Imagine invading some primitive backwater hell world and the funky primates you're fighting literally fucking nuke a ship into orbit just to fight you.
"Hey, 'member those millions of Ruskies you massacred? They made a hyperspace battle ship. Yep, they did. It's designed to be able to pass through a star just in case they mess up on the navigation a little bit. Makes it tougher than hell, but a wee bit slower than our American ones. How much slower? Well, I think you might have... uh... 20 minutes until they get here. Us? Oh, we've got a bet - Davey here thinks you're going to evacuate some kinda "Noble Caste" or something like that, and let everyone else die. Me, I think you're just going to panic and no one will escape. We bet a whole FIVE DOLLARS on it, so good luck! He's rootin' for ya!"
Carl found a full 6 pack of unopened beer, and it's the good stuff! He betting you use the women and children as shields! Please don't, I hope you have some morals, or at least more than he thinks.
@@Rekhan4242 yeah but Mike there thinks they will all commit mass suicide.. I put my money on they will throw themselves down and beg for mercy .... i bet next months paycheck... i hate barracks food so please surrender ...
Steve bet $100 that the Ruskies ram the ship straight into your capital city at full speed. I thought he was crazy or making a joke, but... I've met a few Russians since this shit show kicked off. You might wanna hurry.
Moral of the story: When you go to invade a planet make sure your reconnaissance does actual reconnaissance and not just take a look see for best landing spots. Because honestly dismissing the giant steel ships with artillery as "just like it's land counterparts" on a planet of mostly water, is just asking for trouble... I mean we literally fought each other tooth and nail over the land, did they really think we wouldn't do the same over swathes of water?
Ah yes, let's give humanity a shared enemy immediately after they had another global war. May you enjoy the sheer amount of guns we have at our disposal. Especially when we let the Battleships have fun. Also, you should be very jumpy about the USS Texas. She might gangster lean to boost her firing arcs.
Brute forcing a battleship into orbit is such a human thing to do. I love it when humans are the dangerous species instead of things like klingons or orcs
IF IT LOOKS STUPID BUT IT WORKS IT AINT STUPID That being said the Orion drive probably was about the only thing they had which could put a several thousand ton warship into space, and certainly the has the most "Fight like a man" vibe to it.
@@Egilhelmson Correct authors, wrong book. It's called Footfall, the one with the alien invasion and the Archangel eventually launching to chase after the single massive colony ship. Whereas Lucifer's Hammer is a cataclysmic survival novel involving a comet crashing into Earth, but no alien invasion. Just humans being human in the face of global collapse (ie, China launching nuclear strikes to kill millions of Soviets before they can flood into the country, and the remnants of the US resorting to cannibalism)
This should be a Stellaris event. You invade primitives, they hold on due to some difference in habitability, they clone your tech, and spawn with a fleet as Fanatic Purifiers, with "Become the Crisis" ascension perk unlocked.
Battleships are very obsolete… and also my favorite. Our truly ancient ones had huge clocks on top of them so multiple ships can fire at a single target. Each ship would fire rounds that smoked different colors. All ships fire, clocks start. When each ship sees their color hit water, stop clock. The ship who’s color was closest, has the closest range guess. If your ship landed a hit, all other ships look at your clock, without radios… all friendly ships now have the exact correct range data just by looking at each other’s clocks… next volley will likely sink the target.
@@crashstudi0s if two ships land a hit, their clocks will be stopped at very identical ranges. The enemy is Bracketed. There will be no more missing. Ships of the line fought battles of math. Brute force and brains.
technically those are called Range Clocks. rather than telling time, they indicate how far the ship was aiming. that way, if a ship managed to hit a target, the entire battleline could see the range and direction of the guns (turrets would also have hash marks indicating bearing) and given the trig between ship A, the target, and you, figure out where to fire to also hit.
@@matthewklestinski7030 The crazy thing is that Orion drives are still technically viable as they are pound for pound more efficient than rocket fuel. IIRC the only reason Project Orion was cancelled was due to the ban on atmospheric testing of nukes.
@@SrirangNabartheHerobrine right now our infrastructure is so fragile a nuke would only have to be in the stratosphere to destroy modern Life. Sure the military is shielded but way too many things would crash all at once. The Orion drive sounds like one way ticket.
@@TheAchilles26 well now I want a short story where the aliens discuss why we created a ship that used chemical slingshot launch, turbines, buzz jet, scramjet, ramjet, chemical rockets, Orion drive, ion scoops, and antimatter conversion just to get out of the solar system slightly faster.
Be them strong alien race with spaceships: hehe monkeys Multiple floaty boys with anger management issues and a multitude of boomsticks: and I took that personally
There was a sci-fi novel called Footfall which involves an alien invasion... and part of our response is to build a Project Orion ship that cannibalized 2 of the turrets from USS New Jersey as part of its armament.
Another series by John Ringo has a battle station being powered by an Orion drive. One alien cheered thinking that their forces missiles are getting through the defenses, then goes mad as he realises that the battle station was getting closer.
@@anonymouspersonthefake build destroyers so quickly and in such numbers that one could theoretically DROWN the enemy in numbers, by the end of WW2 the US was cranking out ships faster than anyone else
@@anonymouspersonthefake Fletcher was a class of destroyer just coming into service at the start of WW2 we ended up building like 200 plus of them. Mind you most destroyer classes had maybe 20 or 30 hulls. It was literally a swarm of tin cans
So much so, that at one point, the US Navy reputedly begged Congress to stop pouring so much money into new ship construction, as they didn't have enough recruits to man all the Fletchers and Gearings that were being ordered.
