*To everyone, remember this:* Having a small group of friends that really care about you is way better than having so many friends that don't care about you.
1. the friend who always needs something - true friendships involve mutual interest - only looking for something when they need something and not being reciprocated - they only take from you 2. the friend who gaslights you - constantly blaming you when something bad happens in the relationship - they only say they care for you as a way to gaslight you 3. the friend who never reaches out to you - one sided relationships - it feels like they’re doing you a favor when they reply - they make you feel underappreciated 4. the friend who only talks about themselves - your conversations with your friends get turned around and ends up being about them - you end up being the friend listening to their problem instead - you always give them your time and attention 5. the friend who always talks down on you - makes you feel inferior constantly - they brag
I have this friend in college who constantly asked for everything, whether it be my papers, homeworks, notes, etc. At first, I shared them out of pity with him because he’s academically lacking… until I found him hanging out with his friends the night before a homework was due, and sure enough he came to me for answers because he didn’t have time to do them. I eventually lost my pity for him, plus I realised he wasn’t going to change if I keep ‘helping’ him this way. So when he asked me for help again… I told him the homework is easy and it’s not necessary for me to help something so simple. That’s when he exploded lol. He said “you should’ve straight up tell me if you didn’t want to help. No need to start bitching about it. You aren’t the only person I’ve asked help from.” that was when I got so heartbroken and upset. I’ve helped him more than 30 times in less than one semester, and the moment I refuse to give help. he lased out and called me bitching. Shouldn’t I be the one who’s angry? For bothering me so much and taking advantage of me without giving me ANYTHING in return. I SHOULD BE THE ONE BEING ANGRY. Then I stopped replying to him at all. Didn’t talk to him til now. A few weeks ago, he chatted with my close friend and asked why I keep distancing him. He told my friend that he didn’t expect me to be upset this long for such a simple fight. This part made me really angry because it was NEVER simple. How easy is it for him to call someone “bitching” and expect her to forgive him the next day? I’m just an engineering student in this man-dominated field, trying to survive threats here and there by doing the best I can so my peers don’t look down on me. Yet I was degraded as a bitch for this. Know I know why men label women as sensitive. They say the most hurtful, disgusting thing to women, and think their words don’t matter at all. He tried to talk to me last week. I guess it’s because he misses the homework answers I gave him. But I avoided him because I no longer want to be associated with that beast anymore. I’ve never felt so happy after cutting him off. Best decision ever. He has to repeat all major classes because he faildd. I’m not saying I’m happy, but I’m satisfied karma has done their job. Thank you for reading. I just need a place to vent. After all these months, I still cry after reading the “bitch” text til now… lol
I don’t think I have any toxic friends, but this video WAS extremely helpful - cuz it’s taught me what exactly not to do in order to ensure that I never become toxic toward others 😅❤️
Summary: 1. The friend who always need something (will reach out to you only when there is a need). 2. The friend who Gaslights you. 3. The friend who never reaches out to you. 4. They always talk about themselves. 5. The friend who always talk down on you. In this quarantine time, I have realised true friends and family who will be there for me in my hard times. Finally, I found I'll be the only person who is going to be with me no matter what happens.
Thank you! (A bit of a story but more of a vent-) There were a few months when my two best friends always asked me for help and rarely messaged me when they didn’t need it. Dean would still ask me how I was doing and reply to most of my messages but he always said goodbye when his girlfriend (my other best friend) was online but it was still understandable. They were a couple and they liked each other a lot, so of course he’d choose to talk to his girlfriend. I always knew his girlfriends were very important to him, I knew he’d choose them over a friend so I wasn’t surprised. My other best friend pretty much never reached out to me unless I messaged her first, she would often ignore my messages and leave them on read until she was finished playing a game or playing with her friends. She was having a tough time at home so I did try to be understanding but it went on for months. One day, I just had it. I joined her and tried to talk to her again like we used to, Dean and her friend Luna was there too so I private messaged her. I tried to spark a conversation with her but after a few minutes, it was a little too obvious that she didn’t want to talk so I left. I waited for a little while afterwards but she didn’t message me at all and that’s when I got mad. I was never a patient person but this time, I think I can say at least I tried. I unfriended her on a whim (not really a whim) and unfriended Dean too, I was quite sure he’d add us in a group chat and ask me why I unfriended her. I hated confrontation and thought about talking to them again after things cool down a bit but a few days later, I checked and neither of them tried to reach out. I think that’s when it hit me but ‘Maybe I was the only one thinking we were best friends after all…’ It was honestly hard and I came to regret my decision. I would rather they ignore me than to lose them completely but I didn’t reach out either, a part of me was mad that our years and months together meant so little to them. Luckily I still had my brother and sister so I gamed with my brother on a daily basis. I knew it wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t a good habit to have but I spent a lot of time with him. When he was busy, I’d get him gifts in a game and when he wasn’t busy, we’d play and talk all day, that went on for months. I honestly didn’t miss my best friends much, my brother never asked about them either. Lately I reached out to them, it’s been a year and I think I owe Dean an apology. I hate to say it but I also owe my other ‘best friend’ an apology for leaving, I don’t think I’ll talk to her much though. Dean and her broke up so there isn’t much reason for me to talk to her unless she’s having a really hard time. Well it’s not really my problem now since we aren’t even friends, is it? Still I don’t hate or dislike Dean, I hope I can talk to him a few times every week. He used to help me and I used to help him, I really enjoy being with Dean. I met Dean much earlier than I met her so we were also much closer in my opinion. I’m planning on sending her a few messages at first and one conversation every month or two, I’m quite happy with my life, honest. My brother and I aren’t too close right now because of a mistake I made but I hope to make it up to him and thank him. He’s always been there for me and he’s always helping me out, I owe him a lot. I also hurt him for a year because of my stupid mistake but I’m hoping to fix it, he isn’t someone I’ll let go of unless he doesn’t want me anymore. - Wednesday 18 August 2021
Same. I don’t think I am as toxic as before, but I know I am always talking about myself because I’m so overwhelmed with everything that is going on and I need support. I already see a therapist and I am on meds, but sometimes I get so depressed I need someone to talk to. Sometimes I just want to go out and grab some food or a drink, just get out of my head, but I feel like I’m the only person who is always the one who is setting up plans to hang out and that makes me feel lonely too.
Same. I feel like I make everything about myself and talk about myself but I give good comfort apparently or at least that's what my friends say. I'm so confused and trying everything to stop talking about myself as much
Does anyone else feel quite sad when you can’t really find some loyal, trustworthy, or simply just someone you can count on when you’re in your lowest times type of in real life friends? So instead what you decided to do is to try finding some online and not that they’re “bad” or anything, in fact, there are lots of great people online. However the thing is you just don’t get the same feelings when talking to people online, rather than irl friends?
Exactly my point.. My best friend has betrayed me several times so she will never be able to fill this gap of trust she lost because there is always this fear that she will do it again. With online friends you can exchange topics and identify. However you will always want them to be physically next to you
@@lastofthefamous2542 Which is a shame. I believe its worth getting therapist help just to regain trust (for other people), life will definitely be worse if you cannot trust and build relationships.
Just want to say before you stop being friends with anyone: in my opinion you should 100% talk to them first before making a move. This gives you both the opportunity to work things out and understand why they do the things they do I believe. Edit: I would like to also mention how sometimes it is not a good idea to give someone a chance based on the circumstances. Such as them not willing to listen or comply with the chance you give them. But it's still not a horrible idea to give everyone a second chance as long as they don't take it for granted.
Absolutely! I speak from hard experience, because I give people plenty of slack from the beginning. If they make a mistake or two I might help them untangle things, or give more slack so they can figure it out for themselves. This can go on for years, or it can be over fairly quickly, though I totally understand the phrase, "give enough slack to hang themselves with" because the truly unworthy person will. At some point it's just unworkable anymore, and they usually know it at least as well as I do by then.
I got gaslighted and blocked lmao after multiple tries at that “stop questioning my loyalty” she said after I addressed her literally talking crap about me with literal proof smh I shoulda just ended the friendship. We’re adults btw.
Why go through even more drama. Its better to just up and go an never explain what happened. Because youll only help them hide how toxic they are because they will learn what drove you away. Its better to let them figure it out if they ever do. Just focus on you. They don't care about your feelings.
Your solutions to these issues are to just stop being their friend? It would definitely help to communicate how you're feeling before you just abandon the friendship
Yessir that’s a good quote imma keep that, I live by “give respect to earn respect and that goes the same way with disrespect”, this can be applied to many different things I use to decide how I feel about a person and what they’re on
This absolutely a thousand times over. I've recently been ghosted by a friend for over a month now even though our prior conversation was completely normal. Now im just left in the dark and don't even know if we're still friends
@@pringu6216 Just go and get your tasks done first bruh . Nobody wants a dude who procastrinates a lot and is a nervous wreck as their friend for real . Be positive and responsible and you get and maintain friendships ez
I think when we get older we start to realize the people we thought we needed in our life or the people who added value to our lives changes. It's ok to shed those relationships and let them be what they were remember that it's up to you for personal growth. I have very few friends because of this and say it leaves me open to explore a relationship withyself and live an honest life with myself because thats what I value. Don't settle in relationships because there are really good people out there who want to grow along side of you
"The friend who never reaches out to you" I can't cut relationship with them, because that kind of friend is me. That why I don't want any friend I don't want to hurt them.
I relate. I'm the friend in number 3 who doesn't fill in as they should. I've just gotten sick of constantly dealing with the mental issues that I just can't anymore. Now she keeps trying to uphold our friendship but I'm just too exhausted. I do try to reply to her but it's just getting harder. Her situation at home in a way is similar to mine, but we are so different. It's hard to talk normally when we don't even have the same belief, or when the only thing we can talk about is our issues.
Same. For the longest time I've been the emotional support system of my friends, trying my best to talk them out of su!c!d3, making sure they don't harm themselves, get themselves into trouble and making sure they eat well. But they rarely take the time to ask how I'm feeling, or if I'm doing okay. It just mentally drains me, so I end up turning off my notifications on everything and ghosting everyone. It makes me feel bad because there are friends that have gone above and beyond for me, and those are the type of people I want in my life for a long time. But I just can't deal with people who dump all their problems onto me without offering help when I need it.
Same, I felt very called out by that one. But I think the important thing is if you struggle to reach out to your friends because of anxiety or other metal health issues you just need to show you appreciate them for being the one to reach out. Let them know that *they're* doing *you* a favor and not the other way around.
im pretty sure im the friend who always talks about myself. my friend tried to vent to me and i end up venting to her. i kind of hate that about me- but shes quite toxic- she only texts me when she needs something, or when she wants to vent- never any other time. i always have to ask to hang out or else its silence in our chat- even when i go over- which was once every day of my life- she just plays on her phone. no attention towards me. she ignores me half the time too. ive learnt to try and keep my feelings to myself away from her cause she tends to use that against me. but i do always end up venting to her when she wants to talk cause i feel like thats the only change i could ever get to vent to someone i couldve trusted- until i found out she was extremely toxic.
This video reminds me of when I wasn't self-aware of the way I treated my friends until my friend brought it up. I love watching these videos help me be more mindful of my actions and the things I can improve myself of. ❤ ( I love your cotent!! )
You don't have friends How lucky .. Actually you don't need them,bc they just want to be with you for some reason,they don't want to be with you bc they're interested in you or like you,in my opinion,the life that you have without friends is the best life that anny one can have,if you see the other people happy with their friends,they are just acting to be good person is the others mind so if you are searching for a friend,you should stop and come back to your room to watch memes like me:-) I wrote a lot right sorry for that...
I'd like to say that usually cutting your friends off immediately is a bad idea. Sometimes, you should confront them about it first. They might not realize that they're doing it, and you might actually help them out by pushing them to be a better friend. If they refuse to grow, THEN you can cut them off, and only after they start trying to improve themselves should you give them a second chance.
I've always expressed but there are 4 and 5 and 3 and the one who needs something and they've apologized and came back and I've completely just distanced myself because it hurts me and i have another who act likes she benefiting me and idk man i rather just stay to myself, she just always talking bout her problems and i give her advice and she doesn't take it at all just wants me to feel bad and like its to draining to deal with anymore i wish her the best
@@drunknown422 because if you made those mistakes, you would want one. One of the things that makes "villains" is people lacking the capacity to forgive You don't have to if you don't want to, but that is my personal philosophy
@@WonToTwee yes, I have this friend who always talks behind people's backs and makes remarks, I know she had a lot of things that going on for her but it's still no excuse to how she acts, she also talks down to someone I really care about, so I'm going to try to confront her about it soon, if not, then it's okay I'm not going to the same high school as her anyways
You're better off having just people you know and not having solid friends you'll only get hurt in the end .Don't expect anything from anyone and you'll never be disappointed.
I've had tons.of friendships that ended badly. Too many. Mostly because I never left when I saw red-flags. I was loyal, attentive, selfless, and above all else made an effort. But unfortunately plenty of people do not understand these qualities within someone and will take your kindness for weakness. Nearly everytime. And worst of all, give you excuses when they don't adhere to their own word. Personally, if I were to offer any advice to anyone it's this -- Don't expect perfection but expect to be treated the way you treat them, and if they don't, won't, or can't, they aren't a true friend. Period. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME! Life is too short to put your all into the kinda, sorta, maybe people who don't see your worth and treat you the way you deserve. So you have to find the ones that do. And they're out there, unfortunately you just have to get through the shit before you find the gold. But when you do, it'll be the true friends who treat you the way you deserve and will never take you for granted. Then it'll all be worth it. Trust me.
Well, my “best-friend” and I were keeping a nice relationship but just a few weeks ago she stopped talking, only sometimes. she always cancel plans and now we only text if it’s for schoolwork. It’s mostly like 95% school and 5% actually talking to eachother. But now she’s trying to cut me off for even for school, like for example I asked her a question and wondered if she could help me , normally she’s always here to help but she said she isn’t want to help me without any reason. We keep getting distant, and idk what to do.
Tbh if i make more friends i would usually be happy and just feel like i own the world but ofc alot of friends meaning that imposters having a chance to hide in every corner
0:56- The friend who always needs something 2:03- The friend who gas lights you 2:38- The friend who never reaches out to you 3:17- The friend who talk always about themselves 3:58- The friend who talks down on you
Please don’t be one of those people who falsely accuses all of their friends as being one of these stereotypes. We know it happened to at least one person who watched this, haha
I have only had 2 or 3 friends who check all these boxes, and I think none of them are close friends anymore. One still sends out feelers from time to time, though I think he understands by now that I've had enough.
