Yes your absolutely right. Once an abuser always an abuser. My exhusbands mask didnt slip for 10 years. I knew he had hit his 1st wife but he stopped drinking before we got together and was sober. I assumed it was something that only the drinking brought out in him. He was an amazing husband and father....until he wasnt. Unless they get help and possibly medication they WILL abuse again. Its just a matter of time. One day when he was at work I packed up everything I could get into my car including my daughter and I put 4 states between us. NEVER try to leave while they are home. I know he would have either put me in the hospital or killed me. I was gone before he got home from work.
@@janalalewicz7385 Well done you.x Its not easy ,and it`s also very scary ,as you never know their reaction to you going.I`m so glad you got away.My ex was charm personified when we met ,and he fooled all my friends and family.He began with the stony silences and moments of pure anger/rage ,and then became both mentally and physically abusive.I had to leave as it was affecting my mental and physical health.You take care of you now ,and do whatever makes you and your daughter happy.It`s such a relief to not have anyone to answer to ,and be living on a knife edge.My trust in men is pretty much shattered though.Sending you love and hugs from across the pond.Stay safe and well.xx
This is true. This is what happens when you are going from one violent relationship to another. When you don’t care about yourself, when you feel weak, and confused, someone else will come in and try to love bomb you just like they did and use your situation to play the hero. If you don’t set boundaries or are codependent, all you do is attract unstable, codependent men. This message is hard but real life. Choose your boundaries and never let go of them!
Yes u just said everything what I was going threw.. I had my son sleep with me that night when my ex came home drunk and in drugs smelt like liquer!! He wanted sex.. but I refused my son was next to me!! He grabbed me to the floor and beat the top of head my poor son woke up up screaming and crying.. I was trying to calm my ex and to stop him!! But he had the demon on him.. so I escaped and call the law.. and I never went back to him...
Yes I hope ur living ur life so much better as well ..I want to thank you Cherry.. Tonight went to a family gathering. It was a nephew graduation party. Omg!! We had a wonderfull time together dancing takeing pictures..I haven't seen them In awhile..But now, we will stay in contact..🙏🏼💖🥰
@@salma_Nella22 My son's dad past away , overdosed on some drug.. I went to his funeral his sis. And brother was happy to see there. I forgave my ex.. it was drugs that took over him.. you have to forgive the peaple that does u harm... 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I left my very abusive ( physical, mental, emotional) husband. Together 24yrs and 6 kids. I gave my life to Jesus. Without my husband in my daily life, I've completely surrendered to God and have drawn closer to Him. I attend church, read Bible and pray. I'm in total awe & tears of joy everyday for how God has got me through this. Supernatural peace, strength & provider. God is healing & restoring me to a better version. I keep my husband in my prayers and leave it in God's hand now. GLORY BE TO GOD!🙏🛐🙌❤ I will keep searching for ways to share my testimony. And I pray for those that read it will come to Jesus and you too will find refuge in Him. I ask this in Jesus name, 🙏
Yes I read the Bible, Jeasus was my best friend.. my ex stop hurting me for 2 years went by. So I decided to get pregnant, thought that he changed... When my son was 2 years old and very smart.. my ex came home... Drunk ass hell, and in drugs again!! He beat the top of my head. And my poor son was screaming!! That night I called the cops and never ever went back to him!! I left him forever got a devorced from him!! It took me about 12 years when I decided to get pregnant.. cause he stop hurting me for 3 years.. And he started doing drugs again and beat me in front of my son!! I left him and never went back!!!
Very raw and gritty. The acting was really good. The therapist wasn’t very realistic or professional but I suppose there are some therapists out there like him unfortunately.
I'm about 13 minutes in & I couldn't believe this therapist! NO therapist would advise an abuse victim to TELL their abuser that they are seeing a shrink!!
@@BeegirlsHoneyHouse that made no sense. She said not all therapists are like that. Meaning she doesn’t agree with how he is and doesn’t want people to think they’re all like this. Think outside of your emotions
Wait? What? Am I the only one who is infuriated with the counselor for being WAY WAY WAY inappropriate. ? Behavior of just ANOTHER man to take advantage of her. Ugh. I expected the comment section to be full of it. Anyone reading this. This is NOT the way a counselor should behave with you.
@Liz B umm yes it does matter. Wtf. A story is a story and you can’t let your guard down with therapists either. You shouldn’t let your guard down with ANYONE. A police officer, a Janitor, a teacher, a pastor. NOBODY
@Liz B i read well enough. You’re basically saying that they’re trying to paint therapists in a dysfunctional light. That this isn’t how therapists work. Guess what…. Therapists can actually be this manipulative. So can police officers. So can teachers. You think this is going to discourage people from going to therapy? Common sense says that abuse can come from anyone no matter what their title is. No matter what their degree is. It is important to see abuse in every direction, not just the way YOU deem is appropriate. This isn’t going to stop people from going to therapy. We all know that therapy is vital, but you can’t say that people don’t abuse their power. This is a hard reality for people.
@@salma_Nella22 Of course therapists can be manipulative! But I think what Liz B wanted to say is that in this film's context, the relationship between client and counselor is being shown as something natural, which it absolutely isn't!
Even if her husband isn´t abusing her daughters, is it still better is she leaves him. It is better to raise her daughters without a dad, then with him, because they still witness her being beaten up, which will damage them in the long run. They will raise up with the knowledge that it is okay to be abused, and that a man is only a real man if he controles his wive through that kind of abuse. They will never know what it is to have a normal, loving relationship. So run lady.
Mr. Smith was a creep. He betrayed any confidence that poor Lisa had in him. Personal feelings should never interfere with business and definitely not when someone should be offering a councelling service.
