I'd like to see an episode about the "Little Green Men of Kelly" because watching Simon lose his mind about aliens attacking a farm house in the 50's would be amazing.
Me in a Spanish class in Costa Rica, when the teacher says that no one can figure out how the Nasca lines were made without an overhead view: "Geometry. You make a small diagram, use math to scale up the dimensions, and that tells you where you need to make each turn." Simon, 7 years later: "How could they build the Nasca lines without an overhead view? I don't know. Like scale diagrams?" Simon and I. Same page
Aha! But… BUT, how would they have known about that spider that you need a microscope to see that teeny tiny body part sticking out that they depicted?? (I think it was some kind of appendage? I don’t remember)
I went down a rabbit hole of pre-Columbian engineering once, and discovered Peruvians were crazy amazing about building on cliffs, and terrace farming. To do all this accurately they used quite a bit of primitive transits, and sextants. Especially they built a lot of irrigation canals and tunnels because of the place that they lived. So with those tools they could just as easily created the Nazca Lines. Sorry alienophiles!
It’s crazy how many people choose to believe in secret alien visits. Rather than, the indigenous people of the Americas were just as smart as everyone else, but just didn’t have the common access to the technologies that spread amongst the people from China to Algeria.
Most of these kinda things boil down to the same thing "those ancient people were dumb, we are way smarter! No way they could do it, we only just worked out this long complicated method and there's definitely no other way!"
Cool stuff! Literally every time humans invent something, we find a way to use it for art, assign it a religious significance, or often both at once. A culture whose cutting-edge technology is the ability to plan out and execute canal systems would totally do the Nasca Lines. The only mystery is if it was to make art for the gods, with the time and effort maybe being seen as a sacrifice, or if it was, like, a hobby group of retired canal diggers who also really liked birds.
@@generatoralignmentdevalue Oh, I so want it to be retired canal builders who wanted to make art. It was a retired mechanical engineer who started the art car movement, wasn't it?
We didn’t go by Peru during Pre-Columbian times. We went by Tribe names like the Quechua people (that’s me), the Aymara’s, Inka etc. We are all over what is now Ecuador, Bolivia, Chile, and Colombia cuz that was all under Inca Rule so you’d also be calling those people Peruvian too and they aren’t.
I used to work in a retail electronics department, and people used to set the alarm clocks (yes, I am old) to go off at random times, including after closing so that as we were trying to leave we would would hear them going off, and have to decide to just leave them, or turn them off. Maybe that's what aliens did 2500 years ago - scraped these lines in the dirt after travelling trillions of kilometres in order to complete a prank they would never see come to fruition, but are somehow satisfied in that they did it anyway.
Simon: we have the company CAT. It's actually short for caterpillar. I remember, growing up, my grandpa always called his bulldozer the "Caterpillar". Since he had several different farm implements, he referred to each of his tractors and his dozer by their maker. He had the "Little Case", the "Big Case", the "John Deere" and the "Caterpillar". Love all your channels! Big fan from Oklahoma!
That’s not what he meant, he’s just referring to the idiomatic nature of calling it a “Cat” (which we do in Canada as well, but UK and Canadian English are the same thing). Where Americans almost entirely refer to it like you said by the company name.
Wisconsin must be tweeking or something... 80% of the time even if it's a boom arm lift made by CAT someone around here would call it a Bobcat because those two make the best skidsters around... funny enough I'm half a hour away from dealerships for both
Some years back, a teacher and her students demonstrated how the lines could have been made just using a scale drawing and the students walking the image into the ground. Very impressive. Awesome video, as always!
I remember seeing a (fiction)book from the 70s in a school library years ago that was written from the perspective of a future archeologist about our modern society and among the things I remember is that bathrooms were seen as worship spaces and toilets were altars with the seats as ceremonial necklaces and that complex highway interchanges were compared to the Nazca lines
That book was after my time, but I did have an art education professor who used to introduce the idea of post-modernism (in a nutshell, all things are relative to time and place).
An episode on the Bosnian Pyramids of the Sun and Moon would be a fun one. Pyramids, aliens, alternate origins of humanity, mystical healing springs, only for it to turn out to be a hill. Like, not even a pyramid or a burial mound, literally just a hill. Simon's reaction to that reveal would be hysterical. Also, the whole "mountains aren't real, they're actually trees cut down by a race of prehistoric giants" conspiracy is nothing short of comedy gold.
When I was a kid living in the midwest, after a new snow, I would put on my boots and go to a large park. I would create giant chicken-like foot prints where each of the front 3 claws were 6 foot prints, 2-wide, 3 long. Same with the single back claw. The base of the foot was larger in the front and smaller in the back. I was very athletic as a kid and I could do a 2 step leap over and ahead of the foot print in a way that didn't leave much evidence of me doing so. I would spend 30 minutes or so and when I was done, there tracks of a giant chicken walking across the field. It was best if there was a light snow going on, then the effect was perfect. I think I was like 11 when I started doing this, it got more elaborate as I grew up.
Loving the new upload schedule from someone in the United States west coast. I end my Friday work day with BB, Casual Criminalist, and Decoding. Legendary
I don’t know why it’s that inconceivable that ancient humans can achieve this. Waaaay back in the day (pre internet) we used the graph method to enlarge images. Laborious and time consuming work that required a tiny bit of mathematics, but it worked 👍
For most of ancient history humans didn’t achieve anything until European civilizations appeared. 99% of scientific discoveries happened in a very short span of time relatively recently. It’s like most humans were primitive and were content eating raw meat or something 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
@@tubensalat1453 If you just explain things by saying "Aliens made it" or "God made it" then it is easier but that is ignoring a few things. Like how the aliens got there, why they visited one of the most desolated places on earth instead of somewhere more populated and why they thought painting in dirt was worth the effort... There is a planet in Proxima Century that has the potential for life 6 lightyears away, now assuming that the planet have evolved intelligent life with basic spacefaring they could have visited earth a couple of times but that does not explain why they built their spaceport by drawing in the dirt. That explanation is way more complicated then a third method: a stick with a string tied to it, which you can use to create these things as well. I think it is more which sounds more amazing, not easy. "Who" is always easy to guess but you also need to explain "why" and "how". Who: The people of Nazka, Why: to impress the Gods, how: with strings and sticks. That is easy.
Reminds me of the time an idiot friend was talking about crystal skulls and how did they make them so round and smooth?! Must be aliens! Or just.... you polish for ages. I could do it now, it's not hard, just takes a while. Which has spawned a new phrase in my house "rub make smooth!"
Riverside, Watkins Glen, I think they did Laguna Seca, Japan, Chicago this year, there was one in Florida in the 60’s that was a road course, benefit is stadium seating with an oval, crowd can watch it
Funny enough, you're not too far off with the etch a sketch conment. Draw a grid on a paper. Draw image on grid. Draw giant grid on ground. Transfer image to ground grid. Mystery solved.
I’ve got the book about the Condor 1 - it’s a remarkable read and the fact that it has proven that the Nazca people could have had access to ‘flight’ is very thought provoking. A lot of the ancient alien stuff isn’t about aliens as such - it’s more about forbidden archaeology aka the stuff that the experts don’t want to think about or consider or admit because it’ll prove their theories wrong. Ancient cultures were a lot more advanced than we give them credit for. We (as a whole, not everyone) don’t like to think that we aren’t the smartest of the bunch. We equate older with less intelligent which is deeply ignorant. I’ve flown over the Nazca Lines and they are amazing. What I didn’t realise before I saw them is the ground isn’t flat - there are ancient river beds under some of them. They’re simply amazing and I would highly recommend people to go see them if they can.
@@elkraken6555 can you give me your source for the Easter Island claim? Or are there just so many lines in different directions that one had to point that way?
Something I never considered until I saw Simon's video is that maybe the ancient people had their own UFO enthusiasts? I mean, there's always been weird people right?
