You'll watch an entire Netflix show even when the first episodes are slow and boring just because someone told you "it gets better." *But what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead???*
Great point. Even if financially it doesn't get insanely better, creatively I've pushed myself and grown so much, the aspect of money has been less worrying. There are always jobs to be taken. But there's not always inspiration so I'm learning to really take advantage of it when inspiration does strike.
People will always hate you. Untalented, people make fun of you, too talented no one likes you. Dumb, people hate you, too intelligent people hate. Ugly, get teased, too good looking people get jealous. Bottom line is fk people, they are average, 90 iq masses of hateful people. Do you.
When i was younger, i was in what i thought was a pretty serious relationship. I was in college, burned out, broke, and taking a semester off. in reality, i was probably on my way to permanently dropping out of school. During this time, I found out that my partner was cheating on me with one of my other close friends, and we broke up once this came to light. I asked the usual questions of "Why do you want someone else" and the answer i got was a shallow... basically "i think the other guy is going to be more successful than you" That fucking devastated me... because that's not how i saw myself at all. I felt like i was just collecting myself to try again, or try something different.. and then i got hyper-motivated in the worst way. I basically went into "i'll show her what she's missing out on" mode... and finished college. Twice. With honors... I'm finally doing the work that i think is important, im finally realizing goals i've had for a long time. I even did it with only a tiny amount of debt that i paid off in the first year out of school. I rode that Revenge Success train to the bank until the thought of revenge "winning" just wore off and became meaningless... and i began realizing that i could have done the same thing thinking about my own interests, rather than some other person's opinion, and i could have done it with much less anger and spite. I'm where i am today because of years of unhealthy motivation... but it also gave me the resources and space i needed to work on the healthier me now. I don't recommend it... but "Fuck you" can be one powerful motivator.
this reminds me of adults trying to spite their childhood bullies, at some point you need to give yourself permission to let go and set your own standards, letting go isn't letting them off the hook, it's letting yourself off the hook for feeling guilty about what they did to you
@@sarah3602 Not surprisingly, she went through a very dark period in her life. When you associate with people that hold that kind of view, that's kind of to be expected. What is surprising though is that we actually are on good terms again. We re-connected recently, both very different people, and have become the closest of friends. She called me one night out of the blue about 5 years ago needing someone (really anyone...) to talk to. I really didn't care, but i knew if she didn't leave there she'd probably be dead in a month. I ended up driving across the country, picked her up with a single suitcase, and dropped her off back in her hometown at her mom's to start over. Over 2 days of driving we let it all out. Just straight venting about all the pain we each carried. With each other, with anything, just uncorked the bottle of emotions and poured it out, past and present. We talk almost every day now, and are both becoming the people we wanted to be. Once the gloves came off while we shouted and cried on the drive to her mom's place, and we hashed out our beef along the way... the raw unfiltered honesty stayed with our new friendship, and is why we're close once again. It took almost 10 years to get here, and im glad with how things ended up. Nobody understands why I'd ever talk to her again, but that's OK. They have no idea how either of us have changed or how great it is to have someone that knows all your dirty laundry... and i don't really need them to understand either. So in the end it's a melancholicly happy story, but it took a lot to get there. :)
Anger is useful. It is energy. It creates change. Sorrow just buries us, turns us to sludge. It's not good to live in anger, but if the anger is there and you can harness it like a bucking horse to ride to a destination - any destination better than where you're trapped - do it. I think if we surveyed people on their true motivations behind everything they do, seldom would you find a person with pure intentions.
I've watched a number of "fear of success" videos because I know that fear is why I procrastinate, but this one hits different. I relate so much to a couple of your points. You have identified exactly where my particular flavour of fear is originating. Now that I know where the problems lay I can address them. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us, struthless. You're definitely helping people.
It came from your heart. Kudos! Also, you are to enjoy the power of "Now"; before you do more self critique. Every day is a new day and it is certainly different. Therefore, get back to the people who "You" matter to. Be it one person, get in touch and you'd find more success due to the resonating energies. This is called constructive interference. Thanks.
Dr. K (Healty Gamer GG) often asks people, who he interviewes if there was a time when they didn't yet have the problem they're struggling with. And very often when they remember that, they are able to identify key happenings in their life's that caused them to have a specific mindset. I found this profoundly helpful for my own wellbeing, because it helps so well to separate adult me from helpless-child or helpless-young-person me.
I’m about to graduate after a long battle of financial and mental crisis, the fact I’m about graduate is considered a success and an image that I am not familiar with myself, I always thought I won’t make it till the end. Seeing this video is such a good timing, especially facing my final exams :) Always loved your videos, always reminding me to take it one step at a time and look at things differently. Thanks, Campbell! EDIT: I finished my studies and I’m all set for my graduation! Even decided to opt for the ceremony as a testament and celebration that I pulled through. 😭 this was something I initially thought I didn’t deserve to go for.
Great video as usual. However, in my case my fear of success is more of a "Can I actually handle it?" when it happens and can I keep up with the expectations of the people who actually made me be in that place - fans, clients, viewers. With that stress and when you add a sprinkle of imposter syndrome the cocktail that is created doesn't taste nice and subconsciously I self sabotage myself.
Yesss! I feel the same way! What I've realized, though is that humans can easily adapt to things, because I've been able to do things in the past that didn't seem possible for me to handle, but I was able to pull through anyway! We are probably much stronger and more capable than we think! So I'm starting not to worry too much about the future, because, who knows, I might have gathered enough experience and expertise to successfully handle anything that I may face at that point in the future! I wish you the best!
From México, i'm SO thankful for your videos. I usually Enter to TH-cam when i'm on a crisis and don't know what to do. Sometimes i don't Even know how to look for what i need to hear and then booooom the answer. Thanks, you are amazing 🦀
When you spoke about how as soon as you kill the desire to desperately have something, that is when you can actually have that thing, it reminds me of the NZ men's rowing team who recently won gold at the Olympics, they cited pretty much the same thing as one of the major reasons they were able to win the gold medal.
8:10 As a perfectionist, I really agree with this, as long as you focus on just trying to convey what you mean, it really works wonders, correcting yourself for every minute mistake you make is just gonna leave you stressed and not have the motivation to make the video anymore.
I love this. I was way too attached to my dream of becoming a fitness youtuber and it caused me immense stress so I quit. I pursued something completely different where I wasn’t too bothered about success and achieved that goal in way less time. Love this message - don’t care about the results, focus on the journey (cliche but it’s sooo true)
I freaking love you Thank you my man! Just went through the biggest crisis in my life, and I’m totally restarting everything lost my family my friends my fiancé my god and just everything hit the freaking fan and I can’t express how much I needed this all ur other videos Thank you so so much, I can’t express to You how much even ur style of “chill your Jets dude life is good if You let it” Just thank you man from the bottom of my heart ❤️❤️❤️
I REALLY resonate with the "Remove the need to be successful". For example, with my TH-cam channel I first made videos and I always thought it had to be perfect for all the wrong reasons (i.e. Success). Which stressed me out so much... But now I make videos that make me proud (and nothing else) and I enjoy it so much more, get more done, and I feel more fulfilled. Ofc they are not super successful, but at least I made a video I can say I am proud of and nobody can take that away from me.
I tried explaining my “fear of success” to my therapist and she was so confused. “Don’t you mean fear of failure?” She asked. And I just couldn’t provide a reason that made sense to her. You have eloquently articulated what has been rustling around in my brain for years. Thank you 🥰
Hey, I am not sure if you will see this but I've been watching your videos for a few months. I was in huge denial about how depressed and anxious I really was. Your videos, what you're about etc encouraged me to seek professional help for my mental health. I started antidepressants today so I'm excited for this journey. Your tips did help me gain some control of my life back but I definitely need the extra support of professionals. Thanks so much
@@user-rx7lc1od7w I don't have ig anymore. I just couldn't handle being on that app with poor mental health. I picked up 12 rules for life and I am restarting therapy. Hopefully it goes well
1:35 in and already, this video was a breath of fresh air. your ability to casually and candidly acknowledge your "success crash" whilst reminding us of the "post dip growth" made me breathe a sigh of relief. thank you for reminding me I'm human, these are human feelings and Im no less human (or successful) for experiencing these things too. congrats on the recent successes and thanks for always keeping it real 🤙
The journalling exercise at the end: 1. What do I define as Shallow Success? 2. What do I define as Deep Success? 3. Why do I want Shallow Success? 4. What would Shallow Success mean for my life? 5. What are the negative repercussions of Shallow Success? 6. Why am I scared of them? 7. What would happen if they came true? 8. What do I fear most about Success? 9. How does this relate to my relationship to Deep Success? 10. How Can I heal?