Its truly ashame how often this occurs that either the woman is abused or the man is abused. These movies are somewhat therapeutic because I was with my ex for 4 years and the abuse started little by little until he almost killed me one night. He was a sheriff deputy and we've finally located him and in the middle of a case with him and the department he had worked for. When I called several times, I was told I provoked him, or men can be jealous etc and never did anything. I didn't have family or friends near and was terrified to leave as he threatened harm onto my own family and I felt I was protecting them, in some sort of way. The last night, he had drank whiskey again, started with me at the bar, I walked home, fell asleep in the spare bedroom and he came in, calling me every name imaginable and then grabbed my ankle, I swung my other leg to kick him, before I was knocked out, woke up in the hallway with my own blood surrounding me on the carpet. I just laid there until morning, afraid to move, was in so much pain as he stepped over me, getting ready for work putting on the same uniform that is to serve and protect. As soon as he left, I called my boss and she came and took me to the hospital. He had shattered my left cheek bone, I had 8 hairline fractures on my left eye socket, muscle tissue in my left nasal cavity, a thick piece of skin from my top lips was stuck in my two front teeth and my right ring fingers tip was broken in two. I refused to say he did anything and this happened back in 2011, I still have horrific nightmares, night sweats, extreme PTSD and depression issues with acute anxiety attacks and am terrified to leave my own home alone. I've remarried since and the man I am with now and have been since 2016 has given me my wings back and although I feel my ex left me a mess, my strength is now to fight, now longer going to be his victim because I survived for a reason and after years of searching, a local prosecutor located him and with all medical documentation including photos, he will now pay for what he's done so no one else is hurt by him ever again.
Sometimes u feel like it's ur fault.. ur not being more beatifull or something is wrong with u? Ur dad was a wonderfull person to ur mom before he died.. so why is he treating me so bad?!?! A man that abuses you can make u feel so worthless . Makes u feel something is wrong with you..It's not true there the ones who are insecure with themselves.. There parents made them feel unloved!! So whoever is dealing with this!!! Hey away now!! All ur doing to ur kids is makeing them think that's ok.They will be living that same life if u don't get away!!!
Why are we so blinded by love? Or better yet. Why do we think our love will change them? Look, listen and learn! Any unwarrented aggression shown towards you or another human/animal should be your first and only needed warning! Also check the family history and behaviour for you can learn tons and spare yourself from harm, pain, humiliation and heartbreak.
Mr. Smith was also really really unprofessional. The moment he started to have feelings for her, he should have referred her to someone else. You cannot let your own feelings get in the way of your professional work.
There is no way on God's green earth that that counsellor would behave the way he did on her 2nd visit. Where he's inches away from her face, it's so intimate. This poor woman is terrified of her husband and quite likely all men at this point. She must be wondering who she can trust and would avoid the company of men especially on a 1-1 basis. Plus why did they chose a male counsellor to deal with a woman experiencing domestic violence. I've not seen that before and find it strange that a man would want to help or even feel comfortable talking about physical, sexual and emotional abuse. I can't get my head round this aspect of the short film. Is it just me? 20 years on and I still struggle to be around men that I don't know.
If a woman has to be with a man in a private room or place then the woman should bring someone with her. I don't trust men nor anyone . It's best to have someone with you as a witness. A woman who has gone through this is hurting lost herself is confused about who she is and life it self. She's not able to think clear she struggles with herself esteem the way she looks her feelings. She's beautiful but questions it not able to see herself. She's broken inside. A man is able to pick up on this and can take advantage of her. Woman who have gotten out of this shit I believe shouldn't date for a long time because healing is important. Stay safe .
In reality her husband won’t have allowed her to leave home in that black dress. Especially if he has jealousy issues controlling how you dress, who you see are pretty standard tactics by abusers. The therapist is just another type of abuser in a way he’s worse because he thinks he’s “saving” her and is nothing like her husband. This was so depressing and upsetting to watch.
I’m from Melbourne Australia & watching the ending of this movie how it spoke about the corona virus & England going into lockdown, struck me how many couples would argue, domestic violence on the increase, depression increasing, marriages breaking up. It made me think how small the houses are in England & people wouldn’t have space to breathe & virtually on each other backs. Here in melb australia we we locked up for a long time but at least we had the space in houses for one partner to be on one side of the house. I don’t know why but it angers me when I see women mentally & physically abused yet they won’t leave. I know that they are frighten & feel like it’s their fault at times but be strong & just leave before a domestic issue turns into murder. Always think of your children when your being abused because mentally it’s also happening to them
I've said it before I'll say a million more times, if a male hits a woman he's not a real man! You need to know you're valuable and deserve to be treated like a Queen,don't accept anything less!!
So the counselor is an abuser too? WTF? This was a weird story. The takeaway from this is never make a lifetime commitment to someone until you are 110% sure they will love and respect you in return.
Why do people think all abusers must look a certain way and have to be instantly abusive and expect them to notice instantly. Some abusers are initially very charming, with many supporters that reassure they are great people or least unproblematic. Which is worst than realizing instantly that they are abusers.
Does anyone realise you can live with someone for years and years and never know them? Or what they truly want from you we all loose our temper! But an abuser takes from you to feed his or her control over your life? Sex and the inadequacies too please little penises and or no idea how much they are useless to you? Control and you belong to me and totally jealous oppressiveness attitude they hold you down but they expect you to understand what they are doing too you? YOUR BETTER THAN THEM? And they answer you by being disrespectful violent abusive? Stay on your own sexual contact is a fantasy you don’t need in your lives? And once you give someone else your body and your life you open the door to anger?. Remember you will never know these people you have In trusted with your family friends children you just become a slave to their desires?
Sometimes people don't get help. Sometimes someone's so isolated from everyone and have no siblings and both parents died so what happens to that woman? The woman has no one
I am a woman Survivor of domestic violence I had to reach out to shelters and went to want to move to a different city it took a lot out of me I was blessed though my son is grown so I did not have to take him but his dad was also an abuser and I should have left him also but I didn't I divorced him several years later I met someone else I became homeless and was abused I've had enough and it took a lot out of me I had no family that was living or in the same state so I had to go to a shelter and then the rest is history been here for 2 years there is time so we're him but I had to learn to love myself more than him I always say my love for him has not changed but my love for myself has
There are a lot more options these days. There are shelters & the police legally can intervene now. It would surely be much harder to go it alone, but even if you have no children or family......YOU are worth getting & staying safe. No one deserves to be abused by someone who claims to love them.
My ex raped and beat me until one day we was in his car and he punched me in the chest so I stabbed in the leg he crashed his car and I stunt rolled and ran called the police now he’s behind bars
Concealer went way over the mark kissing his client what he did was wrong. She is being abused by her husband and is very vulnerable if he has feelings she needs to be referred on. Disgusting
When i was a kid, i saw the same situation at home. My mom was struggling with my stepdad , bitting her sometimes when he was drunk. Also i was bitten by him and she forgave him so often...ii hated her too for her weakness! That was horrible, really nightmare ! I never forgot it since then and i hate drunken men to see now and have Problem with relationships. Bevor i start a relationship, i end it up ..i find some reason ..sometimes it is so sad..that i don't me give and other people chance to having a relationship.. i wanted to be independent and strong , not like my mom, but i know trust in men or sth is broken forever..