After I talked to my best friend about quitting the therapist friend role, she accused me For making her depression 170% when she hasn’t been diagnosed, she made excuses like “Serious talks make my depression big” When she put me in lots of drama, stress, lots of venting, and made me Neglect my mental health I just wish breaking a friendship with your cousin was so easy
Algorithm needs subscription,don't be friends with the needy,it's about give and take, you need to make an effort, selfish one-sided relationship isn't appreciated⛔
@UCybVYmRe4TahgWwR0AvjW3A this reminded me of the time i was depressed and i had a therapist friend, after she wanted to quit i was a fuking prick to her and i still regret what i said to her, that drove me to talk to a professional but i still feel bad about it after all this time
I feel bad because I was the toxic friend.. and I did not realize it until it was too late. I was the type 2 friend who blames her friends whenever there is a problem in the relationship, and I always made them feel that I had a preference over them and that they needed me and that I could abandon them and I did not need them and I do not know if my best friend is upset about this because our friendship lasted 4 years, but in the fourth year we no longer talked much because we were not in the same class and because the sideburns had ended and we no longer had anything to talk about. Now we do not talk at all because she found friends who are more suitable for her. In fact, I am happy for her because she was the reason for my happiness and she did not abandon me and tolerated me for 4 years and she loved me and I do too and I hope we can be friends again to show her that I have improved
i just realized that i am the fourthy type of toxic friend, but i just dont really care because i am so pride so it can be hard for me to have some good relationships
Some nuances to consider! On never reaching out: Sometimes people isolate due to mental illness or addiction. Always keep this in mind, some folks aren't trying to put the responsibility on you, they're just struggling. On making things about themselves: neurodivergent people often relate to others by bringing up personal experience to show they understand! It's not always an attempt at monopolizing a conversation. Just a reminder to give people space to be human, not everything fits in neat, clear-cut boxes!
@@AwesomeRace7 The definition on google says, "Differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal (frequently used with reference to autistic spectrum disorders); not neurotypical." Other psychological disorders are considered neurodivergent as well outside of ASD, but that's what's usually being referred to :)
I can personally relate to this. As much as I hate it, it's not like I don't have time for the people I rarely contact. It's more of a feeling that they don't want to talk to me, and not wanting to bother them in their world.
you know what... *I don't need friends, they disappoint me* but whoever realized your one of the top above. It's okay being self aware is the number 1 step to change your ways and actions we're all human.
The worst part about this would be someone who constantly talks about themselves, ask only for your help and doesn't invite you for any good moment whatsoever BUT COMES HERE and say that you're someone who's talking down when you highlight what they do. That is Gaslighting at its finest ladies and gentlemen.
As someone who is autistic and has ADHD i personally struggle with a few of these. I accidentally end up sending full on books about my day because every little thing is interesting to me. I feel so bad about it and my friends definitely hate it and so I try to stop as much as possible. I also end up turning things around accidentally making them about me. I hate to admit it but I've definitely been guilty of it. It definitely hurts to know that i could be considered toxic but it's also a good thing for me to try and change!
That’s not your fault! You should sit down with your friends at a time they aren’t venting to you, and explain and apologise. If they are good friends, they will understand. 🙃
Same!! I like to talk to people about my recent hyper fixations and stuff cause i like sharing about my life but I'm worried I might be making it too much about me and not enough about them.
@@chaoticfroggo6852 I've been struggling with trust issues. My friends are not nice they're accusing me. They got mad at me for not going bowling. It's all my fault that I fell asleep.
@@chaoticfroggo6852 this guy was falling in love with me had a crush on me. Unfortunately I have no romantic feelings for him I didn't feel the same way at all. I was just looking to have friends. And he message me out of the blue I'm done trying to be your friend I offer you to come bowling with me and you never showed up so I'm done trying to be. It's all my body's fault for falling asleep I didn't think I was going to get in trouble I hate my life
@@doritodiamond1201 I honestly do understand thinking yourself is annoying or something and wanting to change but not because it has gotten into a habit or smth. You can break the habit if that's the case for you, I believe in you. I'm sorry you got into a toxic relationship tho
I just got out of a toxic bestie situation.we used to be extremely close but would often get into fights when I felt like I was being ignored and forgotten. I used to be naive. For 4 years I was made to believe I am immature and incapable of selfless love. I failed to recognise the countless other people who were there for me. She abandoned me the moment she got a bf. I broke. I'm in my healing period now but realised. She was everything this video spoke about. Made me realise how foolish I was to stay when everyone I knew told me they were tired of seeing me depressed and used. Pretty much venting in public right now. But learning to let go. That's a very important lesson I hope people learn without it destroying them.
@@zzthology his character on the Dream SMP, which stands for Survival Multiplayer (not the content creator himself) has had a story arc where he manipulated an exiled character
Used to have “friends” that were so mean to me that I didn’t understand how a real friendship was supposed to feel like. Looking back, they weren’t even my friends, they were literal bullies. Talking down on me, never including me, constantly ignoring me, making fun of me, laughing at me, constantly pointing out my flaws and more. Hell, one of them even told me that she would become very happy if I died as a “joke”. They both left me scarred for life. I’ll never forgive them for that.
I was in that exact situation for quite awhile. You get so used to their abusive behavior towards you that you think it’s normal. When someone actually treats you with respect and dignity, it kind of throws you off at first and you don’t know what to make of it.
wow i now realized that they were so abusive to me and i thought its a normal thing... would be kinda great if i had a friend who actually treats me with respect and sees me as a friend as well😑
@@captaineasychord1 that exact thing just happened to me in highschool a month or two ago. My introverted ass was just sitting on my phone in the cafeteria when out of nowhere this random kid I've never seen before introduced himself to me and I end up having a conversation with everyone around me before class eventually starts. Now I sit at the table with some of the people I met that day. Though I have yet to see the first kid again.
I’ve been a terrible friend. I’ve mistreated my friends just this year and I kept on messing up because I never realized how toxic I was until now. Now I’ve started to improve but I think almost all of them are giving up on me- they think I’ll never change. They all doubt me
At least you've acknowledged your toxicity and now doing what you can to improve yourself, maybe, the new friends that you'll make will see the better you
If you realized your mistake and are sorry for that, they your are good human. It's okay to make mistakes but the important thing is to realize it and make yourself better tomorrow. Keep on improving 👍
Dude, what you just said right now is amazing, continue on your efforts with that will to change and you won't have to worry about that too much in the future, it's really cool to see someone saying how they were wrong and wanna change for the better ^^
Same as me I have realised thing after I saw this video so I will try to be better . Well............ I am an introvert so I have no Idea how to strike a conversation. It becomes VERY AWKWARD 😅🥺😭
1. The friend who always needs something. The friend who only talks to you when they need something from you. 2.The friend who Gaslights you. Manipulater 3.The friend who never reaches out to you. Doesn't care! Doesn't care to Even reaches out. 4.The friend who always talks about themselves. Self centered and doesn't really care about you. 5.The friend who always talks down on you. Is either full of envy and just wants to feed their ego
I have a cousin that always talks about themselves, but since they have a sister who are always are on their side, I don’t even have the guts to Edit: she always interrupts me and then talks about herself. But she says sorry, so idk if she’s really self centered
My advice to anyone here is never let anyone walk over your boundaries, if someone doesn't want to be there for you in the good and bad times, try not to let them have full access to you. What I learned is you are the main character in your life and for most people, you are no more than background or side character, sometimes the antagonist. Put yourself first and trust your gut, if you feel a friendship is too transactional, walk away if that's the best move for you.
Another really toxic type is the gossiper: Someone who calls me his "girl best friend" (which he don't is to me but that's a diffrent story) wanted to force me to unfriend a girl just because she rejected his best friend. I ended up lying that I would do it but I'm still friends with her till today
@@kelechi9854 As I said we talked this out about half a year afterwards. I explained him how I felt back then and he at least seemed to understand my position (even though I have my doubts on how empathic he actually is but that's a diffrent story). While he didn't put me in such a situation again deep down inside I can't guarantee myself that it won't happen again. As already said I'm still friends with that girl. It's kinda one of these open secrets
Uff I’m the third one, never reaching out- I just assume I’m not fun to be around so I just separate myself from them; I don’t mean to hurt them in any way at all, just been in a weird mood lately which causes me to cut off contact with so many people. Thank you for the video though, I hope to improve myself to become a better friend
I am experiencing the complete opposite... There's this friend that I really care about because we've been through things for like 2 years now but it has never been this bad. Trying to reach out only to get one reply and afterwards I get ghosted, it's not like I don't want to talk with them but if they can't even reply me when I am trying to initiate a conversation just makes me feel unwanted and wondering why I even bother in the first place :/ Not sure how to fix that though.
I have a neighbour who moved into the flat below me a year ago. I've started noticing a pattern where I'm happy to help them out with basic necessities here & and there. I'm instinctively kind & if I have plenty when they have nothing, I'm happy to help out or share what I have without needing to be asked. But they only really ever do the bare minimum for me & make it out that it was a real struggle to do even that. I brought it up with them & they got really defensive about it & started to gaslight me! Needless to say, I've got no further intentions to be anywhere near as forthcoming and helpful as I have been. From now on, I only have enough for myself! It's sad that people are so shortsighted & selfish, but c'est la vie! 😂❤
I've had a friend who was Toxic anytime I stood up for myself or said I didn't like something, she'd just turn around and say I did the same thing, I always felt like I had to walk on eggshells around her, for instance, If I said something even playfully that she didn't like she would just get up and leave, I was always there for her, and I'm not saying I'm completely blameless but it always felt unfair and unbalanced, she told me sorry a handful of times and made fun of me.
@@BrooklynJewel if you don't feel completely loved, even through hard times, it may be time to let go of this friend and make sure you're being the type of friend you wanna be. Then look for the awesome, caring, giving friends you deserve!
@@semicharmedlizzy aww thank you, I have cut ties with her and have made it clear that if she wants to be friends she's ganna have to make an effort, and she hasn't so I'm done.
1. 0:56 The friend who always needs something 2. 2:03 The friend you gas lights you 3. 2:40 The friend who never reaches out to you 4. 3:19 The friend who always talks about themselves 5. 3:58 The friend who always talks down on you.
5. Is basically my 2 "friends", i have 2 so called friends that always tells me stuff when i do something that they don't agree with they either tell me im stupid or dumb a noob or a idiot if i share a opinon that i basically don't know would make them mad they would get mad at me and say stuff to me the thing is im still friends with them idk why i just can't let go of them one day they would be nice and chill and next day they are suddenly rude and mean its a whole scramble of emotions and they always pass it off as a "good sign of friendship" seriously they think calling their friend mean stuff is "good" and funny, i want to look for advice on any of you im not sure if i should let go of them both or still be with them or maybe even confront them, i already tried to confront both of them but most of the time my anxiety would kick in and i would basically feel weak and numb, i also wanna mention that both of them are bff's so they treat me as some kind of outcast in their friendship that they could yell their emotions at, its so confusing since both of them would be chill when i do something they are comfortable with and are interested in and suddenly when i say or send something that i didnt even know is "offensive" to them" they would insult me and sometimes even swear at me, its a mix of emotions and im looking forward to hearing what you guys think i should do
@@vidhaansharma1615 I mean with number four, people can talk about themselves and not notice it much. Communication is the key ig. While full on gas lighting and talking down to someone in a not so joking way is a bit more concerning
1.) Always needs something (never give back) 2.) Gaslights you (constantly blames you) 3.) Never reaches out to you (you keep maintaining the relationship) 4.) Always talks about themselves (always end up being about themselves) 5.) Ways talks down to you (goes out of their way to make you feel lesser)
Ye all these things are happening to me rn and im fukin broked up ... i dont have any friends man ... thing to remember-only friend of yours is your family , tell them the things instead of sharing it to the anonymous
(edited 6/8) two months ago, i wrote how i felt like my friends ignored me and i overall just had a one-sided relationship. to those who have felt similar, i’ve found some helpful information that may lift your spirits :) ❤️ there are people who will be your friend but eventually they may turn toxic. yes, this is an unhealthy relationship. if you are afraid to cut ties with a toxic friend because it may hurt them, chances are, it’s hurting you more. do not be afraid to cut ties; you are not responsible for anyones happiness. ❤️ attempt to engage your buddies with conversations and activities. you’ll know who your real friends are if they truly care about you. if they are fake, i promise it’s better off to take time alone with yourself. ❤️ don’t jump to conclusions. as harsh as it sounds, you might not consider what’s happening in another persons head. they may not even know you feel left out. should this be the case, let them know how you feel. ❤️ remember to love yourself. despite what others may tell you (or what you tell yourself) you are human. someone will always care. hope this helped :)
Well, your not the only one. I had a friend i knew for over 10 years when we outgrow each other. He became pretty toxic and selfish and once i had enough of this behavior and asked why am i deserving this, it was lots of talk talk talk to make it ok.. again. This continued for a couple more years till i really had enough of these lies. I rather to be alone now instead of being with him again.
ADHD with serious friendship dysfunction here. The best thing about friendships, is unlike relationships, you aren't a cheater for looking for better choices while still keeping the crappy ones you have. Go for it!
If the person you bound yourself to is doing everything to pull you both down, cut that bind. Nothing kills you more than keeping an ungrateful brat afloat.
U know what I have a friend my best friend actually we have been friends since preschool and when I saw number 4 it made me realize that they (she is gender fluid) do that to me all the time like when I would try talking about how I found out that my dad tried kidnapping me more than once (I live in weitchpec Hoopa California so it's not like out in the cities) when I was little and that I might just have some undiscovered trauma from the experience she cut me off and started talking about who bad her relationship with her dad was (still talks about it to this day she just uses him for money as he has nothing else to give her) and it made me upset but I am what my friends call "the pink unicorn" of the group so I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I just listened, she also hits me ever time I see her (like she slaps me in the face or kicks me she can't scratch me right know she doesn't have fingernails) but that's just how she is my other friends tell me she isn't nice but it's always been like this she hits me, bites our child (we like to say we adopted my fav cousin) and I help her through everything but don't get it wrong she does contribute to our relationship she tells me not to do drugs or smoke or any of that stuff. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that she is supposed to be moving soon and she seems to be getting more distant from me ever since we came back from home studies so I can understand were your coming from and I hope u can try to either fix your friendship or find someone who actually cares 😁
Those are all good. But before making something drastic make sure it's actually not miscommunication. Like the friend bragging about the promotion. Are you simply misinterpreted it as so or receive when it's actually just the way of the friend to express itself. I am not saying it's always is, but sometimes confronting the problem first by sitting down and talking about what hurt you, can change Toxic relationship into good ones. Nobody is perfect and there is a chance that without knowing you yourself will hurt people you care about down the road. It doesn't make you a bad person but this is a reason we should all be a bit indulgent with one another. Now that said, if communication was done. If things were talk about and the person either do it again callously or disrespect even your feelings of the exposed situation...yeah drop that friend ! Cause it never was a friend to begin with and YOU ARE WORTH MORE !!!