So aliens developed the technology to fly thousands of light years across the galaxy, and draw a cat that looks like a 5 year olds drawing on a fridge.
Considering we invented international travel and still graffiti random world monuments on vacation, it's really not as implausible as you make it out to be.
A bunch of guys with ropes is all that was required to make the markings, but I do recommend "Nazca: The Flight of Condor I" (1980) as an interesting read. The author showed that flight was *possible* (they flew a balloon using a platform woven from reeds and cloth guaranteed to be of lower quality than samples from gravesites), even if the simpler explanation is more likely.
when they said the nazca were "primitive" i thought "but... but... they are a complex society" and i remembered that in fact, i am an archaeologist and the author of chariot of the gods whose name i can't spell, is most definitely not
Thank you for explaining the American company Cat(Caterpillar) to us Americans Simon! We'd be so lost without your immense insight into all things British!
I am Swedish, I am still well aware of them (heck, they made my phone). I don't think they need an explanation to anyone (who has access to internet at least, that tribe on the island that killed that missionary with bows a couple of years back have certainly not heard of them). He might as well explain that Ford makes cars.
@@loke6664 how do you find your phone? I looked into getting one a while back, but then covid and no more workshop time. Hoping to buy workshop soon and a indestructible phone is always a good idea for solo stuff.
@@TheDolphace Honestly, just ordered it on the internet. I had it for 2 years now with no problem, my work have a tendency to kill off any phone. The battery length have dropped a bit but since it has a huge battery it still outlast any Samsung or Iphone at least I owned before. It isn't as indestructible as one of those old Nokia phones from the pre smartphone era but now it is as close as you can get. I wanted a phone that can take a lot of punishment, have 2 slots for chips (I have 2 different phone subscriptions since I live in the country side and if one doesn't work I always have the other) and I wanted something with a huge battery. It wasn't very expensive and I don't really play games on my phone, just calls, SMS, listen to music & audiobooks and use Google maps. I make mining drills for Epiroc and CAT is kinda our largest competitor. Anyways, metal dust kills of any other phone I owned quickly, I recommend them if you want something that can take a lot of punishment and have a long battery life.
1:47 my mind scenario would be more like the Nazcas made a tourist trap for aliens and had stalls with trinkets and souvenirs 17:36 I would say that what's far-fetched is that if you made an airport that looked like the Nazca Lines, airplane crashes would be a lot more common. Now, really, the most likely explanation would be some kind of prayer or message to their gods or ancestors. PS. Has anyone noticed how many "misteries" they tie with Orion due to the Orion Belt? That's just 3 dots in almost straight line and at close to even distances, so with any 3 points close enough you either see that, a triangle or a face.
Ey Simon, just as a bit of information, Maria Reich spend a lot of her lifetime trying to make the government and archeologist aware of the importance of the lines, but was ignored for decades, being the sole person actually trying to preserve them. With no funding and no help, she swept them with a broom as to not let them disappear due to the strong desert winds. so yeah, she was kind of a hero against the stupid neglect of those who should have being doing their jobs in the first place.
It's not that the Nazca were incapable of discovering hot air balloons or gliders, I just don't think they did because I don't know why they would have stopped. The power of flight seems like the kind of thing that would have caught on.
You kind of do have to remember that, in these times, civilizations where often separated from each other and therefore never shared technology, and there is actually a large amount of technology that was lost in the past, only to be rediscovered or reinvented again in the future. There are many technologies that are lost forever, such as Greek Fire. I'm not saying it's likely, but it is very possible that, some long lost civilization out there had the means to fly short distances, and we will never know about it. On another note, just imagine what it's going to be like 2,000 years from now when our future archaeologists discover our old rotary telephones and junk lol. Shit to them, the fact that we used physical telephones at all might be astounding. Then again, humanity did start to collect it's history in writing, and while what we have is often 3/4ths complete or less, often fantastical, second hand accounts, the recent addition of the internet and the explosion of information that has been able to be collected and stored because of it.. maybe there won't be many more lost civilizations moving forward.
@@Miss_Claire I think a lot of technology has been lost and rediscovered (or not), and I don't discount the possibility that manned flight is one of them, I just doubt it strongly
@@drewsollars2239 also, think how much of an edge that would be over other civilisations. In terms of trade, war and just information sharing. It would have been noticed and noted.
Your content is always interesting, thought provoking and entertaining. By the way, we also call them cats here in the U.S. It's short for Catapill er, the company that manufactures them.
Simon thank you for addressing upfront the implicit racism of this mystery. There are sculptures/drawings that are very similar in Simons native home country (The Cerne Abbas Giant), but since they are produced by white people, we view and honor them as the historically significant human creations that they are. As Simon said, the ONLY difference is that people don't think these, non-white, cultures could do it.
I don't think it's actually racism at it's core. If you actually dive down this rabbit hole online you will see that people think EVERY megastructure in history is built by or with the help of aliens. They think the same dumb stuff about Stonehenge, the Parthenon, the Coliseum and countless ancient temples. Hell there's literally people who think Notre Dame and other impressive medieval constructions were secretly built by aliens or with alien technology, or that da Vinci's inventions were also actually learned from aliens, look it up. I this it's more down to people just being small minded/ignorant and having no understanding of human ingenuity and technology. They just can't wrap their heads around the fact that our ancestors managed to accomplish great feats of art and engineering with what they had on hand and by thinking outside the box.
Or there's nothing really mysterious about one horse on a hill or a naked dude with a club, while something like Stonehenge generates just as many crazy conspiracy theories.
Bro that’s total bullshit….no one with an above room temp IQ thinks it was aliens….it was obviously humans…and nothing about this is racist….stop it already.
Nazcar lines where created by a a generation of graffiti artists who where bored because the internet hadn't been invented and Simon's channels had not been created for their entertainment
Romans were building extremely straight roads using geometry, way before the Nazca lines were drawn. But of course the Nazca people were helped by aliens. Simon hit the nail right on the head when he said it's a racism issue.
I think Arnaldo is spot on with his description of what the nasca lines mean but we gotta love a bit of alien explanation for something else they will never have a 💯 answer for
I could be wrong, but I think the 2 compounds that Simon couldn't remember were DMT & epinephrine, respectively. Also in Spanish, X is pronounced as a hard H, similar to CH in Hebrew. Xesspe = Hesspe.
@@vic5015 epinephrine refers to the substance not in relation to the human body,but as used in scientific literature and communication.Adrenaline refers to the glands in the human body.It is like referring to acetyl-salicylic acid as disprin because people know that name
2:00 - *First decade of the second millennium* would be the years *1001-1010.* I don't think that's an accurate timeline for *British backpackers* on the loose in Peru!! You must have meant first decade of the *20th century* or, based on Simon's mention of himself shortly afterward, the first decade of the *third* millennium (2001-2010).
@@bryanlogan621 haha! I had not made it to that part of the episode when I posted my comment but when he said, “DtU,” I was like, “well, of course that’s how he says it”
Simon, i watch your videos constantly and this one makes me laugh! Due to health conditions, laughing causes me pain but I'm willing to endure that pain! Carry on
The Nazca people created some prolific artwork, and they should be credited for that. Aliens didn't do it, and thinking it was directly because of aliens is obviously a silly line of reasoning, but still the beliefs of ancient civilizations about gods could have motivated it. Believing they're showing their work to spirits or gods in the sky would track with the practices of belief throughout history, showcasing your devotion and respect for those you believe to control your fate.
We flew over the lines of Nazca in 2007. They were amazing. The actual construction probably involved a line of workers sweeping the ground with their foot, exposing the unoxidized desert beneath and pushing up a small berm that stands out in sunlight. Then take a small step forward and repeat. But who was the genius who conceived of the whole project? The Nazca Indians who live there now say the lines were already there when their ancestors came. Photos from the 1960s show tire tracks looping through the area but the area has been cleaned up since. Thank you to whoever did it. The Pan American Highway actually cuts through an edge of the area.
