The most essential skill in the digital age
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ค. 2024
- In this video I'm going to be talking about a book called Deep Work by Cal Newport, where he argues that the ability to do deep work is one of the most valuable and rare skills in this new super competitive economy.
0:55 - Introduction
1:08 - Definition
2:55 - Principle of Least Resistance
4:15 - Science behind Deep Work
5:20 - Attention Residue
6:00 - How do you actually do Deep Work?[8 Actionable Steps]
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Have you tried implementing Deep Work sessions in your life? What was your experience?
Amazing video. I actually left most of the apps for social media. And it is a big relief. i feel free. This all happened before watching your video or reading this book. Where can i find this book?
😘
As a software engineer, when you stare at multiple windows full of code, these sessions are deep work. I tend to setup for these sessions pretty much what the video says
I hear Vancouver is one of the most beautiful cities in the world!
Whenever I hear of Cal Newport's Deep Work, I think of 'Deep Thoughts' by Jack Handy, lol. Old school SNL. I loved those episodes.
I struggled for my first two semesters back in nursing school until I deleted social media and made an active effort to focus..it’s a muscle you have to work on little by little and give maintenance to or else you lose it
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and Cal's book really helped to managed my distractedness. It is worth noting that he seems to update the audio version of his book periodically.
(some points that i took from the video) we need to think about Implementing all this.
Quit Social media.
Close all messages and stuff.
Work in a quit place.
Work at a quiet time.
limit internet access during deep work time.
Get visibility in deep vs shallow time my minuting the day.
Decide on a fixed time when you finish your work.
Train your attention
practice deep work work on daily basis.
practive thinking while walking.
Learning a memorization trick.
Learning a new language.
This feels like one of the most important videos someone can watch. This feels all too relevant as someone who has struggled with deep work essentially my entire life. I wanted to thank you for your efforts to improve people’s efficiency and effectiveness. Without this, I would have just stayed in my horrible habits and would not have ever succeeded in more advanced tasks.
This was an amazing summary of the book. Adding this one to my list! Waking up earlier definitely makes me feel more productive. I’ll try to sort out which tasks are deep or shallow today to practice.
Thanks Feyi!! What I completely left out in the summary were all the examples of different people using deep work in their lives, which was also super interesting and helps put everything in context. Let me know how your practice goes!! :)
Wow. I think I’ve been a deep worker most my life, no social media etc., but I think I’ll start this one tonight. Thanks for such an amazing summary, Dami. In-depth videos like this are what I really use TH-cam for, I hope you’ll post more like this one. :)
I feel I do mostly shallow work in my field, though I am teaching myself to be more proficient in some tech aspects such as learning Python and SQL, yet only at the very beginning stages of the former with the later on the horizon. I am glad to have listened to this. Thank you for sharing your work.
Great video Dami, thank you. I’m retired now but I wish I had been more deliberate about the structure of my thinking during my waking hours. I did some of these steps without realizing that it was being analyzed and refined into a formative approach. I used to think of it as going into certain rooms in my mind dedicated to an outcome and remained there until I vacated my space for another in order to avoid burn out. Anyway…loved the subject and especially listening to how your perceptive mind flushes out the leads as in a good detective novel to get to the subtle but valuable clues. Sorry I didn’t realize I was going to blah blah blah so much. Love your channel. ( a retired cop)
great lighting! one of my favorite books :)
thanks luba! I've actually never heard of cal newport before this but ali seems to be inspired by a lot of his work 😄
Good job on trying out getting up at 5am! Totally changed my life and made me more productive. A coffee machine with a timer set for 4:50am helps with the motivation to out of bed! :)
Yes!! The weekends always seem to mess it up a bit, but that extra hour of work in the morning really makes a huge difference. That coffee machine sounds like luxury. I do have the sunlight alarm, with bird sounds, which make the experience a bit more pleasant ^^
Thanks for sharing Tor thoughts on Deep Work. In the information technology space, I honk about digital transformation can improve our lives, make us more productive in a meaningful way, and how society could benefit. When I’m walking to work, I practice walking meditation, just walking while walking. It’s quite enjoyable, focussing the movement of the hips and legs as I walk. It’s a good way to practice being present and comfortable with oneself, and helps o getting into deep work. Will add this good to my purchase list.
I've been listening to the audiobook on the commute to work. Also your website is a good read and really well put together. I just finished your Library of the Mind Master's Thesis presentation. I'm not in the architecture field but that was pretty interesting. These productivity tips on a lot of your videos really help. I think I'll start out with one hour instead of shooting for the moon with four. Anyways your channel is an awesome find, the editing is some of the best too. Looking forward to more content.
Thank you for an amazing summary. Great content
No problem!!
Great review of a really important topic. Took your advice & ordered the book. Thanks!!!
This book was in my wishlist. Totally buying it now.
This was another great video. You are very interesting. My work day start is 4AM. 2 hours to get ready and eat breakfast. Out by 6AM to get wherever the job is.
This is excellent content. All of your videos have been really helpful and I'm so glad I discovered your channel right before I'm going to start architecture grad school. I have quit Instagram and Facebook since 2 years and it has definitely helped with focusing. The 25 minutes pomodoro technique has also been a game changer for me in doing and completing involved tasks. Please do more of these book reviews, they're very interesting.
That's really awesome. This book made me realize how detrimental innocently checking social media, a few times a day can really be. Will you be doing a thesis in grad school? I wanted to talk about how I probably did the most intense form of deep work during my thesis, but I couldn't fit it into the video since it was already getting too long. There are a lot of non-architecture books that I wish I'd read even before I started school so I will try to do more summaries!
@@DamiLeeArch Yes I will and I did one in my undergrad too. Infact thesis was what pushed me to get rid of social media in the first place. It is so demanding and you're right, it has to be the most deep work I've ever had to do. I saw your other video and started reading Atomic Habits as well. Totally loving your content! I can't imagine how you balance architecture work plus shooting and editing all these videos. Keep up the good work, looking forward to your next upload! ❤️
@@himathaker8689 thanks hima! oh man now I'm feeling the pressure to put out more high value content 😅
@@DamiLeeArch haha! Don't worry, you're doing so great already! 😄
Thank you.
You are a source of positive energy..
Keep cultivating
this productivity series is really good- thanks for the kernels of knowledge!
You're welcome! Thanks for watching 😊
Thank you so much for all your hard work on making these high quality and extremely informative videos!!, I have made a habit of watching a couple of your videos daily and you're literally changing my life as an architect and as a person. I can't properly say thank you enough. May allah bless you..
very interesting I'll have to read the booK! the CNS was so fascinating when I learned it last year. I also can relate to the quiet space. i finish a few accelerated classes over Covid and found that I did exceptionally better in classes through remote learning - there's a surprising number of distractions with commuting to a campus and sitting in a classroom! I was surprised to realize that. Also I dont' think it's necessarily cutting out what doesn't benefit you. I think it could be that, but mostly if there's a way to change your perspective so you use it differently to benefit you - example: on facebook, you can run adds for a products or a business. In this way the platform can be utilize to progress a business instead of steal your attention down a rabbit hole :)
Yeah! Usually i get up at 5:30am! Its really good to start a day with an easy morning and see the sun rising on the horizon.
