Me and my brother will never be the same because of a fake wedding
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.พ. 2024
- Me and my brother will never be the same because of a fake wedding
authors: u/Exact_Butterscotch40, u/Objective_Coat_5948 and u/slaphappypap
#reddit #redditupdate #redditrelationship
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Jfc, the fact that OP had to defend herself THAT much shows how sensitive some people are.
They just need a reason to blame OP even tho Bro and BIL are the real AHs
@@boredpersonstory553
I think you're right. I don't even know how they dare try to justify their actions. More they are speaking, more they explain why she's so so upset. I understand her so much.
He maybe has a new husband but he lost a twin sister. In this world, he can find 100 husbands, but he had just 1 twin sister.
The worst is that it looks like that, he could do everything today, I don't think he can ever have this relationship he had with her.
@@boredpersonstory553 they are not the ah just because op didn't get the main character award
@@lilogonzales6625 they didn't have a relationship or she wouldn't be bitching about not getting invited to the wedding
@lilogonzales6625 they are the AH bc they played OP and made her look like an idiot. They could have just apologized and explained what they wanted for their Wedding and not trick everyone.
BIL: I don't get why people would be upset that we lied to them, actively lied. And I don't want to hurt their relationship, but let's not tell your family that we've been married for an entire year and spring it on them on the day of. But no insults were intended.
What a honest-to-goddess person of Walmart right there. Like King of the Walmartians. I'm surprised he has 2 brain cells to rub together, let alone can tie his shoes in the morning.
Gee, I wonder why she's mad.
Nobody lied just because the dramatic family wasn't invited to the first one
Also you don't have to disclose your marital status to throw a wedding or any event for that matter sounds like you weren't invited to the actual wedding of someone for being too dramatic and attention seeking
Also what does Walmart have to do with the situation at hand if you're gonna pretend to add intelligent input try something factual and subjects that are actually connected
What did they lie about? Couples get married and then have bigger fancy ornate weddings all the time they probably didn't mention it to the family beforehand because it would have been awkward to explain not to mention better to ask forgiveness than permission.
@@kcnichols8968 "What did they lie about" tells me everything I need to know here. There is no defense of their actions. The brother and his husband are the d*holes here without question.
OP did reveal a tidbit on TikTok that I believe was deleted. N’s father abused OP when she was younger. His abuse of OP was why OP’s mother divorced N’s father and why N’s father was outcasted from the family. N’s father attended the “real” wedding and was also present at the “fake” wedding. So a major reason why OP was emotional over the “fake” wedding was because her abuser was going to be there and she didn’t want to be around him (especially without her husband there), but she sucked it up for her brother’s sake. So knowing that the wedding was fake, her abuser was at the real wedding, _and_ the fact that she put herself in proximity to her abuser for N’s sake for what turned out to be a fake wedding was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
The general feeling I’m getting from this story is that N has actually resented OP all along. I think he blames OP for what went down with his dad. The fact that _everyone_ in the wedding party treated OP like garbage tells me that N was saying negative things about her beforehand. But N was able to mask his true feelings because he loved OP’s family. OP is definitely better off not having a relationship with her brother.
Dear God 😨
Omg so much worse.... brother is a POS
@chessieray1465 my thoughts exactly
And people saying, "Oh, well she couldn't have made it for the real one anyway because she was about to give birth!" Let's see...could they maybe have, oh I dunno, delayed the friggin wedding until she was recovered?! Or had it before she was absolutely ready to pop? Also, if they wanted her there but they thought she couldn't afford the ticket, they personally could have saved or collected a little money from each family member to make up the cost, or hell posted a gofundme? If you spread a couple hundred bucks between half a dozen or a dozen people, and you buy the tickets far in advance, then you can save a lot. Unless you elope, a wedding isn't planned in a weekend, so yeah, they had time. Plus, they planned and held a WHOLE FRIGGIN WEDDING without saying a word, or letting anything slip on social media? Who doesn't post wedding pictures to share with friends who couldn't attend? All it would've taken to involve her was forethought and a little planning. Instead all they offered was excuses after the fact, which is far too little, and way too late. Also, it didn't sound like they tried very hard to apologize and make up for it either. Just excuses and exit stage left. The audacity...