I go through waves of this… I realized it’s a lot of my own definitions of success that define my happiness. Sometimes overlooking small success keeps from reaching big success later. I also have been always told people learn a lot more from failing than from success. Accepting failure is not easy but needed for success
I’ve had a dream to become a famous rapper/musician since something like 5 years back. I always thought it was my destiny. Sadly this dream has brought me a ton of pain and misery. I had a passion and was definitely interested in rap music which is here I started. But over the years I got more and more hungry for that “shallow success” (fame, power, money) and I thereby lost my original interest. I have thereby felt very miserable whenever I do bad music or no music at all. I’ve been treated badly by some people and my dream always were a way of me to say “f*ck you” to their faces and get the appreciation and approval I wanted. This has become very unhealthy for me over the years. Like I said I’ve been feeling very miserable:( I still don’t know exactly what to do. I’ve considered a “normal life” a failure since those people won’t be impressed by me. I know subconsciously that fame and power isn’t gonna make me feel any better in the long run. Ive even imagine getting all that and the just live a peaceful life and “learn my lesson” or whatever. I think if I’m gonna continue to do music it won’t be all for the shallow success. It has stripped me of all my creativity and happiness. I just made an album and yes, there were times where I had fun making the music and stuff, BUT the fear of making bad music controlled the entire project and I therefore always feared rapping bad to the point where I didn’t even wanna rap, since I was afraid of it turning out bad. The conflict in my head says something like: “Do what makes you happy and only do music whenever you feel like it” “but at the same time I know that success won’t come without a fair bit of grinding, and grinding isn’t always fun. I’ve been very unsure if I want to pursue this music career or not, since it has brought me all that misery. But at the same time the thought of making it feels like heaven and my revenge. What to do…
I had a phase where i was only driven by revenge success and on the outside it was highly effective, until i walked home from a night clubbing and i felt this mixture of guilt, melanchony and nostalgia. I had become an arrogant hustling person full of vanity. That was the last night i had a drink, deleted my ig and stopped grinding 24/7. Now i am much more balanced. However this is not just a good thing. I now associate success with arrogance and started idealising mediocrity as i dont want to be this unlikeable dude i used to be. Needing success is bad but avoiding it is not much better.
Damn dude, you hit points in more ways than I could when arguing with my parents about the emerging toxicity of highly-competitive environments I was thrust into and had no choice but to adapt. In a way, my lingering hatred for the situations I was forced to be in and endure fed into my fear of success, that the people I should have support from would suddenly put more unrealistic expectations upon me and that I'd lose my sense of self and drive the more I see achieving something "as a means to an end" rather than something I would unabashedly "live the moment" (basically, the whole being vs living dichotomy). Innumerable thanks, friend, for bringing this out.
you addressed a life long trauma i was suffering from my whole life that i had experienced affecting almost every friendship relationship i ever had. i am really grateful for this
I have a fear of shallow success 'Corrupting' me. I also used to turn my nose up at people with money, but I've learned that theres nothing wrong with having stability and influence.
Other than the fact that my parents were already divorced when it happened and I only lived with my mom, I went through the exact same story that you shared in this video! Mom's company went bankrupt from stupid decisions, and she got laid off and we ended up losing our house. The idea of fearing success because the more you have, the more you have to lose, really is eye-opening. You can't know the devastation of losing your home if you never try to obtain one in the first place.
Dear TH-cam, Please allow people to use a heart, not just a like - success or not, struthy needs loving. A TH-cam energy that's not annoying, no claxons, no wobbly shots... just wholesome goodness.
The one about buying equipment and stuff is actually so helpful to me. It removes my excuses and then I can't blame anything but myself for not doing something.
Some of the most accurate but simple advice I heard about success the other day was this, "Honestly, the secret to success in anything is doing it consistently for 10 years"
A few thoughts: 1) I am lazy and unmotivated. However, I have realised that it is also part of my identity, I have always had an aversion to people perceiving that I am actively trying. At anything. I either want to be seen as doing it without effort, or I don't want to be seen doing it at all. 2) In relation to 'not that good' and comparison. When I think of an idea I like, and I see a similar idea on a popular show, I get disheartened, as I assume my idea will be seen as a unoriginal, a rip-off, plagiarism. 3) I too do not work without a deadline, and I still don't work if the deadline only affects me. If the deadline affects others, I do it. I still leave it to the very last minute, but I do it. Perhaps combining this with doing it for someone else's sake may be the key. I might even do the journal thing. Thanks.
I felt it when you said that “it protects your identity” I’m in therapy and my therapist is helping unpack this so deeply that I’m glad I decided to get help. Your videos are always a delight. Thanks for sharing!
This is a great video! People with autism and PTSD like me tend to think poorly of themselves, one problem I've always had is thinking "I do not deserve happiness". Because I had a rough childhood. Because I was always sacrificing what I wanted in life for my family whenever there wasn't enough for us all to get what we wanted. I'd rather see my mother or younger siblings happy than get what I want. Now I'm in my early 30s and I'm just sick of taking care of everyone else and never asking about when it's my turn? When do I get to like... want stuff? For myself? I have to basically train myself to think it's OK to go after stuff I want. Being socialized as a girl is also a factor. If you know, you know.
“Post crash growth”. Love that phrase. I am so glad I stumbled across you while looking for drawing help. Your honesty is refreshing and inspiring. Thank you!!!
Oh man, relaxed energy versus desperate energy...that seriously resonated with me. This entire video was fantastic. Seriously, thank you. Many hugs for the rut you fell into. I'm glad to see you back.
Im glad that you call it a Dip and not a Backslide. Ive only ever heard it as Backslides, and that just sounds so harsh and creates this mental image of retrograde, instead of a forward journey even THROUGH the dips.
This is definitely a 'watch again' video. So much to unpack here. As Always, Thank You for thought provoking content. Also, you do you, sir. I'm not here to judge - only to learn and grow. Indubitably making a boat load of mistakes along the way. Even at age 67. I wish you a smooth journey. We will still watch, we will still read your book, and we will still feel the compassion of your soul reaching out to us through our devices. Whenever you are able to show up - so will we.
Thought I’d share with you my little success: I haven’t started drawing yet but I’ve been working on shading/coloring and following your advice of drawing the same thing every day … the last two months, I’ve been shading sugar skulls and I last night I started my 15th sugar skull and I finally noticed that I might have done something that stylistically might be original to me. I feel so blessed that I found your channel cos I had been praying for a “creative partner/mentor/etc. Thank you. You’re a powerful influencer. I appreciate you! ✌🏼
Recovered People-pleaser here! What a waste of my years to try and do what others EXPECT me to do. Have a corporate job and climb the ladder to then realize I AM ON THE WRONG LADDER I hated working for a boss, who was I kidding??? Myself. All I wanted was others to be happy for me and I was burning out! Fast-forward my life series, I am now traveling the world, living the laptop lifestyle, feeling HAPPY and FREE. We all have a choice in life and we are responsible for that choice. Do you choose to live with REGRET or do you choose to live the life YOU WANT? choice is yours.....
Another word for relaxed energy for me would be “contentment”. When you are content, you won’t strive to prove yourself, and no one can pressure you because you’re completely happy and fine where you are. Real insightful Campbell
You have a real talent for taking complex psychology concepts and reducing down to terms that people can clearly understand. And no pharmaceutical medication required!
I can't help but think that all of your videos are therapy sessions, for real. Each video is a different therapy session, and IT WORKS. Much better than 90% of the therapists in my country, trust me when I say this
"if i have too much love i'll lose it". I had to pause and just process that for a moment. That is definately a fear that's been lurking in my subconcious. Damn Campbell, you're just dropping insight like that like it's nothing! Congrats on the book. The vunerability in your videos is fucking admirable.
Why? 1. Shallow Success vs. Deep success @1:35 2. More to gain means more to lose @2:21 3. You're worried people won't have sympathy for you @3:41 4. It doesn't make sense culturally @4:05 5. It increases your likelihood of getting hated @4:26 6. You're scared you just might not be that good @4:54 Strategies: 1. Label stuff @5:50 2. Articulate the timeline @6:04 3. Push through for someone else's sake @6:19 4. Reconnect with what got you excited in the first place @6:53 5. Remove the need to be successful (relaxed energy vs. desperate energy) @7:08 Unhealthy strategies: 1. Remove the choice to be successful @9:23 2. Get revenge success @9:56 Journaling exercises on the Fear of Success: 1. What do I define as shallow success? 2. What do I define as Deep success? 3. Why do I want Shallow Success? 4. What would Shallow Success mean for my life? 5. What are the negative repercussions of Shallow Success? 6. Why am I scared of them? 7. What would happen if they came true? 8. What do I fear most about success? 9. How does this relate to my relationship to Deep Success? 10. How can I heal?
I just had to write this in the middle of the video. Paused it actually, to write this. Hearing about the possible reasons for my irrational fear of success (and probably my lack of self love/confidence) made me involuntarily tap my forehead with my knuckles like crazy. Then I knew. I finally knew what I was running away from. So thank you. Will watch the latter part for way to face these fears, but in the meantime, I just had to write this down on the comments. The urge to express my feelings in words took me over absolutely. Thank you.
