American VS Russian Mentality || Russian and American Girls Talking About Their Cultures
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 พ.ค. 2024
- American and Russian cultures are very different. In this video I am as Russian decided to discuss the difference of mentalities with my American friend Sophia to finally find the reasons why Russians and Americans don't understand each other.
We discussed the differences of American and Russian reactions to many situations, as well as the specifics of English and Russian languages. We also spoke honestly about our friendship and the misunderstandings we faced because of our nationalities. I hope after watching this video you guys will have a better understanding of cultures! 🤗
🌟 Sophia's TH-cam Channel - / sophiaclare
Time codes:
00:00 - About us and this video
01:10 - The difference between communication
02:41 - Are Americans too polite?
03:22 - Russians are very direct
05:27 - Are Russians rude?
07:24 - Russians VS Americans making plans
09:38 - American positivity VS Russian pessimism
11:35 - The difference in the problems' perception
13:00 - The difference in visiting friends' homes
14:13 - Propaganda in Russia and the USA
❤ You can support me on Patreon - / daristep
Sophia's Patreon - / sophiaclare
❤ And since PayPal doesn't work for me anymore, you can make donations via www.buymeacoffee.com/daristep
___
My Instagram - / dari__step
#RussiaVSAmerica #RussianMentality #AmericanMentality
Guys, I recently filmed a new video where I discussed the differences between Russian and American universities 🎉 I’m sure you will enjoy it!
th-cam.com/video/QQNwJiM9nps/w-d-xo.htmlsi=DswHq9NTYlUaKYeb
i would say americans are more subversive, ( disguised as polite ) social life in america is dangerous, and people go into this ritualistic subversion, when they meet a new person, out of self preservation .. the population over pressure, of the american capacity, is absolutely maddening....so people learn to tip toe around each other, because no one wants to be approached by someone they don't know.
I think this speaks volumes for Russia's inherent social comfort, a level of social cohesion that could never exist in the United States as it is, to understand that of the directness.
3:50 the american way is the english way ...and everybody knows the english way xD i think russians are more like us greeks..but still a bit colder.
As an American who is an introvert and blunt… I can say I truly appreciate the Russian communication style. I don’t like small talk or false pretenses. I tend to get along well with Russian people I encounter.
А теперь представь каково русскому интроверту в общении с американцами: мне когда то давно пришлось долго преодолевать вгутренние барьеры в общении прежде, чем привыкнуть к такому стилю общения и поведения. Зато теперь не все могут сразу понять экстраверт я или интроверт: я стала гораздо более открыта в общении, чем прежде и заметила, что перестада стесняться улыбаться, когда действительно этого хочется. Почему бы и нет, если у меня хорошее настроение - я не против поделиться своей улыбкой с каждым встречным незнакомцем. Если иду по улице и вижу, что кто то испытывает трудности - легко подойду, спрошу нужна ли помощь и постараюсь помочь.
Однако я все еще стесняюсь своего русского акцента и не так хорошо знаю английсктй, боюсь ошибиться и сказать что то неправильно. Поэтому я очень редко говорю на английском, хотя все пониманию и спокойно смотрю фильмы, читаю книги и слушаю музыку почти не прибегая к помощи переводчика и не заглядыаая в словарь.
Замечательным девушкам, поднявшим столь интересную тему хочу сказать спасибо и поблагодарить, подписавшись на оба Ваших канала.
Молодцы красавицы) Надо преодолевать сложившиемся стериотипы и начинать уже лучше понимать друг друга, хоть и живем на разных сторонах планеты, но все же мы все "в одной лодке" и все мы - люди.
Yeah man small talk and the games are annoying
💯
Me too. That's why I like Russians.
Small talk is an important icebreaker.
The moment, when two girls do more for cultural understanding then governments. Thank you so much! ❤️
These are women.
If the boys in politics were men?
They would speak to these women and to the men in politics and create solutions.
It's got.nothing to do with them being girls. If two old men had said this, would you be putting them.on a pedestal? I doubt it.
THAN, not "then". I think this is the number one mistake of word use on the internet. In fact even journalists and advertisers get then and than wrong.
Everytime individuals do more than government.
It's usually like that though🤷♂️
I like how Russians when they ask how you are, they really want to know the details. In America, it's often used as just a greeting. My Norwegian friend told me I was too nice because I smiled a lot and was polite. She said I wasn't real. But i really am a sincere American when I smile and are polite.
Как можно быть вежливым с человеком, который явно урод и не нравится тебе ? Ты не вежливый, ты лживый, это большая разница
I'm Russian. A few words about politeness. There is a "politeness" part in russian language also and it is the same level of politeness The same information (careful treatment) just passes in a different way: with intonation instead of words. But its there, definitely. The russian politeness expressed with intonation.
For sure!
Also "please" nd "thank you". We believe this 2 is enough) You dont need a fake story to get to a real story in russia😉🤣
Well said. Russian here too. It is the tone more so than words and talks.
I simply think,like was said here,Russians are more direct--and also,it is most likely due to the way the words come out--and not the intent to be rude.Just a different way of speaking,is all.
I’m an American but I’m also autistic and everything described in this video about how Russians are vs Americans makes me wish Americans were more like Russians 😭 I love bluntness. I hate small talk. I hate the fake politeness and beating around the bush instead of just getting straight to the point. The social cues in American culture tend to be confusing to autistic Americans, but the social cues in Russian culture sound like a dream.
It’s a learned skill. I hear you that it would be easier to just get to the point, but that’s a business skill, and even then you still have to learn to navigate the spoken and written methods. Social interactions are much, much harder. But to have a social life, you must break the cage of that barrier. It won’t be easy, and American society never accepted autistics, even though they created modern technologies.
I'm autistic also and I moved to Russian 6 years ago. I have to say that it was the best decision in my life. Since I moved I started to feel really a happy person for the first time in my life. Sorry for my English!
As a Russian I can say that I didn't know I was autistic until once I had a head concussion and had to be examined by professionals because of it.
All autistic people I know, are just talking over any attempt at social cues.
im russian and also autistic we could be friends i can teach you russian for free
I lived in Russia for 8 months, and I found that the "cold on the street" demeanor was exactly as Dari described: present on the surface but _only_ on the surface. The upside to this is that transactional encounters, like at a grocery store or a restaurant, are much, much smoother and less awkward as a result. No small talk. I also found the "no BS" mentality and general realism of the Russian people extremely refreshing.