1 - The friend who always needs something: ...good thing covid came 2 - The friend who gas lights you: manipulating a person...good thing I know his a narcissist 3 - The friend who never reaches out to you: one-sided investment...I mean it can change, right? 4 - The friend who always talk about themselves: I mean she's a good friend, you know? I get to practice counselling and my patience ^ w ^ 5 - The friend who always talks down on you: nope, never met one, sounds like an a**
@@gigimargal9234 omg it's the same thing for me too. It's really annoying bc she don't care about me at all. And she's here like give me something and after that she don't want to talk to me. And when i ask her she said that what i'm doing for her was nothing
6. A friend who constantly tries to monopolise or ruin your relationships “Does your friend always seem to ask personal questions about your relationship to your partner but not you, do they do everything they can to convince your partner they should get with someone else simply because they can’t stand to see you happy, chances are they doing this because they aren’t happy with themselves and are looking for a way to air off their own insecurities that they deny to themselves, so if you have a friend that consistently goes behind your back whenever your out with your partner and tries to get them with anyone but you then it’s time to draw the line and cut those toxic friends out of your life for good”.
@@flameyt4149 no by partner I mean someone who I’m in a relationship with but people who I thought were friends will ask personal questions and try to get them with someone else when I’ve done nothing to them so fed up with it and don’t really hang with them anymore it’s the reason why I don’t have friends coz I only trust my partner no else
I definitely used to be this kind of person a few years back. But I grew as a person and no longer do that kind of stuff. It’s always good to see where you have improved as a person or confess you were that person but are no longer that type
Having a friend that gaslights you is really painful, I just got out of that kind relationship and it was really tRaUmAtIzIng because, of course she was the one that ended the relationship and told everyone that I tried to sabotage her, so guys be careful who you befriend because I don’t wish anyone what I’ve been through not even to that friend because it drains all your energy and love of life, I’m still healing but now thanks to you PsychToGo I now understand how toxic of a friendship it was :)))
•Time Stamps• 0:56 - The friend who always needs something 2:03 - The friend who gaslights' you 2:38 - The friend who never reaches out to you 3:18 - The friend who always talks about themselves 3:58 - The friend who always talks down to you Remember to drink water, have a snack, go outside and that I love you
i remember having a friend that would probably have his own category here: the obsessive/pampering friend. basically, the person is pretty chill at first, and you quickly get along with each other. in fact, it's really fast how it happens, and soon enough they're already in your circle of friends. but soon it feels like the friendship's going _too_ fast and it feels off. like, it's been only a few weeks and they already want to visit your house and they always pester you about it. they also slowly start pushing you away from other friends to make more time for them. they may even start acting hostile towards you other friends and then only act kind and sweet towards you. and then before you realise it, they're already trying to insert themselves into _every single_ social situation you're in, and even start following you around (at least, with what i've experienced), and it's to the point where even thinking about their presence makes you feel uncomfortable. in some cases, they may even try to start a relationship too soon. they constantly pamper and kind of obsess over you, hence the name. i had a friend like this as a kid, who i'm gonna call V, and long story short, everything i've described above applies to his behaviour. he started the friendship way too fast and tried to cut me off from everyone, starting small with an argument between one of the my other friends to try to separate him from us. there was even an incident where i was talking with another friend privately about this situation, and i looked behind my shoulder and V was there, following us from a distance and trying to get close. we told him it was a private conversation from the get-go, but he just kept persisting. i'm glad i managed to get away from him in time before it got _really_ bad.
this used to be me in primary i didnt realise it until my friend told me about it she told me that she has her own social circle and friends, and her social circle shouldnt revolve around me only im very grateful and glad that she told me about thsi and i get to realise how bad my actions were and i feel sorry for my primary friend i no longer do this anymore :D
I was a little like this but I wasn't hostile to other people. I was glad to be able to talk to anyone else as well. I even tried to help bring a friend back into our little circle when they got into an argument because I wanted them to still be friends. I just always wanted to be with that one person because I felt safe since I was bullied a lot. I also had it stuck in my mind that being a best friend is having 1 person you always want to do everything with so that didn't help either 🤦♀️. There were a lot of red flags that should have told me to start finding other friends but I was super weird so it didn't take much for people to go from hi to oh eew go die in the corner no one wants you here. Luckily I was able to find more friends in highschool, I stopped talking to that 1 friend and I was actually able to enjoy being in school
I also had a friend like that I honestly didn't really realize that I wasn't hanging out with my other friends into it was too late, and I had no one to talk to. I'm glad you got out of that situation it's hard to get out of it.
These videos really calm me down , I enjoy listening to the message but overall it’s very calming, and sometimes it’s fun to spot out characters that I like drawn in a sketch
This channel makes me anxious about every choice I've ever made in my life... love the miku though... but now I'm stressed that I'm not cool enough to have a Miku profile pic...
@@coastaku1954 Oh, I guess I can see this I suppose this channel is a slight bit overwhelming and other thinking. YOU ARE COOL ENOUGH FOR A MIKU PROFILE PICK ANYONE CAN HAVE A MIKU PFP!
1. The friend who always needs something (0:58) 2. The friend who gaslights you (2:03) 3. The friend who never reaches out to you (2:40) 4. The friend who always talks about themselves (3:18) 5. The friend who always talks down on you (3:59) I hope this will helps ☺
I find more helpful and secure when you vent with online friends rather than irl friends, cause it's just awkward sometimes after some months when you've told something and you see them in front of you physically-
I've had one-sided friendships for years. I pulled all the weight, always was the one to reach out and ask to hang out... They haven't asked about me for ages, even now that I've stopped asking after them. I got exhausted trying to pull us together. I liked hanging with them, but it hurts, so so much, that I wasn't interesting enough for them to bother anylonger. I feel like a complete outsider. My only friends left are one who lives on the other side of the planet after moving, I can only chat with her online but maybe she'll visit this year, and then there's my best friend, the very first I made in this area. I'll just have to trust that they won't leave me like everybody else has.
Have you ever thought that they might be going through tough things at the moment and aren't mentally capable to reciprocate? Maybe your energy is off and too upbeat while they're experiencing truly trying times, and they're protecting you from their negative energy. Or they feel you wouldn't understand. You're on a psych channel, surely you understand that trauma can cause people to withdraw and lose trust in others? Of course, that's all a big if. Depends on if they're only singling you out for this, or it's been a general behaviour change.
This describes me extremely well. Most of my former friendships were one-sided. Now I only have one real friend, but she is one of the best friends I could have asked for.
Same, I always carried about friends and chatting with them, whilst quarantine was going, mostly when I texted someone I don't get responds. This was like sitting just with yourself typing to friend like 'Hey bro, wanna play some games?' and getting ignored, every day. After some time (like years) I just get used to it and start enjoying my loneliness.
@@Un1234l Oh, trust me, I'm not too upbeat. With them I'm more quiet and shy, we could laugh every now and then, sometimes a lot. I gotta say, they're a bit younger than me, they're still technically kids I think, one is probably a teen now, so they might not understand what they're doing, but I've heard and I think seen that they have other friends that they hang out with more, so it's just me they lost interest in. And it can't be just because I'm getting older (I'm 16 now), back when I was 12 and 13 they were being forgetful even then. We could still come up with things to do that are suitable for all of us, I'm not a teenager that looks down on "childish" games, but I'm not good enough. I'll get over it eventually, though.
I recently joined this friend group that i didnt wanna join in the first place but im too embarrassed to say no. I only joined their group for one person i wanted to talk to since i saw her. They make fun of me all the time making fun of anything that i do and it brings me down. I wanna get to know the girl i wanted to friend, but she is always with them, and they literally control her because she thinks they are very nice because they friend her. They were making me so uncomfortable and always told me they wanted to cheat off of me in front of me. I started talking to them less every day, and now im always sitting alone doing nothing and no one even bothers to help me. They always try to make me do their homeworks basically using me. The class basically hates me. Couldnt care less but i have been lonely for 2 years with no friends and its driving me crazy.
I feel kinda bad because I’ve been the friend who never reaches out, but it’s the anxiety and depression that make me isolate myself from everyone. The past 7 years have been tough.
Don't feel bad about not reaching out. That doesn't make you toxic. Toxic is when you take something from someone for your own benefit while hurting/ harming the giver in the proces. Have you ever harmed anyone by not reaching out? If you meet up with a friend, who has done all the 'reaching out', and you treat him like crap then yes you are a toxic person. If you don't reach out to people who are dependent on you and you are responsible for them, like your kids, yes you are toxic. If you don't reach out to someone because you are not in a place to socialize and want to protect yourself and work on yourself, how are you a toxic friend? That's bullshit. Toxic people do ghost people too, but they do it with the intention that they can't benefit from you anymore. And like the video mentioned, when they do meet up they act like they are doing you a favor. Because in their head, they don't like you and they actually do think it's a favor to meet up with you. Don't blindly believe everything that is being said. stay critical. don't even believe me. thanks for reading my long a** paragraph
i feel like sometimes i take my closest friend for granted, when i get busy i tend to forget about contacting them or just constantly putting it off to later, till i realised that my friend got really distanced from me and got hurt from my attitude of neglect, i'm trying to stop taking them for granted and to show them my appreciation for being my friend through all what we've been through.
The worst thing is that i can't say no when they need something and when i try to tell them kindly that i can't be online 24/7 and have other things to do instead of chatting all day they start gossiping and now many people hate me because of the rumors that i'm an unfriendly person who ignores texts from friends. After seeing this video and also because of this experience i don't want friends anymore. It's better to be alone.
I know your pain, They doing this make them feel better about themself using you like a string around your wrist. Grossip won't last forever till they get it or not! Types of people can do to harass you if keep going you got to use screenshots or voice recorder on phone in real life post it on social media that your a hero that is a must! Also if you proof them I guess people going be side with them then you if don't work
Those people who did this to were not your friends, but it doesn't mean you should give up on being with people. You are the main character of your life, but you need side characters as well. And the villian is also a need. Those people should know that maybe you weren't there for them 24/7, but the effort you put into being with them is incomparable. Also about the gossiping, people who gossip about you being unfriendly, must not, and will not make you unfriendly.
You’ll need to learn how to stand up for yourself and be firm while standing your ground, centered in your truth. Otherwise, you’ll notice that you fell for the bait, didn’t live out your goals and dreams, didn’t explore other opportunities and people, and you’ll die being miserable. Stop holding yourself back from growing and trying to control things such as rumours when that’s out of your control. Control yourself instead and stop trying to please others that don’t give a flying duck about you. All the best friend and I pray that the universe is with you every step of the way in life, make the right decision and grow!! Move on, everyone that talked shit about me and beloved the rumours cane back apologizing...I ignored them and set the tone once again. 27 and I’m living an amazing life😎
And also I was in the MMO gaming community group. They also can gossip, be toxic, harass me I have been kicked in the axx several times. But I keep losing interest in the things I love were started my depression. I was playing a lot of games same thing over and yeah things get worse to me. But please don't go threw like these people!
I would add a 6th category : the pushovers. People with no respect of our boundaries, always asking (or rather ordering) that we do this and that. "Answer my texts right away next time!" "We'll go see a movie this saturday don't be late! What do you mean you can't? I said we're going!" It's easy to stay with these people when we fear we would be alone and don't appreciate that. That makes us blind to these misbehaviors and we end up feeling worse everytime.
Run, run, run away from people like that!!! 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮 A true friend will not bully you into plans that they made without consulting you and will not demand that you be at their beck and call. It's better to be alone than to be with a bully.
I'm the friend who never reaches out but I'm always waiting for my friend to message first cuz if I contact her first I feel like I'm disturbing her. She likes talking about herself which I'm very comfortable with cuz it's good knowing more about your friend.
I recently found this video, and I want to say thank you for making it. I never really understood what made good friends and what didn't for the longest time, a lot of my 'friends' were a mixture of the first four, especially the gaslighting and the never reaching out. I always put so much energy into them, and the energy back was never equal or never there at all. I've been working on the good friendships I have, and retaining them, and so far my life has been getting better from it but... My issue is with people who don't reach out in return. Its hard to tell which ones really care, or truly don't care at times. I'm quite social and I know some people are a bit more introverted but some people also just don't care. That's the part where I don't know how to tell if someone is just a friend that has troubles sometimes or a friend that doesn't care.
I have a lot of one-sided relationships. I seem to be the only one putting in the effort to check in on them and see how they're doing. God, this hurts. Once I care about someone it's hard for me to NOT care.
I feel you! I think it’s okay for some friendships like if I had a deep connection with them and when we hang out we enjoy each other’s company it doesn’t bother me as much. Compared to a friend that didn’t have any deep conversations with it makes me feel used and like they don’t care. And this one friend keeps making excuses for not reaching out more and when they do it’s only about them.
I freaking swear I relate to this too much. Literally, two tears ago before the pandemic hit, I had some pretty good friends, and a really close one. I would talk to them a lot, as I had like three classes together with them, which were in order, so we had a long period of time to talk. We did argue a lot, as she was quite sensitive and I'll admit, I wasn't the nicest person back then. After the pandemic took a toll on the education system, a lot of my friends simply stopped talking to me and practically all the time I need to be the one talking to them before they say anything. I really don't think it was the pandemic that caused my one-sided friendships, it's probably just that after a school year has passed, I'm usually the one carrying the relationship. It has happened years before the pandemic many times. Random note: I've been in a friend group of four people twice in my life (it's insanely hard to get one now but easier when you're younger), and both times I'm usually the weirdo and the nerd at the same time. The first time I caught one of the people in the friend group writing a letter explaining why I should be excluded from the group for about a week, and I was kinda sad. The second group, contained two twins, a BTS Stan (how the absolute frick did she manage to get friends, she did nothing but talk about it and play Korean rythmn games), and there was me. Usually I was the one to make people laugh because I was outgoing, but now I think I was just weird and I also think that everyone is boring lol. I pretty much just got slowly but surely removed from the group, and to this day, I can catch the friend group grinding on games without me. It doesn't even hurt, I just feel determined to get new friends, as everytime I think about it, I just feel compelled to put my past behind me and to basically start a new life. How did you read all of this? I literally ranted to complete strangers on the internet because that's how sad life is bruh
I'm in the same boat as you with multiple people, most of my friendships are like that. I'm always the one reaching out- it's not as if they act like they're doing me a favor by replying to messages, but it certainly can be exhausting at times. Since I know if I'm not reaching out to them when I can, the friendship will most likely just poof, like it never happened at all. That fact deeply saddens me- and I want to believe my friends do have their reasons for never being the ones to talk to me first, but it's hard sometimes.
I used to put much effort into making friends, but always ended up being the side that put effort into the relationship, so I just kinda gave up on making friends, cause it always makes me feel like I'm an unlikable and uninteresting person.
I feel you but in another way, I stopped putting any sort of effort into making friends a time ago, by that time, I used to hear other students (not only from my class specifically) that they for some reason feared me, just by the fact that I just stay on my own personal space and not that much social, and honestly, that was a tiny bit uncomfortable to hear and have the eyes of judgment all over me, to this day I still do, but It doesn't effect as much as it used to.