I pre-ordered your book and now have my grubby little mitts on it - it's feckin FANTASTIC! Thanks for writing it and doing these videos too. For most of this video I was nodding my head going 'holeee shit'. I've been sober for 9 years now and your insights really help keep me on track - and that is deep success for me.
Cam, I just finished reading your book and I cried reading the end. I love you and your work so much, you are an incredible human being doing important and beautiful things and I am really really thankful for you. Thank you for existing, you are truly amazing and an inspiration. Love you!!! ❤️
I love your videos first off. I'm in an existential personal crisis and grasping at straws and thought I'd reach out. Maybe you'll see this Cam or maybe one of your viewers will. Ok, raw and vulnerable: I clawed my way to one of my dreams by becoming an art teacher. I'm a bit older than you so really cringe 44, mom, wife all the things. I've been in education for over 20 years. I taught through Covid. An unforeseen emergency medical situation hit me in October that ultimately led to surgery and long recovery. I returned to school in late April, pushed through pain and relished in being back with my students and ended the year strong. Then I was notified that I was being pushed into a forced resignation situation and I have to do it before July 10. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm unsure of my security and how I'll maintain security for my family. Things I know: This has shaken me as I didn't see it coming after this health hellscape. I have one great kid and I do love the idea of not having to miss her special school days/events due to my loyalty to my employer. I was raised to work hard, I have worked hard before, I can do it again. I love working with students of all ages. I'm sensitive and I connect. I suck at: math, most technology, early mornings (just being honest), Sitting in one place/repetitive work, the first push starting a project, completing projects when I've dived into five at once (I don't know why I do this), remembering to make art for myself anymore. Essentially, I'm pretty good at knowing what I'm bad at and terribly scared about somehow 'recreating' myself all over again. My research is suggesting things like teaching online and curriculum writing which of course are possible options but I don't know that they would actually mesh well with where I am in life. Could this be my moment to find the deep joy and finally that evasive 'work-life balance' is all I keep thinking? Do you have any possible tips? PS, please don't shit on me too terribly dearest internet. That is also something I do well enough all on my own. Got self-doubt, guilt and shame on lock. I'll probably have to go along with the resignation against my heart as they have plans to make life hell in my classrooms if I sign the new paperwork and then can and would likely terminate me anytime next year if I breathe wrong. Also, my husband took over covering the family health insurance I used to have for us a few months ago. I'll supplement my life(?) with savings that I'd earmarked for our first home/the unexpected. Thanks for any advice. Current headspace: not great. I'm very tempted to just build a shed in the back and make dip candles forever and bliss out. But I do truly love my work in the service of others, public teaching had been what I thought I'd do for a very long time to come.
omg.... every single one of these resonates with me, especially the one that says - it increases the likelihood of getting hate. As a fellow Australian, I really agree when you said people just don't celebrate success here. In Australia, if you're happy that you've made progress and you tell certain people, even in a humble way, they think you're bragging.... (or I could be just hanging with the wrong crowd). I really struggle with not caring what people think, while trying not to become someone who becomes disassociated with emotion...
i’ve been exercising and seeing the results almost immediately. eating better and staying hydrated. my body wanted to exercise. my brain wanted me to exercise. but i couldn’t get my body to do it and had chocolate cake for breakfast and dessert even though i didn’t really want it either time that much… also barely had water. a tiktok called me out on it as a challenge for november and i took it as a sign! i refuse to give in to not caring for myself for no apparent reason the rest of the month. unless i absolutely (don’t) want to, i will.
Not liking people who have success is part of the basics for being French. It's a part of me that I don't like, but I can't help it - especially since when I was in college, I built my social identity around failing (at the very least, not doing my best) in order to hang with the cool guys.
I saw this video once before, but there was something in me that didn't want to admit I had some of these fears. I tried to make something happen for me, but backed out and self sabotaged a few times before it clicked. I needed to come back to this video and do the exercises. I feel freer and I'm going to try again. Thank you yellow hat guy!
started watching this in the middle of procrastinating on a Saturday, then paused it and decided to listen to it while washing dishes. then decided to use headphones cause water noise, then realized my phone needed charging, so brought my laptop in the kitchen, set it up on a low chair next to the sink, then thought i wouldn't be able to play something else afterwards because water fingers so i paused this video and went back 4 videos in your playlist, then almost spilled a potfull of dirty water on my laptop, then right when i reached the point i paused in this video, i finished the dishes. DEEP SUCCESS.
I was so wrong, thought this vid was gonna be another person saying "work harder just keep going do more work" (basically the same reaction as 7:53 ) but that was not it at alllll. Super impactful and genuine advice. Loving this channel✌
I used strategy 2 in a loop when I was deep in postnatal depression: I did things to look after my daughter's mother, i.e. me, but I couldn't see the point in doing things for myself. It tricked my brain and got me doing stuff again.
Always need videos like this from you! I am a singer songwriting trying to produce my own music- but I’ve got ADHD that is yet to be diagnosed (we love a two year waiting list). You help inspire me to change my way of thinking and you always make me feel heard. Been following you online for years but I subscribed on TH-cam for this sort of stuff. Purchased your book for both my sister and I. You’ve got a great head on your shoulders and you’ve helped me make some good changes in my life. I know you enjoy reading good comments so I thought I’d share my appreciation instead of just watching it this time. Canada has yet to release your book, can’t wait to get it :)
I have always been scared of success and money because I was raised with a script that you can't have it all. If you have success and money, you're bound to be doomed else where. Today, I suffer from imposter syndrome and resistance and every step towards my progress has been a battle. I watch videos like yours to recalibrate myself! Thank you! Yeah I think knowing what i am going to become of it rather than attaching myself to the goal/ money will set me free from guilt and resistance ( an insight from #atomic habits)
eversince i was younger I've had the dream of being in a certain major and chased it with my flesh and tears. Now that I'm in my dream major i dont feel the need to study anymore; never knew why (as this was my dream as a young child) your video helped me realise that i was never desperate if things didnt workout and always had a second chance in any major i chose. However, now that im in my favourite major i feel stuck and i actually fear success as your grades determine everything. i fear my best is not good enough. when i work its just all this desperate energy and not the enthusiasm and love towards my subjects (it became a chore to study that i absolutely hate) glad to know that im not alone and im not broken thank you
FINALLY, someone talks about the fear of success! THANK YOU! 🤗 Thank you so much for this! The whole internet goes on and on about the fear or failure and how to overcome it. F*** that! Man, you got me with reason number 2 the most. That one hurt, so I know it hit the right spot. I'm not afraid of failure... I see myself as a failure, as an outcast and whenever I start something, as soon as I see progress, as soon as I see I'm good at it, I will self-sabotage even if I don't want to... somehow I still do. And it kills me... But it also gives the "devil on my shoulder" a chance to say: "You see? You can't do/have/be that thing. That's not who you are." And then I look around, see what I've done and... all I can say in return is: "...yeah, I guess you're right. What was I thinking?..........."
i feel so blessed every time you post a video. i quit my office job in September and have been thinking of doing art for a living but the fear that people won't like it is crippling. and here your are with this video! really like the plan b strategy. I've been most relaxed when i thought hey, i can always go back to my old job if it doesn't work out, i live my colleagues and the job was fine. but i tried to scare off these thoughts cause it felt like I was giving up before even starting?
How do you always know EXACTLY the upload I need at any given moment? LOL... I ended up sharing this with a few people, in no small part because the unhealthy coping mechanisms (especially the first one) are basically the things we're already doing, and we KNOW it's not sustainable, but most of us have ADHD and it's the only thing that's worked so far. This video ended up being MASSIVELY helpful as far as how to think of shallow vs deep success & conquering that fear of people hating us if we're too successful. Definitely some food for thought to bring to my next therapy session. :D Thank you for your uploads, and congrats on the book!
I recently changed my approach to becomming successful as a writer, reevaluated what I always loved about writing and sharing my writing and on this basis started something that I am not sure if it will ever be as successful as the things I had in mind before. But what I do now already feels more fullfilling because it compliments my personal needs a whole lot better. It can still be stressfull and it might take some time before I can pay my bills without a second job but to me it is not important anymore if this project will ever be successful in a monetary way because I am really into that shit and if there are people who will pay me to continue: So be it! Going into that relaxed mindset took so much preasure away and made me feel so much more comfortable with doing my stuff. I love the current status of my life. I would also love to be financially successful with my project so I am still working on improving but it is not a requirement anymore (still a goal though) and that is one hell of a relief. If it doesn't happen to be a financial success I still did what I wanted to do and by that made me happier and my life more complete. Btw I would say that here in Germany the cultural view on success is very different. It is more driven by envy I guess. Being financially successful is a thing and very much attached to social status. Talking about people who belong to your social bubble success is definitely appreciated. But, as I said, it is therefore connected to envy, too. Which probably makes the "There are people who gonna hate my stuff." worse because it adds "There are people who gonna hate me as a person." (arguably at a similar level, so definitely not all people and mostly people who don't even know you but as you said: brain gymnastics are weird).