This story takes place right after WWII concluded. Project Orion hadn't even been dreamed up yet IRL. I'm amazed they were built this quickly, especially given how big and heavy the early atomic weapons were compared to newer ones even built just ten years later. That being said, I was honestly expecting Earth to start space combat segment with surface-to-orbit plasma guns, not Orion battleships.
actually it's undetermined when the war took place. we know nuclear weapons used and a war torn europe. sure it might have been wwii but i suspect wwiii. there are still a couple functional battleships in the world [although any real numbers of them would indicate wwii]
Xenos: "Hah! your aircraft are no match for our missiles!" US: "...Restart the Battleship program." USS Illinois has entered the match USS Kentucky has entered the match "So, new weapons? Well, guess we'll just adjust an extant design" USS Montana has entered the match USS Ohio has entered the match USS Maine has entered the match USS New Hampshire has entered the match USS Louisiana has entered the match "They're in space? No problem." USS Florida has entered the match [Or whichever state you prefer that isn't already taken. But c'mon, what other state would be crazy enough to ride nuclear explosions into space?]
@@Maddog3060 You think Idaho wouldn't jump at the chance to show up the Dakota's and be the first Mid-West state to ride Nukes into Orbit? They'd spray paint "Orogon" over "Idaho" on the old one and pay however many potatoes it took to get the new one built before anyone realized that there was an E missing in Oregon.
the really silly hfy stories are super enjoyable to listen to XD every time i hear one like this i think of a series on yt talking about space travel races that were too stupid to have survived as long as they did.
This sounds like it occurred after the Bismark, Tirpitz and Yamato were sunk. Can you imagine the amount off ass kicking they would have given these attackers in terms of AAA? Lol I hope we get a followup on the invasion story.
@@riverraven7359 It specifically states in the opening paragraph of the story, "With only one of it's nations POSSESSING Atomic weaponry..." US didn't possess working atomic weaponry until 1945 when the first bomb was tested. That means WW2. Doesn't matter how long atomic theory had been around, nobody actually *had* atomic weaponry until WW2.
"Let me get this straight: YOU attempted to invade and subjugate a primitive species, which is VERY ILLEGAL by the way, while they were weakened from a major war? And the second they turned the tide of battle (snicker), you ran with your tails between your legs and are now begging US for help?" '...Yes...?' "(Picks up communicator) Yes, hi, remind me to arrange a diplomatic meeting with these humans with the next four cycles. Uh huh. Thank you. (Cuts the vid feed and hangs up)"
A rising power story for humanity, where we survived one of the Great Filters by alien invader, and got a massive tech up. In a time period where we didn't get to settle in for what would become the Cold War, and knowing life out there exists and wants us dead, is a great unifier for us all to focus on.
@@micheallinne3159 a) USA was most powerful only after 2nd WW. It's position was much weaker before; b) you can't compare being at war on your land and at war thousands of miles away. Why do you think US' military complex is geared towards ALWAYS exporting war? Because then you destroy infrastructure and manufacturing somewhere else while yours is kept intact.
Yeah, I don't understand how they could have invaded multiple planets before Earth without having any weaponry able to penetrate a meter of steel on hand at all times. Does nobody else use bunkers? You're invading an entire planet. Bring out the heavy weaponry lmao.
@@Boomchacle That is, until the space manager of the militairy budget comes along and hammers in cutbacks and *material guidelines* to improve efficiency(lower costs)
@@charchadonto A 100 kilogram shaped charge can punch a clean hole through over a meter of steel. If you are capable of invading a planet, there's no excuse to not have some level of anti armor weaponry.
@@redman7775 Why would they continue to fight at a serious disadvantage instead of cobbling something together? Surely they expected some form of underground bunker or the such. Just repurpose one of those and use it as an anti ship weapon.
It really is odd how rarely you see nuclear pulse propulsion-drives in HFY stories, seeing as it's just about the most space orc concept we ever dreamed up as a species
Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo I don't think there was a good time to invade Earth, but "right after World War 2" strikes me as a particularly bad time. And now, *we're coming for you*
Day one of subscription. In order to save what few socks I have remaining in my possession and abate the gluttonous onslaught of the swarm, I have finally subscribed. (The dungeon life series also played into it to be fair, as well as the quality of the rest of the stories.) Contrary to what I expected the nanite swarm did not leave and has tin at the far side of my room. Thankfully I do not go over there much, and the swarm doesn't seem to eat anything but socks.
Because there were no bombs or dynamite left on the European continent after WW2? For reference: The biggest artillery in WW2 used 800 mm ammunition. Far exceeding a typical main cannon found on a battleship.
@Eric Nunya Now you just got to account for all the other artillery, dynamite and other types of explosives people can use. Roadside bombs is a pretty simple concept. Some of the most heavily armored tanks got taken out by improvised sticky bombs.
It’s because space debris travels at velocities similar to kinetic weapons, and any long term space travel will require the ability to survive hits with that level of impact frequently with potentially much greater velocities.
Well given that judging by the story this takes place just after WWII I think it's plausible that a space faring race with advanced technology has the capacity to make body armor that can deflect or absorb impacts from 1940s era weapons firing 9mm, 30-06 and 45acp.
Harry Turtledove explored a similar theme in the short story "The Road Not Taken." However in that story discovering faster than light travel locks civilizations in 16th century technology in just about everything else. So you can imagine what happens when musket wielding aliens invade.
I think the main weakness of the aliens (or maybe the author) was that they did not think of jamming the primitive radio transmissions of World War II-era communications devices. This would have stopped the sending of coordinates rapidly from the forward artillery observers to the off-shore battleships. Of course, the humans at that time also were aware of radio interference so they would already have alternative back-up systems like underground or surface telephone cables and the use of heliographs, signal flags (semaphores), and blinker lights, so I don't think even that would have prevented the humans from accurately directing the fire of the battleships to the alien ground forces. It wouldn't be very timely or speedy, however. Another story weakness I observed was the use of direct-fire plasma cannons versus ground targets that are behind a hill or mound. A thick clump of plain dirt is one of the best armor defenses ever used and humans are well aware of how to dig defensively to avoid incoming fire, even against plasma beams. It seems the aliens aren't used to digging or using trenches and foxholes defensively or using dips and depressions in terrain for offensive maneuvers. In three-dimensional open space or atmosphere, plasma beams rule but against ground targets, such line-of-sight weapons would be harder to aim against an army sheltering behind earthworks. It's not stated in the story but it seems as if the aliens didn't dig into the ground or camouflage their ground-based defenses but just emplaced them above-ground and depended on their manufactured armor plating as their sole protection. Anyway, this story proves the maxim that a half-ton supersonic steel projectile that obeys the laws of gravity is a very effective way to destroy armies on land.