Yeah. Except because of almost one century of dialectical materialist education, they are irreversibly broken. Because what you call BS talk is actually integral part of social dialog, they having none, they don't understand what democracy is and more importantly, how to use it and how to uphold it.
Basically, they are caveman in matters of social education and evolution and even if you can give a smartphone to a caveman, not understanding the ABC, has no hope to understand how to use it. Other than throwing it at you, as a weapon.
Today Russia is without a question a fascist state and arguably even a nazi one.
In germany things are similar. Germans aswell are described as being "cold". But the upside is that IF you manage to make friends with someone here, it actually means something and you know that this person trusts you and you can trust this person. We also don´t use superlatives like "awesome! amazing!" etc. so often because what does it mean if you use them all the time. I´d rather try to describe things as they are. Still i very much respect the politeness, optimism and positivity of americans.
funny thing is that when it comes to engaging with a person with power/responsibility,
they are completely opposite and not direct at all...
for example: there's no direct criticism of a company manager , team lead, director or a local community politician.
Once they talk to someone with a position of power, Russians will shut up and cover everything with a thick layer of silence and accept the authority of people, even if what they do or say is complete nonsense...
The Germans also have this, albeit in a lesser form (and mostly the older generation)
Compare this with the Danish or Dutch, who will not give a damn at all and start criticizing even the Prime Minister in his face :)
Neither do the British, although they will remain polite in their criticism...
Yet, they buy Putler’s BS.
🇺🇦
As someone who grew up in Japan, this was one of the most difficult things for me to learn: How to respond to others' small talk. I've gotten so good at understanding this that I myself am now often the initiator of said small-talk in order to avoid awkwardness. Ironically, this act itself is quite awkward.
As a Chinese living in Canada, I can totally relate. To some Canadians people, Chinese communication style can be perceived as ‘ no filter ‘ or ‘ rude’ , and to some Chinese people, Canadians can be perceived as’ Bs’ or ‘ fake’ . Thanks for such fascinating video ladies ❤❤
More conversations like this = better understanding of people + less conflict.
This comment is so underrated. These differences aren't a problem in and of itself but not knowing or not understanding them is
Yes and it should apply with every country united we are stronger as a human race
Yes would be nice if we did not have made governments wanting to destroy other countries and if we friends were allowed to fly where we want instead of having banned all flights and closed all barriers. I can't wait to go back to Russia where sanity and culture still reign!
As someone who's lived in both Seattle and Texas, I can 100% confirm that they're basically two different countries within the same country.
Austin is similar to Seattle and Portland, Portland even stole our slogan: Keep Austin weird
The rest is different though.
Thank god. Seattle is a dumpster fire and no amount of rain can fix it
@@michaelmagallanes3501 Next step for Austin is a utter downfall and total collapse.
I spent two months living in America. First month in Seattle and then I moved down to New Orleans.... it was a different planet!
My parents went to the USSR (specifically in Odessa,Ukraine) to study in the 80's and they always tell about the deep friendship they developed with Russians and Ukrainians after "breaking the ice" and the custom of bringing something with you when you go to your friends house. My mother adopted that custom and always says: remember to never go empty handed to someone else's house.
❤❤❤
As a Russian Ukrainian, thanks!
It is extremely rare for me to go to someone's house empty-handed,, and I've grown up in western Canada where it is definitely not the norm or the standard, which honestly I find as odd, I don't remember my parents doing it, no one ever told me this is something that should be done, but I feel downright awkward if I show up to somebody's house empty-handed.
In America it is traditionally customary to not go to someone’s house empty-handed either. The younger generations are just rude.
What if you're poor and can't afford to bring something 🥴😂
I am a born and raised American, but this conversation is making me feel Russian. The gift thing is something you will find done among older Americans.
Yes my mother instilled in me these kinds of old fashioned ways.
at work we needed an engineer to approve of some work we had completed. the engineer was from Russia. he looked so angry and blunt he actually scared the labourers, they were scrambling around trying to fix anything he looked at. the hilarious part was when he came up to me asked a few questions in a gruff angry voice, and then said, 'it all looks very good' and handed me the paperwork we needed to continue. "he isnt angry he is just Russian"
😂
🤣🤣🤣
Very interesting conversation, thanks. I'm an American and I hate it when people say "let's get together" and never follow through or make specific plans and then cancel last minute. To me, I agree with the Russian mentality that when you make plans you should follow through.
That used to be the American mentality too, until cell phones and entitlement culture ruined everyone.
actually what Daria said is part true. Speaking of mentality, generally people feel that they have to do what they said and respect other's time and plans, but you can easily run into people, that would smile at you and tell nice words and promise something, while behind your back they will say other not so nice things and never had an intent to keep a promise or come to appointment. More likely girls would do that without any shame and regrets, there is context and reasons to it, of course, but it is what it is, still. For me, in this, americans and russians are no different.
Americans CAN be very passive-aggressive, especially on the west-coast! I find that a lot more rude than in Russia or France.
It is the fakest act ever. Worse is when two people who have not seen each other in ages hug like they are long lost best friends, and lament about why they never see each other, and how they should get together. That is fine if you want to pretend, but I only say I want to see people I actually plan on seeing, and making plans with.
We used to show up before Cell phone made the ability to passive agressively cancel via text.
As an American who has lived abroad, I do not like flaky or fake communication. I appreciate the assertiveness of the Germanic cultures of Europe and the thoughtful honesty of Asian cultures. I don’t find directness rude at all. I find it refreshing.
Your username is crappy.
@@garymartin9777 I see what you did there.
Yep. Everytime i speak with someone who is native English speaker (German dialect) they tell me that i am rude, while i am just being honest with them.
If you are 100% honest with people in the West, they call you rude, racist and so on.
Thats because most of them are liers and cannot stand the truth in the face.
@@goshu7009 As an American, I wouldn’t say that our style of communication is dishonest, per se. The communication style used by western cultures exists on a spectrum of “justice oriented” communication. Northern Europeans exhibit the most direct form of this with their assertive communication style, but even Americans or Canadians will speak up during a business meeting to correct a mistake (politely, hopefully).