I started a TH-cam channel thinking nobody would care about it and now I am at 993 subscribers that I have no idea how I got them so quickly and I am completely frozen. I haven't posted a video in 3 weeks. Why am I like this.
Each time you put out a video, it feels like "hey, this is a video about my life" and then you put out another video, and I feel the same way about that one. Having my art out there is terrifying, either I succeed and feel the need to keep succeeding, or I don't succeed and I don't know which one is more terrifying. So far I'm in the middle, where I haven't found success and I can't tell if I'm failing or on track for success, and I think that limbo of not knowing if I'm not good enough or if it's just me feeling like an impostor is the hardest thing.
Lovely. I fear success because I'm afraid I might not be able to match or top again something I create, or be articulate enough in expression and use of the medium, or not match up to my influences if people associate them to me. Afraid to seem like I'm copying them, or just repeating what's already been done. Then also, not being unique enough. I'm also afraid of others claiming my work, which has actually happened to me more than once already! These factors really make me reluctant to share. That concept of relaxed energy has worked for me before. Just focusing on how I can be better than I was yesterday, without thinking about the imperfections or doubts. Might not be healthy though. I still really struggle with delusional doubts and fears while objectively, being capable.
I have been grappling with this exact thing for so long. My ideas live in my head because the success I dream about is much easier to attain there than if I take a chance in reality. It’s so frustrating and exhausting. After watching this I think I can try and take that leap off the edge and take the first step that I’ve been putting off for years. Thank you for this PSA that I really needed to hear ❤️
Yo man.. I'm an aspiring movie director.. Stuff like that is golden. I hope you truly understand that you put out good quality and thoughtful videos, you bring the tools for us, now we have to use them. Plz also remember that, energy flows so easily.. Get stressed or put too much hype for a vid and it'll transmit to the camera. You're basically an actor for us in those vids.. So just clear your mind and make sure you love and believe what you say, and you'll make the most loveable vids.. You truly have the insight necessary, the appeal and the will for making those vids. You don't really have that much experience yet but it's okay cuz its just a time related question and it'll only get better.. One thing about experience is that as long as you keep going no matter how hard you fucked up, you'll still learn :) Anyway, thanks for fresh human "insight", hope you have a nice one pal :)
My notifications popped up your video as a recommendation. Thank you for this. I am a licensed mental health therapist and I hope you don't mind; I would love to use this video with some of my clients. I remember a client once told me many years ago how he didn't want me to acknowledge his progress out of fear of going backwards. I didn't understand it at the time; however, developed some techniques over the years that has helped. I find that your video is a wonderful breakdown and explains fear of success in a manner I think many can understand and relate to. Thank you for what you are doing.
Just bought your book man, really love your content as I seem to struggle in a similar fashion to you with being an artist while working and trying to be productive and learn all the skills I need. It seems like no one wants to talk about all the work it takes, physical, intellectual, and emotional, but you dive deep into it. Thanks so much!
What helps me a TON is to imagine my future self as a separate person. Like, yes, I could binge a whole season of an anime show now instead of doing whatever needs to be done by the end of the week and push everything on tomorrow me. But damn, that's be so shitty of me! Then she has to do all the work of today as well. And she'll be really disappointed in me. Instead, I'll just do some of the work now and watch a few episodes later and she will be super proud of me. As you said, sometimes it's easier to do stuff for someone else. My partner, my family, friends, people who depend on me professionally. And seeing tomorrow me as "someone else" helps immensely to bring stuff into perspective.
I tried to start a business for a year now and gave up just yesterday. I hardly managed to do anything in it and didn't get very far. I started off on fire, then had so many setbacks, sickness, deaths in the family, terrible personal problems, that I just lost the spark. I wrote goals and deadlines, but hardly ever kept them, and got sick of writing the same goals over and over. Each time I wrote the same goal or deadline over and over, I would feel even more dejected about my abilities. I placed everything as of greater importance then my business. My step-father told me I would never have a business or earn a decent income (with a sneer) and he died this year. Some things you said resonated with me (underdog and fear that my best isn't good enough), but I still don't understand why I feel I can't succeed. Perhaps it was my step-father's words? Perhaps once someone says something I believe it and make it come true? Perhaps I associate striving to start a business with every awful thing that has happened this year? I don't know and I don't know how to overcome it, but I will try your tips.
The video went from a 10/10 to a 15/10 just by your doggo being there 💜 Also, it's kinda creppy how you always upload a video when I'm about to crash and help me stand up again. Thank you so much 💜💜💜
These kinda videos are slowly creeping into my subconscious in a good way, and I love it. This is realistic and thought-provokingly sobering. Thanks Dude! Really related to this in a major way.
Hi Campbell. This is one of the most concise and well-made vids on the topic. Too many of us are stuck and have no idea why. Now we know what's going on and how to deal with it. Keep being awesome!
Every video I watch of yours Feels like you are talking specifically to me😳 You totally get it & I think your openness about your own experiences helps people. THANK YOU
omg struthless this is exactly what is on my mind right now thanks the universe and thank you !! you are the most charming and relatable youtuber and i'm inspired by you a lot! love from china ❤️
Dude, i mean... your vid vs every other "fear of success" vid is like going all in on the deep end vs dipping the toe in shallow waters... keep 'em coming Cam, i need regular doses of struthless in my life :)
People will hate you if you become better. But that's just life showing you who was actually your friend or had love for you. I don't have many friends now as I've learned to let the dead leaves drop. There's not the confusing, intangible feeling of disgust and unhealthy competition towards me present in my life now. Learning not to shrink my light for big egos has been my healing journey.
Your videos are gold! your entire channel is the best thing that has happened to my brain lately. I’m suffering from a burnout and I just can’t get out of it but your videos helped me so much. Thank you for your content!
I didn't quite realize that this was one of my big problems- plus I find it interesting how I found this the day you posted it which also happens to be my birthday, so thanks for the gift! Also looking forward to reading your book soon. I really appreciate all the work you put into what you do, it's all really interesting and deserves all the success it gets.
Wow, it's been almost exactly 2 years since I first came across this and Struth's other stuff, and it's really wild how much it's impacted my own journey. I did the 'get more overhead' thing and I am now figuring it out. It's definitely a motivator! And yet I'm back here, learning from this video again, and there's always more to learn. Cheers from NYC and thanks for doing your thing!
Every time I see the title of one of your videos, I'm like, "oh man this sounds so corporate I don't wanna watch that" and then I remember how all your videos about personal growth have something in them that really resonates with me. I guess that terms like "successful" and "time management" are usually associated with shallow success advice (often around money), but there's no reason they have to be. Thank you for another awesome video!
You'll watch an entire Netflix show even when the first episodes are slow and boring just because someone told you "it gets better." *But what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead???*
The good point
🤯
Because it's way easier to watch a show than to do things in life, this comparison ain't it.
I wanna watch Netflix now instead of self work videos
Great point. Even if financially it doesn't get insanely better, creatively I've pushed myself and grown so much, the aspect of money has been less worrying. There are always jobs to be taken. But there's not always inspiration so I'm learning to really take advantage of it when inspiration does strike.
Me: I have no fears about being successful
Struth: The more successful you are, the more people hate you
Me: I have one fear about being successful
😂😂😂
😂😂😂
People will always hate you. Untalented, people make fun of you, too talented no one likes you. Dumb, people hate you, too intelligent people hate. Ugly, get teased, too good looking people get jealous. Bottom line is fk people, they are average, 90 iq masses of hateful people. Do you.
😭🤣🤣I relate
When i was younger, i was in what i thought was a pretty serious relationship.
I was in college, burned out, broke, and taking a semester off. in reality, i was probably on my way to permanently dropping out of school.
During this time, I found out that my partner was cheating on me with one of my other close friends, and we broke up once this came to light.
I asked the usual questions of "Why do you want someone else" and the answer i got was a shallow... basically "i think the other guy is going to be more successful than you"
That fucking devastated me... because that's not how i saw myself at all. I felt like i was just collecting myself to try again, or try something different.. and then i got hyper-motivated in the worst way.
I basically went into "i'll show her what she's missing out on" mode... and finished college. Twice. With honors...
I'm finally doing the work that i think is important, im finally realizing goals i've had for a long time.
I even did it with only a tiny amount of debt that i paid off in the first year out of school.
I rode that Revenge Success train to the bank until the thought of revenge "winning" just wore off and became meaningless... and i began realizing that i could have done the same thing thinking about my own interests, rather than some other person's opinion, and i could have done it with much less anger and spite.