Wow you are survivor ...you chose to survive instead of compromise and surrender that is what makes you a hero , a super strong woman and a true inspiration for others . Please keep that fire of fighting and surviving burning inside you always❤️❤️
being a survivor from a narsacistic abuser - this was very good from her acting as its not easy to leave due to trauma bonding, fear and a whole bunch of other crap they do to you - however the coucelor's approach is very wrong it should be a very slow, patient and i want to say very gentle approach as we as the victim as in denial, proctecting the abuser and very much brainwashed to make the move and get out
Who came up with this script?! You should write romance novels, the bodice-ripper kind, where Highlanders abduct virgins and "ravish" them - who funded this film? Was there no one who spoke up (like, dunno, the actresses?) about how wrong this all is? A counselor has NO business coming on to his client, much less offering her to stay with him? You've got to be kidding me. This guy would lose his job, and rightly so...making a pass at a woman who is so emotionally vulnerable - even if he transferred Lisa to a colleague, dating her is unethical.
I like the movie, but the Dr. Seems attracted to his patient. Update: I TOLD YOU SO! OMG. What if he was not attracted to the patient? Could be still be so genuine. Problem #1 getting personally involved with your patients.
Children, particularly women need to be taught the warning signs of family violence and what to do when they are young, and warned well before they start dating.
He seems like one of those guys who puts on a mask but is also a creep and an abuser behind closed doors, he just wanted to take advantage of a vulnerable woman. So unprofessional
@@Elizabeth00488 this is him imagining them together be ause he fancies her. If they already knew eachother why did she ask his name and he had to introduce himself Mr Smith then later said its Aaron?
The tip of the iceberg is just how much domestic abuse goes on behind closed doors. It is a gradual thing before it is realised the victim is caught in the abuser's web. I was confused with the counsellor completely unprofessional crossing boundaries kissing a vulnerable victim. I have never heard of a counsellor advising a victim to disclose to the abuser she is having counselling regarding their toxic marriage risking her getting a beating. The councillor was manipulating her just as her husband did at the start of their relationship. He was just as much a bully in the making. The way he verbally attacked the receptionist demeaning her & firing her. The poor woman wasn't receiving genuine help other than from her best friend. No family an unprofessional councillor & a bully of a husband. I hope she was able to find the right help & get away from her husband & stay clear from the oddball her instinct as she went to mention something wasn't quite right but dismissed it. Listen to your gut instinct it will serve you well.
Hi there - thank you for your comment! My name is Kaitlyn Boxall and I am the director and writer of 'Behind Closed Doors'. Absolutely love your criticism and glad the film raises this debate, as the storyline is written to raise controversy in a deliberate manner. People of authority cross boundaries in real life, hence the death of poor Sarah Everard and many other cases across the world. It happens very often with people in authority, the people we trust the most. I'm glad the film raises these questions! Thank you for commenting, and do check out our sequel! 'Behind Closed Doors 2'.
@@pinealdreams1064 Hi there - I'm sorry you feel that way. It's a bit like; I wasn't keen on Eastenders tonight but as a creator; you cannot please everyone and it's great when a film raises these types of debates. All I know is I have helped victims and that's all that matters to me. :) Thank you for the comment and for watching! Take care.
I was stupid for letting my ex beat me for stupid reasons.He was so jealous. I knew when driving with him, if I barely looked at a man that was walking he slapped me so hard. I did whatever I could to make him happyl.. I always had a job. I was the one who bought mostly everything.. at the time I made sure I didn't get pregnant. And the crazy thing was I could have left him and went to my mom.. I was heartbroken when my dad died after my 15 the B. Day. But I did tell my Jeasus thank u for not having my daddy die on my B.day. The crazy thing was I've never seen my daddy yelled or hit my mom.. Why did I let him beat me?? I got married to him at 16 and he was 22. Why I put up with the abuse for 6 years..
Sorry didn't finish.. But my older sis told him that's enough, to stop hitting me for 3 years it stop.. so I decided to get pregnant. I was so happy!! When my son was 3 he started doing drugs and drinking heavily again came home and beat me up do bad in front of my son😭 he went to jail that night. And I never went back to him again!!!!
This lady didn't have anyone who loved her.. I did and still put up with the abuse I was so stupid!! Why I did I don't know why?? I know that I was sex. abuse by a family mem. Maybe that's why?? I miss my mom and dad they both died.. I'm 56 years old now and all my children are grown and my husband now live in a house I love.. I don't work anymore. My husband works hard and we have a wonderful house. And he appreciates everything I do for him...🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️
That's true. Kids will see the truth eventually because it will be done in front of them. That happened before and I've been pissed ever since. That's why I decided to stay single. Trust issues and feeling bad vibes keeps me protected.
The undetected ones are the most dangerous ones , because their never scene in a different light . Sometimes the give away is in the language they speak a undertone of undermining phrases like a back handed comment in that sentence statement you can catch them trying to make you second guess yourself done over time can cause real problems been at the mercy of someone with bad intentions.
The therapist needs help imagine going for counseling from someone that needs counselor also so many false messiahs out there claiming to save you while they themselves haven't even saved themselves
I learned from being away from him after a couple of years, I was in love with the man I first met in the beginning. But that man wasn’t real, it was all an illusion and that is called lovebombing. In the beginning he was so charming and loving, till I moved in with him and everything started to change. The gaslighting started making me question myself. He even took me to the doctor and I was put on antidepressants. Then our first child came and his jealousy reared it’s ugly head, at first he only hit me in places no could see but that changed with our second child. Telling people how clumsy I am, she walked into a door or trip and banged her head were common excuses from him. And with each and every time I’d look at him all I could see was the man I first met way back when and I couldn’t leave him. Then came the “you can leave anytime you want to but the kids stay here!” I thought I was stuck until he punched my 8 year old son in the face, we waited till he went to work pack our personal things and left with my brother. I got full total custody of my children and tried not to look back. But I was still in love with the man I met so many years ago and I kinda still ache for that kind of love. All knowing it wasn’t real. 21 years of holding on to a fantasy that really never existed. There’s many reasons why we stay and put up with the abuse, we can’t really explain it to anyone. They would never understand and the easiest excuse is because I love him. No we don’t, we don’t love the monster who punches us, rapes us, calls us nasty names, makes us believe we’re crazy. We love the fake man we met in the beginning.
