What Paris Hilton and Chrissy Teigen Get Wrong About Motherhood | The Lila Rose Podcast E75
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ค. 2024
- Today I give my thoughts on some recent happenings in pop culture surrounding motherhood: Paris Hilton’s choice to have her children via surrogacy out of fear and convenience and Chrissy Teigen’s ignorant promotion of the idea that having an abortion is the same as having a miscarriage.
Today's Sponsors are:
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Seven Weeks Coffee: www.sevenweekscoffee.com Buy your pro-life coffee with a 10% discount using the code LILA!
EveryLife: www.everylife.com Buy diapers from an amazing pro-life diaper company and use code LILA and get 10% off!
Timestamps:
00:00 Into Sequence
00:27 A Few Updates
04:07 Live Action Shout Out
04:54 Good Ranchers
05:39 Fundamental View that Life is Precious
08:00 Paris Hilton and Surrogacy
11:40 Sofía Vergara Lawsuit Example
13:35 IVF Calculation of Life
14:59 Seven Weeks Coffee
15:42 Bond Between Mother and Unborn Baby
18:53 Why Paris Chose Surrogacy
21:00 Summary on Surrogacy and IVF
22:44 Surrogate in California Forced to Abort
26:20 EveryLife
27:04 Chrissy Teigen on Abortion and Miscarriage
32:11 Difference Between Abortion and Miscarriage
33:11 Wrap Up
I had a horrific miscarriage. In a matter of seconds I said hello and goodbye to my beloved child. Years later my heart and soul still ache for my child. You can not compare that to a termination.
I had a 5.5 week miscarriage and it was unexpectedly horrific… so intense, just like labor, but so bloody, traumatic, and surrounded in this feeling of death rather than the anticipation of holding and loving on your living baby.
I’m 5 years post miscarriage, have had one baby since then and pregnant with another… and am still traumatized by that loss - it’s still so intense and real in my heart. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like if I had chosen that path 😞
All miscarriages and stillbirths are horrific. The fact that anyone equates CHOOSING to kill their little one to loosing that little one through no fault of their own is evil to me. To me, it’s like saying that mommy murderers are just as much victims as mothers who lose their children to illness or tragic accident.
I’m sorry for your loss. And sorry these demons keep adding insult to injury by comparing their murderous deeds to our tragedies 😞
@@Me-hf4ii I am deeply sorry for your loss darling. I’ve had 2 babies since my loss. I won’t say it gets easier but I can promise that carrying for your babies slowly heals your broken heart. I can’t judge other women for their choices (that’s Gods job) but I find a lot of pro choice discussions to be distasteful. I can’t stomach hearing people brag about the “right” to kill kids. I’ve heard some argue you should allowed termination up to 40 weeks. My second child was born at 37 weeks. She wasn’t an inconvenience, she wasn’t a clump of cells. She was a 9 pound miracle that blessed our family.
I am so so sorry for your loss.
Iv had 4 recurrent miscarriages in a row this year and we long for another baby.
No matter the weeks, months it’s still life and the pain, trauma and surgeries involved are very much raw and real.
These seasons need to be respected and call them for what they truly are.
🛐🛐🫂🫂
Mother of 4 children here living in Texas. We lost #3 in July with a missed miscarriage. I had to have a D&C because baby was dead and no heartbeat for 3 weeks and my body wouldn’t miscarry. I know I didn’t have an abortion, and anybody who tries to justify a D&C with a living child conflates with my D&C, we are clearly not the same. I’m pregnant with #4, I have one saint in Heaven against my wishes unlike the mothers and abortionists who have murdered the babies. We are not the same.
For those of us like myself, who have suffered miscarriages, know better. A miscarriage is definitely not an abortion. Abortion is when the baby is killed and forcefully removed from the womb. A miscarriage is not forcefully removed and the mother goes through a lot of emotional turmoil during a miscarriage.
I agree. They can't be compared. But girls who don't know what an abortion is will later be dealing with a lot of stuff.
Respectfully, that's not the definition and miscarriage is not a medical term. A miscarriage used to be called an "abort" (short for "abortion" when all abortions were miscarriages). It is medically referred to as a "spontaneous abortion" as we do now have to differentiate between a spontaneous vs medically induced /surgical abortion. Point blank. That's what it is.
@@theLionandtheLamb1 That is why it is called a spontaneous abortion as opposed to a medically induced or surgical abortion. The Supreme Court has literally had to strike down laws that would criminalize all of it regardless of the cause. We are seeing laws already cause issues for mothers and babies because docs aren't even always free to do what will give both parties their best shot.
Again, if a doctor gives you meds to induce labor and that baby dies due to prematurity, that is a medically induced abortion even if it was that baby's best shot at surviving. The reasoning for the procedure does j9t change what the procedure is.
And I really have had enough of then pro life movement and how they consistently oppose the things that are actually proven to lower abortion rates and instead choose to go after extreme policies or cheer when SCotUS rules that the Constitution provides no right to medical privacy at all right after throwing a fit that they had a right to refuse a vaccine.
@@elizabethvinson3867 Thanks for this explanation, because I was going to make a similar argument in explaining the term, “abortion” is medical speak.
Do some research. Miscarriages are called spontaneous abortions.
Unlike an abortion, I had no say in my miscarriage, if it were my choice, I would have a beautiful 18 month old right now.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your little one
Not the same
Sorry for your loss, I believe your little one is eagerly awaiting you in heaven ❤
Sorry for your loss dear
I am 18 and really hope to start a family in my early-mid 20s and Lila you’ve taught me so much about motherhood and kids in general!! I always knew i wanted to be a young mom, especially since my father and little brother died when i was a kid(brother even before i was born) so the idea of having a son maybe that i can name after my father or brother(obviously i would love a daughter too, any kid is amaaaaazing)is my biggest wish!!
Your dedication to motherhood, especially at such a young age, is a cause for hope. Thank you for sharing your wholesome ambition. It is a welcome change of pace from the superficial aspirations that consumes so many young men and women today.
