Sorry for all the new blurring to some of the scenes showing cait using her stuff. I always loved this video and seeing it get age-gated sucked, luckily my new apeal got accepted within 30 minutes! Thank you TH-cam
@LeonTalksALot TH-cam are assholes. Cait is so hot, I would totally breed her voice actor Katy Tounsend. Anyway Fallout 4 is awesome, best fallout and bugthesda game despite it's instability courtesy of that bastard zenimax CEO who fired all the top programmers who worked on all the previous games so he wouldn't have to pay them a few extra pennies, mostly because of the workshop and all the myriad mods for it. That and the mods that turn the game into FUCKING HALO.😁
I always though Psycho as more of a meth clone than a PCP clone just because of the lack of visual effects that Jet and other hallucinogenic Chems have.
He knows that sooner or later that one of his raider clients will shank him in the back. So thats explains why he is relieved when sole survivor kill them all. In his own way he might have cared for cait. But most likely he just dont want to find out what happened when cait is out of psycho. A Junkie who is in withdrawal aint exactly a person you want to be around.
I mean; you see in an SRB terminal that he's accepting institute kickbacks to rat out potential runaway synths. So financially he'll be alright without Cait.
@@westdakotaofficial7940 "Synth Retention Bureau." Go to the institute, follow the black line on the floor to their office, find the terminal that lists all their wasteland informants. Tommy and every single caravaneer is a snitch-ass.
It's a shame the game didn't have a route for you to encourage her addiction. As is, you either do the quest to cure her or you say you'll think about it. It makes no sense that you can't keep Cait at max affinity while playing an addict and is yet another unfortunate example of Fallout 4's railroading
@@smokey3504 You wouldn't be able to keep her as a companion that way regardless, since she'd wind up dead if you decided to go down the route of encouragement.
The saddest part for me is, i never took her with me for many playthroughs, her facade scared me off, i didn’t want a mean rough type with me, and because of that, i abandoned someone who really needed my help without even knowing. And that is the truest part, because that’s exactly what happens, people put up walls because they are scared, and those walls scare away the ones they need most
I originally got cait as a companion for her lockpicking. But I fell in love with her character it's just so real and raw. And the fact that she does a 180° after you complete her side quest is cool.
@@snusnu1726i just use cait as my sidepiece. Don’t get me wrong i relate to what the OC said and i love cait but… idk she coming from here she comes from she should be an empath to the settlement’s you help.
Dude your ending monologue about your personal experience with addiction hit me hard. I too am an ex-addict. 7 yeard and 9 months ago i found out i was going to be a dad. I took my H and flushed it down the toilet, smashed my tray and never looked back. Your monologue brought back a lot of my emotion around who i once was. For anyone who is now struggling with addiction trust me each day gets easier after you decide to put it down. Every day that addiction gets a bit weaker. Don't stop the fight! Kick its ass! It can be done and just remember everything seems alot clearer once youre away from those demons.
@@Destinyisforlosers24 not the right way. I chose to tough it out and quit cold turkey. Made my self very sick and it's not safe. I recommend actually seeking help but try to end up on Subo if needed. It helped two of my friends get clean a year after me and they were way deeper than I was. If someone wants to get clean they've already taken the hardest step and acknowledging their addiction. I hope this helps.
It's been 1 year and 17 days since I tried to "end it" by drinking a gallon of vodka and taking a full bottle of sleeping pills. The only thing that saved me was that I threw up during my sleep and woke up after sleeping for 13 hours. I realized what I had done and decided to sign myself into a rehab clinic that day. Unfortunately as soon as I got out I couldn't handle the pressure of everything going on in my life and I started drinking again. But this video made me realize I need to try again, I need to do my best to stop this self destructive behavior. Thank you for making this video, if nothing else, know you helped someone to make their mind up on how to move forward with their life.
I found out a girl I used to date overdosed this year; I always loved her, but every time I tried getting close to her she would push me away and disappear...I think she thought she was too broken, and that she would just hurt me. She was always so kind even though the world had been nothing but cruel to her, and the only thing she ever did that hurt me was when she hurt herself; I would've gone through hell and back to help her, but I guess maybe she was scared of being better too. I still cry about her passing and the world losing a good person, even though it'd been almost 2 years since we'd spoken when I found out a couple months ago, and I was crying throughout this whole video because of how much Cait reminded me of her. I never stopped thinking about her from time to time, and I always hoped she was ok, or even doing better without me, so learning that she's gone forever devastated me. I guess my advice is to accept help from the people who care enough to give it to you; I know you might be scared you'll just hurt them, or that you don't deserve it, but how far they'll go to help and how much they think you deserve it is up to them, and they can see the good in you that you can't. The reason they want to help is because you hurting yourself is what really hurts them, not the things they might endure in trying to help you, so, please, don't push them away. I'll never forget you Regan
If she pushed you away, it wasn't because of her addiction 😂😂one thing about us addicts is we cannot push those we love or are addicted to. It's more than likely she didn't love you back and had other self interests that didn't involve you. Some can't be saved but we move on.
Given this was about her story and background, you shoulda sent to the people who wrote the character, not someone who reads from a paper. If this was what the amazing part, then what if Caits voice was on Pipers story? Yeah wouldn't work.
@@deenaxic9134we all know there a team behind it but whats wrong with praising one of them? You dont need to be negative about 1 of many artists being appreciated. Grow up
INB4 some NV jackass comes in and types a wall of text why New Vegas is the best game. I used to love NV but the fanatical, cultish fans ruined the game for me.
I did not expect the ending to this video. Thank you for confessing to your own struggles and for offering encouragement to others in the same situation. You brought tears to my eyes for using your platform to help others!
Honestly as an addict myself the moment I saw the video I assumed the TH-camr had to be an addict himself because it just does not seem like the type of video non addicts would make. We get a lot of hate from non addicts frequently or they forget about us, hence whatever the fuck that guy above me means about fiction. But I’m only a minute in and new to the channel, assume it’ll be solid
I was not expecting that ending or beautiful outro. Thank you for your bravery and honesty in sharing your story. You're using your platform to inform and help others, and I'll say that it's helping me. I've been secretly struggling with alcoholism for quite some time now. It numbs pain and makes me feel happier, but I hate how it drains my wallet, makes me ill, makes me fat and makes me blackout pleasant moments I do want to remember. I've tried and failed many times, but every day is a new day, and today is day 3 of sobriety. Thank you again for your vulnerability in this great video. Congratulations on your own sobriety, and be proud that you have had a positive impact on others' lives.
@@MattBurns10252 I've got a friend who invited me to come along to an open AA meeting at their sponsor's house. It was a great time and I learned that I get along suspiciously well with alcoholics lmao
You can't see trauma, you can't hear trauma, and you don't know you're feeling trauma until you do. Give people the benefit of the doubt, especially yourself.
i'm honestly happy cait takes it well when you decide to keep your relationship with her platonic, i was always worried in the back of my mind that she'd take us choosing her romantic options and getting the lover's embrace perk as her somehow "repaying" her debt to us and i do not want to bring that poor woman any more emotional damage than she already has :(
I feel this way too. as someone who has severe PTSD I know firsthand that sex doesn't tend to feel very wholesome for people like us. I (especially as a woman) always tend to feel like I need to "give" sex in order to receive "love".. it is an awful feeling that permeates every aspect of my relationships- to the point where i find myself viewing all relationships as transactional no matter how many years they last. I would never want to make anyone else feel like I was using them- not even a fictional character.
@@pgyws5137 I guess everything we were taught was wrong, but I do still believe in true love, and sex does not have to be the main currency for it. It’s just genuine affection from my point of view, people all have learned different things throughout their lives and some fell victim to the supposed norms of having to be macho bad ass to get a woman, and women being sexy and submissive to get a man, things like that were all over the media when growing up and thinking to ourselves, is this really how it’s supposed to be?? When you become a addict, things are different, nothing brings you joy anymore, good memories only bring pain of a time that was happier and you can’t get those back, and the future just seems bleak, as if it’s already over because of the cycle we are lost in. Life sucks yes, but you can’t give up, good people are out there still and good things can still be experienced, it’s never the end unless you legit lose your breath, your heart stops, and brain shuts down.
@@jerrym1218 men do need to be manly and women do need to be feminine and submissive. Media didnt make that up its a natural thing in the law of attraction. And since media is trying to change that now is why men and women are worse off than ever. I thought it was all bullshit shit myself for years. And it lead to nothing but bad relationship after another. To the point i stayed single for 5 years. But once i was in a relationship that is in the order of things. Things got better. After 3 years i have no complaints and neither does she. Im the man and i lead even when its hard to do so. And she is my better half that submits to the way i lead us through life. I would do anything for her and her for me. Its not 50/50 we both have to give it 100% every day and it just works. If one party doesn't give their all it all comes apart. So dont give yourself to the wrong person and you will see that natural laws between men and women do work. I hope you can have what i have one day. You will see when it happens.
Christ if that isn’t the most apt description of of Fallout 4s writing I’ve ever seen. There’s some true brilliance dogged down by utter garbage, it’s depressing honestly
It's like, the rest of her development as a character and as a companion is Incredible, but they absolutely flubbed the ending by having it be a damn magic addiction-b-gone button
Cait is the best romance option, since it doesnt feel like some surface level thing. Cait genuinely can grow to respect and love the player in a way she never thought possible with her history. She of all people deserve a bit of happiness through the wasteland.
Disgusting. Imagine thinking a junkie is the 'best romance option.' It is all surface detail; she is just telling a 'woe is me story' That isn't anything but surface level junkies don't deserve happiness; they bring everything on themselves
@@pyropulseIXXI ah yes Woman kidnapped by raiders to fight for her life in the rings and addicted to chems because of her horrible childhood Bad woman 😡😡
Bro I'm an addict (heroin & crack cocaine) and I just passed 5 years clean on the 4th of this month. You did an amazing job here. And as I'm gonna assume you aren't addicted to drugs, I find it awesome that you were able to connect and see her pain in such a way. Well done bro. 👏 +1sub
@lukemorgan6166 that's a "yet" Just because you haven't experimented with drugs up to this point, doesn't mean it can never happen. Sounds like you're asking me to pre emptively pat you on the back for a race you haven't finished yet. Stop seeking validation from strangers on the internet
I strongly relate with you and Cait. I'm a recovered alcoholic. 17 years ago I was to the point of drinking to punish myself and try to end myself due to the trauma I suffered as a child. I hated myself for things that someone else did to me. Thankfully I'm 40 now and much much happier. The bottle never gave me relief from my pain, my friends and family helped me overcome it.
Proud of you man. Great job on fixing your life up, I only hope others do the same. I have a very, very strong admiration for you. I hope you have a wonderful and fulfilling life, because after a battle like that, you deserve it. Addiction sucks. im so glad you overcame it
I'm 24 and ngl, low-key struggling, I don't have shit to hold me back and after losing everything, you just get tired of it all. Maybe one day I'll be 40, and find happiness as well. Take care out there
I still remember the day my dad was sitting at the table I had walked down to get me something to eat for breakfast, he looked up at me and said “can you sit down for a second” me being like 13 or 14 at the time, I did. He broke the unfortunate news to me that my uncle had been sent to rehab because he was an alcoholic, up until that point I had always thought my uncle was this clean and god fearing man, but he wasn’t. I remember seeing him after he left rehab since my dad wouldn’t let me see him in there. He left and everyone in the family was proud of him… but one night the stress of life got to him again and picked up the bottle once more he started drinking again and I remember in 8th grade after a football game I went to see him, I saw his eyes and they were yellow, and he looked like a shell of his former self, I told him that he needed to clean up, put down the bottle and make a god example for his kids and for me (yeah an 8th grader telling a nearly 50 year old man to be responsible) he looked down and cried and said he would… a couple months into COVID he went into the hospital because he wasn’t feeling well that day He never left that hospital, he died there and didn’t go peacefully.
My mom was also an alcoholic. She ended up dying from liver cirrhosis at the ripe old age of 49. It was an awful thing to watch and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Those yellow eyes and jaundiced skin are a telltale sign it has gone too far. I'm sorry about your uncle and I hope you are doing well.
29:25 Recovered addict here. I absolutely relate to the fear of life being different post sobriety. I was so far gone, I'd forgotten what it was like to not either be high or sick. I genuinely didn't know what between felt like & it scared me. However, I hate how media portrays recovery as a quick, easy montage. Whether consciously or not, it conveys to audiences that recovery is simple & therefore the fault of the addict to not just "kick the habit." In reality, recovery is a daily struggle. I'm 10 years sober. It gets easier every day, but it's still there. As cliche as it may be, my son is the reason I got clean. I hit a very low point when I was sick, & not understanding what was happening, he just wanted me to play with him. I told myself that he deserved more than a junkie for a mother, so I sought professional help.
A lot of media is genuinely really shitty about that. The best way I've seen addiction and recovery portrayed was in Bojack Horseman. Seems like a silly cartoon about a talking horse but it's actually very in depth and hit me harder than I ever expected
Also congrats on your sobriety! I'm glad you can be there for your son and I know he'll be proud and grateful to you for it when he's able to understand
It’s not cliché at all. Eric Clapton got sober because of his son Conner. It’s a very good reason to. I know it’s not much from a stranger, but I’ll say it anyways, I’m very proud of you.
It's hard. I'm technically 4 years clean from the hard stuff but I still drink. While I have greatly cut that back I just don't see myself as 100% sober. Still, better than what I was doing.
Cait is too real in the addiction side. I am playing the game now for the first time and I just cried. I love Curie she's like a curious fluff but Cait just... wow. I found this video because I was kinda searching that bc I understood. The writers of this character story know their stuff.
I use to be addicted to opioids and looking back I’m so happy. It’s important to leave your old cricle behind leave the people that supply you and motivate you to go further down the hole called addiction. Feeling numb really isn’t the same as true happiness you get from sobriety.. Great video 🤞
@@rootfish2671 not really comparable dude... 🤦 There's a huge difference between using heroin for years turning into a zombie, and smoking blunts all night and ordering dominos.
Congratulations on your sobriety! I was thinking the whole time that you must have some personal experience with addiction. You describe it so well. In a way only someone who has been there can. I thank you for sharing your story, and encourage you to keep sharing it. You have the potential to help many others. I wish you all the best! ❤
Piper is layered too. The problem is that compared to the rest of your companions she's one of if not the most "normal" and well-adjusted. This can make her seem less interesting as she doesn't have any inner demons to conquer or old scores to settle, but it doesn't make her a bad or simple character. She still has a past that drives her, a family she works to protect, and ambitions for the future. She's just "normal" compared to someone like Nick or Cait.
@@DovahFett I was going to type something out about Nick being probably the most layered character alongside Deacon but TH-cam wiped everything I just typed away because of an ad.
@@DovahFettwish there was more interactions between Piper and her sister. Off the top of my head I can only think of one and after Piper’s recruited she basically is never home with her anymore lol.
I played this game until .. something on Bethesda network broke forcing me only to play with offline mode. But I have to disagree. There is no way I will agree that only Cait was layered. Especially after Betha sold me the perfect example of masked depression staring at me for all that time, yet so elusive to diagnose. I spent helluva time wandering with Preston as companion trying somehow to understand - why it's fine but ... also off, and answer was all along something so familiar to me and yet so elusive. That last speech check with him lives rent free in my mind all the time, because it was absolutely something that any depressed person would admit to. It was something I would do had I been on his place. Just suck up and pretend for the sake of others to finish your duty, then once it's finally over go and find a loose bullet to end it all. And that doesn't mean that all others aren't layered, I definately think Piper, Nick, Danse or Deacon were layered. This game did superb job on writing companions.
I romanced Cait in my second playthrough. I've never suffered from addiction but I could relate to the PTSD story. I gave her a ship captain hat to wear and she looked positively adorable
Addiction and PTSD are fictional things. You think of how the fiction can be used to assist in describing things outside of the fiction but using whats whats made to be thought of substance doesn’t apply to you? You used what could be thought of as a substance and felt better at some point in time right? Youre in what could be made to be thought of as a post revolutionary prison colony system right? Addicts often go to fictional places such as prison.
Well i suffered from both and now im depressed, life is life i dont write it so someone can cry I write it to show people can be normal after that stuff, theyre just different, same as everyone
I was once an alcoholic. I drank myself to blackout at least twice a week. I met a friend who I became very enthralled with quickly. He liked my art and would always encourage me. He was a great friend and I liked him a lot. I began to get sad though because I realized I couldn't remember our conversations. The alcohol would clean my trauma but it also robbed me of all the good and wonderful conversation I had with this friend. I had been on several attempts of going sober now. So instead I just went cold turkey. I haven't had a black out since December 2022. I don't even find alcohol appealing in any casual context whatsoever any more. I went cold turkey for about four months and came back to it but realized it didn't have the same effect. It didn't help dull any pain and if anything it was just a nuisance.
The line between casual enjoyment to a vice and addiction is a slippery slope and it's hard to know that you feel like shit until you stop feeling like shit, and this world is full of vicious cycles, I'm glad to hear this one didn't win, good job, proud of you :)
Booze is a dangerous thing. Glad you burned yourself out of it, not finding the appeal in it anymore is one of the greatest things when recovering and I hope you keep improvin!