They reminded me of the meditation mazes/labyrinth we used to walk on retreat. At the time you are just walking and thinking. Following the path, but it is a designed picture from above. You don't see it, the big picture while in it. There were little cards made up so you could see the image if you wanted to. I think we assume that seeing it from over head was the purpose instead of thinking that as an act of faith or devotion, not seeing it just doing it was important.
I was in Switzerland in about 1970 practicing the piano when a man wandered into the room, sat down and listened to my piano-playing for a good half hour, which I thought was odd because I wasn't very good. He turned out to be Erich von Daniken. We had a nice chat, not about aliens.
I read a book from Erich von Däniken. I'm positive Simon would literally tear his nonexisting hair out if he tried to read it :D He usually simply describes some ancient drawing or what not... so first part is fairly interesting and actually ok (from what I can judge), but after that he is like: "And the only reason this can happen is: ALIENS". I literally screamed out loud: "Dude, very common me can come up with tens of reasons why would somebody draw something like this.... and you say the only solution available is alien hence it must be truth a WHAT?!"
It's either Aliens or people from Atlantis who were in regular contact with aliens. The two often get mixed up since the aliens shared their technology with Atlantis, and the aliens encouraged them to share with the rest of the world. Fred told me so.
Däniken needs to justify his racism somehow. So, instead of PoCs being able to invent methods and create complicated things, it had to be aliens who helped all these ancient non-white cultures.
@@auntbee6993 Never read it, but I've read Graham Hancock's Fingerprints of the Gods. He's also been on JRE a couple times. Smart guy with a lot of interesting points. What do you have against aliens though? The government has admitted to the existence of UFOs. They're intelligently controlled and sightings date back too far to be some Chinese or Russian tech... plus look at how well Russia is doing against Ukraine. That rules out naturally occurring phenomenon and top secret craft... not too many logical options left. Aliens or interdimensional beings really isn't a stretch.
I never heard about the alien theories but I always thought it was neat that the spider depiction was most likely a male of the species Pseudocellus, which extends it's third leg while mating to offer it's sperm to the female. It's generally a small species that can grow to about 10mm in size so this large scale depiction is a good indication that they studied the mating rituals of other species. I don't know anything about this particular ancient culture but if they were religious, it's likely the drawing could have been some sort of fertility symbol.
I know this is an older video but as an osteoarchaeologist, I am so surprised how we want to diminish the past peoples of this earth by saying there was no way they could have done it without help. Humans have been smart and innovative the whole of existence. They are amazing to study and respecting that they were brilliant throughout times past is what my job is all about.
How do I make a straight line on the dirt for a long time? How did the romans do it? Surely even without a foot measure (like the Egyptians used) or the plumbobs of the Romans (or whatever it was), a stake and some twine or rope that is knotted real tight and won't move to make a giant protractor/ruler? Like when you lay foundations..... ? Or am I stupid
Here's my theory on the why: they may have witnessed some celestial phenomenon at some point (like a spectacular comet, or a meteor shower), saw it as some message from the gods, and the drawings were some kind of offering to the gods, to incite them to come back once the phenomenon receded. So they added drawings with time, turned it into some kind or ritual, in the hope that one of them would please the gods enough to lure them back. And yes, I do mean Gods as they created them and believe in them there and then, not aliens. Would not be the stupidest thing people have done for religious beliefs. Do you have something on Crop Circles? If you don't, get cracking! That should be fun!
I like watching Ancient Aliens. I don't believe in visiting aliens (I mean, there have to be other beings out there somewhere but they probably don't know we exist any more than we do them) but the show really highlights how advanced ancient people really were. It's too bad the Spanish and other nations killed them all so we can't ask them how they did it.
My favorites are always those episodes that seem like they decided to go off the deep end (Bigfoot comes from UFOs, Ghosts are connected to aliens, ancient aliens killed the dinosaurs) only for me to later on discover that those are ACTUAL theories in the UFO-ology area.
I find it more realistic that ancient nasca people used their lightweight fabric for primitive balloons that could lift people of the ground slightly for a brief instant, then they got wasted on peyote and did some desert sweeping graffiti
I agree that scaling up plot points from a reference illustration is pretty easy. I used the technique myself to paint a mural of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger on my sons bedroom wall using a picture not much bigger than a postage stamp. Arguing that such shapes can only be made from the air just overly complicates the process. Can you imagine trying to shout to the artists below that they need to rub out a line and redraw it at a different angle? Or are they presuming they used ridiculously long pencils from balloons?
In Adams County near Peebles, Ohio is the Serpent Mound historical site. It's an effigy mound resembling a snake. Many speculate that it was created after an appearance of Halley's comet. But one brilliant mind decided it was actually created by an earthquake.
I grew up near Mandan, ND, near where Custer has his headquarters at Fort Lincoln. As children, we visited his home at Fort Lincoln where the staff pretend to be from the 1800s and pretend like Custer is still alive. It's interesting to have had Custer heroized as a kid, only later to realize that he was pretty much a villain who got what was coming to him.
There was a caterpillar factory just down the road from my house growing up. We called it the cat factory. and the logo is a big CAT. so yeah, across the pond we do still call them cats. ;)
Few months back, my 10yo went out to play in the snow. I have little more than an acre of pretty much open field behind my house. I had come out later and seen his little paths through the snow and paid no attention really to what he had drawn. Later, i went up to the 2nd floor to take a leak and looked out the window and what did i see? A Nazca Cock about 200 ft long with balls big enough to park a moving van inside. Needless to say i was quite proud of his achievement, and so was he. No diagram and no transits or compass required.
Most likely the Nazca were into mushrooms, ayahuasca, peyote, or some other alkaloid hallucinogen. Today we have some other nice entheogens, like LSD, ketamine, DMT, and Salvia Divinorum - a plant only found indigenously in Oaxaca, Mexico. All are of course highly recommended if you need inspiration to make your own mark on the world.
They used to sell Salvia in corner stores here in Ontario Canada when I was a teenager back 20yrs ago and I watched several friends smoke it and it was fucked, 5 mons of severe tripping and not being able to stand up, my one friend was into the Snuff VHS series Faces of Death, Live deaths caught on cctv to brutal for tv. Anyways when he smoked it he was screaming he was seeing fire and was looking at the Gates of Hell the whole time seeing dead People. The dude was never the same since. I've tried most drugs under the Sun but seeing this fk up several of my old friends ad I'm glad I never tried it lol. I'm sober from everything now though thankfully.
What if the Nazca biomorphs really were drawn by Ancient Aliens? (Hang on: I'm goin' somewhere with this!) What if they were the extraterrestrial equivalents of Neil Buchanan, and the Nazca plain was an alien Big Art Attack? 😉😁
Today Brain Blaze talked about expensive pieces of cardboard and Simon drew a goat. His goat was at least as good as the Nazca cat. Did your DNA test come back with Peruvian ancestry?
Glad to see this again!! I was trying to remember where I saw the super posh guy and Simon has a bazillion videos and it would have been fruitless to try to find it. I've started wanting to say, "Perah, darling." for Peru! 😎
How did they plan and draw the shapes? Knotted rope, maybe. You honestly just need some way to accurately measure a given distance and mark it. I'd also contest the claim that it would take decades to carve them. This is completely unsupported by any study.
The Second Millennium was 1001 - 2000AD - I doubt that there were many British backpackers wandering around Peru during its first decade (unless, mayhap, some time-travelling aliens took them there?) ^_~
And, they must be clones because they lack the necessities for sexual reproduction. I think the best alien concept is reptilians. It's alt-hist for what if the dinosaurs weren't wiped out. Harry Turtledove has even included them in his WWll alt history novels. Masterfully done and quite amusing. ✌️😎
i like to look at it like this. how much of our technology has grown over the past 40 years. in such a short time we have learned and made amazingly complicated things. and we know very little of the past so whats stopping them for having made such amazing technological progression.
