Greg Davies On Being The World's Worst Teacher | Stand Up
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2020
- You might not know it but before becoming a class stand up comedian Greg Davies used to stand up in a class. He was a drama teacher, although by his own account he was sh*t at it. In this clip he tells the audience what made him such a rubbish teacher, taken from his Netflix Special You Magnificent Beast.
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Greg Davies On Being The World's Worst Teacher | Stand Up
/ netflixuk
British comedian Greg Davies revisits terrifying dates, manscaping disasters, his father's pranks and more in a savagely funny stand-up special. - บันเทิง
I once failed a presentation because my geography teacher had never heard of a fjord and refused to believe that they exist.
Teachers rarely learn. Should be surprising, but honestly isn't. Some of the teachers I know I really have to question if they bought their 'university degrees' at a flea market in India.
@@HarmonicaMustang It's why you never see a well-off teacher. What person in their right mind would do what they do for such terrible money! Those that can do, those that can't teach!
He was probably pining for them.
@@LatinoAaron You're right, no-one *would* teach for the money. That's why, to be a good teacher, you need to WANT to do it. It's a calling. There are many shit teachers because being a shit teacher is incredibly easy - but the few good teachers from my childhood, the ones who gave me confidence when I had none, inspired me to carry on their legacy. Having a teacher that really cares and tries means the whole world to a kid with no confidence in himself, trust me.
As for the old 'those that can't do, teach' chestnut, my dad trains experts who've worked in industry their whole lives as technicians and engineers to teach what they know to students. They know the material back to front, but their idea of teaching is to stand at the front of a class talking about the inner workings of engines for hours on end while their entire class falls asleep - and then they wonder why no-one remembers what they've said. Teaching is its own form of doing and those who don't understand that make bad teachers.
It's extremely easy to be a bad teacher, anyone can do that - and many people do, unfortunately. Being a good teacher, though? You need practical knowledge of the subject, presentation and performance skills, social skills, public speaking skills, the ability to plan, to think on your feet and improvise when things go wrong, to handle difficult children, teenagers and sometimes even difficult adults, a sense of humour, compassion for your students and colleagues, good emotional self-control, a watchful eye, a sense of discipline, the ability to assert authority and to show confidence even if you don't feel it, a genuine investment in the success of your students and, perhaps most importantly, the willingness to admit when you're wrong and learn from your mistakes.
So yeah. You're right. Only a crazy person would teach. It's difficult to be good at it, you don't get paid a lot and people who've had bad experiences at school will hate you just for BEING a teacher, whether you're good or bad. Who in their right mind would do that?
Yikes that's bad
I once had a teacher who asked if we could name any astronauts. I said "Buzz Aldrin" and her response was. "No, I mean a real one."
She was thinking of Buzz Lightyear. Easy mistake to make, they look exactly alike!
🤣🤣🤣
@@ze_rubenator that or she's a conspiracy theorist who believes the moon landings were faked and thus that Buzz Aldrin doesn't qualify as an astronaut
CorvusCorone68 Well Buzz Aldrin had been to space before the Apollo 11 moon landing so either she didn’t know that or she was thinking of Buzz Lightyear
@@UncommonSense-wm5fd that's not really fair though, anyone who knows that would also be aware of the moniker most are familiar with
My 8th grade English teacher wrote "noisey and disruptive" on my report card. Instead of signing it, Dad circled the misspelling with a red pen.
Based dad. How did you end up?
@@toddharig8142 Still here. Excellent speller. Not quite as noisy and disruptive.
@@NxDoyle Good, make cool dad proud!
Yup. That explains why you were noisy and disrupitive.
@@lupuslongevitus *disruptive
There was a power outage at my school. A classmate suggested we watch a movie.
That's hilarious!
LOL
use a laptop, provide mobile data to it, hello?
We had a power outage in my city once. And I realized how dependent I am on electricity. I was in the shower, water went cold. Decided i would watch some telly while I waited, then realized that wouldn't work. Decided to call my sis, to see if she had the same issue, realized that wouldnt work either. Decided I would just make a cup of tea while I waited, realized the watercooker and induction stove both didn't work either..
@@yankochoynev652 Are you 13? There was a time when those weren't options. The OP could be talking about the mid 2000's for example.
"Think of how dumb the average person is, and then realize *half* of them are dumber than that" -George Carlin
@Brainflayer I always hated this quote because it implies that dumb-smart is some sort of scale like temperature. Even ignoring the fact that "being smart" is falsely viewed by some as an obvious binary state despite it being super fuzzie and objective(especially at the edges), each human brain is far too nuanced to be easily cataloged on a scale of dumb to smart. This quote is actually a perfect example. George Carlin was a very intelligent person, but if he truly thought this made sense as a way to think about his species' intelligence... he was either uniformed or wasn't understanding something correctly.
I get that the vast majority of what we interact with can be quantified.. but consciousness and the human brain is why we can even understand those concepts and talk about them, but it's definitely not able to analyze itself and other brains to the degree we can rate everyone on a scale. I know it may seem obvious when distinguishing between an obviously dumb person vs an obviously smart person, but even when it's that obvious it's most likely not because the human brain can always surprise you... and again, we don't have a definition of intelligence like we do with temperature or size.
Like how educated and otherwise smart would a person have to be, for you to consider them intelligent despite them being a flat earther? Because while there might not being alive at the moment, an einstein level genius flat earther is not an impossible thing.
@@JohnCWannamaker While I will admit you make valid points, dude, this is a comment on TH-cam quoting a comedian, I was just trying to be ironically funny.
