Adult with Autism | Autism & Narcissism | 67
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- Difficult video to attempt, but one I feel is needed to address.
Some people believe Autism and Narcissism are the same thing. This couldn't be further from the truth, and I simply wanted to share lived experience and my perspective on why the two are polar opposites.
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#autisticadult #adultwithautism #narcissist
12:11 when you mentioned that you can’t tolerate watching or listening to the news because you dislike how horrible humans are to each other. I’m the same, I never watch the news for the same reasons.
The TV news will show such horrific things and then go to adverts and then return and talk about the weather as if nothing happened previously. 🤷♂️
I NEVER watch the news 😔 horrible
The irony of my narcissistic mother describing my autism, post diagnosis as a "mental health problem". She said that to me just after saying "I always knew you were autistic". Great, wait until I'm 45 and figure it out for myself before sharing that...
It sounds like she's happy to have a reason to blame you for the discord. Mines the same
I'm sorry you have been through this. I could have dodged 25 years of depression if my family had taken a bit more interest in the possibility that I'm autistic.
Lol sounds familiar. Mine also loves to say "see I always knew that was gonna happen" after the fact. With my diagnosis she simply refused to accept it "you're fine".
the "I'd rather work through the lunch break and leave an hour earlier"...that's me as well!
People used to get so nasty with me because I just wanted to be alone and recover to face the rest of the workday 😔 Shitty comments, criticism, and God forbid if I ever suggested wanting to work through lunch and get off an hour early, or even half an hour 😐
"there is no greater threat; no more of a natural enemy of autism than narcissism" 💯 🔥👌
A narcissist is how I happen to find out I'm autistic. I didn't find out because things went well 🤷🏻♂️
Actually allistic people tend to exhibit more often narcissistic traits compared to autistic people - based on my almost 50 years life experience as well as what I've read about narcissism (I was raised by a single malign narcissistic mother so I know a thing or two about that). Allistic people intuitively manipulate and lie, it is part of their hierarchical social status thinking and it is linked to their social cues. Autistic people I got to know are more direct, honest and precise and way less manipulative and deceptive. TRUTH is for a lot of autistic people (including myself) something almost sacred! And it is always the allistic people who assume something ulterior from the autistic person and would blame the autistic for their projections... I'm a happy hermit now. Allistic people have nothing to offer for me that would be worth of making any effort for them and that's why I only connect with Autists and people with ADHD. No more games. Our life time is to precious for that BS...
💯
My observation matches yours. The way I say it is "society makes minor narcissists out of anyone who follows its norms".
When you hold truth to be sacred or nearly so (telling outright lies makes my skin crawl, and even minor lies or deception takes a lot of effort), seeing and experiencing socially normative behavior looks just like narcissism to me, its just on a smaller scale than genuine narcissists. To me, the difference is, normal people have a line beyond which they feel uncomfortable or guilty about the manipulation of someone else for their personal gain, where as true narcissists, there is no line.
I do wish I could ignore the news, but for me it is about balancing the discomfort that comes from not feeding my hyper-vigilance (defensive posture of information = comfort via understanding) and discomfort with the harsh realities of the world. Information seeking almost always prevails.
I am always glad to hear your thoughtful perspectives. Thank you for sharing.
most of the news is fake propaganda designed to manipulate your perspectives
You always articulate my thoughts and experiences so much better than I ever could. Thank you. I have the same experience at lunches and it was a problem in previous workplaces but I found telling my colleagues I was an introvert was better understood than telling them I was autistic. In my current role I work with all introverts, some autistic and some not but it’s the best work environment I’ve ever experienced and we all have lunch apart 😂
Beware all Cluster B personality disorders, especially for us neurodivergent folk.
Cluster B
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Cheers for the great video 👍
From what i've come across on quora and facebook, it seems fairly common for those who are AuDHD to be misdiagnosed as borderline.
So nice to see you back and hear your voice. A voice of reason and care. Like some others in these comments, I have spent decades with narcissists in my family. When I finally made the decision to completely break connection, peace entered my life. Not that life is easy being autistic be there are ways to find peace. Taking the absolutely necessary time to recharge is not an option for us. What other people think about that is not my problem to solve. Now in my 70s I can finally say my life is more my own than ever and if feels good and right. Thank you Paul for sharing.
