Story 1: While it might sound terrible to only allow someone dying from cancer supervised visits with her own child, there's good reason for it. There has been countless cases of dying parents who decide to take their own children with them in death rather than to let their ex have them. Being terminally ill can make even otherwise sane people do crazy things, and the cheating woman in this story was obviously not well in her head even to begin with, so.. yeah. Supervised visits is a must.
@@antithoughtpolice7497 Oh for sure, I didn't even think about that. That's definitely a real possibility when someone is terminal and wants to spite the ex for not forgiving their infidelity. All too often are children used as pawns or weapons in divcorces or domestic disputes, and add to that someone losing their mind because they're terminally ill.. yeah, supervised visits only is the only safe way to do it.
I know this one woman who was cuckoo for Coco puffs who's kids were taken away because she was a druggie and was living with her pimp (she was a prostitute and the father of her kid was a drug dealer) she was a mess when it happened, locked herself in the bathroom threatening to kill both herself and her son (think the kid was barely a year old, maybe younger? Forgot how old he was) her pimp busted down the door and helped the police get her away from the baby (pimp might have been a drug dealer lord and had a whole stable of prostitutes but he did care about his kids and family) his sisters ended up with the kid (and the next two after that one.) So I understand that the woman in the video might take her kid with her.
as someone with cancer, may I say that this comment is just ignorant. We're not likely to go "crazy," we're as mentally stable as anyone else, and we're not more likely to harm our families.
He was just being emotional and most likely haven't sort out his own feelings probably just act out of common sense/auto pilot. He did end up telling OP everything after he calmed down
We need mandatory paternity and maternity test to be able to register a baby fr. Edit because it seems that TH-cam has hidden my other answer. Yes, I said maternity test, because once out of the womb a baby can be changed/stolen. Only take a distracted/tires nurse. So yes, it is good to do a maternity test to make sure that the baby you brought home is really yours. It would also save a woman from being humiliated by the implicit accusation of infidelity and the judgment of others if both maternity and paternity tests are mandatory and are done together as a requirement to register a child. It would also prevent couples from breaking up. Women consider separation in those situations.
@@kevinsullivan2153 Yes. We tend to assume that a child belongs to the woman because she carried it, but we are not aware of how common the theft of babies for trafficking or accidental exchanges is. A distracted nurse is what it takes. Plus, it can save a lot of relationships. I think that in general the majority of women believe that it should be mandatory (this is the feeling I get when talking to women in my environment and in conversations I read in online women's spaces). We understand that a man cannot be 100% sure because he does not go through pregnancy. Now, none of us like the accusation between the lines of infidelity for no reason. If I saw myself in that situation I would let him take the test, and when the result came back I would separate/request a divorce. I respect myself too much to be with someone who doesn't trust me or is willing to put me in the humiliating situation of being judged by the people who take those tests (I've read enough reddit threads to know how the women who went through that felt). That is why I am in favor of the test, but only after the baby is born (of course, I believe that by law a woman should be obliged to return the money if she has lied to a man during pregnancy and he has paid for things related to the baby ). This way, no one would raise a child that is not theirs, no one would go through the trauma of discovering that those people you love are not your biological parents, whether in adulthood or childhood, and a couple would not break up over having to ask for it, because if the government makes it mandatory, the need to require the test ceases to exist. Win win.
@@inihilisme1511 It seems that TH-cam has hidden a long comment that I left earlier responding to the first answer. I basically said that once out of the womb a baby can be changed/stolen. So yes, it is good to do a maternity test to make sure that the baby you brought home is really yours. It would also save a woman from being humiliated by the implicit accusation of infidelity and the judgment of others if both maternity and paternity tests are mandatory and are done together as a requirement to register a child. It would also prevent couples from breaking up. Women consider separation in those situations.
Story 1 reminds me of one I heard a while back where the mans wife passed away and left him a letter, in the letter she confessed that their 10 year old son might not be his as she was unfaithful and turns out he’s not.
Story 1. Wife has a reputation and many many people are warning brother about her. He still goes through it. Years later learns the truth. As a spiteful person id look straight at my brother in the eyes and repeatedly say "I told you so. I told you so" "I and many others warned you but nooooooo"
She actually did it perfectly, whether she intended it or not. She kept silent that whole time they were in the "honeymoon phase". If she had said something or pushed her brother in any way, the brother would not listen at all, and then years later he probably wouldn't have asked his sister to be the legal guardian. The fact that she just kept her head and intervened at JUST the right time was great. Well, I mean, great despite the circumstances.
I would argue shes the hero of sthe story lol, let alone the asshole. She saved her brother from a lifetime of lies. Imagine if his wife had died and he continued caring for a child that wasn't even his?
NTA You didn't ruin their marriage, she ruined their marriage because she doesn't know the meaning of loyalty Also getting cancer sounds like she received karma for cheating
As for some women to be asked for pateriny test is an insult (as it implies they cheated) and can lead to a divorce because of lack of trust from their partner, this guy did everything right. He did the test in secret without pushing his wife. Pity that this one was indeed a cheater. This guy deserves better.
Any argument a wife makes about how her husband should just trust her implicitly as his wife completely falls apart when you consider that the state of being someone's wife has clearly never once been a foolproof way to prevent an affair from happening. If anything, making that argument casts more suspicion on her, not less. Honestly, it should be standard practice for every single married man with children to get a paternity test done.
@@radicaldreamer927 Also it wouldn't hurt for mothers to get a maternity test on the off chance that the baby got mixed up in the hospital... Apparently that happens a lot more often than you'd think...
Yeah, outside of that one story I've had personal experiences where a dude thought a kid wasn't his and multiple paternity tests proved otherwise. Those always suck because now the wife realizes her husband doesn't trust her and there's no reason being in a relationship like that. Just paternity test at the hospital while those services are readily available, get it out of the way asap.