As a heroin addict due to my PTSD it's nice to see addiction portrayed in a way that isn't just "drugs bad screw junkies". I kicked it and was clean for a good so many months, until the flashbacks started up again, and now I barely leave my bed except to get my methadone and get my fix. Working on getting legitimate meds to help deal with the flashbacks so I can kick it again.
Cait really reminds me of an ex girlfriend I had in my freshman and sophomore year of highschool. Of course not to the point of being sold to slavery but the awful "care taking" her parents did just made her so devoid of finding any comfort in living. Before we had broken up she had smoked weed and cigarettes and would drink with her older sister. She had cut herself in any place that could be covered by clothing, even telling me that she had run out of space and started cutting the bottoms of her feet. And she was covered in self made scars on each arm, leg, wrist, to the point where she would feel so embarrassed by anyone who saw them which created a vicious cycle of having no self-esteem and continuing more. We had broken up fairly quickly since this was all at 15 and I already had so many problems of my own and I couldn't support her problems along with my own, especially after numerous visits she made to mental hospitals. I found out more and more over the few years that she smokes meth and just had a baby over the summer, most likely not with a fitting father; all before she turns 18 at the end of this month. This video makes me hope that there can be a better outcome for her, if any one deserves an extractor chair, it'd be her.
I honestly don't get why you'd even waste time like people like this. Their 'woe is me' story is, while often true, also a front and cover to excuse their terrible behavior. Also, smoking weed and cigarettes is nothing. And drinking isn't anything either. Plenty of us skaters smoked pot in high school, and many smoked cigarettes but I didn't. And no one was cutting themselves If you've ever met a real junkie, you'd know this. Instead of wasting energy trying to 'fix' a person like this, you should just let them do their own thing. If they want to get better they will; if they don't, they will self destruct. You cannot fix them or "support their problems." That mindset is cancerous
@@pyropulseIXXI I smoke weed, cigarettes, and sometimes drink, I know this. I don't do it to fill a void, I do it to have fun. Maybe I could say she wasnt an "addict" of any substance but she definitely was an addict of trying to fill an empty void inside with anything that could distract her from her lifelong trauma. And I do agree that she was very self-destructive. However I cant help but be sympathetic to anyone who lives like she does, I mean literally smoking METH my guy. It's okay to let people wrong themselves because it really is at the end of the day up to them how they decide how to deal with their problems but for fucks sakes, show SYMPATHY to those who live in constant struggle. I have ceased contact with her for over 3 years and she wronged me many times. I'm not giving her an excuse. I'm not giving her money or my time for her to waste (anymore). Instead, I take my experience with her and feel for others and what they go through because I personally had second hand experience through it. I honestly do help she gets better however it is out of my control, but I can and have used that experience in help for others. Anyways, Cait was fucked up in a very dramatic sense for story telling to be worse than everyone else because everyone else already lives in a wasteland that is hell. My comparison comes from a real world that is much better than a fictional one, where her life is very much worse than the average one.
@@pyropulseIXXI Jesus man, have some sympathy for a fellow human being. Its not like he was condoning her actions but hes allowed to still care for her. Not everyone can have a life that's sunshine and roses, most of us just do what we can with the cards we're dealt & deal with the pain we have. Tbh id rather spend my time trying to help a person like her, then waste 5 minutes with someone like you.
32:23 Thats what makes this vault experiment so evil. For one, they had the tech to cure all addiction within seconds and withheld it. Two, after curing all the drug addicts in the vault, they reintroduced every drug they had, and watch as the addicts got readdicted to their vices.
I use to drink hard-core 4 years ago certain drugs will kill you when you detox booze is one of them you shouldn't go cold turkey like I did and do a detoxification ritual just search it up on yt how to detox I still do dabs and vape but I wanna get completely Clean in the future I also love Cait too rugged tomboy i want to smash too bad it's just a game but fr this made me feel things when I played fallout 4 and listened to the dialog somethings just were straight fax and was part of the reason I quit drinking it feels good man for a little bit then nothing. if your struggling just know you can do it have a little faith in yourself and know that it is worth it
It is also very hauntingly accurate depiction of addiction in that even after getting over an addiction, the burden is still there. The addiction leaves a scar that is too easy to reopen. Like a wound that never fully heals and leaves an itch.
@@CheesyKnobby The problem is not "addiction", really. The problem is that drugs… work. Don't get me wrong, drugs grant you net negative over the course of your life, but a lot of people simply don't believe in dying from the old age. People know that they won't really get any respect as they grow old, they know that they are at their prime age here and now, they know that bulk of their current decisions and moves will decide their position in life later. So, they are ready to give everything they have… but what if that's not enough? THIS IS WHERE DRUGS PITCH IN. And people find themselves in a better playing grounds with them. They are now faster, stronger, better at concentration. Nervous? It's gone. Feeling weak? Here is the body hammer. Feeling blue? Here are pills that make you feel NOTHING as opposed to EMPTINESS. Drugs are like credits - they expand your oportunities and you pay for them later. So you feel no regrets and empowered till they flow. And THEN you hit the ground. You can go clean, but you will always remember how productive you were. You are weak, pathetic man and being a "just better" man is one pill, shot or whiff away. And this is why most "going clean" therapies don't work - your local psychologist says things to you that you KNOW are bullshit. Drugs work, drugs are nearly miraculous, drugs are powerful tools, a 99 level boost to your lvl 1 peasantry… that puts you on the deathclock. A Frostmourne that may solve many of your problems only to ruin everything as you are falling apart.
my partner recently celebrated 6 months sober from alcohol and to hear not only the story of Cait through this game (my partner loves the Fallout games and show), but your story as well made me very emotional. I will definitely be showing him this video because I know that it will leave an even bigger mark on their heart. Thank you :)
I want to point out this 'wulfoke' commented this 10 mo ago (from me posting this comment) and I have been trying to quit for, um...3 years now. 11 months ago was when I joined a weekly class like AA thro kaiser. I try every day... but hasn't made it thro yet. Went 3 days last week, but didn't last past that. Nows time for your violin, @$$hole... No one can do it for you...but its helpful to have someone by your side. Since addiction is already such a lonely he[[ to begin with. I liked this video, and for him to add his part at the end made me put my box away for today...and hopefully tomorrow too... One day at a time is how we get thro this. And yes, one person can drive you to use again, or to put the box away. Try to be the reason someone doesn't use, instead of the reason they do. Hope you got clean @wulfoke or the least are still trying.... And thanks for this video, @LeonTalksAlot It got me to get thro today... (Hugs)
The fact that you added Cry of Fear music and scenes into this is amazing. Cait is the best depiction of addiction, and Simon is the best depiction of depression and anxiety. COF's developer is a wonderful person. Andreas Rönnberg I believe it's spelled. He has struggled with depression, anxiety, and psychosis. He used those painful experiences and made it into a game. His work truly helped me when I needed to express my feelings towards my therapy, and for that I thank him everyday. I see the same affect with Cait. Thank you for bringing to light another great character that'll help (and from the comments has helped) many people understand their feelings and potentially help their addiction
i’ve been an alcoholic and a drug addict for like 2 years since my dad passed away, i was depressed before that happened actually and the worst thing is i’ve been dumped by my first ever girlfriend 2 weeks after i lost my dad. all i can tell you is do not self medicate with drugs and booze as i did, it never helped only eased my pain a little for a short period of time.god bless my mom who noticed it, quite late but still, and had me go visit a psychiatrist. now one year later i’m sober, i don’t drink any more or smoke weed and currently trying to quit smoking ciggies. sorry for bad grammar at places, english isn’t my native language ps i just needed to share my life story and i think this comment section is a goddamn good place for it
Thanks for sharing man. I lost my dad a year ago too, when I was 26. It's an enormous hurdle to get over for sure. I am a pretty handy guy and he taught me everything I know. He was my mentor in that as well as in life. I still have projects around the house that I don't have the strength to start because I would have probably called him for help on or his advice on. For instance my sprinklers (a year later) are still broken because I was planning on asking for his help on them before he died. It's not that I'm not confident that I can do them, it's just that I can't find the heart to do them alone when he would have been there helping me and telling me a funny story about the past while we bonded over work. My older brothers a joke, and besides my mom I don't have family. I tell you its an awful feeling being the man of the family and the person everyone looks to and the end all be all of guidance and wisdom. But it has been rewarding stepping into that role. Only advice I can give you is try to take the high road, be the best man in the room that everyone looks to after your father passes. Want to talk about it? Tell me more about your story.
Even though you're a complete stranger on the internet, I just want to say how amazing it is that you got yourself out of the dark place. I'm proud of you man!
Was addicted to marijuana for a few years - horribly so. Coping with many things out of my control, it was about the only thing I could depend on for relief. Almost every waking moment of mine was spent under the influence. Smoking so much took a toll on my body, and more importantly, my mind. Slowly, and almost unnoticeably up until the end, my thoughts faded - a mind that was once bright, observant, and full of ideas, turned absolutely silent. I spent the last few months battling my depression of realizing I was no longer able to think, envision things, or remember my past. It felt like the world was closing in, and I began making lots of bad choices. A feeback loop; I struggled to break the cycle. I was surrounded by people who enabled the behavior, and those who didn't were hardly around. I had put myself in a bad spot. Engulfed by shame and stuck in a loop, it was almost insurmountable. Almost. A certain incident snapped me back momentarily, like I awoke from zome sort of trance. From that day forward, I vowed to never let myself go again. I still deal with the cravings and mood swings, and my mind is still recovering, but it's better this way. I'm thankful for those who stuck around and helped me.
Bruhhh, can relate! Ppl think MJ addiction is a joke or that it’s not really an issue worth addressing but it can slowly send you down an awful path. I truly believe that weed is a gateway drug that only leads to bad decisions! Recently got a DUI, this was my turning point. Still not where I want to be in life but at least I’m aware of the issue and I’m proactive about wanting to change! I’m not a chronic smoker anymore. Only the occasional sesh with the homies.
There’s literally nothing addictive about weed You do not get withdrawals You cannot die, from ODs or sudden sobriety Sorry not trying to downplay yalls struggle, but you’re blaming your issues on a plant that a ton of people use responsibly, recreationally and medically for decades. you weren’t addicted. MJ feels good and you were at a low point, so you abused it to try and cope. Again, not digging at you, just offering another perspective.
@@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access weed literally does have withdrawals (insomnia, low appetite, anxiety, headaches) and just because you don't die or have the risk of an OD doesn't mean that its not addictive. you literally said "MJ feels good" and when you do something that makes you feel good your brain remembers that response and makes you wanna do it even more, stop spreading misinformation.
@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access I'd like to disagree, I've smoked 2-3 times a day damn near every day for the last 4 years, I can't sleep without it sometimes, I struggle to eat without it, and I've slowly just got stuck in the "loop" and whenever I become aware of it, I smoke. I don't know if I'll ever stop unless i go for a career which requires me to kick it. But regardless I wish I was never introduced to it because I know my outlook on life would be alot less depressing if I stayed sober
My brother is in rehab right now. I've seen him plunder further and further into a wild depression mixed with paranoia. He phone called me and his voice, only after 3 weeks of sobriety, god it felt so nice. There is always a way to go through things, never lose hope. He will back in 6 months, and I'm looking forward to see my brother smile and look at me in the eyes without the guilt he has been hiding.
my step sister’s still off somewhere else with a bf who is feeding her issues. i’d like to think she’s trying but i’m not sure. hurts to think about. i hope you and your brother are doing well now.
@pomax1464 Quit sugar from your diet completely, and that goes for all artificial sweeteners as well. You’ll suddenly realize you have an addiction. That means no foodstuffs with added sugar, nothing made with flour because the body turns that to sugar in no time, no fruit juices or smoothies because that’s liquid sugar even if you don’t add any. Basically vegetables and fruits in their solid form. Dairy and eggs. And fresh meat and fish. Bacon, burgers, sausages etc. are often no go because of added sugar. I tested it myself, can say sugar is way more addictive than Columbias favourite powder.
@@cfcfan72 I attempted a no sugar diet, what surprised me the most (besides finding out how addicted I actually am to the stuff) was that sugar is in everywhere. Like literally in every bit of food there's some added sugar. I watched the documentary Sugar Coated (which can now be watched on youtube) and it really opened my eyes to how dangerous sugar actually is. I failed the diet, but I still managed to cut down on sugar a lot.
Ever since my dad died at the beginning of this year, I’ve been drinking way more. It sucks because he was an alcoholic, himself, and that ultimately led to his death. Makes me feel like I’m literally turning into him. I haven’t gone longer than 3 days without drinking in months. I literally just woke up after drinking earlier. I’ve wanted to stop but then some excuse pops up. This video made me want to try again. Especially what you said about your past with alcohol. So, thank you. I needed to see this.
My dad lost his battle with addiction in February 2020, I was never one to drink, but I did other things throughout high school. I try to put myself in a position where I can't make an excuse or do mental gymnastics to come up with a reason to use. Keeping busy, finding a passion, and becoming addicted to that thing will make it so a lot of other things fade away into the background. I hope this helps bro, good luck.
hey man fellow alcoholic here. maybe try going to AA. its not a one size fits all but so far it has worked for me and turned my life around so maybe it can help you too. either way i wish you the best and hope you recover soon
You can do it. Just believe in yourself. You'll be so happy and proud when you stop the addiction. You are also getting more energy to continue life. 💪🏻
I owe the algorithm big time for sending your channel my way. Props for being vulnerable at the end, you said some thing that a lot of people needed to hear. Myself included
It's sad that the combat zone was basically unfinished, I still love how people brought it back in the mod creation area. Overall, good video, and good luck on TH-cam bud Edit: Listening your heartfelt story about your point of view, just made me sad, realizing that you truly understood what she went through during her addiction, I truly hope the best for you, and a good luck in life.
Almost 6 years sober from heroin and crack, and this is seriously one of the most meaningful depictions of addiction I’ve ever seen. And to think it all stemmed from a game! Thank you so much for making this video. I’m sure it will instill some sort of hope and drive for others out there that really need it. Congrats on kicking alcoholisms ass and spreading the message that it is NEVER impossible to beat your addictions, no matter how helpless it may seem.
dude this is such a good video! I had a harsh up bringing myself, and being surrounded by addicts my whole life didn't help. I've always looked at life head long (no addictions) because when I was young I realised the addicts that I was around still carried the pain/trauma they had with them in the same bottle they drank from. It has been difficult to find people to talk to about my past traumas because of that environment. I'm learning to catch myself before I fall so to speak, slowly but surely. Speak more openly about my problems. To not be so hard on myself about those things, I wouldn't treat someone else that harshly. Why be so hard on myself? I think this video is a good bearing for the moral compass on addiction. Its very human. Thank you for sharing
This is why Cate is my favorite companion. I feel like she has the most harrowing backstory with such a wholesome end. Well not necessarily end, but second start I guess. There's something about it that just makes you feel so good after you complete her quests.
Thank you for making this video and telling your story. I have never played this game, I just clicked on it because I wanted to see how a video game portrays something I have been living (or rather, surviving) with. Witnessing Cait's journey was extremely relatable, and the most important thing is that you spoke softly of her and stayed by her side when no one else in the goddanm world did. I felt like I, too, may deserve some kindness and understanding. The ending of the video is what broke me and made me shed a tear. I have been struggling for so many years I simply cannot remember or imagine what being sober even feels like. But now I feel encouraged to at least give sobriety a try, because maybe, just maybe, I will be able to overcome my fear of sobriety too. I thank you and I wish you a life full of kindness and sobriety.
This is always a controversial take, but I honestly really relate to Cait's story in my history with Anorexia. I won't get into my trauma, but like, most people are generally horrified and like ask me to stop talking to them because they don't want to know things like that are real in the world. One of my best friends struggles with opiate addiction and has since she was 12, so I've followed that road by her side too. I had tried to get better in my early 20s. My whole teen years I thought I was fat, (ironically BMI charts always said I was overweight, but I'm just a bulky girl, Gwendolyn Christie kinda tall and not Cate Blanchett tall) but looking back at photos now, you can see ribs piercing through loose clothing and like you know the ball jointed doll looking arms. I tried going to therapists and getting help, but at the time recovery literature was so puritanical: never think about your body or what you eat or your weight or mess up again or you have failed. I thought I was doing well. I had strict rules. But they were just rituals around my abuse of my body. I ate once a day, at night, all my food for the day. Because after I started eating, I would always be hungry. The reality is I hadn't not been hungry since I was a young child and only learned to use food as a control like it was used for me. About two years ago, things really started to slip. I had gained a lot of weight in recovery from the inability to observe my intake and partners encouraging me to overeat when I had no understanding of how much I was eating. I needed a surgical procedure I had to lose a small amount of weight for. I started cutting calories down and instantly I didn't fall off the wagon, the wagon crumpled. It couldn't hold itself up. I ended up losing almost half my body mass in 11 months. I was doing hard labor on our home. I was eating about half as much as people were given in concentration camps. I could *feel* my organs failing. Worst of all my wife was falling apart. But I didn't care. I needed it. The haze, the control, I thought it helped my CPTSD. It didn't obviously, but you never can see that from the bottom of the hole. I wish I could say I stopped because I was dying, because I had heart palpitations, because I couldn't do anything for 10 minutes without a 15 minute breather, because my wife was suffering, or because I didn't go a single second of any day without hating myself and obsessing over that hatred. But no. The speed at which my hair was falling out increased and I lost two cup sizes in the course of a week. My fucking vanity got me to listen to help. What actually saved me though was my dietician. They also were queer, they looked like me, made the same kind of jokes, was the same kind of nature loving dork, and they had also survived this. After months of telling them I was fine every week while I slowly circled the drain, I finally asked them why they decided to recover. I had been embarrassed by every reason I had come up with. In the end their's were almost the same. I felt seen. I didn't feel alone anymore. It was huge. They practiced harm reduction. They didn't throw me in a hospital to sink or swim. They walked me through building good habits for my own reasons, boosting me up. Talking me through as I got violently ill with every increase. That saved me and it built a much stronger meathod than what I had found before in hospitals ever could. I don't have rules, I have reasons, and that is huge. Eating disorders are hard. You can't go cold turkey. Food and hunger are there for us every single day. But having someone compassionate by my side, who cared about similar things in the world, who listened to the most messed up things I ever had to say and stuck with me anyway, that's what got me there in the end. Just like Cait. In 10 minutes, it'll be six months of me finally eating normally for the first time in my life. I'm incredibly grateful and happy to keep going.