@@alphacause Thank you so much!! I live in an Orthodox, Balkan country so my people are very family-oriented. I literally can’t wait to be a mom, it truly is my biggest wish!!
That would be so sweet to name your future children in honor of your father/brother. I wouldn't put too much pressure to have a kid at a certain age either...whether it happens at 20, 25, or 30...it's a beautiful thing to embrace. I wish I would have realized the beauty of motherhood when I was younger!
I'm a new mom at 22 and I absolutely love it. My husband and I are in love with our little girl. Keep hoping for motherhood, there is nothing like it:)
I love reading comments like yours. It gives me hope for the future of this planet.
Chrissy Teagan is an awful person. She has been horrible this whole time. From bullying children to sxually preying on them. Noone should ever give her attention.
She should be in prison.
Seriously?! I thought her and John legend were a really good couple
@@beliciamathias a simple Google search will reveal a lot to you.
Yes! Finally someone knows the disgusting truth of Chrissy and John
@@beliciamathiasshe bullied an underage girl whom was groomed and was married off when she was 16 to a 40 yr old. Chrissy also told her to k¡ll herself.
Chrissy Teigen's propaganda was so sickening to watch. Just blatantly lying about the care she would have received EVEN WHEN elective abortion is illegal. It's nuts that she can simultaneously grieve the death of her son and then suggest that it's a tragedy that other mothers can't intentionally kill their sons...even when their death is entirely preventable. Misleading and shameful to conflate the two.
Ugh I’ve lost 2 babies. My girl at 19 weeks in 2021 and my boy at 25 weeks last July. The losses are so incredibly painful and my desire to be a mum despite my losses and pain is ever more prevalent. Every second I had with them was a gift. What my body has been through I’d go through much more to have my baby alive breathing and healthy with me. I’d sacrifice so much because I know after so much loss how wonderful and valuable a baby is. So it really really irks me to hear people not know how precious and valuable they are. Or not realize how lucky they are to have there babies. And then be so casual about such important matters, my husband and I come from abusive backgrounds and were in foster care. We would never dare treat it so casually. The fact that my babies literally will be with me for life is a comfort, thanks for that fact.
Watching this while 24 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, I can’t imagine hurting my child. Very sad…how can a mother who can feel her baby moving be able to go through with that? Lord help us…
Sending you positive vibes and blessings over your little one! My son was born at 23 weeks in April and he is doing absolutely phenomenal, I can’t imagine it either.. Congratulations again on your new baby boy ❤
Chrissy Teigen calling a miscarriage an abortion is about as idiotic and morally tone deaf as saying that someone who died of a heart attack was murdered. A miscarriage is a tragic medical mishap and not an intentional act to deprive someone of life. It is interesting that, despite California being a pro-abortion state, its penal code (187) states that if someone willfully causes the death of a fetus (aside from the mother and the abortionist doctor), that is considered murder. So if you go up to a woman, and stab her womb, killing the unborn child, you are guilty of murder, even if the mother lives.
You are truly just a bra/n-dead follower. Just because some random girl on TH-cam blabbering her opinion doesn't make it a fact. A spontaneous abortion is a medical term for a miscarriage. That is what Chrissy meant. Early pregnancy loss is generally defined as a spontaneous pregnancy loss before 10 to 13 weeks of gestational age. That's a spontaneous abortion.
That woman is a child predator, so feel free to disregard her.
I’m a physician and just want to clarify that what happened to Chrissy Teigan is considered a spontaneous abortion in medicine - which is the natural loss of a fetus before 20 weeks. The natural loss of a fetus after 20 weeks is considered a still birth. The term miscarriage doesn’t exist - there’s spontaneous abortion, still birth, or induced abortion.
I think we should give Chrissy a bit of grace: she’s not an idiot. It would be super confusing for a doctor to tell her she had an abortion. Although technically correct based on medical lingo - it’s extremely confusing to use that term.
It’s easy to assume her agenda was to get attention or attach herself to a cause. But I genuinely believe that a doctor probably told her that (it’s 100 percent written all over her chart), and how is she to decipher what that means? She knows she didn’t have an induced abortion. But the doctor said she had an abortion - and she herself sounds confused trying to understand where she fits into that equation.
When we speak about abortion in the legal sense - we are only speaking about induced abortion. But. Medically speaking, abortion in a broad sense is both induced and spontaneous.
Ever look at a pregnant woman’s chart? Gravida is the number of times a patient has been pregnant. Para is the number of times a patient has given birth. Abortus describes the number of times a pregnancy ended - and that includes spontaneous and induced. So it’ll say, for instance:
35 year old female, G2P1A1-spontaneous, which means, a woman who has been pregnant twice, carried one child to term, and had one spontaneous abortion.
Clarification part two: I looked up the details of what happened to Chrissy. Before I dive in, i should clarify I am a devout Catholic ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️ I agree with you Lila on 99.9 percent of your podcast topics. The one you did on IVF with Katy Faust was amazing.
And I do agree there is misinformation in what Chrissy is saying.
But I don’t think she’s to blame for that.
Here’s why:
At 20 weeks Chrissy had placenta abruto, which is a spontaneous abortion (or a miscarriage, using non medical lingo). They gave her misoprostol and mifepristone, which are the meds women are given to induce an abortion (a medical abortion/non natural abortion). But in Chrissy’s case, someone who is already miscarrying is given these meds to prevent retention of the placenta (which would result in sepsis and cause her to die). They don’t need to induce an abortion because a spontaneous abortion is already happening.
An incomplete “miscarriage”- where a woman is left with retained placenta in her uterus is extremely dangerous. Most women who miscarry show up to emerg and are sent home to complete the miscarriage over the course of a few days. But that’s not the case when you have placenta abruto. “Waiting out the miscarriage”, I.e letting it happen on its own, would have killed her.