@@Brainflayer to further my point, I promise you would consider me an intelligent person if we met and talked in a different context, but right now, I seem like (am absolutely) a drunk dumb dumb who reads too much into youtube comments. :)
Edit: also you're right. But it's youtube and what better place to be drunkenly pretentious.
@@JohnCWannamaker Fair point, though you seem like a cool guy
@@Brainflayer thanks :) You seem like a pretty agreeable/kind person yourself.
My friend was trying to find a word for the beginning of a story in an English analysis essay and she wrote foreplay
I mean, she isn't technically wrong
@@UncommonSense-wm5fd pedantry ain't cute, sis
@@UncommonSense-wm5fd I think you'll find it's spelt "foreword".
It is such a sexualised world!
🤣
At the end of a month-long unit on Shakespeare, a girl in my English class raised her hand and asked (dead serious), "is Shakespeare still alive?"
Our teacher looked at her and, completely deadpan to match, said, "I hope not."
Similar Eng Lit conundrum took place in my secondary school. Our teacher had read somebody's answer to a GCSE question which said that Utterson and Poole (from Jekyll and Hyde) were breaking down the door of the room that Hyde was in (towards the end of the novel) only to find the dead body of... Inspector Goole! (From An Inspector Calls). Ffs.
If he is, he’s been pretty stubborn about keeping any new works quiet for the last 400 years or so.
Halfway through a Bible and Literature course in university, a student raised her hand and asked why the poetry in the Bible doesn't rhyme.
When I was about 13 years old, our music class teacher showed us a video of a young man, 18 years old or so, who was performing a piece from Mozart. This one girl in my class said "I didn't know Mozart was this young, I always pictured him way older."
The teacher answered that well!
"I hate kids and my friends are stupid."
Relatable.
John S. Weekley / PRIMEVAL Music
Glad I’m not the only one.
Your friends are stupid because they think you are their friend?
@@sabrinafinkel92 nope, we're just stupid because we're stupid.
You've really got it all figured out haven't you 🥴😒
@@perihelion7445 Yep, people are stupid.
"A snake isn't an animal. It's a creature." - My friend's mom while driving us home from school.
Some people do seem to use the word "animal" to mean "mammal". Certainly the prototypical animal is a mammal.
'frogs aren't animals, they're amphibians'. wow.
@DiaKorrus 18 I think her "reasoning" might have come from this. Snake = satan = bad. Animals = good. Snake not animal.
Sounds like that mum should have passed-on the driving test.
@@qwertyTRiG a kid at my school once told me a whale isn't an animal, it's a mammal. We were only about 10 though
I don't have a story to tell about a stupid friend, you know what that means? I am the stupid friend.
Or you don't have any friends.
Come on, you’re probably very intelligent, don’t discredit yourself for having good company 😊
You know what, mate, I love my stupid friends to death, way more than my arsehole friends 🙌
I love this comment!
Telling everyone you're stupid isn't the greatest sign of intelligence.
After a very hectic weekend on call a few years ago I got home from the hospital and broke open a nice bottle of Rioja and collapsed onto the sofa to watch TV. My then 11 year old daughter who was sat on the kitchen table behind me asked
“Dad is wine a solution”
To which I genuinely replied.
“Not in the long run no”
My wife burst out laughing, my daughter was very confused. Turns out she was just doing some chemistry homework. Story still comes up 4 years later anytime I order wine at a restaurant.
Once my dad came home and saw me dashing around the kitchen with sliced fruit, butter, flour, and sugar. He said, "Ah, I see you have the makings of a tart."
Rarely does a comment make me laugh out loud, but this was way too good
The problem with drowning your sorrow is sorrow knows how to swim.
Is wine a solution?
Yes, and yet at the same time, no.
An english teacher sent me to the principal's office for "too aggressively" arguing that avocado is a fruit and refusing to admit that I was wrong. Told what happened to the principal and she looked at me, dead serious "But avocado IS a fruit..." Sent me back with a note saying "Check for avocado in the dictionary" 😂😂😂
And more specifically, an avocado is classified as a berry.
It contains seeds. Is it therefore not by definition a biological fruit?
They're calling FRUITING plants for a reason
Then the entire administrative team clapped and carried you on their shoulders as class after class took to the halls to chant your name.
r/thathappened lol
I hope it's true but I don't believe it entirely
Woman I once dated called me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I said, "But I am at work". She said "I checked on google earth and your car's still in your driveway."
Talk about a red flag!
Creepy as fuck! Once I blocked a sleazy dude I’ve met on a dating app and he found my email and other info through the place he used to work at. Scary 😶
“Oh honey it’s a good thing you called. Let’s break up. Take your shit with you by the time I’m there. And don’t use my car.”
"I once dated"
Please tell me you dumped her right then and there.
"If jellyfish are 97% water, just add the other 3% and turn them into water. They'll be more useful."
-- Karl Pilkington
Karl Pilkington is a god. And while I don't much like Ricky Gervais, finding Karl is the best thing he's ever done.
@@lanmandragoran8337 why would you hate Ricky?????
@@t4yyib_iq Fantastic at a roast or hosting a shitty celebrity function...not bad as a writer...not great as "on screen talent" comedian...unless as a host, as I said before. His standup is fairly shit, overall...and lets be honest, I could drag Karl through the mud just as easily as he does during the podcasts, its not as if he does anything but give Karl a topic and let him spew misinformation his silly brain has made up about it. I'd say about 15% of people could have easily done as good or better of a job than he did, with a treasure trove of interesting thought such as Karl sitting next to them. I can't believe the abuse Karl was willing to endure honestly.