I know I'm a month late here, but I am SO proud of you. I can't say much, really. You've probably heard all of it before, so I'll keep it simple. As someone who has been there: it is hard, but it is so, so worth it. To take that weight off our loved ones shoulders, to be able to stand up without passing out, to stop seeing hair falling out in the shower, to just feel that worry slowly start to dissipate as time goes on and you build new habits. It is hard but it is worth it in SO many ways, my favorite way was seeing the way my friends stopped tiptoeing around the topic of food around me. It used to be a constant struggle, I could always feel the invisible wall in the way of us just talking about going to lunch, I felt guilty throwing away pastries and things they'd made me. It was so freeing to realize I wasn't bound by these stupid rules I'd made in my head and to finally realize how much love I was being shown in so many ways. Please don't beat yourself up over any "failures" on your path. It is in many ways an addiction, just as much as any other. The important part is that we get back up and we keep going, for our loved ones, and eventually, for ourselves. Because we deserve it. You are loved!!
i am also late but i am also very proud of you, and i really think your dietician absolutely was right, that’s how we need to help people with EDs not hospitals and constant surveillance like suicide watch patients, it’s degrading and doesn’t help with any healing process. truly you’re come so so far, bless you.
hey, thank you for sharing this. seriously. I'm currently in the process of getting a dietician for the same problem. it's nice to here from another gay person who went thru the same thing and came out the other side 💕
My god, how did your friend end up addicted to opiates at 12? I started at 18 and the amount of damage and trauma it caused me makes me feel like I'm 80 years old. All good if you don't feel like getting into it though, ik these things can be hard to talk about.
@@himesilva Trauma from her mom's boyfriend that is unwise to mention in front of The Algorithm, if you catch my drift. She never told me where she got the first few bottles of oxy. The details didn't seem as important as the present any time circumstances brought it up. Lots of marginalized kids are exposed to drugs way too young though, unfortunately. I'm a social worker now and have met quite a few kids that started using in middle school to cope with family trauma.
my guy, you where an addict who not only got off the sauce, but is able to educate 650K people about addiction, metal health, and how you relate to an addict in a game. For that I'm proud of you!!! (I don't judge you for smokeing pot/vapeing bc I do the same thing)
This video really hits close to home. I was an addict myself and while the details are best left in the past it wasn't until I met a good friend that I managed to go sober. They're missing an eye and an arm, half their face is deformed and they've been abandoned by their family. And at one point they had me and nobody else, and I realized life was kicking my ass and telling me to take responsibility and stop evading life with drugs because now if I screwed up I was screwing up someone else who really needed the support. I accidentally ended up getting them a huge amount of friends, they're never alone anymore. And according to someone who knew them before I did "they're suddenly happy all the time and it's because of me". Some people decide to go sober for a lot of reasons but to me that decision never came, I just happened to be forced to stop being the sad, terrified person I was and I couldn't be happier about it. They say I saved their life but no, it was the other way around.
As someone currently struggling to become sober, I appreciate this video very much. My journey hasn’t been easy but I’m fighting to reach the end of the tunnel. I’ll admit, I never really paid much attention to Cate, and you’ve made me wish I had. Thank you for your final message, it means more to me than you can imagine.
Keep up the good fight, you can absolutely do it. Just starting the road to sobriety is an incredibly tough and brave thing to do, and you should be so proud of that. I may be a random yt commenter, but I really wish you the best in the recovery process
I adore Cait and something they absolutely breaks my heart is that you can catch her taking psycho. You can’t confront her about it but I found on accident that when idle she has an animation for giving herself a dose of psycho.
Hearing Cait’s story was extremely depressing and if she ever did suicide, I think I would feel even more bad for her. I think she deserves a family and everything really. I really liked the video, I’m not an addict tho.
If you ever meet a junkie in real life, you'd know they deserve everything that happens to them. They are sick people, so sick that you try to help 50 times, and they always backstab you no matter, always lie, always make promises, always steal from you, and always try to blame you for not "being there for them." Junkies are some of the absolute worst of humanity
I can fully get in to the mindset of Cait since im both a former addict and suffer from PTSD and when i play any fallout game i dont use the drugs and always end up only using her after i get her as a partner and i always get her clean
Cai'ts quest hit super hard for a friend i had as a roomie. He used to date a girl who fell to meth addiction and eventually passed away a little after they broke up. He tried to help her for years and she straight up rejected it, which is what caused their break up.
I spent most of my 20s being an addict and being addicted to Mary Jane and alcohol. I often experiment with other drugs just to feel something. I loved drugs, but something about you openly discussing Cait's character made me realise that I was escaping my life. I wasn't happy and I had a revolving door of men. I mean I was also heavily into sex. It didn't help that I had one episode where I drank myself to nearly start a fight and had no where to go that I received help. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at 26. I was pregnant at 28 with my fwb's child that it made me sober and I stopped using drugs after finding out. I was 8 weeks pregnant. It wasn't easy but it was an active decision I made everyday to not fall further. I aborted it and it was the biggest regret I had and I fell into depression and grief. I had to make active changes to my life and actively make the decision to not drink or smoke. I can't say I'm clear of it. I still use when it's there. If something is out of touch it was easier to deal with that.
You coming out as an ex-addict and now sober at the end got me crying. I didn’t see that coming. But who else would know this kind of struggle. Maybe some day I’ll face mine. Congrats man. You are awesome. I’ll work there some day too. Promise.
Then start little by little do him right by at least putting a little effort here and there trust it will stack up over time and make sure to track it best of luck
I hope you're doing well. My girlfriend is a recovering opiate addict. We've been through 8 years of back and forth. From wonderful moments to absolute hell on earth. But I still love her and am always there for her. She's been sober for 3 years now and is genuinely doing better than ever. I know it's hard to picture life being better when these things are tricking you into thinking you couldn't be happier, but it does get so much better. It's a decision you have to make yourself and fully commit to. But it's a decision that you absolutely can make, and absolutely can be better off for. There's no advice I can give besides finding the right people to support you, even if that means a clinic, and doing whatever it takes to get away from the people who keep you connected to that world. They say "people, places, and things" for a good reason. Anyway, I just want you know that I hope you're ok. You're a human who deserves to live better and be happy. I genuinely hope that you get that for yourself.
Thank you for sharing Leon such a good video and you getting personal about your past really adds to it and makes it real because it’s real addiction is everywhere unfortunately and it takes many shapes and sizes I pray for anyone reading this and they’re an addict but just know your never alone and it’s never to late to become clean again ❤
I remember when I played the game that I always didn't care much for my companions enough to ever reach idolization, but Cait just struck me different. She feels so much more like a person. I remember just thinking, "Oh I am going to help her with this before I finish the game."
I originally went with Cait because I knew the voice actor. After trying other followers though, I quickly realized she had a bit more substance, no pun intended
Yes, my first full complete play-up decided to FO4 alchemy that silly French bot to synth as my settlement main but her back story and base activity consisted of her sitting and watching my power suits and declaring an odd AI love for me. This time, I went with Cait and she gave the play up real substance.........and got damn does that one have interaction conversations that makes me feel good, especially when investing into her story, curing the addiction while I make my guy a drug induced, not family loss, Frank Castle of the wasted lands that glow. Cait is OP for her flawed human nature . Also my settlement hates me for Momma D dropping out sadly cuz I defaulted into her pushedman before I realized I killed my only client, should have taken her to 95. Also you monster dropping a tall queen with a pistol!? I clap all the cheeks but this guy is actually the Real Punisher of the wasteland. Great essay and voice talents.
I'm just how invested I was after watching the full video and your interest in the depiction of Cait. I think that years of interest doing this is worth it. The fact that you made you research with DSM-5 and analyse her dialogues/story and behavior is astonishing. I'm curious and you can refuse my questions. Did you got out by yourself with your addiction, or did you reached for someone? How many tries did you need for getting out of this addiction? To be honest I wasn't interest in the topic as non addict, but I think this kinda helps me to understand more about this topic. I had a situation long time ago with someone with drug addiction. We used to be classmate and he sudden called me after years. I was confused why he called me. We weren't friends, maybe relatives. I picked up the phone call and we meet up. At that time I was on job hunting and did my best to earn money in part-time jobs. We shared a couple of beers, reminiscing about our school days and talked about our current situation. It's been years that I've seen him and I could see he wasn't mentally/physically fine. He was taller than me, his face seemed tired, he looked unhealthy skinny and generally looked clueless. I could guess he was addicted to something, but he told me right out of the gate that he's a drug dealer. I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded about this topic and we hang out couple more times. Weeks passed and he hired me as a driver, since I was the only person had a legal license. I needed money, was still job hunting and it wouldn't hurt me earning more money. He did try to give me some drugs as payment but I refused since I wasn't interest. Some rides were nervewrecking for him since he felt like he was being followed. Other times he said he appreciate to have a healthy friend to talk about. I've met a lot of people, risky people, I slowly realised that it was stupid of me to hang out with him and his "friends". So after months of being the driver I got accepted in my dreamjob and I stopped contacting, saying I had to focus on my career. Half a year has passed and he ended up in the hospital because he almost died of overdose. I received a phone call if I got time and I decided to visit him. He was relieved and glad that I came since I was the only person, who visited him. Later he explained me that he was paranoid and he was in a very bad situation that only drugs might helped him. Me, a sober just told him I can't understand his thought process and advise him to get professional help. I'm not a doctor and only can listen to his problems. We talked for days at his time in the hospital. Eventually he went to get professional help in a clinic/rehab. We broke contact. It was the last time I've heard from him. I did try to visit him, his parents said he going for 3 months of rehabilitation. Sorry for my english and long text I felt like this should get out of my chest, I was mainly a bystander and barely could do anything since I took a safe distance not to get into deeper troubles. The only I thing could do was being there and in the end I can only hope he's doing better.
At the end of the day, don't blame yourself for anything he went through, sometimes addicts just need a shoulder to cry on for comfort, and you did a phenomenal job at that, my friend. You undoubtably made his life better. His paranoia could be a common side effect of stimulant usage (amphetamine/cocaine), however stimulants don't usually cause a life-threatening overdose. I tried 3 or 4 times to quit on my own, eventually my family had an intervention and I "sobered up" got a job and made this channel. Not every addict is the same, he could be suffering from a different/ more severe mental illness than PTSD. All addiction is caused by suffering.
@@LeonTalksALot it's stuck in my mind a long time. I knew his problems was related to his hometown. I was thinking the best option if he would cut ties with certain people and places and go for a fresh start. Easier said than done. Luckily I don't have many friends/family with addictions but there were some moments I should trust my gut feeling and help them out if needed. I'll be sure be more sympathetic with it. And thanks.
I wish the best to all undergoing an addiction. Hope you get better. Know that there's people out there that care, there's help. It's not impossible to be clean even if it feels that way.
Video is one year old but the outro of you talking really sat well with me so here is my part after getting out of addiction of hard drugs. You only got this chance, just imagine the Ups and Downs you went through, the very things that have gotten you into your addiction. You did it. You passed the worst parts, alife and still being yourself and all you are doing is taking the serenity, knowledge and strenght gained by those hard times and turning them & twisting them into something that simply and eloquently put just isnt feasable for you. So dont rob yourself of your future by rolling that joint or taking that hit. Take a Middle Finger to the drugs that robbed you of your potential and go take it. Its yours, it belongs to you and you only and there is no better day than today to start with taking your life back. The return of investment is non-measurable, i want you guys to make that discovery for yourselves.
From one person who's struggled growing up to another, I want to salute your courage to talk about your past publically on a video for everyone to see, stay strong
I meet my best friend at 16 and he was 24. I meet him during his first month of sobriety. I ended up moving into his recovery home with him and his roommates when i turmed 18. I meet many people and learned a lot about addiction. I am happy to say he is 16 Years sober and going on strong. He just recently gave up smoking as well. There is hope out there for everyone.
didnt know i needed this video, ive been trying to kick an addiction for a few years (getting closer and closer every day) and this just solidifies how important it is that i get clean. thank you. and to everyone else trying (and those struggling), we'll all get there eventually
If it's opiates, just Do it. It's hard but it will be over with before you know. If you're on fast acting opiates like heroin, hydrocodone etc withdrawal will be 7 days day 1-4 the worst. Long acting like fentanyl, morphine, methadone etc withdrawal can last up to 30 days no relief. But it plateues after a week. Won't be as intense as short acting, but will last alot longer. Dope sick is 90% trying to not panic and have anxiety, it makes it all worse. Any med that lowers blood pressure will help with alot of symptoms. DONT SMOKE WEED DURING WITHDRAWAL. It will mentally help for about 20 mins until your heart rate goes up and makes you feel worse.
As soon as I saw the thumbnail I verbally yelled out "CAIT!" Even though I haven't thought about her in like actual years. A wonderfully built character.
I'm coming from your video on Graham. Your talent to make videos about games along with deep introspection is great. I love how you're also open about your own struggles man, this video hits close. Love you, keep making vids.
Getting clean and staying clean are two very different things. What helped me with the latter was going to school, moving to a new town, and making new friends. Basically slowly building up a different world for myself that had new goals and reasons to keep going.
this came up on my recommended and legit had me tearing up at the end. excited to see more of your videos, man. glad you started on the right path and extending a hand to others like that by sharing your own story was very real of you.
As a former addict, hearing about Cait's story has been really moving, as you've said through out the video, it's very a very accurate depiction of why and how people are addicted, and I could relate a lot with what Cait said. My addiction started because of depression, so alcohol and drugs became the only way to ward off my suicial thoughts. Later in life I had managed to battle against my depression and I was able to live and function normally, but I keept using drugs and drinking, I didn't understand at first why I didn't just stop and go sober, but eventually after I ended up in a hospital bed from an overdose, I promised myself to become sober. And I managed to stay sober, but the reason why I needed something as severe as an overdose to convince me that quitting was a good idea is because I was super freightened that if I went sober that my depression would take control again, even if I knew the drugs and alcohol was harming me, it didn't compare to the pain the depression caused and the fear it inflicted. Luckly my fears were unfounded, I've been sober for 3 months and I'm the happiest I have been in years.
I cried at the end of this video because I found myself relating so much, and scrolling through the comments I saw yours and found myself relating further. I did not OD at any point, but after struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for the better part of my teens, and getting into debt repeatedly because of my addictions, I never stayed far away from home and my mother which I now know is the best thing I ever did to myself because it is thanks to my mother's support (emotional and financial) and belief in me that I was able to say "enough is enough". I cannot say I am deep into the jouney that is soberiety, but after 3 days I intend to keep it that way. The stabbing feeling described in the video never depicted my urges so clearly, it is so hard but I know it's for my own good and for my surroundings.
Remember this joy if it gets bad again. Remember that it was bad before but it's better now. Things always change; that's what keeps me going through ups and downs and it always gets better if you just keep moving. Wake up in the morning when it's hard. Go to bed when you don't want a good day to end. Let things pass and welcome the happiness back in every chance you get. I see you, and you are going to do great.
I was an alcoholic at one point, and the ending of the video really stuck with me, my partner helped me get clean bc he was worried about me when I didn’t give less of a shit about myself or if I lived, died, what I did; he protected me from that and helped me out.
As a recovered addict the speech at the end of your own struggles i felt that, this also pulled my heart like this, for me it took overdosing to come clean but im 5 years sober off a whole cocktail of pills and alcohol but theres always hope you can always fight that voice no matter how difficult it seems
This video was an unexpected gem, The story of Cait struggling her whole life goes straight to your heart. Your relation to the story is appreciated thank you for being honest that you aren't completely sober and still encouraging others .
Your ending monologue about addiction hit home for me also.. I was heavily addicted to cocaine for years, got myself clean and turned things around.. only to discover six months ago I had “cured” my glaring obvious issue - however I did nothing to repair what was below the surface fuelling my need to abuse substances in the first place. And so, six months ago, I began routinely using meth. It’s a lot harder to quit, I have found. I’m hoping I find the strength within myself to start 2023 fresh and not high. This is the goal I’ve set and your beautiful words inspired me and reaffirmed I, too, am capable of overcoming my adversities. Thank you.
@@187onaPigeon the way you worded that makes me wonder if you have any faith in that person. It takes a person a lot of courage to admit when they have a problem. I should know, I'm currently battling a alcohol addiction, it hasn't been easy but I'm slowly decreasing my alcohol intake so I don't get violent withdrawals that come with quitting cold turkey.