I often get pulled up for being too direct and talking about non PC issues. My ex called me a narcissist but my current girlfriend was the first person to say she thinks i'm autistic. Honestly I feel like being autistic has been an advantage most of my life. For my special interests, if i'm really interested in achieving something, I can be unstoppable and extremely effective
Hell yeah! Honestly, some people run into our bluntness and don’t know how to deal with it. It can be a bit of projection on their part. Glad to hear you seem to have a partner that gets it. Cheers
@@Chucanelli most people are fake, playing a character. You don't know if what they're saying is what they really believe. I always say what I think, and always try to find the truth
This video was so helpful to me. First of all, in the front half, there were so many times where I said “YES! Finally someone gets it!”
On the narcissism thing: I was worried I might be a narcissist for a while, because the traits lined up superficially. But your explanation of this made it clear that the difference is what it’s like to actually be in relationship with someone. I tend to try to find ways I’m at fault in a conflict, because then at least I have some agency in the resolution. That habit can make someone a bit self-absorbed, but it comes from a very different place from the narcissistic allergy to finding fault in oneself at all.
Great to have you back Paul.
I too cannot watch the news, it effects me deeply, cannot understand why everything is so unfair!
It's a struggle.
100% agree with you Paul. I've been burnt by so many narcissists throughout my life, including a narcissistic father who I'm estranged from. We are strong advocates of social justice, and truth telling. For some bizarre reason, many people don't like this about our community. P s, it's lovely to see you back on our screens 😊
This is very helpful. Thank you. 🩷
Brilliant video.
Thank you for taking the time to put this information out there, it is appreciated 😊
At 7:59, could not agree more.
Thank you, Beautifully put as always. You always make sense.
Very informative video. I have been a victim to a narcissist recently, so when you mentioned about autistic people being a target for narcissistic people, that made so much sense.
I relate to your vids so much- I was so excited to see you posted a new one. I was married once to someone who was most likely both autistic and narcissistic- I'll never know. But he was a weird mix between super logical and pathological liar. I fell for it until I saw the pattern. It took a long time and the diagnosis of my daughter (and my own suspected autism) to realize that he could in fact be both and one is bad and the other is not. People aren't all that educated about what autism is and they don't have a curious enough mind to learn the truth
"there is no more natural enemy" 😭♥️ thank you for putting together your thoughts & experiences on this; so many points resonate... even if I've never put them together that way before. cheers.
Hiya Paul, I think narcissistic people likely play head games. Me as an autistic person just can't do that. I'm literally unable to.
I also believe, unless you're autistic, you're never gonna get the joke, so to speak. Know what I mean. That's been my experience so far.
You are spot on , as usual.
You inspire me, validate me, you are my voice of reason through the madness.
I sent you an email recently . Thanks .
.
Thank you for the video! I can relate to being deeply affected by the news & choosing to avoid/limit exposure to stay regulated (or even be able to function).
I’ve had experience with one narcissist who was the real deal. It took me 3 months to figure it out (to recognize patterns & detect BS), but it was a very bad experience. A huge difference between that and autism I’d say is the (edit) *narcissist’s* willingness to hurt a human or animal for self gain without conscience.
Same reason's i don't listen to the news! Breaks for me at work are just as you described! The word "break" means to me free of any expectations from anyone for the next 30 minutes or so. It's my time i earned, to do whatever i want, so i can go back to work, to finish out what everyone else wants from me!
Paul, As someone who had a narcissistic mother, I can tell you what you said about narcissists, you are correct! There is more to it and more complex but you said the gist and you could be there all day talking about narcissistic traits. Some people just don’t understand what a narcissist really is because people use it so loosely today and not in the real meaning.
When people do their homework and really look into narcissism they might have a better understanding of it.
🏆 Great Video ❤️ Thank You.