The difference is the delivery. A German may simply say, “That is not correct. The answer is XYZ,” while an American may say, “Mr. Smith, I think you may have misspoken when you said XYZ.” It achieves the same thing, but the style is different.
@@poopymcface9792 O yeah, sure i got this. I have a friend who work in Amazon. We had similar conversation about how to manage people as supervisor. He was explaining the same things as you say.
But i am talking about personal communicatoions.
If i say to the black guy ,black' - the black guys is offended.
The extreme irony of this video is that Daria is being far far more polite throughout about American culture than Sophia is being about Russian culture; Sophia is also straight up politicizing Russian culture, while Daria doesn’t once bring up American politics in her assessment of American culture. This is also a big difference of cultural disposition: Russians generally do not conflate people with their governments, while Americans have a habit of treating foreign cultures as monoliths represented by heads of state alone, or if they don’t like the government, they will characterize the government as representing one thing, and the people as a single homogeneous block representing an entirely other thing; Russians tends to be much more aware of nuances, regardless of whether they were around during the Soviet period or not.
Another thing that isn’t mentioned here but is very much a difference: while you are expected to bring something when you go to a Russian acquaintance’s house, it is also very much a part of Russian culture that when people come to your house, you feed them; in American culture (white American culture specifically), this notion of hospitality is almost completely absent, beyond offering tea/coffee, for example. This is in contrast to the Russian formality that was discussed; basically, Russians seem more distant when you meet them in the street, but the second they have you in their home they will spoil you even if you are a stranger; Americans will make a big show of being nice in public places, but in private, that overcompensation is rarely present, and hospitality conduct comparable to Russian culture is often strictly reserved for members of your nuclear family only… White American moms are 100% sending their kids’ friends home at dinner time 😅 Bluntly, Americans believe that they are entitled to the care and respect of the people around them, but have to earn the respect of strangers, while Russians believe they are entitled to the respect of strangers, but have to prove their love of everyone that enters their private orbit. Americans spend a lot of time and energy on their public reputations and end up taking the private for granted, while Russians take the public for granted and reserve a lot of that energy for the more private sphere. And this is ultimately why Russians end up feeling like Americans are quite rude: the more you get to know Russians, the kinder they will be to you, but the more you get to know Americans, the more entitled they feel to be unkind, oddly.
yeah the american girl in this vid was quite rude, going by my euro standards
@@diedichtung2183 She is from Seattle. They LOVE the smell of their own farts over there.
Your perception is exceptionally accurate. The US girl acts the opposite way she claims to be, so proud and arrogant.
It's also clear that the Russian girl is more traveled and probably better educated than the US girl just by the way both structure and support their ideas. Another plus for the Russian girl is being naturally more feminine in her manners too.
Say it louder for the people in the back!
I agree. The American girl is being condescending while the Russian girl is being way more gracious, albeit direct. The American is just doing it with a smile. This is coming from another American......
The bluntness vs. smiling politeness thing happens within the United States. I grew up near NYC and moved to Maryland, near Washington, DC, in high school. People smiled all the time in Maryland and it took me a while to realize it didn’t mean anything. In NY it was a form of communication: you smiled when you were happy or when you thought something was funny, but a smile was not a default expression. If people smiled constantly in NY, we tended not to trust them, just like the young woman from Russia is describing it.
This is why I love NY and Jersey.❤
I’m from NY state and I’m very blunt
I'm from Texas, and It's a bit mixed for me. Some people I cross paths with while walking, say hello, and I say hello back, other times I say hello, I get no response. For the most part, people say hello or react in an acknowledging way at the very least. "Common courtesy" so to speak perhaps it can be said saying hello back in a way to be on agreement to eachother that we both don't pose a threat...something like that. Plus some of us don't go out much or talk...so it's helpful to say Hi to people.
New Yorkers from the city are often as mean as their language. You can see the difference by just heading two hours upstate. The upstate people are just nicer, its not just a manner of speaking.
I smile and am polite because I'm happy, and I always tell people have a nice day. I like being around happy people. It's a vibe. Not everyone is genuine, but many are. We shouldn't make stereotypes the norm.
I spent some time in Russia and initially had a hard time with how people treated me on the street. However, after spending time with my friend's students (an American teaching English), I gained some important insight. One of his students observed he and I teasing each other and said, "Americans are kind to strangers, but mean to their friends. Russians are mean to strangers, and kind to their friends." This has stayed with me, because I think it's kind of true. The Russians I met and got to know ended up being the most generous, kind-hearted, and amazing people, even though my first impression of them was that they hated me.
У нас, обычных людей нет ненависти по национальному признаку ( по крайней мере у большинства моих сограждан) потому что это глупость, тем более Россия это многонациональное государство, Здесь любой человек может быть в безопасности, найти своё увлечение и жить счастливо.
@@user-zd2ml4hv2y I never felt hated because of my nationality. I just felt that, as a stranger, Russians were not kind to me initially. This is not a criticism. It's only an observation of a cultural difference. I loved my time in Russia and the culture, and I hope that someday I am able to return. :)
@@m.mcmullen1950 я Вас понимаю, конечно приезжайте снова, в России очень много красивых и интересных мест, помимо Москвы и Санкт-Петербурга, хорошим людям везде рады, думаю Вам стоит познакомиться с россиянами чуть ближе, удачи Вам.
@@user-zd2ml4hv2y что насчет расовому вопросу, и или взглядам мировозрения, и или взглядам мировозрения по вере, если атеист, теист и тд, ,и или по ориентации?
American people are no more mean to their friends than russian people are to theirs, believe me. But Americans are gentle and polite to strangers and to their native citizens, whereas russians aren''t.
Fascinating discussion.
American: "Pardon me, but I'd just like to say that you might want to please move your car as I think it it may be blocking my driveway. " Russian: "Move!"
I'm American and have Russian emigree friends. They are very loyal and just great people!
😆
You claim to be an American and make a statement like that In the United States you would be told to move your car immediately and being on America you know what would happen if you didn't move your car
@@TheDarrinmcarter I was generalizing. Obviously we have all kinds of people here but in my experience Russians are often more direct, as the ladies in video were saying. It's not usually rude and I often find it a breath of fresh air.What is your fantasy about someone blocking a driveway in the USA? We pull out our pistols and shoot? LOL!