This sounds just like my brother - except he is worse. Can you imagine growing up with a person like this, and never being able to escape their presence...
here are tips "i usually do this" 1.beat him/her up 2.beat him/her up again me and my brother do this almost everytime that it gets to the point not even my Dad and Mom can control LMAO 🤣
THIS IS WHY I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND HAVE NOTHING BUT CATS FOR LOVE AND HAPPINESS PEOPLE DONT LOVE YOU EXCEPT TO GET WHAT THEY WANT AND CATS LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONAL ALWAYS❤
I've been the first friend. I'm terrible with starting conversations, so I mostly only messaged my friends over quarantine about homework and such. Also doubted anyone actually wanted to talk to me anyway, so I figured trying to start a conversation would just bore them. I guess a lot of the isolation I felt was my fault in the end
That is literally me. I always feel like no one is interested in whatever I say. So in order to talk someone I usually talk about things like homework or such in order to avoid unnecessary talk. I know it is not like that but in my classmates' presence I often feel like that. It bothers me a lot and I struggle making friends due to this.......Any suggestions on how to get out of this problem?
@@KYC17_YT Hey there I’ve encountered the same before. I’ve had low self-esteem since I was younger so I always expected that nobody would really want to engage in a convo with me. The best way to go abt it is to never make the assumption that they won’t listen to u in the first place. When we already expect it to come, we often drive people away. People respond and listen in different ways so if you feel you’re not listened to, perhaps they just express their interest in a different way. If that’s not a case, I suggest you find another group of people you share interests with. You may not feel secure sharing stuff at first but def walk at ur own pace. Maybe start by sharing what happened in ur day etc. Anyhow this is from experience I hope things get good for you
i think i was behaving like a toxic "friend" knowingly or unknowingly i guess i'll pay more attention from now on thanks for the video it was making me recognise where i stand in a friendship relationship
I think I’m the kind of friend that always tell my friends to do something one of my friends start to express how they feel then I realise I wasn’t doing the right thing thanks for explaining how to be a good friend. I also found out another kind of friend I have in my life she always blackmail me and also only talks to me when others are not there I feel sad and also I saw her being mean to the young people and makes me feel uncomfortable😢
Same. I lost way too many friends cuz im a d1ckhead to them, but i deal with sh1t. No excuse but sh1t has its toll on me :( i wish people understood that but they dont, theyd rather turn away from me than understand support and be there for me so i can be there for them. Im 17 and struggling making friends and keeping them. So much wrong could be with me.
On the topic of making the conversation always about you: Do not conflate sharing your experiences with a similar problem with talking about your woes. That is often a very supportive action to take, explaining how the issue can be beaten, and maybe offering the person currently having the issue a bit of hope, or feeling like you are someone they can come to for opinions on how to approach the issue. Just don't fall into the trap of assuming what worked for you will work for them just because. That's part of making it about yourself, albeit in a more insidious fashion.
I agree, and also somtimes somone telling you about thier problems can cause people to vent back becaus they finally met somone who is willing to talk about that kind of stuff. It can be toxic but it can also be out of desperation, as long as they come back to you on your issues and talk to you about them it shows they care.
Spurious correlations can be hard to detect. Thinking about when a situation is actually similar and can truly help in finding a solution to another can be hard to connect. Also: Furry boi? One of us, one of us.
Another thing I’ve seen is: Say you said your friends has anger issues, or maybe you had a fight with them and called them rude or mean. Sometimes they might say “oh, don’t mind me and my anger issues” or “sorry, I’m just really mean 😀” I’ve had friends who’ve did things like that, and I end up working my head off about them.
I used to have a “better than nothing” mindset about friends. In my last year of high school I finally started filtering out friends who didn’t meet my standard - all of them falling into one of these categories - and by the time prom came around I had no one left. I had to restart with a fresh pallet. I’m now going into my last year of uni and slowly but surely I now have a good number of quality friends :) don’t settle for less than you deserve!!!
I had somewhat of a similar experience, except for the fact that I only had one friend, and there were many in my circle that really wanted to be friends with me, but I did NOT trust them at all for MANY reasons.
A lot of these points apply to me actually. Funny thing is I am usually aware of that and more often than not communicated openly when I don't see a relationship as proper friendship because of that (formerly trying to avoid "making friends" as much as possible for the longest time after noticing my feelings in highschool), but it often gets dismissed because people keep insisting on their own definitions of what friendship is, and oddly enough it NEVER has to do with genuine mutual care and chemistry. Now I am left with a truckload's worth of shame, guilt, hatred and a broken, repressed identity because I was doing very badly in general with self-doubts and lack of control and I don't see myself ever recovering. I never genuinely cared for another person in my entire life, which is something that kept nagging me because I know it's sus as hell (just like the total lack of any passion, curiosity, talent, grit or anything else that's considered good). But I really don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. Trying to force it anyway just drove me mad. It almost works in fantasies (that I'm not able to have anymore), but that's about it.
I always find myself being in the one sided relationships. It’s such a consistent outcome for me that I started to feel like it’s a normal behavior that I should put up with. This has given me a new perspective, thank you Psych2Go.
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I'd rather have no friends at all than to just accept this pattern
Talk to them. I have a best friend who is not really the type to initiate conversation, plans as he feels like hes bothering me. He told me this when i confronted him about it and now it got better he got more comfortable starting conversation and planning out trips etc. Talk to your friends about it!
This video made me realize that I should cut ties with my toxic friend who constantly blames me for every little thing. Thank you for all the great advice!
same for me my friend always asks me for stuff and they one time had the fucking courage to ask me to buy them valorant gift cards after scamming me and knowing iam going through a tought time and whene i refused they shamed me then blocked me
yep in reality they need you more than you need them. always cut them off the first minute you suspect toxic behaviour inoredr to save urself form the hassle of dealing with them and living a peaceful life with them as far a way possible. you deserve that
1. 0:56 the friend who always needs something 2. 2:03 the friend who gaslights you 3. 2:38 the friend who never reaches out to you 4. 3:17 the friend who always talks about themselves 5. 3:58 the friend who always talks down on you Couldn’t find the timestamps comment this time. Decided that I’d pay the kindness forward. To whoever is reading this, I hope the rest of your day goes well :)
I disagree with about unfriending someone because they don’t reach out to you, it could actually be a sign your friend is struggling with depression. So unfriending might be the opposite of what they need.
I feel like it's also because they could be very shy. Like, u know how u start a friendship with someone-all good and happy and all... but then u start getting shy about going to meet the person so he/she is always the one to visit u. You even start noticing your friend is getting pissed by the whole thing,but u don't know how to tell him/her the truth because your afraid they may be disgusted by u and leave you or telling them won't really improve on things. It happens to introverted or socially anxious people a lot. They are always scared of leading the friendship because they think they'll just screw up- so they try to avoid the person or pretend to not want the person around because their to shy and scared to express themselves and they've not had that many friends before so they hav ed no idea how to keep the friendship alive without you leading. I'm unfortunately one of them and I've lost a Lot of potential friends because of it and now I'm too scared to go out and talk to people without them talking to me first. I'm just afraid of rejection. Like...HOW THE HELL DO U EXTROVERTS DO IT! It's so hard.
Ya but there' s only so much the other person can say and do before they get fed up, you have to try and help yourself and love yourself more and I say this as a person who deals with depression myself.
I relate with this. I'm struggling with depression and it's been getting worse, so I haven't been reaching out and wanting to reach out towards my friends, especially a certain other because all they talk about is themselves and how well life is going for them right now, not even asking how I am. It's making me feel worse about myself, so I'm trying to not talk to them. However, I am afraid though that they might think that I'm a toxic friend instead because I haven't been making the effort to talk to them...
Sometimes you have to leave the people and the things which you love more than anything or anyone else, just for your own good,...if you feel like your friendship with her is bad for one'self than you should leave her and if it doesn't affects badly on anyone then i'll say stay friends with her but if you feel like she is not the person you should be friends with then I'll say be her friend but not close friend or best friend....i know this might be hard but you'll have to make a decision before the time comes where its even more harder for you to make a decision.
3:03 "Being in a friendship, where you have to do everything, and then they make you feel like they're doing you a favour can be very exhausting. And can make you feel under appreciated" -- Psych2go.
Hey. Stay strong. There are still good people out there. Just gotta start looking for people who have the qualities you want. It's possible you may have found a narcissist. Look for someone who wants what is best for you. You'll be OK. Sending good luck your way. 🤗
#3 is also just every introvert ever. I'll go months without feeling a need to talk to someone sometimes, and then I'll feel awkward because it's been months since I talked to them.
Are we gonna ignore that megumi and yuuji were the example of a good friendship 🥺
I LOVED IT KWOCNSKX
who-
I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that
I sure didn't
@@gmyngbride 1:27
Idk if I'm right, but I'm thinking its these two??
*To everyone, remember this:* Having a small group of friends that really care about you is way better than having so many friends that don't care about you.
💜
i have one true best friend and lots of “friends” who probably don’t like me much and i will always choose her over any amount of them
I've no friends and feel okay 🙂 👌
yes
The real problem is finding those small group of people.
1. the friend who always needs something
- true friendships involve mutual interest
- only looking for something when they need something and not being reciprocated
- they only take from you
2. the friend who gaslights you
- constantly blaming you when something bad happens in the relationship
- they only say they care for you as a way to gaslight you
3. the friend who never reaches out to you
- one sided relationships
- it feels like they’re doing you a favor when they reply
- they make you feel underappreciated
4. the friend who only talks about themselves
- your conversations with your friends get turned around and ends up being about them
- you end up being the friend listening to their problem instead
- you always give them your time and attention
5. the friend who always talks down on you
- makes you feel inferior constantly
- they brag
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much
Thank you. Not all heroes wear capes.
omo thank you 🤧
Most of my high school friends fall under the third category here.
At first I thought she was gonna say “according to statistics, only a small percentage of you who watch our videos actually have friends”
PFFF 🤣
Though the same
I don't have any. Till now, every friend I had made had betrayed me...
@@student69741 Same :( 💔
@@student69741 I shall be your friend >:)
In addition to cutting off these kinds of people, I think it's also important for us to be self-aware and avoid becoming those people
Yessssss!!! I totally agree!
this is so true!!
Ah yes, so true
Wooow.
Very good point I was thinking the same thing!!!
"Wow, i'm actually a terrible friend"
- Me, 2021
Hey,since u understood I know u can be a amazing frnd from now on
Like eri said, it's all bout growth and realization is da first step. :D
@@ammdisguisedasanegg true
Eric you don’t have to me that can say well you can try being better!
Eri*
"There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't even jump puddles for you" - Peppa Pig
Muddy puddles that is
Peppa is smart
That is the best freaking quote I’ve ever heard!
I really could have used this video 4 months ago. But I’m out of that toxic friendship now
@@makennasrandomchannel9940 well, at least your out of the toxic friendship now!
Never once had a friendship where the other person actually talked to me without me reaching out first. If I don't talk to people, nobody talks to me.
💯me
Yep
Same, eventually you just give up on reaching out to ppl and learn to enjoy your own company
@@Samilin-Corrath-Gahar 🎯
Yep.. pretty much
I have this friend in college who constantly asked for everything, whether it be my papers, homeworks, notes, etc. At first, I shared them out of pity with him because he’s academically lacking… until I found him hanging out with his friends the night before a homework was due, and sure enough he came to me for answers because he didn’t have time to do them. I eventually lost my pity for him, plus I realised he wasn’t going to change if I keep ‘helping’ him this way. So when he asked me for help again… I told him the homework is easy and it’s not necessary for me to help something so simple. That’s when he exploded lol. He said “you should’ve straight up tell me if you didn’t want to help. No need to start bitching about it. You aren’t the only person I’ve asked help from.” that was when I got so heartbroken and upset. I’ve helped him more than 30 times in less than one semester, and the moment I refuse to give help. he lased out and called me bitching. Shouldn’t I be the one who’s angry? For bothering me so much and taking advantage of me without giving me ANYTHING in return. I SHOULD BE THE ONE BEING ANGRY. Then I stopped replying to him at all. Didn’t talk to him til now.
A few weeks ago, he chatted with my close friend and asked why I keep distancing him. He told my friend that he didn’t expect me to be upset this long for such a simple fight. This part made me really angry because it was NEVER simple. How easy is it for him to call someone “bitching” and expect her to forgive him the next day? I’m just an engineering student in this man-dominated field, trying to survive threats here and there by doing the best I can so my peers don’t look down on me. Yet I was degraded as a bitch for this. Know I know why men label women as sensitive. They say the most hurtful, disgusting thing to women, and think their words don’t matter at all.
He tried to talk to me last week. I guess it’s because he misses the homework answers I gave him. But I avoided him because I no longer want to be associated with that beast anymore. I’ve never felt so happy after cutting him off. Best decision ever. He has to repeat all major classes because he faildd. I’m not saying I’m happy, but I’m satisfied karma has done their job.
Thank you for reading. I just need a place to vent. After all these months, I still cry after reading the “bitch” text til now… lol
I don’t think I have any toxic friends, but this video WAS extremely helpful - cuz it’s taught me what exactly not to do in order to ensure that I never become toxic toward others 😅❤️
hey do yu frienzd with amongus impostor formx the gzame amongu sus impostor sussy baka?!11?
🧐🧐🧐🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤨🤨🤨🤔🤔🤔🤨🤨🤨😱🤔🤨🤨🤔😳😳
I don't even have 5 friends lol
:)
You all have friends 😳, for me I think they (my definite friends ) are all fake and I can recognise each and every person talked me 😅...
@@noobh6144 i forgor 💀
Summary:
1. The friend who always need something (will reach out to you only when there is a need).
2. The friend who Gaslights you.
3. The friend who never reaches out to you.
4. They always talk about themselves.
5. The friend who always talk down on you.
In this quarantine time, I have realised true friends and family who will be there for me in my hard times. Finally, I found I'll be the only person who is going to be with me no matter what happens.
Preach
Where did you find that emoji
@@axh007 I'm a member of this channel, so got to access the emojis.
@@winterlove6191 oh okay thanks for the reply!
Thank you!
(A bit of a story but more of a vent-)
There were a few months when my two best friends always asked me for help and rarely messaged me when they didn’t need it. Dean would still ask me how I was doing and reply to most of my messages but he always said goodbye when his girlfriend (my other best friend) was online but it was still understandable. They were a couple and they liked each other a lot, so of course he’d choose to talk to his girlfriend.
I always knew his girlfriends were very important to him, I knew he’d choose them over a friend so I wasn’t surprised. My other best friend pretty much never reached out to me unless I messaged her first, she would often ignore my messages and leave them on read until she was finished playing a game or playing with her friends. She was having a tough time at home so I did try to be understanding but it went on for months.
One day, I just had it. I joined her and tried to talk to her again like we used to, Dean and her friend Luna was there too so I private messaged her. I tried to spark a conversation with her but after a few minutes, it was a little too obvious that she didn’t want to talk so I left. I waited for a little while afterwards but she didn’t message me at all and that’s when I got mad.
I was never a patient person but this time, I think I can say at least I tried. I unfriended her on a whim (not really a whim) and unfriended Dean too, I was quite sure he’d add us in a group chat and ask me why I unfriended her. I hated confrontation and thought about talking to them again after things cool down a bit but a few days later, I checked and neither of them tried to reach out.
I think that’s when it hit me but ‘Maybe I was the only one thinking we were best friends after all…’
It was honestly hard and I came to regret my decision. I would rather they ignore me than to lose them completely but I didn’t reach out either, a part of me was mad that our years and months together meant so little to them.