This was a great video and definitely made me want to pick up Fallout 4 again. I was addicted to fentanyl for about 7 months and it was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. It made everything harder and I was disconnected with my life. Psycho seems to be close to opioids irl and it really isn't fun to be addicted. It was fun when it started, but relying on a substance to get through the day is rough. You get sick when you don't have it or aren't able to use. It makes you feel shame and puts you in a standoffish position with your friends and family and there doesn't seem to be a way out when you can't quit on your own. Much like Cait, I had to get a special treatment (suboxone) to quit the fentanyl and I'm proud to say that I've been off of fentanyl for 1 year and 5 months and completely off any opioid (suboxone) for a year with no relapse. It took a lot to get help, but I'm glad I did. I didn't have to kill a bunch of gunners to get my treatment, but I did have to face my demons and realize I needed help. I'm not completely sober, but I am off of drugs and it does feel good. It also helps to have a fantastic support network around me and as much as it seemed like I couldn't get out of my addiction when I was in it, I could never see myself going back to that place. Thanks for sharing your story as well and to any addict our there, there is a way out, and there is no tried and true way to get sober, but it is possible.
Knowing nothing about fentanyl, How can people even do fentanyl without dying if it can kill EMTs through gloves? Do you have to use like literally one molecule how does that work? Good to hear you made it through that tho sounds terrible :(
I like this video so far (25:00), as someone who has experience with addiction from those around me and myself. but, addicts can put on makeup, addicts can (and often do) get 8 hours of sleep. Many (most) addicts are very normal people who you would never be able to tell are dependant on drugs. the addicts I've loved and known, and myself, we aren't different than other people. we have jobs, go to work or college, have partners, some of us have kids. we look and act normal. we live normal lives- we are normal. we don't usually look like Addict Cait. I just needed to say that. the stigma/belief of addicts looking like that adds to the way people see/treat addicts like monsters. in my experience, the addicts that act like apathetic monsters are the addicts that were monsters before they ever touched a drug. I truly believe drugs do not make people violent thieves or whatever. I've known a lot of addicts and majority were functional people who worked hard and were kind. they just also used substances or other activities to cope. keep in mind, addiction is not just for drugs. people can be addicted to damn near anything that gives you dopamine. shopping, gambling, sex, exercising, video games, *the INTERNET* (many of us are addicted to this. Millions of us.) yet, the first thing people think of are the stereotypical stick-thin, pale, skeletal looking druggies with pock marks on their face, sunken eyes, greasy hair, and a needle in their arm. it's so sad to me because anybody can be addicted to something and for most, no one would ever guess they are addicted/dependant. and when they tell someone they trust, they often lose that relationship due to the stigma and judgement and social bias against anyone that uses drugs- but that bias towards addiction *never* extends to "acceptable" addictions like to caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, video games, sex, *the internet,* etc. most people are not the stereotype- and those that are that stereotype genuinely deserve help, too, not to be spit on while they sit on the sidewalk or shunned and abused and told to go overdose because they're a waste of oxygen. how ironic and ignorant it is for the person using drugs to cope with trauma to be further traumatized by abuse from people judging them for using drugs. the best person I've ever met shot drugs. she died from shooting drugs. she was the closest thing to an angel I've ever believed in. she worked hard, was compassionate and kind, unbelievably forgiving, and just as loving. she was amazing. addictions do not make us who we are, we are much more than addicts. We are people. Assumptions and negative stigmas and biases hurt us. Other humans treat us poorly because they don't understand. I don't think "addict cait" is an accurate representation of the physical effects of drugs (especially not all drugs in general) for most users. I think that skin is the embodiment of societies stereotypical junkie, and "vanilla cait" is really extremely accurate representation- because addicts often look just like you, your mother, your neighbor, the churches pastor, your cousin, your sister, the strangers on the street... they look like normal people that you pass walking down a crowded sidewalk. they're just... people. every one is different, every person is unique.
Okay, but I'm going to pushback on this general notion that, say, "porn addiction" is the same as "heroin addiction." It's not. I'm not saying people can't get hooked, in a way, to basically anything. They can, I get that. But there is a difference when you have a chemical fucking you up. A gambling addict feels weird when not gambling, but a heroin addict goes through extreme physical pain during withdraws. They not only need to correct their behavior, but also to overcome physical symptoms that a shopping addict isn't going to face. I don't like that we use the same word for these two things. I also don't understand why you think addictions to other things, including alcohol, face no stigma--that's really strange. It ironically makes you look like the person dismissing the experiences of those who have struggled with those things, because I've absolutely seen them ruin lives and earn them judgment. Anyway, this leads to the point that most people, when severely addicted to drugs or alcohol for an extended period of time, do undergo physical changes. That stereotype exists for a reason. It may not ALWAYS apply, certainly not to those recently addicted or who maybe use a variety of different drugs at different times, but someone who does heroin or cocaine or meth or LSD on a daily basis, for years, is almost certainly going to show it outwardly. Hell man, people can tell when you're sick just from how you look different--you don't think burning up inside from powerful drugs will cause a change? My one ex was a recovered heroin addict; she was in her 20's back when we were dating, but her hands looked like the hands of a 65-year-old, all wrinkled, and her blood vessels were clearly visible. She was very embarassed by them. And she didn't even shoot up--she rolled it into joints and smoked it, so you'd think it'd be less severe. Furthermore, keep in mind that the mod in question is ALSO supposed to reflect her career; she's a cage fighter, fights to the freaking death--the scars and bruises should be there regardless of the drug use. AND, she lived with raiders; she probably didn't sleep much nor well, didn't eat well, never got to relax or destress for fear of getting a knife in the back.
Very inspiring. I am still an opioid addict and I wonder how I will get out of this. At least I am not on the hard opioids like heroin or oxy, I guess, but I need it to function, and honestly, it's hard for me to imagine a life without it right now.
@@Barneto you're not alone. I have wondered the same. it may not seem possible from where you're standing, but when you get tired of the chains, you will find a way to remove them. I'm proud of you! (kratom might be able to help if thats not the opiod you're stuck on)
@aislynj1303 kratom is the opioid I am addicted to lol. I've had my h, oxy and morphine phases but funnily enough never got addicted to those probably because they are too expensive. I try to control my urges to spend all of my money on that shit to sit there nodding all day and instead just swallow the way less expensive green powder and be a functioning member of society. It's legal, so it can't be bad :D (seriously some people do seem to think this unironically which is wrong but if you are on opioids that are even more powerful its definitely better than that)
To anyone who happens to watch this video and read this comment, I'm proud of you for kicking your addiction or for deciding enough is enough and starting that journey.
@@Freshmaker420last month i said this, today im in the middle of it, but the light at the end of the tunnel is nice :) i think there’s truth to what people are saying here
I nearly drank myself too death. Woke up one day and saw what i was doing. Ruining my girlfriends view of me and what love should be (i ignored her alot, which i make up for everyday), my mom wondering if im dead when i vanish for days at a time, my dad giving up on me, stopped pushing me like he use too. Saw my brother following in the same footsteps as me. I am now 7 months sober, lost 50 pounds and started working out and eating right. Now, im rebuilding the love and respect my family and friends had for me before i destroyed it while destroying myself. I didnt wanna die, i just didnt care if i did, i only felt like i was ok while drunk. I know booze isnt as bad as most things, but the point is we are all strong enough to beat anything together ❤ you just gotta open up and accept the help and love from others. I wish you all the best.
@@brandoncassibo6527 congratulations on your accomplishment, I'm proud of you. Its tough when you come to the realization that you need to change deciding to take that step takes alot of courage. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm 5 years sober and learning to love myself more each day
Homie. My man. My dude. My fellow Bussy enjoyer. I'm two videos in, and 39:16 is when you permanently won me over. Incredible analysis, great humor, heartfelt story. This is an amazing video, you're a man with an incredible amount of potential (in all capacities), and I only wish you the best in your future endeavors (even if they aren't TH-cam, life's weird!). I, for one, will be delighted to see whatever video you come out with next. But most importantly, I'm legally required to subscribe to a fellow Alpha Male Gamer Bussy Enthusiast 🙏
i was addicted to pills a few months ago and i couldnt stop popping them. i started to feel like shit constantly and vomitted occasionally and thats when i really started to realize i should stop. i still smoke weed but thats far better than what i was doing and even then i smoke only at night time. cait and this video helped me understand how hard addiction really is
Hey man. im so proud of you. I might not know you, but I love you man. keep yourself safe. make us all proud, pick up that life of yours and build something with it. youve already proved how strong you can be, go on and prove it again. I hope you succeed in your future. Have a great recovery
I'm glad you stopped before withdrawal got bad. Once you get to that point it's not easy to get off. I've been a heroin addict for almost 20 years now. I hate it. I only use to not be sick. I've died 11 times. I carry narcan inhaler and nose spray on me 24/7 never know when you'll get a bad fentanyl cut. Eventually you won't be using to get high, it turns into pure terror of being dope sick.
@@ScootsMcPootAll the ABC after school comments get all these likes. And prolly the realest comment I read was this one. 😮 These ppl have NO clue. They just want to feel like they can relate..Opiates are a different universe from alcohol etc. Been clean for over 15 years. Never relapsed. Not joking when I say getting past the detox sickness was what I imagine hell to be like..My prayers for you ❤ Be careful boss. When you reach that point of needing it to be or function normal. It's a very tough road 😢😢 You ever try sebox or methadone? Easier to step down the latter bit by bit as opposed to just cold turkey? I'm telling you. It IS possible ❤
Caits story and mannerisms were written by either someone who has an addiction or very familiar with it. Very well written. Some games do a horrible job but fo did it quite well even I. Regards to the vault w addicts on it.
the ending almost made me cry. Cait reminds me a lot of my mom. she died less than a week ago. She was an addict and wasn't happy with her life, I knew. I just wish she could have gotten help. I miss her. so much.
That ending was beautiful, man. It's exactly what I love so much about art, and especially video games- it's like connecting with a real person, because we are connecting with people through the medium. Even though I've since found my calling elsewhere, i originally wanted to develop games just so I could make those exact same kind of connections with people. It was a great video from the start, but that ending made it a perfect one in my book. Thank you for that.
Your end monologue is the most genuine emotion I’ve ever seen on the internet. I don’t think anything has ever made me feel the way you just did. Thank you sir. Congrats on beating your addiction 🫡
i remember the whole Kate saga too, and tho i was sober at the time i played, her shame and reluctance to talk about her addiction honestly was the part that really resonated with me the most. as someone w/over 12yrs, the most unrealistic part of it wasn’t the existence of a “spin-dry machine” but how this machine seemingly fixed her physically & mentally as well. they say “you can take away the alcohol, but you’re still left with the ic(k)” meaning it’s not only the physical withdrawals but the mental withdrawal pains that Kate must address if she wants long term sobriety. she’s gotta replace her addiction with something; be it exercise, spirituality or some combo of the two, else she’ll most likely relapse once she forgets how bad it used to be.
The Life is Strange music creeping in was a really nice touch. As a fellow recovering alcoholic much respect man, for me it was Bojack Horseman and watching his downward spiral that got me to pull out of the tail spin.
I’m a major addict. Like cait i cant go more than a few hrs without my fix. I use it all day from when i get up to when i go to bed. It makes me feel ok. Helps me do my job and start the day. Then gives me relief afterwards until I close my eyes. I really enjoyed this video. I relate to Cait a lot. But unlike her, my life has not been terrible. I have no good reason to be doing this. Other than being weak mentally. Giving in to the easy choice. But i would like to give sobriety a chance. Your honest words in the outro really spoke to me. I’m going to take this more seriously. Thank you. 🙏🏼
![TEEDEE TADA - DIAMOND NARAKORN X LEGO LYKN [Special Dance Performance]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QgtZedFeumA/mqdefault.jpg)
Sorry for all the new blurring to some of the scenes showing cait using her stuff.
I always loved this video and seeing it get age-gated sucked, luckily my new apeal got accepted within 30 minutes!
Thank you TH-cam
@LeonTalksALot TH-cam are assholes. Cait is so hot, I would totally breed her voice actor Katy Tounsend. Anyway Fallout 4 is awesome, best fallout and bugthesda game despite it's instability courtesy of that bastard zenimax CEO who fired all the top programmers who worked on all the previous games so he wouldn't have to pay them a few extra pennies, mostly because of the workshop and all the myriad mods for it. That and the mods that turn the game into FUCKING HALO.😁
Glad you kicked the booze man.
I always though Psycho as more of a meth clone than a PCP clone just because of the lack of visual effects that Jet and other hallucinogenic Chems have.
@@jacobrispoli4351wish I could kick the med-x (only Fallout 1 and 2 fans can accurately determine my addiction)
Gods bless you and your path you deserve the best.
The fact that Tommy isn’t even that upset that the player destroyed his business honestly says a lot.
He knows that sooner or later that one of his raider clients will shank him in the back. So thats explains why he is relieved when sole survivor kill them all. In his own way he might have cared for cait. But most likely he just dont want to find out what happened when cait is out of psycho. A Junkie who is in withdrawal aint exactly a person you want to be around.
I mean; you see in an SRB terminal that he's accepting institute kickbacks to rat out potential runaway synths. So financially he'll be alright without Cait.
I feel bad I think I killed them my first playthrough
@@chesterstevens8870 a what terminal?
@@westdakotaofficial7940
"Synth Retention Bureau." Go to the institute, follow the black line on the floor to their office, find the terminal that lists all their wasteland informants. Tommy and every single caravaneer is a snitch-ass.
I love how Cait feels so nervous to tell you she's addicted to psycho when I pop a medicine cabinet worth of Chems before every battle
It's a shame the game didn't have a route for you to encourage her addiction. As is, you either do the quest to cure her or you say you'll think about it. It makes no sense that you can't keep Cait at max affinity while playing an addict and is yet another unfortunate example of Fallout 4's railroading
Addiction should've been way rougher and harder to cure in fo4
@@doomstan That too honestly
@@smokey3504 You wouldn't be able to keep her as a companion that way regardless, since she'd wind up dead if you decided to go down the route of encouragement.
@@BatMan-sg9kh Fair point, but atleast you'd have a choice there
"... I'm addicted to Psycho."
"Damn that's crazy." *_You take a sip from your Trusty Vault 13 Canteen._*
@@steele_heart77 I'm aware.
"I GOT SPURS-"
@@steele_heart77It is the real Fallout 4.
Feed your crippling addiction to water.
@@DefaultFlame "Drink. Some. Nuka Cola."
The saddest part for me is, i never took her with me for many playthroughs, her facade scared me off, i didn’t want a mean rough type with me, and because of that, i abandoned someone who really needed my help without even knowing.
And that is the truest part, because that’s exactly what happens, people put up walls because they are scared, and those walls scare away the ones they need most
your bad... she and dogmeat are best companions. I mean theres other decent ones but since they´re all immortal these two are not annoying :D
That connection is too real
I'm glad I'm not judgmental of people irl and in games. That's wild
This is the most chronically online soylent thing I've ever read, she's not real, go touch grass.
"I didn't want a mean rough type with me"
>Playing a post-apocalyptic game
I originally got cait as a companion for her lockpicking. But I fell in love with her character it's just so real and raw. And the fact that she does a 180° after you complete her side quest is cool.
nice profile pic
I wonder if that's why I liked Cass in New Vegas.
She is also fucking funny. Her cynical character is the best xD I've never had another companion since I've met her
@@snusnu1726i just use cait as my sidepiece. Don’t get me wrong i relate to what the OC said and i love cait but… idk she coming from here she comes from she should be an empath to the settlement’s you help.
a 180 after the side quest?
Dude your ending monologue about your personal experience with addiction hit me hard. I too am an ex-addict. 7 yeard and 9 months ago i found out i was going to be a dad. I took my H and flushed it down the toilet, smashed my tray and never looked back. Your monologue brought back a lot of my emotion around who i once was. For anyone who is now struggling with addiction trust me each day gets easier after you decide to put it down. Every day that addiction gets a bit weaker. Don't stop the fight! Kick its ass! It can be done and just remember everything seems alot clearer once youre away from those demons.
Good for you ❤❤ and your child!
How are you now?
@@ジハ-u5k I am great actually! Happier than I have ever been and in a good place life wise.
Can you please tell me how you handled the withdrawals?
@@Destinyisforlosers24 not the right way. I chose to tough it out and quit cold turkey. Made my self very sick and it's not safe. I recommend actually seeking help but try to end up on Subo if needed. It helped two of my friends get clean a year after me and they were way deeper than I was. If someone wants to get clean they've already taken the hardest step and acknowledging their addiction. I hope this helps.
It's been 1 year and 17 days since I tried to "end it" by drinking a gallon of vodka and taking a full bottle of sleeping pills. The only thing that saved me was that I threw up during my sleep and woke up after sleeping for 13 hours. I realized what I had done and decided to sign myself into a rehab clinic that day. Unfortunately as soon as I got out I couldn't handle the pressure of everything going on in my life and I started drinking again. But this video made me realize I need to try again, I need to do my best to stop this self destructive behavior. Thank you for making this video, if nothing else, know you helped someone to make their mind up on how to move forward with their life.