Actually, it is not what a Russian person would say. They would say Sorry, can You (plural respectful form) move your car - uzvinite mozhete vashy machinu per stavits!
@@rosemcginnis914 those are the polite Russians😁 a lot of others would say ti shto tyt svoe korito postavil or something like that lol
I am an autistic French woman and loved listening to you two this honestly! Thanks! I would love the bluntness in Russia definitely! And had no idea Russia is this way
As an autistic russian, i would say russians are not blunt enough still 😂😂😂 but they (we) are a way more direct than people in many countries. Plus, we have a bonus: eye contact is not demanded in russia, noone actually cares about it
My best friend in college was Russian, and one of my closest friends now is Russian… both sweet, warm, friendly people 😘
Being around Russians made me feel like a mind reader. I knew who liked me, who didnt and who was indifferent. I understand now how they feel that Americans are fake, because we are.
Russians are also more racist and way more homophonic then Americans or Europeans
Except that Russians are also full of cynicism. They will lie directly to your face and be very sincere about it.
Regarding Americans being fake, it's not being fake. It has to do with having such a diverse population. While Russia is more diverse today, and has diversity in the Republics, the overwhelming majority of the culture is "Russian" or "Russian based" because Russification was a government agenda for hundreds of years.
In the US, there was a diversity of culture from the beginning. This carried on because people immigrating to the US would all immigrate to the same areas. So Spaniards would go to one place, Swedes to another, and so on.
So in the US the culture developed to be openly friendly to start off with, as a matter of allowing these different cultures to get along. They're coming from different backgrounds and the level of trust isn't there like it would be in a more homogenous country like Norway or Japan or China.
As for "Fake", Mexicans take that level of outward friendliness even higher. "We should hang out sometime", when said by an American is usually fairly genuine. Coming from a Mexican, it's more like, "We got along well this time, and the idea of doing it again is nice, but I really don't have an intention of creating plans to do this"
So it's culturally incorrect to say these things are "fake" or "right" or "wrong". They're simply different. Cultural relativism matters.
Maybe you are! I will tell you what I think weather you like it or not. If you really don't want to know don't ask.
Speak for yourself. And for The Left.
@@robertanthony9674 whether….not weather. That’s the sky. ☁️ ⛅️
My wife is from Russia, and when she came to Texas and asked me to do something for her and I told her give me a minute, she literally counted 60 seconds, and then she got on to me. 😆 🤣 😂 I told her in Texas a minute can be 5 min or 10, maybe more.
😂😂😂
😂😂😂 60 seconds.
You must have a lot of problems with sharing toilets there in Texas
That’s hilarious 😂 🤣 😂
thats so funny hahaha
It is funny that the american was so critical of her russian friend for being rude when she was so passive aggressive. I felt the russian was much more polite than the american. As an american I can read her true context, I need to re-evaluate how i preceive russians. thanks for the food for thought! :)
I agree, i hated the passive aggressiveness. To me… the American girl is NOT the Russian girl’s friend. Russian girl was so humble and respectful, American was rude asf. I don’t se enough people talking about it. The fake niceness of Americans has a name, HYPOCRISY. Such an embarrassment…
Если я встречу тебя и почувствую что ты меня хочешь обмануть, то я не буду вежлив с тобой. Это называется - ПРЯМОТА и ЧЕСТНОСТЬ. Это в тысячу раз лучше чем вежливость и фальшивость. Бог тебя не направит в Рай за то что ты вежливый и фальшивый, нужно быть тем кто ты есть
What an excellent exchange.! Thank you both for that.! I'm looking forward to more of your interactions.
As an American with Russian friends, I have never felt they were rude with me and they were always very polite. I will say however they are not rude but I would say more reserved when first meet them but when they get to know you more they are actually more genuine and warm than some Americans I know. and would literally give you the shirts off their own backs if you needed it. So, it's different maybe in Russia as all my Russian friends are in America . I too am very disappointed that a lot of film displays Russians as villans. It's not accurate and should change.
Tell it to Hollywood
It’s never going to happen because Russia IS a villain to the US and its allies.
It always was, since WW2 (and even before that.)
Take a look where we ended up, currently!
It was just a matter of time.
We got too greedy with land grab (as far as NATO) and got way too close to Russia, in hopes of weakening and surrounding the superpower country.
We’re doing the same with China as well.
NOT going to happen! Whether you like it or not.
It’s just sad that so many human lives are being lost, unnecessarily.
I'm American and agree that people tend to break their plans and commitments and it drives me CRAZY! I agree that when you make plans with someone you should make every effort to fulfill them.
it's easier for Americans to break commitments now with cell phones. they can text you last minute lol.
😂
I started burning those bridges about 6-7 years ago and people know now to follow through or GTFO my life. lol. I'm better off without flakes in my life and I'm happier for it.
have to agree. From my life experience here in the us, people are generally more impulsive, cancel plans, and then the opposite may happen, a friend will just call out of nowhere (no plans) and talk me into going camping that night or something like that.
This is definitely a post-smart phone thing. People used to flake out a lot less after making definitive plans.
A well-deserved "like" to this video! Your idea to show to people how to discuss your differences is wonderful, so important nowadays! Way to go, girls! Какие вы молодцы, девушки!
I’m not Russian, I’m a Finn, but people seem to have a similar experience with the bluntness and ”hard” exterior when it comes to us. Nice video btw :)
Same, and I am from Amsterdam.
To me as a German Anglo-Saxon politeness feels like a false front. Let's begin with the first words when two people meet: They all feel perfectly fine even though it might not be true. Germans are the complete opposite. The question "How are you?" can easily trigger a longer description of the other person's health and private problems which is very rare, too.
Agreed. As a Dutch person when I ask the question: “ How are you?” I actually await a sincere answer.
However this question asked to Americans usually evokes a response that sounds as not truthful. Especially the exaggeration is very annoying. I don’t appreciate that
@@Pilot333 I love this and have been doing this for years now even though I'm Canadian. I love that you actually care because most people here just expect you to say you are great even if you're terrible. It's very fake and off putting even to me, but I am on the spectrum and am much more direct and sincere so I really appreciate this mannerism 🤍
i'm russian and if someone closer than a stranger asks me "how are you" i'll definitely tell them all about my problems and end this with "but i'm fine"
Yeah, I had it the same at work, I am Slovak and I work with Englishmen a lot.