Oh my GOD the Animorphs were my childhood comic books. XD started reading them in the 3rd grade when they first came out. XD As for the alien graffiti artists, I often wonder if the so called "probing" and cattle mutilations, if really done by aliens surely are done by drunken alien fratbois. Von Danniken is a swiss hotel manager. He made an amusement park full of doctored up evidence, copies of ancient artwork and such, edited in the copying to look like evidence of aliens. But the work is just too new, too clean. It all comes out wrong. It also makes it look like all he cares about is making money off his theory. Simon what he's saying is that the Orien aliens were present on earth for thousands and thousands of years, long enough that two seperate generations of them did two seperate things. He's not saying the nazis built the lines or some shit like that. Although if they've used radical life extension to invent the bionic ass, (brain blaze reference) it may be the same generation because they figured out how to live that long. Gaia is not only worse than history channel, its 100% about the paranormal and brainwashing people... ahem I mean persuading people... to believe in the paranormal rather than science. I don't think its a coincidence that a large number of people came to believe in conspiracy theories and disbelieve science at the same time the History channel was doubling down on its ancient alien bullshit. And I bet Gaia is a favorite guilty pleasure among the Q anon crowd.
2:00 - Wait a minute, why were there British backpackers in Peru ONE THOUSAND years ago?!? The "first decade of the second Millennium" was from 1001 to 1010. What's more, one of them was Simon, so Simon is at least a thousand years old.
Funny how it's never "The ancient Greeks could never have built these huge temples and statues by themselves. It must be aliens." While I agree that the star alignment theory needs more work the fact that something aligns with Fomalhaut is telling. It's one of the brightest stars in the southern sky and it sits isolated from other stars. The face that ancient civilizations might have attached significance to this star is not a stretch.
The Universidad Pontifica is a Catholic university...because Peru's state religion is Catholicism. So the academics conducted there are just as viable as in other universities. I was there for a conference, and the place was pretty big, well kept, with some ancient ruins even running through it (though that's also just a part of being located in Lima). I've been to the Nazca Lines (I did the plane ride and nearly barfed all over them...), and the lines aren't that interesting. More interesting are the mummies you can see in the areas, the expanses of sand dunes, and the way that the Nazca managed their water: making covered tunnels of water with vanishingly small gradients. Nazca today often gets as little as 10 mm of rain in a year, so the fact that such a thriving civilization existed to begin with is a marvel of water engineering.
You have to stop calling these theories “vaguely racists”. I am an anthropologist and archaeologist that has worked in both Central America And Peru, we consider ideas that the native peoples could not have built these monuments as being expressly racist.
I'd like to see an episode about the "Little Green Men of Kelly" because watching Simon lose his mind about aliens attacking a farm house in the 50's would be amazing.
Kelly Green is my father's favorite color... I wonder if there is a connection? Oh daaaad.....?lol
Get on it, Kevin!
Grab a pitchfork and blunderbuss!
Also the one story about the family attacked by Bigfoot in… was it Arkansas?
Also the Hopkinsville goblins?
Simon on a tangent- "Good God Simon, this is *not* what people are here for"
Me - this is exactly what I am here for.
I'm glad too see he still has some channels were he gets lost in Tangents XD
Me in a Spanish class in Costa Rica, when the teacher says that no one can figure out how the Nasca lines were made without an overhead view:
"Geometry. You make a small diagram, use math to scale up the dimensions, and that tells you where you need to make each turn."
Simon, 7 years later:
"How could they build the Nasca lines without an overhead view? I don't know. Like scale diagrams?"
Simon and I. Same page
Aha! But… BUT, how would they have known about that spider that you need a microscope to see that teeny tiny body part sticking out that they depicted?? (I think it was some kind of appendage? I don’t remember)
As a math tutor, Yes! It hurts my head when people say that! ✌️😎🌻
Artists and architects have been using that method for milennia. Hard to understand why people don't get that.
Ok, we can guess how they were made, I just wonder why they were made.
@@budhalbr Aliens. 100% sure it was aliens. 🤣
My new favorite hobby is clipping Simon's rants out of context and sending them to my friend who got me into watching Simon in the first place
That is an amazing idea, thanks for the idea ! 😂🤣
@@girlyMulle A *Best of* video montage ? That'd be perfect. Let's hope Simon doesn't spread himself too thin....
It's nice to see someone enjoying their work. Simon is having plenty of fun !
I went down a rabbit hole of pre-Columbian engineering once, and discovered Peruvians were crazy amazing about building on cliffs, and terrace farming. To do all this accurately they used quite a bit of primitive transits, and sextants. Especially they built a lot of irrigation canals and tunnels because of the place that they lived. So with those tools they could just as easily created the Nazca Lines. Sorry alienophiles!
It’s crazy how many people choose to believe in secret alien visits. Rather than, the indigenous people of the Americas were just as smart as everyone else, but just didn’t have the common access to the technologies that spread amongst the people from China to Algeria.
Most of these kinda things boil down to the same thing "those ancient people were dumb, we are way smarter! No way they could do it, we only just worked out this long complicated method and there's definitely no other way!"
Cool stuff!
Literally every time humans invent something, we find a way to use it for art, assign it a religious significance, or often both at once. A culture whose cutting-edge technology is the ability to plan out and execute canal systems would totally do the Nasca Lines.
The only mystery is if it was to make art for the gods, with the time and effort maybe being seen as a sacrifice, or if it was, like, a hobby group of retired canal diggers who also really liked birds.
@@generatoralignmentdevalue Oh, I so want it to be retired canal builders who wanted to make art. It was a retired mechanical engineer who started the art car movement, wasn't it?
We didn’t go by Peru during Pre-Columbian times. We went by Tribe names like the Quechua people (that’s me), the Aymara’s, Inka etc. We are all over what is now Ecuador, Bolivia, Chile, and Colombia cuz that was all under Inca Rule so you’d also be calling those people Peruvian too and they aren’t.
I used to work in a retail electronics department, and people used to set the alarm clocks (yes, I am old) to go off at random times, including after closing so that as we were trying to leave we would would hear them going off, and have to decide to just leave them, or turn them off. Maybe that's what aliens did 2500 years ago - scraped these lines in the dirt after travelling trillions of kilometres in order to complete a prank they would never see come to fruition, but are somehow satisfied in that they did it anyway.
I love reading the comments before watching the video, and wondering how tf Simon got off onto a tangent about alarm clocks or whatever 🤣
Or ppl put the hotel tv timer on so it turns on in the middle of the night for the next occupant. That's happened to me! Definitely was a ghost
Oh man... I'm 35 and I used to do that as a kid!! Sorry to all those workers now 😇
I used to do that in the store I worked in
Simon: we have the company CAT. It's actually short for caterpillar. I remember, growing up, my grandpa always called his bulldozer the "Caterpillar". Since he had several different farm implements, he referred to each of his tractors and his dozer by their maker. He had the "Little Case", the "Big Case", the "John Deere" and the "Caterpillar". Love all your channels! Big fan from Oklahoma!
That’s not what he meant, he’s just referring to the idiomatic nature of calling it a “Cat” (which we do in Canada as well, but UK and Canadian English are the same thing). Where Americans almost entirely refer to it like you said by the company name.
Wisconsin must be tweeking or something... 80% of the time even if it's a boom arm lift made by CAT someone around here would call it a Bobcat because those two make the best skidsters around... funny enough I'm half a hour away from dealerships for both
Some years back, a teacher and her students demonstrated how the lines could have been made just using a scale drawing and the students walking the image into the ground. Very impressive. Awesome video, as always!
I remember seeing a (fiction)book from the 70s in a school library years ago that was written from the perspective of a future archeologist about our modern society and among the things I remember is that bathrooms were seen as worship spaces and toilets were altars with the seats as ceremonial necklaces and that complex highway interchanges were compared to the Nazca lines
I remember that book. It was awesome. Talk about taking the ivory throne to extremes.