@@readerdragon7783 Quite frankly, that says more about the wife than the husband. If she did cheat, and she doesn't come clean, how else is the husband supposed to find out besides a paternity test? Sheer happenstance? The fact that she didn't cheat isn't the point. If any wife reacts this way it speaks to a severe lack of empathy for the position that men are in. In that case, she should probably do some introspection before she can confidently say she's ready for a romantic relationship in the first place.
Story 1 is a prime example to listen to others when they say the same thing about someone or something. If people keep saying or hearing something that happened with an individual that was true, it's always good to go find out fully what happened and how. People who are doctors or nurses make fraud/false paternity test results deserve to lose their license in the medical field for good. Not only did they screw with someone's life, but the child involved in life as well. A cheater is a cheater, a liar is a liar, and scammers are all scammers. Even if they have regrets of their actions, that doesn't stop anyone from doubting they would do it again, nor would it be forgotten.
I have a saying : if one guy call you a horse, you can flip him off, if everybody is calling you a horse, you should go buy a saddle ! So if everybody is telling you someone is shady, this person is probably shady
@@yozarahirvi4750 yup the brother literally brought it on himself. at a certain point you need to take accountability and responsibility of your own stupidity
I dont agree while I say you shouldn't risk it like all crimes there is a chance they will learn it depends largely on how it's found out and how they react. Again its a big risk don't recommend it I'd sooner recommend high stakes gambling
I mean.. when you take care of a child for years you don't just throw the kid away after finding out they're not biologically yours. The child is just as much the victim in this. It actually surprises me that there's multiple reddit stories where the fathers never wanted to see their kids again after finding out they're not biologically theirs. Even kids who're teenagers already. I understand the pain of the lie, but this is the child you loved unconditionally for years. If that love just goes away after finding out their DNA doesn't match yours then you weren't really loving them in the first place imo.
@Nathan_Bookwurm yep. But you got people going, "but the relationship was built on a lie" and such. America and many other countries were built on slavery, does that make them any less of what they are now. I respect people significantly more who do this compared to those who do what they are supposed to do.
@@Nathan_Bookwurmyou’re only looking at it from his perspective and how “sweet it is”. I’d be pissed if someone else was raising my kid and that my kid had their last name. That is not his kid. It’s the other man’s.
@@Nathan_Bookwurm The kid was only a few months old in this story. Considering the morality of the kids bio parents, guy was thinking of the kid. Seriously, the mom got someone in the hospital to break multiple laws.
Nah brothers wife helped her friend trick her husband for years and then hid the truth from your brother as well.. OP you didn’t ruin their marriage, she did but she just never thought she’d be caught. You did him a favour really. Cancer or no cancer, her lies and betrayal are still terrible
1st story) I don't understand how people can feel guilty in these situations. The wife cheated. Not even her first time cheating too. Sister is.....NTA she wanted to prioritize herself and that ended up unearthing how disgusting the wife was. If I was in her situation I wouldn't feel the slightest bit of guilt. Ofc I'd be sad for my brother but still. Better open the box early than after the baby grows up
Every time someone decides to come clean and claim it only happened once just screams "This is the only thing you can prove, so let's just go with it" That said, hope the best for the guys in the first story, hope OP steps up to be there for his brother and nephew.
Trust in a relationship needs to be constantly built and validated through your actions instead of your words. You can't just say "okay i trust you" and then never question them on anything ever again until it blows up in your face. Obviously always questioning and accusing is very bad, but so is blindly trusting when they aren't regularly giving you a reason to trust.
I always tell my wife trust is earned. If I ever ask for a paternity test and she goes “WHAT!?” I’m giving her the side eyes and go through with it even faster. None of that bs. You SHOULD want to prove your undying loyalty to your partner..
that comes up so often it seems "once i got pregnant i knew i only wanted to be with you " that's a pretty big problem given that she frigging married him years prior in my mind infidellity must be a criminal offense, and AP's that should have known better despite denying knowledge of the marriage should be fined for upwards of 10k over it as well
If the kid is really just a few months old, he should fight to get off the birth certificate so he isn't stuck paying for it for 18 years. They've only been married a few months, so maybe he could even get it anulled. He's an absolute idiot for seeking custody of the affair baby, but at least he's divorcing the cheating fraud.
The story made it pretty clear the guy didn’t want the kid to suffer, if he doesn’t take it, the kid goes to a mom who’s going to die soon and then it’ll go to some random people who he won’t ever see as real parents, best case scenario for the kid is for OPs brother to fight for custody
@burtreynolds8030 I see what you're talking about, but most people wouldn't keep the baby since it's a reminder that his wife cheated. Neither choice is wrong here though.
Affair partner is the father. (Hope op brother is not so stupid to believe the only cheated once lie). Have that one take care of the child @@burtreynolds8030
story 1: i mean,idgaf if she is a cancer patient or a human from the adromenda galaxy but cheating is still cheating story 2:its a blessing in disguise bc she saved you alot of time
Hopefully the cheating wife has life insurance so at the very least the payout will help their son and her husband. She at least owe them that for her betrayal.
Good luck getting custody, i knew a man in a similar situation trying to get custody of a child he raised but wasn't biologically his, at first the judge straight up told him he wasn't the biological dad so the mom would get custody, he eventually got custody, but that was only because the mom was a proven unfit parent
the brother needs to leave the dam child and move out of wherever he is ffs. those who say... its your son because you was there from his brith.... dude its to his child and his life with that woman was a lie... the family was A lie
At the end of the day it's the dude's choice, and on top of that regardless of the woman's faults the child is innocent. I wouldnt want to see that child raised by the family that spawned that woman and that's likely where it'd wind up if the biodad is a deadbeat(shit,that might wind up worse than the grandparents)
@@Wikke3137 fair point… im harsh with my words but the men who stay after finding out are built differently and I can show some level of respect towards them for their action.