You got it king
Youre a beast for even trying to stop. It's hard and it must be done. It's worth it king 👑
You got this. Stay strong
You've got this, we believe in you 👊👊
I hope you get through this man o7
I found out a girl I used to date overdosed this year; I always loved her, but every time I tried getting close to her she would push me away and disappear...I think she thought she was too broken, and that she would just hurt me. She was always so kind even though the world had been nothing but cruel to her, and the only thing she ever did that hurt me was when she hurt herself; I would've gone through hell and back to help her, but I guess maybe she was scared of being better too. I still cry about her passing and the world losing a good person, even though it'd been almost 2 years since we'd spoken when I found out a couple months ago, and I was crying throughout this whole video because of how much Cait reminded me of her. I never stopped thinking about her from time to time, and I always hoped she was ok, or even doing better without me, so learning that she's gone forever devastated me.
I guess my advice is to accept help from the people who care enough to give it to you; I know you might be scared you'll just hurt them, or that you don't deserve it, but how far they'll go to help and how much they think you deserve it is up to them, and they can see the good in you that you can't. The reason they want to help is because you hurting yourself is what really hurts them, not the things they might endure in trying to help you, so, please, don't push them away.
I'll never forget you Regan
It's always worth trying, but some things, and some people, simply cannot be helped.
o7
My condolences
If she pushed you away, it wasn't because of her addiction 😂😂one thing about us addicts is we cannot push those we love or are addicted to. It's more than likely she didn't love you back and had other self interests that didn't involve you. Some can't be saved but we move on.
@@themudpit621true. And not everyone wants to get help, they need to be willing.
I just sent this to the voice actress who did Cate because you did such a good job and I'm hoping it cheered her up
Given this was about her story and background, you shoulda sent to the people who wrote the character, not someone who reads from a paper. If this was what the amazing part, then what if Caits voice was on Pipers story? Yeah wouldn't work.
@@deenaxic9134we all know there a team behind it but whats wrong with praising one of them? You dont need to be negative about 1 of many artists being appreciated. Grow up
@@ValkyrQt I liked the voice, it's super. But being a voice actor is hardly "praising the artists behind the complex character of Cait".
@@deenaxic9134 It's not either/or, don't be an asshole. The acting is as much part of the character as the writing, and rarely is on the script.
@@deenaxic9134 how? Voice acting is not "just reading the script" thats not how it works
Fo4 has a special place in my heart. Cait was one of my favorite characters, especially after she opens up a bit and talks about her issues.
INB4 some NV jackass comes in and types a wall of text why New Vegas is the best game.
I used to love NV but the fanatical, cultish fans ruined the game for me.
Dogmeat superiority gang
@@cpt-cheese3489 i use a mod to have dogmeat and cait because both are the best
@@cpt-cheese3489 Haha he's special for sure, but cait is an actual character u know
@@Brunothechillman that mod is always in my playlist
I did not expect the ending to this video. Thank you for confessing to your own struggles and for offering encouragement to others in the same situation. You brought tears to my eyes for using your platform to help others!
Addiction is fiction.
Honestly as an addict myself the moment I saw the video I assumed the TH-camr had to be an addict himself because it just does not seem like the type of video non addicts would make. We get a lot of hate from non addicts frequently or they forget about us, hence whatever the fuck that guy above me means about fiction. But I’m only a minute in and new to the channel, assume it’ll be solid
@@monhi64 addicts are fictional however.
@@bunk95 Okay bro
So anyways-
@@bunk95 you got extremely low iq
I was not expecting that ending or beautiful outro. Thank you for your bravery and honesty in sharing your story. You're using your platform to inform and help others, and I'll say that it's helping me. I've been secretly struggling with alcoholism for quite some time now. It numbs pain and makes me feel happier, but I hate how it drains my wallet, makes me ill, makes me fat and makes me blackout pleasant moments I do want to remember. I've tried and failed many times, but every day is a new day, and today is day 3 of sobriety.
Thank you again for your vulnerability in this great video. Congratulations on your own sobriety, and be proud that you have had a positive impact on others' lives.
4 months in, figured I’d check up on you random commenter
I hope you are doing ok❤
7 months sober here, dad's almost 20 years sober, all things are possible brother always hit up your local AA group they're hella chill I guarantee it
@@MattBurns10252 I've got a friend who invited me to come along to an open AA meeting at their sponsor's house. It was a great time and I learned that I get along suspiciously well with alcoholics lmao
Very much the same here. Hope you're doing well
You can't see trauma, you can't hear trauma, and you don't know you're feeling trauma until you do. Give people the benefit of the doubt, especially yourself.
my new favorite youtube comment
Na. Be accountable to yourself.
@@tonycordero6105 accountability includes being not to harsh on oneself recognising one's fault and aiming to fix it.
@@tonycordero6105 I don't see why these things must be mutually exclusive.
well said
i'm honestly happy cait takes it well when you decide to keep your relationship with her platonic, i was always worried in the back of my mind that she'd take us choosing her romantic options and getting the lover's embrace perk as her somehow "repaying" her debt to us and i do not want to bring that poor woman any more emotional damage than she already has :(
I feel this way too. as someone who has severe PTSD I know firsthand that sex doesn't tend to feel very wholesome for people like us. I (especially as a woman) always tend to feel like I need to "give" sex in order to receive "love".. it is an awful feeling that permeates every aspect of my relationships- to the point where i find myself viewing all relationships as transactional no matter how many years they last. I would never want to make anyone else feel like I was using them- not even a fictional character.
@@pgyws5137i don’t have ptsd to my knowledge but you put a feeling into words I wasn’t able to, especially as an asexual
@@pgyws5137 I guess everything we were taught was wrong, but I do still believe in true love, and sex does not have to be the main currency for it.
It’s just genuine affection from my point of view, people all have learned different things throughout their lives and some fell victim to the supposed norms of having to be macho bad ass to get a woman, and women being sexy and submissive to get a man, things like that were all over the media when growing up and thinking to ourselves, is this really how it’s supposed to be??
When you become a addict, things are different, nothing brings you joy anymore, good memories only bring pain of a time that was happier and you can’t get those back, and the future just seems bleak, as if it’s already over because of the cycle we are lost in.
Life sucks yes, but you can’t give up, good people are out there still and good things can still be experienced, it’s never the end unless you legit lose your breath, your heart stops, and brain shuts down.
Yeah. And then you can't husband up Hancock.
@@jerrym1218 men do need to be manly and women do need to be feminine and submissive. Media didnt make that up its a natural thing in the law of attraction. And since media is trying to change that now is why men and women are worse off than ever. I thought it was all bullshit shit myself for years. And it lead to nothing but bad relationship after another. To the point i stayed single for 5 years. But once i was in a relationship that is in the order of things. Things got better. After 3 years i have no complaints and neither does she. Im the man and i lead even when its hard to do so. And she is my better half that submits to the way i lead us through life. I would do anything for her and her for me. Its not 50/50 we both have to give it 100% every day and it just works. If one party doesn't give their all it all comes apart. So dont give yourself to the wrong person and you will see that natural laws between men and women do work. I hope you can have what i have one day. You will see when it happens.
Cait's story ends with you pushing a button that gets rid of her addiction. Truly the Fallout 4 version of a well-crafted tale of vice and weakness.
Christ if that isn’t the most apt description of of Fallout 4s writing I’ve ever seen. There’s some true brilliance dogged down by utter garbage, it’s depressing honestly
I was so astonished at how bone headed of an ending that was. Ruined it for me
Fallout 4 just decided that the best way to implement any game element was to hand it to the player on a silver platter.
Yeah...I can't agree with this video's premise at all. The sheer cartoonish nature of that ending was so stupid to me
It's like, the rest of her development as a character and as a companion is Incredible, but they absolutely flubbed the ending by having it be a damn magic addiction-b-gone button
"Surviving the Combat Zone must have been rough." ☝🤓
Cait is the best romance option, since it doesnt feel like some surface level thing. Cait genuinely can grow to respect and love the player in a way she never thought possible with her history. She of all people deserve a bit of happiness through the wasteland.
Disgusting. Imagine thinking a junkie is the 'best romance option.' It is all surface detail; she is just telling a 'woe is me story' That isn't anything but surface level
junkies don't deserve happiness; they bring everything on themselves
@@pyropulseIXXI what sort of demons are you fighting bro.
@@pyropulseIXXI ah yes
Woman kidnapped by raiders to fight for her life in the rings and addicted to chems because of her horrible childhood
Bad woman 😡😡
@@swapertxking im fighting junkies bro. If you met them in real life, you'd know they are literal demons. You help them, they steal your car
@@pyropulseIXXI maybe actually helping people can get them to clean up as it were. somethings are easier when people believe in you.
Bro I'm an addict (heroin & crack cocaine) and I just passed 5 years clean on the 4th of this month. You did an amazing job here. And as I'm gonna assume you aren't addicted to drugs, I find it awesome that you were able to connect and see her pain in such a way. Well done bro. 👏
+1sub
He talked about his own addiction at the end. Also, keep doing yourself proud. Not many people can claim being clean that long, and that’s awesome.
@@FernBlackwood1995 thank you! 6 years on the 4th of next month!
I'm a full lifetimes worth of being clean
Where's my attention for not giving into drugs in the first place
Give me attention
@lukemorgan6166 that's a "yet"
Just because you haven't experimented with drugs up to this point, doesn't mean it can never happen. Sounds like you're asking me to pre emptively pat you on the back for a race you haven't finished yet. Stop seeking validation from strangers on the internet
Congrats!! I hope you’re still doing well :)
I strongly relate with you and Cait. I'm a recovered alcoholic. 17 years ago I was to the point of drinking to punish myself and try to end myself due to the trauma I suffered as a child. I hated myself for things that someone else did to me.
Thankfully I'm 40 now and much much happier. The bottle never gave me relief from my pain, my friends and family helped me overcome it.
Proud of you man. Great job on fixing your life up, I only hope others do the same. I have a very, very strong admiration for you. I hope you have a wonderful and fulfilling life, because after a battle like that, you deserve it. Addiction sucks. im so glad you overcame it
Any advice for overcoming addiction?
I'm 24 and ngl, low-key struggling, I don't have shit to hold me back and after losing everything, you just get tired of it all. Maybe one day I'll be 40, and find happiness as well. Take care out there
What’s one more drink come on you’ve done so well one drink won’t hurt
@@lileighth❤😂🎉😢😮😅😊
I still remember the day my dad was sitting at the table I had walked down to get me something to eat for breakfast, he looked up at me and said “can you sit down for a second” me being like 13 or 14 at the time, I did. He broke the unfortunate news to me that my uncle had been sent to rehab because he was an alcoholic, up until that point I had always thought my uncle was this clean and god fearing man, but he wasn’t. I remember seeing him after he left rehab since my dad wouldn’t let me see him in there. He left and everyone in the family was proud of him… but one night the stress of life got to him again and picked up the bottle once more he started drinking again and I remember in 8th grade after a football game I went to see him, I saw his eyes and they were yellow, and he looked like a shell of his former self, I told him that he needed to clean up, put down the bottle and make a god example for his kids and for me (yeah an 8th grader telling a nearly 50 year old man to be responsible) he looked down and cried and said he would… a couple months into COVID he went into the hospital because he wasn’t feeling well that day
He never left that hospital, he died there and didn’t go peacefully.
Lost my uncle the same way.
Sorry you had to go through that. Hope your doing ok.
My mom was also an alcoholic. She ended up dying from liver cirrhosis at the ripe old age of 49. It was an awful thing to watch and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Those yellow eyes and jaundiced skin are a telltale sign it has gone too far. I'm sorry about your uncle and I hope you are doing well.
29:25 Recovered addict here. I absolutely relate to the fear of life being different post sobriety. I was so far gone, I'd forgotten what it was like to not either be high or sick. I genuinely didn't know what between felt like & it scared me.
However, I hate how media portrays recovery as a quick, easy montage. Whether consciously or not, it conveys to audiences that recovery is simple & therefore the fault of the addict to not just "kick the habit." In reality, recovery is a daily struggle. I'm 10 years sober. It gets easier every day, but it's still there.
As cliche as it may be, my son is the reason I got clean. I hit a very low point when I was sick, & not understanding what was happening, he just wanted me to play with him. I told myself that he deserved more than a junkie for a mother, so I sought professional help.
A lot of media is genuinely really shitty about that. The best way I've seen addiction and recovery portrayed was in Bojack Horseman. Seems like a silly cartoon about a talking horse but it's actually very in depth and hit me harder than I ever expected
Also congrats on your sobriety! I'm glad you can be there for your son and I know he'll be proud and grateful to you for it when he's able to understand
It’s not cliché at all. Eric Clapton got sober because of his son Conner. It’s a very good reason to. I know it’s not much from a stranger, but I’ll say it anyways, I’m very proud of you.
It's hard. I'm technically 4 years clean from the hard stuff but I still drink. While I have greatly cut that back I just don't see myself as 100% sober. Still, better than what I was doing.
@@Dylan_Sterling his son that died??
Cait is too real in the addiction side. I am playing the game now for the first time and I just cried. I love Curie she's like a curious fluff but Cait just... wow. I found this video because I was kinda searching that bc I understood. The writers of this character story know their stuff.
I use to be addicted to opioids and looking back I’m so happy. It’s important to leave your old cricle behind leave the people that supply you and motivate you to go further down the hole called addiction. Feeling numb really isn’t the same as true happiness you get from sobriety.. Great video 🤞
I feel ya I was once addicted to weed
@@rootfish2671 not really comparable dude... 🤦
There's a huge difference between using heroin for years turning into a zombie, and smoking blunts all night and ordering dominos.
@@Clos93 once because of weed I beat my brother with his own dog.
@@rootfish2671 cool story bro!
@@rootfish2671 You never smoked a joint in your life. Stop lying.
Congratulations on your sobriety! I was thinking the whole time that you must have some personal experience with addiction. You describe it so well. In a way only someone who has been there can. I thank you for sharing your story, and encourage you to keep sharing it. You have the potential to help many others. I wish you all the best! ❤
Going for the romance route with Cait was a really suprising journey and honestly she is a very layered character in comparison to piper or others.
Piper is layered too. The problem is that compared to the rest of your companions she's one of if not the most "normal" and well-adjusted. This can make her seem less interesting as she doesn't have any inner demons to conquer or old scores to settle, but it doesn't make her a bad or simple character. She still has a past that drives her, a family she works to protect, and ambitions for the future. She's just "normal" compared to someone like Nick or Cait.
@@DovahFettbut she got bigger boobs. Big plus
@@DovahFett I was going to type something out about Nick being probably the most layered character alongside Deacon but TH-cam wiped everything I just typed away because of an ad.
@@DovahFettwish there was more interactions between Piper and her sister. Off the top of my head I can only think of one and after Piper’s recruited she basically is never home with her anymore lol.
I played this game until .. something on Bethesda network broke forcing me only to play with offline mode. But I have to disagree. There is no way I will agree that only Cait was layered. Especially after Betha sold me the perfect example of masked depression staring at me for all that time, yet so elusive to diagnose. I spent helluva time wandering with Preston as companion trying somehow to understand - why it's fine but ... also off, and answer was all along something so familiar to me and yet so elusive. That last speech check with him lives rent free in my mind all the time, because it was absolutely something that any depressed person would admit to. It was something I would do had I been on his place. Just suck up and pretend for the sake of others to finish your duty, then once it's finally over go and find a loose bullet to end it all. And that doesn't mean that all others aren't layered, I definately think Piper, Nick, Danse or Deacon were layered. This game did superb job on writing companions.
I romanced Cait in my second playthrough. I've never suffered from addiction but I could relate to the PTSD story. I gave her a ship captain hat to wear and she looked positively adorable
Addiction and PTSD are fictional things. You think of how the fiction can be used to assist in describing things outside of the fiction but using whats whats made to be thought of substance doesn’t apply to you?
You used what could be thought of as a substance and felt better at some point in time right?
Youre in what could be made to be thought of as a post revolutionary prison colony system right?
Addicts often go to fictional places such as prison.
down bad
Getting every known std in the wastelands
Well i suffered from both and now im depressed, life is life i dont write it so someone can cry
I write it to show people can be normal after that stuff, theyre just different, same as everyone
@@Peyote1312 😂😂😂
I was once an alcoholic. I drank myself to blackout at least twice a week. I met a friend who I became very enthralled with quickly. He liked my art and would always encourage me. He was a great friend and I liked him a lot. I began to get sad though because I realized I couldn't remember our conversations. The alcohol would clean my trauma but it also robbed me of all the good and wonderful conversation I had with this friend. I had been on several attempts of going sober now. So instead I just went cold turkey. I haven't had a black out since December 2022. I don't even find alcohol appealing in any casual context whatsoever any more. I went cold turkey for about four months and came back to it but realized it didn't have the same effect. It didn't help dull any pain and if anything it was just a nuisance.
The line between casual enjoyment to a vice and addiction is a slippery slope and it's hard to know that you feel like shit until you stop feeling like shit, and this world is full of vicious cycles, I'm glad to hear this one didn't win, good job, proud of you :)
Cold turkey? You're lucky you didn't die, tbh. Quitting alcohol cold turkey can kill you, literally.
Fuckin proud of you, stick with it!
Booze is a dangerous thing. Glad you burned yourself out of it, not finding the appeal in it anymore is one of the greatest things when recovering and I hope you keep improvin!
Fuck yeah, keep goin on man!
I watched this video like a year ago and it is now back. This was a good video Leon.