Losing a baby at 20 weeks is extremely traumatizing. Keeping mom calm while delivering baby is extremely important. She’s at risk of hemorrhaging out. Or having a stroke. Or worse, death. There’s absolutely no way would have been told the exact details of what was happening. The fact that Jon told her she had an abortion also makes perfect sense. This is because it’s highly unlikely Chrissy was the one who gave consent. Likely it was him. She’d have been given meds to bring down her heart rate. She may have been bleeding out. Her blood pressure was likely dropping. It’s unlikely she had capacity to consent. As her husband, Jon did.
It’s likely the doctor told Jon , “your son has died in her womb” or “he has zero chance of surviving, we need to deliver him now or your wife will die, too.” That’s why Jon and Chrissy have different accounts of the matter. The experience for both of them was different and traumatizing for different reasons. All Chrissy knew, was, “I’m in danger - something is wrong, they need to act.” Her trauma stems from not understanding or knowing the details. It’s hard to process something you can’t remember or a decision that was made when you didn’t have the capacity to consent.
For Jon, he was given the “make a decision now or both will die” talk. This does feel like an abortion for him. He does feel as though he killed his child. This of course is not true. There really was no choice to be made. But that’s not how his brain understands it. And that, in a nutshell, is trauma.
Please understand that I’m not embellishing or assuming what happened. I can piece together the information because I’ve been part of the team managing placenta abruto and there’s really only one way out. There isn’t any other thing that can happen behind those curtains. Chrissy is right. It happens so fast. It’s commotion in the room. Alarms are sounding, lights are flashing. Dad is pulled to the side and told to make a decision. Mom is lucid because her blood pressure is tanking. When one mom did, I heard a man weep a kind of sorrow that pierced my soul. It’s a sound I will never forget. It was a room flooded with grief and heartache. I don’t know exactly what happened in the room with Chrissy and Jon, but I can say with certainty that Jack wasn’t the only person who died that day; a piece of Chrissy and Jon did as well.
Ultimately, both of these grieving parents are still trying to make sense of what happened. It’s very clear in her voice. She doesn’t understand and it’s unlikely someone sat down and explained the jargon details.
And really - it isn’t jargon that will help her heal. She doesn’t need medical jargon. She needs prayer, and time, and they need each other. She needs us to give her grace.
Jon and Chrissy are going to have conversations about the event for the rest of their life. They aren’t going to be accurate all the time, or even most of the time. And that’s okay. That’s healing. Bit by bit. One convo at a time.
Let them uncover what happened, and process the situation the way they need to process it. Every parent who has lost a child deserves that space.
With love, ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
xoxox
Zoe Read (Lila Rose fan for life! Xox)
Thank you for your information Zoe. My mum and Dad lost my twin brothers before I was born. One had died in her womb. She had an emergency termination in her parents' front room. After the procedure the Dr told my mother to dispose of the foetuses down the toilet. She looked at them and saw one was moving. I think about her in that bathroom with her babies in a bowl and the suffering she went through all of her life. She was so young when they died, so she carried a massive cross all her life. She never forgot her boys and struggled with guilt and emotional pain. She was wounded. But she never lost her faith and always had a picture of Mary and baby Jesus in the corner of the room. I think she suffered like Mary. I blamed that Dr for years and was very angry at him. What you have written here has made me think that perhaps he was trying to save my mum's life and a difficult choice to make. I was not Catholic when my mother died. I remember that she had extreme unction on her death bed and no one knew who called the Priest. She died peacefully after that blessing. Then 6 months after her death my husband and myself both had a massive conversion and entered the church the following year. I found a very small Sacred Heart prayer card in her purse, a prayer praying for a happy death, which was granted to her. I also found a St Pio prayer card, and all these years later we now look after a first class relic of St Pio for a Priest friend. God bless you in your work Zoe, it's a hard job. Will pray for you 🙏🙏
@annedavies2885
Anne, I’m so sorry your mother had to go through that. What a life altering experience.
I do think doctors can do a much better job at communicating the details to women who have lost a child. Otherwise, they are left in the dark. Without the story, they can’t heal - and they are stuck in limbo expected to piece together their trauma without the facts. It’s not a fare fight. It leaves a lot of women in prolonged grief - some for the rest of their lives.
It’s beautiful that your mother was able to make sense of her suffering through her Catholic faith. I think Mary offers so much guidance through our suffering. I’m glad your mom was able to find peace before she passed.
Watching the Chrissy Teigan video left me feeling defeated as a doctor. Because if a rich celebrity like Chrissy Teigan is left completely in the dark about what happened then how many women are walking around just as confused after this horrible experience?
My heart goes out to every woman who has lost a child during pregnancy.
Thank you for sharing your story 🙏🙏 . I’m always hesitant to post anything on TH-cam (and almost always erase what I’ve written). But I’m glad I kept it up ❤️❤️❤️❤️. ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️
Much love ❤️
Zoey
@@Zoeread19 Thank ypu Zoe, I appreciate your reply. We need more Dr's like you. Keep up the good work, Jesus will guide you xxx
A big problem is that the pro abortion side is scaring women and telling them they will die if they have a miscarriage because doctors will refuse to remove the deceased baby depending on what state they live in. This is all I see on Twitter day in and day out. Women saying we need abortion (elective, up until birth) or women will die from sepsis. This is where the terminology gets weird because they're basically saying an abortion is the life saving treatment for an abortion.
After I miscarried my baby in January 2020. I received a bill for my emergency D&C and hospital visit. I nearly keeled over, not because of the cost, but the medical terminology listed my condition as an abortion. It was so triggering to me and broke my heart because I wanted my baby.
Awww, so sweet to hear about your baby girl! I'd never heard about girls being less active before, both my girls were WAY more active than my third, my little sweet boy. He moved so little that more than once I almost drove to the hospital to check on him and to this day he's just a chill little man 😂
And I also want to say that if a mother isn't willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of one's body- to go through the crazy changes of pregnancy and the "terrors" of childbirth, what other sacrifices throughout that child's life is the mother going to willingly pass up on?