Why cheater always want to downplay their cheating when the truth already out? She claimed they only doing it once, but then the guy still around for a long time. I bet she gets drilled a lot more often. Is downplaying the amount of cheating make them feel less guilty?
dude, lawyer girls are not all bad eggs but it certainly is one of those professions where infidelity thrives. and there is truth to the "women only date up" stereotype even if though subjective and not universal. she imagined her life with fellow lawyer to be AP and compared it with op and decided to basically just have a relationship with her lawyer "friend" oh but don't worry, see neither of them is going to trust the other later on, they'd either work together and bring all work bs home with them, or work for different firms (most likely given the need to specialise) and will both be on edge over late nights at the office. if they don't start cheating on eachother during their studies allready
Why did the brother want to keep the affair baby? There's no way I'd have that financial burden, i guess i could sue AP for child support but i wouldn't pay a dime towards someone else's child
@@shadywolf6042who said the bio dad sucks it was just stated he didn’t have enough money so the wife didn’t choose him. He deserve to be in his kid life. The husband deserve to have his own family
@@devinetaemidgett4647 well for someone to sleep with a married woman you kinda have to suck. I mean I didn't say the guy was a bad guy just meant his morals aren't the best ya know?
@@shadywolf6042 I agree his morals was wrong but we all fail morally one way or another his folly of adultery shouldn’t determine if another man should raise his kid.
Pickle Rick it isn't the babies fault why blame a child for the mothers actions also a lot of men raise kids not biologically related to them ever heard of adoption not all men think like you and are happy to raise a kid that isn't theirs
I wouldn't raise a child who is born being trample on my emotions im not a saint . I don't understand why that man is taking custody and i don't even want to understand for me this man is just a emotional fool . I just hope he don't regret this decision of his in future.
*story 1: in this specific example think of fraudster having cances as ther karma for her bad deeds* just because someone has a deadly heath problem doesnt mean you need to automatically have sympathy for them. Sometimes health/life problems are just a manifestation of karma.
I had a room mate who was a mess of a person, psychologically and morally. He said he had cancer. Never showed any signs of cancer or chemo. I seriously doubt he had it.
Why press further after the brother said not to worry about it anymore? If the brother figured out the scam and wants him to mind his own business that should be the end of it
He can feel bad for him of course its a horrible situation but he shouldn't feel guilty for letting an adult make a decision and the fact is he couldn't have forced him to do anything even if he had wanted to
Cuz it's his child, not a dog? You can't just ship away a child after loving it for years. A parent's unconditional love for a child doesn't just go away when finding out you don't share DNA. Besides, we don't know the age of the child, but they got him after 1 year of marriage and the OP mentions multiple time that they've been married "for years" and "for such a long time" and even the bio dad had the time between conception to getting a girlfriend and married in that time. I guess he's probably between 3-7 years old, since OP also mentioned he's unaware of what's going on cuz of "being so young." I'm making that estimate because my 7.5 years old starts becoming aware of her surrounding a lot more than half a year ago. Either way, his son and him love eachother. Shipping the child away for a clean start will damage both father and child for life.
"I don't know what could have happened." You asked for a paternity test, you know what happened. Even if that wasn't the case, you would have a good idea that it was part of what was going on.
This guy's brother is the A. I was on his side until he denied the child time with their dying mother. Also don't know where OP is but without a court ordered custody arrangement, he doesn't have the right to determine how often the child sees their mother and cannot make that decision (at least in the US.)
Story 2: OP, you deserve a smack to the noggin for forgiving your ex the first time she cheated. That should have been a deal breaker right there and then. Plus, the fact she is living it up with her AP after the divorce clearly shows she is the kind of person that wants to eat her cake and still have it later. Yeah, I agree, I think the only reason she married you was for the thrill of flipping her parents the proverbial middle finger. Even so, if that was the case, then why not do that with the AP to begin with? OP, while I say it's not your fault your marriage failed, I DO say you are to blame for forgiving and sticking with her after she cheated, cause that made her think she can stomp all over your boundaries without any fear of consequences. Do not make that mistake again if you want to start dating again, emphasis on "if".
I'm gonna be a-hole and point out that he's only known that child for a few months and he is NOT his son. He needs to let go. He still has a life ahead of him, so why willingly become a single stepfather? And one that co-parents with his ex's AP?
I was so sure the story would have at least o e more update - that the SIL did NOT have cancer and never did. That her "cancer diagnosis" was simply another scam.
Maybe I'm more pessimistic than i thought, but i thought that the SIL in the first story had even found a way to fake having cancer somehow. They never confirmed it by the end of the story, but I'm still sticking with that
What I don't rly understand is why the father fought so hard for custody of a child that wasn't even his, when that custody itself was making his life hard. I get that he had developed a bond and possibily only saw the child as his son regardless of DNA, and probably if he didn't do anything the child would be in a terrible situation considering the biological parents, but at one point one must be selfish and let go of responsibilities that really aren't theirs anymore. Also, I know nothing of legal matters, but would the court give him full custody in a battle even when he's not the bio parent?
How do you cheat by "mistake." You have to decide to meet the person, decide to get undressed, decide to have sex with them. What is there to "explain?"
Its funny how you cannot annull the marriage and sue the cheater when its clearly fraud. They clearly ticked you into marrying you. You can sue for paternity fraud but why can't you sue for marriage fraud.Its unfair that these unemployed gold diggers can take your hard earned money upon divorce.
You need to know these facts: my parents met in January, wed in February, and had me in December. All in same year. Together until mom died decades later. So, say what you will, it's not a hard and fast rule. Especially in a small town [mom's sis did same thing, except their year started 45 weeks before my cousin's b-day.]
Because he is a good man and good men are OK with raising kids that are not biologically related to them also it isn't the kids fault why punish the kid for the mothers actions
@@Twilight24682I disagree wholeheartedly a real takes care of his own children and don’t tolerate disrespect for a woman and the ultimate disrespect is raising an affair baby.