That’s hilarious! I wish I knew what that book was called!
Motel of Mysteries
@@AnnaAnna-uc2ff Thank you!
That book was after my time, but I did have an art education professor who used to introduce the idea of post-modernism (in a nutshell, all things are relative to time and place).
An episode on the Bosnian Pyramids of the Sun and Moon would be a fun one. Pyramids, aliens, alternate origins of humanity, mystical healing springs, only for it to turn out to be a hill. Like, not even a pyramid or a burial mound, literally just a hill. Simon's reaction to that reveal would be hysterical.
Also, the whole "mountains aren't real, they're actually trees cut down by a race of prehistoric giants" conspiracy is nothing short of comedy gold.
Wuuuut? Mountains aren't real? That idea is fantastic! I'm definitely bringing that up at the next dinner party.
When I was a kid living in the midwest, after a new snow, I would put on my boots and go to a large park. I would create giant chicken-like foot prints where each of the front 3 claws were 6 foot prints, 2-wide, 3 long. Same with the single back claw. The base of the foot was larger in the front and smaller in the back. I was very athletic as a kid and I could do a 2 step leap over and ahead of the foot print in a way that didn't leave much evidence of me doing so. I would spend 30 minutes or so and when I was done, there tracks of a giant chicken walking across the field. It was best if there was a light snow going on, then the effect was perfect. I think I was like 11 when I started doing this, it got more elaborate as I grew up.
Sounds like epic fun! Miss the snow....Now living in Central Valley CA, and spend way too much time hoping this will be the year we get snow! 🤦🍀😸
I love everything about this
I totally did this too! Giant bird prints ftw!
Imagine not having TV or the internet, or video games. Imagine how your artwork would have progressed. 😂😂
omg!! YOU are an ancient alien.
do your parents know?
Loving the new upload schedule from someone in the United States west coast. I end my Friday work day with BB, Casual Criminalist, and Decoding. Legendary
Same!
I don’t know why it’s that inconceivable that ancient humans can achieve this. Waaaay back in the day (pre internet) we used the graph method to enlarge images. Laborious and time consuming work that required a tiny bit of mathematics, but it worked 👍
For most of ancient history humans didn’t achieve anything until European civilizations appeared. 99% of scientific discoveries happened in a very short span of time relatively recently. It’s like most humans were primitive and were content eating raw meat or something 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
What is easier to explain and understand: "the graph method" or "aliens"?
@@tubensalat1453 If you just explain things by saying "Aliens made it" or "God made it" then it is easier but that is ignoring a few things. Like how the aliens got there, why they visited one of the most desolated places on earth instead of somewhere more populated and why they thought painting in dirt was worth the effort...
There is a planet in Proxima Century that has the potential for life 6 lightyears away, now assuming that the planet have evolved intelligent life with basic spacefaring they could have visited earth a couple of times but that does not explain why they built their spaceport by drawing in the dirt. That explanation is way more complicated then a third method: a stick with a string tied to it, which you can use to create these things as well.
I think it is more which sounds more amazing, not easy. "Who" is always easy to guess but you also need to explain "why" and "how".
Who: The people of Nazka, Why: to impress the Gods, how: with strings and sticks. That is easy.
Reminds me of the time an idiot friend was talking about crystal skulls and how did they make them so round and smooth?! Must be aliens!
Or just.... you polish for ages. I could do it now, it's not hard, just takes a while.
Which has spawned a new phrase in my house "rub make smooth!"
@@TheDolphace yeah...very bored people back in the day/slaves...they could do all that
If they were truly Nascar lines, they would only be turning left. 😉
“NASCAR and aliens are often drawn in the same breathe”
🇺🇸🎭🏁
Riverside, Watkins Glen, I think they did Laguna Seca, Japan, Chicago this year, there was one in Florida in the 60’s that was a road course, benefit is stadium seating with an oval, crowd can watch it
Pretty sure there are. They're black and are on concrete loops at places called speedways or tracks
Lost my shit, thanks lol
@@TheTotallyRealXiJinpingBy any chance, is this really Xi Jinping?
8:40 - Chapter 1 - Welcome to Nazca Interstellar Airpot
21:20 - Chapter 2 - A threat from Orion
24:25 - Chapter 3 - Designers on hot air balloons
26:40 - Chapter 4 - Enter the experts
32:50 - Conclusion
36:10 - Bonus facts
NASCAR LMFAOOOOOO
@@Humanh8red Yes, i was pretty tired that time...
We need one these just for his tangents.
Thanks!
The Nasca lines were actually created by an enormous Etch-a-Sketch which was stolen by the aliens.
Likely there was a lot of earthquake activity at the time.
😂
Funny enough, you're not too far off with the etch a sketch conment.
Draw a grid on a paper. Draw image on grid.
Draw giant grid on ground.
Transfer image to ground grid.
Mystery solved.
@@DrSpoculusinteresting take, but why the lines off at angles
@@DrSpoculusalso why do the lines go way further than the area of glyphs, maybe those were eroded but even then why do it
At least half of my enjoyment of these videos comes from Simon trying to pronounce names.
Names? I'd just like him to learn how to pronounce "drawing" correctly? Drawering? Aluminium?
The only pronunciation he ever gets right is his own name 😘🥰
Personally, I think that the lines were made because someone needed some more Faith, food, and production in a desert.
I’ve got the book about the Condor 1 - it’s a remarkable read and the fact that it has proven that the Nazca people could have had access to ‘flight’ is very thought provoking. A lot of the ancient alien stuff isn’t about aliens as such - it’s more about forbidden archaeology aka the stuff that the experts don’t want to think about or consider or admit because it’ll prove their theories wrong.
Ancient cultures were a lot more advanced than we give them credit for. We (as a whole, not everyone) don’t like to think that we aren’t the smartest of the bunch. We equate older with less intelligent which is deeply ignorant.
I’ve flown over the Nazca Lines and they are amazing. What I didn’t realise before I saw them is the ground isn’t flat - there are ancient river beds under some of them. They’re simply amazing and I would highly recommend people to go see them if they can.
No, you are never too harsh ripping into von Daniken. He did, after all, write one of his books while in prison for fraud.
Wow is that true ,
@@danielrodgers8870 true
And he must have read Charroux before he wrote his books.
I love how at least half of the episode is Simon being flabberghasted at how complicated these theories get.
Human stupidity never ceases to amaze.
The other half is him struggling to pronounce, “efforlutlessly.”
Not to mention his totally sarcastic readings!
Dude! You gotta smoke DMT once at least.... you most likely will never want to do it again........but yo have GOT to do it once!
@@elkraken6555 can you give me your source for the Easter Island claim?
Or are there just so many lines in different directions that one had to point that way?
Something I never considered until I saw Simon's video is that maybe the ancient people had their own UFO enthusiasts?
I mean, there's always been weird people right?
Love how Simon was instantly like, can't you just scale it up?
So aliens developed the technology to fly thousands of light years across the galaxy, and draw a cat that looks like a 5 year olds drawing on a fridge.
Considering we invented international travel and still graffiti random world monuments on vacation, it's really not as implausible as you make it out to be.
A bunch of guys with ropes is all that was required to make the markings, but I do recommend "Nazca: The Flight of Condor I" (1980) as an interesting read. The author showed that flight was *possible* (they flew a balloon using a platform woven from reeds and cloth guaranteed to be of lower quality than samples from gravesites), even if the simpler explanation is more likely.
when they said the nazca were "primitive" i thought "but... but... they are a complex society" and i remembered that in fact, i am an archaeologist and the author of chariot of the gods whose name i can't spell, is most definitely not
Thank you for explaining the American company Cat(Caterpillar) to us Americans Simon! We'd be so lost without your immense insight into all things British!