Luckily I still had my brother and sister so I gamed with my brother on a daily basis. I knew it wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t a good habit to have but I spent a lot of time with him. When he was busy, I’d get him gifts in a game and when he wasn’t busy, we’d play and talk all day, that went on for months. I honestly didn’t miss my best friends much, my brother never asked about them either.
Lately I reached out to them, it’s been a year and I think I owe Dean an apology. I hate to say it but I also owe my other ‘best friend’ an apology for leaving, I don’t think I’ll talk to her much though. Dean and her broke up so there isn’t much reason for me to talk to her unless she’s having a really hard time. Well it’s not really my problem now since we aren’t even friends, is it?
Still I don’t hate or dislike Dean, I hope I can talk to him a few times every week. He used to help me and I used to help him, I really enjoy being with Dean. I met Dean much earlier than I met her so we were also much closer in my opinion. I’m planning on sending her a few messages at first and one conversation every month or two, I’m quite happy with my life, honest. My brother and I aren’t too close right now because of a mistake I made but I hope to make it up to him and thank him.
He’s always been there for me and he’s always helping me out, I owe him a lot. I also hurt him for a year because of my stupid mistake but I’m hoping to fix it, he isn’t someone I’ll let go of unless he doesn’t want me anymore.
- Wednesday 18 August 2021
Honestly, over the years I've realized what a friend actually means. And then I realized how little friends I have, and how I may be toxic to them.
Same 😔
Same here tbh.....
But I will try my best to change!
Same. I don’t think I am as toxic as before, but I know I am always talking about myself because I’m so overwhelmed with everything that is going on and I need support. I already see a therapist and I am on meds, but sometimes I get so depressed I need someone to talk to. Sometimes I just want to go out and grab some food or a drink, just get out of my head, but I feel like I’m the only person who is always the one who is setting up plans to hang out and that makes me feel lonely too.
Same...
Same. I feel like I make everything about myself and talk about myself but I give good comfort apparently or at least that's what my friends say. I'm so confused and trying everything to stop talking about myself as much
Having no family or friends guarantees my sanity and peace of mind...
"I don't have Friends
I Got Family"
- Dom Toretto
oh my god 💀💀
Me
Poggers
Wow this comment 😍😂😂😂
DOM TORETTO??
Does anyone else feel quite sad when you can’t really find some loyal, trustworthy, or simply just someone you can count on when you’re in your lowest times type of in real life friends? So instead what you decided to do is to try finding some online and not that they’re “bad” or anything, in fact, there are lots of great people online. However the thing is you just don’t get the same feelings when talking to people online, rather than irl friends?
Exactly my point.. My best friend has betrayed me several times so she will never be able to fill this gap of trust she lost because there is always this fear that she will do it again. With online friends you can exchange topics and identify. However you will always want them to be physically next to you
@@elisabetpapadopoulou3866 Trust is like virginity you only lose it once
That's very true there's nothing quite like meeting friends face-to-face , having a chat , having fun making each other laugh.
@@lastofthefamous2542 Which is a shame. I believe its worth getting therapist help just to regain trust (for other people), life will definitely be worse if you cannot trust and build relationships.
I have no irl friends but i have a online friends on discord! Thanks :)
Just want to say before you stop being friends with anyone: in my opinion you should 100% talk to them first before making a move. This gives you both the opportunity to work things out and understand why they do the things they do I believe.
Edit: I would like to also mention how sometimes it is not a good idea to give someone a chance based on the circumstances. Such as them not willing to listen or comply with the chance you give them. But it's still not a horrible idea to give everyone a second chance as long as they don't take it for granted.
Absolutely! I speak from hard experience, because I give people plenty of slack from the beginning. If they make a mistake or two I might help them untangle things, or give more slack so they can figure it out for themselves. This can go on for years, or it can be over fairly quickly, though I totally understand the phrase, "give enough slack to hang themselves with" because the truly unworthy person will. At some point it's just unworkable anymore, and they usually know it at least as well as I do by then.
I got gaslighted and blocked lmao after multiple tries at that “stop questioning my loyalty” she said after I addressed her literally talking crap about me with literal proof smh I shoulda just ended the friendship. We’re adults btw.
@@pterodactylbull yh dont be friends with them anymore
Most people like this are typically full of themselves and don’t take criticism very well. Sounds like a waste of time to me
Why go through even more drama. Its better to just up and go an never explain what happened. Because youll only help them hide how toxic they are because they will learn what drove you away. Its better to let them figure it out if they ever do. Just focus on you. They don't care about your feelings.
Your solutions to these issues are to just stop being their friend? It would definitely help to communicate how you're feeling before you just abandon the friendship
I never forget that quote that says
"Because friends is not about quantity, but qualities"
Yessir that’s a good quote imma keep that, I live by “give respect to earn respect and that goes the same way with disrespect”, this can be applied to many different things I use to decide how I feel about a person and what they’re on
It's just Quantity over Quality. QOQ
KOK
itadori and fushiguro being an example of good friends is so sweet :)
Yess😌 i was looking for this comment 💕
Fandom
@@makizenin8121 yeah same
@@Mary-zb9bt 🤜🤛🛐
Crying
Pro tip: try talking out your interpersonal problems with your friend. Dont just drop friends. People can and will change if they want to.
Thats some big talk right there indeed 👍
some people are just stubborn and ignorant. talking is not an option, i seek war 🧙♂️
This absolutely a thousand times over. I've recently been ghosted by a friend for over a month now even though our prior conversation was completely normal. Now im just left in the dark and don't even know if we're still friends
@@pringu6216 Just go and get your tasks done first bruh . Nobody wants a dude who procastrinates a lot and is a nervous wreck as their friend for real . Be positive and responsible and you get and maintain friendships ez
@@akiamini4006 yeah I'm just sticking with the true friends I have now
I think when we get older we start to realize the people we thought we needed in our life or the people who added value to our lives changes. It's ok to shed those relationships and let them be what they were remember that it's up to you for personal growth. I have very few friends because of this and say it leaves me open to explore a relationship withyself and live an honest life with myself because thats what I value. Don't settle in relationships because there are really good people out there who want to grow along side of you
"The friend who never reaches out to you"
I can't cut relationship with them, because that kind of friend is me. That why I don't want any friend I don't want to hurt them.
I relate. I'm the friend in number 3 who doesn't fill in as they should. I've just gotten sick of constantly dealing with the mental issues that I just can't anymore. Now she keeps trying to uphold our friendship but I'm just too exhausted. I do try to reply to her but it's just getting harder. Her situation at home in a way is similar to mine, but we are so different. It's hard to talk normally when we don't even have the same belief, or when the only thing we can talk about is our issues.
Same. For the longest time I've been the emotional support system of my friends, trying my best to talk them out of su!c!d3, making sure they don't harm themselves, get themselves into trouble and making sure they eat well. But they rarely take the time to ask how I'm feeling, or if I'm doing okay. It just mentally drains me, so I end up turning off my notifications on everything and ghosting everyone. It makes me feel bad because there are friends that have gone above and beyond for me, and those are the type of people I want in my life for a long time. But I just can't deal with people who dump all their problems onto me without offering help when I need it.
@@minty1312 EXACTLY! Can't describe my friendships any better than that!
Same, I felt very called out by that one. But I think the important thing is if you struggle to reach out to your friends because of anxiety or other metal health issues you just need to show you appreciate them for being the one to reach out. Let them know that *they're* doing *you* a favor and not the other way around.
im pretty sure im the friend who always talks about myself. my friend tried to vent to me and i end up venting to her. i kind of hate that about me-
but shes quite toxic- she only texts me when she needs something, or when she wants to vent- never any other time. i always have to ask to hang out or else its silence in our chat- even when i go over- which was once every day of my life- she just plays on her phone. no attention towards me. she ignores me half the time too. ive learnt to try and keep my feelings to myself away from her cause she tends to use that against me. but i do always end up venting to her when she wants to talk cause i feel like thats the only change i could ever get to vent to someone i couldve trusted- until i found out she was extremely toxic.
lol seeing a dream stan as a example for a terrible friend is literally the most funniest thing ever
@@VVampyr well i mean- he is gaslighting people-
it’s not a dream stan it’s dreams cannon character in his lore thing
in my comment i put time stamps to the moments a DSMP member is shown/sence revrence lol (i am not one of those commenters i swear i am just dumb)
It's his canon character
I legitimately lost my shit
This video reminds me of when I wasn't self-aware of the way I treated my friends until my friend brought it up. I love watching these videos help me be more mindful of my actions and the things I can improve myself of. ❤ ( I love your cotent!! )
"People I should stop being friends with?"
Not a problem, I have no friends any way! :)
Its good to have like 2 or 3 tbh
i've had a lot all my life and now no one, as took years to realise what a lot of them were like, I never put myself first at all
You don't have friends
How lucky .. Actually you don't need them,bc they just want to be with you for some reason,they don't want to be with you bc they're interested in you or like you,in my opinion,the life that you have without friends is the best life that anny one can have,if you see the other people happy with their friends,they are just acting to be good person is the others mind so if you are searching for a friend,you should stop and come back to your room to watch memes like me:-)
I wrote a lot right sorry for that...
Hey starting with a clean slate I see lol...me too..
ILL BE YPUR FRIEND
Just Remember the six elements of friendship,
*Honesty
*Laughter
*Kindness
*Loyalty
*Generosity
*Magic
MY LITTLE PONY... I USED TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BE
@@socttcawthonbutnot1021
I see a man of culture
Love the magic!
My little pony. ...until you all shared its magic with me
@@ennardthefuntimepuppet6456 fr
I'd like to say that usually cutting your friends off immediately is a bad idea. Sometimes, you should confront them about it first. They might not realize that they're doing it, and you might actually help them out by pushing them to be a better friend.
If they refuse to grow, THEN you can cut them off, and only after they start trying to improve themselves should you give them a second chance.
I've always expressed but there are 4 and 5 and 3 and the one who needs something and they've apologized and came back and I've completely just distanced myself because it hurts me and i have another who act likes she benefiting me and idk man i rather just stay to myself, she just always talking bout her problems and i give her advice and she doesn't take it at all just wants me to feel bad and like its to draining to deal with anymore i wish her the best
@@WonToTwee just cut(leave) her bro
Not everyone deserves a second chance, so if the person has hurted you enough, I don't see the reason why you should be giving them another chance 🧐
@@drunknown422 because if you made those mistakes, you would want one.
One of the things that makes "villains" is people lacking the capacity to forgive
You don't have to if you don't want to, but that is my personal philosophy
@@WonToTwee yes, I have this friend who always talks behind people's backs and makes remarks, I know she had a lot of things that going on for her but it's still no excuse to how she acts, she also talks down to someone I really care about, so I'm going to try to confront her about it soon, if not, then it's okay I'm not going to the same high school as her anyways
You're better off having just people you know and not having solid friends you'll only get hurt in the end .Don't expect anything from anyone and you'll never be disappointed.
I've had tons.of friendships that ended badly. Too many. Mostly because I never left when I saw red-flags. I was loyal, attentive, selfless, and above all else made an effort. But unfortunately plenty of people do not understand these qualities within someone and will take your kindness for weakness. Nearly everytime. And worst of all, give you excuses when they don't adhere to their own word. Personally, if I were to offer any advice to anyone it's this -- Don't expect perfection but expect to be treated the way you treat them, and if they don't, won't, or can't, they aren't a true friend. Period. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME! Life is too short to put your all into the kinda, sorta, maybe people who don't see your worth and treat you the way you deserve. So you have to find the ones that do. And they're out there, unfortunately you just have to get through the shit before you find the gold. But when you do, it'll be the true friends who treat you the way you deserve and will never take you for granted. Then it'll all be worth it. Trust me.
It's so true...it's painful now that I know and remember about it...
Amen.
Well, my “best-friend” and I were keeping a nice relationship but just a few weeks ago she stopped talking, only sometimes. she always cancel plans and now we only text if it’s for schoolwork. It’s mostly like 95% school and 5% actually talking to eachother. But now she’s trying to cut me off for even for school, like for example I asked her a question and wondered if she could help me , normally she’s always here to help but she said she isn’t want to help me without any reason. We keep getting distant, and idk what to do.
@@siyamthandaabulela492 ok thank you for the advice. You also made me laugh a bit so thanks for that to ☺️
Tbh if i make more friends i would usually be happy and just feel like i own the world but ofc alot of friends meaning that imposters having a chance to hide in every corner
0:56- The friend who always needs something
2:03- The friend who gas lights you
2:38- The friend who never reaches out to you
3:17- The friend who talk always about themselves
3:58- The friend who talks down on you
Wow many of my Friends can get award because they have mastered every betrayal
My friends don’t usually argue with me, they argue with my other friend and they are rude. But if you ask me are they good? *Yes but actually no*
I want to vent.
Thanks for simplifying !
Thanks
Please don’t be one of those people who falsely accuses all of their friends as being one of these stereotypes. We know it happened to at least one person who watched this, haha
I have only had 2 or 3 friends who check all these boxes, and I think none of them are close friends anymore. One still sends out feelers from time to time, though I think he understands by now that I've had enough.
Shit...I have the level of trust equal to that a security guard's. I hate myself so much.
After I talked to my best friend about quitting the therapist friend role, she accused me
For making her depression 170% when she hasn’t been diagnosed, she made excuses like
“Serious talks make my depression big”
When she put me in lots of drama, stress, lots of venting, and made me
Neglect my mental health
I just wish breaking a friendship with your cousin was so easy
Algorithm needs subscription,don't be friends with the needy,it's about give and take, you need to make an effort, selfish one-sided relationship isn't appreciated⛔
@UCybVYmRe4TahgWwR0AvjW3A this reminded me of the time i was depressed and i had a therapist friend, after she wanted to quit i was a fuking prick to her and i still regret what i said to her, that drove me to talk to a professional but i still feel bad about it after all this time
I feel bad because I was the toxic friend.. and I did not realize it until it was too late. I was the type 2 friend who blames her friends whenever there is a problem in the relationship, and I always made them feel that I had a preference over them and that they needed me and that I could abandon them and I did not need them and I do not know if my best friend is upset about this because our friendship lasted 4 years, but in the fourth year we no longer talked much because we were not in the same class and because the sideburns had ended and we no longer had anything to talk about. Now we do not talk at all because she found friends who are more suitable for her. In fact, I am happy for her because she was the reason for my happiness and she did not abandon me and tolerated me for 4 years and she loved me and I do too and I hope we can be friends again to show her that I have improved
I’m sorry
i just realized that i am the fourthy type of toxic friend, but i just dont really care because i am so pride so it can be hard for me to have some good relationships
Some nuances to consider!
On never reaching out: Sometimes people isolate due to mental illness or addiction. Always keep this in mind, some folks aren't trying to put the responsibility on you, they're just struggling.
On making things about themselves: neurodivergent people often relate to others by bringing up personal experience to show they understand! It's not always an attempt at monopolizing a conversation.
Just a reminder to give people space to be human, not everything fits in neat, clear-cut boxes!