The random capitalized words in the second story bother me a lot tbh. Like, when he writes "I wish I weren't that Stupid" i'm like, yeah i wish that too you didn't even properly learn how to spell
Math problem: pregnancy happens in first year(after 1 yr in full?) of marriage, pregnancy 9 months, Baby 6 months. So this marriage is barely over 2 yrs. Depending on first year comment in the 1-2 yr range and yet OP repeatedly refers to marriage as YEARS--"so many years"(yes, I realize anything more than 1 is plural-but that is not the Intent of use here).
op says poor "kid" is blissfully unaware....um the kid should still be under one year(and OP is referring to him as baby in the next breath). This story is so ridiculous that I can only ask for BETTER editors
This is what happens when a man is just happy to be in a relationship. Most likely she was hot, good in bed, and he felt “lucky” to have her. This was a “HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE” type of guy. He was repaid with raising another man’s child. Don’t avoid red flags or rumors. He did both and we see the results.
Why he is a good man who doesn't want to punish a child for the actions of his mother also he has raised him have you heard of adoption plenty of men adopt and raise kids not biologically related to them not all people think like you
Why would it be a punishment for a child to be with his biological father. The man committed adultery not murder. Adoption is children that are given up not paternity fraud.The man has every right to his child as long as he’s not abusive.
@@devinetaemidgett4647 How do you know the bio father isn't abusive or a shitty father not all fathers are good and if the bio dad was a good dad he would have tried to find the child clearly he didn't also the kid knows this guy he doesn't know his bio dad why send him with someone he does not know
@@Twilight24682 The wife lied and said the baby was the husbands. Everyone is a victim of her lies. The man can build a bond with his child it’s never too late. The only negative thing that was said was he didn’t make as much as him. The man was good enough for the wife to step out on her husband for he should be good enough to given the opportunity to raise his kid. Thank you for the discussion too.
What's the point of getting divorced and Puting a dying woman in such misery when the wanted to keep the kid anyways and you taking care of him anyways... It doesn't make sense specifically when the biological father wanted the kid
The baby is 6 months its best to let his biological father raise him. There will be conflicts down the line after he has raised this kid and he finds out the truth. He will never have any mental peace of mind even though he loves this baby.
Story 1: While it might sound terrible to only allow someone dying from cancer supervised visits with her own child, there's good reason for it. There has been countless cases of dying parents who decide to take their own children with them in death rather than to let their ex have them. Being terminally ill can make even otherwise sane people do crazy things, and the cheating woman in this story was obviously not well in her head even to begin with, so.. yeah. Supervised visits is a must.
Not to mention, I'm afraid of a secret plot to have the kid run off with bio dad, or her parents...
@@antithoughtpolice7497 Oh for sure, I didn't even think about that. That's definitely a real possibility when someone is terminal and wants to spite the ex for not forgiving their infidelity. All too often are children used as pawns or weapons in divcorces or domestic disputes, and add to that someone losing their mind because they're terminally ill.. yeah, supervised visits only is the only safe way to do it.
i thought it was more terrible that it was only once a week
I know this one woman who was cuckoo for Coco puffs who's kids were taken away because she was a druggie and was living with her pimp (she was a prostitute and the father of her kid was a drug dealer) she was a mess when it happened, locked herself in the bathroom threatening to kill both herself and her son (think the kid was barely a year old, maybe younger? Forgot how old he was) her pimp busted down the door and helped the police get her away from the baby (pimp might have been a drug dealer lord and had a whole stable of prostitutes but he did care about his kids and family) his sisters ended up with the kid (and the next two after that one.) So I understand that the woman in the video might take her kid with her.
as someone with cancer, may I say that this comment is just ignorant. We're not likely to go "crazy," we're as mentally stable as anyone else, and we're not more likely to harm our families.
Brother: None of your business.
Mate it become OP’s business when you asked her to be the guardian.
And when everything is the result of her request.
He was just being emotional and most likely haven't sort out his own feelings probably just act out of common sense/auto pilot. He did end up telling OP everything after he calmed down
We need mandatory paternity and maternity test to be able to register a baby fr.
Edit because it seems that TH-cam has hidden my other answer. Yes, I said maternity test, because once out of the womb a baby can be changed/stolen. Only take a distracted/tires nurse. So yes, it is good to do a maternity test to make sure that the baby you brought home is really yours. It would also save a woman from being humiliated by the implicit accusation of infidelity and the judgment of others if both maternity and paternity tests are mandatory and are done together as a requirement to register a child. It would also prevent couples from breaking up. Women consider separation in those situations.
Agreed. It would help with accidental hospital swaps too, and the costs are minimal these days.
@@kevinsullivan2153 Yes. We tend to assume that a child belongs to the woman because she carried it, but we are not aware of how common the theft of babies for trafficking or accidental exchanges is. A distracted nurse is what it takes. Plus, it can save a lot of relationships.
I think that in general the majority of women believe that it should be mandatory (this is the feeling I get when talking to women in my environment and in conversations I read in online women's spaces). We understand that a man cannot be 100% sure because he does not go through pregnancy. Now, none of us like the accusation between the lines of infidelity for no reason.
If I saw myself in that situation I would let him take the test, and when the result came back I would separate/request a divorce. I respect myself too much to be with someone who doesn't trust me or is willing to put me in the humiliating situation of being judged by the people who take those tests (I've read enough reddit threads to know how the women who went through that felt).
That is why I am in favor of the test, but only after the baby is born (of course, I believe that by law a woman should be obliged to return the money if she has lied to a man during pregnancy and he has paid for things related to the baby ).
This way, no one would raise a child that is not theirs, no one would go through the trauma of discovering that those people you love are not your biological parents, whether in adulthood or childhood, and a couple would not break up over having to ask for it, because if the government makes it mandatory, the need to require the test ceases to exist. Win win.