Thanks aleks, I was literally watching your video on the ghk mk18 yesterday
Us germans are so cucked we cant even have full auto airsoft guns
As a heroin addict due to my PTSD it's nice to see addiction portrayed in a way that isn't just "drugs bad screw junkies". I kicked it and was clean for a good so many months, until the flashbacks started up again, and now I barely leave my bed except to get my methadone and get my fix. Working on getting legitimate meds to help deal with the flashbacks so I can kick it again.
i’m sure one day you’ll overcome it, i believe you are strong enough. be patient. you got this :)
stay strong, youll get there, good luck
God be with you son
Good luck, dude. We believe in you!
You’ll kick that addiction right in the balls, and I know it!
Cait really reminds me of an ex girlfriend I had in my freshman and sophomore year of highschool. Of course not to the point of being sold to slavery but the awful "care taking" her parents did just made her so devoid of finding any comfort in living. Before we had broken up she had smoked weed and cigarettes and would drink with her older sister. She had cut herself in any place that could be covered by clothing, even telling me that she had run out of space and started cutting the bottoms of her feet. And she was covered in self made scars on each arm, leg, wrist, to the point where she would feel so embarrassed by anyone who saw them which created a vicious cycle of having no self-esteem and continuing more. We had broken up fairly quickly since this was all at 15 and I already had so many problems of my own and I couldn't support her problems along with my own, especially after numerous visits she made to mental hospitals. I found out more and more over the few years that she smokes meth and just had a baby over the summer, most likely not with a fitting father; all before she turns 18 at the end of this month. This video makes me hope that there can be a better outcome for her, if any one deserves an extractor chair, it'd be her.
I honestly don't get why you'd even waste time like people like this. Their 'woe is me' story is, while often true, also a front and cover to excuse their terrible behavior. Also, smoking weed and cigarettes is nothing. And drinking isn't anything either. Plenty of us skaters smoked pot in high school, and many smoked cigarettes but I didn't. And no one was cutting themselves
If you've ever met a real junkie, you'd know this. Instead of wasting energy trying to 'fix' a person like this, you should just let them do their own thing. If they want to get better they will; if they don't, they will self destruct. You cannot fix them or "support their problems." That mindset is cancerous
@Sandra Swan yeah like he didnt even mention the METH
@@pyropulseIXXI I smoke weed, cigarettes, and sometimes drink, I know this. I don't do it to fill a void, I do it to have fun. Maybe I could say she wasnt an "addict" of any substance but she definitely was an addict of trying to fill an empty void inside with anything that could distract her from her lifelong trauma. And I do agree that she was very self-destructive. However I cant help but be sympathetic to anyone who lives like she does, I mean literally smoking METH my guy. It's okay to let people wrong themselves because it really is at the end of the day up to them how they decide how to deal with their problems but for fucks sakes, show SYMPATHY to those who live in constant struggle. I have ceased contact with her for over 3 years and she wronged me many times. I'm not giving her an excuse. I'm not giving her money or my time for her to waste (anymore). Instead, I take my experience with her and feel for others and what they go through because I personally had second hand experience through it. I honestly do help she gets better however it is out of my control, but I can and have used that experience in help for others. Anyways, Cait was fucked up in a very dramatic sense for story telling to be worse than everyone else because everyone else already lives in a wasteland that is hell. My comparison comes from a real world that is much better than a fictional one, where her life is very much worse than the average one.
@@pyropulseIXXI Jesus man, have some sympathy for a fellow human being. Its not like he was condoning her actions but hes allowed to still care for her. Not everyone can have a life that's sunshine and roses, most of us just do what we can with the cards we're dealt & deal with the pain we have. Tbh id rather spend my time trying to help a person like her, then waste 5 minutes with someone like you.
@@pyropulseIXXI You have the empathy of my dog (doesnt exist).
32:23 Thats what makes this vault experiment so evil. For one, they had the tech to cure all addiction within seconds and withheld it. Two, after curing all the drug addicts in the vault, they reintroduced every drug they had, and watch as the addicts got readdicted to their vices.
I use to drink hard-core 4 years ago certain drugs will kill you when you detox booze is one of them you shouldn't go cold turkey like I did and do a detoxification ritual just search it up on yt how to detox I still do dabs and vape but I wanna get completely Clean in the future I also love Cait too rugged tomboy i want to smash too bad it's just a game but fr this made me feel things when I played fallout 4 and listened to the dialog somethings just were straight fax and was part of the reason I quit drinking it feels good man for a little bit then nothing. if your struggling just know you can do it have a little faith in yourself and know that it is worth it
It is also very hauntingly accurate depiction of addiction in that even after getting over an addiction, the burden is still there. The addiction leaves a scar that is too easy to reopen. Like a wound that never fully heals and leaves an itch.
@@CheesyKnobby The problem is not "addiction", really. The problem is that drugs… work.
Don't get me wrong, drugs grant you net negative over the course of your life, but a lot of people simply don't believe in dying from the old age. People know that they won't really get any respect as they grow old, they know that they are at their prime age here and now, they know that bulk of their current decisions and moves will decide their position in life later. So, they are ready to give everything they have… but what if that's not enough?
THIS IS WHERE DRUGS PITCH IN.
And people find themselves in a better playing grounds with them. They are now faster, stronger, better at concentration. Nervous? It's gone. Feeling weak? Here is the body hammer. Feeling blue? Here are pills that make you feel NOTHING as opposed to EMPTINESS.
Drugs are like credits - they expand your oportunities and you pay for them later. So you feel no regrets and empowered till they flow.
And THEN you hit the ground. You can go clean, but you will always remember how productive you were. You are weak, pathetic man and being a "just better" man is one pill, shot or whiff away.
And this is why most "going clean" therapies don't work - your local psychologist says things to you that you KNOW are bullshit. Drugs work, drugs are nearly miraculous, drugs are powerful tools, a 99 level boost to your lvl 1 peasantry… that puts you on the deathclock. A Frostmourne that may solve many of your problems only to ruin everything as you are falling apart.
@@burningsinner1132 where did you get this from?
@@flippy4805 I don't need someone else to write my minds and observations.
my partner recently celebrated 6 months sober from alcohol and to hear not only the story of Cait through this game (my partner loves the Fallout games and show), but your story as well made me very emotional. I will definitely be showing him this video because I know that it will leave an even bigger mark on their heart. Thank you :)
❤🤘
Damn, the ending legit made me cry. I’m trying to get through this, and I hope someday I can come back here and say I beat my addiction.
hope you’re doing well:(
What were you addicted to?
Get the violin out 🎻
you’ve got this, friend! 2 years clean here and it continues to be so worth it
I want to point out this 'wulfoke' commented this 10 mo ago (from me posting this comment) and I have been trying to quit for, um...3 years now.
11 months ago was when I joined a weekly class like AA thro kaiser. I try every day... but hasn't made it thro yet. Went 3 days last week, but didn't last past that.
Nows time for your violin, @$$hole...
No one can do it for you...but its helpful to have someone by your side. Since addiction is already such a lonely he[[ to begin with.
I liked this video, and for him to add his part at the end made me put my box away for today...and hopefully tomorrow too...
One day at a time is how we get thro this.
And yes, one person can drive you to use again, or to put the box away.
Try to be the reason someone doesn't use, instead of the reason they do.
Hope you got clean @wulfoke or the least are still trying....
And thanks for this video, @LeonTalksAlot It got me to get thro today...
(Hugs)
The fact that you added Cry of Fear music and scenes into this is amazing. Cait is the best depiction of addiction, and Simon is the best depiction of depression and anxiety. COF's developer is a wonderful person. Andreas Rönnberg I believe it's spelled. He has struggled with depression, anxiety, and psychosis. He used those painful experiences and made it into a game. His work truly helped me when I needed to express my feelings towards my therapy, and for that I thank him everyday. I see the same affect with Cait. Thank you for bringing to light another great character that'll help (and from the comments has helped) many people understand their feelings and potentially help their addiction
Based.
i was wondering what game the music was from, it has been so long that i saw cry of fear and i really think i wanna replay it now
i’ve been an alcoholic and a drug addict for like 2 years since my dad passed away, i was depressed before that happened actually and the worst thing is i’ve been dumped by my first ever girlfriend 2 weeks after i lost my dad. all i can tell you is do not self medicate with drugs and booze as i did, it never helped only eased my pain a little for a short period of time.god bless my mom who noticed it, quite late but still, and had me go visit a psychiatrist. now one year later i’m sober, i don’t drink any more or smoke weed and currently trying to quit smoking ciggies. sorry for bad grammar at places, english isn’t my native language
ps i just needed to share my life story and i think this comment section is a goddamn good place for it
I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m very proud of you for beating addiction ❤️
i'm proud of you
Based alcoholic
Thanks for sharing man. I lost my dad a year ago too, when I was 26. It's an enormous hurdle to get over for sure. I am a pretty handy guy and he taught me everything I know. He was my mentor in that as well as in life. I still have projects around the house that I don't have the strength to start because I would have probably called him for help on or his advice on. For instance my sprinklers (a year later) are still broken because I was planning on asking for his help on them before he died. It's not that I'm not confident that I can do them, it's just that I can't find the heart to do them alone when he would have been there helping me and telling me a funny story about the past while we bonded over work. My older brothers a joke, and besides my mom I don't have family. I tell you its an awful feeling being the man of the family and the person everyone looks to and the end all be all of guidance and wisdom. But it has been rewarding stepping into that role. Only advice I can give you is try to take the high road, be the best man in the room that everyone looks to after your father passes. Want to talk about it? Tell me more about your story.
Even though you're a complete stranger on the internet, I just want to say how amazing it is that you got yourself out of the dark place. I'm proud of you man!
Was addicted to marijuana for a few years - horribly so. Coping with many things out of my control, it was about the only thing I could depend on for relief. Almost every waking moment of mine was spent under the influence. Smoking so much took a toll on my body, and more importantly, my mind. Slowly, and almost unnoticeably up until the end, my thoughts faded - a mind that was once bright, observant, and full of ideas, turned absolutely silent.
I spent the last few months battling my depression of realizing I was no longer able to think, envision things, or remember my past. It felt like the world was closing in, and I began making lots of bad choices.
A feeback loop; I struggled to break the cycle. I was surrounded by people who enabled the behavior, and those who didn't were hardly around. I had put myself in a bad spot. Engulfed by shame and stuck in a loop, it was almost insurmountable. Almost.
A certain incident snapped me back momentarily, like I awoke from zome sort of trance. From that day forward, I vowed to never let myself go again. I still deal with the cravings and mood swings, and my mind is still recovering, but it's better this way. I'm thankful for those who stuck around and helped me.
Bruhhh, can relate! Ppl think MJ addiction is a joke or that it’s not really an issue worth addressing but it can slowly send you down an awful path. I truly believe that weed is a gateway drug that only leads to bad decisions! Recently got a DUI, this was my turning point. Still not where I want to be in life but at least I’m aware of the issue and I’m proactive about wanting to change! I’m not a chronic smoker anymore. Only the occasional sesh with the homies.
There’s literally nothing addictive about weed
You do not get withdrawals
You cannot die, from ODs or sudden sobriety
Sorry not trying to downplay yalls struggle, but you’re blaming your issues on a plant that a ton of people use responsibly, recreationally and medically for decades.
you weren’t addicted. MJ feels good and you were at a low point, so you abused it to try and cope. Again, not digging at you, just offering another perspective.
@@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access weed literally does have withdrawals (insomnia, low appetite, anxiety, headaches) and just because you don't die or have the risk of an OD doesn't mean that its not addictive. you literally said "MJ feels good" and when you do something that makes you feel good your brain remembers that response and makes you wanna do it even more, stop spreading misinformation.
@@Werewolf.with.Internet.AccessNever have I ever read anything so goddamn misinformed...
@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access I'd like to disagree, I've smoked 2-3 times a day damn near every day for the last 4 years, I can't sleep without it sometimes, I struggle to eat without it, and I've slowly just got stuck in the "loop" and whenever I become aware of it, I smoke. I don't know if I'll ever stop unless i go for a career which requires me to kick it. But regardless I wish I was never introduced to it because I know my outlook on life would be alot less depressing if I stayed sober
My brother is in rehab right now. I've seen him plunder further and further into a wild depression mixed with paranoia. He phone called me and his voice, only after 3 weeks of sobriety, god it felt so nice. There is always a way to go through things, never lose hope.
He will back in 6 months, and I'm looking forward to see my brother smile and look at me in the eyes without the guilt he has been hiding.
I hope he’s doing well now :)
Wishing him the best and a happy, peaceful future. ✨
my step sister’s still off somewhere else with a bf who is feeding her issues. i’d like to think she’s trying but i’m not sure. hurts to think about. i hope you and your brother are doing well now.
AW you are both so strong! I hope you're doing well and healthy 🙏🙏🙏💖💖💖
Hope hes doing well now
The line "I encourage you to give sobriety a try" made me want to drop an addiction I don't even have with how diplomatic and friendly it was said.
then you have no idea what you are talking about ,respectfully
@pomax1464
Quit sugar from your diet completely, and that goes for all artificial sweeteners as well. You’ll suddenly realize you have an addiction. That means no foodstuffs with added sugar, nothing made with flour because the body turns that to sugar in no time, no fruit juices or smoothies because that’s liquid sugar even if you don’t add any. Basically vegetables and fruits in their solid form. Dairy and eggs. And fresh meat and fish. Bacon, burgers, sausages etc. are often no go because of added sugar. I tested it myself, can say sugar is way more addictive than Columbias favourite powder.
It wasn't really that impactful
your comment makes me wanna cry. do not ever try to help an addict, you'll ruin them even more.
@@cfcfan72 I attempted a no sugar diet, what surprised me the most (besides finding out how addicted I actually am to the stuff) was that sugar is in everywhere. Like literally in every bit of food there's some added sugar. I watched the documentary Sugar Coated (which can now be watched on youtube) and it really opened my eyes to how dangerous sugar actually is. I failed the diet, but I still managed to cut down on sugar a lot.
Ever since my dad died at the beginning of this year, I’ve been drinking way more. It sucks because he was an alcoholic, himself, and that ultimately led to his death. Makes me feel like I’m literally turning into him. I haven’t gone longer than 3 days without drinking in months. I literally just woke up after drinking earlier. I’ve wanted to stop but then some excuse pops up. This video made me want to try again. Especially what you said about your past with alcohol. So, thank you. I needed to see this.
My condolences man, rooting for things to turn around for you.
You can do it, you have a life to live! Go to rehab if you need to and do research on how others have recovered from addiction
My dad lost his battle with addiction in February 2020, I was never one to drink, but I did other things throughout high school.
I try to put myself in a position where I can't make an excuse or do mental gymnastics to come up with a reason to use. Keeping busy, finding a passion, and becoming addicted to that thing will make it so a lot of other things fade away into the background.
I hope this helps bro, good luck.
hey man fellow alcoholic here. maybe try going to AA. its not a one size fits all but so far it has worked for me and turned my life around so maybe it can help you too. either way i wish you the best and hope you recover soon
You can do it. Just believe in yourself. You'll be so happy and proud when you stop the addiction. You are also getting more energy to continue life. 💪🏻
As an outcast with family and later substance issues, Cait is the most relatable character for me too.
I owe the algorithm big time for sending your channel my way. Props for being vulnerable at the end, you said some thing that a lot of people needed to hear. Myself included
It's sad that the combat zone was basically unfinished, I still love how people brought it back in the mod creation area. Overall, good video, and good luck on TH-cam bud
Edit: Listening your heartfelt story about your point of view, just made me sad, realizing that you truly understood what she went through during her addiction, I truly hope the best for you, and a good luck in life.
There is a mod that restores the Combat Zone.
Yes, it was said in the video, and that's what I meant by "people brought it back in the mod creation area" even though it might've been worded poorly
Almost 6 years sober from heroin and crack, and this is seriously one of the most meaningful depictions of addiction I’ve ever seen. And to think it all stemmed from a game!
Thank you so much for making this video. I’m sure it will instill some sort of hope and drive for others out there that really need it. Congrats on kicking alcoholisms ass and spreading the message that it is NEVER impossible to beat your addictions, no matter how helpless it may seem.
Absolute Gigachad
damn bro you went sober from heroin and crack? probably the hardest drugs to get clean off of. congrats
You're so amazing 🫶
keep goin man. making people on the internet proud
Good on you buddy, you a hero.
dude this is such a good video! I had a harsh up bringing myself, and being surrounded by addicts my whole life didn't help. I've always looked at life head long (no addictions) because when I was young I realised the addicts that I was around still carried the pain/trauma they had with them in the same bottle they drank from. It has been difficult to find people to talk to about my past traumas because of that environment. I'm learning to catch myself before I fall so to speak, slowly but surely. Speak more openly about my problems. To not be so hard on myself about those things, I wouldn't treat someone else that harshly. Why be so hard on myself? I think this video is a good bearing for the moral compass on addiction. Its very human. Thank you for sharing
This is why Cate is my favorite companion. I feel like she has the most harrowing backstory with such a wholesome end. Well not necessarily end, but second start I guess. There's something about it that just makes you feel so good after you complete her quests.