If I had sucked it up to be in a room with my abuser for a whole day to find out that it was a sham and even my abuser had been invited to the "real wedding" and I hadn't? I'd be livid.
I got the impression is that when they were just dating bil was jealous of how close she and N were. Who would go and get a matching tattoo with a sibling they despise? I think bil drove a wedge between the two out of jealousy, and that's vile. I didn't see it mentioned, but did she even know that they were engaged? Also, I have adhd and object permanence definitely affects people who you don't talk to frequently, but if OP and N were that close, wouldn't they be talking more frequently than once a year? My ex boyfriend, who I'm still friends with, hadn't heard anything from me in a month after New Year, and he called me in concern, in the middle of the work day, to check on me. We both have adhd and are on the spectrum too. So the whole thing just reeks of intent not acciden.
Everyone is just pointing out little exaggerations of OOPs story and not explaining why they did this to her and OOPS bil was just putting the blame on everyone else, there was no good reason to do this to her and make her fork up 4k for a fake wedding, i have ADHD too and me and my bf forgot to text eachother for a month one time but thats just complete BS you don't "forget" that you got married and to inform people that was deliberate secret keeping for a YEAR for NO GOOD REASON like?
I was about to say, I have bad ADHD and I might forget to check in on a family member or friend after not texting for awhile… but forgetting to mention you getting married, to your sister?! Not mention they supposedly spoke every day?
@@WeavileLady"getting married to your sister"
Without the comma. 💀
@@bunk_foss speaking of forgeting important things… big oof on my part lol
@@WeavileLady 😂
The damage control from BIL and the second guy who apparently knows them just makes them come off even worse...
The BIL just seems very unused to being held accountable and the BIL's friend openly admits he doesn't know most of the stuff yet comments anyway. He even said "there were plans for the entire wedding party to be at the brunch, but many couldn't make it." that's the whole point, everyone but OP was invited...
They did something cruel, and weirdly sly, then are absolutely scrambling to not be held accountable for it.
Right?! I got left out of stuff at my own sister's wedding while my half sister, who we had only really known online for a few yrs prior, was invited to. My sister's wedding was even the first time the two met. Plus, the wedding photographer made sure to take lots of pictures, probably ten different set ups, of the "new sisters" (my bil's sister and moh) in the bridal party photos and took only two shots with me. She is happy with her "new sister" and the both of them intentionally STILL leave me out of holidays. I haven't been invited to my nieces birthday in probably 5 yrs, and before our dad's heart attack last May I was dead to her for two and a half years for asking her to please invite Dad and I to the holidays as he is in poor health and declining, and letting her know that treating us like that, and the way she, her husband (who I really like), and our mom treated me our last Xmas together, was shitty.
So yeah, I can definitely understand what OP was likely feeling. Family shouldn't treat you like that, and it's so hurtful to be singled out by the ones who should love you unconditionally and NOT do that.
I at least knew that things between my sister and I weren't fantastic because of how much we fought growing up, but it sounds like OP thought she was her brother's world, and perhaps before he started seeing her now bil she was, and being dropped like that must've been devastating. The bil comes off as jealous and defensive and trying very hard to push the blame on his husband by saying, "Well, I just went along with whatever he decided with her." Bish you did not. If so he'd have just said, "He made the decisions, I didn't know, and I feel bad she was hurt." Instead he went off about how they had a history, he didn't like her, he wasn't to blame because he didn't involve himself with her because again, he didn't like her, oh, and did he mention that he didn't like her? 😒 Bruh...you can dislike someone and not treat them like they don't exist.
Yep, the BIL post just comes off as dismissive and unconvincingly trying to paint OP as the bad guy.
Gross.
Making someone forking thousands of their own money and doing something considered embarrassing out of love and support for a prank on themselves is a new level of cruelty I never thought I would see outside of a movie.
That was craaazzyyy I would be heartbroken and pissed too
I’m a little confused about some of this, but I think I’m gonna side with OP since, in the end, she was never told that her brother was married for a year. I can imagine that it was also embarrassing to dance down an isle in a fairy costume after begging to not be apart of the “wedding”. Knowing that alone, she was definitely not in the wrong.
