Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room ...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ส.ค. 2024
- i love this dialogue...
Monthy Python's Holly Grail - Swamp Castle
Keenest guards ever!
FATHER:
One day, lad, all this will be yours!
PRINCE HERBERT:
What, the curtains?
FATHER:
No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
HERBERT:
But Mother--
FATHER:
Father, lad. Father.
HERBERT:
B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
FATHER:
Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
HERBERT:
But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
FATHER:
Rather what?!
HERBERT:
I'd rather...
[music]
...just... sing!
FATHER:
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
HERBERT:
B-- but I don't want land.
FATHER:
Listen, Alice,--
HERBERT:
Herbert.
FATHER:
'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
HERBERT:
But-- but I don't like her.
FATHER:
Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
HERBERT:
I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
[music]
...a certain,... special... something!
FATHER:
Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
[smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
GUARD #1:
Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
No, no. Until I come and get him.
GUARD #1:
Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
FATHER:
No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.
FATHER:
No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1:
Leaving the room. Yes.
[sniff]
FATHER:
All right?
GUARD #1:
Right.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we--
FATHER:
Yes? What is it?
GUARD #1:
Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--
FATHER:
Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1:
Uh...
FATHER:
You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER:
N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--
GUARD #1:
Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--
FATHER:
No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--
GUARD #1:
Until you or anyone else--
FATHER:
No, not anyone else. Just me.
GUARD #1:
Just you.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Get back.
GUARD #1:
Get back.
FATHER:
All right?
GUARD #1:
Right. We'll stay here until you get back.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
What?
FATHER:
Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
The Prince?
FATHER:
Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
Oh, yes, of course.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
GUARD #1:
Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER:
Is that clear?
GUARD #2:
Hic!
GUARD #1:
Oh, quite clear. No problems.
FATHER:
Right. Where are you going?
GUARD #1:
We're coming with you.
FATHER:
No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
Oh, I see. Right.
HERBERT:
But Father!
FATHER:
Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!
[music]
And no singing!
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Oh, go and get a glass of water.
[clank]
"She's got HUGE...tracts of land."
"tracts"
Matt McNeil , You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.
Why do I get the feeling the king was going to say something else
@@jimhuffman9434 Nah!
@@DieFlabbergast no no let him speak I think he's got a point
How can one scene have SO many recurring jokes? The singing, forgetting each other's name, the confused guards...it's brilliantly written and expertly executed.
You forgot the kings scalp condition.I think it's CROWN Propecia.
And the sinking in the swamp
Even the hiccups
I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition
@@kevinshanahan6064 Nobody does!
farther: one day lad all this will be yours
Herbert: what the curtains?
father: no not the curtains lad
herbert: but mother
father: father im father.
this kills me eveytime
Hahahahahahahaha yes hollariouss
my favourite line from the whole film. Python had so many amazing seemingly thow away lines
I have no idea why that line makes me laugh as hard as it does.
The "make sure he doesn't leave" is my favorite movie scene of all time. It's just perfect.
Mine too.
The ancestors of those guards are today's flat Earthers.
Philly Decay PHLDK No, ancestors. After an accident with a rubber band, some contraceptives & a time machine.
I've had people working for me that take instruction just like those guards
Haggle scene from Life of Brian is also perfect.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw this film and that moment when the Prince goes “I’d rather just sing!!”… I rolled my eyes because I didn’t want to sit through a musical number only to have the father character quite literally express my exact feelings 😂
I prefer the version in, ironically, the stage musical, where the father actually threatens the orchestra 😂
This time the hiccup killed me
Father figure? I thought he was the mother...
@@willw1991 Father, lad. Father.
Well of course the fourth castle stayed up, it's resting on top of the first three
That's also what I thought. And, I think it would have been great if the king had said that!
Genius!
That's the joke, dumbass.
So he was the first member of the Royal Society for putting things on top of other things.
nope you got it wrong.
Sadly, the curtains have closed on Terry Jones wonderful life today.. While he never grabbed headlines like Cleese or Palin, Terry Jones was such a brilliant writer and director. Thank you thank you thank you for all of the laughs.