@@janetwood-korenman619 , What's really sad their scared little punks.....I had an ex that tried me one time and when saw that I wasn't having it he backed off...
Because you don't have self love, have no boundaries and put up with anything. And I don't mean this in a horrible way. I watched my parents have this toxic marriage mess for 15 years. The day she walked away when I was 15/16 was the day I saw she loved herself, had self respect and boundaries. She showed me that she is able to walk away and she loves her children more than a man. I to this day have never let a man in my life who has displayed any type of red flag big or small.
Exactly. 🎯🎯And what you are saying is what I believe is the point of this film -- to depict exactly how victims are most commonly treated by society and how wrong it is.
I don't like the ending..it verbally says you can change now, and shows her getting beaten again. There was so much more that could have been done about the epidemic of living with an abuser during this pandemic, and rather than touching base on that, they side skipped it.
I agree. I felt the Covid ending seemed tacked-on & the issue which is real....trying to escape a power-happy person & now facing a power-happy government....was ignored. The ending felt flat & pointless.
So much going on here, abused by husband, therapist, mother… learned patterns from a cold detached mother, that this poor woman keeps repeating-enacting in all her relationships.
People say if your be abuse get out do you lot really think it works like that NO I seen my best friend be abuse by her husband she was so scared of him he would beaten her bad me and her friends her family the police try all we could to help her get out but 4 years of her be free and happy he found her and killed her her kids found her in the bedroom no one knows where he is now her kids are live with me try they best to move on tho it be 4 years now that they mum was killed by they dad
Once an abuser always an abuser.Eventually the mask they wear in the begining slips.Thankyou for posting and sharing this film with us.
Help
Yes your absolutely right. Once an abuser always an abuser. My exhusbands mask didnt slip for 10 years. I knew he had hit his 1st wife but he stopped drinking before we got together and was sober. I assumed it was something that only the drinking brought out in him. He was an amazing husband and father....until he wasnt. Unless they get help and possibly medication they WILL abuse again. Its just a matter of time. One day when he was at work I packed up everything I could get into my car including my daughter and I put 4 states between us. NEVER try to leave while they are home. I know he would have either put me in the hospital or killed me. I was gone before he got home from work.
@@dianelamb3805 do you need help?
@@janalalewicz7385 Well done you.x Its not easy ,and it`s also very scary ,as you never know their reaction to you going.I`m so glad you got away.My ex was charm personified when we met ,and he fooled all my friends and family.He began with the stony silences and moments of pure anger/rage ,and then became both mentally and physically abusive.I had to leave as it was affecting my mental and physical health.You take care of you now ,and do whatever makes you and your daughter happy.It`s such a relief to not have anyone to answer to ,and be living on a knife edge.My trust in men is pretty much shattered though.Sending you love and hugs from across the pond.Stay safe and well.xx
@@motherboard424 yes I just seen this
This is true. This is what happens when you are going from one violent relationship to another. When you don’t care about yourself, when you feel weak, and confused, someone else will come in and try to love bomb you just like they did and use your situation to play the hero. If you don’t set boundaries or are codependent, all you do is attract unstable, codependent men. This message is hard but real life. Choose your boundaries and never let go of them!
Yes u just said everything what I was going threw.. I had my son sleep with me that night when my ex came home drunk and in drugs smelt like liquer!! He wanted sex.. but I refused my son was next to me!! He grabbed me to the floor and beat the top of head my poor son woke up up screaming and crying.. I was trying to calm my ex and to stop him!! But he had the demon on him.. so I escaped and call the law.. and I never went back to him...
I’m glad that you’re okay today and that you found a way to leave. You both deserve better than that
Yes I hope ur living ur life so much better as well ..I want to thank you Cherry.. Tonight went to a family gathering. It was a nephew graduation party. Omg!! We had a wonderfull time together dancing takeing pictures..I haven't seen them In awhile..But now, we will stay in contact..🙏🏼💖🥰
@@salma_Nella22 God Bless you🙏🏼🥰
@@salma_Nella22
My son's dad past away , overdosed on some drug.. I went to his funeral his sis. And brother was happy to see there. I forgave my ex.. it was drugs that took over him.. you have to forgive the peaple that does u harm... 🙏🏼🙏🏼
The counselor violated his code of ethics and preyed on the victims vulnerability. Absolutely disgusting.
Relate
@@MarysmmiiithGET OVER IT.......
It’s a movie relax
@@Gorillaspawn414 YOU SENT THIS TO THE WRONG PERSON. PUT THE BOTTLE AND WEED DOWN.
@@LadyBoudiccaNOT REALLY.....JUST GIVING MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS......
I left my very abusive ( physical, mental, emotional) husband. Together 24yrs and 6 kids. I gave my life to Jesus. Without my husband in my daily life, I've completely surrendered to God and have drawn closer to Him. I attend church, read Bible and pray. I'm in total awe & tears of joy everyday for how God has got me through this. Supernatural peace, strength & provider. God is healing & restoring me to a better version. I keep my husband in my prayers and leave it in God's hand now. GLORY BE TO GOD!🙏🛐🙌❤
I will keep searching for ways to share my testimony. And I pray for those that read it will come to Jesus and you too will find refuge in Him. I ask this in Jesus name, 🙏
L. M. --beautifully said. BRAVO. Amen!
Yes I read the Bible, Jeasus was my best friend.. my ex stop hurting me for 2 years went by. So I decided to get pregnant, thought that he changed... When my son was 2 years old and very smart.. my ex came home... Drunk ass hell, and in drugs again!! He beat the top of my head. And my poor son was screaming!! That night I called the cops and never ever went back to him!! I left him forever got a devorced from him!! It took me about 12 years when I decided to get pregnant.. cause he stop hurting me for 3 years.. And he started doing drugs again and beat me in front of my son!! I left him and never went back!!!