With a good breakfast and some activities as well, you feel with a lot more energy to get the work done through the day.
Keep the good work! Congrats!! =]
I would have never guessed there were so many early risers!! So good to hear that there's people taking advantage of the mornings. Yes absolutely, I love walking outside when the streets are empty, it's been raining here all week, but I did catch a beautiful sunrise one of the days.
@@DamiLeeArch Indeed, i've got to know a lot of "Early birds", it's very nice to see people enjoying this lifestyle. And where live in Brazil, where its summer almost all the time, i get to see a lot of great sunrising.
@UCuDEyFLzf3vgKDD%F0%9F%98%85MuKzIxaQ that sounds lovely!! I can't wait til winter is over here.. 😭 for now, my artificial sunlight alarm will have to do 😅
On the topic of thinking while walking, that is similar to doing your own dishes. Washing I mean, walking and dishwashing is an opportunity to organize your thoughts and perhaps do a pre-analysis before preparing the next day at night in bed? I enjoy these periods, and I do get a lot of planning and mental "simulation" (thinking about outcomes of decisions) done during walking and doing mundane house tasks. Love your channel. Please continue!
Thanks for this Review. i Actually needed This Information to learn interior designing skill
Just found your video two years after you made it and I am inspired to give it a try. Ironic considering TH-cam is one of my biggest distractions!
Love your work, thanks.
Great topic! Conversation about Deep Work…then, I didn’t complete the memory course because it was too tedious 😀.
The technique,”be comfortable with boredom “ sent me into the ozone! Blew my mind.
Fun aside, this vid inspired me.
I look forward to checking this out.
Yeah it's a great book! one of my favourites.
Dang, I am glad I found this, been having a hard time adjusting to school after working in the Restaurant industry for 15 years. I thought I was okay techy but I'm only 34 and feel like 80 trying to figure out the cloud and all that. Just didn't need to know, there was no reason to.
I kept listening through the video the word "quizá" (maybe). Could be my brain! YOU ARE AWESOME, thank you!
Great video and insight, thank you.
no problem aly!
Thank you. This really helped to wake me up
Good to hear 😊 it's a great read, you should check it out!
I engage in too much deep work running drain pipes thru hospital models throwing in king studs everywhere because architects never model them! Saves on a ton of on site boots on the ground coordination aka yelling. Great video, love the vocal fry.
Deep work? I want to know more. You're super intelligent and this is a great find for me on TH-cam thanks!!!!
really valuable information. thank you
Oh man I was JUST thinking of buying this book!
Haha crown hall, im doing my masters at IIT crown hall its interesting to have this architectural work culture but sometimes its too much
the video is full of good info. Ty
Hey Dami! I think this would be super useful on a podcast, I always watch your videos in the morning when going to school, but I'd like to listen to this on the way over. Thumbs up if you would too!
This is awesome! You're so smart!
Your videos are so helpful!
Thankss!!
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your video
I love your content. Could you please review some architectural essays or books?
Absolutely! Any requests?
Super awesome episode
The impact of this content is clear. A similar book I read shaped my life in a major way. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
A friend gave me this book a couple of years ago. As an engineer, reading it was a bit like reading a description of 'how I know things should be'. I think a lot of engineers naturally fall into these patterns due to the nature of their work; engineering is fundamentally about solving novel and complex problems, which requires deep work. Sadly, the people that would most benefit from this way of working (the do-ers), are the ones least in control of their own work environment. The ones who have the most power to facilitate this way of working (the managers), have the least need for it.
Sometimes its much better to know less. I closed your video then open it again. Because I came to thinking that it will distract me when I just automatically activated deep work.
Its like uhmmmm.... owh the ways she is saying is what im doing.
But then I open your video again and finished watching.
Your videos are very good. I cant think of a terminology, english is not my first language. Good, nice.
Thank you.
I'm interested in reading this book now.
It's very good!!
Book review request: The Checklist Manifesto, written by Atul Gawande. It was released in 2009, it's peer reviewed, and helped me in my personal organization (as it pertains to my day-to-day organization of tasks and assignment of them).
I'm about to read it a second time because it's been a few years since I've read it.
This video perfectly illustrates my Library in the Bullpen philosophy (You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd). The lack of design and thought around allowing these two work flows to operate effectively has significantly affected American businesses' productivity. There is so much emphasis on doing more right now in 2023, and there should be more attention paid to doing the right work in the right set and setting and not forsaking deep work. It's so easy for a culture to get into a tailspin of meaningless activity. It's like the video game Starcraft 2: In that real-time strategy game there are two main strategic focuses. You have to consider the Macro economy / production AND consider the Micro tactical moves. The Macro economy part is what Dami and Cal Newport are talking about.. It's the deep work that requires more thought about what is going to affect something far into the future often times. Whereas the Micro part is all the individual tasks involved and also the oh no 'there's a fire in the night' or 'we are under attack' and we have to put 100% focus on mitigating the threat. When you can get these two parts of the brain balanced, you will play the game better. Many things have this same framework tied to them. Left hand and right hand on the piano would be an example of that.
Good job man. Copy pasting this right into WordPerfect®
Microsoft was subsidized by the labor of office working Americans for decades, even though the quality of the product paled in comparison to WORD PERFECT. Think about that. All those 'licenses'. Sheesh.
Also, Archibeans is a scam.
Yeah! Work in Architecture is absolutely like that. Cause, if you and to be great, detailed and look forward perfection on things... you have to manage yourself like that. Solipsism. So... thats it! :) T
Exactly!
A good way to implement our discipline and cross fade, merge one into another, is understand how frequencies influence our daily lives: I strongly suggest the reading of How Music Work, by Talking Head's soundmaster David Byrne. Surely architecture and music has lot in common [composition, stanzas and elements]: a clean environment equals music, and a digital skill nowadays most of people should have is engineering one's musical environment as much as their ambient at best.
Thank you for this video. Atomic Habits has started on me on this deep work journey and it's becoming a natural limitless pill. The Deep Work book is next on the reading list. Btw, would you be able to credit what song is playing at 11:00? It's such a chill sparkly tune🙏
Hi the course you mentioned. Art of memory! Is it still Available online?