Omg, too much text. Sorry!
... mandatory maternity ? Why ? TO make sure the baby from your wife womb is hers ????
@@inihilisme1511 It seems that TH-cam has hidden a long comment that I left earlier responding to the first answer. I basically said that once out of the womb a baby can be changed/stolen. So yes, it is good to do a maternity test to make sure that the baby you brought home is really yours. It would also save a woman from being humiliated by the implicit accusation of infidelity and the judgment of others if both maternity and paternity tests are mandatory and are done together as a requirement to register a child. It would also prevent couples from breaking up. Women consider separation in those situations.
How is it that being honest is what "ruins the marriage" and not the fact that they're liars, manipulators and adulterers?
Best wishes for the brother in the 1st story. Hope he manages to find a loving, faithful wife have children of his own with her someday.
Story 1 reminds me of one I heard a while back where the mans wife passed away and left him a letter, in the letter she confessed that their 10 year old son might not be his as she was unfaithful and turns out he’s not.
Story 1. Wife has a reputation and many many people are warning brother about her. He still goes through it. Years later learns the truth. As a spiteful person id look straight at my brother in the eyes and repeatedly say "I told you so. I told you so" "I and many others warned you but nooooooo"
Absolutely 1000% NTA. The wife is scum and the sister's skepticism saved the poor husband from living a lie.
She actually did it perfectly, whether she intended it or not. She kept silent that whole time they were in the "honeymoon phase". If she had said something or pushed her brother in any way, the brother would not listen at all, and then years later he probably wouldn't have asked his sister to be the legal guardian. The fact that she just kept her head and intervened at JUST the right time was great. Well, I mean, great despite the circumstances.
I bet if it's a brother that told him to get that test, he will immediately getting labeled misogynistic
@@kos2919Maybe, it didn't change the outcome of the DNA test.
I would argue shes the hero of sthe story lol, let alone the asshole. She saved her brother from a lifetime of lies. Imagine if his wife had died and he continued caring for a child that wasn't even his?
NTA
You didn't ruin their marriage, she ruined their marriage because she doesn't know the meaning of loyalty
Also getting cancer sounds like she received karma for cheating
As for some women to be asked for pateriny test is an insult (as it implies they cheated) and can lead to a divorce because of lack of trust from their partner, this guy did everything right. He did the test in secret without pushing his wife. Pity that this one was indeed a cheater. This guy deserves better.
Any argument a wife makes about how her husband should just trust her implicitly as his wife completely falls apart when you consider that the state of being someone's wife has clearly never once been a foolproof way to prevent an affair from happening. If anything, making that argument casts more suspicion on her, not less.
Honestly, it should be standard practice for every single married man with children to get a paternity test done.
@@radicaldreamer927
Also it wouldn't hurt for mothers to get a maternity test on the off chance that the baby got mixed up in the hospital...
Apparently that happens a lot more often than you'd think...
@@diamondseraph9369 Agreed. Shit happens, and hospitals are by no means infallible.
Yeah, outside of that one story I've had personal experiences where a dude thought a kid wasn't his and multiple paternity tests proved otherwise. Those always suck because now the wife realizes her husband doesn't trust her and there's no reason being in a relationship like that.
Just paternity test at the hospital while those services are readily available, get it out of the way asap.
@@readerdragon7783 Quite frankly, that says more about the wife than the husband. If she did cheat, and she doesn't come clean, how else is the husband supposed to find out besides a paternity test? Sheer happenstance? The fact that she didn't cheat isn't the point. If any wife reacts this way it speaks to a severe lack of empathy for the position that men are in. In that case, she should probably do some introspection before she can confidently say she's ready for a romantic relationship in the first place.
Story 1 is a prime example to listen to others when they say the same thing about someone or something. If people keep saying or hearing something that happened with an individual that was true, it's always good to go find out fully what happened and how.
People who are doctors or nurses make fraud/false paternity test results deserve to lose their license in the medical field for good. Not only did they screw with someone's life, but the child involved in life as well.
A cheater is a cheater, a liar is a liar, and scammers are all scammers. Even if they have regrets of their actions, that doesn't stop anyone from doubting they would do it again, nor would it be forgotten.
I have a saying : if one guy call you a horse, you can flip him off, if everybody is calling you a horse, you should go buy a saddle !
So if everybody is telling you someone is shady, this person is probably shady
The OP said "Used to be a nurse" so yeah she probably lost it.
@@yozarahirvi4750 yup the brother literally brought it on himself. at a certain point you need to take accountability and responsibility of your own stupidity
Story 2 is a perfect example of why cheating is unforgivable and relationship-ending.
You DON'T give cheaters a second chance. EVER.
Exactly. Because they'll never learn from their mistakes.
@@Gothgeek1997a mistake is something unintentional, they choose to be a horrible person.
I dont agree while I say you shouldn't risk it like all crimes there is a chance they will learn it depends largely on how it's found out and how they react.
Again its a big risk don't recommend it I'd sooner recommend high stakes gambling
@@kingthe13😂😂 no they won’t cheaters never learn from there mistakes they will always do it again
@@Mitchell2311 theres always exceptions
The brother wanting full custody even if the kid isn't his is so wholesome ngl
I thought it showed how stupid the brother was.
I mean.. when you take care of a child for years you don't just throw the kid away after finding out they're not biologically yours. The child is just as much the victim in this. It actually surprises me that there's multiple reddit stories where the fathers never wanted to see their kids again after finding out they're not biologically theirs. Even kids who're teenagers already. I understand the pain of the lie, but this is the child you loved unconditionally for years. If that love just goes away after finding out their DNA doesn't match yours then you weren't really loving them in the first place imo.
@Nathan_Bookwurm yep. But you got people going, "but the relationship was built on a lie" and such. America and many other countries were built on slavery, does that make them any less of what they are now. I respect people significantly more who do this compared to those who do what they are supposed to do.