Ehh, I wouldn't say this is WW2 definitely not, It's likely early cold war my guess is like mid-late 50s and early 60s if you want a general time frame, though the 60s doesn't make much since sense human jets by that time would already have the ability to break the sound barrier, and more then that, so if you want my guess. I would say this story takes place in the mid 50s, it makes sense given the tech.
ET: Humanity! War or peace here we conquer! Hu: Give us you biggest gun. Or any gun. Armour is also OK. But guns are preferred the bigger the better. ET: Ah what? Hu: Do we speak latin? Guns! NOW! ET: Uhm war, threatening humanity and such? Hu: Yes Yes. War and you're in pieces... Guns or else! ET: I think we ... What's that lump of metal, coming really fast?
Only problem, they probably wouldn't know that there would be a difference in lake and ocean vessels... they have no experience with it so wouldn't know the new issues.
I believe they would, as any captain that piloted a vessel designed for lakes and rivers would most likely balk at taking their vessel into an area where observable wave heights can reach between 15-20 meters in heavy weather. Ships designed for small bodies of water are rarely designed for that sort of turbulence
Reminds me of the world war series by harry turtledove, great books that tell the story of something extremely similar happening. Aliens invading humanity during wwii and being surprised by them over and over again. Can only recommend them to everyone
@@sethgilcrist8088 honestly never read it. Know basic story from a Sg-1/Battlestar Galactica/WorldWar crossover in which the Race arrives at earth post season 10 of SG-1
Aliens after conquering Europe and Asia they forgot that they had orbital bombardment capabilities for their invasion of north america. Then further forgot to use their bombardment capabilities against large human formations retaking Europe and Asia.
Has to be some odd alternate reality... The US had SAMs in production since 54 and the SU since 57, and the SU had not only "regular" but also hydrogen bombs since 53...
@@ceilyurie856 I don't think so. Considering what amount and "caliber" of amunitions and delivery systems was available in that time frame (after the biggest 20th cent conflict) at that very location, the only "realistic" options are an alternate time line or, much less flattering, a serious lack of historical knowledge of the author. And since it's HFY I'll go with the 1st option...
@@johnnymellon7414 Well note the fact in the story the humans capture enemy equipment. Considering what was actively being developed during WWII combined with captured alien equipment that confirms a few theories to reverse engineer it would not be hard to jump a couple of decades or more on the tech tree. Heck, considering someone managed to get Doom to run on a graphing calculator powered by a baked potato battery I would not underestimate mankind and its ability to reverse engineer then cobble something together.
Chunks of this are more than a little reminiscent of the Niven/Pournelle novel "Footfall", particularly the conclusion with an attack by a heavily armed and armoured Orion drive spacecraft.
even if their atmospheric fighters had only light high explosive bombs, the damage they could do the a battleship's upper works and fire control interments would force a battleship into dock for repairs for a few mouths at lest making the easy targets for orbital bombardment.
I think everyone is forgetting that during the world wars, we're using full sized rifle rounds, like rounds made to drop moose and elk..... 30-06 and .30 caliber fucks....a lot
As much as i like battleships... There are none in Europe and the only seaworthy examples being the Iowa class would need a 2 to 4 year multibillion dollar refit to make them combat capable again according to the curator for USS New Jersey. Aside from Russia and the US I can't think of any other nation operating cruisers. Sad to say, the best you're going to get would be a 5 inch gun from frigates and destroyers
@@TheAchilles26 Nah, they just haven't borrowed the scientists yet. Both the USSR and the USA took in scientists from Germany, nuclear scientists included, and used them to advance their respective weapons development.
The aliens would easily nuke the shit out of old battleships lmao. If the battleships were such a problem, they should have just brought some guided bunker buster bombs from their homeworld.
based on the good captain thoughts, the idea never cross their minds, the Battleships where able to shrug off their bombers and Orbital strikes aren't accurate enough, there also possibly that the initial planners for the invasion didn't consider that they would need something like due to the the other Advantages they had. this would also explain why H-Bombs and A-Bombs aren't mentions as they might not be worth the effect to clean up after it also possible that Bunker weren't a concept to them, therefore they didn't have a counter for them.
@@lostShadowLord You're telling me that aliens planned a land invasion upon an entire god damn planet and not one of them brought with them guided munitions designed to penetrate land based bunkers? They had air superority, ground superority, and orbital superority. Someone could have cobbled together a bomb with a steel sheath around it to penetrate the thin top deck armor of a battleship.
@@lostShadowLord It wouldn't be that hard for them to do a saturation strike from orbit. Kinetic strikes from orbit can easily match nukes in terms of the amount of damage they can unleash on a target and a 20 kiloton blast is enough to lay waste to a fleet. Of course they would be limited on how many strategic-level orbital strikes they can pull off because they had to haul all of that with them to Earth.
Actually, the USN would test nukes against surface vessels... and they're complete and utter shit outside of 'kissing the enemy' (for naval warfare) ranges. Look up the Revolt of the Admirals and the nuclear tests they conducted.
Good story, I like humanity placed in a good light. Normally Hollywood makes movies where humanity fails in epic proportions, recall the New Outer Limits where humanity was at war with an alien race, and we lost the war. There are other short stories and animations just as bad for humanity, too.
