic so does Mindful Attraction 2.0
Only if he’s Christlike and marriage minded, does it really matters. I agree with attraction from a human perspective, but there’s a lot to the game.
WELL TO ME IF A MAN CAN'T APPRECIATE YOU AT YOUR WORST THEN YOU DONT NEED HIM. BECAUSE I BET IF HE FOUND OUT HER NETWORTH TO BE A HIGH VALUE NUMBER, HE WOULD OVERLOOK HER WEIGHT ETC. ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK !!!😮
Ive been young slim confident inside & out; young , slim & insecure after the fact: also been fat (or so i thought) & insecure , and also fat & now Not insecure cause i went within & Sought HS opinion & revelation on it from inside out. Ive not dated or anything 15+ years & abstinent 12 yrs. I "assumed" on & off that it was because of me physically until my late.30s. I really dont know where i stand in others eyes at this point. Im 55 & white. Re learning men in my homestate after 25-35 years. I finally got off the detoured path i took unconditionally because of that assumption in 1982! Id adoptedca wayvof internalized thinking. I want to do the work for the body..but i feel like i confirmed info & now know too much!! Thanks to TG! LOL
I need a one on one.
Hmmm... I wonder what I'm doing wrong. I seem to only attract guys that I'm not attracted to and old men.... or at least these are the men who approach me the most. 🤔
She is a commodity to the relationship
Men want a woman to take care of her body and women want men to take care of their emotions
I see alot of men that 'present' well but it is just a facade
Surface level
Good video
Wow so mainly looks
Hello Mr Gaskins 😊😊💙💙
I'm the first comment heeeey Tony Big Brother!!!