After finishing a big project, I try to enjoy the little things for awhile, but sometimes there is this pace, sleep journals and cook books, architects and writers.. #^.^#
Hi dami, your videos are inspiring I wonder if you have any technique or you can do a video on how to work fast and better, it take me a long time to deliver work in a short period of time
Was a landscape architect years ago... I stopped listening to music mindlessly. Best thing I ever did, so much emotional propaganda trying to direct your feelings in music, aside from its everywhere.... I read Deep Work few years back. I find habit the best quality in achieving Deep work.
Thanks.
I can't agree more. Open office is good for socializing not working.
Hey Dami =)
you talked a bit about "get familiar to be boring while working". While agreeing on the core meaning of it, may I suggest a more likeable form - "growth mindset". heard of it on Huberman's channel, it's maybe the best work related strategy to have (ever)
be well, you're charming
ok I would like to give you some information at around 4:20 you started to explain the science behind deep work and how the brain works. in trying to communicate your point that is very relevant most people are not as receptive just receiving that sort of advanced information verbally and will normally just tone out and stay confused until the video ends and not really get the messages across. A suggestion id like to make is to use sort of a graphic or simple animation that depicts what your trying to explain at the same time so that the viewer stays engaged and at the very least understand some of what your saying rather then just toning out and not getting any of the message. working in sales I have a lot of experience trying to communicate difficult and technical information to my clients and I have found that a visual aid helps a lot in preventing confusion later on
As a programner I do this all the time. I get in the "zone" and not even notice 5 hours passing.
Your video are so joful to watch and wonderful thumbnails
Thank you so much 🥰
Thinking while walking.
Every thought becomes a shower thought. That’s the way it sounds to me.
Great Stuff!
thx for the review, time to go deep!!!!!!
What people refuse to say is their marketing team is negative in any way, yet know to operate that business they need xyz hands to answer phones, fulfill orders, etc, for an hourly rate.
Promotions normally come with going to another company or waiting for your 'turn' (read any company review by former employees). This 'deep think' stuff is what you expect from employees with stock options, they care about the business, not their hourly rate. As a rule in my experience (yours may vary).
I personally also experienced this. They never told me they wanted new sales, or how, or how I would be compensated if I contributed that way. In other words I was hired to support existing contracts, not get new ones.
So I got fired instead of the over paid lazy product team manager who was apparently directly or indirectly hiring people to steal new ideas from then lay them off later?
And people are really baffled people quit their jobs? Maybe not anymore.
Dani, Thank you. I stumbled upon your TH-cam channel thinking Architecture and I found a Life Skill channel. Surprise, Surprise. Thank you, again.
My pleasure 😁
I djo shallow work untill i run into a deep problem, i start planning that solotion, when i think i have the solution and all the rescources, i start the deep work, until i run into the next big unkown. Then i rinse and repeat
I find multi-tasking to be my deep task killer. I take a bicycle ride for lunch break to get away from the computer and relax. Thanks 😊
Love your hair.
Some professions, especially creative ones need someone who can deep-work. Some professions are the total opposite and need someone who can manage everything at the same time.
Different personality types for different jobs. If deep work is not the way you exist then find a job that fits you.
Hey Dami, just wanted to pointout i notice hints of green tones towards the shadows and black... Do you use Green screens or is it just your color grading? recently i noticed my video editing app ups the greens a bit too after it renders for some reason. lol Would be crazy if we use the same app. 🤪
Premiere? Pretty common app 😅 it's a real bg but I'm constantly tweaking the colour settings for the videos
can you tell me what the background song is please?
starts at 6:09 specifically
I have not red the books yet, But the headline is far more interesting initially It discus how we end up losing one the fundemental human brain function been able to focus deep concentration in a variety of tasks in daily bases.
Technology has play a role in this ; scocial media adiction And isolation from the society and just let these devises steel our time.
But I think minimize the using of phones And distracted programs in daily bases it would give you more time to give a Look in your real life
One thing that helped me was to create two profiles (email) accounts in my browser. I use one for work and one for everything else. My woke profile has all my history and cache with work related stuff… future and rare skills?…. Probably specialization of any kind in any of specific topic. The way things are going, ending and overlapping… many industries will require the employees to become Jack of all trades and masters of eventually one.
Lol my entire job is "shallow work". Good luck doing deep work with ADHD, unless it's a topic you hyper focus on, it was nice watching your videos Dami, but my computer isn't really assisting my desire so I guess that's gone, also how are you supposed to have friends without social media?
Your voice just calms me LOL
One thing i used to do before i watch this vid is thinking when i am walking... Maybe i am such a wonderer person at the same time an overthinkers 🥴🥴🥴
Although "I always wanted to pretend to be an architect", I turned out to be an engineer. But the necessity to concentrate is probably the same. However, I'm also of a generation that grew up and started work life without mobile phones and social media (I know 😱) and what you call "deep work", we would have called "work" 25 years ago. Ah, well, gotta go with the times, eh?
Oddly enough, in this age of sudden exponential expansion of AI into un-anticipated sectors…it can be argued that it is precisely deep work..or “narrowly defined” work is likely to be the first to succumb to a complete AI domination. Just think, 3 years ago..we knew that autonomous driving capabilities for long haul trucks was there..and were just waiting for the jobs to disappear…and yet…now..no matter how good this applied function of AI gets..the public will likely not be willing to see driver-less 18 wheelers on the road for at least the next decade. In the meantime, radiologists might be looking for new careers …along with lawyers..before the next 18 months are out.
i love u ur so cool dude frf
Van chhelo tak , ka star nghal tawp che
An tiah K REMA'n
Me watching this while doing 2 other things 😮
🤣🤣🤣
I have a photographic memory, but nobody sells the film anymore.
🥺💬 For me, not the skills of working in a quiet place but the adaptive working environment, time management, focus, and continuity of learning for everyone need to work in supportive environments or their comfortable area. Often I need to focus on work after meeting to continue and aligned schedules when requests keep creating and attentions need from many team workers.
📺💬 He tries to prove of his subject is working 🚘💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬 🏡🗯🗯🗯🗯‼‼‼‼+++ 📺💬🥺
🥺💬 You know that it is too much we should not work in the environment they keep to breaks focus for their own reasons but I tell them to stop and they keep continue.
🥺💬 One ability is fast attention and creating focus in a small amount of time or deep focus as you tell is a valuable skill, deep work or deep learning in AI meaning it had solved complex or working with uncomfortable input to find solutions with the same working process.
🥺💬 Working adaptive environments ... and I remember of least work environment, product output from adaptive environment that is because not always you had best resources but you need to start create inputs and leads effective works.
📺💬 Lead resistance ...
뭔가 멋있는 누나다
I have to admit that I was though this is just a click bait. Totally mind blowing.