Thank you! So true. Unfortunately been raised by narcissisticparents and other familymembers. Very hard to break free from. It almost destroyed me. I realised I needed to go no contact. For the first time in my life I have peace eventhough I still have to deal with CPTSD from my upbringing.
Thank you, Paul. Nice to see you.
I love what you said about masking as a defence mechanism, and yes I do the same, my autism presents in a very similar manner to yours but I have less speaking capabilities. But anyway, my masking, I do so as a defence but I mask as a threat, people choose not to interact in case I am a threat. But really I'm a cuddly idiot. Works really well for me. People I am comfortable around, who know me see the harmless idiot, strangers see a threat and leave me alone and give me space. I never act aggressively obviously, I'm not an arsehole but the threatening appearance alone is enough to give me that peace on the street or tough situations. Please keep making your videos, it's really nice and healthy to relate.
Yasss you are back. Thank you
Great to see you back on TH-cam Paul: very poignant topic too...
I'm a Qualified Elec Engineer who had his Career completely Destroyed by Narcissists. This happened years ago before I was diagnosed as having High-Functioning Autism.
After COVID I Quit the Corporate Pantomime, and now live quietly in my Cabin up in the Mountains. I've had lots of time to reflect on the past abuse by the Narcs... they gave me CPTSD. I wouldn't wish this on Anyone.
I'm OK during the day, but I do get 'Night Terrors'.
I have always felt the need to isolate during breaks even back in school. I was the odd duck mocked by everyone because I would take my lunch off school grounds during recess/lunch break. Only after getting in trouble for doing so was I offered somewhere to sit quietly during those breaks, yet it was framed as a disciplinary action and not an accommodation. This was my first real experience of being different and started the internalization of being the problem which I still battle with today.
I now run my own business and in doing so I need to cut out time to recharge… thankfully I started the business about the same time I started learning of my neurodivergence which means I have been very forward with informing clients of my needs.
It’s sensory overload to listen to people eat and talk, especially with so many bodies in one space.
Still learning to accept my need for quiet rest throughout the day… no I really don’t want to “go out and play” 🤔
Thank you Paul for pointing out some very important distinctions between Autism and Narcissism. While there are many overlapping traits, I think it's the predatory instincts of the narcissist that set us apart.
And yes, I also can not watch the news without becoming incredibly disregulated. Living in the US right now, the news has become a daily soap opera of performative politics and new atrocities appear on that front every day. Not only does it upset me but it creates a further feeling of "otherness" from the society that I exist in because daily I'm reminded that the majority of people in this country put their faith and trust in someone to lead who is intentionally cruel, thoughtless and inspiring others to be the same. It makes me fearful for the future of my children and grandchildren.
Thank you as always for your opinion and insight, your voice matters so much in this space and you are appreciated for what you do❤
Well said Paul
HI Paul well said and well explained as usual !!! so happy to see you back !!
Thanks Gemma 👍🏻
Great video.
I hard relate to the need to recharge at lunch when I worked in an office. I too ate alone, or sat in my car.
I also did a video on the differences between narcissism and autism and you and I covered a lot of the same things.
The literature does say that autism and narcissism can be comorbid, but I just find this so hard to believe. They are so diametrically opposed, as you so rightfully stated.
We are very much in our own heads, try to relate to other's stories with our own to try to relate to bridge some of those gaps in the social deficits category... We might seem very particular about our routines and special interests which can come off very "me me me"...
But when you dig into the heart of it, as you have done here, you understand how different they are.
I do see a lot of women in online neurdiverse relationship groups that have the perception that their autistic spouse is narcissistic... And I have empathy and understanding as to why they conflate the two.
The concern for me will always be the lack of knowledge on Autism which leads people to assume it is naturally Narcissism. There needs to be a monumental shift in who provides the evidence of Autism and the consequences of spreading false narratives about it. It does a lot of damage, but the same people who spread the lies, also don't care. Quite...narcissistic of them really 👍🏻
@AdultwithAutism I agree. You've done a great job here in adding to that narrative shift.