What is neurodivergent? Sorry.
@@AwesomeRace7 The definition on google says, "Differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal (frequently used with reference to autistic spectrum disorders); not neurotypical."
Other psychological disorders are considered neurodivergent as well outside of ASD, but that's what's usually being referred to :)
Damn so I guess I'm retarded then
thats so true! I'm neurodivergent and I do that all the time! I never realized that it was an autism thing.
I can personally relate to this. As much as I hate it, it's not like I don't have time for the people I rarely contact. It's more of a feeling that they don't want to talk to me, and not wanting to bother them in their world.
you know what... *I don't need friends, they disappoint me*
but whoever realized your one of the top above. It's okay being self aware is the number 1 step to change your ways and actions we're all human.
Vine
You're lucky they just disappoint you, I've had 2 in the last 18 months who downright disloyal and hurtful.
The worst part about this would be someone who constantly talks about themselves, ask only for your help and doesn't invite you for any good moment whatsoever BUT COMES HERE and say that you're someone who's talking down when you highlight what they do. That is Gaslighting at its finest ladies and gentlemen.
As someone who is autistic and has ADHD i personally struggle with a few of these. I accidentally end up sending full on books about my day because every little thing is interesting to me. I feel so bad about it and my friends definitely hate it and so I try to stop as much as possible. I also end up turning things around accidentally making them about me. I hate to admit it but I've definitely been guilty of it. It definitely hurts to know that i could be considered toxic but it's also a good thing for me to try and change!
That’s not your fault! You should sit down with your friends at a time they aren’t venting to you, and explain and apologise. If they are good friends, they will understand. 🙃
Same!! I like to talk to people about my recent hyper fixations and stuff cause i like sharing about my life but I'm worried I might be making it too much about me and not enough about them.
@@chaoticfroggo6852 I've been struggling with trust issues. My friends are not nice they're accusing me. They got mad at me for not going bowling. It's all my fault that I fell asleep.
@@chaoticfroggo6852 this guy was falling in love with me had a crush on me. Unfortunately I have no romantic feelings for him I didn't feel the same way at all. I was just looking to have friends. And he message me out of the blue I'm done trying to be your friend I offer you to come bowling with me and you never showed up so I'm done trying to be. It's all my body's fault for falling asleep I didn't think I was going to get in trouble I hate my life
Wow How mature of you to take responsibility , you will go far in life and grow maturely 👍🏼👍🏼
How many friends do you want? Comment below.
❤️
None im fine by myself
0
i want at least 10 friends ! :)
Like 3 or a nice small friend group
Don't forget about the friends who don't respect your boundaries and purposefully make you feel uncomfortable
Uhmmmm...........Me and my friend do that as a joke .....
And she’s the one who’s toxic 🥰
@@doritodiamond1201 I honestly do understand thinking yourself is annoying or something and wanting to change but not because it has gotten into a habit or smth. You can break the habit if that's the case for you, I believe in you. I'm sorry you got into a toxic relationship tho
they might betray you
@@TotaldramaisGreat_924 I have had one, they tried to turn everyone against me but ended up leaving the friend group and feeling bad.
It doesn’t look like anyone caught that jujutsu kaisen reference so I’m just gonna point it out and appreciate it
Yes! I'm not the only one that noticed it then ✋
THANK U
I was looking for a comment like this, thanks
THANK YOUU!!
Wat is tat
I just got out of a toxic bestie situation.we used to be extremely close but would often get into fights when I felt like I was being ignored and forgotten. I used to be naive. For 4 years I was made to believe I am immature and incapable of selfless love. I failed to recognise the countless other people who were there for me. She abandoned me the moment she got a bf. I broke. I'm in my healing period now but realised. She was everything this video spoke about. Made me realise how foolish I was to stay when everyone I knew told me they were tired of seeing me depressed and used. Pretty much venting in public right now. But learning to let go. That's a very important lesson I hope people learn without it destroying them.
I love how they used Dream as an example of Gaslighting...if only they used Ranboo as the victim though but overall very happy about that lol
it’s still not wrong..
or tommy during exile
What'd he do?
@@zzthology his character on the Dream SMP, which stands for Survival Multiplayer (not the content creator himself) has had a story arc where he manipulated an exiled character
@@houdaini7 ohhh ok, tysm
Used to have “friends” that were so mean to me that I didn’t understand how a real friendship was supposed to feel like. Looking back, they weren’t even my friends, they were literal bullies. Talking down on me, never including me, constantly ignoring me, making fun of me, laughing at me, constantly pointing out my flaws and more. Hell, one of them even told me that she would become very happy if I died as a “joke”. They both left me scarred for life. I’ll never forgive them for that.
I was in that exact situation for quite awhile. You get so used to their abusive behavior towards you that you think it’s normal. When someone actually treats you with respect and dignity, it kind of throws you off at first and you don’t know what to make of it.
@@captaineasychord1 yeah, I genuinely felt confused when I got new friends and they were nice to me. I still haven’t gotten used to it sadly.
wow i now realized that they were so abusive to me and i thought its a normal thing... would be kinda great if i had a friend who actually treats me with respect and sees me as a friend as well😑
@@captaineasychord1 that exact thing just happened to me in highschool a month or two ago. My introverted ass was just sitting on my phone in the cafeteria when out of nowhere this random kid I've never seen before introduced himself to me and I end up having a conversation with everyone around me before class eventually starts. Now I sit at the table with some of the people I met that day. Though I have yet to see the first kid again.
That’s not right! I hate this because I know exactly how you feel you deserve to be treated with respect love and kindness everyone does
I’ve been a terrible friend. I’ve mistreated my friends just this year and I kept on messing up because I never realized how toxic I was until now. Now I’ve started to improve but I think almost all of them are giving up on me- they think I’ll never change. They all doubt me
At least you've acknowledged your toxicity and now doing what you can to improve yourself, maybe, the new friends that you'll make will see the better you
I also have been a very bad friend, I bragged about myself too much, and never reached out to my friends. 😞😣
If you realized your mistake and are sorry for that, they your are good human.
It's okay to make mistakes but the important thing is to realize it and make yourself better tomorrow.
Keep on improving 👍
Dude, what you just said right now is amazing, continue on your efforts with that will to change and you won't have to worry about that too much in the future, it's really cool to see someone saying how they were wrong and wanna change for the better ^^
Same as me I have realised thing after I saw this video so I will try to be better . Well............ I am an introvert so I have no Idea how to strike a conversation. It becomes VERY AWKWARD 😅🥺😭
1. The friend who always needs something. The friend who only talks to you when they need something from you.
2.The friend who Gaslights you. Manipulater
3.The friend who never reaches out to you. Doesn't care! Doesn't care to Even reaches out.
4.The friend who always talks about themselves. Self centered and doesn't really care about you.
5.The friend who always talks down on you. Is either full of envy and just wants to feed their ego
Bro...No.5...I just complained about her when She crossed the limit..What would I have done..She tortured me let me down for almost 1 yr
I have a cousin that always talks about themselves, but since they have a sister who are always are on their side, I don’t even have the guts to
Edit: she always interrupts me and then talks about herself. But she says sorry, so idk if she’s really self centered
My advice to anyone here is never let anyone walk over your boundaries, if someone doesn't want to be there for you in the good and bad times, try not to let them have full access to you. What I learned is you are the main character in your life and for most people, you are no more than background or side character, sometimes the antagonist. Put yourself first and trust your gut, if you feel a friendship is too transactional, walk away if that's the best move for you.
All relationships are transactional, cease the transaction and see how long the friendship lasts
True. Agreed
Yesss say it 1 more time for those in the back!!!
Another really toxic type is the gossiper:
Someone who calls me his "girl best friend" (which he don't is to me but that's a diffrent story) wanted to force me to unfriend a girl just because she rejected his best friend. I ended up lying that I would do it but I'm still friends with her till today
*do it, commit not friend anymore.*
*he's trying to isolate you.*
@@garbage_goat8386 I mean we talked this out about half a year later. Still made me uncomfortable back then
Wow, that sounds tough.
@@kelechi9854 As I said we talked this out about half a year afterwards. I explained him how I felt back then and he at least seemed to understand my position (even though I have my doubts on how empathic he actually is but that's a diffrent story). While he didn't put me in such a situation again deep down inside I can't guarantee myself that it won't happen again.
As already said I'm still friends with that girl. It's kinda one of these open secrets
Uff I’m the third one, never reaching out- I just assume I’m not fun to be around so I just separate myself from them; I don’t mean to hurt them in any way at all, just been in a weird mood lately which causes me to cut off contact with so many people. Thank you for the video though, I hope to improve myself to become a better friend
Same! I don't reach out too often, but it's not like I'm ghosting my good friend. I feel guilty from time to time, though...
Same
Same, but my friend is kinda annoying hes always talking about himself
It’s okay :) you aren’t doing it on purpose. This behaviour isn’t your fault okay? Stay strong :DD
I am experiencing the complete opposite... There's this friend that I really care about because we've been through things for like 2 years now but it has never been this bad. Trying to reach out only to get one reply and afterwards I get ghosted, it's not like I don't want to talk with them but if they can't even reply me when I am trying to initiate a conversation just makes me feel unwanted and wondering why I even bother in the first place :/ Not sure how to fix that though.
I have a neighbour who moved into the flat below me a year ago. I've started noticing a pattern where I'm happy to help them out with basic necessities here & and there. I'm instinctively kind & if I have plenty when they have nothing, I'm happy to help out or share what I have without needing to be asked. But they only really ever do the bare minimum for me & make it out that it was a real struggle to do even that. I brought it up with them & they got really defensive about it & started to gaslight me! Needless to say, I've got no further intentions to be anywhere near as forthcoming and helpful as I have been. From now on, I only have enough for myself! It's sad that people are so shortsighted & selfish, but c'est la vie! 😂❤
It’s best not to chase after a “friendship”. Especially a farewell one.
Thank you
I've never had friends like this. Choose the people you keep in your life wisely. You deserve only the best💕
Your lucky
I've had a friend who was Toxic anytime I stood up for myself or said I didn't like something, she'd just turn around and say I did the same thing, I always felt like I had to walk on eggshells around her, for instance, If I said something even playfully that she didn't like she would just get up and leave, I was always there for her, and I'm not saying I'm completely blameless but it always felt unfair and unbalanced, she told me sorry a handful of times and made fun of me.
@@BrooklynJewel if you don't feel completely loved, even through hard times, it may be time to let go of this friend and make sure you're being the type of friend you wanna be. Then look for the awesome, caring, giving friends you deserve!
@@semicharmedlizzy aww thank you, I have cut ties with her and have made it clear that if she wants to be friends she's ganna have to make an effort, and she hasn't so I'm done.
@@BrooklynJewel that's super brave of you. Always put yourself first🥺 I'm glad to hear this
1. 0:56 The friend who always needs something
2. 2:03 The friend you gas lights you
3. 2:40 The friend who never reaches out to you
4. 3:19 The friend who always talks about themselves
5. 3:58 The friend who always talks down on you.
bruh, pretty sure everyone in the world falls in one of these categories. Case in point- I fall under the 4th one.
Yeah same I’m glad I canceled that friendship before I watched the video.
@@vidhaansharma1615 yes
5. Is basically my 2 "friends", i have 2 so called friends that always tells me stuff when i do something that they don't agree with they either tell me im stupid or dumb a noob or a idiot if i share a opinon that i basically don't know would make them mad they would get mad at me and say stuff to me the thing is im still friends with them idk why i just can't let go of them one day they would be nice and chill and next day they are suddenly rude and mean its a whole scramble of emotions and they always pass it off as a "good sign of friendship" seriously they think calling their friend mean stuff is "good" and funny, i want to look for advice on any of you im not sure if i should let go of them both or still be with them or maybe even confront them, i already tried to confront both of them but most of the time my anxiety would kick in and i would basically feel weak and numb, i also wanna mention that both of them are bff's so they treat me as some kind of outcast in their friendship that they could yell their emotions at, its so confusing since both of them would be chill when i do something they are comfortable with and are interested in and suddenly when i say or send something that i didnt even know is "offensive" to them" they would insult me and sometimes even swear at me, its a mix of emotions and im looking forward to hearing what you guys think i should do
@@vidhaansharma1615 I mean with number four, people can talk about themselves and not notice it much. Communication is the key ig.
While full on gas lighting and talking down to someone in a not so joking way is a bit more concerning
Man i love when these type of youtubers add references to the complete opposite genre and make it make sense
this video was awesome. also I love the channel style. best regards from Spain 🙂
Que chucha haces aquí ._.
ª
Ñ gang
Without S
Ciertamente no esperaba uno de mis ytvers favoritos aqui
Hola mi Amigo
1.) Always needs something (never give back)
2.) Gaslights you (constantly blames you)
3.) Never reaches out to you (you keep maintaining the relationship)
4.) Always talks about themselves (always end up being about themselves)
5.) Ways talks down to you (goes out of their way to make you feel lesser)
thanks
Yup I have that friend.
Definitely not dealing with this anymore.
Your friends are not your significant other lol
Ye all these things are happening to me rn and im fukin broked up ... i dont have any friends man ... thing to remember-only friend of yours is your family , tell them the things instead of sharing it to the anonymous
(edited 6/8)
two months ago, i wrote how i felt like my friends ignored me and i overall just had a one-sided relationship. to those who have felt similar, i’ve found some helpful information that may lift your spirits :)
❤️ there are people who will be your friend but eventually they may turn toxic. yes, this is an unhealthy relationship. if you are afraid to cut ties with a toxic friend because it may hurt them, chances are, it’s hurting you more. do not be afraid to cut ties; you are not responsible for anyones happiness.
❤️ attempt to engage your buddies with conversations and activities. you’ll know who your real friends are if they truly care about you. if they are fake, i promise it’s better off to take time alone with yourself.
❤️ don’t jump to conclusions. as harsh as it sounds, you might not consider what’s happening in another persons head. they may not even know you feel left out. should this be the case, let them know how you feel.
❤️ remember to love yourself. despite what others may tell you (or what you tell yourself) you are human. someone will always care.
hope this helped :)
I understand. You need to go to more societies
Well, your not the only one.
I had a friend i knew for over 10 years when we outgrow each other. He became pretty toxic and selfish and once i had enough of this behavior and asked why am i deserving this, it was lots of talk talk talk to make it ok.. again. This continued for a couple more years till i really had enough of these lies.
I rather to be alone now instead of being with him again.
ADHD with serious friendship dysfunction here. The best thing about friendships, is unlike relationships, you aren't a cheater for looking for better choices while still keeping the crappy ones you have. Go for it!
If the person you bound yourself to is doing everything to pull you both down, cut that bind. Nothing kills you more than keeping an ungrateful brat afloat.
