My Dark Vanessa Review [CC]
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ต.ค. 2024
- Here's my take on this controversial book!
#smashthepatriarchy
B E M Y F R I E N D !
I N S T A G R A M: nonfictionfeminist
G O O D R E A D S: www.goodreads.com/nonfictionfeminist/
T W I T T E R: nonficfeminist/
G M A I L: nonfictionfeminist@gmail.com
Great review Amy. I honestly didn’t know there was controversy surrounding this book. I didn’t personally want to read it because I thought it might bring up some stuff within me that happened a decade ago and I’m just not in a place to deal with it... but I’ve heard such great things about this. I’m glad it was a good reading experience for you.
I'm glad you're taking care of yourself! I'd like to do a triggers discussion video sometime, I think it's an interesting topic, especially since my triggers often catch me by surprise
I agree with your view 100% - that there are two sides of a story and that both voices need to be heard and considered to be valid. And in many ways it's not a conventional rape/harassment/abuse story in that what happens between the protagonist and her teacher seems entirely consensual on her part - he never "makes" her have sex with him or strong-arm or pressure her into doing it iwth him (such as by abusing his superior position as a teacher by threatening her to give her bad grades or something).
But then, he is the teacher, he is the adult person, and he should take the responsibility by being the one to say NO, and he never does that. He does ask her I think whether what they are doing together is what she wants, but this ultimately turns into a subtle ploy of his assigning the responsibility for what is happening, or the responsibility for what would happen to HIM if she told anybody, ENTIRELY onto her (at one point he tells her she would destroy his life by telling). He couches this in terms of her being the one in power, when really it's just a cop-out on his part, a sign of HIMSELF not wanting to face responsibility. And there is the way he twists her mind by making her lie to protect him, including to people she cares about and should not by lying to. It is said that abusers often "groom" their victims into thinking what is happening is consensual, when really it is not, and into believing that they have a power they really do NOT have.
And it becomes clear throughout the book how this twisting of her mind has shaped and damaged her throughout her adulthood - she is practically incapable of having a healthy relationship with a man, and though she starts out as a gifted young girl (for writing), she ends up in a job which is comparatively menial for her talents.
It was so interesting to see the long term effects of grooming on her view of the situation. I really hope this books opens up discussion for people
@@nonfictionfeminist Actually, thinking of it, this story reminds me very much of another teacher/pupil love story in real life, though it was about a female teacher and a male student (she even ended up having children by him). The "love story" started when the boy was thirteen; it ended temporarily a few years later when the court issued an order that forbade them contact. The boy initiated legal action as soon as he came of age, and he ended up marrying his former teacher. This was also one of those stories where I initially thought "well, that age criterion might be arbitrary, perhaps they really love each other", but clearly the boy was damaged by it somewhat (he got charged with DUI at one point).
I have to say this video was almost a minute in before I even started listening. Your makeup is ON POINT. Flawless!
Okay, on to the book. I’ve watched a couple reviews about this one and they definitely recommended the book. I 100% agree with you regarding the fact that the author should not have to disclose whether or not she suffered similar abuse. I don’t know a female who HASN’T had experienced some form of sexual abuse.
I think I may have to give this one a shot.
Oh my gosh THANK YOU. It's tough to even try to put on makeup lately, it feels great, but it's so much effort. Definitely give the book a try if you're up for it!
I had so much to say about this book and got some of my thoughts across in my video but your way of point on "your voice" is so on point
I really appreciate your thoughts on Own Voices books being good, but not the only way for a book to be good. Especially when it comes to people writing about trauma without having to disclose their own story.
Thanks! I'm always a little worried when I have those kind of discussion, I don't want to hurt people's feelings or end up saying the wrong thing
i keep hearing about this book and it sounds really interesting. i dont read contemporary much but this topic does appeal to me. i also completely agree on your thoughts about own voices, i think that own voices stories are great but to say that you cant write outside of your own experience is ridiculous imo.
I was worried about this conversation because I want sure how people would take it, but I'm glad people understand what I'm trying to say! I read SO MANY contemporaries on this topic
Hi! I just started the book last night and I'm really enjoying the reading experience. I haven't read many contemporary books, but I have been to few book presentations and book signings and I'm just so amazed at the questions people ask. Like I went to see SJ Watson and more than one person ask him how did he put himself on the shoes of a woman if he wasn't one? Someone else ask him if he tried to put on ladies stockings so he could describe the feeling? .... I just can't imagine JK Rolling being ask how did she write about a little wizard boy if she wasn't a boy or a wizard? Or imagine that every crime book was based on the own writers voice? . I know topics are very different but they are both fiction, and in the case of my Dark Vanessa if you are a women you would understand what sexual harassment is, because unfortunately most of us have some some form of it.
I wasn't aware of the turmoil this book has gone through. Thank you for not spoiling the book for us who haven't read it yet!
Really hate when the persuit of ownvoices leads people to feel justified in being incredibly invasive towards the personal lives of rando creatives with minor mainstream success
I would really like to read this one. I relate to being interested in this niche category! I think these stories are so painful but so important to read and be aware of.
I want to do a video on this particular category sometime, but I'm not sure how to approach it yet. I think it would be great to have a recommendations list for others who enjoy reading this niche
@@nonfictionfeminist Great idea!
I feel like you perfectly summed up how I feel about own voices books. I definitely feel they're important and needed, but I don't think they're the only needed stories out there. (But yes, as a ciswoman, I wouldn't be caught dead writing about the experience of a transgender male or female either. Some stories are NOT needed lol)
Thanks so much! in my most recent video, I talked about intersex being my big exception to own voices, because the stories just aren't out there so we need what we can get, no matter who they're from
I am excited to read this book, I should have it by the end of the month! This also reminds me a bit (maybe?) of Putney by Sofka Zinovieff, which I never finished reading(but should!). The victim doesn’t really consider herself a victim so I believe her friend tries to convince her that she was or something. Very interesting, a little jumpy at times between timelines (three different perspectives: perpetrator, victim, witness)
Ooh that sounds like I book I could definitely get into! Looked it up and it's immediately available on Libby 🤩 Excited for you to get your copy
I am really curious for this book. When I was in college a lot of profesor in my University try to have relationship with us and we were minor but all of us have a weird story
I had one professor that I wonder about sometimes. Definitely worth a read if you're up for it!
I really enjoy how you do a book review. This book is one I want to read. Thank you 😊
You're welcome!
Just finished this book last night! I also read Excavation by Wendy Ortiz earlier this year after the mini controversy and would highly recommend. Kate Elizabeth Russell also has a reading list on her website of books that she drew inspiration from.
Ooh l'll have to check it out! Thanks for the rec