And I never said I hated Ricky, I just think he is less talented than he gets credit for. Which is still more talented than I am, but then thats why he gets to be Ricky and I'm just some guy. Its really just a matter of opinion, maybe he is far funnier than I think he is and my sense of humor isn't tweaked quite right for his jokes. Who knows, just an opinion, but the fact that Ricky exists on that podcast in no way makes the podcast work, it could've been anyone. Just happy Ricky found Karl and had the opportunity and ability to bring Karl to us.
I'm not saying Ricky is shit, nor that I think he's a bad person, I just don't prefer him...not sure if I'm coming across clearly right now or not, just did a route driving all night and am about to crawl into bed, could just be rambling at this point ;)
And no one eats jellyfish with chips and mushy peas. Get rid of them.
@@lanmandragoran8337 I don't agree with you, I love Ricky Gervais, but I appreciated how nicely you said what you think! Cheers!
My friend wanted a glass of milk but the carton was nearly empty, so I said just open a new carton to fill it up. She said no, I don’t want to mix milk from 2 different cows! I was flabbergasted.
They keep it in a vat filled with milk from hundreds of cows. XD The milk has to be processed in order to be shipped. What is wrong with people? It's not raw milk. XD It's not even safe to drink raw milk.
I do the same
lunarcorpse wait what? I’ve drank raw milk loads of times when I was a kid at my grandparents’ farm
Raivo_ intensive Farming with many cows having Cystitis and other problems.. chances increase of bacteria in fresh milk. Industrial milking is not so safe xx
Geraldine Burns yeah but they only had one cow so does that make it safe to drink??
“We are all ignorant - just about different things.” Mark Twain
Cruelly true
"Your dad is gay" Your Mom
I know that I know nothing.
@@HellHunter00 That's the beginning of wisdom.
Sharia Twain is his great grand daughter.
Once in high school during history class the teacher was explaining the whole Aryan race superiority ingrained within the Nazi's propaganda. After like 20 minutes of it, this girl went "why the hell are we talking about astrological signs during history class?"... she thought the teacher was talking about the Aries sign
What happened after she said that?
@@sophjesswt7722 she was hung
@@SnekkySnek That was pre-op. Now it's an innie.
@@Hoganply did you jus-
@@SnekkySnek X)
i used to think that Concentrate was a country because orange juice cartons would say “from concentrate” on it so i assumed the oranges came from a country called Concentrate. in fairness i was like 10.
see, I'd give you a pass for that, because like....even middle school I might but these are people WELL INTO ADULTHOOD XD
Lmao that's a good one. I remember getting into a very heated argument with my sister when I was like 9 or so, because she was trying to say that there was a real country named "Newsie Land" and I just refused to believe her lmao. She was, of course, talking about New Zealand which is a real place, I felt kinda dumb after that one haha
Better than me. I thought it said concrete, and that orange juice was made from the same shit as the fucking pavement.
I sorta like you....
I wouldn't want to go camping there tho...
Chemistry teacher: What is "hard water"?
My mate: Ice, sir.
Technically correct, it is made of water and it is hard. Your mate is a genius
What is hard water then?
@@cassun603 It's water with a higher than normal mineral content, typically Calcium Carbonate. Hard water causes kettles, boilers and pipes to fur up with limescale.
Well...
Well yes, but actually no
I used to work with someone who thought that every country had its own individual sun and moon 😂
Wow! 😏
That can’t be true
PSA *used
Wow. Sounds like there is little hope for the human race as a whole, but almost certainly hope for the human race as a hole. That co-worker makes flat-earthers look smart by comparison.
Where the fuck did you work that someone that stupid got hired?
I had a mate who, upon hearing the news that the UK had voted itself out of the EU, asked the amazing question; 'Does that mean we're not a part of Europe anymore?'.
I genuinely thought he was joking and replied with; 'Nah, we're just going to raise anchor and let the mainland drift off into the Atlantic', and I shit you not he said 'Really!?' with the most concerned look on his face...
The fact that he suggested that the mainland would drift into the Atlantic rather than Britain tells me that he also doesn't know where Britain is on a map.
I had someone ask me if they would change the maps
Jacob Friedman Err, what? Mainland Britain sits right next to the North Atlantic?
@@_IHateHandles_ I know; if Britain were hanging onto to the mainland as said idiot surmised and was then detached, then Britain would float away, not the mainland
@@_IHateHandles_ Mainland Europe, that is; was that the confusion?
This comment section doesn't disappoint either
I paused the video to glance at the comments .... I'm still reading them and they are great. Love Greg Davies. PEACE to ALL ... and STAY SAFE and HEALTHY.
Omg right?! These comments are fantastic! 😂🤣
Once I made a comment in school during a lesson to two of my 6th grade (age 11-ish) students to the effect of “when I’m at work...” and one responded: “oh, where do you work?”
lowstringc Maybe they were more perceptive than you thought 😈
Excellent sarcasm if delivered correctly
J C - they were 100% serious. There is an interesting disconnect with children and teachers. Some of them, when they see me in public, they are surprised that I am a normal person (that I don’t solely exist at school), and since school is a part of their existence and a place that is waiting for them when they arrive, they often see us as citizens of that ‘world’ instead of workers at that job. This happens a lot to me, but that story is my favorite.