They would ask me how I am, I would stop by and talk and they actually would talk back but I watched them making weird faces while doing so.
At some point I asked them, when you ask me how I am, you don't really care for the response right? Is it just a formal phrase? They said - yes.
This is totally different in our cultures, when someone in Slovakia doesn't care he doesn't ask and when one asks how you are that's because he wants to hear more from you, even personal stuff but it's always up to you, how much you want to say, you can say I am good or I am not very well today and that's it.
But for a person who doesn't understand this English culture it may seem very rude, it's like showing interest but not really meaning it.
On the other hand now when I know how it is, I can imagine that for the Englishmen it's also unpleasant when they just try to be polite using their standard and then they need to listen to something that they don't care for...
Then I experienced the other extreme when I worked with Italians and they asked me to kiss them or hug them to welcome them properly. That was quite weird for me and I refused then they were shocked and thought something is not right between us, so I had to explain them I hugged my own brother 3 times in my lifetime and we had to be drunk and that I kiss only my girlfriend.
@@Pilot333 “how are you” is just a greeting. You’re just expected to say you’re good and move on. No one actually cares how you really are unless they are friends
I'm an American, and I've lived in foreign countries as well. About the issue of making plans, I completely agree with the Russian girl. I've found fellow Americans to be very phony sometimes when making plans. Not all the time, but often enough. The same thing happened to a German person who was home-staying at our home near Chicago a number of years ago. He told me that Americans would tell him that they would call him to spend time together, then never would. Germans are also very diligent and serious people, so he probably felt confused and disappointed. Americans aren't the only people that do this, but I agree with the Russian girl's comment about this issue.
You're an American...From what country?
What I've found interesting is that I didn't notice this pattern until the last 5 years or so. Maybe it's that the older we get, the less inclined we are to "go out" but we still hold that self image of being "fun." Thus, it's almost instinctual to say "yeah, let's go out!" but then reality hits that it wouldn't be that much fun, having to catch up with all the tasks we delayed, only compounding when taking care of children. I more or less grew up in Germany, so I think my cultural mannerisms are a bit different than most Americans as I never suggest non-committal meet-ups.
@@gringoenespanol I think he meant county instead of country..
Have you been to Mexico? Mexicans take that plan making thing even further.
And it's not "phony". You're conflating social mores with morals, and pushing a level of literalism that doesn't exist.
When Americans say these things, they're basically figures of speech. They're polite ways of saying, "I enjoyed meeting you."
When an American says, "We should hang out sometime" it means "If we speak again and if things continue to go well for both of us, we should consider making plans, but I have no plans of making them concrete at this point" or "the idea is nice in a perfect world." And usually as an American, you'll know when it's (as you say) "fake".
When a Mexican says (the equivalent of), "We should hang out sometime" it means "It was nice seeing you and things weren't bad, but I don't have any plans of seeing you again unless we run in to one another by chance."
Neither one is negative. They're simply ways to navigate society and they developed organically for a reason.
@@thysonsacclaim why have a language at all if you mean the opposite of what you say
❤ A big shout out to all my friends from Russia 🇷🇺 and 🇺🇸 USA 🎉
This was a fascinating discussion. Thank you for sharing it 👍
Very true. I worked with Russians day by day when I was a computer tech many years ago. Many had just come over. Some were from Ukraine and Moldova, but they were all from the Soviet era and spoke Russian. At first, they didn't even say Good Morning. It was a great shock for both groups of Americans and Russians to work together literally overnight. But, as time went by, tensions eased, everyone became warmer and friendlier. We worked together so we had to get along, and we did. A great learning experience. For example, January 1st and celebrating the end of "The Great Patriotic War" were very important to them.
Right, these are the main holidays in Russia
I lived and worked in St. Petersburg, Russia for five years, and have lived outside of the United States, in a wide variety of countries, for over twenty years. These young ladies have made some accuarte and useful observations. Every culture is distinctly different, and each has its own culture, history, and ways of doing things.This, for me, is one of the most fascinating and enjoyable part of travelling. The diversity of the nations of this planet is one of our greatest strengths. Sadly, far too many people are afraid of, ignorant of, or suspicious of, these differences, and for no good reason than the propoganda and sterotypes that are spoon-fed to us from birth. Any peron or nation who believes that their way os the only way needs to reexamine not only their own values, but their role in the universe. You are one amongst billions; you are not so special. The most valuable thing that we can do is to have honest discussions like the one that you are listening to here. Our world leaders could take a lesson here.
Love your words of wisdom!
Great observation!
Very well put! I'm an American who lived for years all over South Asia and Western Europe. We're all humans. Pretty much the same! I look to the differences as pluses to add to my experience and enjoyment of life.
" could " will they ?
This was very much needed!!
It's hard to keep an open mind when two Empires collide.
Yet this is just two people sitting down having an honest conversation. At the end of the day, we're all just humans, standing on a rock flying through space, around a big ball of gas.
Крутейшее видео, однозначный лайк. Классно, что София искренне рассказывала про свои впечатления. Получить искреннее мнение об оценке себя или чего-либо еще от американца - это подвиг! Особенно понравилось, что после всех ваших стараний, Дарья, для американцев вы все равно можете показаться quite rude)) И никакие обороты типа could you please уже не помогут) Американская культура общения предполагает, что даже завернутая в несколько слоев вежливых оборотов и извинений критика в сфере услуг все равно воспримется, как ужасное оскорбление. Тут уже ничего не поделаешь, это ни хорошо, ни плохо. Интересно, какие мы все таки разные люди)
I’m Mexican, and I was in Moscow for the past six months. I felt really identified with this video, cultural clash was such a real thing but it was enjoyable to try and understand how Russians communicate and all their culture. Amazing video!
Thank you!
Yeah you can never trust a mexican with what he say. General Latin culture words have no meaning always late too,
Imagine in 2022 two people from different cultures discussing similarities and differences with respect and interest for each others culture and country ... Вселяет в меня надежду, что здравомыслящие люди снова смогут решить судьбу всех нас. 🙂
True 🤞🏼
Здравомыслящие люди ничего не должны делать за нас. Мы должны становиться здравомыслящими и решать проблемы диалогом.