Another great video Paul! So very true.. unfortunately, I have experienced this firsthand… I often questioned my authenticity, my honest self, only to be “ stung” by the narcissist! You are correct… it is the opposite, of autism… so grateful to have found your channel… great content!…👍🙏🤗
Thank you so much for sharing this. It's crucial information. For me (I'm on the Autism spectrum, Aspergers), the warning about narcissists and the red flags to beware of unfortunately came too late. I've lost significant finances, several years of my life and my mental health has severely deteriorated as a result of years of exposure to narcissistic abuse. I've gone no contact for about a year now and I'm still barely functioning compared to what I was like before the abuse.
Ooooh man! How much I can relate when you're talking about people at workplace! This has been such a pain that I needed ultimately find a remote job and work from home. That's perfect, but lonely. To want to be around people is something waaay diferrent than to want to connect. And nothing is so painful than be around people and cannot connect at all...
My brotherhood had wives that are very narcissistic it really drained him. He found it way better been out of those relationships
Thank you Paul, as always i really connected with what you have said.
I know the dangers of the narcissists. Unfortunately my grand mother, step father and my mother are all narcissists. yep 3 of them 😔 and i am a late diagnosed as Autistic.
As a result of the manipulation, lies and violence of the above three " family members" has left me with cptsd.
Needless to say i have a full understanding of how they can ruin lives.
I've had to go no contact with my grandmother since 2013 (12 years) & 5 years with my mother & step father.
I'd tell any autistic person to know the traits of narcissistic people to be aware and remove yourself from their connection. They are so damaging.
Sorry to hear that, and it is very important for Autistics as you say to know a few of the signs, even if to keep in the back of their mind...just in case.
@@AdultwithAutism I am working through it and getting on with my own more peaceful life now. i really think it is valuable knowledge to have.
Thanks again for your content you always bring subjects that are valuable to those who are Autistic and hopefully those who are not as well. Keep up the great work. it is hugely appreciated.
Thank you for being back again, they give me strength in everyday life to have you as support in my journey
I'm glad you are on TH-cam. I just found you. I'm 65, female. Not diagnosed. But had a hard life. I've been to therapists who all have dx me with anxiety, depression, and panic disorder. I'm finding I have a lot of autistic traits, mostly socially based. Like avoiding social events. If I have to go somewhere, it takes weeks to prepare, such as a wedding. Then I have to load up on xanax to go.
I'm a loner. Have no friends, and enjoy being alone.
Thx for sharing your thoughts here. Really appreciate them.
Thanks for that!!! Every word a pearl and perfect timing for me right now. Wish I had people around more like us and I do have one or two but yeah..kind of outnumbered. Ah well cheers Paul
Hi Paul! I missed your videos. 😊
Thanks
Awesome video! The work scenario is all to familiar and basically everything resonates
Same. Especially the "lone lunching" part.
"You should never say I don't know when its about yourself because the one thing you owe yourself in life is to know yourself completely. So when someone says why did you do that you should have an answer."
I absolutely love this statement. At the same time, that statement carries a lot of weight in different ways. However, given time, ones understanding of themselves should be getting refined with time, starting with broad strokes and refining the nuance the more they gain experience and perspective.
Another thing (in my experience) that makes this a loaded statement is the fact that many neurotypicals don't care what you were thinking or why you did something. The only thing they care about is the results as they perceive them, and such questions as "What were you thinking" or "why did you do that" are almost universally accusations of wrong doing. It took me 26 years to finally wrap my head around that. I used to answer those "questions" as if they were real questions, then the person asking would get even MORE upset.
cheers pal
Bang on observations! Thanks for sharing! In the "person fell down the staircase example" I think it would actually be the narcisist who whould call us out for behaving the way we behaved in an accident situation like that. Because they are not bothered with what happened, but always on the look for levers to manipulate ppl with. The example really resonated with me I have to say. As did the (new to me) description/analogy of masking with the scent masking behaviour many animals do. Although there might be a caveat there, if I'd find out that mostly hunting animals cover their scent with the one of their pray to not be detected .. would not look too good on us then ;) Still - I really like picturesque analogies and I feel like the more tools I have to describe my experience from all kinds of angles - the more chances I have to make myself understood with people I need or want to deal with.