Life is for living, not suffering🙏🏻
V 👍
You welcome
Cool. I'm 2 years late though! ☹
I agree with the content of the video, but I would've called this video "An essential asset in the digital age". Not "the" skill since other skills such as critical thinking are also high on my list. And not a skill but an asset, since deep working is contingent on many external factors (for instance the availability of a peaceful place for work). Therefore, it's rather confusing to call it a skill.
:)
1000👍💥🔨😬
Are you still doing this? Waking up at 5am?
RIP my brain then.
Oink Oink.. I been reading few of the Pages the Book you gave Me.. Pulling out the Piece of Paper.. I am trying to write the Summary of what the Book is telling me.. of course if YOU are asking me do I enjoy reading this BOOK.. I would tell YOU.. the BOOK has just too many pages to read.. and I would flip through the pages because some of the things that is Telling me is truly boring to read.. it is Like.. why do I needs to know about this Information.. this Historical portion and I would be scratching my Head.. wants to yank my hairs Out because I would Yawn and tries to GO back to the Pages.. If I don't understand It.. I would re read it over and over so that I can tell YOU what I think of this Book.. when I take a Pause.. it is YOUR picture.. I would put your Picture next to the Book and I would take a LOOK at YOU.. I would smile and ask.. why is My Heart be burning.. It keeps ON burning whenever I look at YOU.. I feel like this Burning deep inside seems like it never stops ON ME.. DO you think that this is what I call Love.. what do you think about this Heart of Mine when It keeps On burning inside of me.. it is when My eyes takes off the Pages of this BIG BOOK and I turn to LOOK at your Picture.. I rather LOOK at this Picture for Hours and even with the Hours goes By.. I don't think I would ever get tired of LOOKING at YOU just like when I write to YOU.. I never get tired of telling YOU.. Letting YOU know How much I still Love YOU.. I can tell YOU millions of times and I would say.. Let me see your ears please.. can I step a little closer to YOU.. if My Voice can be Loud.. I can lower my voice and even whisper.. Just to tell YOU.. that I miss YOU.. Have been missing YOU for a Long time.. but.. Just wanted to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I can stand Out.. go Out side and even Yell looking at the MOON who is looking.. showing the Face.. My Face and turn to the MOON.. with YOUR NAME.. I can say it Out loud.. I love YOU.. I don't want the MOON think that I am telling It.. that is WHY.. or Not the angels be confused or the neighbors around.. But with YOUR NAME say it and say to YOU I LOVE YOU.. but WOULD you let me be Close.. would you let me come closer to YOU.. would YOU open your Heart and Open your ears to listen.. would you receive the Words I want to tell YOU.. can I tell it to YOUR HEART that I love YOU.. as I am sitting on the chair by the desk.. with the BIG BOOK in front of me.. the BOOK is opened Now with the pages on right and left.. with Letters written as I would try to read the page.. going from chapter to the Next.. looking at the Numbers as I am flipping through the pages of this BOOK.. I would read and Pause.. my eyes would turn to LOOK next to this BOOK is your Picture.. I can't hide your Picture away.. I need your Picture with Me so that It reminds me who I love.. that I be loving YOU for reals.. can I take a Look at your Picture Please.. and it is YOU who left this One picture inside.. I remember before I started to read the Pages of this BOOK.. I called your Number.. and I even told YOU that I have found a Picture of YOU.. of course I would hear a Long Pause on the other side before you would say something about It.. I know that YOU did Not put the Picture here for me.. but when I saw the Picture.. It just helps me with the Pains I am suffering right Now.. I know that We are suppose to meet about a Week for Now.. but It seems like it is taking for ever.. time is ticking so Slow even though I am so Busy trying to Finish this Whole book.. and NO.. I am Not a good reader either.. that is why I had to ask for a delay for two weeks.. as I would try to go back to the Pages.. to read the pages.. it is not that easy for me.. too many difficult words would come around.. I have to pull out the dictionary to find and to understand the meaning of this Word.. and trying to read the sentence to go back to understand what it is telling Me.. I been going through Hardship of looking at the second Book.. which is the dictionary.. I remember you told me.. after I am finished reading the Whole book.. YOU be asking me to write to YOU a Summary of the book.. I have been sitting here.. with this One Piece of Paper in front.. trying to write something.. I am tempted to write about something else instead.. I am trying to think about this Story of this BOOK.. but My mind.. my eyes would LOOK at the Picture instead.. I would look on the ground.. there are few papers that has been rolled into balls.. because I started to write to YOU a Letter from my Heart.. and instead of trying to share about this BOOK.. My Mind and Heart takes me somewhere what My Heart wants to tell YOU.. if you are asking me.. what did I write that I had to roll into balls instead.. Maybe I should write TWO instead.. One that is from me to YOU and the other from the story of this BOOK.. the Summary you wanted to see.. when I would look at the Balls rolled UP from the Pieces of paper.. I would write.. I been missing YOU.. I wish that I can go to the Library.. if I go to that Library.. will I see you there.. would you be at the table the last time I saw YOU at.. but I don't want to show UP like I am spying on YOU because I am Not.. I am showing UP because My Heart misses YOU and I want to see YOU more.. of course.. I decided Not to GO.. but Last Night.. I do remember.. My Heart.. I started to miss YOU.. looking at your Picture.. It would stop me from reading more Pages of this BOOK.. I had to put the BOOK down because I would be missing YOU.. and I was struggling.. and I knew last night.. that was the day I saw you like two weeks Back.. and I would grab the keys.. and I knew.. should I go to the Library.. I know that If I do go.. maybe there is a better chance I will see YOU there.. so I took the keys.. and I went into the car.. and I started the Car to drive But.. I knew.. I should Not.. I am going to be making the mistake of showing UP just too early.. I don't even have the paper of the summary for this BOOK and NO.. I did Not finish the BOOK yet.. so I had to pause and think before.. so I did Not drive the Car.. I came Out of the car and stood Out side.. and I would LOOK UP at the sky.. LOOKING Above me is the MOON.. as I am looking at the MOON.. I would Open my Heart and Open my Mouth LOOKING at the Moon.. I would say.. what am I doing.. I know that I made a Promise to YOU.. and YOU gave me two weeks.. even though YOU wanted to Meet sooner.. I know that if I showed UP.. and I am Not ready to show you the presentation.. and If you were to ask me about the BOOK.. and If you say.. did I finish the BOOK.. and I am sure you would say.. why ask for two weeks if I am able to share Now and makes me a Liar.. I don't want YOU to see me as that Kind of a Person when ALL I wanted to say is that I missed YOU.. I been missing YOU for a while Now.. and why can't I just show UP just to tell YOU that I miss YOU.. but.. would Your Heart be opened to receive.. will your Ears be opened to hear the Words I need to say.. But I know that My Heart truly needs to tell YOU.. that I really Love YOU.. YOU may Not believe me.. or the Words Yet.. YOU may think that I am Not being serious about the situation or about My Heart to YOU.. but.. YOU do not have to believe anything