@@Nathan_Bookwurmyou’re only looking at it from his perspective and how “sweet it is”. I’d be pissed if someone else was raising my kid and that my kid had their last name. That is not his kid. It’s the other man’s.
@@Nathan_Bookwurm The kid was only a few months old in this story. Considering the morality of the kids bio parents, guy was thinking of the kid. Seriously, the mom got someone in the hospital to break multiple laws.
Shocking, once a cheater always a cheater. Listen to the warnings from others and thier past.
Nah brothers wife helped her friend trick her husband for years and then hid the truth from your brother as well.. OP you didn’t ruin their marriage, she did but she just never thought she’d be caught. You did him a favour really. Cancer or no cancer, her lies and betrayal are still terrible
Cheaters always want to blame anyone but themselves
Being sick and possibly dying, shouldn't absolve you from the consequences of your actions.
1st story) I don't understand how people can feel guilty in these situations. The wife cheated. Not even her first time cheating too. Sister is.....NTA she wanted to prioritize herself and that ended up unearthing how disgusting the wife was. If I was in her situation I wouldn't feel the slightest bit of guilt. Ofc I'd be sad for my brother but still. Better open the box early than after the baby grows up
Every time someone decides to come clean and claim it only happened once just screams "This is the only thing you can prove, so let's just go with it"
That said, hope the best for the guys in the first story, hope OP steps up to be there for his brother and nephew.
Trust in a relationship needs to be constantly built and validated through your actions instead of your words. You can't just say "okay i trust you" and then never question them on anything ever again until it blows up in your face. Obviously always questioning and accusing is very bad, but so is blindly trusting when they aren't regularly giving you a reason to trust.
I always tell my wife trust is earned.
If I ever ask for a paternity test and she goes “WHAT!?” I’m giving her the side eyes and go through with it even faster. None of that bs.
You SHOULD want to prove your undying loyalty to your partner..
that comes up so often it seems "once i got pregnant i knew i only wanted to be with you "
that's a pretty big problem given that she frigging married him years prior
in my mind infidellity must be a criminal offense, and AP's that should have known better despite denying knowledge of the marriage should be fined for upwards of 10k over it as well
Lol "Mind your own business" in response to OP giving you the correct advice and opening your eyes to your wife's infidelity.
If the kid is really just a few months old, he should fight to get off the birth certificate so he isn't stuck paying for it for 18 years.
They've only been married a few months, so maybe he could even get it anulled.
He's an absolute idiot for seeking custody of the affair baby, but at least he's divorcing the cheating fraud.
The story made it pretty clear the guy didn’t want the kid to suffer, if he doesn’t take it, the kid goes to a mom who’s going to die soon and then it’ll go to some random people who he won’t ever see as real parents, best case scenario for the kid is for OPs brother to fight for custody
@burtreynolds8030 I see what you're talking about, but most people wouldn't keep the baby since it's a reminder that his wife cheated. Neither choice is wrong here though.
Affair partner is the father. (Hope op brother is not so stupid to believe the only cheated once lie). Have that one take care of the child @@burtreynolds8030
Yep!
Doormat Op's brother. Never accept kid who ain't your seed.
@@loneghostNot much of a doormat if he divorced her in the end.
story 1: i mean,idgaf if she is a cancer patient or a human from the adromenda galaxy but cheating is still cheating
story 2:its a blessing in disguise bc she saved you alot of time
Hopefully the cheating wife has life insurance so at the very least the payout will help their son and her husband. She at least owe them that for her betrayal.
Story 2: Do. Not. Forgive. Cheaters. If they did it once they WILL do it again, its THAT simple.
Story 2 is the perfect example of how someone will literally waste ur time if u let them. Important lesson learned.
Good luck getting custody, i knew a man in a similar situation trying to get custody of a child he raised but wasn't biologically his, at first the judge straight up told him he wasn't the biological dad so the mom would get custody, he eventually got custody, but that was only because the mom was a proven unfit parent
the brother needs to leave the dam child and move out of wherever he is ffs. those who say... its your son because you was there from his brith.... dude its to his child and his life with that woman was a lie... the family was A lie
At the end of the day it's the dude's choice, and on top of that regardless of the woman's faults the child is innocent. I wouldnt want to see that child raised by the family that spawned that woman and that's likely where it'd wind up if the biodad is a deadbeat(shit,that might wind up worse than the grandparents)
@@Wikke3137 fair point… im harsh with my words but the men who stay after finding out are built differently and I can show some level of respect towards them for their action.
Story never said bio dad was a deadbeat only she chose op because he had the ability to support her better.
@@luksvlogs1201well he's not staying with mother, he's just raising the child as his own. I think it really does speak to the sort of man he is.
All I can say is that karma hits and it hits hard😂
You didn’t ruin their marriage. She did.
You did him a favour you warned him he ignored you and you pushed him to face the truth. He can be mad but you saved him a future of pain.
Why cheater always want to downplay their cheating when the truth already out? She claimed they only doing it once, but then the guy still around for a long time. I bet she gets drilled a lot more often. Is downplaying the amount of cheating make them feel less guilty?
She loves him now? Well you can’t tell someone you ever loved them then go behind their back and cheat on them.
Honestly I'd rather have a GIF of some serene background or something I'm tired of Minecraft
Unless you're deaf, you don't need to stare at the minecraft stuff
@@C.G.Gaster😂
@@C.G.Gaster I wanna read along sometimes. I don't always but it sucks when I do
@@C.G.Gaster Some of us DO have hearing problems, I'm only 32 but I have 50 percent loss in my right ear and 45 in my left.
@@2muchjpop for you and the other guy, put the title in your browser search bar and just read it there
She got camcer for a reason lmaooo
Jokes on his brother for not looking into her reputation when they got together. A warning is a warning for a reason.