Thank you for being so open and honest with how you feel and see the world. It always resonates with my version of reality. Appreciate your work!
I've definitely found myself in situations with narcissists, both work and socially. Naively I've often blamed myself for their behaviour and ended up doing things to keep them 'happy'. Unfortunately these people do not change and seriously damage your energy and health....plus it is difficult to extricate yourself when you lack self esteem. So trust your initial instincts about people is what I've learned. Thankyou for the video Paul....clear, insightful and helpful.
This was a great discussion. I’ve been taken in by narcissists before and only recognized them as such by breaks in the pattern, as you said. I read somewhere that autistics have poor cognitive empathy but excellent affective empathy, so we miss nonverbal cues and can appear to not respond as expected. However out strong affective empathy means when we can read a person (through verbal cues or more obvious nonverbal cues like crying) we literally feel another person’s emotion. Narcissists have strong cognitive empathy but very weak affective empathy. They can read people like a book but use that ability to manipulate them. They don’t feel what others feel and and they don’t care about the other person. So autistic people and narcissists are complete opposites.
Hey Paul, so good to hear your voice and see you again. You've hit the nail on the head. I've dealt with quite a number of narcissists in my life, and it's so true what you're saying. Thank you for pointing out the main differences because so many neuro typical people perceive us as rude and socially awkward. Be blessed, and keep up with your great work!
Wonderful video - I especially enjoyed the examples you gave. I think people might also confuse narcissism with achievement & profile. For example, having a TH-cam channel! I would be a liar if I said I didn't enjoy receiving praise for it, but does that make me a narcissist? No. I absolutely hate the idea of anyone being hurt. It drives me wild with despair when I see people treating other people with such careless cruelty. In my experience, autistic people are the opposite to narcissists - they want people to be looked after. They want peace not pain.
It's like some of those Autistic questionnaires. What would you rather do go to a party or a library. Well, I'd rather go to the party, but I can't because i won't be able to cope with it. I don't watch and/or listen to the news for the same reason. I would get horribly depressed. I've been married to one and it was not nice. And unfortunately a child was involved. I played my role by enabling her behavior, and I can forgive myself for that now. Moving on.
Best description of both autistic and narcissistic traits ive heard.
This is really helpful both personally and for the community. Thanks
Thank you again Paul for sharing this topic. I really appreciate it very much and resonate.. I finally got the break I had been hoping for over 8.5 years when the horrible abusive narcissist got picked up by the county police for choking out my daughter and my grandchildren and I went through many years of hell but we moved away from that isolated compound and the perpetrator is out of our lives now. I have been slowly coming back from burnout but do have some PTSD. Narcissists are monsters, and not to be confused with autism in general. Because I am autistic and he was like the devil and poison for me and my autistic grandson because he treated us worse than junkyard dogs. 😞
Sorry to hear that 😞
I have an autistic friend. They engage in behaviours that are destructive to forming meaningful relationships in pursuit of avoiding loneliness. This unfortunately has a direct impact on me as the person trying to form that relationship which could be interpreted as self centred or more strongly narcissistic. Moreover because repetitive and restrictive behaviour characterises autism they are unable to stop, which leaves you in a cycle of perpetual hurt and this leads you to unfortunately walk away. So whilst not intentional narcissism that’s how it comes across
Clicked the video as soon as I saw it. I was not disappointed. Good show as always brother.
Yaaay! So stoked to see my favorite TH-camr this morning. I’ve missed you, it’s kinda weird because I don’t know you personally but it feels like an old friend coming to visit❤
Lunchtime at university I always used to end up sitting on my own. I hated it being around all these full tables if people happily chatting. I did try to get to know people and asked if I could sit with them for example, but felt totally unwelcome, and was very aware I was making them uncomfortable. So I often went elsewhere to eat. Often paying again for food, because the University lunches were pre-paid for. So to answer the question you were asked, I'd say I'd ideally want to sit with people more, but it's just not possible
It's good to hear from you again.