@@dmytroovchynnikov4724 россияне никогда этого не поймут потому что они рабы
I am a Citizen of Finland 🇫🇮 and I understand our Russian ideological mindset and I'm proud to help contribute maintain the good neighborly friendship with our big brother Russia. Being friends and understanding each other is the best coexistence .
NATO 😂
@@AlaskaAlaska-yv6vo Nato👎not wanted in Finland.
@@vm6418 😂😂😂😂😂😂 NATO and Finland ❤️😳
@@vm6418 Finland once defeated Russia 😳 Finland ❤️❤️❤️ love 💟
@@AlaskaAlaska-yv6vohaha defeated Russia? By loosing your land to Russia? I think you won a battle not defeated Russia if you know your history! It’s not very practical being a sore looser you, makes you look bad
It is so lovely that we, as human beings, are able to sit and share beyond political madness. I’ve met some Russians as well as people from all around the world and I think we should move from tolerance to understanding.
Greetings from México.
So true!
No healthy minded human being want any of what is going on in our world but as long as ego and greed reign not much will change
I'm from Russia, and I've talked to many people from the US and other English speaking countries, and multiple times they had told me that I was being mean when I thought that I was nice lol
so yeah, it's just the difference in mentalities, but now I'll try my best not to seem rude 🥲
I feel you!!!
I feel it could be really difficult to be more nice then you are and spends TOO MUCH energy... I speak as direct as possible just because I'm too tired of any kinds of formalities...
I would love to see more videos like these !!! Thank you both :)
Canceling on plans, or being non-committal, is a modern American trait. This is across our culture but is a recent phenomenon, starkly escalated by technology, such as the internet, cell phones, social media, texting. Back when you only had home phones and snail mail, being consistent, responsive, and punctual was a must.
My mother did not learn to speak English until about 11 years or so. Her first language is Finnish, another brutally to point direct language. She came off as being very rude sometimes even though what she was saying was the truth. She once told a neighbor lady, (in Sacramento Cal.) "the only problem that you have is your alcoholic husband". This hurt the woman's feelings although it was true. I later told my mom that she had been very rude, even cruel, to the woman and that she could of use other words that were not so hurtful. My mom just looked at me not comprehending and said "but it is true"! yes mom, but............she never understood.
Люблю финнов))
Funny story 😅
@@Alexandra-pt5iu а они русских не любят
Я русский и скажу что это норма, но только если ты намеренно хочешь кого-то оскорбить.
Tell you mom "Vara"
I have to say, as an American, I prefer the Russian style of communication. I am more direct than most American's and it sometimes gets me in trouble 😆
As someone born in Russia (and there for 5 years) but grew up in America, I can very much relate. Most, if not all, of my college friends tell me that I approach situations very directly and bluntly. I'm not afraid to speak my mind, tell the truth, and I get very annoyed when I set up a meeting with someone and they cancel. All this to say, I am 100% an American citizen with an American upbringing. I can't speak Russian and I don't have an accent. However, some of that Russian background shines through from time to time
Some people are more direct then others just by their nature. Aries are often direct...
Thank you! Very educational! 😊👍❤️
Very well done ladies! I have been working as a Part time helicopter test pilot for a Ukrainian company since 2014, I worked with many Russian engineers during my many stays in Kiev and had the opportunity to travel into the far east of Ukraine where many ethnic Russians live and was I surprised! being polite was too much for some of my co workers, they told me of old Russian saying.
" I would rather have Bitter words of truth, than Many sweet words witch are lies" Well folks that says it all!
True! We really say so!
So, who's 'lying'? You? I'm confused by this. Why would they accuse you of lying? That's damn rude.
If you lie to avoid the issue. You care nothing about the person or fixing the issue. It prolongs the pain. If you say the bitter truth, the person has a chance to realize the problem and fix it. It is kinder and shows more care for the person.
@@JLC48 Would you rather have a friend who told you the truth even if you're uncomfortable with it?
Or would you rather a fake friend who smiles in your face and always lies to you?
Thank you so much for making this video! I recently started seeing a Russian woman and that initial period of becoming acclimated was such a strange experience. I thought, "Oh, she doesn't like me AT ALL!" Then the very next day I complimented her and she said, "It seems to me that you are too perfect." Texting with her is something I'm still getting used to (we can't really have a verbal conversation because her English leaves much to be desired, and my Russian is even worse, as much as I adore learning the language.) We Americans text even less directly than we speak, typically. I have turned my humor up to 11 for the past month and have gotten 2 "hahas" total. I think one of the benefits, in my mind, is that when she told me that she likes me, I know that she is genuine. So that's nice.
I'm from Massachusetts. No one here is over friendly or always smiling. New England is different from the rest of America for sure. We're known for being direct and rude, or so it appears to outsiders. I like being direct myself because being insincere is a waste of both time and breath. My Russian friends tell me that I'm more Russian in that way than American. Interesting.
Yes, this is true. I'm originally from Texas who lives in Massachusetts. People in the New England are harder to get to know compared to people in southern, mid-west, or west coast USA. But, sometimes I like the bluntness of my New England friends.
What a good conversation. In all likelihood in general most of biases in both directions are based on habits and cultural aspects of a big chunk of population that are rooted in legacy brought by ancestors. Nowadays nothing can prevent people to become more educated more polite more civilized then ever no matter where they live. Thanks to Internet. Curiosity and patience are definitely going to carry us through the process of interaction with each other what's going to make our relationship stronger I hope. You guys are awesome. Hats off. 😊
I’m ethically Russian, but I lived in United States for quite some time, so I understand both cultures. We can learn from each other and become better people by taking best from our cultures.
Best comment so far
Yes, in the end we are al humans and should try and look out for each other as family members of some sort as opposed to looking for differences and assumption of negative motivations. I believe that we are on cusp of a big change where there will be much higher availability of food and money so that we as humans will not need to be afraid of another group taking from a differing particular group.
The world needs more of this. Great video!
Thanks 😃
@@DariStep meowk
@@DariStep I have a real problem with my Ukrainian wife offending my English mother ))))
This is very much true. Good job!
this is so true. Excellent analysis.
canceling plans like that is a west coast thing. You'd never do that in the south.