Yes! My pregnancy was pretty awful and painful, birth was pretty awful, but I would say the level of personal daily sacrifice that is infant care is so much harder. I was in pain and had restrictions during pregnancy, but it did not prepare me for the loss of freedom that came from having to put a totally dependent person ahead of myself. If pregnancy seems like too much to ask, you're gonna be overwhelmed by how much more a child asks from you when they're here.
I don’t think we should judge. As long as the baby is loved and cared for, that’s all that matters. Some women can’t give birth such as if they had to have hysterectomy, may have fibroids that can’t be treated, or simply infertile due to genetics. This gate keeping of what makes a good mom or not is so gross and highly judgmental.
I think that is unfair. Paris is 42. Geriatric pregnancies are very high risk to both mom and baby. After the age of 35, the risk of developing a life-threatening complication like pre-eclampsia, increases exponentially. At 31, both my daughter and I almost died when I developed pre-e and HELLPS at 32 weeks. I had to be hospitalized and she was born prematurely (she is now a healthy 18 yr old). It was a very scary time. Luckily, I was finished growing my family at that time, but if I hadn’t, there is no way I could have gone through that again. The doctors flat out told me it was too dangerous for me to go through another pregnancy. If I had wanted more children, surrogacy or adoption would have been my only safe options.
@@justylexI’m 40, will be 41 when my baby is born. My last baby was born when I was 36. It was a MUCH easier pregnancy and birth than when I had my first birth at 30.
I have a friend who is an OB who had her last baby at 45. She didn’t seemed bothered at all by the “risks.”
The risk is not that great. It is definitely not “exponential.” That’s just completely untrue. Statistically the risk is elevated, sure, but only by a percentage point or so - and can be fully balanced out by other health factors. The health risks are across a population not per individual. Paris is in good shape and she likely doesn’t have high blood pressure or cholesterol, and THOSE are the things that make pregnancy much more dangerous than age (majority of maternal mortality and morbidity is cardiac in nature, so the absence of underlying disease greatly reduces complication risks). She’s doing this because she doesn’t want to lose her figure. That’s all.
@@Me-hf4ii while things may have been fine for you and your friend, which is wonderful, the risks are indeed higher, and your risk of pre-e does increase dramatically as you age. And trust me, as someone who almost died from it, and whose boss had a baby at 40 weeks born stillborn because of it, pre-e is not something to mess with. Why do you think the OB takes your blood pressure and checks for protein in your urine at every appt?
Best pro-women content on YT
That story about the 2 men who wanted "their" baby aborted was absolutely horrendous. Like how can you just easily decide to dispose a defenseless, innocent human life, and one that carries your blood and DNA, like it's some toy?
Our society has so deeply twisted God's design, and the repercussions are terrible and tragic. Thank you Lila for standing up for what's right and shining light into the darkness.
I believe ivf can be done in a redeeming way. This is what we did.
-Collection done at home with pipette kit (provided from ivf clinic).
-Limited insemination (don’t fertilize more than you’re willing to have)
-do not test embryos for abnormalities
Not all clinics will allow this (it can affect their success rates). We had to pay more for this way but it was the only way we felt comfortable moving forward.
I have two sons and zero frozen embryos.
I really appreciate these pop culture episodes especially, because so often people tend to argue with personal stories and anecdotally, and so it’s helpful to hear about these stories going on in the media and be able to use them as examples of the broader message.
This is so sad. Thanks for your work that helps to defend so many babies.
It is sad that people listen to Chrissy Teigen. She is uninformed or intentionally misleading. Leading others to sin is a grave sin.
She has all the babies she wants.
She’s a devil worshipper
You're not scared of childbirth after 8 months of pregnancy..I'll tell you that haha.
I was super scared of birth before, but after experiencing pregnancy and the build-up of excitement and discomfort, I'm ready for this little one to come out.
Yes most women say they are afraid until they get tired of carrying. Then they look forward for the birth. lol
You absolutely are if your first pregnancy had serious complications.
I couldn't agree more lol! I'm due any day now (planning on a home birth) & never thought I would be so ready for her to be here but my hips are so sore from only sleeping on my side lol
@@amossymindset oh my gosh, me too! Do you use a pillow between your knees?
Your Podcast has opened my eyes to the pro-life movement....thanks for creating and starting this podcast
This is one of your best podcasts yet. Thank you for bringing to light so many things Keep up the great work that you do!
my baby girl is EXTREMELY active haha she's 13 months, she's been crawling since 5, walking since 10, and she climbs on everything and she's wayyy too smart. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get to it.
Congratulations on your baby girl!!! I have a 4-year-old boy and 2 1/2-year-old girl. I will say she’s very active also. She keeps right up there with her brother! So so excited for your addition! 💗💗💗🎀🎀🎀 Love your podcast and all the work you do!
Don't know if it was intentional but you've got the colors of Advent on your background ❤
A baby 20 weeks and older who passes away actually isn't called a miscarriage. I think it's called infant loss or still birth (medically). I lost my 20 week baby 2 years ago, and Chrissy's public statements were very insulting and twisted. I wanted my baby and I still miss him so much. How dare you call it an abortion?
Great video and explanation about IVF, pray for Paris
Hey, Lila, the baby in the surrogacy story was not aborted. He was delivered prematurely, and the hospital denied him lifesaving care on the order of the dads’. The surrogate would have saved him if it was her decision. She says this in her interview with Allie Beth Stuckey.The story is still heartbreaking, but the child was not brutally murdered. Don’t try to dishonestly paint the surrogate as the villain.
Yes, and additionally the Dads were threatening legal action if any hospital attempted care on the baby. The surrogate actually had to go to a different hospital to deliver, as the first one denied her care due to the dads threats. The surrogate is also a mother to 4 kids, so delaying cancer treatment could have resulted in 4 young kids losing their mother. The cancer was growing rapidly due to pregnancy influencing the growth.