I'm a supply teacher and you wouldn't believe how many students (aged 11 - 16) ask if I'm paid to be there. No, I just enjoy waking up early and spending my days babysitting 30 teenagers at a time; I don't need to pay bills or rent or transport to get to school.
@@lowstringc Can totally back this up. I teach English in Japan and live in the same town I teach and kids look at me with bewilderment outside school and even ask me what I'm doing here.
I once had to explain to a thirty year old that february only has 28 days. He was 100% convinced I was trying to fool him and he wouldn't believe me.
February 29 with a leap year making twenty-nine.
I had a friend who said "Marvel.. Isn't that a character from Lord of the Rings or something?" and my brother's ex gf thought the moon and the sun were the same thing. Some people have weird gaps in their common knowledge
@@jonnnnniej I used to think you can't look at the solar eclipse directly because the brightness of both the sun and the moon together can blind you. I was about 6 years old though.
There are 28 days in all the months....some just have more
@@JC-sd3vh I clearly said "only 28" but whatever
Having sucked at math, my teacher once told me, "You should use a pocket calculator." To which I replied "I already know how many pockets I have!"
Well that's just comedy
R/thathappened
Sarcasm...😁😁😁😁
That wasn't stupid, that was comedy.
One of my old mates a few years ago thought animals had pockets of meat on them that we picked off to eat... when i explained we were eating the animals muscles and body he was mortified... he went vegan shortly after... this was when we were late 20s 😂
Reinventing the Steve dude, I was searching for this comment for almost a week, saw it in a meme on vegans. Wanted to ask you, was he American??? No offence.😂😂😂
Did he know the killing part or did he genuinely think they were like. Berries? And the pockets just grew back??
Lol
Parents who wanted to hide the truth?
It's barbaric and I have been vegan since the 1990s
I have a friend who works for a bank authorising business loans for hundreds of thousands, when we were at a casino at the roulette table he genuinely asked "Which ones are the odd numbers again?"
Your friend must live in my printer now because every time I tell it to print odd numbered pages it prints even numbered pages.
If it were a craps table, asking what are the odds is a legitimate question.
Maybe he was drunk?
@@paulryan9818 perfectly sober. That's the worrying thing.
Idk how casinos work but theres a thing where its red or black right? Maybe it was in referrence to that
Once had someone say to me that god is real because people say "oh my god".
I once had a 3-year-old say to me that" oh my gosh is a bad word" (yes he said word, of course he is only 3), him confusing it with " oh my god" and it being 3 separate words.
Did you not tell your friend that they should start saying “oh my million pounds in my bank account!”?
OH MY UNICORN
Airtight logic that. I see no problem here
@@christopherbradley7149 Do you really think that shit would work? I mean really?
I once said oh look the moon is lovely and clear this afternoon. The person I was with said "Wtf you mean? It's day time!" Refused to look at it because they were sure the Moon only came out at night and I was pranking them.
My brother had a gf, lovely girl, but one day my mom pointed at the moon during the day and you could visibly see her great confusion. She thought the moon and the sun were the same so being able to see them at the same time wa crazy to her. My mom paciently explained the basis of our solar system. She was 18 and her mind was blown
Wow, both of these stories are depressing 🤦♀️
One of my earliest memories of school was arguing with a teacher that you can sometimes see the moon during the day. I still don't understand why she wanted to have that argument with a five year old.
@@7r3v0r wait, your teacher thought that wasn't possible? How can someone get to be a teacher and don't have that basic knowledge?!
@@jonnnnniej I have no idea, it was my 'adults dont know everything' epithany and its wound me up ever since. According to these youtube comments its not even a rare thing.
You had me at, "I fuckin' hate children..."
On the other hand, you're so good with Little Alex Horne.
;'D Underrated comment, my friend!
I had to explain to someone last year (year 11 in England - so 16 years old) that Brexit was not in fact a person and hence not the Prime Minister!
Good lord...
Yeah, Brexit is a president, everybody knows that.
Nono, that's why Cameron resigned, lord Brexit took over. The reason it was a referendum for him was because he is the fundamental final form for downing street which is why he is so controversial
I mean... i used to think Asda was a person. But I was 6 or 7 at the time.
Yep and the left want 16 year olds to have the vote. 🙄
My mates Girlfriend thought North was whatever way you were facing.
Incredible!
@@29jgirl92 stone mad !
Isn't that a bit self centered?
LOL!
@@ankavoskuilen1725 hahaha
For his sake, I hope she was pretty
I had to explain a girl in my class (year 10) that Great Britain isn't the capital of the U.S. just because both countries have English as their first language:)
You mean year 10 as in she's ten years old, right?
Right?
@@adjectivenoun5052 usually people in year ten are fifteen, sixteen or even seventeen years old
That's why it's so strange😅
@@tomvanwaveren4865 Actually I'm German :) Our English book had a map of all the countries with English as their first language and since both Ameria and GB were coloured red (as well as Australia, Canada, etc. ) she just assumed that there must be another connection between those two. Don't ask why :D
Well we are really. It’s just they are a bunch of traitors. 🤣🤣🤣
My freind once asked me if chikens lay hard or softboiled eggs...
Ask them which came first, the chicken or the egg? Their head will explode.
Only on Big Rock Candy Mountain...
That depends on if you boil the hen before she lays the egg or not. 😈
Raw chicken, raw egg. Easy.
Oml i wondered that too as a child but apparently they lay goose eggs
Had an argument with a teacher once that said a bottle of vodka that was 40% alcohol would contain vodka that was only 20% alcohol if it was half empty.... Hilarious until you remember these people are in charge of educating others and their votes count the same as mine or yours...