I'm going say this they had heavily lost for 2 year statement. I think we where slowly learning and replicating the tech in those two years and capturing more tech is always good. It was more like 3.5 to 5 years of learning the advance tech. To even longer since they went east first.
In the centre of Europe, during ALL of this, there were a group of people sitting, sipping on beer, and saying: "We only JUST tried this. Didn't go well. Boy, these aliens fracked up..."
Somehow I can see the USS Iowa in space going ham on some alien space ships. Brings a smile to my face just thinking of it. Even better if it would have been a Montana class battleship
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 86 | คู่เอก "คมเพชร vs ชาติพยัคฆ์"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/m3q_dRYDuU8/mqdefault.jpg)
Many many years ago Monkey threw rock and earth trembled,
Many many years later Monkey threw battleship and the stars trembled
Nice
Moral of the story, Be Monke, never leave Monke
@@oscarpalacios7828 RETURN TO MONKE
@@oscarpalacios7828 Human are monkeys.
Moral of the story don't f*** with Monk
Imagine invading some primitive backwater hell world and the funky primates you're fighting literally fucking nuke a ship into orbit just to fight you.
Sounds like a thing orks would do.
WAAAGH time
Got me cackling
@@platinumchromee3191 What do you think humans are?
Project Orion moment
@@TheAKgunner orc but not green
"Hey, 'member those millions of Ruskies you massacred? They made a hyperspace battle ship. Yep, they did. It's designed to be able to pass through a star just in case they mess up on the navigation a little bit. Makes it tougher than hell, but a wee bit slower than our American ones. How much slower? Well, I think you might have... uh... 20 minutes until they get here. Us? Oh, we've got a bet - Davey here thinks you're going to evacuate some kinda "Noble Caste" or something like that, and let everyone else die. Me, I think you're just going to panic and no one will escape. We bet a whole FIVE DOLLARS on it, so good luck! He's rootin' for ya!"
Carl found a full 6 pack of unopened beer, and it's the good stuff! He betting you use the women and children as shields! Please don't, I hope you have some morals, or at least more than he thinks.
@@Rekhan4242 yeah but Mike there thinks they will all commit mass suicide.. I put my money on they will throw themselves down and beg for mercy .... i bet next months paycheck... i hate barracks food so please surrender ...
Tony just walked in, he's being defeatist and telling you there's nothing you can do except run! You might listen!
Hans bets your leaders will kill themselves while hiding in their bunker. Says that’s what his leader did.
Steve bet $100 that the Ruskies ram the ship straight into your capital city at full speed. I thought he was crazy or making a joke, but... I've met a few Russians since this shit show kicked off.
You might wanna hurry.
Moral of the story: When you go to invade a planet make sure your reconnaissance does actual reconnaissance and not just take a look see for best landing spots. Because honestly dismissing the giant steel ships with artillery as "just like it's land counterparts" on a planet of mostly water, is just asking for trouble... I mean we literally fought each other tooth and nail over the land, did they really think we wouldn't do the same over swathes of water?
Well we made floating cities full of pissed off soldiers who want to go kill something already! Then we put an airport on top, because why not!
With Cutlass and with Canon we fought for hours three! Blow High! Blow Low! And so sailed we!
Xenos invade Earth.
Humans: "Oooh! New toys!"
Basically.
Humans: your tech,hand it over.
@@platinumchromee3191 give them a Davy Jones tone:
THE TECH. HAND THEM OVA'
The US: hmmm these aren't oil but they are guns and other such military equipment. Hey Kelly Johnson what can you make of these?
All youre technology is now belong to us
Ah yes, let's give humanity a shared enemy immediately after they had another global war. May you enjoy the sheer amount of guns we have at our disposal. Especially when we let the Battleships have fun. Also, you should be very jumpy about the USS Texas. She might gangster lean to boost her firing arcs.
An intellectual, I see!
Lol, I've never heard of anyone referring to the USS Texas maneuver as a gangster lean. You're not wrong tho
@@TheBenBen253 Check out The Fat Electrician’s video on the Texas. In fact, subscribe to him. He’s great!
Imagine this, if they had issues fighting humans 'just' after the 2nd world war, how would they do before or during it?
Funny thing is I was actually imagining the USS Texas while writing the story.
Brute forcing a battleship into orbit is such a human thing to do. I love it when humans are the dangerous species instead of things like klingons or orcs
Dangerous but not overpowered is honestly the best
Space Battleship Yamato 2199 moment
Oh, Orcs ARE dangerous. We're just the reason they need to be.
Humans ARE orcs
If at first you don't success get a bigger hammer.
Not often you see the Navy of the oceans get love on HFY's. I love it!
They fired up a space battleship powered by a ORION Drive IN ATMOSPHERE!? Absolute mad lads, I love it!
And they thought MAC rounds in atmosphere was crazy...
IF IT LOOKS STUPID
BUT IT WORKS
IT AINT STUPID
That being said the Orion drive probably was about the only thing they had which could put a several thousand ton warship into space, and certainly the has the most "Fight like a man" vibe to it.
Like Battleship Yamato or the ship from Niven and Pournelle’s Lucifer’s Hammer.
@@Egilhelmson Correct authors, wrong book. It's called Footfall, the one with the alien invasion and the Archangel eventually launching to chase after the single massive colony ship. Whereas Lucifer's Hammer is a cataclysmic survival novel involving a comet crashing into Earth, but no alien invasion. Just humans being human in the face of global collapse (ie, China launching nuclear strikes to kill millions of Soviets before they can flood into the country, and the remnants of the US resorting to cannibalism)
That was in the original project poposal but only as a contingency measure. Orion was supposed to be built in orbit.
This should be a Stellaris event.
You invade primitives, they hold on due to some difference in habitability, they clone your tech, and spawn with a fleet as Fanatic Purifiers, with "Become the Crisis" ascension perk unlocked.