He is the reason flying circus had the flow from sketch to sketch. We've lost a legend for sure. Rest in peace nobody is going to stop you from singing now
He's gone to meet Dr. Chapman
Nah, he's just resting.
@@samarvora7185 LOL
Samar Vora BEAUtiful plumage, eh Squire? If we hadn't nailed 'im to 'is writing desk, 'e would of muscled up those bars and VOOM!
“But mother”
“Father lad, father”
“But father”
“Listen, Alice”
“Herbert”
🤣🤣🤣
I always thought he said “Alex”, but Alice is better haha.
Me talking to my niece
"But, Sandra.."
"Emily"
"Emily"
They're both trans
@@evelynr5327 no you're just mental
Whenever a Disney song comes in, I want a character to say “Stop that, stop that! Nobody is singing while I’m here.”
Terry Jones is perfect as the sickly Prince. And for some reason the way the king grabs him and slaps him at the end always cracks me up.
Best thing Terry ever did.
@@thebrazilianatlantis165 Oooo I wouldn't say that.
"What the curtains ?". That always makes me tear up.
He’s not sickly, he’s gay
He is Terry Jones ??????? Damn ! Good make up
-You are already beeing missed
Terry: what the curtains ?
-No not the curtains. YOU 😭
Sadly the last curtain has fallen for Terry. He really will be missed (No, not the curtain).
I build this Death Star up from nothing. When I started, all there was was space. All the other empires said it was daft to build a Death Star in space, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It got blown up by rebels, so I built a 2nd one. That was blown up by rebels. So I built a 3rd one. That was beaten, damaged, and then got blown up by Rebels, but the 4th one stayed up!
and how goes the 4th death star then?
But i don't want any of that.
Luke: but father, i dont want any of that id rather.
Vader: rather what?
Luke: id rather be a jedi (music nearly starts)
Vader: (music stops) no no stop that stop that.
was the third one Starkiller base?
Jackson Mares yes
“Make sure he doesn’t leave”
“Go get a glass of water”
So subtle but so clever
I don't understand. Is it funny because he was told not leave just moments ago and now he's told to get a glass of water for which he needs to leave the room?
I love how the guards finally seem to get it at the end and then when the king leaves, they line up behind him. Perfect!
To this day when someone's doing something annoying I say "stop that stop that! you're not goin' into a song while I'm here". Of course they have no idea why I said that.
when every I want to make a joke about huge knockers I always call them 'great tracks of land' and it goes over everone's head...especially since I'm a yank.
gunmunz ya... I use that one too. Lots of lines from this movie I still use. Definitely stuck in our heads. Strangely enough I had the record before I saw the movie. It was hilarious too... especially the fake broadcast of the movie premiere.
hebber1961 I know this is a year old but Monty Python in general is quoteable
+gunmunz Definately.
I always do the "If, if, err....if, if". :o)
"What the curtains..?" this whole scene hits every note, pitch perfect! This movie is Monty Python and all of British Comedy at it's best.
British humor at its absolute supreme indeed, MP will always be the best. Even after 40 years their stuff is still so much fresher and funnier than anything that calls itself comedy today.
"Listen, Alice..." "Herbert..." 'Herbert' - my favorite part :)
Just like:
"But mother..."
"Father! i'm father."
"But father."
Every time I see Justin Herbert, I pronounce it like he says to his dad “Erbert”
Who would say no to getting their hands on huge tracks of land?!
Barry Andersen He's either gay or asexual.
Barry Andersen "Tracts of land"
+Matthew Christiansen I'm pretty sure he's gay. And that's not a homophobic judgment.
Barry Andersen I would to land that looks pretty ugly, regardless of size. Quality over quantity.
He’s gay
"She's beautiful,she's rich,she's got huge.....
tracts of land!"
i like that look eric idle was doing when he is smiling as the prince is writing a note and shoot it out of the window with an bow and arrow
Cobax hahaha that's the best
"When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England."
Man, that third one had bad luck.
"But I don't want land."
"Listen, we live in a bloody swamp; we need all the land we can get!"
ackbarfan5556 I just love it if you understand that the 4th castle only stayed up because the other 3 were supporting it from beneath XD
SacridFire That's brilliant. Good thinking man!