If there had been "a whole arc of shit" between BIL and OP then that should have been the one and only necessary clue that not telling OP the truth was a baaaaaad idea. Gotta love the BIL employee speaking up for BIL. 😆 Self-serving much? The fact they admit to only knowing 10% of the actual truth sure didn't stop them from opening their pie hole, huh?
Notice how they didn't address the exclusion from the bachelorette party or the bullying in the group chat or the paying for other people. But "I'm sure BIL had his reasons."
Unless she's sleeping with BIL at the Pizzeria I wouldn't profess to know how my manager acts in such an intimate manner.
Yeah the employee just sounded stupid. "She made assumptions, there were only x people there" yeah she wanted the conversation to be between 3 people: herself, her brother, her brother in law. Anyone else except maybe her mother is too many people there.
@@geminiadastra8662also "everyone was invited" right? So yeah, good to know that ALL could show up
You have to love that BIL's employee is the only one who even tries to defend his boss.
Also love that the employee said they don't believe OP about what the BIL said to her, but the BIL admits in his own comments how harsh he was with his words lol
BIL sounds like a clown from his own account. Says there was no ill will regarding the decision to keep the real marriage a secret, but won't stop talking about how much he doesn't like the OP. Rags on commenters for calling out his behavior as having "only one side of the story" after he has already given his side of the story, or that he couldn't be giving more of his side at that very moment.
SMH. WOW. This shows that OP’s brother and husband are HORRIBLE POS. They should’ve told her that they were already married. They’ve humiliated her and showed that her feelings don’t matter to them. And doubling down further proves that they are WICKED. I don’t blame her at all for going NC with them.
I do not understand why you would even say that. Like if you got married last year and you had the party now - just shut up and say yay we got married? There was NO NEED to make some stup!d announcement crushing all your family. It was needless stupid drama for the sake of what... Lemme guess, a tiktok?
yeah, this was just needlessly hurtful. why would you make your sister spend 4 k on a wedding that was "fake" and then rug pull reveal to basically only her and your mom the day of? why even announce it was fake? Why do a big gotcha?
It doesn't add up. This doesn't sound like an accident. It sounds like it was the nail in the coffin on purpose.
The one question I have is, who in ther right mind thought it would be a good idea do not tell her? I mean , assuming the o p isn't lying about the fact that she was the only person in the Wedding party do not know that this was a fake wedding. I mean, how the heck is she not supposed feel singled out and that this was done to make fun of her?
People who throw out the ‘you’re narcissistic’ BS tend to be narcissistic themselves.
I'd get laser tattoo removal
100% on the brother and funny enough it was BIL who ratted them out. In his response he admitted they thought 2 separate times durning the whole event to pull some people, like OP and mom, and clue them in but decided against it as to not cause a scene. They knew what they did was gonna bother people but chose to make a fake wedding all about them. And something everyone should realize about this and this is from someone who is the main host durning events (family and friend ones), that while ur wedding is all about u once u decided to get married and have a “party” to celebrate a year later its no longer ur day. U r a host and as one should always ensure the comfort of ur guests and they failed to do that
100%
I would be SUPER pi$$ed off! All that money and time wasted on a fake wedding! I would be hard pressed to talk to him again.
If being shitty and being called out for that is homophobic then count me in😂
Jesus the brother and husband seem very neurodivergent, to say it kindly.
Just let’s be clear, they’re assholes. Most likely social media psychos who think it’s more important to do something dramatic like this for social media rather than caring about the people
You mean they’re retarded sociopaths?yea i got the same feeling
Don't put this on Neurodvergiency. this is more narcissism. the lying for there benefit. Refusing to take actual responsibility. Also epecting her to just get over it right then in there is also BS narcissism.
I am neuridivergent and I knew they were terrible
Neurodivergent people don't pull this crap. It wouldn't even go through their minds, they spend their entire lives trying to understand and to be understood, feeling left out and etc, because of that , they're usually more on the "people pleasing" side, afraid to offended and fearing that they are being offended without really grasping it, therefore trying to overcompensate so people will like them and be kind, than anything else. It's mostly neurotypicals pulling that level of stupid crap.