Caterpillar bought the track technology from the British inventor (I think it was a case of two people having the same idea around the same time).
I am Swedish, I am still well aware of them (heck, they made my phone). I don't think they need an explanation to anyone (who has access to internet at least, that tribe on the island that killed that missionary with bows a couple of years back have certainly not heard of them). He might as well explain that Ford makes cars.
@@loke6664 how do you find your phone? I looked into getting one a while back, but then covid and no more workshop time.
Hoping to buy workshop soon and a indestructible phone is always a good idea for solo stuff.
@@TheDolphace Honestly, just ordered it on the internet. I had it for 2 years now with no problem, my work have a tendency to kill off any phone.
The battery length have dropped a bit but since it has a huge battery it still outlast any Samsung or Iphone at least I owned before.
It isn't as indestructible as one of those old Nokia phones from the pre smartphone era but now it is as close as you can get.
I wanted a phone that can take a lot of punishment, have 2 slots for chips (I have 2 different phone subscriptions since I live in the country side and if one doesn't work I always have the other) and I wanted something with a huge battery.
It wasn't very expensive and I don't really play games on my phone, just calls, SMS, listen to music & audiobooks and use Google maps.
I make mining drills for Epiroc and CAT is kinda our largest competitor. Anyways, metal dust kills of any other phone I owned quickly, I recommend them if you want something that can take a lot of punishment and have a long battery life.
You know, the idea of interstellar grafiti artists and other such scoundrels is something I want more of in sci-fi
1:47 my mind scenario would be more like the Nazcas made a tourist trap for aliens and had stalls with trinkets and souvenirs
17:36 I would say that what's far-fetched is that if you made an airport that looked like the Nazca Lines, airplane crashes would be a lot more common.
Now, really, the most likely explanation would be some kind of prayer or message to their gods or ancestors.
PS. Has anyone noticed how many "misteries" they tie with Orion due to the Orion Belt? That's just 3 dots in almost straight line and at close to even distances, so with any 3 points close enough you either see that, a triangle or a face.
Ey Simon, just as a bit of information, Maria Reich spend a lot of her lifetime trying to make the government and archeologist aware of the importance of the lines, but was ignored for decades, being the sole person actually trying to preserve them. With no funding and no help, she swept them with a broom as to not let them disappear due to the strong desert winds. so yeah, she was kind of a hero against the stupid neglect of those who should have being doing their jobs in the first place.
Another awesome episode! Thank you Arnaldo, Jen and Simon!
It's not that the Nazca were incapable of discovering hot air balloons or gliders, I just don't think they did because I don't know why they would have stopped. The power of flight seems like the kind of thing that would have caught on.
Yea the power of flight isnt something you discover and say, "neat" then never use again.
You kind of do have to remember that, in these times, civilizations where often separated from each other and therefore never shared technology, and there is actually a large amount of technology that was lost in the past, only to be rediscovered or reinvented again in the future. There are many technologies that are lost forever, such as Greek Fire. I'm not saying it's likely, but it is very possible that, some long lost civilization out there had the means to fly short distances, and we will never know about it.
On another note, just imagine what it's going to be like 2,000 years from now when our future archaeologists discover our old rotary telephones and junk lol. Shit to them, the fact that we used physical telephones at all might be astounding. Then again, humanity did start to collect it's history in writing, and while what we have is often 3/4ths complete or less, often fantastical, second hand accounts, the recent addition of the internet and the explosion of information that has been able to be collected and stored because of it.. maybe there won't be many more lost civilizations moving forward.
@@Miss_Claire I think a lot of technology has been lost and rediscovered (or not), and I don't discount the possibility that manned flight is one of them, I just doubt it strongly
@@drewsollars2239 also, think how much of an edge that would be over other civilisations. In terms of trade, war and just information sharing. It would have been noticed and noted.
@@JohnRidley12 it also seems like someone ingenious enough to do it would be bright enough to grasp its significance
Your content is always interesting, thought provoking and entertaining. By the way, we also call them cats here in the U.S. It's short for Catapill er, the company that manufactures them.
Yeah catapiller rebranded over here and just use CAT because it was a common name used by tradesmen
Love you trying to get a sponsor out of scripts, shows you truly love using it
Simon thank you for addressing upfront the implicit racism of this mystery.
There are sculptures/drawings that are very similar in Simons native home country (The Cerne Abbas Giant), but since they are produced by white people, we view and honor them as the historically significant human creations that they are.
As Simon said, the ONLY difference is that people don't think these, non-white, cultures could do it.
I don't think it's actually racism at it's core. If you actually dive down this rabbit hole online you will see that people think EVERY megastructure in history is built by or with the help of aliens. They think the same dumb stuff about Stonehenge, the Parthenon, the Coliseum and countless ancient temples. Hell there's literally people who think Notre Dame and other impressive medieval constructions were secretly built by aliens or with alien technology, or that da Vinci's inventions were also actually learned from aliens, look it up. I this it's more down to people just being small minded/ignorant and having no understanding of human ingenuity and technology. They just can't wrap their heads around the fact that our ancestors managed to accomplish great feats of art and engineering with what they had on hand and by thinking outside the box.
Or there's nothing really mysterious about one horse on a hill or a naked dude with a club, while something like Stonehenge generates just as many crazy conspiracy theories.
@@Insanati Yeah good point, Stonehenge has alien theories to it too.
Bro that’s total bullshit….no one with an above room temp IQ thinks it was aliens….it was obviously humans…and nothing about this is racist….stop it already.
What’s weird to me is how it’s Oh the Maya built this or the Aztecs built that but everywhere else it’s aliens 🤷🏻♀️🤣
I really appreciate Simon Whistler. I enjoy his channels. And he is very funny. Keep up the good work.
every time someone brings up "Chariots of the Gods" I never think of the book. I only ever think of the SG-1 episode named after it 😂😂😂
Nazcar lines where created by a a generation of graffiti artists who where bored because the internet hadn't been invented and Simon's channels had not been created for their entertainment
fuckin awesome . defo true
*WERE.
I know I have dislexia
The Nazcar lines were made by fast cars only turning left
Romans were building extremely straight roads using geometry, way before the Nazca lines were drawn. But of course the Nazca people were helped by aliens. Simon hit the nail right on the head when he said it's a racism issue.
Most ancient alien things are based in racism
There’s always got to be ONE like you, eh?
@@maxdanielj -Two......
@@martyzielinski1442 I might not be the first to point that out in that comment section I grant you that. However, it is still true nonetheless.
@@martyzielinski1442 it's quite terrifying where the world's humans are heading with all this racism that isn't racism bollocks.
I’ve been waiting for you to do the nazca lines. I’m so excited for this episode
I think Arnaldo is spot on with his description of what the nasca lines mean but we gotta love a bit of alien explanation for something else they will never have a 💯 answer for
I could be wrong, but I think the 2 compounds that Simon couldn't remember were DMT & epinephrine, respectively. Also in Spanish, X is pronounced as a hard H, similar to CH in Hebrew. Xesspe = Hesspe.
Correct.
The second one is definitely epinephrine. Which is just synthetic adrenaline. Really not sure why scientists gage it a different name.
I thought he was referring to ayahuasca? Lots of people seem to be into it now
@@vic5015 epinephrine refers to the substance not in relation to the human body,but as used in scientific literature and communication.Adrenaline refers to the glands in the human body.It is like referring to acetyl-salicylic acid as disprin because people know that name
Your constant stupid comments attacking one religion only is as annoying as your obvious absence of adequate training,insight and respect.
I love posting viewer engagement help for Legendary content creators....and Simon if I have nothing better to do.
2:00 - *First decade of the second millennium* would be the years *1001-1010.* I don't think that's an accurate timeline for *British backpackers* on the loose in Peru!! You must have meant first decade of the *20th century* or, based on Simon's mention of himself shortly afterward, the first decade of the *third* millennium (2001-2010).