Thank you for making this video and telling your story. I have never played this game, I just clicked on it because I wanted to see how a video game portrays something I have been living (or rather, surviving) with. Witnessing Cait's journey was extremely relatable, and the most important thing is that you spoke softly of her and stayed by her side when no one else in the goddanm world did. I felt like I, too, may deserve some kindness and understanding. The ending of the video is what broke me and made me shed a tear. I have been struggling for so many years I simply cannot remember or imagine what being sober even feels like. But now I feel encouraged to at least give sobriety a try, because maybe, just maybe, I will be able to overcome my fear of sobriety too. I thank you and I wish you a life full of kindness and sobriety.
This is always a controversial take, but I honestly really relate to Cait's story in my history with Anorexia. I won't get into my trauma, but like, most people are generally horrified and like ask me to stop talking to them because they don't want to know things like that are real in the world. One of my best friends struggles with opiate addiction and has since she was 12, so I've followed that road by her side too.
I had tried to get better in my early 20s. My whole teen years I thought I was fat, (ironically BMI charts always said I was overweight, but I'm just a bulky girl, Gwendolyn Christie kinda tall and not Cate Blanchett tall) but looking back at photos now, you can see ribs piercing through loose clothing and like you know the ball jointed doll looking arms. I tried going to therapists and getting help, but at the time recovery literature was so puritanical: never think about your body or what you eat or your weight or mess up again or you have failed.
I thought I was doing well. I had strict rules. But they were just rituals around my abuse of my body. I ate once a day, at night, all my food for the day. Because after I started eating, I would always be hungry. The reality is I hadn't not been hungry since I was a young child and only learned to use food as a control like it was used for me.
About two years ago, things really started to slip. I had gained a lot of weight in recovery from the inability to observe my intake and partners encouraging me to overeat when I had no understanding of how much I was eating. I needed a surgical procedure I had to lose a small amount of weight for. I started cutting calories down and instantly I didn't fall off the wagon, the wagon crumpled. It couldn't hold itself up. I ended up losing almost half my body mass in 11 months.
I was doing hard labor on our home. I was eating about half as much as people were given in concentration camps. I could *feel* my organs failing. Worst of all my wife was falling apart. But I didn't care. I needed it. The haze, the control, I thought it helped my CPTSD. It didn't obviously, but you never can see that from the bottom of the hole.
I wish I could say I stopped because I was dying, because I had heart palpitations, because I couldn't do anything for 10 minutes without a 15 minute breather, because my wife was suffering, or because I didn't go a single second of any day without hating myself and obsessing over that hatred. But no. The speed at which my hair was falling out increased and I lost two cup sizes in the course of a week. My fucking vanity got me to listen to help.
What actually saved me though was my dietician. They also were queer, they looked like me, made the same kind of jokes, was the same kind of nature loving dork, and they had also survived this. After months of telling them I was fine every week while I slowly circled the drain, I finally asked them why they decided to recover. I had been embarrassed by every reason I had come up with. In the end their's were almost the same. I felt seen. I didn't feel alone anymore. It was huge.
They practiced harm reduction. They didn't throw me in a hospital to sink or swim. They walked me through building good habits for my own reasons, boosting me up. Talking me through as I got violently ill with every increase. That saved me and it built a much stronger meathod than what I had found before in hospitals ever could. I don't have rules, I have reasons, and that is huge.
Eating disorders are hard. You can't go cold turkey. Food and hunger are there for us every single day. But having someone compassionate by my side, who cared about similar things in the world, who listened to the most messed up things I ever had to say and stuck with me anyway, that's what got me there in the end. Just like Cait.
In 10 minutes, it'll be six months of me finally eating normally for the first time in my life. I'm incredibly grateful and happy to keep going.
I know I'm a month late here, but I am SO proud of you. I can't say much, really. You've probably heard all of it before, so I'll keep it simple. As someone who has been there: it is hard, but it is so, so worth it. To take that weight off our loved ones shoulders, to be able to stand up without passing out, to stop seeing hair falling out in the shower, to just feel that worry slowly start to dissipate as time goes on and you build new habits.
It is hard but it is worth it in SO many ways, my favorite way was seeing the way my friends stopped tiptoeing around the topic of food around me. It used to be a constant struggle, I could always feel the invisible wall in the way of us just talking about going to lunch, I felt guilty throwing away pastries and things they'd made me. It was so freeing to realize I wasn't bound by these stupid rules I'd made in my head and to finally realize how much love I was being shown in so many ways.
Please don't beat yourself up over any "failures" on your path. It is in many ways an addiction, just as much as any other. The important part is that we get back up and we keep going, for our loved ones, and eventually, for ourselves. Because we deserve it.
You are loved!!
i am also late but i am also very proud of you, and i really think your dietician absolutely was right, that’s how we need to help people with EDs not hospitals and constant surveillance like suicide watch patients, it’s degrading and doesn’t help with any healing process. truly you’re come so so far, bless you.
hey, thank you for sharing this. seriously. I'm currently in the process of getting a dietician for the same problem. it's nice to here from another gay person who went thru the same thing and came out the other side 💕
My god, how did your friend end up addicted to opiates at 12? I started at 18 and the amount of damage and trauma it caused me makes me feel like I'm 80 years old. All good if you don't feel like getting into it though, ik these things can be hard to talk about.
@@himesilva Trauma from her mom's boyfriend that is unwise to mention in front of The Algorithm, if you catch my drift. She never told me where she got the first few bottles of oxy. The details didn't seem as important as the present any time circumstances brought it up. Lots of marginalized kids are exposed to drugs way too young though, unfortunately. I'm a social worker now and have met quite a few kids that started using in middle school to cope with family trauma.
my guy, you where an addict who not only got off the sauce, but is able to educate 650K people about addiction, metal health, and how you relate to an addict in a game. For that I'm proud of you!!! (I don't judge you for smokeing pot/vapeing bc I do the same thing)
This video really hits close to home. I was an addict myself and while the details are best left in the past it wasn't until I met a good friend that I managed to go sober. They're missing an eye and an arm, half their face is deformed and they've been abandoned by their family. And at one point they had me and nobody else, and I realized life was kicking my ass and telling me to take responsibility and stop evading life with drugs because now if I screwed up I was screwing up someone else who really needed the support.
I accidentally ended up getting them a huge amount of friends, they're never alone anymore. And according to someone who knew them before I did "they're suddenly happy all the time and it's because of me".
Some people decide to go sober for a lot of reasons but to me that decision never came, I just happened to be forced to stop being the sad, terrified person I was and I couldn't be happier about it. They say I saved their life but no, it was the other way around.
What an amazing story ❤ it’s nice to know humanity still exists.
That is so fricking wholesome and pure I feel like I'm gonna puke. :'3.
Dude the message at the end the one about your personal experience I just wanna say thank you man. I really felt that. Thank you.
As someone currently struggling to become sober, I appreciate this video very much. My journey hasn’t been easy but I’m fighting to reach the end of the tunnel. I’ll admit, I never really paid much attention to Cate, and you’ve made me wish I had. Thank you for your final message, it means more to me than you can imagine.
Keep up the good fight, you can absolutely do it. Just starting the road to sobriety is an incredibly tough and brave thing to do, and you should be so proud of that. I may be a random yt commenter, but I really wish you the best in the recovery process
I believe in you
You're strong, I have not struggled with any addiction, so I don't know what you're going through, but I believe you can make it
You got this brother
Every day is a victory. Eventually, even if you stumble you have more victories than losses. Keep on livin man, you deserve it.
Hey my man. You dropped this 👑. Wear it proud, because you earn it every day. We dont know eachother, but we are here for you. We love you.
I adore Cait and something they absolutely breaks my heart is that you can catch her taking psycho.
You can’t confront her about it but I found on accident that when idle she has an animation for giving herself a dose of psycho.
Hearing Cait’s story was extremely depressing and if she ever did suicide, I think I would feel even more bad for her. I think she deserves a family and everything really. I really liked the video, I’m not an addict tho.
Nice profile pic
@@HK_541 thank you
Yeah it really sucks when people do suicide
did suicide
If you ever meet a junkie in real life, you'd know they deserve everything that happens to them. They are sick people, so sick that you try to help 50 times, and they always backstab you no matter, always lie, always make promises, always steal from you, and always try to blame you for not "being there for them."
Junkies are some of the absolute worst of humanity
I never expected a video about a Fallout companion to make me consider things about my life and make me cry.
I can fully get in to the mindset of Cait since im both a former addict and suffer from PTSD and when i play any fallout game i dont use the drugs and always end up only using her after i get her as a partner and i always get her clean
That sounds like an actually effective form of therapy imo
Cait was routinely my go-to companion. I always felt motivated to help her, regardless of the morality of my play through.
Cai'ts quest hit super hard for a friend i had as a roomie. He used to date a girl who fell to meth addiction and eventually passed away a little after they broke up. He tried to help her for years and she straight up rejected it, which is what caused their break up.
I spent most of my 20s being an addict and being addicted to Mary Jane and alcohol. I often experiment with other drugs just to feel something. I loved drugs, but something about you openly discussing Cait's character made me realise that I was escaping my life. I wasn't happy and I had a revolving door of men. I mean I was also heavily into sex. It didn't help that I had one episode where I drank myself to nearly start a fight and had no where to go that I received help. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at 26. I was pregnant at 28 with my fwb's child that it made me sober and I stopped using drugs after finding out. I was 8 weeks pregnant. It wasn't easy but it was an active decision I made everyday to not fall further. I aborted it and it was the biggest regret I had and I fell into depression and grief. I had to make active changes to my life and actively make the decision to not drink or smoke. I can't say I'm clear of it. I still use when it's there. If something is out of touch it was easier to deal with that.
You coming out as an ex-addict and now sober at the end got me crying. I didn’t see that coming. But who else would know this kind of struggle.
Maybe some day I’ll face mine.
Congrats man. You are awesome. I’ll work there some day too. Promise.
Then start little by little do him right by at least putting a little effort here and there trust it will stack up over time and make sure to track it best of luck
I hope you're doing well. My girlfriend is a recovering opiate addict. We've been through 8 years of back and forth. From wonderful moments to absolute hell on earth. But I still love her and am always there for her. She's been sober for 3 years now and is genuinely doing better than ever. I know it's hard to picture life being better when these things are tricking you into thinking you couldn't be happier, but it does get so much better.
It's a decision you have to make yourself and fully commit to. But it's a decision that you absolutely can make, and absolutely can be better off for. There's no advice I can give besides finding the right people to support you, even if that means a clinic, and doing whatever it takes to get away from the people who keep you connected to that world. They say "people, places, and things" for a good reason.
Anyway, I just want you know that I hope you're ok. You're a human who deserves to live better and be happy. I genuinely hope that you get that for yourself.
You will, and you’ll win this battle because you obviously want to beat your addiction. You’ll do *yourself* right, I know it.
Thank you for sharing Leon such a good video and you getting personal about your past really adds to it and makes it real because it’s real addiction is everywhere unfortunately and it takes many shapes and sizes I pray for anyone reading this and they’re an addict but just know your never alone and it’s never to late to become clean again ❤
I remember when I played the game that I always didn't care much for my companions enough to ever reach idolization, but Cait just struck me different. She feels so much more like a person. I remember just thinking, "Oh I am going to help her with this before I finish the game."
3 years clean. I loved how you took the time to talk about this story even if it is just in a video game. Good work my guy
I originally went with Cait because I knew the voice actor. After trying other followers though, I quickly realized she had a bit more substance, no pun intended
Tell the voice actor they did great
Yes, my first full complete play-up decided to FO4 alchemy that silly French bot to synth as my settlement main but her back story and base activity consisted of her sitting and watching my power suits and declaring an odd AI love for me. This time, I went with Cait and she gave the play up real substance.........and got damn does that one have interaction conversations that makes me feel good, especially when investing into her story, curing the addiction while I make my guy a drug induced, not family loss, Frank Castle of the wasted lands that glow. Cait is OP for her flawed human nature . Also my settlement hates me for Momma D dropping out sadly cuz I defaulted into her pushedman before I realized I killed my only client, should have taken her to 95. Also you monster dropping a tall queen with a pistol!? I clap all the cheeks but this guy is actually the Real Punisher of the wasteland. Great essay and voice talents.
I'm just how invested I was after watching the full video and your interest in the depiction of Cait. I think that years of interest doing this is worth it. The fact that you made you research with DSM-5 and analyse her dialogues/story and behavior is astonishing.
I'm curious and you can refuse my questions. Did you got out by yourself with your addiction, or did you reached for someone? How many tries did you need for getting out of this addiction?
To be honest I wasn't interest in the topic as non addict, but I think this kinda helps me to understand more about this topic.
I had a situation long time ago with someone with drug addiction. We used to be classmate and he sudden called me after years. I was confused why he called me. We weren't friends, maybe relatives. I picked up the phone call and we meet up. At that time I was on job hunting and did my best to earn money in part-time jobs. We shared a couple of beers, reminiscing about our school days and talked about our current situation. It's been years that I've seen him and I could see he wasn't mentally/physically fine. He was taller than me, his face seemed tired, he looked unhealthy skinny and generally looked clueless. I could guess he was addicted to something, but he told me right out of the gate that he's a drug dealer. I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded about this topic and we hang out couple more times. Weeks passed and he hired me as a driver, since I was the only person had a legal license.
I needed money, was still job hunting and it wouldn't hurt me earning more money. He did try to give me some drugs as payment but I refused since I wasn't interest.
Some rides were nervewrecking for him since he felt like he was being followed. Other times he said he appreciate to have a healthy friend to talk about. I've met a lot of people, risky people, I slowly realised that it was stupid of me to hang out with him and his "friends".
So after months of being the driver I got accepted in my dreamjob and I stopped contacting, saying I had to focus on my career.
Half a year has passed and he ended up in the hospital because he almost died of overdose. I received a phone call if I got time and I decided to visit him. He was relieved and glad that I came since I was the only person, who visited him. Later he explained me that he was paranoid and he was in a very bad situation that only drugs might helped him. Me, a sober just told him I can't understand his thought process and advise him to get professional help. I'm not a doctor and only can listen to his problems. We talked for days at his time in the hospital. Eventually he went to get professional help in a clinic/rehab.
We broke contact. It was the last time I've heard from him. I did try to visit him, his parents said he going for 3 months of rehabilitation.
Sorry for my english and long text I felt like this should get out of my chest, I was mainly a bystander and barely could do anything since I took a safe distance not to get into deeper troubles. The only I thing could do was being there and in the end I can only hope he's doing better.
At the end of the day, don't blame yourself for anything he went through, sometimes addicts just need a shoulder to cry on for comfort, and you did a phenomenal job at that, my friend.
You undoubtably made his life better.
His paranoia could be a common side effect of stimulant usage (amphetamine/cocaine), however stimulants don't usually cause a life-threatening overdose.
I tried 3 or 4 times to quit on my own, eventually my family had an intervention and I "sobered up" got a job and made this channel.
Not every addict is the same, he could be suffering from a different/ more severe mental illness than PTSD.
All addiction is caused by suffering.
@@LeonTalksALot it's stuck in my mind a long time. I knew his problems was related to his hometown. I was thinking the best option if he would cut ties with certain people and places and go for a fresh start. Easier said than done.
Luckily I don't have many friends/family with addictions but there were some moments I should trust my gut feeling and help them out if needed. I'll be sure be more sympathetic with it.
And thanks.
I wish the best to all undergoing an addiction. Hope you get better. Know that there's people out there that care, there's help. It's not impossible to be clean even if it feels that way.
Hey, I know it sounds weird but you talk alot like I do. I have a friend with depression and I talk to them in the same way you do. Wanna be friends?
Video is one year old but the outro of you talking really sat well with me so here is my part after getting out of addiction of hard drugs. You only got this chance, just imagine the Ups and Downs you went through, the very things that have gotten you into your addiction. You did it. You passed the worst parts, alife and still being yourself and all you are doing is taking the serenity, knowledge and strenght gained by those hard times and turning them & twisting them into something that simply and eloquently put just isnt feasable for you. So dont rob yourself of your future by rolling that joint or taking that hit. Take a Middle Finger to the drugs that robbed you of your potential and go take it. Its yours, it belongs to you and you only and there is no better day than today to start with taking your life back. The return of investment is non-measurable, i want you guys to make that discovery for yourselves.
From one person who's struggled growing up to another, I want to salute your courage to talk about your past publically on a video for everyone to see, stay strong
The story of this character and your story made me realise possible reasons why I was an addict in the past, PTSD and so on. Thank you brother.
Hope you're doing better man, I believe in ya
I meet my best friend at 16 and he was 24. I meet him during his first month of sobriety. I ended up moving into his recovery home with him and his roommates when i turmed 18. I meet many people and learned a lot about addiction. I am happy to say he is 16 Years sober and going on strong. He just recently gave up smoking as well. There is hope out there for everyone.