I'm genuinely curious how that conversation got started
They are right though
@@FlimsyOctopus Only if water was put in to replace the content taken out
Zarkow Still half full with air
@@FlimsyOctopus Do you generally drink the air? And when you open to poor into a glass, does the liquid then get termed 0.00001% alcohol, since there is so much air in your house?(Hint: The OP talked about the vodka, not the 'content of the bottle'. Learn the difference.)
I’ve got to admit that at a Christmas dinner I let my whole family know that I also thought that a turkey was a male chicken. And they still haven’t forgotten about it.
Oops, happens, it's just irritating when people don't admit their mistakes.
I can see how you would think that.
Shoutout to a lad named Dean from my Welsh school who didn't do so well in his CSE English exam. The essay subject was to write about Wales. He did the whole essay about the giant creatures who live in the ocean, spelling it 'wales' every time.
Cymru am byth.. Whales for ever !
I had a manager in a cafe ask me once, “celsius is for cold things and fahrenheit is for hot things, right?” Her hand written signs were riddled with spelling errors too. She once misspelled dragon as dragan.
That's kind of true in the UK! -2C is cold, 85F is hot :)
@@simonsackett Parts of Canada do that too. Anything negative or single digits in Celsius is described in Celsius, but as soon as you hit the teens, we convert it to Fahrenheit for some reason. The majority of my friends have their house thermostats set in F.
So is anyone else curious why a cafe had to write the word dragon for something. I’m guessing it has to do with tea but truly I have no idea
Honestly you really shouldn’t judge how intelligent a person is by how good or bad they are at spelling, she might have had dyslexia.
Are you sure she hadn't simply written the name of some Serbian bloke and the problem wasn't the spelling but the lack of capitalisation?
A friend's boss asked her the following once: "If an English couple adopted a Chinese baby will it have a Chinese accent growing up?" I've never been so speechless.
Sounds like Catherine Tate’s Elaine when she’s looking for a suitable sperm donor.
Even worse if they're raised in the UK.
We had a student come to our school on the US who was Korean born English Language Learner. Her accent was profoundly British and she used their colloquialisms. She moved there at 8 yrs.
ELLs that come to the USA are taught formal English but are not discouraged to use their native accents.
This is one of the most entertaining comment sections I've read in a long time
I'm a Radiographer and my colleague told a junior Dr that we couldn't do any xrays or scans because we run out of radiation, he looks at me at me and said" What are we going to do? patients needs their scans. My colleague responded " Dont worry we are just waiting for a delivery we be up and running pretty soon. Dr walks down the hospital corridor and then stops and turns to look at us, then continue walking. We never laughed so much.
My dad was a science teacher and I remember telling him that the guy I had just broken up with was now dating a radiographer. Without missing a beat he said, "Well she'll see through him if no-one else does." I miss you, pa.
@@tomsdottir That's such a good joke.
after this I am imagining a fly flying around my room just shouting "BZZZZ BZZZZ!"
In highschool I went to London with my classroom and one of my classmates (a girl) was surprised that women in a foreign country had their periods too...
My sixth form chemistry teacher confessed to us that, until her university days, she thought that cauliflower was just what happens to broccoli when you cook it.
To be fair, they are the same plant.
My green eyed, light brown haired cousin had a high school class mate spot her long french surname for the first time, gasp, and sincerely ask "woah! Are you....Japanese?"
I think Japanese people can also have light brown hair and green eyes but I see what you’re trying to say
@@WixkedLovy No. No, they cannot. If they're purely Japanese with no other race mixed in, it is fundamentally impossible for a Japanese person to be anything other than black-haired. If you find a Japanese person with non-black hair, it is either because one of their, not so far-removed, ancestors was non-Japanese, or they coloured their hair.
DraculaCronqvist
I don’t know if this comment is racist or just a joke
@@WixkedLovy No, it's not racist. It's genetics. That has nothing to do with racism. Nothing in my comment said anything about the worthiness of one race of the other. That you wish to equate this to racism marks you as the racist here. You made it about race, when it never was. It was a question of genetics. You just played yourself.
DraculaCronqvist
It seemed racist because you assumed all Japanese people are born with black hair even though being born with black hair is pretty rare, no matter what race you are.
I had a few friends in GCSE French who went to Disneyland, and when I asked one how their weekend in France had been, he replied: “We weren’t in France, we was in Paris!”
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
And, technically, she wasn't even in Paris -- Disneyland Paris is in Chessy.
Two of my favourite comments from kids I teach:
"Are there two suns? Cause the sun on holiday is hotter"
"I thought Macbeth was a girl cause her names Beth"
The first one is actually not a bad question. That's a very keen observation. 🤔
If you teach primary school, the first is actually an interesting question derived from observation. Then the second indicates you at least teach secondary school or older unless they've started the Shakespeare much earlier than in my day.
My Year 12 Geog class was a goldmine of stupidity - as in, I sat next to a dude who thought Canadians spoke Canadian *stupidity*. But the cherry on the cake was this one girl who was as thick as a breadstick. Out of the blue, she asks, "If there are no trees in Antarctica, how do you breathe there?" and our teacher was speechless.
Canadians speak canadian english, or as it's more commonly know English (Apologetic)
England: English (Tradtitional)
Canada: English (Apologetic)
Scotland: English (Incomprehensible)
Ireland: English (Drunk)
Democratic USA: English (Simplified)
Republican USA: English (Simplified Racist)
She's not that stupid. Trees photosynthesise
@@annamcguirk4479 yes, that's why all people spend their lives chained to trees, because oxygen, like, falls down their throats from the leaves. It's common knowledge. Also the reason you can't breathe at home, 'cause no trees there.