It was very interesting to hear your perspectives! When I was going to the US, other Russians warned me that when American people say each other “let’s hang out sometimes” but they I say it out of politeness and in fact nobody will message it other. But for me it wasn’t a problem, it’s a convenient and polite way to end a conversation, and I know that if we are mutually interested in each other, we will meet one more time, and be both have to make moves to it. But regarding that situation with American girls and your trip - yes, it was inappropriate in that context and a mistake on their part.
I also noticed how easier it’s to start a conversation, for example on campus - you can just compliment somebody’s pin on a backpack and here you’re discussing something and getting acquainted which can lead to friendship. This is what surprised me compared to Russia.
And after returning from the US to Russia I experienced the reverse cultural shock and can relate to what Sophie is saying. People seemed so rude to me, a man was standing in a supermarket line so close to me, and it’s funny how in my first days in Russia it still surprised me. And our language can indeed sound too direct when literally translated to English. But anyway, after you get to know to people and thief culture more, it comes more natural for you. Communication is the key.
Thank you for your comment Natasha 😃 I totally agree with the point that it’s easier to start a conversation with the American 🇺🇸 Also, after returning from Austria I was had a cultural shock ahahah I can feel you!
Not all people are the same. If I say I want to hang out....I mean it. I guess Australians might be different from Americans. We mean what we say here or it's considered rude.
@Natasha The Royalty is here :) Great to see you )
I'm a subscriber of yours Natasha and today I subscribed to Dari's channel because I fully support Russian people that get out of Russia and respect Russian people who stay and resist Russian oppression however the vast majority of the Russian people probably 75 to 85% support the so called "special operation" and I'm sure that these people will carry the responsibility of this forever. This will not end even if everything stopped today and no responsible person in the world or corporations will ever trust Russia again. It is sad to see so many people be robed of their future and be so unaware of the fact. Слава Україні!
@@horatio1962 I agree with you. You said the quiet part out loud, but sadly your assessment that 75-85% of Russians support Putin’s “special operation” appears to be spot-on. It is very disheartening to read the comments by “useful idiots” and apologists for Putin here on this channel and elsewhere who claim to know what Putin wants or who claim he merely is after this or that geostrategic objective, when all they’re really doing is projecting their own biases. The reality, unfortunately, is that there seems to be a dark side to Russian national identity that is imbued by a false sense of victimhood coupled with an almost fanatical belief that it alone has a mission to save the world from the West’s depraved “fascist” tendencies, which only a “strong” leader can help it achieve. If it were otherwise, Putin’s use of war to consolidate his power - first with his war against Chechnya in 2000, then with his invasion of Georgia in 2008, then with his invasion of Crimea in 2014, and continuing with his eight-year war to control Donbas and now all of Ukraine - never would have been possible. We have seen this dynamic play out elsewhere in the last century, most notably in the fascist dictatorships of Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan, where people gave unconditional loyalty to dictators whose genocide and war crimes they overlooked in exchange for promises of glory to come, until eventually it all backfired on them and brought them economic ruin, destruction and death in its wake. I feel incredibly sorry for those Russians like Dari, Natasha and others who acknowledge what’s happening and who grieve for the suffering of the people in Ukraine but feel powerless to stop it. However, the footage I saw from recent “Victory Day” celebrations across Russia convinced me that most Russians are either indifferent to what’s happening or actively support it. Just as in those other countries I mentioned, it seems nothing will change in Russia until the Russian people themselves truly begin to feel the pain that their leaders have caused. Слава Україні!
I visited Russia as a child with my parents and my dad told me not to smile at people, especially on the metro (Moscow's subway system). It was so difficult as an American! I smile all the time! 😅
Also! I had a Russian coworker a few years ago that walked up to me while I was on a phone call just to tell me that my new hair color looked awful on me. Lol I was so shocked, but she was right! 😂
Я уверен, что это было "ну пиздец ты покрасился".
Кстати, это была не критика.
А просто ты пиздец как покрасился )))
😆 well, yes, in Russia, if a person constantly smiles at strangers, this is a sign of crazy...
We, of course, smile and laugh a lot, all that remains is to gain trust and make friends.
As a russian/Latvian mixed blood from Latvia, living in UK, I enjoy coming back home for a holiday and smiling at everyone as if I am in UK. It's hilarious. They are either unsettled by a simple smile or they suddenly lit up and shyly smile back and it's amazing to see a gloomy Latvian / Slavic person break that moody mask
That's really sweet:D sounds funny too
Brave of you to do that to strangers!
@Daathielso edgy
As an Italian I feel somewhere in between... we are more direct than most Anglo-Saxon societies but we tend to "sweeten the pillow" and choose words carefully trying not to offend anybody.
If an Italian chooses his words scrupulously and talks a lot by the end of the day, his hands will hurt a lot! Greetings from Russia)))
A most interesting share of cultural differences. In Russia I missed the reassuring smile that Americans sometimes share to communicate that everything is OK. It can be quite uplifting on bad days. When I smiled at pretty girls there, they often assumed I was flirting. I was not. On the flip side I appreciated the direct and efficient communication, and the unabashed sincerity of most of the Russians I met. Understanding the cultural difference will improve relations in general. Thank you for this shoot.
I recently became friends with a girl who moved to the US from Moscow, and though she doesn't speak fluent English yet she's been able to explain to me some things that are different between Russia and the US. It's fascinating.
I am Russian and when I lived in France , I got used to smiles of strangers for no reason but as soon as I entered Slovenia it seemed that people were so mean and cold to me. after some time I realise that's the way how Europeans/Americans see Russians lol
ps Slovenian people are as well too kind and nice as soon as you get to know them better :)
So how do you get to know each other if it starts out with cold indifference? Honest question.
@@coffeenottea one of the ways is to have more deep and sincere communication at the beginning, not that much of small talks. No fake or polite smiles or promises. The interest is demonstrated discreetly and not due to the norms of behaviour. It's just my experience :) of course it depends on people and regions.
I understood that I would rather be shouted at by a stranger sincerely than getting a fake smile and shown fake interest. Seemed sort of gazlighting, imho
Though I do think we should exchange some principles of communication to get better at relationships, not just ignore or critises each other's ways
В Словении тоже не улыбаются? В Финляндии тоже
Very nicely explained, it is sad we differ in many ways but the cultures and languages are extraordinary especially the folklore, meaning: Dress attire, music, dances, songs, etc…
As a New Yorker married into a Soviet family, we all actually understand eachother really well. Maybe that just says a lot about being a New Yorker lol. The plan thing is also something as a New Yorker I noticed transplants do a lot. I think it has to do with driving culture. In NY at least people respect the time and effort it takes to get anywhere on public transit so we don't cancel last minute.