I know how it works; we reach out when there is something we find important, or interesting to communicate, otherwise we will just stay silent, we won’t call our mom, or friends, or even someone we share a hobby with, and spent time together more often than with others. It is the way it is: simply put, no reason to do it Then write 10 pages, and spam their mailbox :P
Around 5th minute you talk about your workplace from the past, and that they never asked you about you. Imagine them doing it, except they disbelief, ignore it, or just don’t take seriously, every single time, and that you have to answer those questions daily, on top of exclusion, and mockery. Such constant invalidation of your experiences is extremely gaslighting and it used to make me think I’m completely nuts, and make me want to try to hide the truth, such was my life before I was diagnosed, and self-identified That’s pretty much my current workplace, as well as all previous, some were worse. Stares full of hate given me, because I don’t talk much, and don’t answer small-talk questions. I tried few times “Can you tell me if you have ever seen me or heard about me doing something bad to someone, or saying something bad to someone?” I get silence, followed by accusations, that I’m accusing them. Except, they never say, what is it I’m accusing them off doing. I can’t even follow such a twisted illogical thinking that must be behind. They would never explain themselves, or what it is they just thought about the situation.
Those calling themselves normal do not care what is going on inside our heads, or narcissistic heads, they only see outside, seemingly sometimes similar, and don’t care, and if they need to confront the reality of not caring being discovered, they’d use ‘whataboutery’ to avert attention from themselves.
I don't even own TV to avoid exposure to 'news' and 'commercials'. The last thing someone suffereing after some horrible disaster needs, is to be poked, and proded, and face demands to 'say how you feel", when you can't even say 's'h'i't', because it is not 'proper'.
I'd add at the end:
but autistic narcissists would present different to normal narcissists, and you (directed to a 'normal' person) wouldn't probably consider them being narcissists
Hey Paul,
First off, I just wanted to say how much your videos have meant to me, especially during my journey of discovering and embracing my autistic identity. Your content has been like a beacon of light, helping me connect the disparate shards of who I am into a more cohesive whole. The authenticity and vulnerability you bring to your channel is truly touching, and seeing your new video pop up warmed my heart.
I hope you don't mind me sharing some thoughts on the language around autism. I completely respect your choice of words, and I'm not trying to change your view at all. It's just that when I hear "has autism," I can't help but feel a bit disconnected. For me, being autistic is so intrinsically part of who I am - it's not just about the content of what I say or do, but the very way I process and interact with the world.
I totally get that the word "autistic" might feel constraining or like being put in a box. But I've found that embracing it has actually been liberating. It's opened me up to a diverse community of amazing autistic content creators who are expanding what autism can mean. This broader understanding has brought me a sense of belonging and self-esteem I never expected.
Of course, this is just my perspective, and I absolutely respect yours. I'm sharing this in the spirit of engagement and appreciation for your work. Your calm voice and unique style have been so important in my journey, and I'm incredibly grateful you're here sharing your experiences.
Thank you for all you do, Paul. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday!
Thank you for the kind words.
For the language discussion, I am firmly in the camp that as autism is an individual difference per each individual, it's entirely their choice how they choose to reference their autism, and it isn't the place of anyone else to tell them otherwise should it clash with their personal opinion or feelings.
Autism is an amazing neuro type and my greatest attribute. Maybe I'll do a video in future on this 👍🏻
@@AdultwithAutism Hi Paul,
I wanted to circle back as I realize I didn’t represent some reasons behind person-first language choices as thoroughly as I should have in my comment. Your perspective deserves that nuance, and I’ve been digging deeper into Bury’s 2022 study to better understand the motivations.
The three key themes from participants who preferred “with autism” phrasing were:
1. Connection - Emphasizing connection with allistics
2. Diversity preservation - The term “autistic” might seem to reduce the diversity in the community
3. Autonomy - Resisting being put in a box
These themes align with values that are so core to me: sense of belonging, diversity (especially in representation), and autonomy. They’re not abstract concepts-they’re the bedrock of how I’ve learned to embrace myself.
What struck me was how many study participants framed this as a pragmatic choice rather than an ideological stance. I completely respect how you navigate these waters with such intentionality. Your work consistently models what the autistic community does best: holding space for multiple truths to coexist. However we phrase it, we’re richer for having your voice in the conversation.