I wonder if that was the inspiration for the Babylon stations in Babylon 5!
But I'd rather, rather, just sing...🎵@@Sindraug25
“But father...” that alone is enough to get me going 🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂- i think his petulant tone as a spoiled prince is just perfect 😂
Comedy has never got any better than this!
British humor at its absolute best, they just don't do quality comedy like this anymore.
Honestly the best bit here is "Some day lad this'll all be yours." - "What the Curtains?"
"No, not the curtains, lad!"
I always laugh at this part, freakin brilliant.
Guards scene - one take. Unbelievable when you consider how iconic a scene it is!
My favourite part is 2:58 where Palin's skulking in the shadows : ’And, er, make sure he doesn't leave'. It's as if he knows that nothing he's said's been understood but he's tried to put his own uneasy mind at rest.
Jones is so good in this scene that it's easy to forget that Palin killed too.
Well said, every human with a brain has had that massive lack of faith in his fellow man-and boy-gut feelings.
I swear my 13yr old is a daft as those guards.
+GasCityGuy my 14 yr. old son is definitely as daft as those guards...!
aren't all 13 year olds? ;)
- "What?!"
- "Make sure he doesn't leave"
- "The Prince!?"
This part will never stop making me laugh...
AND NO SINGING.
Hic!
Oh go get a glass of water.
I wish that would happen during a Disney movie with a grouchy character
@@marywhite9676
Yes! That would be a way to break the fourth wall
damn
I use this joke with my two sons. They will ask me to do something but I twist the directions around and around until they walk away in frustration.
Supreme parent joke
Ha, I think all dads do that. (Or maybe it's just all dads who grew up watching Python.)
Wait till they put you in the nursing home then they will have the last laugh!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
1:54 to 3:32. One continuous shot, no cuts or edits. Man, they were SO talented and funny. It just doesn't get any better than that!
what episode of game of thrones is this from?
it's monty python not GOT
+Marta Kaizak Bullshit
The best one.
+Mary Jac Joffrey and Robert look less dead then the last time I seen them.
+Mary Jac The Red Wedding one, obviously.
"Oh go and get a glass of water"
"Listen, Alice!" "Herbert."
I have a friend who's nerdy and quite busty.
We got her a t-shirt that said "Huge Tracts of Land"
“I thought you meant him! You know, it seemed a bit daft to me I was to guard him when he’s a guard!”. That’s my favourite bit, lots thanks to Idle’s delivery. His facial expression afterwards is also so funny, like he’s about to laugh at his own comment. It is indeed very silly to imagine that guard guarding the room from the other guard.
The REAL Game of Thrones.
The best Comedy of all time and directed by Terry Jones. I laugh every time I see this scene and I have seen it several times over. Thanks for everything - just brilliant comedy. RIP.
Terry Jones has left the room now, sadly.
I’m so glad my dad introduced me to this. I can’t stop watching it now 😂🤣
That’s the best thing you cannot stop watching 😂😂😂 they were real GENIUSES !
When I watched first time I was just a kid and instantly I was so hooked up ! Since now.
When I have a rough time I just watch Monty Python. And I still fall from the couch laughing. This will never get old.
I visited Doune Castle 2 years ago and I have been a huge fan of Monty Python for some 40 odd years now. Hearing that line "What the curtains?" just had me in tears of laughter though I'd heard it many, many times. I can only say that Terry Jones was one of the few who could have you crawling on the floor, giggling like mad, because he was so funny (and silly, of course!).
I've lost one of my heroes today but I'll always look on the bright side of life !
R.I.P Terry and thanks for all the laughs!
Denis BEGUIER We’ll all miss Terry. He was one of a kind. A brilliant director and actor. Prince Herbert is in my opinion, his best role!
Every time someone hiccups I always say "Oh go get a glass of water" in a British accent.
No such thing as a British accent; there are hundreds of different ones. That particular one is a South Yorkshire one as Michael is originally from Sheffield.
You're welcome ;o)
"But father...."
"SHUT YA NOISE, YOU!!"
@@downtoearthx9393 and no singing!
1:02 That's how I act in front of a musical xD
I feel like this is about Terry Jones' penchant for turning everything he directs into a musical.