I once worked a warehouse that had like 200 employees and a huge turn over of staff, so I got to meet a loooooooot of people with, interesting levels of knowledge.
I was able to let slide the guy who couldn't grasp that Brazilians speak Portuguese, but there was one dude who was fully convinced Ostriches were extinct. He wasn't mixing them up with another animal, he didn't think it was a type of dinosaur (though I suppose they are in a way), he was just utterly convinced they all died off years ago. I think he quit shortly after that.
@@inventor121 “poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids”-a certain democrat.
One again education and intelligence are two totally different things
True, I find that it's my University educated friends who tend to fall for those dumb scams on Facebook.
I would say there is a bit of overlap
There is some correlation between education and intelligence. The problem is some people don't question their thinking because of their education credentials.
The ability to speak doesn't make you intelligent
Once a teacher, always a teacher. Still using PowerPoint. Still illustrating a point with quotes. Readily uses comedy to engage his "class" and establish relationship with them. If your former student was accurate in any way, I'd like to congratulate you on your growth and improvement as a teacher since that time, Sir. Millllllllllll-ky Cow.
I had an English teacher that was giving us our spelling test and pronounced "hoop" as "hop" but with the 'O' stretched out. When we asked if she meant to say "hoop", she said "don't question your teacher, you should know these words if you studied"
You should have bust out a dictionary and pointed at the phonetic spelling.
I had a similar experience. My teacher insisted I sound out the word “dunkey“ despite letting her know that it wasn’t a real word. The only test I ever got a word wrong on.
Australian kid, moved to USA for Dad’s work... First day in Southern American school... Class teacher asks, “Is Australia in upstate New York?”
Very glad when family returned to Melbourne... until writing a story about Sydney’s Circular Quay, which teacher crossed out in red and corrected with ‘key’...
I eventually became a teacher, but I couldn’t hack the other teachers.
I moved from the state of New Hampshire to the state of Missouri, my first day of class I was asked where I was from and I said New Hampshire and then I was asked which country that is in! I also lived in the Netherlands for a bit and my teacher there told me there are 52 states in the USA, when I corrected her that there are 50, she got very upset with me.
@Mia Smith I'd agree with you about the being embarrassed but she was also a very antagonistic teacher towards us students. That was just one example. I just wanted to point out that I've had both American teachers and European teachers that have been wrong about "obvious" facts. It's easy for a thread to start shitting on the education system of one country or another and not just realize teachers everywhere are humans and can be very wrong about things.
I‘m from Austria. Not Australia. The amount of Americans who‘ve asked me about my experience with Kangaroos is not even funny
So you sucked at teaching and you thought this was the time to criticize other teachers?
Awesome
I had a high school English teacher who insisted that the post nuclear apocalypse science fiction novel by John Wyndham we were reading was set in the 18th century because they didn't have modern technology. I tried to ask why then the whole thing was centred around there having been a nuclear holocaust and why there were all those references to people in the past having helicopters but she just looked at me blankly and repeated that it was set in the 18th century.
Most of my teachers were intelligent though.
The Chrysalids? was the first book i ever read when i was like 4.
His science teacher friend (the basketball one) obviously just subscribes to the Lamarckian theory of evolution
I was thinking that too!
That always made me laugh in school.
Natural evolution ain't got nothing on... stretching.
I was thinking that, too! 😂
I had a friend in his 20s who'd thought that when people are asleep, their eyeballs turn upside down.
a friend of mine thought the same, I think it's quite common to think they roll back
@@StuffLikeJuda I'm sure it's common in Amsterdam, if you'll pardon the remark, unluckily for the said friend he was sober and in Bohemia when he said it, in front of a notably large crowd. :)
I was today years old when I realised eyeballs don't turn upside down when people sleep 😳😬
When I was younger I thought when we sleep we stop like breathing and exhaling air 😂
Up until a few years ago, I thought the same... but that is because that’s what I was taught at the time 🤷♀️ Not ma fault
Met a girl at uni who was studying to be a teacher that legitimately thought the moon was the back of the sun.
Did she never notice the sun and moon in the sky at the same time??
@@heatherduke7703 Lots of people genuinely don't.
My friend once said to me, in the most sincere voice I have heard come from his mouth, "Finland man, it's like the Finland of Europe"
How's Spicoli doing these days?
That sounds like something Arin Hanson would say.
Tbh they are not wrong.
It literally is the Finland of Europe.
But was he wrong, though
four very serious words: "Are humans wet inside?"
well, I would say no if you mean as in water outside the veins and in between the muscels and bones...but our cells contain water so... (I don't know how to explain it in english)
@@paulihhh2042 Well we are wet inside, if you've butchered any animal you'll know that it's not dry when you get your hands in there.
@@CharlesHolmesTalk mmh yes when I think about it now it would make sense. It's the cells that contain the water👍🏻
@@paulihhh2042 There's fluid in between the cells too. Search term is "extracellular fluid" if you want to read up
That’s actually an interesting question though, that curiosity should be encouraged
UK: Around the time the song was popular I overheard two teen girls in a bookshop with a cities-of-Europe maps section say
"Oh my gosh Budapest is a real place!"
"What he didn't make it up for the song?!" !!!!!!
I had a coworker ask if penguins actually counted as birds since they don't have feathers.