U know what I have a friend my best friend actually we have been friends since preschool and when I saw number 4 it made me realize that they (she is gender fluid) do that to me all the time like when I would try talking about how I found out that my dad tried kidnapping me more than once (I live in weitchpec Hoopa California so it's not like out in the cities) when I was little and that I might just have some undiscovered trauma from the experience she cut me off and started talking about who bad her relationship with her dad was (still talks about it to this day she just uses him for money as he has nothing else to give her) and it made me upset but I am what my friends call "the pink unicorn" of the group so I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I just listened, she also hits me ever time I see her (like she slaps me in the face or kicks me she can't scratch me right know she doesn't have fingernails) but that's just how she is my other friends tell me she isn't nice but it's always been like this she hits me, bites our child (we like to say we adopted my fav cousin) and I help her through everything but don't get it wrong she does contribute to our relationship she tells me not to do drugs or smoke or any of that stuff. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that she is supposed to be moving soon and she seems to be getting more distant from me ever since we came back from home studies so I can understand were your coming from and I hope u can try to either fix your friendship or find someone who actually cares 😁
Those are all good. But before making something drastic make sure it's actually not miscommunication.
Like the friend bragging about the promotion. Are you simply misinterpreted it as so or receive when it's actually just the way of the friend to express itself.
I am not saying it's always is, but sometimes confronting the problem first by sitting down and talking about what hurt you, can change Toxic relationship into good ones.
Nobody is perfect and there is a chance that without knowing you yourself will hurt people you care about down the road.
It doesn't make you a bad person but this is a reason we should all be a bit indulgent with one another.
Now that said, if communication was done. If things were talk about and the person either do it again callously or disrespect even your feelings of the exposed situation...yeah drop that friend ! Cause it never was a friend to begin with and
YOU ARE WORTH MORE !!!
love how this channel references so many show and characters, it’s so fun
True, it’s great
1 - The friend who always needs something: ...good thing covid came
2 - The friend who gas lights you: manipulating a person...good thing I know his a narcissist
3 - The friend who never reaches out to you: one-sided investment...I mean it can change, right?
4 - The friend who always talk about themselves: I mean she's a good friend, you know? I get to practice counselling and my patience ^ w ^
5 - The friend who always talks down on you: nope, never met one, sounds like an a**
Oh- I have had all of these friends lol
@@iu01ae86 oh~ how'd it go?
I feel like my sister is the one who only reaches out to me when she needs something and then dissapears 😒😒😒
@@gigimargal9234 omg it's the same thing for me too. It's really annoying bc she don't care about me at all. And she's here like give me something and after that she don't want to talk to me. And when i ask her she said that what i'm doing for her was nothing
For 3 I feel like I'm not connecting with my friend at all
6. A friend who constantly tries to monopolise or ruin your relationships
“Does your friend always seem to ask personal questions about your relationship to your partner but not you, do they do everything they can to convince your partner they should get with someone else simply because they can’t stand to see you happy, chances are they doing this because they aren’t happy with themselves and are looking for a way to air off their own insecurities that they deny to themselves, so if you have a friend that consistently goes behind your back whenever your out with your partner and tries to get them with anyone but you then it’s time to draw the line and cut those toxic friends out of your life for good”.
By "partner" do you mean a friend of yours that they can't stand?
@@flameyt4149 no by partner I mean someone who I’m in a relationship with but people who I thought were friends will ask personal questions and try to get them with someone else when I’ve done nothing to them so fed up with it and don’t really hang with them anymore it’s the reason why I don’t have friends coz I only trust my partner no else
@@excelsiore457 oh ok I understand, i think u made the right choice
@@flameyt4149 thankyou it’s nice knowing someone understands
I definitely used to be this kind of person a few years back. But I grew as a person and no longer do that kind of stuff. It’s always good to see where you have improved as a person or confess you were that person but are no longer that type
Having a friend that gaslights you is really painful, I just got out of that kind relationship and it was really tRaUmAtIzIng because, of course she was the one that ended the relationship and told everyone that I tried to sabotage her, so guys be careful who you befriend because I don’t wish anyone what I’ve been through not even to that friend because it drains all your energy and love of life, I’m still healing but now thanks to you PsychToGo I now understand how toxic of a friendship it was :)))
I love Dream at 2:04 and how he is considerated "the friend who gas lights you" by what he did in the dsmp w his friends
I thought I was the only one who noticed that lmao
@@Hyperions.Ari. I highly doubt you were lol
I don't really follow the smp, what happened?
also there was a ranboo reference with the :)
@@HenCreations also killin them-
•Time Stamps•
0:56 - The friend who always needs something
2:03 - The friend who gaslights' you
2:38 - The friend who never reaches out to you
3:18 - The friend who always talks about themselves
3:58 - The friend who always talks down to you
Remember to drink water, have a snack, go outside and that I love you
I love you too!
Thank you 🙏
Thanks
i remember having a friend that would probably have his own category here: the obsessive/pampering friend.
basically, the person is pretty chill at first, and you quickly get along with each other. in fact, it's really fast how it happens, and soon enough they're already in your circle of friends. but soon it feels like the friendship's going _too_ fast and it feels off. like, it's been only a few weeks and they already want to visit your house and they always pester you about it. they also slowly start pushing you away from other friends to make more time for them. they may even start acting hostile towards you other friends and then only act kind and sweet towards you. and then before you realise it, they're already trying to insert themselves into _every single_ social situation you're in, and even start following you around (at least, with what i've experienced), and it's to the point where even thinking about their presence makes you feel uncomfortable. in some cases, they may even try to start a relationship too soon. they constantly pamper and kind of obsess over you, hence the name.
i had a friend like this as a kid, who i'm gonna call V, and long story short, everything i've described above applies to his behaviour. he started the friendship way too fast and tried to cut me off from everyone, starting small with an argument between one of the my other friends to try to separate him from us. there was even an incident where i was talking with another friend privately about this situation, and i looked behind my shoulder and V was there, following us from a distance and trying to get close. we told him it was a private conversation from the get-go, but he just kept persisting. i'm glad i managed to get away from him in time before it got _really_ bad.
I remember being like that back on 2021. I'm happy that it ended.
this used to be me in primary i didnt realise it until my friend told me about it
she told me that she has her own social circle and friends, and her social circle shouldnt revolve around me only
im very grateful and glad that she told me about thsi and i get to realise how bad my actions were
and i feel sorry for my primary friend
i no longer do this anymore :D
I was a little like this but I wasn't hostile to other people. I was glad to be able to talk to anyone else as well. I even tried to help bring a friend back into our little circle when they got into an argument because I wanted them to still be friends. I just always wanted to be with that one person because I felt safe since I was bullied a lot. I also had it stuck in my mind that being a best friend is having 1 person you always want to do everything with so that didn't help either 🤦♀️. There were a lot of red flags that should have told me to start finding other friends but I was super weird so it didn't take much for people to go from hi to oh eew go die in the corner no one wants you here.
Luckily I was able to find more friends in highschool, I stopped talking to that 1 friend and I was actually able to enjoy being in school
Oh yes I’ve been living this !
I also had a friend like that I honestly didn't really realize that I wasn't hanging out with my other friends into it was too late, and I had no one to talk to. I'm glad you got out of that situation it's hard to get out of it.
These videos really calm me down , I enjoy listening to the message but overall it’s very calming, and sometimes it’s fun to spot out characters that I like drawn in a sketch
This channel makes me anxious about every choice I've ever made in my life... love the miku though... but now I'm stressed that I'm not cool enough to have a Miku profile pic...
@@coastaku1954 Oh, I guess I can see this I suppose this channel is a slight bit overwhelming and other thinking. YOU ARE COOL ENOUGH FOR A MIKU PROFILE PICK ANYONE CAN HAVE A MIKU PFP!
1. The friend who always needs something (0:58)
2. The friend who gaslights you (2:03)
3. The friend who never reaches out to you (2:40)
4. The friend who always talks about themselves (3:18)
5. The friend who always talks down on you (3:59)
I hope this will helps ☺
6. A friend who steals your credit card information.
@lucy horgan im ashamed to admit but that friend is me.
Only energetic people tend to be making friends like these is what it really sounds like.
Well damn. In that case I have no one.
@@moisesarellano9205 ?????
"You want to find someone to vent your problems to, only to find yourself listening to your friends problem"
God this hits home LOL
Yes
I find more helpful and secure when you vent with online friends rather than irl friends, cause it's just awkward sometimes after some months when you've told something and you see them in front of you physically-
Maybe they are hurting too. Just hearing your problems reminds them of their own.
@@YourMom-yp6ev mostly when you have similar experiences rip
@@jaeheekanghan yah a lot of times people like to relate to your problems.
I've had one-sided friendships for years. I pulled all the weight, always was the one to reach out and ask to hang out... They haven't asked about me for ages, even now that I've stopped asking after them. I got exhausted trying to pull us together. I liked hanging with them, but it hurts, so so much, that I wasn't interesting enough for them to bother anylonger. I feel like a complete outsider. My only friends left are one who lives on the other side of the planet after moving, I can only chat with her online but maybe she'll visit this year, and then there's my best friend, the very first I made in this area. I'll just have to trust that they won't leave me like everybody else has.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with you and just the capacity they’re willing or can give at the moment.
Have you ever thought that they might be going through tough things at the moment and aren't mentally capable to reciprocate?
Maybe your energy is off and too upbeat while they're experiencing truly trying times, and they're protecting you from their negative energy. Or they feel you wouldn't understand.
You're on a psych channel, surely you understand that trauma can cause people to withdraw and lose trust in others?
Of course, that's all a big if. Depends on if they're only singling you out for this, or it's been a general behaviour change.
This describes me extremely well. Most of my former friendships were one-sided. Now I only have one real friend, but she is one of the best friends I could have asked for.
Same, I always carried about friends and chatting with them, whilst quarantine was going, mostly when I texted someone I don't get responds. This was like sitting just with yourself typing to friend like 'Hey bro, wanna play some games?' and getting ignored, every day. After some time (like years) I just get used to it and start enjoying my loneliness.
@@Un1234l Oh, trust me, I'm not too upbeat. With them I'm more quiet and shy, we could laugh every now and then, sometimes a lot. I gotta say, they're a bit younger than me, they're still technically kids I think, one is probably a teen now, so they might not understand what they're doing, but I've heard and I think seen that they have other friends that they hang out with more, so it's just me they lost interest in. And it can't be just because I'm getting older (I'm 16 now), back when I was 12 and 13 they were being forgetful even then. We could still come up with things to do that are suitable for all of us, I'm not a teenager that looks down on "childish" games, but I'm not good enough. I'll get over it eventually, though.
I recently joined this friend group that i didnt wanna join in the first place but im too embarrassed to say no. I only joined their group for one person i wanted to talk to since i saw her. They make fun of me all the time making fun of anything that i do and it brings me down. I wanna get to know the girl i wanted to friend, but she is always with them, and they literally control her because she thinks they are very nice because they friend her. They were making me so uncomfortable and always told me they wanted to cheat off of me in front of me. I started talking to them less every day, and now im always sitting alone doing nothing and no one even bothers to help me. They always try to make me do their homeworks basically using me. The class basically hates me. Couldnt care less but i have been lonely for 2 years with no friends and its driving me crazy.
you are loved and valuable, always! ❤🤗
I feel kinda bad because I’ve been the friend who never reaches out, but it’s the anxiety and depression that make me isolate myself from everyone. The past 7 years have been tough.
But noticing this is the first step to improving!
That’s me with all military friends after I got out but mistreatment while serving made me became cautious to all
@@Psych2go exactly!
Don't feel bad about not reaching out. That doesn't make you toxic. Toxic is when you take something from someone for your own benefit while hurting/ harming the giver in the proces. Have you ever harmed anyone by not reaching out? If you meet up with a friend, who has done all the 'reaching out', and you treat him like crap then yes you are a toxic person. If you don't reach out to people who are dependent on you and you are responsible for them, like your kids, yes you are toxic. If you don't reach out to someone because you are not in a place to socialize and want to protect yourself and work on yourself, how are you a toxic friend? That's bullshit. Toxic people do ghost people too, but they do it with the intention that they can't benefit from you anymore. And like the video mentioned, when they do meet up they act like they are doing you a favor. Because in their head, they don't like you and they actually do think it's a favor to meet up with you. Don't blindly believe everything that is being said. stay critical. don't even believe me. thanks for reading my long a** paragraph
@@HumbleWorldTraveler Same here.
i feel like sometimes i take my closest friend for granted, when i get busy i tend to forget about contacting them or just constantly putting it off to later, till i realised that my friend got really distanced from me and got hurt from my attitude of neglect, i'm trying to stop taking them for granted and to show them my appreciation for being my friend through all what we've been through.
people with no friends:
I'm four parallel universes ahead of you
do you have a sibling or a pet? If yes , you already have one friend
@@sukanya3411
My cat, mom and dad are my best friends :)
Friends online be like : Bish what am i A roach?!
@@bxbbleteax731 No, flies!
@@thesaddestdude3575 Pictures too!
Lemme check my friendlist
Ah, it's pretty empty, no worries for me. Ty for the video.
The worst thing is that i can't say no when they need something and when i try to tell them kindly that i can't be online 24/7 and have other things to do instead of chatting all day they start gossiping and now many people hate me because of the rumors that i'm an unfriendly person who ignores texts from friends. After seeing this video and also because of this experience i don't want friends anymore. It's better to be alone.
I know your pain, They doing this make them feel better about themself using you like a string around your wrist. Grossip won't last forever till they get it or not! Types of people can do to harass you if keep going you got to use screenshots or voice recorder on phone in real life post it on social media that your a hero that is a must!
Also if you proof them I guess people going be side with them then you if don't work
Those people who did this to were not your friends, but it doesn't mean you should give up on being with people.
You are the main character of your life, but you need side characters as well. And the villian is also a need.
Those people should know that maybe you weren't there for them 24/7, but the effort you put into being with them is incomparable.
Also about the gossiping, people who gossip about you being unfriendly, must not, and will not make you unfriendly.
did u tell them they are retarded tho?
You’ll need to learn how to stand up for yourself and be firm while standing your ground, centered in your truth. Otherwise, you’ll notice that you fell for the bait, didn’t live out your goals and dreams, didn’t explore other opportunities and people, and you’ll die being miserable. Stop holding yourself back from growing and trying to control things such as rumours when that’s out of your control. Control yourself instead and stop trying to please others that don’t give a flying duck about you. All the best friend and I pray that the universe is with you every step of the way in life, make the right decision and grow!! Move on, everyone that talked shit about me and beloved the rumours cane back apologizing...I ignored them and set the tone once again. 27 and I’m living an amazing life😎
And also I was in the MMO gaming community group. They also can gossip, be toxic, harass me I have been kicked in the axx several times. But I keep losing interest in the things I love were started my depression. I was playing a lot of games same thing over and yeah things get worse to me. But please don't go threw like these people!
I would add a 6th category : the pushovers. People with no respect of our boundaries, always asking (or rather ordering) that we do this and that.
"Answer my texts right away next time!"
"We'll go see a movie this saturday don't be late! What do you mean you can't? I said we're going!"
It's easy to stay with these people when we fear we would be alone and don't appreciate that. That makes us blind to these misbehaviors and we end up feeling worse everytime.
Run, run, run away from people like that!!!
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
A true friend will not bully you into plans that they made without consulting you and will not demand that you be at their beck and call.