I'm where i am today because of years of unhealthy motivation... but it also gave me the resources and space i needed to work on the healthier me now.
I don't recommend it... but "Fuck you" can be one powerful motivator.
you dodged a bullet dude, the trash took itself out
this reminds me of adults trying to spite their childhood bullies, at some point you need to give yourself permission to let go and set your own standards, letting go isn't letting them off the hook, it's letting yourself off the hook for feeling guilty about what they did to you
Did she ever try to get you back?
@@sarah3602 Not surprisingly, she went through a very dark period in her life. When you associate with people that hold that kind of view, that's kind of to be expected. What is surprising though is that we actually are on good terms again. We re-connected recently, both very different people, and have become the closest of friends. She called me one night out of the blue about 5 years ago needing someone (really anyone...) to talk to. I really didn't care, but i knew if she didn't leave there she'd probably be dead in a month.
I ended up driving across the country, picked her up with a single suitcase, and dropped her off back in her hometown at her mom's to start over. Over 2 days of driving we let it all out. Just straight venting about all the pain we each carried. With each other, with anything, just uncorked the bottle of emotions and poured it out, past and present.
We talk almost every day now, and are both becoming the people we wanted to be. Once the gloves came off while we shouted and cried on the drive to her mom's place, and we hashed out our beef along the way... the raw unfiltered honesty stayed with our new friendship, and is why we're close once again. It took almost 10 years to get here, and im glad with how things ended up. Nobody understands why I'd ever talk to her again, but that's OK. They have no idea how either of us have changed or how great it is to have someone that knows all your dirty laundry... and i don't really need them to understand either.
So in the end it's a melancholicly happy story, but it took a lot to get there. :)
Anger is useful. It is energy. It creates change. Sorrow just buries us, turns us to sludge. It's not good to live in anger, but if the anger is there and you can harness it like a bucking horse to ride to a destination - any destination better than where you're trapped - do it.
I think if we surveyed people on their true motivations behind everything they do, seldom would you find a person with pure intentions.
I've watched a number of "fear of success" videos because I know that fear is why I procrastinate, but this one hits different. I relate so much to a couple of your points. You have identified exactly where my particular flavour of fear is originating. Now that I know where the problems lay I can address them. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us, struthless. You're definitely helping people.
O
Yes, for real...Such a young man to be so insightful ~!
the same here!
It came from your heart. Kudos! Also, you are to enjoy the power of "Now"; before you do more self critique. Every day is a new day and it is certainly different. Therefore, get back to the people who "You" matter to. Be it one person, get in touch and you'd find more success due to the resonating energies. This is called constructive interference. Thanks.
Dr. K (Healty Gamer GG) often asks people, who he interviewes if there was a time when they didn't yet have the problem they're struggling with. And very often when they remember that, they are able to identify key happenings in their life's that caused them to have a specific mindset. I found this profoundly helpful for my own wellbeing, because it helps so well to separate adult me from helpless-child or helpless-young-person me.
When youre so fearful of success you don't even finish the video just in case it works
I’m about to graduate after a long battle of financial and mental crisis, the fact I’m about graduate is considered a success and an image that I am not familiar with myself, I always thought I won’t make it till the end. Seeing this video is such a good timing, especially facing my final exams :) Always loved your videos, always reminding me to take it one step at a time and look at things differently. Thanks, Campbell!
EDIT: I finished my studies and I’m all set for my graduation! Even decided to opt for the ceremony as a testament and celebration that I pulled through. 😭 this was something I initially thought I didn’t deserve to go for.
Congrats!! You got this!!
Congratulations! You got this!
@@louhortonsculpture thank you so much!
@@bridgetteswenson52 thank you so much!
Good luck with your finals!
Every time your dog puts his head on the arm of that couch my heart melts a little. 😍
are u guys serious??? why isnt anybody here talking about his cutie doggo sleeping beside hiiiimmmm !!!!!
Wtf, how, I only now see the doggo * . * ❤️
Exactlyyyy 😍 so adorbs!!!
Exactly! Cam we want to meet your dog!
Haha, I was like 'awwwwww' 😍and had to rewind as I missed what he said haha. My book arrived in London and am loving it btw!!
i'm here for talking about the doggo
Great video as usual. However, in my case my fear of success is more of a "Can I actually handle it?" when it happens and can I keep up with the expectations of the people who actually made me be in that place - fans, clients, viewers. With that stress and when you add a sprinkle of imposter syndrome the cocktail that is created doesn't taste nice and subconsciously I self sabotage myself.
Same here. I hope you can find your way through.
Yesss! I feel the same way! What I've realized, though is that humans can easily adapt to things, because I've been able to do things in the past that didn't seem possible for me to handle, but I was able to pull through anyway! We are probably much stronger and more capable than we think! So I'm starting not to worry too much about the future, because, who knows, I might have gathered enough experience and expertise to successfully handle anything that I may face at that point in the future! I wish you the best!
From México, i'm SO thankful for your videos. I usually Enter to TH-cam when i'm on a crisis and don't know what to do. Sometimes i don't Even know how to look for what i need to hear and then booooom the answer. Thanks, you are amazing 🦀
You had me at "I'll move to Guatemala, start a permaculture farm, just live off the land, and chill." Relatable.
When you spoke about how as soon as you kill the desire to desperately have something, that is when you can actually have that thing, it reminds me of the NZ men's rowing team who recently won gold at the Olympics, they cited pretty much the same thing as one of the major reasons they were able to win the gold medal.
You have any articles about the I looked them up didn’t find anything
8:10 As a perfectionist, I really agree with this, as long as you focus on just trying to convey what you mean, it really works wonders, correcting yourself for every minute mistake you make is just gonna leave you stressed and not have the motivation to make the video anymore.
Look at that dog in the background. He doesn’t give a f about success. He seems wise.
I love this. I was way too attached to my dream of becoming a fitness youtuber and it caused me immense stress so I quit. I pursued something completely different where I wasn’t too bothered about success and achieved that goal in way less time. Love this message - don’t care about the results, focus on the journey (cliche but it’s sooo true)
Very good point! And what is the different thing that you chose?
@@ryazanovaSasha Design :)
Subscribed
That inspires me to actually pursue what I love for the sake of what I truly love. Thank you!
Do you still want to be a fitness youtuber/Are you still working towards becoming a fitness influencer?
I freaking love you
Thank you my man!
Just went through the biggest crisis in my life, and I’m totally restarting everything lost my family my friends my fiancé my god and just everything hit the freaking fan and I can’t express how much I needed this all ur other videos
Thank you so so much, I can’t express to You how much even ur style of “chill your Jets dude life is good if You let it”
Just thank you man from the bottom of my heart ❤️❤️❤️
*5 things to quit right now:*
*1. Overthinking*
*2. Trying to make everyone happy*
*3. Living in the past*
*4. Worrying*
*5. Doubting yourself*
I REALLY resonate with the "Remove the need to be successful".
For example, with my TH-cam channel I first made videos and I always thought it had to be perfect for all the wrong reasons (i.e. Success).
Which stressed me out so much... But now I make videos that make me proud (and nothing else) and I enjoy it so much more, get more done, and I feel more fulfilled.
Ofc they are not super successful, but at least I made a video I can say I am proud of and nobody can take that away from me.
I always suspected I have a “fear of success” but was never sure…and then you just called me out one point after another 😂 thank you
I feel called out too hahaha so spot on
I tried explaining my “fear of success” to my therapist and she was so confused.
“Don’t you mean fear of failure?” She asked. And I just couldn’t provide a reason that made sense to her. You have eloquently articulated what has been rustling around in my brain for years. Thank you 🥰
Hey, I am not sure if you will see this but I've been watching your videos for a few months. I was in huge denial about how depressed and anxious I really was. Your videos, what you're about etc encouraged me to seek professional help for my mental health. I started antidepressants today so I'm excited for this journey. Your tips did help me gain some control of my life back but I definitely need the extra support of professionals. Thanks so much
Follow therapists on ig, and watch more vids like that on yt, and certainly read more books about healing
Best of luck to you.
We love to see it
@@user-rx7lc1od7w I don't have ig anymore. I just couldn't handle being on that app with poor mental health. I picked up 12 rules for life and I am restarting therapy. Hopefully it goes well
@@josequins9099 thank you, I appreciate it
1:35 in and already, this video was a breath of fresh air. your ability to casually and candidly acknowledge your "success crash" whilst reminding us of the "post dip growth" made me breathe a sigh of relief. thank you for reminding me I'm human, these are human feelings and Im no less human (or successful) for experiencing these things too.
congrats on the recent successes and thanks for always keeping it real 🤙
The journalling exercise at the end:
1. What do I define as Shallow Success?
2. What do I define as Deep Success?
3. Why do I want Shallow Success?
4. What would Shallow Success mean for my life?
5. What are the negative repercussions of Shallow Success?
6. Why am I scared of them?
7. What would happen if they came true?
8. What do I fear most about Success?
9. How does this relate to my relationship to Deep Success?
10. How Can I heal?
I go through waves of this… I realized it’s a lot of my own definitions of success that define my happiness. Sometimes overlooking small success keeps from reaching big success later. I also have been always told people learn a lot more from failing than from success. Accepting failure is not easy but needed for success
I’ve had a dream to become a famous rapper/musician since something like 5 years back. I always thought it was my destiny. Sadly this dream has brought me a ton of pain and misery. I had a passion and was definitely interested in rap music which is here I started. But over the years I got more and more hungry for that “shallow success” (fame, power, money) and I thereby lost my original interest.