I think autistics and narcissists are actually quite amenable to each other or they are to me anyway. True narcissists are deeply wounded, and also they play by very clear, sensible rules and can be interacted with on those terms. Yes often you have to keep distance, but it is possible to do that in ways unlike with neurotypicals who will go to no end to make your life misery, a narcissist if you know how to deal with them will exit your universe and move on, or at least be polite (obviously stay on good side and be careful heh)
Also I am certain so many autistics claiming to have narc parents are actually just dealing w their own parents misunderstood autism and this just goes to show projection is very strong all around. There definitely are very many shared traits and just as people have so badly portrayed autistics, so it goes too with narcissists. Not a good wagon to jump on! It’s just more neurotypical social slander imo
Another great video, Paul 👌 Thanks for sharing 🙏
Hi buddy. I haven’t seen your recordings in a while. Not sure why you haven’t appeared on my feed but glad to see you.
💯
Hey, Paul!! Really great to see you back, man!
I always look forward to your videos, a space I feel completely understood. Thank you
8.50 at least people wanted to sit next to u mate thats at least a positive. I had situations at work to the opposite where i would sit with colleagues in the canteen and they make it quite clear they didnt want to talk to me or they would discuss really gossipy comments or weird small talk and they would show a lack of empathy to others. They would deliberately talk about topics such as what they were doing on the weekend and i felt pressured to join in even though they knew i didnt have much of a life on weekends. Sometimes they would sneak out for lunch and wouldnt invite me anyway. Its better to sit on your own and retain your own pride and independence than sit with gossipers anyway. Great video
Just to question your point at 11.32 providing a reason for some autistic people is hard as their is something called Alexithemia whereby u can't understand your own emotions or thoughts and this means actions can be tricky to explain.
Completely agree with your description of 'News' wow. Thanks
Brilliantly explained Paul. Great video.
So much appreciated - thank you my friend!
Bravo, Paul. Just…bravo.
4:36 those are always projections, which is funny when you start picking up on it.
Truth here❤
Thankyou 🙂
I have been living with a narcassist for 12 year i am gonna be honest they were always mad cause i ignored the living hell out of him slash her i just cant be bothered😅😅😅
Good on you, but also get outta there! 😂
Yeah i was thinking the same. I need to get the hell out like you said❤
Thank you very much paul lets go i really enjoyed your video gonna rewatch it a few times fot thee intake😊
Some people will repeat jokes, even if they don't understand them, just to get a laugh. They will do the same with political slogans to sound smart. If you try to find out if they're serious, they get threatened. What are we supposed to do with these hand grenades of speech?
I'm comfortable these days with not giving people with what they demand and stay true to myself. Especially if it is a detrimental want. I'll deal with the fallout, but keep my pride.
Missed ya
Hey Paul, I will finally start my assessment on Friday (7th Feb 2025) and your opening statement scares the living daylights out of me. I know the assessors will be NT's, I know I'm 54 years old and have changed and adapted as much as I possibly can (though obviously no where near enough), and I may not present enough obvious traits for them to see. Will my masking work so well that I can't be detected and diagnosed as autistic? This frightens me more than being diagnosed as autistic.
Maybe I'm anxious for no reason, maybe they know the correct questions to ask, but when you have had a psychiatrist deny an assessment for nearly 15 years, a psychiatrist whom I've never met, never heard of, but still says I make excellent eye contact therefore I'm not autistic. It makes me wonder how things will go.
Autistics that also is npd, is actually misdiagnosed.. theyre not autistic.
We have a part in our brain called "the autistic part", its something even neurotypicals have until we start to develop from newborn baby in very different ways.. all npd's have traits like: dont understand social neurotypical norms, narsisisstic rage(is mistaken for meltdowns), are paranoid, (looks from the outside ,like cptsd in autistics), and sooo much more
Finding it hard , loneliness element .
I was just thinking of the neanderthals. Scientist think they were loners. Were they perceived as a threat, not because they were not actually violent, but because they weren't meshed into tribe? Karra is here. On my left side