That would be GREAT to watch my big bro try to take care of it
Is it just me or does the fish tank add some kind of weird serenity even when hearing about things being blown up and turned to craters?
It's a good ascetic choice
It very fitting. The purple thing looks like a UFO.
Battleships are very obsolete… and also my favorite. Our truly ancient ones had huge clocks on top of them so multiple ships can fire at a single target. Each ship would fire rounds that smoked different colors.
All ships fire, clocks start. When each ship sees their color hit water, stop clock. The ship who’s color was closest, has the closest range guess. If your ship landed a hit, all other ships look at your clock, without radios… all friendly ships now have the exact correct range data just by looking at each other’s clocks… next volley will likely sink the target.
That's pretty clever and ingenious
@@crashstudi0s if two ships land a hit, their clocks will be stopped at very identical ranges.
The enemy is Bracketed.
There will be no more missing.
Ships of the line fought battles of math. Brute force and brains.
technically those are called Range Clocks. rather than telling time, they indicate how far the ship was aiming. that way, if a ship managed to hit a target, the entire battleline could see the range and direction of the guns (turrets would also have hash marks indicating bearing) and given the trig between ship A, the target, and you, figure out where to fire to also hit.
@@trinalgalaxy5943 what on earth makes you think anyone thought they were for telling time?
@@TheGelatinousSnake your comment is worded as exactly that.
Love how we just casually start using fission bombs as propellant for a battleship instead of ICBMs.
Orion drive - oh yes, we would definitely be using it.
@@matthewklestinski7030 The crazy thing is that Orion drives are still technically viable as they are pound for pound more efficient than rocket fuel. IIRC the only reason Project Orion was cancelled was due to the ban on atmospheric testing of nukes.
@@SrirangNabartheHerobrine right now our infrastructure is so fragile a nuke would only have to be in the stratosphere to destroy modern Life. Sure the military is shielded but way too many things would crash all at once. The Orion drive sounds like one way ticket.
@@johnsandoval2158, just gotta use something else until you're past the magnetic field, then the Orion drive is fine
@@TheAchilles26 well now I want a short story where the aliens discuss why we created a ship that used chemical slingshot launch, turbines, buzz jet, scramjet, ramjet, chemical rockets, Orion drive, ion scoops, and antimatter conversion just to get out of the solar system slightly faster.
An HFY story that’s also an alternate history story? That’s a combo as great as chocolate and peanut butter!
Be them strong alien race with spaceships: hehe monkeys
Multiple floaty boys with anger management issues and a multitude of boomsticks: and I took that personally
I love stories like this.
Humanity clawing its way to the stars, either to avenge or defend their race, or other race(s) entirely.
In the words of the legendary skulker
"You Talkin mad shit for some very solid grid coordinates"
Edit: 12:07 oh dang, ERA is actually useful for once
Bring that stern here boi
ERA is always useful lol
@@argokarrus2731 ...40% of the time
Oh my god the reference to project Orion took me by surprise too LMAO this was great
There was a sci-fi novel called Footfall which involves an alien invasion... and part of our response is to build a Project Orion ship that cannibalized 2 of the turrets from USS New Jersey as part of its armament.
Another series by John Ringo has a battle station being powered by an Orion drive. One alien cheered thinking that their forces missiles are getting through the defenses, then goes mad as he realises that the battle station was getting closer.
They had this concept of: "Fletcher Swarm". We have no idea of this is, but if it were to become a space based concept, then we will all be doomed.
ok, what IS a fletcher swarm?
@@anonymouspersonthefake build destroyers so quickly and in such numbers that one could theoretically DROWN the enemy in numbers, by the end of WW2 the US was cranking out ships faster than anyone else
@@anonymouspersonthefake Fletcher was a class of destroyer just coming into service at the start of WW2 we ended up building like 200 plus of them. Mind you most destroyer classes had maybe 20 or 30 hulls. It was literally a swarm of tin cans
@@Krieg-ch8ot The most famous of which were in Taffy 3
So much so, that at one point, the US Navy reputedly begged Congress to stop pouring so much money into new ship construction, as they didn't have enough recruits to man all the Fletchers and Gearings that were being ordered.
The good old Orion project to the rescue again!
This story takes place right after WWII concluded. Project Orion hadn't even been dreamed up yet IRL. I'm amazed they were built this quickly, especially given how big and heavy the early atomic weapons were compared to newer ones even built just ten years later.
That being said, I was honestly expecting Earth to start space combat segment with surface-to-orbit plasma guns, not Orion battleships.
Orion shall rise!!
Are you referring to a book? I have an Orion something or other, buried somewhere on my shelf.
actually it's undetermined when the war took place. we know nuclear weapons used and a war torn europe. sure it might have been wwii but i suspect wwiii. there are still a couple functional battleships in the world [although any real numbers of them would indicate wwii]
@@yomogami4561 Definitely WW2, considering humanity developed their first jet fighters part way through the story.
America, France, Brittan, and Russia: "Ah shit here we go again."
Germany: "Are we a joke to you?"
The rest of the world: "At this point?... Yes."
@@Kneb587 they missed the chance to ressurect the yamato
@@kelthuzad4634
I mean, do we know the name of the boat they nuked into orbit?
A shadow moves across the water in pursuit
It splits the waves, commands the sea, and defies the wind
I was just gonna comment this!!!😄
And the dreadnought fears nothing at all
Xenos: "Hah! your aircraft are no match for our missiles!"
US: "...Restart the Battleship program."
USS Illinois has entered the match
USS Kentucky has entered the match
"So, new weapons? Well, guess we'll just adjust an extant design"
USS Montana has entered the match
USS Ohio has entered the match
USS Maine has entered the match
USS New Hampshire has entered the match
USS Louisiana has entered the match
"They're in space? No problem."
USS Florida has entered the match
[Or whichever state you prefer that isn't already taken. But c'mon, what other state would be crazy enough to ride nuclear explosions into space?]