I have thereby felt very miserable whenever I do bad music or no music at all. I’ve been treated badly by some people and my dream always were a way of me to say “f*ck you” to their faces and get the appreciation and approval I wanted. This has become very unhealthy for me over the years. Like I said I’ve been feeling very miserable:(
I still don’t know exactly what to do. I’ve considered a “normal life” a failure since those people won’t be impressed by me.
I know subconsciously that fame and power isn’t gonna make me feel any better in the long run. Ive even imagine getting all that and the just live a peaceful life and “learn my lesson” or whatever. I think if I’m gonna continue to do music it won’t be all for the shallow success. It has stripped me of all my creativity and happiness. I just made an album and yes, there were times where I had fun making the music and stuff, BUT the fear of making bad music controlled the entire project and I therefore always feared rapping bad to the point where I didn’t even wanna rap, since I was afraid of it turning out bad.
The conflict in my head says something like: “Do what makes you happy and only do music whenever you feel like it” “but at the same time I know that success won’t come without a fair bit of grinding, and grinding isn’t always fun.
I’ve been very unsure if I want to pursue this music career or not, since it has brought me all that misery. But at the same time the thought of making it feels like heaven and my revenge.
What to do…
I had a phase where i was only driven by revenge success and on the outside it was highly effective, until i walked home from a night clubbing and i felt this mixture of guilt, melanchony and nostalgia. I had become an arrogant hustling person full of vanity. That was the last night i had a drink, deleted my ig and stopped grinding 24/7. Now i am much more balanced. However this is not just a good thing. I now associate success with arrogance and started idealising mediocrity as i dont want to be this unlikeable dude i used to be. Needing success is bad but avoiding it is not much better.
Damn dude, you hit points in more ways than I could when arguing with my parents about the emerging toxicity of highly-competitive environments I was thrust into and had no choice but to adapt. In a way, my lingering hatred for the situations I was forced to be in and endure fed into my fear of success, that the people I should have support from would suddenly put more unrealistic expectations upon me and that I'd lose my sense of self and drive the more I see achieving something "as a means to an end" rather than something I would unabashedly "live the moment" (basically, the whole being vs living dichotomy).
Innumerable thanks, friend, for bringing this out.
thank you! your videos have definitely been beyond helpful whenever I get stuck in my own head ^^;
Ayyyye, CypherDen! Fun to see you commenting, I love your drawing style! 😄 Keep up the great work!
you addressed a life long trauma i was suffering from my whole life that i had experienced affecting almost every friendship relationship i ever had. i am really grateful for this
I have a fear of shallow success 'Corrupting' me. I also used to turn my nose up at people with money, but I've learned that theres nothing wrong with having stability and influence.
Other than the fact that my parents were already divorced when it happened and I only lived with my mom, I went through the exact same story that you shared in this video! Mom's company went bankrupt from stupid decisions, and she got laid off and we ended up losing our house.
The idea of fearing success because the more you have, the more you have to lose, really is eye-opening. You can't know the devastation of losing your home if you never try to obtain one in the first place.
Dear TH-cam,
Please allow people to use a heart, not just a like - success or not, struthy needs loving. A TH-cam energy that's not annoying, no claxons, no wobbly shots... just wholesome goodness.
The one about buying equipment and stuff is actually so helpful to me. It removes my excuses and then I can't blame anything but myself for not doing something.
Some of the most accurate but simple advice I heard about success the other day was this, "Honestly, the secret to success in anything is doing it consistently for 10 years"
A few thoughts:
1) I am lazy and unmotivated. However, I have realised that it is also part of my identity, I have always had an aversion to people perceiving that I am actively trying. At anything. I either want to be seen as doing it without effort, or I don't want to be seen doing it at all.
2) In relation to 'not that good' and comparison. When I think of an idea I like, and I see a similar idea on a popular show, I get disheartened, as I assume my idea will be seen as a unoriginal, a rip-off, plagiarism.
3) I too do not work without a deadline, and I still don't work if the deadline only affects me. If the deadline affects others, I do it. I still leave it to the very last minute, but I do it. Perhaps combining this with doing it for someone else's sake may be the key.
I might even do the journal thing.
Thanks.
I felt it when you said that “it protects your identity”
I’m in therapy and my therapist is helping unpack this so deeply that I’m glad I decided to get help.
Your videos are always a delight. Thanks for sharing!
Relaxed energy is the doggo snoozing in the back- I’d like to borrow that energy
Love this. I’m a screenwriter, and I constantly battle the fear of success. I just didn’t have a label for it before :)
This is a great video! People with autism and PTSD like me tend to think poorly of themselves, one problem I've always had is thinking "I do not deserve happiness". Because I had a rough childhood. Because I was always sacrificing what I wanted in life for my family whenever there wasn't enough for us all to get what we wanted. I'd rather see my mother or younger siblings happy than get what I want. Now I'm in my early 30s and I'm just sick of taking care of everyone else and never asking about when it's my turn? When do I get to like... want stuff? For myself? I have to basically train myself to think it's OK to go after stuff I want. Being socialized as a girl is also a factor. If you know, you know.
Wow, ‘having money means you can lose money’ whacked me right in the heart.
I almost never comment on TH-cam videos but your advice is the only thing holding me together. everything you say is so helpful, thank you 🙏🏼
“Post crash growth”. Love that phrase. I am so glad I stumbled across you while looking for drawing help. Your honesty is refreshing and inspiring. Thank you!!!
Oh man, relaxed energy versus desperate energy...that seriously resonated with me. This entire video was fantastic. Seriously, thank you. Many hugs for the rut you fell into. I'm glad to see you back.
Im glad that you call it a Dip and not a Backslide.
Ive only ever heard it as Backslides, and that just sounds so harsh and creates this mental image of retrograde, instead of a forward journey even THROUGH the dips.
This is definitely a 'watch again' video. So much to unpack here. As Always, Thank You for thought provoking content.
Also, you do you, sir. I'm not here to judge - only to learn and grow. Indubitably making a boat load of mistakes along the way. Even at age 67.
I wish you a smooth journey. We will still watch, we will still read your book, and we will still feel the compassion of your soul reaching out to us through our devices.
Whenever you are able to show up - so will we.
“I’m meant to be sober.” That’s a beautiful way of putting it.
Thought I’d share with you my little success: I haven’t started drawing yet but I’ve been working on shading/coloring and following your advice of drawing the same thing every day … the last two months, I’ve been shading sugar skulls and I last night I started my 15th sugar skull and I finally noticed that I might have done something that stylistically might be original to me. I feel so blessed that I found your channel cos I had been praying for a “creative partner/mentor/etc. Thank you. You’re a powerful influencer. I appreciate you! ✌🏼
Recovered People-pleaser here! What a waste of my years to try and do what others EXPECT me to do.
Have a corporate job and climb the ladder to then realize I AM ON THE WRONG LADDER
I hated working for a boss, who was I kidding??? Myself.
All I wanted was others to be happy for me and I was burning out!
Fast-forward my life series, I am now traveling the world, living the laptop lifestyle, feeling HAPPY and FREE.
We all have a choice in life and we are responsible for that choice.
Do you choose to live with REGRET or do you choose to live the life YOU WANT?
choice is yours.....
Another word for relaxed energy for me would be “contentment”. When you are content, you won’t strive to prove yourself, and no one can pressure you because you’re completely happy and fine where you are. Real insightful Campbell
You have a real talent for taking complex psychology concepts and reducing down to terms that people can clearly understand. And no pharmaceutical medication required!
I can't help but think that all of your videos are therapy sessions, for real. Each video is a different therapy session, and IT WORKS. Much better than 90% of the therapists in my country, trust me when I say this
"if i have too much love i'll lose it". I had to pause and just process that for a moment. That is definately a fear that's been lurking in my subconcious. Damn Campbell, you're just dropping insight like that like it's nothing! Congrats on the book. The vunerability in your videos is fucking admirable.
Why?