I had a friend like that too. She didn't believe of and has now convinced herself I was the one who thought penguins had on feathers
@@thejazzy6012 I just didnt picture myself explaining to an adult human that penguins indeed have feathers.
@@thejazzy6012 Please re-read your comment - the typo is hilarious. I know you mean 'no' but mistyping 'on' perfectly flips the meaning.
they do tho 👀
@@Apostate_ofmind yeah man, that's why it was a wild thing for an adult to ask.
I had to explain to a colleague that even when you can't see the moon in the sky, it's still there. And my best friend didn't know that ducks could fly.
ducks can fly??
I watched two Glasgow University students looking at an old black and white picture, one said "you tell thats from the 1980s as its in black and white".
The thing is, colour was mainly used in the 70s, so ignoring his logic, he'd still be wrong.
I once had to correct my older brother who was in his last year of high school when he said the time zone we live in is counter clockwise
A friend of mine thought Mario was Mexican, not Italian. He went up to random students asking which was it, and no matter how many said Italian he wouldn't accept it
My SISTER called me swearing to Jesus she had all the symptoms of prostate cancer! 🙄
I'm gonna sound super dumb, but whats prostate cancer and why can't girls get it? Sorry, I'm still in middle school I promise I'm not an actual idiot
@@genericusername1566 Mama Google will explain it all when it's the right time.
@@wayneessar7489 ......... its gor something to do with butts, hasnt it
@@genericusername1566 And deeper! 😅
@@wayneessar7489 I JUST GOOGLED IT WHY WOULD YOU LET ME GOOGLE IT
Nearly got a detention from an high-school English teacher who was mad that I corrected him about the capital of Alaska not being Anchorage.
He wanted the class to name as many states and capitals as individuals to show we had more intelligence together than separately. I listed all 50 states and capitals, (Thanks, Animaniacs) and he was trying to show how wrong I was and that no one person could know them all, so he announced that my list was wrong as I had put Juneau as Alaska's capital.
Had a mouth-breather for a classmate in high school. He said word for word as follows: “We don’t need to breathe right? We don’t breathe when we eat.” Man must have taken “inhaling your food” as a literal statement.
Man, that reminds me of a kid who bullied me in grade 2 accusing me of fake crying because "you don't breathe when you cry"
I had an English teacher in high school who attempted to relate every book we read to nuclear war... the first book we covered? Huckleberry Finn...
Dat truck dah is TRASH; en trash is what people is dat puts dirt on de head er dey fren's en makes 'em ashamed." Dey be mo' 'shamed if dey nuke sum body. Dat's da troof, chile...
@@pistonar Ha ha ha!
I mean it's got an N bomb it
Isn't it obvious that Huckleberry Finn was the president of China?
A mate of mine asked me the other day “ can you catch corona virus’s down the phone”
my mom told me someone we know warned her not to get the Corona vaccine cuz if you do Microsoft will stick a chip in you; my mom had to explain that's not how vaccines OR syringes work
@@CorvusCorone68 that comes from the idiots that believe Bill Gates, and now Dr. Fauci created Cornavirus, so they can supply the vaccines and track you through the chips. People are fucking stupid.
@@lobitome Only recently found out my sister's dad also thinks this... Absolutely Fucking Hilarious..
@@lobitome I'll have you know, after having my second dose of the vaccine I've have an odd urge to purchase Microsoft products. It's weird!
I once had someone asking me which day is the Purge day in America and England?
They thought that the movie was a documentary.🤯
Jesus!
Me and my dad argued over the pronunciation of the word Jalepeño, he pronounced it "Jallo-Peeno". When I corrected him on it he looked me in the eyes and said "What are you saying it in a spanish accent for?"
His rage over the quotes had me om a stitches
My HISTORY teacher thought the fourth of July was celebrating native Americans and people believed her. I have honestly never been so confused or concerned in my entire life
At least its a nice sentiment. :D
Maybe she needs to have a propaganda at a history book
Either in the south or this belongs on r/thathappened
I think we were told that, too, at some point in school.
Okay, nope, we were not told that, we were told that thanksgiving was celebrating Native Americans, I just confused the dates right now.
The fly bit was so well executed, also because Greg was actually out of breath when he landed on the stool.
I had to explain to half the people in my school class that Islam is indeed not a race. I wish I was joking. HALF of my entire class.
Were these kids just dumb or were their parents terribly islamophobic and passed it down to them?
'Get this Islamic guy/chick a cell with the other Islamists!'
I'm English but live in France and a friend of mine has a son who is in his last year of high school.
He was doing a presentation on inspirational historical figures for English language.
He got marked down because he wrote about President Abraham Lincoln not Emperor Abraham Lincoln.
His teacher was having absolutely none of it and refused to change his grade 🤦🏻♀️
I'll take "Des trucs qui sont absolument jamais arrivés" for 3€50, please.
As someone who is training to be a teacher, this is simultaneously depressing and absolutely hilarious.
I love that video games like Minecraft choose to be realistic and educational. I was playing a quiz game when I was 9, and a question was what a smelted bar of metal is called, and thanks to Minecraft, I knew it was called an ingot.
I also once saw a 14 y/o girl get up in front of our class and try to convince us that north was straight up because a map on the wall had north pointing skywards.
He must’ve loved his role in the inbetweeners, because I get the impression he pretty much said all the stuff he wanted to say at school but couldn’t. Suddenly he got the opportunity to be as rude as he liked when the shackles got removed.
My favourite giant
I love him. Ever since that mother's knickers story in Graham Norton, he stole my heart.