"But c'mon, what other state would be crazy enough to ride nuclear explosions into space?"
USS Idaho has entered the match
@@thatotherguy8138 Idaho already had a battleship named after it in the war: USS Idaho, BB-42, New Mexico-class "Standard" super-dreadnought.
@@Maddog3060 You think Idaho wouldn't jump at the chance to show up the Dakota's and be the first Mid-West state to ride Nukes into Orbit? They'd spray paint "Orogon" over "Idaho" on the old one and pay however many potatoes it took to get the new one built before anyone realized that there was an E missing in Oregon.
USS New Jersey smells more battlestars and gets refitted.
HMS Warspite personally rams half the alien fleet
USS New Mexico, the first of the Trinity ships
F.A.S.
Aliens: Let's fuck around ..
Earthlings: You're gonna find out.....
Damn, Project Orion realized and decades earlier than irl, only they actually built and used the sucker! Love it
the really silly hfy stories are super enjoyable to listen to XD
every time i hear one like this i think of a series on yt talking about space travel races that were too stupid to have survived as long as they did.
This sounds like it occurred after the Bismark, Tirpitz and Yamato were sunk. Can you imagine the amount off ass kicking they would have given these attackers in terms of AAA? Lol
I hope we get a followup on the invasion story.
When the Yamato blew up, it took several American planes with it. I wonder how much damage it could have done in orbit?
It doesn't actually specify ww2 , could just about be ww1.
@@riverraven7359 soviet union and nukes brah
@@kelthuzad4634 the Soviet Union was created after ww1 and atomic theory was around since the 1800's.
@@riverraven7359 It specifically states in the opening paragraph of the story, "With only one of it's nations POSSESSING Atomic weaponry..." US didn't possess working atomic weaponry until 1945 when the first bomb was tested. That means WW2. Doesn't matter how long atomic theory had been around, nobody actually *had* atomic weaponry until WW2.
"Let me get this straight: YOU attempted to invade and subjugate a primitive species, which is VERY ILLEGAL by the way, while they were weakened from a major war? And the second they turned the tide of battle (snicker), you ran with your tails between your legs and are now begging US for help?"
'...Yes...?'
"(Picks up communicator) Yes, hi, remind me to arrange a diplomatic meeting with these humans with the next four cycles. Uh huh. Thank you. (Cuts the vid feed and hangs up)"
A rising power story for humanity, where we survived one of the Great Filters by alien invader, and got a massive tech up.
In a time period where we didn't get to settle in for what would become the Cold War, and knowing life out there exists and wants us dead, is a great unifier for us all to focus on.
Lesson learned: Never invade a death world.
Though anyone who needs a lesson that includes not to invade something called a Death World probably sin'y going to heed the lesson anyway
Fun fact in 1944 the us accounted for 40% of all war materials produced in the world
Fun fact, not hard to achieve it when almost all civilised/industrialised world outside of US is having war within it's borders.
@@korinogaro but they were in fact both the most powerful countries, and at war, so yeah, its an achievement.
@@micheallinne3159 a) USA was most powerful only after 2nd WW. It's position was much weaker before; b) you can't compare being at war on your land and at war thousands of miles away. Why do you think US' military complex is geared towards ALWAYS exporting war? Because then you destroy infrastructure and manufacturing somewhere else while yours is kept intact.
@@korinogaro I said the other countries were most powerful. Not the us lol.
These aliens are rather silly, even if these battleships are 100% unstoppable you can just fly over them with your SPACESHIPS.
Yeah, I don't understand how they could have invaded multiple planets before Earth without having any weaponry able to penetrate a meter of steel on hand at all times. Does nobody else use bunkers? You're invading an entire planet. Bring out the heavy weaponry lmao.
@@Boomchacle That is, until the space manager of the militairy budget comes along and hammers in cutbacks and *material guidelines* to improve efficiency(lower costs)
@@charchadonto A 100 kilogram shaped charge can punch a clean hole through over a meter of steel. If you are capable of invading a planet, there's no excuse to not have some level of anti armor weaponry.
@@Boomchacle Didn't they say they left their AP rounds behind, as they thought their plasma weapons would be enough?
@@redman7775 Why would they continue to fight at a serious disadvantage instead of cobbling something together? Surely they expected some form of underground bunker or the such. Just repurpose one of those and use it as an anti ship weapon.
It really is odd how rarely you see nuclear pulse propulsion-drives in HFY stories, seeing as it's just about the most space orc concept we ever dreamed up as a species
Ah yes... The BATTLESHIP.
When you want to pick up a car, and thow it thirty km at 700 m/s.
"Son, I was aboard the battleship that nuked itself into space on purpose. Don't f*ck with me"
The battleship launch reads like an old Asmov story. Love it.
Battleship Yamato ost starts playing.
Aliens: "oh no"
*Space Battleship Yamato Theme Music Plays*
Greetings, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
I don't think there was a good time to invade Earth, but "right after World War 2" strikes me as a particularly bad time.
And now, *we're coming for you*
if this would be an alternate timeline, the xenos would be facing 10 yamato class battleships ahahahaha
Congrats aliens you're imitating germany. ... end well this will not.
I figured at the beginning the xenos were just standing for Nazi Germany. Basically followed what happened during ww2.
Learn why you never invade this death world, they will.
Day one of subscription.
In order to save what few socks I have remaining in my possession and abate the gluttonous onslaught of the swarm, I have finally subscribed. (The dungeon life series also played into it to be fair, as well as the quality of the rest of the stories.) Contrary to what I expected the nanite swarm did not leave and has tin at the far side of my room. Thankfully I do not go over there much, and the swarm doesn't seem to eat anything but socks.
I wondered where the little guys got to! :D
Cool. A little bit from different sci-fi books. I like the "Foot Fall" bit at the end.