And what we have here is an example of why communication is key. Shout out to the person who went "I was at the wedding and OP is off base about what she's has said about her BiL, who is also my boss." In the end the brother is an ass, if for no other reason than not reaching out to mend things if OP can be believed.
I mean, God knows how many times the brother tried while OP had him blocked. At some point, it stops being on the brother to try and reach out because OP blocked him, not the other way around.
@kcnichols8968 She said she had to block them because they would make non-apology apologies.
OP "they took me aside and tried to give excuses"
BIL "we tried to apologize"
OP "I wrote my brother a note"
BIL "I never knew how she felt"
An apology doesn't require a "but". Nore does it include "you are a narcissist, you're over reacting" typically it starts with "we would like to apologize, how can we move forward?"
@gwenrichard7507 I'll be honest I'm still not even sure what they'd need to be apologizing for OPs the one who threw a hissy fit and refused to actually talk to the couple like an adult and blocked them because she didn't think they apologized hard enough for it.
@@kcnichols8968 How about the fact they made her part of the wedding party, forced her to pay $4k into it, didn't put the same amount of respect on OP as she did her brother, didn't tell her they were already married (and thus effectively wasted a year of her time) and downplayed everything when she was justifiably upset. For once I'm actually on the girl's side on REDDIT.
@@kcnichols8968 OP could have handled the situation better herself, but I can't blame her because she went into this thinking that the bond she shared with her brother was as strong as siblings could have only to find out that. 1. He kept a major life event secret from her for a year, 2. forced her to be apart of the wedding party after she felt uncomfortable about how the others acted (think she said Mean Girl vibes a number of times in the video), 3. in the middle of the ceremony had some random person effectively go "Hey all the time, money, and effort you put into being in this wedding is actually a waste cause it's not real", 4. Had them try to downplay what very much is a breach of trust as no big deal and offered excuses ("you live on the other side of the country, you just had a baby, we lost track of time to tell you sooner") rather than OP's brother simply going, at any point in time, "I admit what I did was wrong, I'm sorry I hurt you, will you please forgive me and us try to fix this." Instead it seems like he's content in being low contact and uninvolved, which going back to the start of this, also hurts because OP thought they had a strong bond and all this shattered it.
OP : Proceeds to explain why she felt left out by her brother
The internet : Goes full Twitter mode and calls her homophobic
I lowkey understand why folks say everyone is too sensitive now.
I have adhd and i will never do that to people i care about
Oh my fucking god how many times does she have to say she is not phobic? If you, the creator of the video, are reading this, next time edit and cut out the same repeating parts to create a better watching experience
Next time, instead of copy pasting the story into a Text to Speech AI, at least read it and remove the 3 updates in a row about redditors claiming she is -phobic and such. It's a waste of time and energie to hear it again and again when it was obvious the first time.
And left out the part about the OPs father, who touched her as a kid being invited behind her back. 🤮
@@gwenrichard7507
Excuse me what😬
@@fonandoozmando5961 yeah thats a big drama bomb missing from the story. the brother's dad (not sure if they have the same father) SAed her and he wanted him at the fake wedding. But you know, YT algorithms.
@@BurritofanWasn't it the first wedding?
@@brightiris Not sure now. This was pieced together from comments so I dont know which wedding the sperm donor went to.
EDIT! [Allegedly. OPs father is a PDFile. The father touched OP. The brother invited the father and did not tell OP. The couple can both burn]
The alphabet mafia sure did earn their name here by name calling OP over and over.
The fact the BIL could see how fucked up the situation was after reading but didn’t point this out to the husband is crazy. BIL seems to be holding a grudge about a past argument. You don't need to apologize like your trading hostages. BIL should call her up and apologize formally instead of this petty. "I'm sorry BUT..." no just be sorry. When he said "we tried to apologize but..." Sounds like BIL made excuses, she wanted more time and BIL wouldn't give her the time.
I'm assuming the brother is trying to defend the BIL after OP suggested this was all BILs idea, however, she was trying to give the brother the benefit of the doubt. Now she knows her brother hurt her, cats out of the bag. Oops, now shes more hurt then before and the couple took too long to talk to OP, she sees them as a united front, which they are now.