Don’t be so harsh. Anglo-Saxon trainee huscarls on a gap year visiting Peru is far more likely than aliens making the Nasca lines
Don't you think it is plausible that Simon was casually backpacking in Peru a thousand years ago? He probably went over with the Vikings.
Stuff like “Aliens built pyramids” give reasonable people who happen to believe there’s life outside the planet a bad name
I cheer on Simon dumping all over these farcical conspiracies. It's why I'm here!
You might like Milo Rossi's "Awful Archaeology" series on his channel Miniminuteman. 😉🙂
I want Simon’s sister to do a decoding the unknown episode
Do you mean dtu?
@@bryanlogan621 haha! I had not made it to that part of the episode when I posted my comment but when he said, “DtU,” I was like, “well, of course that’s how he says it”
@@MrDicehead Kevin goes by DTUKevin on here
Simon, i watch your videos constantly and this one makes me laugh! Due to health conditions, laughing causes me pain but I'm willing to endure that pain! Carry on
The Nazca people created some prolific artwork, and they should be credited for that. Aliens didn't do it, and thinking it was directly because of aliens is obviously a silly line of reasoning, but still the beliefs of ancient civilizations about gods could have motivated it. Believing they're showing their work to spirits or gods in the sky would track with the practices of belief throughout history, showcasing your devotion and respect for those you believe to control your fate.
We flew over the lines of Nazca in 2007. They were amazing. The actual construction probably involved a line of workers sweeping the ground with their foot, exposing the unoxidized desert beneath and pushing up a small berm that stands out in sunlight. Then take a small step forward and repeat. But who was the genius who conceived of the whole project? The Nazca Indians who live there now say the lines were already there when their ancestors came. Photos from the 1960s show tire tracks looping through the area but the area has been cleaned up since. Thank you to whoever did it. The Pan American Highway actually cuts through an edge of the area.
They reminded me of the meditation mazes/labyrinth we used to walk on retreat. At the time you are just walking and thinking. Following the path, but it is a designed picture from above. You don't see it, the big picture while in it. There were little cards made up so you could see the image if you wanted to.
I think we assume that seeing it from over head was the purpose instead of thinking that as an act of faith or devotion, not seeing it just doing it was important.
I was in Switzerland in about 1970 practicing the piano when a man wandered into the room, sat down and listened to my piano-playing for a good half hour, which I thought was odd because I wasn't very good. He turned out to be Erich von Daniken. We had a nice chat, not about aliens.
I read a book from Erich von Däniken. I'm positive Simon would literally tear his nonexisting hair out if he tried to read it :D He usually simply describes some ancient drawing or what not... so first part is fairly interesting and actually ok (from what I can judge), but after that he is like: "And the only reason this can happen is: ALIENS". I literally screamed out loud: "Dude, very common me can come up with tens of reasons why would somebody draw something like this.... and you say the only solution available is alien hence it must be truth a WHAT?!"
It's either Aliens or people from Atlantis who were in regular contact with aliens. The two often get mixed up since the aliens shared their technology with Atlantis, and the aliens encouraged them to share with the rest of the world. Fred told me so.
Däniken needs to justify his racism somehow. So, instead of PoCs being able to invent methods and create complicated things, it had to be aliens who helped all these ancient non-white cultures.
I read Chariots of the Gods and had no idea he was a master of woo, and I enjoyed it until I hit the part about aliens, then I laughed until I cried😂
@@auntbee6993 Never read it, but I've read Graham Hancock's Fingerprints of the Gods. He's also been on JRE a couple times. Smart guy with a lot of interesting points.
What do you have against aliens though? The government has admitted to the existence of UFOs. They're intelligently controlled and sightings date back too far to be some Chinese or Russian tech... plus look at how well Russia is doing against Ukraine. That rules out naturally occurring phenomenon and top secret craft... not too many logical options left.
Aliens or interdimensional beings really isn't a stretch.
The real reason he went bald.
Thanks, Simon and crew!
I never heard about the alien theories but I always thought it was neat that the spider depiction was most likely a male of the species Pseudocellus, which extends it's third leg while mating to offer it's sperm to the female. It's generally a small species that can grow to about 10mm in size so this large scale depiction is a good indication that they studied the mating rituals of other species. I don't know anything about this particular ancient culture but if they were religious, it's likely the drawing could have been some sort of fertility symbol.
Right at the start I’ll say this I enjoy all your content and channels especially looking forward to those nascar lines
IT'S NOT ALIENS is Simon's version of Dr. House saying "It's NEVER Lupus."
Except one time it *was* lupis. It will never be aliens.
I know this is an older video but as an osteoarchaeologist, I am so surprised how we want to diminish the past peoples of this earth by saying there was no way they could have done it without help. Humans have been smart and innovative the whole of existence. They are amazing to study and respecting that they were brilliant throughout times past is what my job is all about.
It's amazing what humans can achieve with a stick in the ground and a rope.
Always love the casual swearing of Simon
Actually Simon those pointless side tangents are very much part of the fun of your channel 😊
Absolutely love the comedic satire with underlying truth theory. Such a mesmerising means of unlocking his-story.
How do I make a straight line on the dirt for a long time? How did the romans do it? Surely even without a foot measure (like the Egyptians used) or the plumbobs of the Romans (or whatever it was), a stake and some twine or rope that is knotted real tight and won't move to make a giant protractor/ruler? Like when you lay foundations..... ? Or am I stupid
Check out how the Roman empire built their roads
"This is much easier to figure out than fucking flight."
This channel fucking rules
Here's my theory on the why: they may have witnessed some celestial phenomenon at some point (like a spectacular comet, or a meteor shower), saw it as some message from the gods, and the drawings were some kind of offering to the gods, to incite them to come back once the phenomenon receded. So they added drawings with time, turned it into some kind or ritual, in the hope that one of them would please the gods enough to lure them back. And yes, I do mean Gods as they created them and believe in them there and then, not aliens. Would not be the stupidest thing people have done for religious beliefs. Do you have something on Crop Circles? If you don't, get cracking! That should be fun!
Agreed there is some massive absolutely insane Crop Circles that have popped up seemingly over night. Would be a good episode for Simon to do for sure
I like how whoever was running the bleep button just gave up like 10 minutes in. Somehow it makes the initial bleeps even funnier.
I like watching Ancient Aliens. I don't believe in visiting aliens (I mean, there have to be other beings out there somewhere but they probably don't know we exist any more than we do them) but the show really highlights how advanced ancient people really were. It's too bad the Spanish and other nations killed them all so we can't ask them how they did it.
My favorites are always those episodes that seem like they decided to go off the deep end (Bigfoot comes from UFOs, Ghosts are connected to aliens, ancient aliens killed the dinosaurs) only for me to later on discover that those are ACTUAL theories in the UFO-ology area.
the NASCAR lines 😂🤣😂🤣 love it Simon
btw, the Joe Rogan thing around the 13:20 mark. it's Ayahuasca/DMT he bangs on about 😜
"NASCAR" shows up in the auto-generated captions, too...😁
I find it more realistic that ancient nasca people used their lightweight fabric for primitive balloons that could lift people of the ground slightly for a brief instant, then they got wasted on peyote and did some desert sweeping graffiti
Sacred medicine was only for the healers. Not regular people.
I agree that scaling up plot points from a reference illustration is pretty easy. I used the technique myself to paint a mural of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger on my sons bedroom wall using a picture not much bigger than a postage stamp. Arguing that such shapes can only be made from the air just overly complicates the process. Can you imagine trying to shout to the artists below that they need to rub out a line and redraw it at a different angle? Or are they presuming they used ridiculously long pencils from balloons?
In Adams County near Peebles, Ohio is the Serpent Mound historical site. It's an effigy mound resembling a snake. Many speculate that it was created after an appearance of Halley's comet.
But one brilliant mind decided it was actually created by an earthquake.
Have a look at Graham Hancock's work.