Hold up! They were *nuke* surfing?! That’s gnarly brah!🤙
Because there were no bombs or dynamite left on the European continent after WW2? For reference: The biggest artillery in WW2 used 800 mm ammunition. Far exceeding a typical main cannon found on a battleship.
@Eric Nunya Now you just got to account for all the other artillery, dynamite and other types of explosives people can use. Roadside bombs is a pretty simple concept.
Some of the most heavily armored tanks got taken out by improvised sticky bombs.
I don’t know why but I feel attracted to any content related to battleships.
I don’t get it why all these stories make it seem like regular armor even magical sci-fi shields can take bullets like they’re nothing
It’s because space debris travels at velocities similar to kinetic weapons, and any long term space travel will require the ability to survive hits with that level of impact frequently with potentially much greater velocities.
Well given that judging by the story this takes place just after WWII I think it's plausible that a space faring race with advanced technology has the capacity to make body armor that can deflect or absorb impacts from 1940s era weapons firing 9mm, 30-06 and 45acp.
Harry Turtledove explored a similar theme in the short story "The Road Not Taken." However in that story discovering faster than light travel locks civilizations in 16th century technology in just about everything else. So you can imagine what happens when musket wielding aliens invade.
an Orion Drive Powered Battleship? that's utterly amazing.
Well, they're just gonna have to give up a few planets as consolation.
This absolutely needs a part 2.
Proud to be a Terran!
I think the main weakness of the aliens (or maybe the author) was that they did not think of jamming the primitive radio transmissions of World War II-era communications devices. This would have stopped the sending of coordinates rapidly from the forward artillery observers to the off-shore battleships. Of course, the humans at that time also were aware of radio interference so they would already have alternative back-up systems like underground or surface telephone cables and the use of heliographs, signal flags (semaphores), and blinker lights, so I don't think even that would have prevented the humans from accurately directing the fire of the battleships to the alien ground forces. It wouldn't be very timely or speedy, however.
Another story weakness I observed was the use of direct-fire plasma cannons versus ground targets that are behind a hill or mound. A thick clump of plain dirt is one of the best armor defenses ever used and humans are well aware of how to dig defensively to avoid incoming fire, even against plasma beams. It seems the aliens aren't used to digging or using trenches and foxholes defensively or using dips and depressions in terrain for offensive maneuvers. In three-dimensional open space or atmosphere, plasma beams rule but against ground targets, such line-of-sight weapons would be harder to aim against an army sheltering behind earthworks. It's not stated in the story but it seems as if the aliens didn't dig into the ground or camouflage their ground-based defenses but just emplaced them above-ground and depended on their manufactured armor plating as their sole protection. Anyway, this story proves the maxim that a half-ton supersonic steel projectile that obeys the laws of gravity is a very effective way to destroy armies on land.
Ehh, I wouldn't say this is WW2 definitely not, It's likely early cold war my guess is like mid-late 50s and early 60s if you want a general time frame, though the 60s doesn't make much since sense human jets by that time would already have the ability to break the sound barrier, and more then that, so if you want my guess. I would say this story takes place in the mid 50s, it makes sense given the tech.
ET: Humanity! War or peace here we conquer!
Hu: Give us you biggest gun. Or any gun. Armour is also OK. But guns are preferred the bigger the better.
ET: Ah what?
Hu: Do we speak latin? Guns! NOW!
ET: Uhm war, threatening humanity and such?
Hu: Yes Yes. War and you're in pieces... Guns or else!
ET: I think we ... What's that lump of metal, coming really fast?
Great work, Agro! Wonderful narration, I love it!
Only problem, they probably wouldn't know that there would be a difference in lake and ocean vessels... they have no experience with it so wouldn't know the new issues.
I believe they would, as any captain that piloted a vessel designed for lakes and rivers would most likely balk at taking their vessel into an area where observable wave heights can reach between 15-20 meters in heavy weather. Ships designed for small bodies of water are rarely designed for that sort of turbulence
I freaking love the idea of a battleship being launched into orbit by using nukes
Once again, project Orion kicks alien ass.
Reminds me of the world war series by harry turtledove, great books that tell the story of something extremely similar happening. Aliens invading humanity during wwii and being surprised by them over and over again. Can only recommend them to everyone
Then they discovered ginger.
@@kleinjahr yeah xD
Will there be more stories similar to this? Because it's freaking good to read!
I do plan on continuing the story some time in the future, so there might be a sequel to this ;)
This story is ver similar to Harry Turtledove “World War” series.
I was thinking the same thing
Very much so
They any good??
@@sethgilcrist8088 honestly never read it. Know basic story from a Sg-1/Battlestar Galactica/WorldWar crossover in which the Race arrives at earth post season 10 of SG-1
@@argentshrike516 good Lord
There is a new movie out - Battleship. STUPIDLY over the top, but also super enjoyable.
Thank you for the video.
So long and thanks for the Tech upgrade!
And indeed the aliens may rule space but Britania rules the waves.
I love the epic intro clip
Humanity at the end there was just like “I sunk my own battleship prepare to die!”
Note from an American: St. Louis isn't pronounced as the French Loo-ee, but as Loo-is. Just a small nitpick.
Aliens after conquering Europe and Asia they forgot that they had orbital bombardment capabilities for their invasion of north america.
Then further forgot to use their bombardment capabilities against large human formations retaking Europe and Asia.
Well, they obviously had some reason to do a land invasion, resources or something that an orbital strike would have risked.
Man it sure had MAD Skunks work vibe in background.
Hmm, this is like a short that's been inspired by the World War series by Harry Turtledove, so many similarities.
Indeed.
Has to be some odd alternate reality... The US had SAMs in production since 54 and the SU since 57, and the SU had not only "regular" but also hydrogen bombs since 53...
The invasion likely started within mere months of the end of WW2.
Maybe it was a year or two after?