All they had was suspicions with no tangible proof to back it up.
dude, lawyer girls are not all bad eggs but it certainly is one of those professions where infidelity thrives. and there is truth to the "women only date up" stereotype even if though subjective and not universal. she imagined her life with fellow lawyer to be AP and compared it with op and decided to basically just have a relationship with her lawyer "friend"
oh but don't worry, see neither of them is going to trust the other later on, they'd either work together and bring all work bs home with them, or work for different firms (most likely given the need to specialise) and will both be on edge over late nights at the office. if they don't start cheating on eachother during their studies allready
Why did the brother want to keep the affair baby? There's no way I'd have that financial burden, i guess i could sue AP for child support but i wouldn't pay a dime towards someone else's child
He got attached I guess? I mean it's not the kid's fault that his bio parents suck
@@shadywolf6042who said the bio dad sucks it was just stated he didn’t have enough money so the wife didn’t choose him. He deserve to be in his kid life. The husband deserve to have his own family
@@devinetaemidgett4647 well for someone to sleep with a married woman you kinda have to suck. I mean I didn't say the guy was a bad guy just meant his morals aren't the best ya know?
@@shadywolf6042 I agree his morals was wrong but we all fail morally one way or another his folly of adultery shouldn’t determine if another man should raise his kid.
Pickle Rick it isn't the babies fault why blame a child for the mothers actions also a lot of men raise kids not biologically related to them ever heard of adoption not all men think like you and are happy to raise a kid that isn't theirs
I wouldn't raise a child who is born being trample on my emotions im not a saint . I don't understand why that man is taking custody and i don't even want to understand for me this man is just a emotional fool . I just hope he don't regret this decision of his in future.
*story 1: in this specific example think of fraudster having cances as ther karma for her bad deeds*
just because someone has a deadly heath problem doesnt mean you need to automatically have sympathy for them. Sometimes health/life problems are just a manifestation of karma.
The first story was so sad. Poor kid, Poor Brother and poor OP.
Was anyone else just waiting for the drop that she was faking her cancer?
I had a room mate who was a mess of a person, psychologically and morally. He said he had cancer. Never showed any signs of cancer or chemo. I seriously doubt he had it.
Why press further after the brother said not to worry about it anymore? If the brother figured out the scam and wants him to mind his own business that should be the end of it
Remember being skeptical once in a while really goes a long way.
He can feel bad for him of course its a horrible situation but he shouldn't feel guilty for letting an adult make a decision and the fact is he couldn't have forced him to do anything even if he had wanted to
first guy brother is a chump for still wanting that kid
I’d say he’s a real man for putting his ego aside to give the kid the best outcome
@@burtreynolds8030 the kid bio dad is alive
@@burtreynolds8030raising an affair baby doesn’t make you a real man it makes him a simp
Never. Forgive. A. Cheater. They don't deserve it
Why is he going for full custody? The child is so young he can get off and have a clean new start.
Mom is likely to die, Cancer progressed to stage 3, and bio dad is likely not a good person.
@@Olimar92😂😂
Cuz it's his child, not a dog? You can't just ship away a child after loving it for years. A parent's unconditional love for a child doesn't just go away when finding out you don't share DNA. Besides, we don't know the age of the child, but they got him after 1 year of marriage and the OP mentions multiple time that they've been married "for years" and "for such a long time" and even the bio dad had the time between conception to getting a girlfriend and married in that time. I guess he's probably between 3-7 years old, since OP also mentioned he's unaware of what's going on cuz of "being so young." I'm making that estimate because my 7.5 years old starts becoming aware of her surrounding a lot more than half a year ago. Either way, his son and him love eachother. Shipping the child away for a clean start will damage both father and child for life.
@@Nathan_Bookwurm love your reply
Because Op's brother is a du"" doormat. Who deserved everything he went through ,he has no Spine no self respect.
"I don't know what could have happened." You asked for a paternity test, you know what happened. Even if that wasn't the case, you would have a good idea that it was part of what was going on.
Was thinking the Same
denial is a hell of a drug
I think they meant that asking for the paternity test in general could have resulted in a divorce
They could just be fighting over tue request.
NEVER let them become a SAHM in 2024
This guy's brother is the A. I was on his side until he denied the child time with their dying mother. Also don't know where OP is but without a court ordered custody arrangement, he doesn't have the right to determine how often the child sees their mother and cannot make that decision (at least in the US.)
Story 1: Those rumors were way too specific to not heed, bro...
Anyone else know the instrumental in the background? It sounds wonderful.
Story 2: OP, you deserve a smack to the noggin for forgiving your ex the first time she cheated. That should have been a deal breaker right there and then. Plus, the fact she is living it up with her AP after the divorce clearly shows she is the kind of person that wants to eat her cake and still have it later. Yeah, I agree, I think the only reason she married you was for the thrill of flipping her parents the proverbial middle finger. Even so, if that was the case, then why not do that with the AP to begin with?
OP, while I say it's not your fault your marriage failed, I DO say you are to blame for forgiving and sticking with her after she cheated, cause that made her think she can stomp all over your boundaries without any fear of consequences. Do not make that mistake again if you want to start dating again, emphasis on "if".
I'm gonna be a-hole and point out that he's only known that child for a few months and he is NOT his son. He needs to let go. He still has a life ahead of him, so why willingly become a single stepfather? And one that co-parents with his ex's AP?
The bio dad deserves this child.
I was so sure the story would have at least o e more update - that the SIL did NOT have cancer and never did. That her "cancer diagnosis" was simply another scam.
Maybe I'm more pessimistic than i thought, but i thought that the SIL in the first story had even found a way to fake having cancer somehow. They never confirmed it by the end of the story, but I'm still sticking with that
What I don't rly understand is why the father fought so hard for custody of a child that wasn't even his, when that custody itself was making his life hard. I get that he had developed a bond and possibily only saw the child as his son regardless of DNA, and probably if he didn't do anything the child would be in a terrible situation considering the biological parents, but at one point one must be selfish and let go of responsibilities that really aren't theirs anymore. Also, I know nothing of legal matters, but would the court give him full custody in a battle even when he's not the bio parent?