How big is he?
that_G_EvanP 6”8
@@MrEazyE357 He's almost 7 feet tall and I so want to meet him just to gaze up at him from almost two feet below. 😂
I had a student ask me which direction water flowed in rivers....they seemed surprised when I replied 'down hill'.
We also persuaded a bunch of geology undergrads that originally all the state lines in the USA were straight but then plate tectonics has made them wiggly.
Then another student was surprised when I mentioned the age of the Earth and they said 'but I thought it was 2018'. The same student thought Van Gogh had died of abstinence and wasn't sure why bees visited flowers (they were 17 at the time)
I once persuaded a friend in highschool that before strategic bombers were developded the military used to fling atomic bombs with huge slingshots.
Thats not even funny… thats just sad
I *am* a teacher and for the longest time believed that the word affable was in fact 'f-able' (as in the f-word), so if you called someone 'f-able' you basically meant to say that you'd give 'em a go.
"Mr. Kaplan is such an affable man!"
For the sake of your pupil. Quit your job.
@@diaboliquedia4300 It's remarkable how hostile people in this comment section are towards teachers. Yeah, dude, we make mistakes, bigsurprise. But I didn't end up in this work because I had no alternatives. In fact, I gave up a pretty cushy job to turn to teaching, in spite of the stress the long hours and the shitty pay, because I actually give a crap about what happens to these kids.
And I didn't quit my job when a kid in my class died of leukemia, or when a sixteen year old girl told me she was pregnant from her dad, or when a parent threatened to come to my house if I didn't start giving his precious son better grades. So no, I will certainly not quit my job because some person on youtube doesn't have a sense of humor.
@@cyprel So now you're saying that you were joking and you actually knew what affable means the whole time?
@@diaboliquedia4300 Er, no. At no point did I imply that I was joking.. Don't know where you would have gotten that idea. Comprehensive reading; a lot of my students struggle with it, too. Oh, here's another one for you: for a long time, I believed that the earth was round. Turns out it was flat all along! Whadduya know.
I mean, it's very close to effable
I was once berated my my teacher for correctly spelling “chemical”. He refused to admit it was spelt that way. “What the hell is a ‘shemical’!?” he laughed. He’s dead now but I still shake my head and laugh remembering that fool.
"He's dead now"
I once loudly said in an a level English language lesson "Woah, titanic is just gigantic with a T". I never wanted to spontaneously combust more than that moment
"Behold, the unsinkable ship _The Tigantic_ " Why yes, I can imagine you wanting the ground to swallow you whole
Well, if you take out the two g's and replace them with t's, then take out the last t ...
I worked with a woman who said Greg was her teacher. She said he would always say things like "I wont teach children forever, Ill be famous one day" I like to think she was telling the truth. The boot absolutely fits.
Watch the whole "you magnificent beast" when your able to. Greg Davies is brilliant in his stand-up routine. Thoroughly recommended!
YEAAHHHH I’M A FLY
One of my teachers, geography I think, thought it was the weight of the air above your head that holds you on the ground.
Well now I just want to know what they thought about why air had "weight" since they clearly forgot GRAVITY was a thing.....
@@finalfiend335 I don't think you grasp the gravity of their insinuation
I think that's what flat earthers think too (they can't believe in gravity because a flat Earth doesn't have enough mass)
If that were true, then when low pressure systems came through your neighbourhood literally every human would be flying around in the air like leaves
My college Spanish teacher had a student ask her why Spanish people laugh "Ja-ja-ja." Our textbooks had short comic strips, and in Spanish the "J" makes the "H" sound.
She started laughing until she realized he was serious.
I once received a graded test back on which my teacher had written, next to a correct answer: "This is correct but everyone else got it wrong and the majority wins, so -2 points."
That's be really funny as a joke, but if she's serious...
Ah, my friend thought that trees created wind (because of them blowing around). And even after arguing against this, I still don’t think she was convinced otherwise.
I thought that as a child.
I got into an actual argument with my mom over whether or not milk is a liquid
you don't know how badly I wish I was making that up...
So, did you mum think it was solid or a gas?
Mention Honey the next time, that it's always a funny debatr
Oh god, i badly wish you were making that up
I’m a teacher assistant so naturally I don’t tell teachers what to do nor do I correct them... But when a child asked what Scandinavia is and their social studies teacher said it’s a country I wanted to correct her so badly. I was shocked
My grandma once wrote on my dad’s birthday card “no one like you” and we all remind him of that whenever he needs motivation
You reminded me of the time I gave my dad a Father's Day card which read "You're like a father to me".
I could honestly hear that guy saying “oh I thought that sound came out of their mouths” in complete sarcasm 🤷🏼♂️
That magnificent beast...
We had finished our ww2 module during history, one of the girls in my class said "so why does everyone hate hitler?"
I used to think flys made that noise with their wings.
Now I choose to believe they make it with their mouths.
At my old job my then manager was telling me that he once asked one of the other lads to go and get a bucket of steam. Apparently he tried for 10 mins then came back saying it was too hard because the steam wouldn't stay inside the bucket.
Oh and this is the same guy that was told Kevin Bacon was coming in to inspect the work and then he thanked for the heads up.
Not very bright. He should've come back 10 hours later with a single water drop in the bucket and say, "It condensed."
other lad? this was you wasnt it?...
Someone in my class once raised their hand in a lesson on Nazi Germany and legitimately asked if "Hitler and the Nazis were made up to make history interesting"
in their idiot defence history can be boring af
Sounds like they may have had holocaust denier parents tbh