THis probably occurred in 195-1950 I would guess
@@ceilyurie856 I don't think so. Considering what amount and "caliber" of amunitions and delivery systems was available in that time frame (after the biggest 20th cent conflict) at that very location, the only "realistic" options are an alternate time line or, much less flattering, a serious lack of historical knowledge of the author.
And since it's HFY I'll go with the 1st option...
@@johnnymellon7414 Well note the fact in the story the humans capture enemy equipment. Considering what was actively being developed during WWII combined with captured alien equipment that confirms a few theories to reverse engineer it would not be hard to jump a couple of decades or more on the tech tree.
Heck, considering someone managed to get Doom to run on a graphing calculator powered by a baked potato battery I would not underestimate mankind and its ability to reverse engineer then cobble something together.
Chunks of this are more than a little reminiscent of the Niven/Pournelle novel "Footfall", particularly the conclusion with an attack by a heavily armed and armoured Orion drive spacecraft.
This has the feel of a military report from the aliens in the "Battleship" Movie.
now i want a remake of ufo-aftershock with men of war play elements
even if their atmospheric fighters had only light high explosive bombs, the damage they could do the a battleship's upper works and fire control interments would force a battleship into dock for repairs for a few mouths at lest making the easy targets for orbital bombardment.
I think everyone is forgetting that during the world wars, we're using full sized rifle rounds, like rounds made to drop moose and elk..... 30-06 and .30 caliber fucks....a lot
As much as i like battleships... There are none in Europe and the only seaworthy examples being the Iowa class would need a 2 to 4 year multibillion dollar refit to make them combat capable again according to the curator for USS New Jersey.
Aside from Russia and the US I can't think of any other nation operating cruisers.
Sad to say, the best you're going to get would be a 5 inch gun from frigates and destroyers
This was set just after WWII so there would have been most of the American and British battleships as well as some Italian and French ones left.
Just after WW2, the Battleships of the world hadn't been scrapped yet. It still took 2 to 3 years for the first BB to be retired.
This is so shortly after WWII the Soviets hadn't stolen the atomic bomb yet
@@TheAchilles26 Nah, they just haven't borrowed the scientists yet. Both the USSR and the USA took in scientists from Germany, nuclear scientists included, and used them to advance their respective weapons development.
@@chrisdufresne9359, the Soviets quite infamously got the final breakthroughs through spies, who were quite famously executed for their role
I can hear my pride and beloved battleship EWS Britanika to sing her song of death and cuteness
The aliens would easily nuke the shit out of old battleships lmao. If the battleships were such a problem, they should have just brought some guided bunker buster bombs from their homeworld.
based on the good captain thoughts, the idea never cross their minds, the Battleships where able to shrug off their bombers and Orbital strikes aren't accurate enough,
there also possibly that the initial planners for the invasion didn't consider that they would need something like due to the the other Advantages they had. this would also explain why H-Bombs and A-Bombs aren't mentions as they might not be worth the effect to clean up after
it also possible that Bunker weren't a concept to them, therefore they didn't have a counter for them.
@@lostShadowLord You're telling me that aliens planned a land invasion upon an entire god damn planet and not one of them brought with them guided munitions designed to penetrate land based bunkers? They had air superority, ground superority, and orbital superority. Someone could have cobbled together a bomb with a steel sheath around it to penetrate the thin top deck armor of a battleship.
@@lostShadowLord It wouldn't be that hard for them to do a saturation strike from orbit. Kinetic strikes from orbit can easily match nukes in terms of the amount of damage they can unleash on a target and a 20 kiloton blast is enough to lay waste to a fleet. Of course they would be limited on how many strategic-level orbital strikes they can pull off because they had to haul all of that with them to Earth.
Actually, the USN would test nukes against surface vessels... and they're complete and utter shit outside of 'kissing the enemy' (for naval warfare) ranges. Look up the Revolt of the Admirals and the nuclear tests they conducted.
Good story, I like humanity placed in a good light. Normally Hollywood makes movies where humanity fails in epic proportions, recall the New Outer Limits where humanity was at war with an alien race, and we lost the war. There are other short stories and animations just as bad for humanity, too.
Reminds me of "Footfall" Larry Niven and Jerry Pourmelle
Reminds me of the Harry Turtledove book In the Balance
Humanity when you give them a reason to hate you:”WHOOOOOO YEAH BABY THATS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR, THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
This story gives me strong XCOM vibes, but a few decades earlier. XCOM 1945, on XBOX, PS, and Steam, winter of 2025
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
now i really liked that story, i for 1 would like to know what the humans did with the starships they captured.
Amazing story, I just hope the human under dog trope doesn't get played out.
Haha 😂, they think anyone will be able to help them once we make our way to their occupied systems, that's cute
They picked a fight with death worlders, now they have to face the consequences!
Humans to other occupied races. Want to join? Yes.
For the fishes!!!
For the algorithm and the narrator.
I'm going say this they had heavily lost for 2 year statement. I think we where slowly learning and replicating the tech in those two years and capturing more tech is always good. It was more like 3.5 to 5 years of learning the advance tech. To even longer since they went east first.
Orion drive for the win!
In the centre of Europe, during ALL of this, there were a group of people sitting, sipping on beer, and saying: "We only JUST tried this. Didn't go well. Boy, these aliens fracked up..."
hehe poor sots
ye reap what you sow
i hope there's another story to follow-up this one.
Was the atom powered Earthship named "Archangel Michael". From "Footfall" by Niven and Pournelle.
Thanks!
A pleasure and thank you for the dono
Oh yeah, those are some nice looking ships you got there, would be unfortunate if used this gun brick here…
Somehow I can see the USS Iowa in space going ham on some alien space ships. Brings a smile to my face just thinking of it. Even better if it would have been a Montana class battleship
The Doctor: "I gave them the wrong message, I should have told them to run, because The Monsters are coming, The Human Race...!"