He got away with Meaning of life
Sadly Terry Jones has left us now, although he was supposed to stay in the room.
@@torstenscholz6243 Don't worry. He's gone to meet Dr. Chapman
"but mother"
"father, I'm father"
xD
My dreams is to put my flag between two huge tracts of land
+ElTioboi You got a lot of ground to cover.
ElTioboi 😐
My dream is to place my cannon in the gorge which lies south of those tracts of land.
he protecc
he attack
but most importantly, he abacc
RIP terry jones. We will miss you. It feels strange that a man with such great talent has passed away
He left us? But he wasn't supposed to leave the room!
RIP Terry Jones. My dad and I use the quote "But I don't want any of that I'd rather..sing" when asking each other for virtually anything! Gone but certainly not forgotten!
Favorite part: "Oh, quite clear! No problems." Promptly follow the king as he leaves the room.
Prince Herbert marrying Princess Lucky because of 'huge tracts of land' - this is an accurate description of how the Kingdom of England came into existence. Probably written by Terry Jones, who is an expert in mediaeval history.
+Elitist20 John Cleese says this bit was by Michael Palin.
+Lytrigian Palin and Jones often worked together (as did Cleese and Graham Chapman) while Eric Idle and Terry Gilliam did their bits on their own. P and J had already been a team on "The Complete and Utter History of Britain", and later did "Ripping Yarns", which also have historical settings. So maybe Palin "imbibed" it from Jones!
Cleese said you could tell who wrote what: "most of the sketches with the *heavy* abuse in them were Graham's and mine; any sketch that started with a slow pan across countryside and impressive music was Mike and Terry's; and anything that got utterly involved with words and disappeared up any personal orifice was Eric's." (From Fringe to Flying Circus, Roger Wilmut, 1980)
+Lytrigian Cleese says the guards not understanding part was written by Palin. The Prince Herbert stuff more generally was written by Jones and Palin.
Either that, or he was going to say she got big boobs, but corrected himself by saying tracks of lands.
But, not that you mention it, probably how the kingdom of England came to be.
"but the fourth one...that stayed up!" 🤣
But I don't want that, I'd rather, rather, just and sing...🎵
King: One day all this will be yours
Prince: The curtains?
King: No not the curtains
😂😂🤣🤣
"Where are you going? We're coming with you!....No no, I want you to stay here AND MAKE SURE E DOESN'T LEAVE!"
"oh i see right"
the prince?
@@phillytheflyerable Yes the prince
E doesn't leave lol
@@martinputt6421 I thought you meant him. It did seem a bit daft for to me guard him when he's a guard
Never gets old. Pure genius scene. Love it.
"GUARDS!! make sure the prince doesn't leave the room until I come and get him"
"Right, he's not to leave the room even if you come and get him..."
🤣🤣🤣😅
This film is a timeless masterpiece.
Watching this video makes me want to.....sing.
stop that stop that!
derth4
lol. I watch this movie at least once a month.
I should do that too.
derth4 you're not going into a song while I'm here
AND NO SINGING
The way Herbert says "I know" after his father finishes by saying she's got huge tracts of land.....just gets me everytime. It's a little thing but still funny.
She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huuuge....tracks of land!
Blahblahblah Blah my favorite part lol
When you describe your gf to your folks XD
Quintessential Python silliness.
Gag after gag after gag
We're coming with you.
No no I want you to stay here and make sure he doesn't leave
@@ddthewolf Who, the other guard?
Mother!... Father Father...
*Starts breaking into song* STOP THAT, STOP THAT, you're not goin' into a song while I'm 'ere!
"I'd rather. Just. Sing..." LoL
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going to be doing any singing while I'm here!
"You don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huuuuge...tracks of land!" 😂😂😂😂😂
I want the girl I marry to have a certain special something...🎵
Unintentional bit of gold in the writing; he FINALLY gets the guards to do their job and then tells the hiccuping one to get a glass of water, which would require him to leave the room.
I never thought of that, and IT IS hilarious. 😂 Kudos.
That guard is totally me at every job I've worked...
RIP Terry Jones, you finally got your curtains.