Yet.. because I know that In time everything can change that.. there will be a TIME when YOU WILL Finally understand and able to receive when the TIME is right.. that is why I am Not asking it for today.. I am Not asking it for Now.. but I believe.. there will be a TIME you will know the truth.. that the TRUTH will do Its work and will set it Free.. Set me free because I am Not lying.. just sharing just the way it is and has been in my Heart.. that I love YOU.. what More words can I say to YOU that I been loving YOU.. and I would Be looking UP at the MOON.. just pouring from My Heart and speaking.. of course YOU are Not there to listen is the Problem.. that YOU are not there to hear these words of Mine.. that YOU just don't know yet how much I love YOU.. and as I would be sitting on this Chair by the desk in my room.. I am just looking back.. thinking back of what has taken its place.. and I am looking at the Picture.. Your Picture that is Next to this Big Book.. I wish that YOU could see me like this.. only if YOU are able to see me Now.. how can I get YOU to know that I been thinking of YOU.. that I am doing my Part.. that I am reading through these pages.. which It was not my choice.. if I go back where I saw YOU at the Library.. I would of chosen a Different Book.. and something much more Smaller with Pages.. and I would show YOU.. can I read this One instead.. and I can write YOU the Summary on piece of paper and tell you about the story I read of this book.. but.. it was Out of Nowhere.. sitting on the table.. across from YOU.. with a Smile.. YOU would push this BIG BOOK.. I wanted to be your Friend.. a reading club.. and it took me by a surprise when this BIG BOOK came to my direction and Of course I smiled.. but In my Heart.. I would say.. such a Big Book.. has too many pages.. and me to finish reading all of these pages.. But I know that sometimes.. to get close to YOU.. there needs to be a time where I needs to adjust and do what Makes YOU happy the Most.. so I knew that this be a daring statement on my Part.. I just wanted to be Close.. be a part in your Life.. and to get closer to YOU.. sometimes I needs to do things I may Not like but what Makes YOU the Happiest.. Of course when YOU LOOK at me now.. I have finished half of the Pages.. about 400 pages I read so far.. it was not with a SMILE though.. and trying to write the Summary on this Piece of paper would be another challenge for Me.. But.. I know I must do It.. for YOU.. for the friendship comes with a high cost.. and just to get close to YOU.. when Your Picture is next to the Book.. it is the Picture first
MAH MAH.. I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words who will do whatever it takes just to be close.. even though I may not able to say the Words I love YOU.. I know that the day will come where YOU will give me the Permission to say it.. as the Next Day Arrives.. the Older man.. the Master.. He put a DUMMY made of WOOD.. Carved it and gave me the WOODEN SWORD STICK to practice.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. He would should Me the PIN POINTERS where to Hit the Hot Spot to destroy my enemies.. I would stand Alone.. and Most nights the MOON came UP from the Sky.. the Older man.. the Master would behind.. leaving a distance.. as I would hit the DUMMY WOOD with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would hold to close to my Chest.. and I would kiss the forehead of the WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. and I would walk outside into the Night.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would say.. I will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending Your Nation I would hit and hit.. the Wooden Sword Stick would break.. because I would hit it very Hard.. the Older man.. the Master would carve another WOODEN SWORD STICK for me.. He is just sitting there being busy Carving all day Long.. I do remember like My Father.. who was watching me.. I would be holding the Bow.. strings I would Pull back.. many times I would pull the strings back and forth.. I would use the Arrow.. the back of the end of the arrows.. I would aim and I would release the strings of the Bow.. it would break.. He would be very busy pulling the Strings into the Bow.. watching me Shoot the Arrows.. many flies to different sides.. I kept On practice shooting.. even my hands be hurting.. Just like Holding this WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I hit many times on the Wooden DUMMY.. But I never gave UP on the Dreams of Loving YOU.. I just can't call it the Quits.. I have come so Far and I am getting closer to YOU.. as the OLDER MAN.. the Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand
MAH MAH.. Into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU..I am looking Across.. Standing by the Gates.. with the three Friends.. as the Back of the Palace Guards.. I am looking at YOU.. and so many people has gathered.. ALL of the TOP Generals.. the Commanders.. the Head servant.. maids.. even the Highest Kitchen Lady.. and ALL of the Special Body Guards.. the servants and I can hear a Great Celebration.. on the Outer Court.. I am watching YOU.. looking through the gate Bars.. I am wondering.. what is going to Happen after this.. WILL I able to still love YOU.. Look at the place I am standing.. and my three friends who are standing next to me sees Me.. I am sad.. My Heart is broken because NOW.. it is so Hard to Love YOU.. of Course I should be the One who should be the Most happiest to support YOU.. I know that it was ME who told YOU to leave.. to GO.. to go back to the Palace because It is the King.. PEH HA is calling.. He wanted to show YOU and give YOU something.. I was so Happy to hear this News.. that something Great was going to Happen.. and I am now Sad.. NOT sad in a Bad way.. I am just so sad because of this Distance.. I want to come Close.. I want to be near YOU.. able to hold Your Hands.. able to be close and to tell YOU at least I miss YOU.. or say I love YOU.. YOU don't have to accept the Words but.. If I were able to get closer to YOU.. at least YOU are able to feel the energy.. able to see me Smile.. but.. NOW.. I feel like only looking at the MOON can be more closer than for me to LOOK at YOU.. I am looking through the Bar Gate.. as I am watching the People.. the Most important People.. even the Prime Minister has come.. also the Queen.. the People all lowers and falls to the Floor.. QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. people all shouts on the floor.. lowering as she walks.. YOUR Mother has come and Me with the three friends all hit the Floor.. even though she can't see us.. knowing that the QUEEN has COME.. there is a Throne Seat.. in the Middle.. but a stage which YOU are on.. and Now the Messenger Shouts Out.. PEH HA!! the King is Coming.. the KING has come.. PEH HA! and all the people shouts Loud.. PEH HA! and me with the three friends shouts together PEH HA! and the King says for the attendants.. all rise UP and every one stands UP on the two feet.. so me and the three Friends all get UP.. the King is on the Outer Court.. and there is stairs.. He looks at YOU.. HE is with tears in his Eyes looking at YOU.. and there is a Big Crown.. and as the King steps UP He tells YOU to sit on the Throne.. and I look.. It can't be.. and He places a Crown ON the TOP of Your Head.. and He looks at YOU.. kisses Your Hand and says.. Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. SOON to Lead.. SOON to take over the Place.. and everyone Falls ON to the Floor.. lowers all.. and Says CROWN PRINCESS.. I am On the Floor.. with the three Friends.. HWANGTAEJABI.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. and every one shouts.. YOU sit there very shock.. but We all knew that IN time YOU will become the TOP RULER for the Nation.. People cheers and shouts Out.. WANGSEJABI.