This is such a heartbreaking story that didn’t have to happen. Babies are humans with rights, not commodities you can return for a refund💔
Absolutely right, everything you said is on point!!💜 love your podcast!
Congratulations on baby girl!!
Late last year at my 20 week ultrasound we found out our baby had a litany of developmental issues. Sadly, the perinatologist that was assigned to us and we spoke with - even after I told her I did not want to talk to her if she was going to advise abortion - tried to scare us by telling us my life may be at risk, recommended an amnio right away (which can endanger the baby) and also mentioned abortion “even though we mentioned we weren’t open to that.”
I had had a couple of early miscarriages prior to this pregnancy along with three live births. The experience of my first miscarriage gave me so much compassion for woman who have had abortions because for so many they are lied to and told it’s not a big deal - when, from at least a physical perspective, whether you believe it’s a human life or not - it’s a very big deal.
Fortunately my husband and I are both solidly pro-life and Catholic so abortion and an amnio (prior to 36 weeks) was never an option. I spoke with both my primary care doctor and OB following that appointment and they both confirmed that the “concerns” she conveyed to us that would “warrant” an abortion or an early amnio (that again would endanger the baby’s life) were untrue and unfounded.
Two weeks later during a follow up ultrasound we were devastated to discover our son’s heart had stopped beating and I delivered him the next day in the same labor and delivery birth center in Southern California that I delivered all three of my girls. We were treated with such amazing care and dignity you would never have known my son was not born alive.
Anyone that claims that since Roe v Wade has been overturned that you will be punished or not experience the appropriate care you need or deserve if you miscarry is lying. The most difficult moment of my life was turned into an incredibly beautiful experience by every single person I encountered in that hospital from the person who checked us in, every nurse, the social worker who came to check on us and of course my OB who is an absolute hero. Even the mortuary that we chose went so above and beyond that he handcrafted a gorgeous wooden box for our child so that we could properly bury him in a Catholic cemetery.
I also had another traumatic miscarriage this past summer that required me to go to the ER - again I was met with nothing but compassion and incredible care. I know I’m in California but there is so much misinformation about the criminalization of miscarriages post the overturn of Roe v Wade I feel it necessary to point out the care I’ve received. I can’t tell you how loved I’ve felt as my nurses shared their miscarriage stories with me, have hugged me and cried with me.
Losing a child is traumatic there is no escaping that regardless of the circumstances BUT asking the mother (parents) to make the choice to end that life only adds to that trauma. I have zero guilt - immense sadness and grief - YES - but zero guilt. I am so grateful to God that abortion was never an option for me because I would have missed out on the beauty of our experience and the healing that came with it. Lord have mercy on anyone that stands in the way of anyone having the same opportunity.
Even thought I don't agree with surrogacy I really appreciate the fact that Paris is very open and thankful for her son and shares it on social media constantly!
Amazing information about the baby’s cells staying inside the mother for life.🍼
That blew my mind! I love it
I have 4 and pregnant with our 5th. My first is a girl and she’s as wild as my 3 boys 😂 they surprisingly do sometimes better without her, because she has a way of making them more wild than usual😅 but she’s so incredibly smart and fun and truly the sweetest! so you might just have a wild girl Lila❤ congrats!
My understanding of the story of the surrogate mom with cancer is not that she agreed to an abortion but that she induced early in order to receive her cancer treatment and then the gay men denied medical intervention for the child. Legally the hospital did not have listen to the surrogate's wishes after the baby was born. Basically the law viewed the baby as "property" of the gay men.
I don't think we should judge this secular surrogate mother too harshly. I think she is victim and the only truly immoral choice she made was becoming a surrogate in the first place.
If you think about it, her life was at risk, she refused the abortion, attempted to adopt the child, she carried the child until it was medically necessary for her to receive treatment that would harm the child then she induced. She wished for the child that was induced early to receive medical treatment but was legally barred from making that decision. Her mother held the baby while he died while hospital did nothing to prevent it. None of that sounds like an abortion to me. The only other option available was carry the baby to term and possibly died in the process which I'm pretty sure isn't the pro-life position. There have been some very heroic mothers who choose that. But I never heard the pro-life side say the mother can't induce early to try and preserve her life and hope to preserve the child's life too. I think the state and the gay men executed the child.
Children are a privilege, not a right.
Man this really convicted me. I’m pregnante 9weeks and my experience has been emotionally interconnected with God and so much of what it means for there to be a “God” … and what that means for me and the world… and that I get to experience this miracle. I feel so fortunate!! I also understand your point so well it’s shocking. Life is incredible valuable and I know so bc I feel it deep in my heart that it is true. Thank you for sharing your perspective and belief!
It breaks my heart how they talk about conceiving a child, bringing a brand new being into the world, with so much consideration for their own convenience.
Our country is so gross with wealth. I've never paid attention to whatever Paris does, but none of this surprises me with celebrities. Yuck.
In vitro and surrogacy is not just for the rich I’ve had friends who could not naturally have children and had to go through in vitro or surrogacy, because in vitro did not work for their bodies.
Lila, your voice is vital! ❤️ you!
If it were up to my husband, he’d calculate when to get me pregnant so that it doesn’t interfere with hunting season 😂 but so far all 3 are born right before hunting season. That’s about the most “planning” we do but it’s not serious and clearly we’re not good at it 😂
So would mine 😂
I live in Florida and have planned both of my pregnancies to not be heavily pregnant in the heat and humidity. It’s worked well so far!
But if Paris Hilton was going through IVF, could that not have been because of her age? She's in her 40s, so maybe she would have been a high-risk pregnancy. Many women don't meet their husbands until later than life, so what if IVF is the only way? Now, if Paris was 25 and making these statements than I would be be more inclined to agree.
There's a story about embryos that were frozen over 20 years were recently acquired from an embryo bank and born. I can't even imagine the identity issues those kids will have. That was the first time i really thought much about IVF and it really is horrifying to think about all the frozen embryos just suspended in time.