SSM (Strong Successful Male) would have smacked the hell out of OP2.
Stage 2 liver cancer? What goes aroind comes around huh
Op didn't ruin your marraige girl YOU did
As Saul Goodman once said, “A guy with cancer can’t be an asshole?”
In this case, it’s a woman with cancer
How do you cheat by "mistake." You have to decide to meet the person, decide to get undressed, decide to have sex with them. What is there to "explain?"
Second story: congratulations you played yourself
Not having a paternity test at birth... probably also driving without seatbelt and eats gas station sushi
Story 1: Not his son, not her nephew, people should stop deluding themselves like that.
Custody of his "son" yet it's not his 😂😂😂
No matter how bad u feel it dont matter. Cancer or nah, shes a coward. Nothing more. Now that she has cancer she wants someone 💀
I fell bad for the brother i just hope he loves the child with all his love even with his stress
At 8:21 there is a very gruf "I" like batman started talking and i havent see anyone mention it yet lol
umm if she was close to passing away, he could have let het visit her son more often.
It’s a short time marriage. She will get very little. It’s not his son .
Alpha f, beta bucks
The son is less than one years old let go he does not remember nothing
does anyone know the op/source for the first story?
Are both parents’ consent required for a paternity test?
Pall, the only person that failed the boy is the mother.
Why would anyone want a kid that’s not yours. ?
At least the child isn't his so she can't get child support
so not his son, but wants full custody?
Its funny how you cannot annull the marriage and sue the cheater when its clearly fraud. They clearly ticked you into marrying you. You can sue for paternity fraud but why can't you sue for marriage fraud.Its unfair that these unemployed gold diggers can take your hard earned money upon divorce.
The streets have no reason to lie
best commentor from tell tales here: i like audi cars and i like tell tales, thanks for reading and take a cookie :)
12:25 whys there a pizza in minecraft?
anyone who gets married within a year ends up unhappy. said what i said.
You need to know these facts: my parents met in January, wed in February, and had me in December. All in same year. Together until mom died decades later. So, say what you will, it's not a hard and fast rule. Especially in a small town [mom's sis did same thing, except their year started 45 weeks before my cousin's b-day.]
Why would he fight for custody for a kid that isn't his? What a waste.
He still loved the child and was worried that it might come to harm if either biological parent had custody.
I don't understand why her brother want to keep not his child.
Because he is a good man and good men are OK with raising kids that are not biologically related to them also it isn't the kids fault why punish the kid for the mothers actions
@@Twilight24682 Still there is his biological father who can take care of him and what he is doing is just stupid.
@Gwynbleidd21
What if his biological father is not a good man What if he is abusive or an alcoholic you don't know the father
@@Twilight24682I disagree wholeheartedly a real takes care of his own children and don’t tolerate disrespect for a woman and the ultimate disrespect is raising an affair baby.
Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. Furthermore, if they cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you
The random capitalized words in the second story bother me a lot tbh.
Like, when he writes "I wish I weren't that Stupid" i'm like, yeah i wish that too you didn't even properly learn how to spell
Story 1&2: Great examples of why men shouldn’t get married, these are the rule not the exception
Karma hit hard in the first story.
Manadate Independent Paternity Tests!
12:24 ALERT! Illegal MC Object Detected.
Math problem: pregnancy happens in first year(after 1 yr in full?) of marriage, pregnancy 9 months, Baby 6 months. So this marriage is barely over 2 yrs. Depending on first year comment in the 1-2 yr range and yet OP repeatedly refers to marriage as YEARS--"so many years"(yes, I realize anything more than 1 is plural-but that is not the Intent of use here).
op says poor "kid" is blissfully unaware....um the kid should still be under one year(and OP is referring to him as baby in the next breath). This story is so ridiculous that I can only ask for BETTER editors
This is what happens when a man is just happy to be in a relationship. Most likely she was hot, good in bed, and he felt “lucky” to have her. This was a “HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE” type of guy. He was repaid with raising another man’s child. Don’t avoid red flags or rumors. He did both and we see the results.
Nah not my kid, want nothing to do with it or her
The brother keeping the child is dumb. He should have giving the baby to his father and started his own family.
Why he is a good man who doesn't want to punish a child for the actions of his mother also he has raised him have you heard of adoption plenty of men adopt and raise kids not biologically related to them not all people think like you
Why would it be a punishment for a child to be with his biological father. The man committed adultery not murder. Adoption is children that are given up not paternity fraud.The man has every right to his child as long as he’s not abusive.
@@devinetaemidgett4647
How do you know the bio father isn't abusive or a shitty father not all fathers are good and if the bio dad was a good dad he would have tried to find the child clearly he didn't also the kid knows this guy he doesn't know his bio dad why send him with someone he does not know
@@Twilight24682 The wife lied and said the baby was the husbands. Everyone is a victim of her lies. The man can build a bond with his child it’s never too late. The only negative thing that was said was he didn’t make as much as him. The man was good enough for the wife to step out on her husband for he should be good enough to given the opportunity to raise his kid. Thank you for the discussion too.
@@Twilight24682because that’s HIS FATHER. His bio dad is the only one who has legal rights to the child
13:36 if this is me, I am sipping tea.
What's the point of getting divorced and Puting a dying woman in such misery when the wanted to keep the kid anyways and you taking care of him anyways... It doesn't make sense specifically when the biological father wanted the kid
Its not his son run 😅
The baby is 6 months its best to let his biological father raise him. There will be conflicts down the line after he has raised this kid and he finds out the truth. He will never have any mental peace of mind even though he loves this baby.