The brother needs to confront her about blaming the BIL and then apologize. OP should apologize if she sees the blaming BIL was her jumping to a wrong conclusion.
In short everyone is the AH, but the longer the couple waits, the more right the OP is and the less of the AH she is. That said if she is NC and blocked them and won't let her husband take the money then she can't expect a apology any time soon.
OP is the one who blocked the brother, not the other way around. Blocking the brother put the responsibility to reach out on her because for all any of us know the brother tried multiple times to reach out while blocked.
@@kcnichols8968 read the last sentence of the last paragraph.
The alphabet mafia really wanted to include the letter 'P" in their ranks.
I'm guessing she blocked their numbers and main socials, which is honestly the right move since the berating and belittling would probably only have gone on (since the brother thinks he did nothing wrong).
The money doesn't count as an apology. Pretty sure that's how she sees it as well.
Literally all the brother had to do was either
1) send her a letter
2) email her
3) communicate through the mother
4) contact her husband
5) create a new account to reach out to her.
Her brother is shit. She should've seen it earlier. The BIL too.
OP’s brother and his husband are effing monsters 😠
That commenter kinda pissed me off basically saying "Oh well OP was exaggerating about the brunch being for everyone but her, because even though the plan was for everyone to go, most didn't actually show up so it doesn't count". Like fuck right off with that.
My brother and I are good mates. Maybe not enough to get matching tattoos (although I’ve jokingly tried), but I think I’d punch my brother in the face if he did this to me. And I’m sure our mother would be insanely upset. She wouldn’t cut him off and go NC, but that relationship would never be the same again.
BIL said they had consulted everyone for fear something like this would happen, he knew the risk. Then the risk truly happened, getting angry about it. Who's the true narcissistic here 🤦🏻♀️
ok the husband and friend of the husband defending themselves really doesn't do anything at all? basically they're like "We did bad yeah but she didn't accept our apology and wouldn't talk to us after we did that horrible thing to her!!" and "I know this one person in this situation so I don't believe the victim"
Comments: aLpHabEt mAfIA
As a member of the LGBTQRSTU... I am offended by this comment.
@@gwenrichard7507 haha so funny
Op has to accept it= her brother doesn't love her. Let go!
"she assumed it was a big lunch when it wasn't" except you admitted that the case was they were all invited to go, just all but 2 had plans instead. From OP's perspective the lunch was going to be full of them because that's what the plan was.
For the love of God, those delusional bastards literally don't care about the story.
Anyways, Brother's husband should have stayed out of it. Brother himself should have involved OP then, being the fact that they were practically inseparable for so long. Why leave her out and lie to her like this? I guess his feelings about the relationship have changed in his mind but didn't feel the need to express them.
Lied to by brother and BIL let "best man" bully sister not interested in the fact sister missed fake bachelor party. BIL was a scumbag after the fact. Not overreacting at ALL!
I could kinda understand things if they wanted some 'wedding party' a year later because they couldn't have the celebration they wanted. But come on, I do _not_ buy that they excluded expressly OP from the wedding the first time, then didn't tell her, and now they just want her to 'get over it'. Dude you totally snubbed her and are a clear narcissist if you think a 'oh we didn't mean to hurt you' is an apology.
There are 3 things that matter in a situation, The [initial reason], the [path taken], and the [end consequences]. The initial reason appears to be a straight up lie, the path taken was lies a manipulation to get OP to do what they wanted, and the end result is OP being hurt. You say "Sorry, we didn't think this through, if we knew you'd be hurt by our choice we would have made different choices", not a "Sorry _you feel that way."_ because that literally says _"Just stop feeling bad, we don't."_ Narcissists always say that.
ETA: That 'wedding guest' is dubious at best, they don't deny what actually happened, nor that stuff like the bachelor party happening the day before she arrived didn't happen. Like was the 'post faux-wedding' meal only lacked people because... They realized brother hurt OP for seemingly no reason, and didn't want to join in a post prank celebration? Something is rotten here, and I literally can't find a justifiable reason to do all this unless you wanted to hurt OP.
That entire ‘community’ is so insecure. Always looking for ways to accuse people of being ___phobic.
That's the shittiest excuse ever.