Here’s what bothers me tho. Because the word “abortion” has been so emotionally charged we forget that it is a medical term that means “the end of a pregnancy”
So you can have a “spontaneous abortion” AKA miscarriage or you can have an “elective abortion” which is what we call an “abortion” in colloquial terms
Language matters folks
Don’t be surprised when they call your miscarriage a “spontaneous abortion” because that IS the medical terminology
My daughter was so active in the womb! And she is very active. Having our first son this month so we’ll see how they compare. But my daughter can keep up with any boy 😂
Pertaining to Christy Teigen‘d confusion about having a miscarriage and what an abortion is is unbelievable. It sounds like her husband was going along with the ridiculousness of that. It’s amazing that someone her age and her husband’s age John legend could be so ignorant concerning what an abortion is legally. Since they both are high-level celebrities, I wonder what the abortion industry is paying them to conflate miscarriage with abortion politics for profit and greed.
thank you so much Lila may God bless you
From personal experience with the same two boys and then girl. What shows in utero usually matches how your child will be. All our kids are high energy and active but it is slightly different with our daughter. Huge congratulations.
Thanks so much ❤
Congratulations to you Lila on your baby girl! 🩷 you are going to be such a great role model for your little princess 💕
Please see a doctor if your cough continues much longer! In 2019 I had a horrible dry cough that lasted for months, and by the time I finally considered seeing a doctor, it was going way. However, I really regret not seeing a doctor, because to this day, my throat still feels week and I will cough if I get crumbs stuck in it, if I laugh really hard, etc. Seeing a doctor early on might have prevented those lingering effects.
Having a baby girl is awedsome! Prayers that your pregnancy continues to go well!
I appreciate your podcast. IVF, surrogacy have always felt wrong.
The trials of pregnancy prepare you for the trials of childrearing.
Yes it is heartbreaking when couples cannot have children but IVF and surrogacy are also heartbreaking.
Enjoy your pregnancy.
I know you may never respond Lila but I am curious about your thoughts on a family like mine that has been so perfectly blessed with beautiful babies through IVF. If it weren’t for it, I would have never been a mother that carried my own children. Although a loving embrace is preferred when trying to become a parent, it is not always granted that way. We used all viable embryos. We even used some of the ones that were not recommended. We have had miscarriages and struggles and years of tears that ended with beautiful and VERY MUCH LOVED AND WANTED … soooo WANTED children. It is heartbreaking to feel judged by people thinking that what we did was wrong when it really was the only way to become parents like it seems everyone else can become. It is not an easy journey for many. I still haven’t given up on a natural surprise but I am not delusional and don’t regret how my children were blessed to me but it is hurtful and I am sure many feel hurt when they hear that judgement. Especially when all we wanted was to become parents.
I can not begin to understand what you have been through.... and I would like to relieve the burden you carry: "feeling judge" Every child is beautiful and precious. I believe Lila is making a simple point: the end as beautiful and precious as it is does not justify the means in this case, simply because for every miraculous child there is a tragedy that is knowlingly and intentionally swept under the carpet.
@@colour81 I want to understand your point of view … IVF is not justifiable because an embryo may or may not have been discarded? In my experience people that look down upon IVF typically are perfectly fertile and have limited or no experience with the immense pain and challenges that come with infertility. It seems pretty judgmental to make a blanket statement like that. Now if we discuss the nuances like the tragedy of creating and destroying a healthy embryo simply because it will be a he or she or have blue eyes or brown eyes then I understand the sentiment. But how can IVF itself be tragic… is its history full of tragedy? Yes and do people take advantage of it sometimes? Yes but IVF has been the miracle for many. I am truly not here for TH-cam dialogue drama just a genuine curiosity.
I’m a Catholic and the church teaches it’s morally wrong to use IVF, however that being said, it seems like you did everything in your power to mitigate the potential negative effects or loss of life. The tragic part the other responder mentioned is all the “non viable” embryos. They’re complete human beings with totally unique DNA who never existed before and will never exist again. So it’s really sad that they’re just like collateral damage. But I agree it’s a wonderful gift your children are here! And like I said it seemed you did the best you could to mitigate the potential loss of life (not just tossing out embryos with qualities you didn’t like, etc). I think that’s the other main reason IVF is seen as immoral, the potential for evil is high (not saying it was present in the way you used it- but obviously some pretty nefarious things could happen in terms of designer babies/eugenics/etc)
Also want to add despite my beliefs being aligned with the church teaching, I don’t think you did anything wrong or bad and I am sorry that you feel badly hearing her talk about her position on IVF. I don’t judge you or people like you and maybe the pro life movement could find more kind ways to speak about it!
God bless you and your family ❤
@@NoName-yc4ts I can only respect you for your response despite how personal this topic is for you! Like I said earlier I can not even pretend to understand the pain of infertility. I do have family and friends who have suffered with this, and even those who have used IVF successfully. I have tried to support and celebrate with them through every face. But still I find it hard to embrace the whole concept of IVF. And to answer your question, the "tragedy" I think is that more often than not IVF will put somebody in a position to make a live or die decision over a human life. It could be the medical team when they judge the embryo "non viable" or even more tragic a parent who has to let go of "viable embryo" for one reason or another ... and it could be a good reason for example we got six viable embryo and it is not safe to implant all!
I do not judge you or anyone. Judgement belongs to GOD. We all fall short in one way or another. But can you see that discussing the morality of IVF has some merit? As difficult as the conversation is I think we need to talk about this and other issues like euthanasia for example. Because as science and medicine advance we will find our selves with more power over life; the question how do we yield it? Or should we yield it at all?
Yay!!! Congratulations on your little girl! 💕👶🏻💖 God will give you all the grace you need to keep up with 3 active little ones!