1. Shallow Success vs. Deep success @1:35
2. More to gain means more to lose @2:21
3. You're worried people won't have sympathy for you @3:41
4. It doesn't make sense culturally @4:05
5. It increases your likelihood of getting hated @4:26
6. You're scared you just might not be that good @4:54
Strategies:
1. Label stuff @5:50
2. Articulate the timeline @6:04
3. Push through for someone else's sake @6:19
4. Reconnect with what got you excited in the first place @6:53
5. Remove the need to be successful (relaxed energy vs. desperate energy) @7:08
Unhealthy strategies:
1. Remove the choice to be successful @9:23
2. Get revenge success @9:56
Journaling exercises on the Fear of Success:
1. What do I define as shallow success?
2. What do I define as Deep success?
3. Why do I want Shallow Success?
4. What would Shallow Success mean for my life?
5. What are the negative repercussions of Shallow Success?
6. Why am I scared of them?
7. What would happen if they came true?
8. What do I fear most about success?
9. How does this relate to my relationship to Deep Success?
10. How can I heal?
I just had to write this in the middle of the video. Paused it actually, to write this. Hearing about the possible reasons for my irrational fear of success (and probably my lack of self love/confidence) made me involuntarily tap my forehead with my knuckles like crazy. Then I knew. I finally knew what I was running away from. So thank you. Will watch the latter part for way to face these fears, but in the meantime, I just had to write this down on the comments. The urge to express my feelings in words took me over absolutely. Thank you.
I pre-ordered your book and now have my grubby little mitts on it - it's feckin FANTASTIC! Thanks for writing it and doing these videos too. For most of this video I was nodding my head going 'holeee shit'. I've been sober for 9 years now and your insights really help keep me on track - and that is deep success for me.
Cam, I just finished reading your book and I cried reading the end. I love you and your work so much, you are an incredible human being doing important and beautiful things and I am really really thankful for you. Thank you for existing, you are truly amazing and an inspiration. Love you!!! ❤️
I love your videos first off. I'm in an existential personal crisis and grasping at straws and thought I'd reach out. Maybe you'll see this Cam or maybe one of your viewers will. Ok, raw and vulnerable:
I clawed my way to one of my dreams by becoming an art teacher. I'm a bit older than you so really cringe 44, mom, wife all the things.
I've been in education for over 20 years. I taught through Covid. An unforeseen emergency medical situation hit me in October that ultimately led to surgery and long recovery. I returned to school in late April, pushed through pain and relished in being back with my students and ended the year strong. Then I was notified that I was being pushed into a forced resignation situation and I have to do it before July 10.
I don't know what to do with myself. I'm unsure of my security and how I'll maintain security for my family.
Things I know: This has shaken me as I didn't see it coming after this health hellscape. I have one great kid and I do love the idea of not having to miss her special school days/events due to my loyalty to my employer. I was raised to work hard, I have worked hard before, I can do it again. I love working with students of all ages. I'm sensitive and I connect.
I suck at: math, most technology, early mornings (just being honest), Sitting in one place/repetitive work, the first push starting a project, completing projects when I've dived into five at once (I don't know why I do this), remembering to make art for myself anymore. Essentially, I'm pretty good at knowing what I'm bad at and terribly scared about somehow 'recreating' myself all over again. My research is suggesting things like teaching online and curriculum writing which of course are possible options but I don't know that they would actually mesh well with where I am in life. Could this be my moment to find the deep joy and finally that evasive 'work-life balance' is all I keep thinking?
Do you have any possible tips?
PS, please don't shit on me too terribly dearest internet. That is also something I do well enough all on my own. Got self-doubt, guilt and shame on lock.
I'll probably have to go along with the resignation against my heart as they have plans to make life hell in my classrooms if I sign the new paperwork and then can and would likely terminate me anytime next year if I breathe wrong. Also, my husband took over covering the family health insurance I used to have for us a few months ago. I'll supplement my life(?) with savings that I'd earmarked for our first home/the unexpected. Thanks for any advice. Current headspace: not great.
I'm very tempted to just build a shed in the back and make dip candles forever and bliss out. But I do truly love my work in the service of others, public teaching had been what I thought I'd do for a very long time to come.
omg.... every single one of these resonates with me, especially the one that says - it increases the likelihood of getting hate. As a fellow Australian, I really agree when you said people just don't celebrate success here. In Australia, if you're happy that you've made progress and you tell certain people, even in a humble way, they think you're bragging.... (or I could be just hanging with the wrong crowd). I really struggle with not caring what people think, while trying not to become someone who becomes disassociated with emotion...
i’ve been exercising and seeing the results almost immediately. eating better and staying hydrated. my body wanted to exercise. my brain wanted me to exercise. but i couldn’t get my body to do it and had chocolate cake for breakfast and dessert even though i didn’t really want it either time that much… also barely had water. a tiktok called me out on it as a challenge for november and i took it as a sign! i refuse to give in to not caring for myself for no apparent reason the rest of the month. unless i absolutely (don’t) want to, i will.
*”Success is based off of your willingness to work your butt off no matter what obstacles are in your way.”- David Goggins*
Not liking people who have success is part of the basics for being French. It's a part of me that I don't like, but I can't help it - especially since when I was in college, I built my social identity around failing (at the very least, not doing my best) in order to hang with the cool guys.
I saw this video once before, but there was something in me that didn't want to admit I had some of these fears. I tried to make something happen for me, but backed out and self sabotaged a few times before it clicked. I needed to come back to this video and do the exercises. I feel freer and I'm going to try again. Thank you yellow hat guy!
started watching this in the middle of procrastinating on a Saturday, then paused it and decided to listen to it while washing dishes. then decided to use headphones cause water noise, then realized my phone needed charging, so brought my laptop in the kitchen, set it up on a low chair next to the sink, then thought i wouldn't be able to play something else afterwards because water fingers so i paused this video and went back 4 videos in your playlist, then almost spilled a potfull of dirty water on my laptop, then right when i reached the point i paused in this video, i finished the dishes. DEEP SUCCESS.
I was so wrong, thought this vid was gonna be another person saying "work harder just keep going do more work" (basically the same reaction as 7:53 ) but that was not it at alllll.
Super impactful and genuine advice. Loving this channel✌
This is better than any therapy Ive ever been to, u just understand whats actually going on in so many of our heads. Thank you! 💪
I used strategy 2 in a loop when I was deep in postnatal depression: I did things to look after my daughter's mother, i.e. me, but I couldn't see the point in doing things for myself. It tricked my brain and got me doing stuff again.
Always need videos like this from you! I am a singer songwriting trying to produce my own music- but I’ve got ADHD that is yet to be diagnosed (we love a two year waiting list).
You help inspire me to change my way of thinking and you always make me feel heard. Been following you online for years but I subscribed on TH-cam for this sort of stuff. Purchased your book for both my sister and I. You’ve got a great head on your shoulders and you’ve helped me make some good changes in my life.
I know you enjoy reading good comments so I thought I’d share my appreciation instead of just watching it this time. Canada has yet to release your book, can’t wait to get it :)
I have always been scared of success and money because I was raised with a script that you can't have it all. If you have success and money, you're bound to be doomed else where.
Today, I suffer from imposter syndrome and resistance and every step towards my progress has been a battle. I watch videos like yours to recalibrate myself! Thank you!
Yeah I think knowing what i am going to become of it rather than attaching myself to the goal/ money will set me free from guilt and resistance ( an insight from #atomic habits)
eversince i was younger I've had the dream of being in a certain major and chased it with my flesh and tears. Now that I'm in my dream major i dont feel the need to study anymore; never knew why (as this was my dream as a young child)
your video helped me realise that i was never desperate if things didnt workout and always had a second chance in any major i chose. However, now that im in my favourite major i feel stuck and i actually fear success as your grades determine everything.
i fear my best is not good enough.
when i work its just all this desperate energy and not the enthusiasm and love towards my subjects (it became a chore to study that i absolutely hate)
glad to know that im not alone and im not broken
thank you
FINALLY, someone talks about the fear of success! THANK YOU! 🤗
Thank you so much for this! The whole internet goes on and on about the fear or failure and how to overcome it. F*** that!
Man, you got me with reason number 2 the most. That one hurt, so I know it hit the right spot.
I'm not afraid of failure... I see myself as a failure, as an outcast and whenever I start something, as soon as I see progress, as soon as I see I'm good at it, I will self-sabotage even if I don't want to... somehow I still do. And it kills me... But it also gives the "devil on my shoulder" a chance to say: "You see? You can't do/have/be that thing. That's not who you are." And then I look around, see what I've done and... all I can say in return is: "...yeah, I guess you're right. What was I thinking?..........."
i feel so blessed every time you post a video. i quit my office job in September and have been thinking of doing art for a living but the fear that people won't like it is crippling. and here your are with this video!
really like the plan b strategy. I've been most relaxed when i thought hey, i can always go back to my old job if it doesn't work out, i live my colleagues and the job was fine. but i tried to scare off these thoughts cause it felt like I was giving up before even starting?