Very raw and gritty. The acting was really good. The therapist wasn’t very realistic or professional but I suppose there are some therapists out there like him unfortunately.
I'm about 13 minutes in & I couldn't believe this therapist! NO therapist would advise an abuse victim to TELL their abuser that they are seeing a shrink!!
@Marian… you consider yourself a counselor and coach and you dismissively accept therapists like this portrayal like gee, too bad⁉️
@@BeegirlsHoneyHouse that made no sense. She said not all therapists are like that. Meaning she doesn’t agree with how he is and doesn’t want people to think they’re all like this. Think outside of your emotions
Wait? What?
Am I the only one who is infuriated with the counselor for being WAY WAY WAY inappropriate. ?
Behavior of just ANOTHER man to take advantage of her. Ugh.
I expected the comment section to be full of it.
Anyone reading this. This is NOT the way a counselor should behave with you.
@Liz B the creator actually said that the story was based on his mother’s experience
@Liz B umm yes it does matter. Wtf. A story is a story and you can’t let your guard down with therapists either. You shouldn’t let your guard down with ANYONE. A police officer, a Janitor, a teacher, a pastor. NOBODY
@Liz B i read well enough. You’re basically saying that they’re trying to paint therapists in a dysfunctional light. That this isn’t how therapists work. Guess what…. Therapists can actually be this manipulative. So can police officers. So can teachers. You think this is going to discourage people from going to therapy? Common sense says that abuse can come from anyone no matter what their title is. No matter what their degree is. It is important to see abuse in every direction, not just the way YOU deem is appropriate. This isn’t going to stop people from going to therapy. We all know that therapy is vital, but you can’t say that people don’t abuse their power. This is a hard reality for people.
@@salma_Nella22
Of course therapists can be manipulative! But I think what Liz B wanted to say is that in this film's context, the relationship between client and counselor is being shown as something natural, which it absolutely isn't!
Abusers don’t ever changed I lived with one for twenty years finally saw the light asked him to go
Even if her husband isn´t abusing her daughters, is it still better is she leaves him. It is better to raise her daughters without a dad, then with him, because they still witness her being beaten up, which will damage them in the long run. They will raise up with the knowledge that it is okay to be abused, and that a man is only a real man if he controles his wive through that kind of abuse. They will never know what it is to have a normal, loving relationship. So run lady.
Mr. Smith was a creep. He betrayed any confidence that poor Lisa had in him. Personal feelings should never interfere with business and definitely not when someone should be offering a councelling service.
Thank you!! I thought I was the only one!
Its truly ashame how often this occurs that either the woman is abused or the man is abused.
These movies are somewhat therapeutic because I was with my ex for 4 years and the abuse started little by little until he almost killed me one night. He was a sheriff deputy and we've finally located him and in the middle of a case with him and the department he had worked for. When I called several times, I was told I provoked him, or men can be jealous etc and never did anything. I didn't have family or friends near and was terrified to leave as he threatened harm onto my own family and I felt I was protecting them, in some sort of way. The last night, he had drank whiskey again, started with me at the bar, I walked home, fell asleep in the spare bedroom and he came in, calling me every name imaginable and then grabbed my ankle, I swung my other leg to kick him, before I was knocked out, woke up in the hallway with my own blood surrounding me on the carpet. I just laid there until morning, afraid to move, was in so much pain as he stepped over me, getting ready for work putting on the same uniform that is to serve and protect. As soon as he left, I called my boss and she came and took me to the hospital. He had shattered my left cheek bone, I had 8 hairline fractures on my left eye socket, muscle tissue in my left nasal cavity, a thick piece of skin from my top lips was stuck in my two front teeth and my right ring fingers tip was broken in two. I refused to say he did anything and this happened back in 2011, I still have horrific nightmares, night sweats, extreme PTSD and depression issues with acute anxiety attacks and am terrified to leave my own home alone. I've remarried since and the man I am with now and have been since 2016 has given me my wings back and although I feel my ex left me a mess, my strength is now to fight, now longer going to be his victim because I survived for a reason and after years of searching, a local prosecutor located him and with all medical documentation including photos, he will now pay for what he's done so no one else is hurt by him ever again.
Put yout stuff in a trash bag, never in a suitcase or a gym bag. That way it's camouflaged for trash, he won't know.
Omg… thank you for this ❤️
Does not work all the time my best friend did that and he when mad at her
Sometimes u feel like it's ur fault.. ur not being more beatifull or something is wrong with u? Ur dad was a wonderfull person to ur mom before he died.. so why is he treating me so bad?!?! A man that abuses you can make u feel so worthless . Makes u feel something is wrong with you..It's not true there the ones who are insecure with themselves.. There parents made them feel unloved!! So whoever is dealing with this!!! Hey away now!! All ur doing to ur kids is makeing them think that's ok.They will be living that same life if u don't get away!!!
That you even know this makes me sad. 😢
Exactly
Why are we so blinded by love? Or better yet. Why do we think our love will change them? Look, listen and learn! Any unwarrented aggression shown towards you or another human/animal should be your first and only needed warning! Also check the family history and behaviour for you can learn tons and spare yourself from harm, pain, humiliation and heartbreak.
Omg! Mr. Smith has to be the worst therapist ever.
Mr. Smith was also really really unprofessional. The moment he started to have feelings for her, he should have referred her to someone else. You cannot let your own feelings get in the way of your professional work.
That councillor is abusing his position he is taking advantage of a vulnerable woman.
I find abusers almost always give themselves away in the beginning. Never ignore the red flags. Or your instincts ...
There is no way on God's green earth that that counsellor would behave the way he did on her 2nd visit. Where he's inches away from her face, it's so intimate. This poor woman is terrified of her husband and quite likely all men at this point. She must be wondering who she can trust and would avoid the company of men especially on a 1-1 basis.
Plus why did they chose a male counsellor to deal with a woman experiencing domestic violence. I've not seen that before and find it strange that a man would want to help or even feel comfortable talking about physical, sexual and emotional abuse.
I can't get my head round this aspect of the short film.
Is it just me? 20 years on and I still struggle to be around men that I don't know.