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we honor YOU.. the Commanders comes and they take a Bow to YOU.. kneeling and lower the Heads.. to the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. and Each Man comes to kiss your hand.. few Commanders.. the TOP 1st Chief Generals line UP.. to the 2nd In command of Chief Generals.. to the 3rd in command of Chief Generals.. and the Lower top generals and I am watching.. this is the Most biggest celebration.. very close of becoming the Ruler.. and I am falling looking on the floor.. What am I suppose to DO.. One side of my Heart.. I am truly joyful.. and I am so Happy for YOU.. I knew in time YOU would become the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would feel so happy that Now you are going to be taking over.. even though there is NO crown Prince.. but YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA made that calling.. Knowing that YOU are ready.. I am looking at the King and the Queen.. both lower themselves before YOU.. I am in shock.. It is PEH HA and HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and they made this Happen.. Now.. On the Other side.. I am watching all of these Most important people who works for the King.. they are all going over kissing Your hand.. I see a long Line and I would be on this Position till the Sun Goes Down.. and I see YOU still sitting on that Throne with the Crown TOP of your Head.. as I am hearing foot steps.. and it stops by the gate door bar.. I know someone is coming.. Is it my turn to kiss Your Hand.. If I kiss your hand.. I know that I can't love YOU any more.. what about me.. What about my Heart.. WILL you still let me Love YOU even after I kiss YOUR HAND.. I want to know.. will you let me still come close.. because I told YOU that I did not want to Come.. I knew that THIS would happen.. I told you before.. when We were back at the garden.. up on the Hill side by the tree.. I told YOU to let me stay Alone.. that I did Not want to go with YOU.. that I told my friends to take YOU instead.. because I knew that this is going to happen to Me.. WHY are you making my Heart to Bleed.. WHY don't you just give me a sharp blade knife and cut UP my stomach instead.. it be better if I just die like this.. I told YOU that YOU SHOULD go alone.. and I know that YOU wanted me to see YOU and to join in the celebration.. Yes.. it is the Best day I see.. it is the greatest day I am feeling at One side.. that Now.. YOU are the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. but the next thing I want to know.. what am I suppose to do with my Heart.. I have been loving you for so Long.. I mean it has been such a very long time.. and I began to think.. if it is all about MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI.. the Crown Princess.. YOU becoming the Next Ruler.. I told you that I did not want to come because the Distance is going to push me far away from YOU.. that is why leaving me behind would been a great idea because my eyes seeing YOU Close is good but bad when I can't ever come close to YOU.. DO YOU KNOW how much I love YOU.. DO you know that I love you so much that I did decide to join.. decided to see this Celebration.. NOW My heart is breaking inside because I know there will be Distance between US.. but able to see YOU close.. but loving YOU far hurts me far more than FOR me being at the Garden.. on the TOP of the HILL side by the tree been better because at least I don't have to see YOU.. it is the same feeling because of the distance.. it kills me more that I can't love YOU.. it kills me even more that I want to love YOU.. but How.. HOW can I love YOU when YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. Please tell me How.. I hear the Bar Gates Opening.. and the Messenger is standing there.. telling me to get UP.. and the four of Us all get up.. the Crown Princess is calling is what the Messenger is telling.. the three of the friends started to walk forward.. But I stop.. I am not going to walk over.. I can't kiss YOUR HAND if I can't love YOU.. I rather NOT go and just turn the Other way.. the Messenger stops and turns to look at me.. the Crown Princess is waiting.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH is waiting for YOU.. but I would not make any move.. I can't go.. I don't want to walk over and kiss Your hand
MAH MAH.. Me.. How about my Love.. How about me Loving YOU.. If I can't love YOU now.. I can't love you later.. because it will turn Out to be Never.. that is why I choose to be still here.. How about Me.. tell Me.. give me the answer first.. I rather turn the Other way.. I will go back to the Garden where I belong in the first place.. where I should stayed in the first place.. If this was going to happen.. I do not know why I came all the way down here to cause trouble.. I don't mean to cause any kind of trouble.. because MY true intention is also celebrate.. but IF it ends this Way.. and YOU are forcing me to Kiss Your Hand so that I can't love you any more.. I am telling YOU now I will not.. I will Not kiss YOUR HAND.. so Please.. Let me GO back to the place where I belong.. Maybe I don't belong here any more because NOW.. I have reached a Point.. I can die.. If I can't love YOU.. Please let me go to see my Family.. I can meet them on the Other side.. since I know now I can't love YOU.. and My tears begins to roll down.. YOU know that I am badly hurt right Now.. YOU know that It hurts if I can't love YOU.. it hurts even missing YOU but to stand here for the rest of My life.. just to look at YOU but can't never love YOU.. I can't.. WHY did you even bring me to this Place if YOU knew it was going to end UP like this.. If you would of told me if YOU Knew this was to happen.. I would of chosen to Be at the Garden.. be close to the Buried family members.. I am not trying to start anything.. Not a war.. Not trying to bring any kind of Trouble.. but just telling YOU.. letting YOU know that I should of never come.. YES.. I do love that YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. I am truly happy for YOU.. that YOU are going to be ruling soon.. I already told YOU it was going to happen., of course never thought this SOON though.. BUT it has happened.. If I walk over.. and YOU give me YOUR HAND.. and I kiss that Hand.. that means I can't ever love YOU.. I will not kiss YOUR hand if I just can't.. I rather turn My Head and look up to the Sky and LOOK at the MOON and just talk to that Moon thinking about YOU.. I have been asking the MOON like he be a friend and sharing.. How much I love YOU and how much I been praying to meet YOU and always wishing that I can meet YOU SOON.. that part it has come true.. but I started to fall for YOU.. maybe because It Hurts so Much I started to love YOU.. maybe it was because missing YOU TOO MUCH I started to Love YOU.. but just thinking about YOU.. it made My Heart to Fall in Love with YOU.. because YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. knowing that this was going to happen.. because of THIS.. because YOU are HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. knowing YOU are the Best.. the greatest is why I loved YOU.. ever since I was a young Boy.. I knew that YOU were going to be someone very special.. and NOW I see.. my eyes are seeing.. that because YOU are.. that is why I rather just love YOU and Not kiss YOUR HAND..I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop
MAH MAH.. Coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come.. and as I am LOOKING UP at YOU from kneeling on two Knees.. YOU looked at me.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see your smile.. so YOU do Remember everything right.. it is that Boy at the garden.. who wanted to give YOU a flower.. Now.. it is Not just a flower.. but I will show YOU a SWORD to protect YOU and this Nation.. and will FIGHT on your Behalf.. the Other guard looks at me.. and As I am looking at the New Recruits.. I would look back.. and I see the Seven Friends who are behind me.. there are two who has been there for me all this time.. the Other Guard who lead me to YOU.. and the First Guard who talk to me at the waters.. Who has been helping me to get closer to YOU.. and as I would LOOK by the Fence.. I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am holding the stick in the Hand.. telling me that I should train these new Men.. the YOUNG MEN who are the recruits.. and as I would pull back.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground..I am looking at YOU.. as YOU are coming closer.. I see you walking and YOU stop.. as I tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. Please do not come closer to Me.. I don't want to kiss YOUR hand.. I just can't.. because YOU know my Heart.. Please.. tell me rather to Leave the Palace.. stripe away my title.. and My Position.. I rather Live as a Slave Instead.. I don't deserve to Kiss Your Hand because I know My Heart.. I know How much I love YOU.. that is why I won't.. Please stop there and DO not come closer.. I rather walk away from the Outer Court.. and I would Hear.. the Queen is coming.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and I see you turn the Other way.. the Queen in tears.. coming to Kiss Your Hand.. and I see her lips kiss.. putting YOU in charge of everything.. I would walk the ten Council of Noble Men walking and they all stop behind the Prime Minister of the Nation.. and I see the King.. who is on the Floor.. He is crying.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANG WOO.. QUEEN.. come to me.. and I see the Queen turn around and she walks to her Husband as She also falls on the Floor.. with tears.. and I am standing there.. each Council of Noble MAN.. walking forward.. each Man comes to Kiss Your Hand.. and I am standing there.. My Heart is truly Touched.. truly Moved.. and I am standing thinking.. WHY can't I kiss Your Hand.. is it because it is My Pride.. WHO am I to tell YOU this.. WHO am I as the Lowly servant.. I am only the Palace Guard.. How can I reject Your Hand.. but It is because I love YOU.. I know that I must kiss but I know if I do.. I become Your Subject.. as I would watch each person kissing Your Hand and they Bow and lower to the Knees.. and LOOKING at the Big Crown on top of Your Head.. now the three of my friends goes over.. and Each of them decides to Kiss Your hand.. I am now standing alone.. if I don't kiss YOUR hand.. I know that I must leave this Palace.. this Outer Courts.. so I would turn to face the Gates.. I know that I must leave.. I just can't stand here any longer.. I just can't kiss Your hand and just become NO ONE to YOU.. and as I behind to walk down by myself.. the Special Body Guard runs.. and He stops me.. putting the Sword in front.. and I turn around and I still see YOU.. YOU just standing there.. with the White Dress.. SO beautiful.. WHY are you stopping Me.. I told you already that YOU are going to be a Great Ruler for the Nation.. Everyone gets on their Knees before YOU.. the Prime Minister.. the Commanders.. Chief Generals.. Generals.. the foot soldiers.. the Ten Council of Noble men.. all the Maid and servant.. EUNCH.. the Highest Kitchen Lady.. the Doctors of the Palace.. all falls before YOU.. shouting Out.. Crown Princess.. MANSAE.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY and Tears are all falling.. saying the Next RULER coming UP and I would look at YOU.. my tears are flowing DOWN.. I am so Sad because HOW can I love YOU now.. LOOK at me.. I can't even do anything.. How can I love YOU now.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would fall on both knees and start too weep in Pain.. I am aching because LOOK at me.. WHO AM I to love a CROWN PRINCESS like YOU.. and I am looking at the Ground.. wailing and Weeping loud.. I know that I am wrong.. I know that I should of never started but NOW to turn back.. it is just too late to turn.. I have come long ways of loving YOU.. and I am looking UP at the MOON.. WHY.. WHY did I even come.. if I could of stayed behind.. then It would not hurt me this Much because the Loving YOU always hurt but Now.. it hurts more.. I don't want to lose YOU.. because I know that I love YOU.. as I am would stand UP.. and I look toward the Gate.. and I started to walk.. passing the Gates.. I know that I can't come back.. I will remain as a Slave.. and I started to walk.. but.. this Special Body Guard keeps on following Me.. and Puts his sword to STOP me to go.. and I would turn.. I see YOU walking.. and coming closer as I am stopped by the Gates.. I am wondering.. YOU have everything here.. WHY are you doing this to me.. the more you do this.. the More I will be hurting in inside.. YOU know that I am little.. with such no Power.. I have no strength but YOU have all the strong People around YOU.. who also decided to choose YOU to be the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have all the troops.. even the people all.. I would see the People.. common people.. they all fallen on the Floor.. and People.. the common people.. when they see YOU.. they would shout OUT with the loud VOICE.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and People are on the Floor.. on the knees looking at the ground.. and I am standing here.. SO touched.. winning the Hearts of many people.. in the Palace and Out with the Common people.. YOU have won as the Next and I know that YOU WILL DO great.. that is why Now.. YOU have no need for me to be here.. because YOU have taken the seat to RULE.. and I told YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will not kiss Your hand.. if YOU are asking me to come.. and be your subject.. and wants me to kiss YOUR HAND.. that is why I rather leave.. I would live in the deep of the forest and into the mountains.. I will not be known to YOU anymore.. and I see YOU coming very closer.. and your hand touch my shoulder Blade.. and I hear the word Stay.. and I turn around to face YOU.. HOW can I stay with YOU if YOU want me to kiss that Hand.. I told you I just can't.. if YOU want me to be Your Subject.. I want to live a different life.. I can't spend the rest of my Life just standing here.. Unable to say.. unable to tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I am Not going to live the rest of my life.. just wishing because I just can't.. why
I am looking for something.. I look at the Glass Jar.. I have set in on the floor.. I been asking YOU that I need your Heart.. as I would wait.. there is no answer on the other side.. so I know that I must keep waiting.. as I am holding the Glass jar.. which it changes to a new place.. I was in the room.. but I decided to walk Out.. and I been looking back.. thinking back when I was at my Room.. sitting on the floor.. looking through the Glass jar.. which was empty.. Now I must walk off.. I am now sitting Out side.. sitting by the shore.. I just love the waters.. I would drive alone.. and come to this One spot.. where I am able to get Out of the Car.. and I am able to sit.. this One Lake.. and I would watch the waters.. so Peaceful and Nice out.. I would always bring a Bottle.. and with me is the Shot Glass next to the Bottle.. and I would sit still.. I would be looking at your Picture.. makes me think more of you when I am by the Lake.. of course I know that I am not going to find you near.. but.. knowing you are so Far.. I still feel like YOU are near.. as Long as I have your picture in my hand.. and I am able to tell YOU some how.. How I feel this very night.. I would be asking for Your Heart.. I even brought the Empty Glass jar.. I know that your Heart can't fit