The KT story is totally bizarre. Poor Krissy & John going through a stillbirth situation must have been absolutely devastating. But then she had been out of the spotlight for two minutes & used social media garbage narratives & lies to “stay relevant”
There’s a new clip of PH meeting her son for the first time in the hospital after he was born… and it so cringy 😢 the disconnection was palpable. It really broke my heart the baby looked like he wanted to snuggle & bond after the hard work of being born & he was in the cold plastic bassinet under the bright lights & in front of a camera.
I imagine the surrogate too was just as confused (even if she didn’t think so) having to go home & recover alone only being able to show a few thousand dollars for it
We need to pray daily for our nation to return back to God & repent of these evil acts!
Our father… glory be… hail holy Queen
Hahaha my second baby was like that!! Super active, hard to get a good ultrasound picture of her, but she is the sweetest smartest little girl, still very active and involved. And hates missing out aka not great for sleeping! God bless your family and pregnancy!
I think you make really great points, that we have things backwards for intimacy and pregnancy. The issue is, is some women can be trying their hardest to find the right partner, or are raped, and then what community is going to take care of her and her child? We barely have any regulation or laws that help during pregnancy and after, like other first world countries like Sweden for example.
I know there are a lot of zealous, legalistic religious people, but let’s be real, any religion could do that. We need to base our opinions on as much research as we have and continue using that to progress and grow as a society. Anti-abortion I feel is also inhumane on some levels, and we need to figure out what those levels are-term limits would help, but totally denying and forcing dependent children on potential poverty, mental illness, and stress and abuse, for a mother who just can’t do it all, is not fair. How arrogant to assume we know the experience or what is best in someone else’s shoes if we don’t fully conceptualize this?
So does having abortion access contribute to more women getting pregnant? Maybe? But let’s review the stats. I don’t think it’s reasonable or scientific to allow some sin and have no laws for it and condemn others. We should base our morale and ethics off of reasoning and logic, which is what Christianity is founded on-not on legalism and religion. Faith/religion and science must unite.
Well done Lila. ❤
Both my girls were active in the womb, my youngest girl is a whirl wind but my oldest was always really chill.
Most women who do ivf do it with a broken heart after years of heartache...please learn more about it from regular mothers who endured that hardship. My friend donated her embryos to other infertile couples. Ivf is the only hope for some people.
I understand being frustrated that Paris chose to make embryos instead of just freezing eggs. But the fact of the matter is that she didn't find her life partner until she was older and I completely understand relying on IVF as an older mom. The eggs are younger and healthier and the chances of conception are higher. Also for the record many people conceiving naturally try to "schedule" pregnancy around school year, weather, holidays, or a whole bunch of reasons. I on purpose planned all my babies to be winter babies because of the school year cut off dates and the weather. This is very normal and everyone wants their kids to succeed and have good school experiences.
to be clear I do think that there are lines that get crossed in IVF that get crossed, particularly implanting multiples with the intention to terminate one or more of the fetuses if they all implant.
What a precious blessing. An active girl, May she grow up and put her energy into doing great things like her mom. My husband and I tried to have a 2nd child but we’re not successful unfortunately. We were told IVF would give us better chances but we turned it down. Just the idea of having frozen embryos is hard to wrap our heads around and choosing which ones get the chance to have an opportunity to grow. There are so many ethical questions when it comes to the fertility industry it seems no one talks about this.
Celebs don’t want to “ruin” their “perfect” figure… **sigh**
I agree with Lilas views here but have to disagree that a child raised from infancy by their biological mother after being carried by a surrogate truly makes a large impact on that child. I was raised by my grandmother starting at 14 months old. The worst form of separation anxiety I had was sucking my thumb for far too long into childhood (lol) but I genuinely built a bond with my grandmother that is to this day identical to a mother daughter relationship. So im saying from my experiences that It has to be pretty low impact long term being born by a surrogate and immediately hand delivered to your bio mother.
Hi @meghan1094 Could this be because your grandmother was a related relative whereas a surrogate is completely unrelated? Just a thought.
Thank you for stranding up for the unborn children ❤
“Spontaneous abortion is pregnancy loss before 20 weeks gestation. Diagnosis is by pelvic examination, measurement of beta subunit of human chorionic gonadotropin, and ultrasonography. Treatment may be expectant management or with medication or procedural uterine evacuation.”
Girls are much!! Get ready 😂❤ congratulations!
Awe I have two boys too and I hope my next baby is a girl! Congrats 🎉😊
Thanks for this podcast, Lila. Prayers for all women that consider reproductive technology as their right to motherhood. God have mercy on them.
Teigen shouldn't be allowed around children, including her own.🍕🚫
One is intentional and another is out of your control. Huge difference.
Thank you, Neighbor 👍
Ugh i hate that term medical abortion I had that in hospital with my child its awful makes you feel like you had an abortion ! It took me time to accept it was a misscarraige
Ahhh Congrats Lila!!!!!
Congratulations on your little girl!
The mother is not just carrying the child she is MAKING the baby. the babies heart, brain, nervous system, eyes are all connected to that woman, what she ate, what she thought etc.
My daughter was extremely active in my tummy. From the moment she popped out she was highly alert, on the go, non stop 😅 the only way to get her to slow down these days is hand her some art and craft or left her watch a movie. My son l it really did not move in my tummy at all. He was a little plop until the age of 2… would rather sit and watch the world. Not bothered about walking or anything. He’s now picking up on lost time and lives to be given a job to do. Isn’t it interesting though! Their personalities are right there… growing inside of us
I don't see why more people don't consider adoption rather than surrogacy or ivf. especially if we as a society want to reduce/eliminate abortions, we need more people willing to take care of the children whose birth parents can't/won't.
My girls are super high energy and my husband and I are athletic and active in that we aren’t lazy and enjoy hikes and such but our natural demeanors are chill and easy going. We just had a son (he’s 2 days old) and I’m nervous thinking how could a child have more energy than my little ladies.. lol good luck to you
lol you’re going to do great! Congratulations on your son! ❤
Congratulations! We have 4 girls and 1 boy… he’s definitely more high energy than my girls overall but obviously each girl is different. One of my girls rivals him! Lol Pregnant with another boy now. Each one is a gift. Thanks for your work ❤
@@brookew2403thank you!!