I couldn’t agree more. She would be classed as a vulnerable adult and that’s a complete abuse of his position…vile
If a woman has to be with a man in a private room or place then the woman should bring someone with her. I don't trust men nor anyone . It's best to have someone with you as a witness. A woman who has gone through this is hurting lost herself is confused about who she is and life it self. She's not able to think clear she struggles with herself esteem the way she looks her feelings. She's beautiful but questions it not able to see herself. She's broken inside. A man is able to pick up on this and can take advantage of her. Woman who have gotten out of this shit I believe shouldn't date for a long time because healing is important. Stay safe .
Same should be done by men we can't trust any women
I just watched the second one to this movie and loved the ending....it takes courage to leave an abuser
In reality her husband won’t have allowed her to leave home in that black dress. Especially if he has jealousy issues controlling how you dress, who you see are pretty standard tactics by abusers. The therapist is just another type of abuser in a way he’s worse because he thinks he’s “saving” her and is nothing like her husband. This was so depressing and upsetting to watch.
Is exactly what I thought. The worst a therapist can do is to sit your enemy in the same room as you are. Both are abusive and cruel.
Yes, she would not be allowed to dress the way she does and would not have any friends, isolation is another tactic.
I’m from Melbourne Australia & watching the ending of this movie how it spoke about the corona virus & England going into lockdown, struck me how many couples would argue, domestic violence on the increase, depression increasing, marriages breaking up. It made me think how small the houses are in England & people wouldn’t have space to breathe & virtually on each other backs. Here in melb australia we we locked up for a long time but at least we had the space in houses for one partner to be on one side of the house. I don’t know why but it angers me when I see women mentally & physically abused yet they won’t leave. I know that they are frighten & feel like it’s their fault at times but be strong & just leave before a domestic issue turns into murder. Always think of your children when your being abused because mentally it’s also happening to them
This is a crazy, twisted film. It's not about Domestic Violence Awareness at all. The therapist is a warped, narcissistic piece o' work.
That counselor definitely went way over the line.
I've said it before I'll say a million more times, if a male hits a woman he's not a real man! You need to know you're valuable and deserve to be treated like a Queen,don't accept anything less!!
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!! Leave, Leave, LEAVE!! Cause if it happens the 1st time it WILL happen again and Again and AGAIN!!
So very true
Makes me sad no one has the right to ever abuse someone man or women
So the counselor is an abuser too? WTF? This was a weird story. The takeaway from this is never make a lifetime commitment to someone until you are 110% sure they will love and respect you in return.
Why do people think all abusers must look a certain way and have to be instantly abusive and expect them to notice instantly. Some abusers are initially very charming, with many supporters that reassure they are great people or least unproblematic. Which is worst than realizing instantly that they are abusers.
Does anyone realise you can live with someone for years and years and never know them? Or what they truly want from you we all loose our temper! But an abuser takes from you to feed his or her control over your life? Sex and the inadequacies too please little penises and or no idea how much they are useless to you? Control and you belong to me and totally jealous oppressiveness attitude they hold you down but they expect you to understand what they are doing too you? YOUR BETTER THAN THEM? And they answer you by being disrespectful violent abusive? Stay on your own sexual contact is a fantasy you don’t need in your lives? And once you give someone else your body and your life you open the door to anger?. Remember you will never know these people you have In trusted with your family friends children you just become a slave to their desires?
Sometimes people don't get help. Sometimes someone's so isolated from everyone and have no siblings and both parents died so what happens to that woman? The woman has no one
I am a woman Survivor of domestic violence I had to reach out to shelters and went to want to move to a different city it took a lot out of me I was blessed though my son is grown so I did not have to take him but his dad was also an abuser and I should have left him also but I didn't I divorced him several years later I met someone else I became homeless and was abused I've had enough and it took a lot out of me I had no family that was living or in the same state so I had to go to a shelter and then the rest is history been here for 2 years there is time so we're him but I had to learn to love myself more than him I always say my love for him has not changed but my love for myself has
There are a lot more options these days. There are shelters & the police legally can intervene now. It would surely be much harder to go it alone, but even if you have no children or family......YOU are worth getting & staying safe. No one deserves to be abused by someone who claims to love them.
The lady is lucky to have a friend who cares about her and wants to help her!
That councillar violated his code of conduct. Sadly lots of women go through this. Its hard to just get up and leave.
What in the world is with this counselor?!?
Therapist must have got his licence off the back of a cereal box.
Lmfao
The sad thing of this women was the kids where so used to see there mom with bruises on her face never asked her why..
Why was the therapist so close to her face and touching her? Your job is to help not take advantage of people
They were in the relationship before her marriage to her husband. Rewatch you'll see flashbacks of therapist 17:16
He is her Ex bf😂
My ex raped and beat me until one day we was in his car and he punched me in the chest so I stabbed in the leg he crashed his car and I stunt rolled and ran called the police now he’s behind bars
GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTT BOIIIIIIIIIIII or GIRLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
You go Tina Turner....Salute....
Fantastic....great👏👏👏👏
🥰🥰🥰
An abuser is like cancer. May even go into remission for awhile but most usually it comes back. They are rotten to the core.
True
WTF!! I am as angry with the counselor as I am with the husband!
Concealer went way over the mark kissing his client what he did was wrong. She is being abused by her husband and is very vulnerable if he has feelings she needs to be referred on. Disgusting
The counselor is behaving inappropriately.
A lot do
Don't be fooled
I went to one
He told me I had a nice face I would be OK
Don't be fooled
Because someone has a title
If a US counselor had a relationship with a client he would lose his license for sure. Don't know how he gets away with that in the UK.
When i was a kid, i saw the same situation at home. My mom was struggling with my stepdad , bitting her sometimes when he was drunk. Also i was bitten by him and she forgave him so often...ii hated her too for her weakness! That was horrible, really nightmare ! I never forgot it since then and i hate drunken men to see now and have Problem with relationships. Bevor i start a relationship, i end it up ..i find some reason ..sometimes it is so sad..that i don't me give and other people chance to having a relationship.. i wanted to be independent and strong , not like my mom, but i know trust in men or sth is broken forever..