It's better to be alone than to be with a bully.
I'm the friend who never reaches out but I'm always waiting for my friend to message first cuz if I contact her first I feel like I'm disturbing her. She likes talking about herself which I'm very comfortable with cuz it's good knowing more about your friend.
Noone's ever so busy to msg their friends. And yes it goes both the ways.
@@DivineDefect he’d laugh lol
@@DivineDefect Yeah
@@bonbin6053 lmao
Same
I recently found this video, and I want to say thank you for making it. I never really understood what made good friends and what didn't for the longest time, a lot of my 'friends' were a mixture of the first four, especially the gaslighting and the never reaching out. I always put so much energy into them, and the energy back was never equal or never there at all. I've been working on the good friendships I have, and retaining them, and so far my life has been getting better from it but...
My issue is with people who don't reach out in return. Its hard to tell which ones really care, or truly don't care at times. I'm quite social and I know some people are a bit more introverted but some people also just don't care. That's the part where I don't know how to tell if someone is just a friend that has troubles sometimes or a friend that doesn't care.
I have a lot of one-sided relationships. I seem to be the only one putting in the effort to check in on them and see how they're doing. God, this hurts. Once I care about someone it's hard for me to NOT care.
I’m in the same boat with that one.
I feel you! I think it’s okay for some friendships like if I had a deep connection with them and when we hang out we enjoy each other’s company it doesn’t bother me as much. Compared to a friend that didn’t have any deep conversations with it makes me feel used and like they don’t care. And this one friend keeps making excuses for not reaching out more and when they do it’s only about them.
same but cutted them all because they didnt do the same for me...
I freaking swear I relate to this too much. Literally, two tears ago before the pandemic hit, I had some pretty good friends, and a really close one. I would talk to them a lot, as I had like three classes together with them, which were in order, so we had a long period of time to talk. We did argue a lot, as she was quite sensitive and I'll admit, I wasn't the nicest person back then. After the pandemic took a toll on the education system, a lot of my friends simply stopped talking to me and practically all the time I need to be the one talking to them before they say anything. I really don't think it was the pandemic that caused my one-sided friendships, it's probably just that after a school year has passed, I'm usually the one carrying the relationship. It has happened years before the pandemic many times. Random note: I've been in a friend group of four people twice in my life (it's insanely hard to get one now but easier when you're younger), and both times I'm usually the weirdo and the nerd at the same time. The first time I caught one of the people in the friend group writing a letter explaining why I should be excluded from the group for about a week, and I was kinda sad. The second group, contained two twins, a BTS Stan (how the absolute frick did she manage to get friends, she did nothing but talk about it and play Korean rythmn games), and there was me. Usually I was the one to make people laugh because I was outgoing, but now I think I was just weird and I also think that everyone is boring lol. I pretty much just got slowly but surely removed from the group, and to this day, I can catch the friend group grinding on games without me. It doesn't even hurt, I just feel determined to get new friends, as everytime I think about it, I just feel compelled to put my past behind me and to basically start a new life.
How did you read all of this? I literally ranted to complete strangers on the internet because that's how sad life is bruh
I'm in the same boat as you with multiple people, most of my friendships are like that. I'm always the one reaching out- it's not as if they act like they're doing me a favor by replying to messages, but it certainly can be exhausting at times. Since I know if I'm not reaching out to them when I can, the friendship will most likely just poof, like it never happened at all. That fact deeply saddens me- and I want to believe my friends do have their reasons for never being the ones to talk to me first, but it's hard sometimes.
I used to put much effort into making friends, but always ended up being the side that put effort into the relationship, so I just kinda gave up on making friends, cause it always makes me feel like I'm an unlikable and uninteresting person.
I always try to find someone with similar interests with me, it’s a pretty strong foundation and makes us both want to talk to each other.
Same :(
Same
I feel you but in another way, I stopped putting any sort of effort into making friends a time ago, by that time, I used to hear other students (not only from my class specifically) that they for some reason feared me, just by the fact that I just stay on my own personal space and not that much social, and honestly, that was a tiny bit uncomfortable to hear and have the eyes of judgment all over me, to this day I still do, but It doesn't effect as much as it used to.
Skill issue bruh: this is a joke plz dont persecute me in the comments
This sounds just like my brother - except he is worse. Can you imagine growing up with a person like this, and never being able to escape their presence...
I also have a horrible brother
here are tips "i usually do this"
1.beat him/her up
2.beat him/her up again
me and my brother do this almost everytime that it gets to the point not even my Dad and Mom can control LMAO 🤣
I m suffering my whole life bcz of my sister so no one can feel you more than me
same. i gave him the coldest shoulder i could and lemme tell you, it was the most satisfying thing
@@crash3180 same 😌👌
THIS IS WHY I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND HAVE NOTHING BUT CATS FOR LOVE AND HAPPINESS PEOPLE DONT LOVE YOU EXCEPT TO GET WHAT THEY WANT AND CATS LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONAL ALWAYS❤
I've been the first friend. I'm terrible with starting conversations, so I mostly only messaged my friends over quarantine about homework and such. Also doubted anyone actually wanted to talk to me anyway, so I figured trying to start a conversation would just bore them. I guess a lot of the isolation I felt was my fault in the end
i have nothing to say, or add, or smile about, when i was in school. one reason why i was bullied.
That is literally me. I always feel like no one is interested in whatever I say. So in order to talk someone I usually talk about things like homework or such in order to avoid unnecessary talk. I know it is not like that but in my classmates' presence I often feel like that. It bothers me a lot and I struggle making friends due to this.......Any suggestions on how to get out of this problem?
I think it is due to the fact that I am isolated from society for a long time so now I have troubles trying to fit in.
@@KYC17_YT Hey there I’ve encountered the same before. I’ve had low self-esteem since I was younger so I always expected that nobody would really want to engage in a convo with me. The best way to go abt it is to never make the assumption that they won’t listen to u in the first place. When we already expect it to come, we often drive people away. People respond and listen in different ways so if you feel you’re not listened to, perhaps they just express their interest in a different way. If that’s not a case, I suggest you find another group of people you share interests with. You may not feel secure sharing stuff at first but def walk at ur own pace. Maybe start by sharing what happened in ur day etc. Anyhow this is from experience I hope things get good for you
Wait, this might be the reason he never starts a conversation. *Rebots life*
i think i was behaving like a toxic "friend" knowingly or unknowingly
i guess i'll pay more attention from now on
thanks for the video it was making me recognise where i stand in a friendship relationship
same its making me consider my actions and words
Good on you for trying to better yourself. That's what counts
I think I’m the kind of friend that always tell my friends to do something one of my friends start to express how they feel then I realise I wasn’t doing the right thing thanks for explaining how to be a good friend. I also found out another kind of friend I have in my life she always blackmail me and also only talks to me when others are not there I feel sad and also I saw her being mean to the young people and makes me feel uncomfortable😢
same
Same. I lost way too many friends cuz im a d1ckhead to them, but i deal with sh1t. No excuse but sh1t has its toll on me :( i wish people understood that but they dont, theyd rather turn away from me than understand support and be there for me so i can be there for them. Im 17 and struggling making friends and keeping them. So much wrong could be with me.
On the topic of making the conversation always about you:
Do not conflate sharing your experiences with a similar problem with talking about your woes. That is often a very supportive action to take, explaining how the issue can be beaten, and maybe offering the person currently having the issue a bit of hope, or feeling like you are someone they can come to for opinions on how to approach the issue.
Just don't fall into the trap of assuming what worked for you will work for them just because. That's part of making it about yourself, albeit in a more insidious fashion.
I agree, and also somtimes somone telling you about thier problems can cause people to vent back becaus they finally met somone who is willing to talk about that kind of stuff. It can be toxic but it can also be out of desperation, as long as they come back to you on your issues and talk to you about them it shows they care.
Also, why do you have zero confidence? Becaus i dont either.
Spurious correlations can be hard to detect. Thinking about when a situation is actually similar and can truly help in finding a solution to another can be hard to connect.
Also: Furry boi? One of us, one of us.
Thank you!
Another thing I’ve seen is:
Say you said your friends has anger issues, or maybe you had a fight with them and called them rude or mean. Sometimes they might say “oh, don’t mind me and my anger issues” or “sorry, I’m just really mean 😀”
I’ve had friends who’ve did things like that, and I end up working my head off about them.
"friend" is someone who cares about you, helps you, and understands you, not someone who will not give back
This should be applied broadly, from family and even colleagues. Toxic is toxic, these people should be avoided.
Yes. Indeed!
I used to have a “better than nothing” mindset about friends. In my last year of high school I finally started filtering out friends who didn’t meet my standard - all of them falling into one of these categories - and by the time prom came around I had no one left. I had to restart with a fresh pallet. I’m now going into my last year of uni and slowly but surely I now have a good number of quality friends :) don’t settle for less than you deserve!!!
I only have 3 friends .. one being my boyfriend . I have others but I am the only one to reach out ..
I had somewhat of a similar experience, except for the fact that I only had one friend, and there were many in my circle that really wanted to be friends with me, but I did NOT trust them at all for MANY reasons.
@@justalpha9138 really. ?
@@AlylovesDP Yup
@@AlylovesDP This was during my final two years of high school
A lot of these points apply to me actually. Funny thing is I am usually aware of that and more often than not communicated openly when I don't see a relationship as proper friendship because of that (formerly trying to avoid "making friends" as much as possible for the longest time after noticing my feelings in highschool), but it often gets dismissed because people keep insisting on their own definitions of what friendship is, and oddly enough it NEVER has to do with genuine mutual care and chemistry. Now I am left with a truckload's worth of shame, guilt, hatred and a broken, repressed identity because I was doing very badly in general with self-doubts and lack of control and I don't see myself ever recovering.
I never genuinely cared for another person in my entire life, which is something that kept nagging me because I know it's sus as hell (just like the total lack of any passion, curiosity, talent, grit or anything else that's considered good). But I really don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. Trying to force it anyway just drove me mad. It almost works in fantasies (that I'm not able to have anymore), but that's about it.
I always find myself being in the one sided relationships. It’s such a consistent outcome for me that I started to feel like it’s a normal behavior that I should put up with. This has given me a new perspective, thank you Psych2Go.
I'd rather have no friends at all than to just accept this pattern
Talk to them. I have a best friend who is not really the type to initiate conversation, plans as he feels like hes bothering me. He told me this when i confronted him about it and now it got better he got more comfortable starting conversation and planning out trips etc. Talk to your friends about it!
This video made me realize that I should cut ties with my toxic friend who constantly blames me for every little thing. Thank you for all the great advice!
same for me my friend always asks me for stuff and they one time had the fucking courage to ask me to buy them valorant gift cards after scamming me and knowing iam going through a tought time and whene i refused they shamed me then blocked me
yep in reality they need you more than you need them. always cut them off the first minute you suspect toxic behaviour inoredr to save urself form the hassle of dealing with them and living a peaceful life with them as far a way possible. you deserve that
Yes! Do it :)
1. 0:56 the friend who always needs something
2. 2:03 the friend who gaslights you
3. 2:38 the friend who never reaches out to you
4. 3:17 the friend who always talks about themselves
5. 3:58 the friend who always talks down on you
Couldn’t find the timestamps comment this time. Decided that I’d pay the kindness forward. To whoever is reading this, I hope the rest of your day goes well :)
You forgot one……
*THE FRIEND THAT ALWAYS STEALS YOUR THINGS AND BLAME IT ON ANOTHER PEOPLE !!* 👺
😂😂😂
1:27 The Itadori and Fushiguro drawings are so cute and wholesome, I love them.
I disagree with about unfriending someone because they don’t reach out to you, it could actually be a sign your friend is struggling with depression. So unfriending might be the opposite of what they need.
That's very true. Things that need to be considered are their existing personality, behaviors and so on.
I feel like it's also because they could be very shy. Like, u know how u start a friendship with someone-all good and happy and all... but then u start getting shy about going to meet the person so he/she is always the one to visit u. You even start noticing your friend is getting pissed by the whole thing,but u don't know how to tell him/her the truth because your afraid they may be disgusted by u and leave you or telling them won't really improve on things.
It happens to introverted or socially anxious people a lot. They are always scared of leading the friendship because they think they'll just screw up- so they try to avoid the person or pretend to not want the person around because their to shy and scared to express themselves and they've not had that many friends before so they hav ed no idea how to keep the friendship alive without you leading.
I'm unfortunately one of them and I've lost a Lot of potential friends because of it and now I'm too scared to go out and talk to people without them talking to me first. I'm just afraid of rejection. Like...HOW THE HELL DO U EXTROVERTS DO IT!
It's so hard.
Ya but there' s only so much the other person can say and do before they get fed up, you have to try and help yourself and love yourself more and I say this as a person who deals with depression myself.
I concur and that is concerning that others don"t think of the importance of mental health. Thank you for addressing that.
I relate with this. I'm struggling with depression and it's been getting worse, so I haven't been reaching out and wanting to reach out towards my friends, especially a certain other because all they talk about is themselves and how well life is going for them right now, not even asking how I am. It's making me feel worse about myself, so I'm trying to not talk to them. However, I am afraid though that they might think that I'm a toxic friend instead because I haven't been making the effort to talk to them...
I have a friend and I feel like we shouldn’t be friends, but she is all i have and i dont know what I would do without her…
Sometimes you have to leave the people and the things which you love more than anything or anyone else, just for your own good,...if you feel like your friendship with her is bad for one'self than you should leave her and if it doesn't affects badly on anyone then i'll say stay friends with her but if you feel like she is not the person you should be friends with then I'll say be her friend but not close friend or best friend....i know this might be hard but you'll have to make a decision before the time comes where its even more harder for you to make a decision.
You don't have to leave her immediately start by forming other healthy friendships with other and withdraw quality and slowly
3:03 "Being in a friendship, where you have to do everything, and then they make you feel like they're doing you a favour can be very exhausting. And can make you feel under appreciated" -- Psych2go.
I’m in abusive friendship, and this channel has helped me figure with a lot of things out. Thank you.
Hey. Stay strong. There are still good people out there. Just gotta start looking for people who have the qualities you want. It's possible you may have found a narcissist. Look for someone who wants what is best for you. You'll be OK. Sending good luck your way. 🤗
Same…
I fell bad for you guys 😢
Same! it’s really hard and these videos help me to! I wish you well♥️
im literally in love with this cute version of Itadori and Megumi ❤✨
SAMEEE
I WAS JUST SCROLLING THROUGH THE COMMENT SECTION TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY NOTICED THAT-
Sameee
I used to have a toxic friend. Now I have good friends, when I met them, on that day I fell and they helped me.
#3 is also just every introvert ever. I'll go months without feeling a need to talk to someone sometimes, and then I'll feel awkward because it's been months since I talked to them.
I mean as an introvert, that’s not really an excuse to ignore friends 😰
@@cantermelon4368 Ignoring isn't quite the same as not initiating conversation to begin with.
That’s not what being an introvert is
@@wavez4224 yah
@@nyankers even my close friend is an introvert but we talk each and every day