Yes every baby has value nothing to do with money!
the timestamps have a typo "Intro Sequence"
I watched a christian couple pro life from conception discuss another more ethical ivf option. Take and freeze eggs not embryos , look at eggs keep good ones ditch the bad ones. Only fertilize two embryos and implant both of them. None of the children are frozen, tested on, or discarded of. They where genuinely infertile . Would love thoughts on am ivf method such as this. I understand it's still unnatural but in cases of years of infertility where no children are lost or frozen ?
I had the same re heart beat stopped them d and c I waited like a month for it to happen naturally then I did another scan because I begged to double check heart but nothing :( so then I did d and c as it was starting to become Ricky for me
Whilst, I do agree with your point around surrogacy. I think you are being a bit 'ignorant' towards those couples who have no other way of conceiving a child via IVF.
Paris and many like her never had any intention of being pregnancy or carrying a child. They have always wanted to just purchase their babies just like everything else in their life. Now all she does is post pictures with them like I do with my cats. I doubt she is the first one who cares for her children from feeding, changing, bathing unless it's for a photoshoot.
So pitiful that Paris' cowardice prevents her from experiencing the healing of childbirth. Ironic bc the medical "professionals " will tell you how the "body keeps score". Ive been told by midwives that ill relive or rehash past traumas in pregnancy and child birth. They arent wrong and ive experienced unimaginable horrors. But no one is talking about the incredible healing and organizing/processing of past traumas that can occur as well. Yes, you have to be very reaponsive to your body (like the mother you want to be), listen and be willing to not judge yourself. Theres a lot of inner work that is HARD. Yet, i wouldnt change it for the world. I feel empowered and purposeful on the otherside of trauma. Healing is possible.
18:30 so according to you now adoption is known as a tragedy ?
Yeah the surrogate mother who had a bond loved the child more than the "parents" who just wanted a perfect replica of themselves... Not surprising at all.
Do not take cough syrup while pregnant.
I'm not done with the video and I know this is an examination of Paris, but it should also be noted that her husband has a child with a woman who he had casual sex with and he doesn't have a relationship with that child. He only pays child support and it's understood in the parental agreement he won't be in the child's life.
I wanted to throw up when the fiancé talked about timing implantation so the baby will be more advanced than their peers
The beauty influencer Marlena Stell said that when she had a pregnancy with no heartbeat she was told she couldn't have a d&c due to anti-abortion "heartbeat" law, and that she was being told to just wait for the miscarriage, and that "abortion clinics had closed."
As someone who has had one, I found this questionable, because if there is no heartbeat, how is it violating said law? I have a very hard time believing any doctor would fail to perform one due to this.
I had a blighted ovum, literally an empty gestational sack, but my body believed it was still pregnant. So that I could start trying to conceive as quickly as possible, my doctor had me go to a surgical center in the hospital and it was done there. I don't know why she thought she needed to go to an "abortion clinic" for this, or who told her that. But the story sounded very... off.
I agree, but the use of the word "abortion" is technically the correct term- or just means "ending of pregnancy." The difference is in the qualifier, "spontaneous" verses "intentional." It deeply bothers me when ANYONE tries to claim that the distinction doesn't matter. It does. A woman who miscarries usually (not always but usually) wants the baby and is devastated by the loss. It happens because there is a natural reason for that pregnancy to not be able to survive, either an issue with the fetus or with the mother. It is NOT intentional, and there is nothing that can be done to undo or in most cases prevent it.
I wish that surrogate had refused the abortion, because I wanted to see how far the law would go. Would they drug her, hold her down and force it upon her? I can't imagine it would have gone that far. I'm guessing she needed the money and couldn't afford the care of the preemie (though the NICU my son stayed in for his first month of life had a "no additional cost" policy- they would only ever charge a family their co-pay for the infant's stay, even if the insurance refused to pay anything, and if you were low-income or had no insurance, they paid a sliding scale that could be nothing if they couldn't afford any payment, and instead had donations and a fund to cover their running costs). I can't imagine even the most ardent pro-abortion person cheering on a woman being physically and legally forced into terminating a pregnancy she wanted. Look into surrogacy laws in other countries, they can be very, very different in how they're approached and how much or little power the surrogate has in the situation.
What Paris and her fiance are doing is not so different from parents today. Many think about their babies in the same or similar way. Induce them when it's convenient or scheduling a C-section, planning on a specific month, and after the baby is born these babies become trophies. Parents think about their status more then what kids genuinely need (love, presence, trust and care, not money, expensive things, schools, clubs, etc
I agree with you
Lila I am 20 wks with my 3rd, we have two girls already and just found out we are having a boy. Girls are just as noisy and energetic as boys if mine are anything to go by, they love to scream for some reason 🤷♀️
Can relate! My girl is WAY noisier than my boy was at the same age. The screaming is crazy 😂
You are right! But the medical community counts miscarriages as abortions . The abbreviations are GPA G is number of pregnancies, P is how many children and A is how many abortions and it includes miscarriages
Our little boy, we didn’t find out until birth, was SUPER active in utero and now he never stops moving at 3.5 months. I call him crazy legs because he kicks all the time and always kicked me hard from the inside lol
The surrogate who had the abortion at 24 weeks was forced to because her life was in danger. She had aggressive cancer and waited as long as she could before she had to start treatment. She also had children of her own to take care of and stay alive for. Please correct your statements.
I miscarried without even realizing it at the time w a very abusive guy. I was so careful but still got pregnant. He places me under so much stress and so it wasn't very surprising. I obviously would have never aborted even from him.
Get better. I am also sick again. After one week. Lol. What is going on? Wow.
You guys will be great. I have a friend w two boys and a girl and her girl is calmer and easier.
❤❤❤