I grew up near Mandan, ND, near where Custer has his headquarters at Fort Lincoln. As children, we visited his home at Fort Lincoln where the staff pretend to be from the 1800s and pretend like Custer is still alive. It's interesting to have had Custer heroized as a kid, only later to realize that he was pretty much a villain who got what was coming to him.
How do you want to leave your mark in the world?
Simon Whistler: "LONG ASS TANGENTS!!!!"
Simon: "Why are you explaining this, Simon? Good lord, this is not why people are here."
Me: "THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WHY I AM HERE"
There was a caterpillar factory just down the road from my house growing up. We called it the cat factory. and the logo is a big CAT. so yeah, across the pond we do still call them cats. ;)
And I recently found out that what I call a cherry picker is actually called a man lift.
Few months back, my 10yo went out to play in the snow. I have little more than an acre of pretty much open field behind my house. I had come out later and seen his little paths through the snow and paid no attention really to what he had drawn. Later, i went up to the 2nd floor to take a leak and looked out the window and what did i see? A Nazca Cock about 200 ft long with balls big enough to park a moving van inside. Needless to say i was quite proud of his achievement, and so was he. No diagram and no transits or compass required.
"ancient Peruvians couldn't do this!"
*ancient Peruvians, doing neurosurgery when Europe was dying of plague*
I now know more about the Nazca Etch-A-Sketch™️! Ty Simon & co.!
when flying crafts leave long lines in the ground its called 'crashing'
And there's usually a huge mass of smoking wreckage at one end...😁
jen stopping the music whenever simon interrupts himself kills me
I hadn’t noticed but now I am and I’m laughing each time
Most likely the Nazca were into mushrooms, ayahuasca, peyote, or some other alkaloid hallucinogen. Today we have some other nice entheogens, like LSD, ketamine, DMT, and Salvia Divinorum - a plant only found indigenously in Oaxaca, Mexico. All are of course highly recommended if you need inspiration to make your own mark on the world.
DMT comes from Ayahuasca innit😀
Salvia is kinda crazy, cannot recommend.
They used to sell Salvia in corner stores here in Ontario Canada when I was a teenager back 20yrs ago and I watched several friends smoke it and it was fucked, 5 mons of severe tripping and not being able to stand up, my one friend was into the Snuff VHS series Faces of Death, Live deaths caught on cctv to brutal for tv. Anyways when he smoked it he was screaming he was seeing fire and was looking at the Gates of Hell the whole time seeing dead People. The dude was never the same since. I've tried most drugs under the Sun but seeing this fk up several of my old friends ad I'm glad I never tried it lol. I'm sober from everything now though thankfully.
I really enjoy listening to at least four of your podcasts. Keep up the good humor. 😅
What if the Nazca biomorphs really were drawn by Ancient Aliens?
(Hang on: I'm goin' somewhere with this!)
What if they were the extraterrestrial equivalents of Neil Buchanan, and the Nazca plain was an alien Big Art Attack? 😉😁
Omg Simon, 10:10 perfect Spot for a square space ad :D
Today Brain Blaze talked about expensive pieces of cardboard and Simon drew a goat. His goat was at least as good as the Nazca cat. Did your DNA test come back with Peruvian ancestry?
Pirate preacher is my favorite preacher voice. 🤣🤣
Love this show. You remind me of the sexiest man alive Sir Patrick Stewart. Of course you're rocking that beard too. Great job 5 stars!
Young captain picard ! Yes I'd subscribe to paramount plus for Simon in that show !
Patrick Stewart is the perfect man.
Glad to see this again!! I was trying to remember where I saw the super posh guy and Simon has a bazillion videos and it would have been fruitless to try to find it. I've started wanting to say, "Perah, darling." for Peru! 😎
How did they plan and draw the shapes? Knotted rope, maybe. You honestly just need some way to accurately measure a given distance and mark it. I'd also contest the claim that it would take decades to carve them. This is completely unsupported by any study.
Dear Simon, we have CAT in the US. You've asked a few times over the last year or two. Lots of love. Help us.
The Second Millennium was 1001 - 2000AD - I doubt that there were many British backpackers wandering around Peru during its first decade (unless, mayhap, some time-travelling aliens took them there?) ^_~
Simon's going to be the parent who if his children like fantasy he's going to crush their imagination and fun
Au contraire whistle Boi, your tangents are one of the reasons we love you
You ever notice how all depictions of aliens from these conspiracy things have them walking around naked? Is it just me, or is that kinda weird?
Just you. No reason to think that aliens would have a nudity taboo in their culture.
And, they must be clones because they lack the necessities for sexual reproduction.
I think the best alien concept is reptilians. It's alt-hist for what if the dinosaurs weren't wiped out. Harry Turtledove has even included them in his WWll alt history novels. Masterfully done and quite amusing. ✌️😎
Ancient alien theorist are into alien 34 thingy (don't ask, neither me want to know).
i like to look at it like this. how much of our technology has grown over the past 40 years. in such a short time we have learned and made amazingly complicated things. and we know very little of the past so whats stopping them for having made such amazing technological progression.
Oh my GOD the Animorphs were my childhood comic books. XD started reading them in the 3rd grade when they first came out. XD As for the alien graffiti artists, I often wonder if the so called "probing" and cattle mutilations, if really done by aliens surely are done by drunken alien fratbois.
Von Danniken is a swiss hotel manager. He made an amusement park full of doctored up evidence, copies of ancient artwork and such, edited in the copying to look like evidence of aliens. But the work is just too new, too clean. It all comes out wrong. It also makes it look like all he cares about is making money off his theory.
Simon what he's saying is that the Orien aliens were present on earth for thousands and thousands of years, long enough that two seperate generations of them did two seperate things. He's not saying the nazis built the lines or some shit like that. Although if they've used radical life extension to invent the bionic ass, (brain blaze reference) it may be the same generation because they figured out how to live that long.
Gaia is not only worse than history channel, its 100% about the paranormal and brainwashing people... ahem I mean persuading people... to believe in the paranormal rather than science. I don't think its a coincidence that a large number of people came to believe in conspiracy theories and disbelieve science at the same time the History channel was doubling down on its ancient alien bullshit. And I bet Gaia is a favorite guilty pleasure among the Q anon crowd.
Aliens being drunk would certainly explain why so many of them crash their spaceships.
2:00 - Wait a minute, why were there British backpackers in Peru ONE THOUSAND years ago?!? The "first decade of the second Millennium" was from 1001 to 1010. What's more, one of them was Simon, so Simon is at least a thousand years old.
Funny how it's never "The ancient Greeks could never have built these huge temples and statues by themselves. It must be aliens."
While I agree that the star alignment theory needs more work the fact that something aligns with Fomalhaut is telling. It's one of the brightest stars in the southern sky and it sits isolated from other stars. The face that ancient civilizations might have attached significance to this star is not a stretch.
Yay! I get to finally watch a video within the first 15 minutes of it being posted!
It could be an alien art installation. Could you imagine all the aliens wandering around the desert with their wine and cheese? 😂
The Universidad Pontifica is a Catholic university...because Peru's state religion is Catholicism. So the academics conducted there are just as viable as in other universities. I was there for a conference, and the place was pretty big, well kept, with some ancient ruins even running through it (though that's also just a part of being located in Lima).
I've been to the Nazca Lines (I did the plane ride and nearly barfed all over them...), and the lines aren't that interesting. More interesting are the mummies you can see in the areas, the expanses of sand dunes, and the way that the Nazca managed their water: making covered tunnels of water with vanishingly small gradients. Nazca today often gets as little as 10 mm of rain in a year, so the fact that such a thriving civilization existed to begin with is a marvel of water engineering.
You have to stop calling these theories “vaguely racists”. I am an anthropologist and archaeologist that has worked in both Central America And Peru, we consider ideas that the native peoples could not have built these monuments as being expressly racist.