How do you always know EXACTLY the upload I need at any given moment? LOL... I ended up sharing this with a few people, in no small part because the unhealthy coping mechanisms (especially the first one) are basically the things we're already doing, and we KNOW it's not sustainable, but most of us have ADHD and it's the only thing that's worked so far. This video ended up being MASSIVELY helpful as far as how to think of shallow vs deep success & conquering that fear of people hating us if we're too successful. Definitely some food for thought to bring to my next therapy session. :D Thank you for your uploads, and congrats on the book!
I recently changed my approach to becomming successful as a writer, reevaluated what I always loved about writing and sharing my writing and on this basis started something that I am not sure if it will ever be as successful as the things I had in mind before. But what I do now already feels more fullfilling because it compliments my personal needs a whole lot better. It can still be stressfull and it might take some time before I can pay my bills without a second job but to me it is not important anymore if this project will ever be successful in a monetary way because I am really into that shit and if there are people who will pay me to continue: So be it!
Going into that relaxed mindset took so much preasure away and made me feel so much more comfortable with doing my stuff. I love the current status of my life. I would also love to be financially successful with my project so I am still working on improving but it is not a requirement anymore (still a goal though) and that is one hell of a relief. If it doesn't happen to be a financial success I still did what I wanted to do and by that made me happier and my life more complete.
Btw I would say that here in Germany the cultural view on success is very different. It is more driven by envy I guess. Being financially successful is a thing and very much attached to social status. Talking about people who belong to your social bubble success is definitely appreciated. But, as I said, it is therefore connected to envy, too. Which probably makes the "There are people who gonna hate my stuff." worse because it adds "There are people who gonna hate me as a person." (arguably at a similar level, so definitely not all people and mostly people who don't even know you but as you said: brain gymnastics are weird).
I started a TH-cam channel thinking nobody would care about it and now I am at 993 subscribers that I have no idea how I got them so quickly and I am completely frozen. I haven't posted a video in 3 weeks. Why am I like this.
Dude, you're super cool. Your family and friends are really lucky to have you. Thanks for the great content 🙂
Each time you put out a video, it feels like "hey, this is a video about my life" and then you put out another video, and I feel the same way about that one. Having my art out there is terrifying, either I succeed and feel the need to keep succeeding, or I don't succeed and I don't know which one is more terrifying. So far I'm in the middle, where I haven't found success and I can't tell if I'm failing or on track for success, and I think that limbo of not knowing if I'm not good enough or if it's just me feeling like an impostor is the hardest thing.
I've been having a really hard time. This is seriously helpful stuff. I'm learning that consistency is more important than always being successful.
Man I feel everything you said in this video to the bones. Thank you for making it. I’m Stuck in my head again
Lovely. I fear success because I'm afraid I might not be able to match or top again something I create, or be articulate enough in expression and use of the medium, or not match up to my influences if people associate them to me. Afraid to seem like I'm copying them, or just repeating what's already been done. Then also, not being unique enough. I'm also afraid of others claiming my work, which has actually happened to me more than once already! These factors really make me reluctant to share. That concept of relaxed energy has worked for me before. Just focusing on how I can be better than I was yesterday, without thinking about the imperfections or doubts. Might not be healthy though. I still really struggle with delusional doubts and fears while objectively, being capable.
You're better than a psychologist. Thanks for putting yourself out there and I am a fan, not a hater! 🙂
I have been grappling with this exact thing for so long. My ideas live in my head because the success I dream about is much easier to attain there than if I take a chance in reality. It’s so frustrating and exhausting. After watching this I think I can try and take that leap off the edge and take the first step that I’ve been putting off for years. Thank you for this PSA that I really needed to hear ❤️
Yo man.. I'm an aspiring movie director.. Stuff like that is golden. I hope you truly understand that you put out good quality and thoughtful videos, you bring the tools for us, now we have to use them.
Plz also remember that, energy flows so easily.. Get stressed or put too much hype for a vid and it'll transmit to the camera. You're basically an actor for us in those vids.. So just clear your mind and make sure you love and believe what you say, and you'll make the most loveable vids.. You truly have the insight necessary, the appeal and the will for making those vids. You don't really have that much experience yet but it's okay cuz its just a time related question and it'll only get better.. One thing about experience is that as long as you keep going no matter how hard you fucked up, you'll still learn :)
Anyway, thanks for fresh human "insight", hope you have a nice one pal :)
My notifications popped up your video as a recommendation. Thank you for this. I am a licensed mental health therapist and I hope you don't mind; I would love to use this video with some of my clients. I remember a client once told me many years ago how he didn't want me to acknowledge his progress out of fear of going backwards. I didn't understand it at the time; however, developed some techniques over the years that has helped. I find that your video is a wonderful breakdown and explains fear of success in a manner I think many can understand and relate to. Thank you for what you are doing.
Just bought your book man, really love your content as I seem to struggle in a similar fashion to you with being an artist while working and trying to be productive and learn all the skills I need. It seems like no one wants to talk about all the work it takes, physical, intellectual, and emotional, but you dive deep into it. Thanks so much!
Love that you spoke about this topic, its crazy 😭
What helps me a TON is to imagine my future self as a separate person.
Like, yes, I could binge a whole season of an anime show now instead of doing whatever needs to be done by the end of the week and push everything on tomorrow me. But damn, that's be so shitty of me! Then she has to do all the work of today as well. And she'll be really disappointed in me. Instead, I'll just do some of the work now and watch a few episodes later and she will be super proud of me.
As you said, sometimes it's easier to do stuff for someone else. My partner, my family, friends, people who depend on me professionally. And seeing tomorrow me as "someone else" helps immensely to bring stuff into perspective.
I tried to start a business for a year now and gave up just yesterday. I hardly managed to do anything in it and didn't get very far. I started off on fire, then had so many setbacks, sickness, deaths in the family, terrible personal problems, that I just lost the spark. I wrote goals and deadlines, but hardly ever kept them, and got sick of writing the same goals over and over. Each time I wrote the same goal or deadline over and over, I would feel even more dejected about my abilities. I placed everything as of greater importance then my business. My step-father told me I would never have a business or earn a decent income (with a sneer) and he died this year. Some things you said resonated with me (underdog and fear that my best isn't good enough), but I still don't understand why I feel I can't succeed. Perhaps it was my step-father's words? Perhaps once someone says something I believe it and make it come true? Perhaps I associate striving to start a business with every awful thing that has happened this year? I don't know and I don't know how to overcome it, but I will try your tips.
The video went from a 10/10 to a 15/10 just by your doggo being there 💜 Also, it's kinda creppy how you always upload a video when I'm about to crash and help me stand up again. Thank you so much 💜💜💜
These kinda videos are slowly creeping into my subconscious in a good way, and I love it. This is realistic and thought-provokingly sobering. Thanks Dude! Really related to this in a major way.
Hi Campbell. This is one of the most concise and well-made vids on the topic.
Too many of us are stuck and have no idea why. Now we know what's going on and how to deal with it.
Keep being awesome!
Every video I watch of yours
Feels like you are talking specifically to me😳
You totally get it & I think your openness about your own experiences helps people.
THANK YOU
People already said everything I could have said about the video, so I just want to add that your dog is so precious 🥰
omg struthless this is exactly what is on my mind right now thanks the universe and thank you !! you are the most charming and relatable youtuber and i'm inspired by you a lot! love from china ❤️
Dude, i mean... your vid vs every other "fear of success" vid is like going all in on the deep end vs dipping the toe in shallow waters... keep 'em coming Cam, i need regular doses of struthless in my life :)
People will hate you if you become better. But that's just life showing you who was actually your friend or had love for you.
I don't have many friends now as I've learned to let the dead leaves drop. There's not the confusing, intangible feeling of disgust and unhealthy competition towards me present in my life now. Learning not to shrink my light for big egos has been my healing journey.
Your videos are gold! your entire channel is the best thing that has happened to my brain lately. I’m suffering from a burnout and I just can’t get out of it but your videos helped me so much. Thank you for your content!
I didn't quite realize that this was one of my big problems- plus I find it interesting how I found this the day you posted it which also happens to be my birthday, so thanks for the gift! Also looking forward to reading your book soon. I really appreciate all the work you put into what you do, it's all really interesting and deserves all the success it gets.
Happy birthday ((((:
dude you are honestly amazing thank you so much no ones hacked my mind like you have I am SO GRATEFUL
Wow, it's been almost exactly 2 years since I first came across this and Struth's other stuff, and it's really wild how much it's impacted my own journey. I did the 'get more overhead' thing and I am now figuring it out. It's definitely a motivator! And yet I'm back here, learning from this video again, and there's always more to learn. Cheers from NYC and thanks for doing your thing!
Every time I see the title of one of your videos, I'm like, "oh man this sounds so corporate I don't wanna watch that" and then I remember how all your videos about personal growth have something in them that really resonates with me. I guess that terms like "successful" and "time management" are usually associated with shallow success advice (often around money), but there's no reason they have to be. Thank you for another awesome video!