I am a survivor of domestic violence
Wow you are survivor ...you chose to survive instead of compromise and surrender that is what makes you a hero , a super strong woman and a true inspiration for others . Please keep that fire of fighting and surviving burning inside you always❤️❤️
And yes, as someone else already commented, this therapist is a PREDATOR.
being a survivor from a narsacistic abuser - this was very good from her acting as its not easy to leave due to trauma bonding, fear and a whole bunch of other crap they do to you - however the coucelor's approach is very wrong it should be a very slow, patient and i want to say very gentle approach as we as the victim as in denial, proctecting the abuser and very much brainwashed to make the move and get out
Who came up with this script?! You should write romance novels, the bodice-ripper kind, where Highlanders abduct virgins and "ravish" them - who funded this film?
Was there no one who spoke up (like, dunno, the actresses?) about how wrong this all is?
A counselor has NO business coming on to his client, much less offering her to stay with him? You've got to be kidding me. This guy would lose his job, and rightly so...making a pass at a woman who is so emotionally vulnerable - even if he transferred Lisa to a colleague, dating her is unethical.
For real, what is this script? It looks like they wanted to film a wattpad fiction.
I'm I alone in thinking the therapist stepped way over the line 😕
Nope. I cannot believe the comment section is not all about that!
He had stepped way over it...
Now I'm officially terrified of therapists
this is the creepiest damn thing I've ever seen, on all levels.... "WTF?" is my comment...
The counselor was a creep
Couples counseling with domestic abuse? Hell no.
I like the movie, but the Dr. Seems attracted to his patient.
Update: I TOLD YOU SO! OMG. What if he was not attracted to the patient? Could be still be so genuine.
Problem #1 getting personally involved with your patients.
People should know that predators there are in all professions, no matter what, we need to search a lot of knowledge and take care of ourselves.
Once they hit you they'll do it again
this it nuts... the therapist is such an odd twist to this...
Counsellor was very abusive towards his staff he needs help like the husband.
He was a terrible Counsellor with a equally terrible receptionist and what woman would tell her abuser that she is going to see a Counsellor.
This is insane. An abuser counseling an abuse victim.
I had twenty years of abusive husband after twenty years ask him to go eventually he did Iv never looked back they never change never
I hope your life is much better now. ❤️
I wish you well and best of luck
This entire thing plays out as a bad nightmare in every direction..
The filmmaking, certainly...
That councillor was gross for doing that
Actually councilor was her ex boyfriend or boy friend , if you rewatch you'll see the flashbacks of councilor , they were in relationship .17:16
Children, particularly women need to be taught the warning signs of family violence and what to do when they are young, and warned well before they start dating.
Yes but now they are violent women also so both must be educated
This "therapist" is extremely inappropriate.
So far I do not like the therapist ,he is creepy..and no one knows what goes on behind closed doors in a marriage if you do not speak up..
He seems like one of those guys who puts on a mask but is also a creep and an abuser behind closed doors, he just wanted to take advantage of a vulnerable woman. So unprofessional
Wow, he's telling HER to watch her weight...while he is sitting there like an unwashed, greasy slug! Too hairy too. She looks perfect!
Been Der wat a dark place to be even worse thinking it's all your fault and so afraid to tell anyone cos he would hurt dem to
The councillor isnt very professional is he? Geting her more confused.
17:16 they were in relationship before her marriage to her husband. He still cares about her .
@@Elizabeth00488 how do you know this? It was never mentioned in this film
@@magicmoonart 17:16 flashback of the past.
@@Elizabeth00488 this is him imagining them together be ause he fancies her. If they already knew eachother why did she ask his name and he had to introduce himself Mr Smith then later said its Aaron?
The therapist was getting involved with her. It was his imagination
Things will get better for people in need 🙏
I'll advise!
Congratulations team! We did it!
Are you one of the 3 ppl that clicked the unlike button? 🤔
@@VasileMarin Haha, I'd love to know who did!
@@hollyaliceprentice wouldn't we all?
You all did a fantastic job 👏🏽👏🏽
Yes ,what the guy said.
An abuser always an abuser ,I’ve been there before and I ran away fast !!
That therapist was rude in beginning. He took it hard that she didnt wanna talk.
That’s not how most therapists are. He definitely wasn’t gentle, compassionate or understanding
@@mariancounsellor if that's how therapies are that means most of the time they spent in school was sleeping or didnt grasp the concept of therapies.
honestly i had 3 therapists and they all were like that lmao
Abuse isn't caused by anger it's an addiction atleast that's what I believe 🤧
It has many factors, such as being exposed to abuse or being abused previously. Although yes, eventually we all have a choice.
Oh are we going to call this a disease now too?
My grandpa always uses the excuse it's mental illness
The tip of the iceberg is just how much domestic abuse goes on behind closed doors. It is a gradual thing before it is realised the victim is caught in the abuser's web.
I was confused with the counsellor completely unprofessional crossing boundaries kissing a vulnerable victim.
I have never heard of a counsellor advising a victim to disclose to the abuser she is having counselling regarding their toxic marriage risking her getting a beating.
The councillor was manipulating her just as her husband did at the start of their relationship.
He was just as much a bully in the making.
The way he verbally attacked the receptionist demeaning her & firing her.
The poor woman wasn't receiving genuine help other than from her best friend.
No family an unprofessional councillor & a bully of a husband.
I hope she was able to find the right help & get away from her husband & stay clear from the oddball her instinct as she went to mention something wasn't quite right but dismissed it.
Listen to your gut instinct it will serve you well.
Hi there - thank you for your comment! My name is Kaitlyn Boxall and I am the director and writer of 'Behind Closed Doors'. Absolutely love your criticism and glad the film raises this debate, as the storyline is written to raise controversy in a deliberate manner. People of authority cross boundaries in real life, hence the death of poor Sarah Everard and many other cases across the world. It happens very often with people in authority, the people we trust the most. I'm glad the film raises these questions! Thank you for commenting, and do check out our sequel! 'Behind Closed Doors 2'.
@@pinealdreams1064 Hi there - I'm sorry you feel that way. It's a bit like; I wasn't keen on Eastenders tonight but as a creator; you cannot please everyone and it's great when a film raises these types of debates. All I know is I have helped victims and that's all that matters to me. :) Thank you for the comment and for watching! Take care.
the 'counsellor' and her husband are both trash. poor woman.