in this Empty Glass Jar.. I know YOU have a Big Heart.. But I still want Your Heart.. I would be sitting down.. looking at your Picture.. my Chest burns when my eyes looks at YOU.. holding your Picture in my Heart.. Can I please imagine that YOU are here.. Can YOU please tell me that I can close both of my eyes and say that YOU are here.. that YOU are near.. but when both of my eyes are opened.. I know that YOU are gone.. leaving this space between us.. this distance which makes me even miss YOU more.. when Can I see YOU.. when will you ever be close to me.. Do you know the times when we can see each Other.. but every time I close my eyes and I imagine.. I know that I feel you so close.. so Near to me.. that I want my arms to hold YOU.. Hold you close and tight.. and I want to tell your ears.. How much I missed YOU.. ever since the day One.. I have been missing you ever since.. Please.. tell me that YOU are near.. I would grab your Picture.. and I would keep on looking at YOU.. this Picture.. it burns my Chest.. Burns like I put my hand on the stove.. and I can feel the fire burning.. it hurts when My chest burns.. like I get too many chest pains.. I get a lot of chest pains when I look at your picture.. I wonder why.. I want to stop these pains I get.. my chest hurts.. and I can feel my Heart screaming from inside.. I can Hear my Heart hurting.. with Chest pains of asking me.. WHY does my Heart keep on hurting.. only if my eyes can stop looking at your picture.. I know it can stop all these attacks in my Heart causing my Chest to Burn.. I just want to drop my Heart.. maybe Toss my Heart into the lake where the Waters are near to cool my Heart down.. But.. I don't want to lose my Heart.. I need my Heart so that I can love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU when I have my Heart close to Me.. as I would be looking at the Bottle.. I open the top of the lid.. I know that I should stop drinking.. the more I drink by taking shots.. the More I miss YOU and wish that you are here.. I would be wondering.. when I can I see you.. when will it be the day where I don't have to miss YOU.. and stop these pains.. these aching of longing for your presence.. to Hold YOU.. Hold you in my arms and to look at Your Heart.. I am going to be looking for your Heart to tell YOUR Heart.. look what you have done to my Heart.. Keep on missing YOU.. I would place the shot Glass close.. and pour the bottle into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. as my hand grabs the Shot Glass.. I would open my mouth.. and take a Shot.. I wonder if this is going to cool my Chest down.. but It burns as it goes in.. I can feel the burning and this ache just won't go away.. my hand grabs your Picture and I would look at your Picture.. why do YOU have to be so far from me.. I know that I be missing YOU like crazy.. when I look at your Picture.. sitting by the lake.. looking at the waters.. Looking at the stars.. asking the Moon.. I want wings.. I need wings.. Please give me two wings.. so that I don't have to be suffering like this.. and taking shots.. and keep on missing YOU.. How do I get me two wings.. I know that be the fastest way for me to get to YOU.. so that I don't have to miss you.. whenever I miss YOU.. I know that the two wings can help me.. lift me Out of this Misery.. so even from the distance.. looking at you from distance and able to see YOU.. I think the missing YOU will go away.. but when YOU are sitting here out by yourself.. and knowing there is a space and distance and my eyes can't see YOU.. On this very Night.. I would start to think of YOU more and more.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to hold YOU.. I want to hear Your voice.. your laughter.. I want to see your expression when I am near YOU.. what would you do If I was near YOU.. and knowing how much I love YOU.. what would you do if I am able to get me two wings.. I am able to fly over and just to see YOU.. because of missing YOU.. would you let me stay by your side.. would you push me away.. or would you greet me with a smile.. because I don't want to show UP if you think that I am a creep.. if I would scare you when my intentions.. my motives is all about loving YOU and telling YOU how much I love YOU.. I only want to show up to tell YOU that.. Not asking for anything More.. would you open your Heart to receive.. accept how much I love YOU.. or are you going to tell me to get Lost and push me out of the way.. I want to be near so that I can tell YOU I can be gentle.. and be more tender.. and too tell Your Heart.. showing YOU the Picture.. the picture of YOU.. and holding the empty Glass Jar.. that I been waiting for Your Heart.. that I want Your Heart.. and this is the proof.. that there is nothing more in this world I want.. but I need your Heart.. all I need is your Heart and to show YOU the Empty Glass jar.. and the reason why I have brought it empty.. to show YOU,, I want what is inside of YOU.. that is Your Heart.. Nothing more.. and I would wait.. wait for Your answer.. and I will show YOU the two Wings.. this is the wings I have received when I was sitting by the shore.. I was at the Lake.. looking at the waters.. and I would show YOU the picture.. I know that this picture belongs to YOU.. but I had to keep it for myself.. ever since I have seen your Picture.. I just got lost by Your Beauty.. by your presences.. and I knew.. YOU are the only One for Me.. so Please.. take my word as being so true.. so real.. because it is My Heart.. coming from my Heart.. Now.. ever since I got this Picture.. I just could not keep away.. I wanted you close.. I wanted you near to myself.. I am so sorry if I have your Picture.. I am so sorry for looking at your picture and falling in love with Your Beauty.. YOU know that YOU are so Beautiful.. there is NO Other words I can say to YOU but to say.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. when I look at YOU.. and I see you smile.. whenever I see your Smile.. I feel like a foot kicks my Heart.. very hard it kicks that I feel my Chest Burns.. and keeps on burning.. But I just can't keep it to myself.. I just can't help it but to share.. to tell YOU.. I need Your Heart.. so that I know for sure I can really Love YOU.. as I would pull out a Note.. with me is a Pen.. and I would start to write on this note.. LOOKING at Your Picture.. grabbing the BOTTLE and pouring into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. I pick UP the Shot Glass and I would take a SHOT at it.. placing the Shot Glass on the ground next to the Bottle.. I can feel it.. I can feel my Heart.. It tells me that My Heart is burning.. it is burning me from the inside.. I needs to take a breathe.. because YOU are taking my Breathe away.. as I am looking at the Note.. writing with the Pen.. telling YOU that I miss YOU.. when can I see YOU.. It burns me.. giving me Chest pains because I am missing YOU.. over and over again.. I keep on missing YOU.. will this Note goes to YOU.. if I put this Note in this Bottle.. I wonder how far the current of this water can push the Bottle through.. will it goes to YOU.. will you receive this Message that I wrote on the Note in this Bottle.. if the Current of the waters are strong enough to let this Bottle goes across.. I want this Message in the bottle to go to YOU.. I don't want another hand grabbing this Bottle because it is all written to tell YOU How Much I love YOU.. and How much I miss YOU.. I don't think it can go far.. I don't want the wrong person.. wrong hand
Walk and hear the sound of the creator calling you
Sounds like majoring in Minor Things and minoring in Major Things.
Cute.
keeping a log every how many minutes? seriously?? wow, keeping a log would be my biggest distraction of the day. no thank you. otherwise, great info. thank you for the video!!