He has left us? I told the guards that he mustn't leave the room!
"So I built the third one. That burned down, fell over and then sank into the swamp." lol
Lots of things have made me laugh but so few have to the point where I couldn't breathe. The first time I saw this and the guards followed him out of the room, I thought I was going to suffocate.
This is what it's like teaching ITT students.
Why bother, just because you're payed for it? Win the lottery or something, you twit.
Just tell them to ask others "Have you tried turning your computer off and on again?"
one of the funniest scenes ever.. "I'd rather.. Sing".. Thank you..
I think 7 people need a HUG ;) x
100
@@LetsTalkAboutPrepping you realize that comment is 9 years old
@@lasagna1471 and?
110 people now
Father: Make sure he doesn't leave the room.
Guard #1: So, only if he asks nicely.
Father: No! Don't let him leave at all!
"Where are you going? "We're following you!"
Guard #2: Hic!
dude lmaoooo, the most deliciously funny little thing in this scene is when hes about to leave then hesitates a little "....and make sure he doesnt leave...." Then has to come back in because they obviously still dont get it HAHAHA that part fucking kills me
RIP Terry Jones!!! You will he missed! Sing away in heaven!
1:02 my reaction to the fixer upper song from Frozen.
Agreed!
My reaction to every episode of Glee, whenever a song pops up.
aww but that's quite a lot!
ambulance girl Just watched it so I can see how it took a huge nosedive which made the people on the show just give up.
***** Yeah, it was the only Song from Frozen that I actually Hated.
RIP Terry Jones...a very underrated comedic genius.
The scene made as a gift to employers and managers everywhere for all time.
I mean.... after 3 god damn castles falling into the swamp, I would imagine the building ground would be nothing BUT bricks haha and it could never sink again. My God this scene is incredible.... doing this in one single take is just wow...... the Kings frustration and the guards lack of understanding.... this is something of the best I've ever seen
I always felt this Palin character deserved a stand alone film of his own.
She's got huuuuuge.........tracts of land. Gets me every time.
I wish they still made movies like this.... I cannot even remember the last time i seen a good movie it was so long ago.
I love how patient he remains when explaining the situation over and over again. I think the easy comedic move would to make him get really mad and storm off but his patience and extra care to explain the most basic task makes it so much funnier.
"One day lad, all this will be yours!"
"What, the curtains?"
LOLOL
"Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
[smack]"
That slap is the funniest thing I'd seen in years. I watched this movie literally over 100 times and never noticed how awesome his slap was.
2:28 always cracks me up. Eric Idle is priceless.
Bloody hell, Terry Jones was a human chameleon! I've only just NOW found out it was him playing the prince.
"Listen Alice"
"Herbert"
"Herbert" LMAO!!
One of my favourite terry Jones performances. Thank you terry for your energy, creativity and humour. And you always played the best pepper pot. Rest in peace and carry on being silly.
Simply the one of the best scenes in the name of comedy!
i'm from morocco and i watched this movie for the first time in italy in the early 80's with some friends from Usa.
the life of brian and this movie are my favorite comedy movies
RIP Terry Jones....you did great in your roles!!
The part that cracks me up most is when Palin says "we live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get."
Classic. I burst into tears every single time I watch this!
But father.
Shut your noise hole you! And get that suit on!
On the Death Star
Darth Vader: “Stormtroopers! Make sure the Princess doesn’t leave this room until I come and get her!”
Stormtroooper 1: not to leave the room, even when you come and get her!
Stormtrooper 2: Hiccup!
@@marcosdelacerda9874 Vader: No, no, *UNTIL* I come and get her.
@@carrbender
Trooper 1: we don't do anything aside from just stop him, entering the room!
Trooper 2: hicc!!
@@marcosdelacerda9874 Vader: No, no, stop *HER* from *LEAVING* the room.
I`m sort of thinking of this in the middle of a `Game of Thrones` episode.
Somehow it sort of works!
Robert Sneddon Dave and Dan say they always feel they’re one step away from a scene becoming Monty Python.
This film is a masterpiece.
Yes boss and so is your content too👍👍
1:02 that's how to stop disney frozen