Thank you for this video. I'm currently addicted to opioids, so I'd hope to come back and watch this again if/when I'm sober.
didnt know i needed this video, ive been trying to kick an addiction for a few years (getting closer and closer every day) and this just solidifies how important it is that i get clean. thank you. and to everyone else trying (and those struggling), we'll all get there eventually
If it's opiates, just Do it. It's hard but it will be over with before you know. If you're on fast acting opiates like heroin, hydrocodone etc withdrawal will be 7 days day 1-4 the worst. Long acting like fentanyl, morphine, methadone etc withdrawal can last up to 30 days no relief. But it plateues after a week. Won't be as intense as short acting, but will last alot longer. Dope sick is 90% trying to not panic and have anxiety, it makes it all worse. Any med that lowers blood pressure will help with alot of symptoms. DONT SMOKE WEED DURING WITHDRAWAL. It will mentally help for about 20 mins until your heart rate goes up and makes you feel worse.
i hope your recovery is going well! cute pfp btw
As soon as I saw the thumbnail I verbally yelled out "CAIT!" Even though I haven't thought about her in like actual years. A wonderfully built character.
the work put into this video man its insane, havent seen such a touching and personal video in a while
I'm coming from your video on Graham. Your talent to make videos about games along with deep introspection is great. I love how you're also open about your own struggles man, this video hits close. Love you, keep making vids.
Getting clean and staying clean are two very different things. What helped me with the latter was going to school, moving to a new town, and making new friends. Basically slowly building up a different world for myself that had new goals and reasons to keep going.
this came up on my recommended and legit had me tearing up at the end. excited to see more of your videos, man. glad you started on the right path and extending a hand to others like that by sharing your own story was very real of you.
I was a addict. I am a addict. This is so accurate, her story and everything makes me cry. I'm happy you stop drinking.
Man this video just makes me miss MittenSquad that much more, he lost his battle with addiction and was one of my favorite fallout content creators.
As a former addict, hearing about Cait's story has been really moving, as you've said through out the video, it's very a very accurate depiction of why and how people are addicted, and I could relate a lot with what Cait said. My addiction started because of depression, so alcohol and drugs became the only way to ward off my suicial thoughts. Later in life I had managed to battle against my depression and I was able to live and function normally, but I keept using drugs and drinking, I didn't understand at first why I didn't just stop and go sober, but eventually after I ended up in a hospital bed from an overdose, I promised myself to become sober. And I managed to stay sober, but the reason why I needed something as severe as an overdose to convince me that quitting was a good idea is because I was super freightened that if I went sober that my depression would take control again, even if I knew the drugs and alcohol was harming me, it didn't compare to the pain the depression caused and the fear it inflicted. Luckly my fears were unfounded, I've been sober for 3 months and I'm the happiest I have been in years.
I cried at the end of this video because I found myself relating so much, and scrolling through the comments I saw yours and found myself relating further. I did not OD at any point, but after struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for the better part of my teens, and getting into debt repeatedly because of my addictions, I never stayed far away from home and my mother which I now know is the best thing I ever did to myself because it is thanks to my mother's support (emotional and financial) and belief in me that I was able to say "enough is enough". I cannot say I am deep into the jouney that is soberiety, but after 3 days I intend to keep it that way. The stabbing feeling described in the video never depicted my urges so clearly, it is so hard but I know it's for my own good and for my surroundings.
Remember this joy if it gets bad again. Remember that it was bad before but it's better now. Things always change; that's what keeps me going through ups and downs and it always gets better if you just keep moving. Wake up in the morning when it's hard. Go to bed when you don't want a good day to end. Let things pass and welcome the happiness back in every chance you get. I see you, and you are going to do great.
Can I ask you what drug you were addicted to?
Congrats on 3 months❤
I was an alcoholic at one point, and the ending of the video really stuck with me, my partner helped me get clean bc he was worried about me when I didn’t give less of a shit about myself or if I lived, died, what I did; he protected me from that and helped me out.
As a recovered addict the speech at the end of your own struggles i felt that, this also pulled my heart like this, for me it took overdosing to come clean but im 5 years sober off a whole cocktail of pills and alcohol but theres always hope you can always fight that voice no matter how difficult it seems
This video was an unexpected gem, The story of Cait struggling her whole life goes straight to your heart. Your relation to the story is appreciated thank you for being honest that you aren't completely sober and still encouraging others .
Your ending monologue about addiction hit home for me also..
I was heavily addicted to cocaine for years, got myself clean and turned things around.. only to discover six months ago I had “cured” my glaring obvious issue - however I did nothing to repair what was below the surface fuelling my need to abuse substances in the first place.
And so, six months ago, I began routinely using meth. It’s a lot harder to quit, I have found.
I’m hoping I find the strength within myself to start 2023 fresh and not high. This is the goal I’ve set and your beautiful words inspired me and reaffirmed I, too, am capable of overcoming my adversities.
Thank you.
Good luck...
@@187onaPigeon the way you worded that makes me wonder if you have any faith in that person. It takes a person a lot of courage to admit when they have a problem. I should know, I'm currently battling a alcohol addiction, it hasn't been easy but I'm slowly decreasing my alcohol intake so I don't get violent withdrawals that come with quitting cold turkey.
hope you're doing better g.
Youre just my type
@@EA_SP0RTCENTER That is gay.
This was a great video and definitely made me want to pick up Fallout 4 again. I was addicted to fentanyl for about 7 months and it was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. It made everything harder and I was disconnected with my life. Psycho seems to be close to opioids irl and it really isn't fun to be addicted. It was fun when it started, but relying on a substance to get through the day is rough. You get sick when you don't have it or aren't able to use. It makes you feel shame and puts you in a standoffish position with your friends and family and there doesn't seem to be a way out when you can't quit on your own. Much like Cait, I had to get a special treatment (suboxone) to quit the fentanyl and I'm proud to say that I've been off of fentanyl for 1 year and 5 months and completely off any opioid (suboxone) for a year with no relapse. It took a lot to get help, but I'm glad I did. I didn't have to kill a bunch of gunners to get my treatment, but I did have to face my demons and realize I needed help. I'm not completely sober, but I am off of drugs and it does feel good. It also helps to have a fantastic support network around me and as much as it seemed like I couldn't get out of my addiction when I was in it, I could never see myself going back to that place. Thanks for sharing your story as well and to any addict our there, there is a way out, and there is no tried and true way to get sober, but it is possible.
Knowing nothing about fentanyl, How can people even do fentanyl without dying if it can kill EMTs through gloves? Do you have to use like literally one molecule how does that work? Good to hear you made it through that tho sounds terrible :(
I never forgot Cait as an Character she had such an big impact on me back then she will always be my favorite Character in FO4
dawg this video led me down a rabbit hole of your videos thank you- your content is very random but very good 🎉
I like this video so far (25:00), as someone who has experience with addiction from those around me and myself.
but, addicts can put on makeup, addicts can (and often do) get 8 hours of sleep. Many (most) addicts are very normal people who you would never be able to tell are dependant on drugs.
the addicts I've loved and known, and myself, we aren't different than other people.
we have jobs, go to work or college, have partners, some of us have kids. we look and act normal. we live normal lives- we are normal.
we don't usually look like Addict Cait.
I just needed to say that. the stigma/belief of addicts looking like that adds to the way people see/treat addicts like monsters.
in my experience, the addicts that act like apathetic monsters are the addicts that were monsters before they ever touched a drug. I truly believe drugs do not make people violent thieves or whatever. I've known a lot of addicts and majority were functional people who worked hard and were kind. they just also used substances or other activities to cope.
keep in mind, addiction is not just for drugs. people can be addicted to damn near anything that gives you dopamine. shopping, gambling, sex, exercising, video games, *the INTERNET* (many of us are addicted to this. Millions of us.)
yet, the first thing people think of are the stereotypical stick-thin, pale, skeletal looking druggies with pock marks on their face, sunken eyes, greasy hair, and a needle in their arm. it's so sad to me because anybody can be addicted to something and for most, no one would ever guess they are addicted/dependant.
and when they tell someone they trust, they often lose that relationship due to the stigma and judgement and social bias against anyone that uses drugs- but that bias towards addiction *never* extends to "acceptable" addictions like to caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, video games, sex, *the internet,* etc.
most people are not the stereotype- and those that are that stereotype genuinely deserve help, too, not to be spit on while they sit on the sidewalk or shunned and abused and told to go overdose because they're a waste of oxygen. how ironic and ignorant it is for the person using drugs to cope with trauma to be further traumatized by abuse from people judging them for using drugs.
the best person I've ever met shot drugs. she died from shooting drugs. she was the closest thing to an angel I've ever believed in. she worked hard, was compassionate and kind, unbelievably forgiving, and just as loving.
she was amazing.
addictions do not make us who we are, we are much more than addicts. We are people. Assumptions and negative stigmas and biases hurt us. Other humans treat us poorly because they don't understand.
I don't think "addict cait" is an accurate representation of the physical effects of drugs (especially not all drugs in general) for most users.
I think that skin is the embodiment of societies stereotypical junkie, and "vanilla cait" is really extremely accurate representation- because addicts often look just like you, your mother, your neighbor, the churches pastor, your cousin, your sister, the strangers on the street... they look like normal people that you pass walking down a crowded sidewalk. they're just... people. every one is different, every person is unique.
Okay, but I'm going to pushback on this general notion that, say, "porn addiction" is the same as "heroin addiction." It's not. I'm not saying people can't get hooked, in a way, to basically anything. They can, I get that. But there is a difference when you have a chemical fucking you up. A gambling addict feels weird when not gambling, but a heroin addict goes through extreme physical pain during withdraws. They not only need to correct their behavior, but also to overcome physical symptoms that a shopping addict isn't going to face. I don't like that we use the same word for these two things. I also don't understand why you think addictions to other things, including alcohol, face no stigma--that's really strange. It ironically makes you look like the person dismissing the experiences of those who have struggled with those things, because I've absolutely seen them ruin lives and earn them judgment.
Anyway, this leads to the point that most people, when severely addicted to drugs or alcohol for an extended period of time, do undergo physical changes. That stereotype exists for a reason. It may not ALWAYS apply, certainly not to those recently addicted or who maybe use a variety of different drugs at different times, but someone who does heroin or cocaine or meth or LSD on a daily basis, for years, is almost certainly going to show it outwardly. Hell man, people can tell when you're sick just from how you look different--you don't think burning up inside from powerful drugs will cause a change? My one ex was a recovered heroin addict; she was in her 20's back when we were dating, but her hands looked like the hands of a 65-year-old, all wrinkled, and her blood vessels were clearly visible. She was very embarassed by them. And she didn't even shoot up--she rolled it into joints and smoked it, so you'd think it'd be less severe.
Furthermore, keep in mind that the mod in question is ALSO supposed to reflect her career; she's a cage fighter, fights to the freaking death--the scars and bruises should be there regardless of the drug use. AND, she lived with raiders; she probably didn't sleep much nor well, didn't eat well, never got to relax or destress for fear of getting a knife in the back.
Very inspiring. I am still an opioid addict and I wonder how I will get out of this. At least I am not on the hard opioids like heroin or oxy, I guess, but I need it to function, and honestly, it's hard for me to imagine a life without it right now.
@@Barneto you're not alone.
I have wondered the same.
it may not seem possible from where you're standing, but when you get tired of the chains, you will find a way to remove them.
I'm proud of you!
(kratom might be able to help if thats not the opiod you're stuck on)
@aislynj1303 kratom is the opioid I am addicted to lol. I've had my h, oxy and morphine phases but funnily enough never got addicted to those probably because they are too expensive. I try to control my urges to spend all of my money on that shit to sit there nodding all day and instead just swallow the way less expensive green powder and be a functioning member of society. It's legal, so it can't be bad :D
(seriously some people do seem to think this unironically which is wrong but if you are on opioids that are even more powerful its definitely better than that)
I relate to your comment ty.
To anyone who happens to watch this video and read this comment, I'm proud of you for kicking your addiction or for deciding enough is enough and starting that journey.
Not today friend, maybe another day
@@Freshmaker420last month i said this, today im in the middle of it, but the light at the end of the tunnel is nice :) i think there’s truth to what people are saying here
thanks man i didnt even know i had a addiction, wow I'm so cool I'm improving by doing nothing.
I nearly drank myself too death. Woke up one day and saw what i was doing. Ruining my girlfriends view of me and what love should be (i ignored her alot, which i make up for everyday), my mom wondering if im dead when i vanish for days at a time, my dad giving up on me, stopped pushing me like he use too. Saw my brother following in the same footsteps as me. I am now 7 months sober, lost 50 pounds and started working out and eating right. Now, im rebuilding the love and respect my family and friends had for me before i destroyed it while destroying myself. I didnt wanna die, i just didnt care if i did, i only felt like i was ok while drunk. I know booze isnt as bad as most things, but the point is we are all strong enough to beat anything together ❤ you just gotta open up and accept the help and love from others. I wish you all the best.
@@brandoncassibo6527 congratulations on your accomplishment, I'm proud of you. Its tough when you come to the realization that you need to change deciding to take that step takes alot of courage. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm 5 years sober and learning to love myself more each day
Homie. My man. My dude. My fellow Bussy enjoyer. I'm two videos in, and 39:16 is when you permanently won me over. Incredible analysis, great humor, heartfelt story. This is an amazing video, you're a man with an incredible amount of potential (in all capacities), and I only wish you the best in your future endeavors (even if they aren't TH-cam, life's weird!). I, for one, will be delighted to see whatever video you come out with next.
But most importantly, I'm legally required to subscribe to a fellow Alpha Male Gamer Bussy Enthusiast 🙏
Based 🗿
“My fellow Bussy enjoyer”
Uhh, part of me doesn’t think there’s context
@@tacticallemon7518 36:08 wrong
Thanks for adding your story at the end, proud of you for overcoming the alcoholism.
i was addicted to pills a few months ago and i couldnt stop popping them. i started to feel like shit constantly and vomitted occasionally and thats when i really started to realize i should stop. i still smoke weed but thats far better than what i was doing and even then i smoke only at night time. cait and this video helped me understand how hard addiction really is
I'm so proud of you, you are very strong, and I hope you're doing well 🙏🙏🙏
Ok, so you switched from one illegal narcotic substance to another. Get off that mariguana shit, for your own good.
Hey man. im so proud of you. I might not know you, but I love you man. keep yourself safe. make us all proud, pick up that life of yours and build something with it. youve already proved how strong you can be, go on and prove it again. I hope you succeed in your future. Have a great recovery
I'm glad you stopped before withdrawal got bad. Once you get to that point it's not easy to get off. I've been a heroin addict for almost 20 years now. I hate it. I only use to not be sick. I've died 11 times. I carry narcan inhaler and nose spray on me 24/7 never know when you'll get a bad fentanyl cut. Eventually you won't be using to get high, it turns into pure terror of being dope sick.
@@ScootsMcPootAll the ABC after school comments get all these likes. And prolly the realest comment I read was this one. 😮 These ppl have NO clue. They just want to feel like they can relate..Opiates are a different universe from alcohol etc. Been clean for over 15 years. Never relapsed. Not joking when I say getting past the detox sickness was what I imagine hell to be like..My prayers for you ❤ Be careful boss. When you reach that point of needing it to be or function normal. It's a very tough road 😢😢 You ever try sebox or methadone? Easier to step down the latter bit by bit as opposed to just cold turkey? I'm telling you. It IS possible ❤
Caits story and mannerisms were written by either someone who has an addiction or very familiar with it. Very well written. Some games do a horrible job but fo did it quite well even I. Regards to the vault w addicts on it.
the ending almost made me cry. Cait reminds me a lot of my mom. she died less than a week ago. She was an addict and wasn't happy with her life, I knew. I just wish she could have gotten help. I miss her. so much.
i’m so sorry for your loss :( wishing you and your family the best in your time of mourning
RIP, Things get better
I’m so sorry. That’s awful.
Im so sorry for your loss
Hey dorceless, I am sorry about your loss. I sincerely hope you and your family are able to cope with this loss in a healthy manner.
That ending was beautiful, man. It's exactly what I love so much about art, and especially video games- it's like connecting with a real person, because we are connecting with people through the medium. Even though I've since found my calling elsewhere, i originally wanted to develop games just so I could make those exact same kind of connections with people.
It was a great video from the start, but that ending made it a perfect one in my book. Thank you for that.
Just revisited this video. Hits a lot of places now that it didn't then. Thanks for making such a well thought out, and vulnerable piece of media. ❤️
Your end monologue is the most genuine emotion I’ve ever seen on the internet. I don’t think anything has ever made me feel the way you just did. Thank you sir. Congrats on beating your addiction 🫡
i remember the whole Kate saga too, and tho i was sober at the time i played, her shame and reluctance to talk about her addiction honestly was the part that really resonated with me the most.
as someone w/over 12yrs, the most unrealistic part of it wasn’t the existence of a “spin-dry machine” but how this machine seemingly fixed her physically & mentally as well.
they say “you can take away the alcohol, but you’re still left with the ic(k)” meaning it’s not only the physical withdrawals but the mental withdrawal pains that Kate must address if she wants long term sobriety. she’s gotta replace her addiction with something; be it exercise, spirituality or some combo of the two, else she’ll most likely relapse once she forgets how bad it used to be.
The Life is Strange music creeping in was a really nice touch.
As a fellow recovering alcoholic much respect man, for me it was Bojack Horseman and watching his downward spiral that got me to pull out of the tail spin.
I’m a major addict. Like cait i cant go more than a few hrs without my fix. I use it all day from when i get up to when i go to bed. It makes me feel ok. Helps me do my job and start the day. Then gives me relief afterwards until I close my eyes.
I really enjoyed this video. I relate to Cait a lot. But unlike her, my life has not been terrible. I have no good reason to be doing this. Other than being weak mentally. Giving in to the easy choice.
But i would like to give sobriety a chance. Your honest words in the outro really spoke to me. I’m going to take this more seriously. Thank you. 🙏🏼