Therapists puttiing her in danger ,wow
yeah
I was stupid for letting my ex beat me for stupid reasons.He was so jealous. I knew when driving with him, if I barely looked at a man that was walking he slapped me so hard. I did whatever I could to make him happyl.. I always had a job. I was the one who bought mostly everything.. at the time I made sure I didn't get pregnant. And the crazy thing was I could have left him and went to my mom.. I was heartbroken when my dad died after my 15 the B. Day. But I did tell my Jeasus thank u for not having my daddy die on my B.day. The crazy thing was I've never seen my daddy yelled or hit my mom.. Why did I let him beat me?? I got married to him at 16 and he was 22. Why I put up with the abuse for 6 years..
Sorry didn't finish.. But my older sis told him that's enough, to stop hitting me for 3 years it stop.. so I decided to get pregnant. I was so happy!! When my son was 3 he started doing drugs and drinking heavily again came home and beat me up do bad in front of my son😭 he went to jail that night. And I never went back to him again!!!!
Good thing you never went back to him sis
Toxic relationship or marriages are very draining
This lady didn't have anyone who loved her.. I did and still put up with the abuse I was so stupid!! Why I did I don't know why?? I know that I was sex. abuse by a family mem. Maybe that's why?? I miss my mom and dad they both died.. I'm 56 years old now and all my children are grown and my husband now live in a house I love.. I don't work anymore. My husband works hard and we have a wonderful house. And he appreciates everything I do for him...🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️
That's true. Kids will see the truth eventually because it will be done in front of them. That happened before and I've been pissed ever since. That's why I decided to stay single. Trust issues and feeling bad vibes keeps me protected.
I been thru so much n been single 7 yes n I can't let anyone e in my heart .it's not easy
@@noeortega2001 Exactly. We gotta keep our hearts guarded. Trusting people is hard nowadays.
The undetected ones are the most dangerous ones , because their never scene in a different light . Sometimes the give away is in the language they speak a undertone of undermining phrases like a back handed comment in that sentence statement you can catch them trying to make you second guess yourself done over time can cause real problems been at the mercy of someone with bad intentions.
Fantastic, great work! Hope you get the recognition that you all deserve
Super weird approach to a domestic violence awareness film.
The counsellor is very abusive and toxic. He does not respect boundaries, anyway😢
Wtf, this is a terrible portrayal of how a councillor should behave
The therapist needs help imagine going for counseling from someone that needs counselor also so many false messiahs out there claiming to save you while they themselves haven't even saved themselves
I still don't know why I put up with the abuse for so long
I learned from being away from him after a couple of years, I was in love with the man I first met in the beginning. But that man wasn’t real, it was all an illusion and that is called lovebombing. In the beginning he was so charming and loving, till I moved in with him and everything started to change. The gaslighting started making me question myself. He even took me to the doctor and I was put on antidepressants. Then our first child came and his jealousy reared it’s ugly head, at first he only hit me in places no could see but that changed with our second child. Telling people how clumsy I am, she walked into a door or trip and banged her head were common excuses from him. And with each and every time I’d look at him all I could see was the man I first met way back when and I couldn’t leave him. Then came the “you can leave anytime you want to but the kids stay here!” I thought I was stuck until he punched my 8 year old son in the face, we waited till he went to work pack our personal things and left with my brother. I got full total custody of my children and tried not to look back. But I was still in love with the man I met so many years ago and I kinda still ache for that kind of love. All knowing it wasn’t real. 21 years of holding on to a fantasy that really never existed. There’s many reasons why we stay and put up with the abuse, we can’t really explain it to anyone. They would never understand and the easiest excuse is because I love him. No we don’t, we don’t love the monster who punches us, rapes us, calls us nasty names, makes us believe we’re crazy. We love the fake man we met in the beginning.
@@janetwood-korenman619 , What's really sad their scared little punks.....I had an ex that tried me one time and when saw that I wasn't having it he backed off...
Because you don't have self love, have no boundaries and put up with anything. And I don't mean this in a horrible way. I watched my parents have this toxic marriage mess for 15 years. The day she walked away when I was 15/16 was the day I saw she loved herself, had self respect and boundaries. She showed me that she is able to walk away and she loves her children more than a man. I to this day have never let a man in my life who has displayed any type of red flag big or small.
Excellent work Holly, great direction and storytelling.. xx
Thank you Milroy! So glad you enjoyed it! Xx
Holley you may want to tell my story too.
Most incompetent therapist
Indeed, he´s as bad as her abusive husband. The way he yelled at his assitant.
Once an abuser
Always be an abuser
Not the imagination with the full suit on 24/7😭
Lmao
Great film! Congratulations to the team :) Holly you are a star! I hope you all get recognised for your hard work!
Thank you so much Rosita! So glad you liked it ✨☺️
Terrible film, totally puts the responsibility on the victim. This would deter anyone from opening up.
Exactly. 🎯🎯And what you are saying is what I believe is the point of this film -- to depict exactly how victims are most commonly treated by society and how wrong it is.
Great job everyone! 🤟🤟
Brilliant work, truly effective in every way it intends.
I don't like the ending..it verbally says you can change now, and shows her getting beaten again. There was so much more that could have been done about the epidemic of living with an abuser during this pandemic, and rather than touching base on that, they side skipped it.
I agree. I felt the Covid ending seemed tacked-on & the issue which is real....trying to escape a power-happy person & now facing a power-happy government....was ignored. The ending felt flat & pointless.
@@taracollins5597 thank you!
There’s part two
@@aiwuxx7901 that may be, but when all I'm left with is part one, that's all I can comment on...
So much going on here, abused by husband, therapist, mother… learned patterns from a cold detached mother, that this poor woman keeps repeating-enacting in all her relationships.
Everything about this piece is on point. Keep it up.
Please do leave us a review on the Behind Closed Doors Facebook page! We would love to hear your feedback! 🎥📸
I went thru hell in back left after 22 years
From one creep to another, what was this?
Some womens everyday lives
People say if your be abuse get out do you lot really think it works like that NO I seen my best friend be abuse by her husband she was so scared of him he would beaten her bad me and her friends her family the police try all we could to help her get out but 4 years of her be free and happy he found her and killed her her kids found her in the bedroom no one knows where he is now her kids are live with me try they best to move on tho it be 4 years now that they mum was killed by they dad
What!!! Sad😢😢
Omg! That's awful💔😪
It Needs To Be Shown More For Men Too.
Someone said 2 me the other day please don't let people take Ur smile away 😄 Ive lived though abuse please tell someone
Not a very good counsellor.
This therapist is PREDATOR