BiL sucks even with all his reply. Poor OP
I don't care what sexuality you are. When you lie and consistently lie to get something from people and then be like haha surprise it's fake you got your money went out. Yeah I would be in the same condition as Opie
That family sucks
Ngl having a drag show at a wedding is based as fuck
So the bro and his husband knew that it wasn’t a good idea and still went along with it. They tricked everyone there. They could have just told people that they got married a while ago but this is the wedding they never got to have. However this was more like a prank or joke fake wedding so nah they suck.
Finally a snowfall video but ... barely 1 min in and im not sure this has a good ending yet
definitely not a good ending or uplifting story. But a good one.
She should not have had to defend herself that much from those damn commenters, gay people are not immune from dealing with the consequences of being an asshole, they are people just like anyone else and therefore should be held at the same standard as everyone else.
Just because somebody points out that someone who happens to be LGBT did something shity does not mean that they're homophobic, honestly it says more about you that you're willing to sidestep behavior just because of what someone is identified as. That is wrong, we treat people equally, not holding people to different standards for bs reasons.
25:16 who is this person? That is a big lunch! When OP wants only brunch with the grooms?! & they kept telling she's missing out writing things.
Saw this on rslash
Brother.
A couple of years ago my brother past.
We did plenty that the other didn't like but he was always my brother, my rock.
Fix this because some day he will be gone and it will be too late.
Eh, not always. Can’t wait for mine to be in the grave
First(i swear im not an NPC for saying this(
Reply to this then
It's funny when the people who support the LGHDTV stuff the hardest seem to avoid each other of all the phobias and spent that amount of time trying to prove they're on the same side lol
This is fake
The problem is weddings mean different things to different people. For most, it's a seminal moment and irreplaceable. To others it is just a contract and a party... If anyone saw her TikTok, she is low key insufferable.
I really think what happened is the couple went and had a small court room wedding but didn't feel like it was a "real" wedding until they had the actual big ceremony and somehow it all got lost in translation to the families. Idk how recent all these events were but A LOT of that happened right after gay marriage was legalized because so many couples raced out to get marriage licenses right after they were allowed to and not all of them actually had their big weddings for years afterwards.
@@kcnichols8968 But why wouldn't they TELL their family for a whole year, though? If you're so happy about getting married (even if you still want the full wedding later), then wouldn't you call up everyone afterwards to spread the good news? Keeping it secret outside what seems like their friend group until the wedding reception was an odd choice.
@FullMoonOctober because a lot of times they don't feel like they're really married until the actual big ceremony. I agree they should have told people, but it's entirely possible they got caught up in OP having a child right after having her latest child and didn't want to feel like they were trying to one up their sibling with it.
@@kcnichols8968 I think the timeline was that the first wedding was a few days before the birth (no idea if it was on time or early) but even if they weren't trying to upstage the baby--they chose when to get married. It could have been a few months before or after, easily, since they didn't do the whole party for that one.
@FullMoonOctober It's also entirely possible if not likely the couple had their date set for the wedding and then the baby came early and the reason they didn't tell OP before hand was the apparent animosity between OP and the BIL. I don't necessarily see this as a huge deal because when they had their big fancy wedding, they had their families come. Would it have been nice to let the family know they already got married? Yes, absolutely, but that doesn't take away from the fact that for one reason or another, this was their main big ceremony and for the OP to effectively throw a hissy fit and block him then blame him for not trying to fix it.
i have a feeling that OP and her brother had a falling out in the past that wasn't mentioned or that OP wasn't told about and it festered and turned into this. oh well.
I thought the falling out was the music studio story or sometime around then
I saw this before and so OP's father is a pdfile and harrassed/assulted OP and the first "real" he invited the father hence didn't invite OP. So yeah.
@@brightiris woah... that's messed up D: source?
@@muggyate There are some replies in the comment who said it. I can't really give you the previous videos cuz I saw it at least months ago. This is a pretty old story.
This whole ordeal is sad. And why is it the alphabet gang looks for "phobic" ppl constantly. Like this is the victim olympics or something lmfao
Lol ppl don't like to be told that they are actually a shitty person... can yall tell?? Lol
what the fuck are you even saying?