A Russian sounds like a New Yorker or Bostonian. I'm from CT, so my manners fall somewhere between NYC and Boston. We are not as hospitable as the southerners, and not chill like the west coast folks, and not warm like the mid-west. We are not patriotic as the Carolinas or Maine,.and we are not religious like the Bible belt. We like to think we are educated but I've seen otherwise, aha.
I loved your discussion (Sophia and Dari) and Natasha's input. You all are very in touch and sensitive of cultural nuances. Your discussion is how Americans used to compromise with each other. But today, our media likes to paint U.S. and Russia as enemies and U.S. political parties can no longer compromise.
Growing up, Russia was a mystery country to me, and I never even thought about stepping foot on her soil for fear that I would be imprisoned and my family will never hear from me again. Also, back then U.S. and Russia were the two superpowers of the world; we had stockpiled so many nuclear weapons to destroy each other several times over. In retrospect, our thinking was very stereotypical and simplistic, but we had no Russian friends and no social media or internet to counter what we learned from the media. Your Russian youtube group has done more to teach me about the real Russia than I would have ever discovered on my own! I am in debt to you and your colleagues for teaching all I know about Russia! < 3 And guys, my word is my bond. If I ever say I will do something, I'll make a true effort at great cost!
Hey Chinh! Thank you so much for your comment and also for sharing your culture ✨I’m happy to hear that my videos help you to understand Russia 🇷🇺
Ох, Даша, спасибо вам за доброе видео ❤️ приятно видеть, что простые люди остаются в коннекте, отметая весь негатив прочь)
I would definitely want to date the Russian Girl; much more warm heartedness! Take care.
Хорошая тема для видео! Делайте еще :)
I loved this video! I live about a 4 hour drive south of where Sophia grew up. There are a lot of Russian immigrants in my area. I always like the Russians, and finally figured out it takes time to be able to get really friendly with them. But, once you do, they are great friends! Thank you, and have a great week!!
Thank you for your comment, Alan!
Hey I know this place! Sounds like Woodburn, Oregon to me.
I'm located in Monmouth. 😆
@@austinanderson8734 I live in Vancouver, WA these days.
@@DariStep Lots of Russian Old Believers in Oregon and Russian is the 3rd most spoken language here.
@@GrimLordofOregon If you’re talking of more recent immigration, it’s mostly Ukrainian Protestants.
Fascinating. Cultures are not right or wrong, they just are. It's polite to devote some time and energy to understand a culture that's different. Polite and downright smart.
I'm an 81 year old British man and I regularly talk to a teenage Russian girl as she wants to practice her English. Her accent is faultless and she comes across like any other teenagers I've met. She expresses the same feelings about everything that my own kids did. I don't see any huge fundamental differences. As a resident of Prague I also have Russian friends and again can find no huge differences or any problem communicating with them.
Great video, I wish you would have another video where you only say positive things about each other's countries. This I believe, God loves individuals of each nationality equally. You're both lovely, intelligent young ladies. Thanks for taking the time to make this.
For me the superficial small talk really is a chore, and I often ask myself why I have to do it just because someone else that I haven’t met before/not in any kind of relationship with likes to do it. I’ve also known too many people who will be very good at the superficial niceness and then just gossip behind my back about whatever I tell them.
Russians being more direct may SEEM rude to some Americans, but it is not meant to be rude. Interpreting directness as rudeness is just the interpretation of the American. I'm American and I think being direct is refreshing because of the honesty. There are so many Americans who get the completely wrong idea about another American person because they don't ask what they would think to be "rude" questions, but because of that they will then make negative assumptions about that person that are often inaccurate.
agreed. Marican girl total BS. I feel it is more like honesty vs pretending rather than politeness . You can be friend with an american for years only hearing positive comments, being nice and polite, but when you invested years of friendship just to find out the person doesnt like you . Damn why didnt you tell me 2 y ago. AH I am polite >D Kiss my *ss. I prefer a direct behavior even if it is tough to swallow because at least I know where we are without wasting time.
As an American but a noted Russophile myself, I admire the frankness of Russian culture. I’m essentially autistic so I also tend to be very blunt and I will tell people exactly what I think no matter what. It’s just the way I am. It’s better than the typical American thing of just lying to people all the time and putting on a show for everyone and being incredibly disingenuous and pretentious with what you say and do because you think it’s “polite.” It’s not politeness, it’s theater and it’s annoying.
If you know to look ahead, and you're on the correct side of critical thinking, it means the world.
I can testify that scandinavian languages also can be interpreted as rude from my french perspective but they are not meant to be, that’s just how it is!
I think the risk of coming across as "rude" during speech, is much less rude than *behaving* rude, when you pretend you want to meet up with someone, then don't bother to return their texts as soon as you get back to the hotel. This is a serious problem in the American fake culture and took me almost 2 decades of living here to understand. The culture here encourages naïve optimism.
Such a lovely video and chat!
As an Eastern European, I relate to almost everything Dasha said. As someone who has been living in one Anglo-Saxon country, I have tied to bland in, but I eventually gave up.
No matter how hard I tried to be part of the Western culture, I always felt like a big pretender. And unsuccessful and unaccepted one.
Yes,I like and I appreciate smily,friendly approach of Westerners, and I give them credit for it, but the unsencerity and cannanyingnes behind that smile is something that I will never understand, accept and justify. Ever.
In Slavic culture, if you say something and if you promise something, you have to mean it. You have to keep your word.
Of course that some people don't do it, but they are considered bad, immoral, untrustworthy, bad characters.
We also don't appreciate small talk if it is unnecessary. Meaning that you don't need to greet someone that you just meet by chance, and he will most probably not stay in your life. Should he say there are going to be opportunities to bring relationship on the next level.
Either way, I have learned that even in the multi racial and multi national countries, the ONLY decent way is considered English manners.
The rest of the world behavior is called savage and that is not OK. ( Here we go, I said it directly !!! I said what every Anglo-Saxon person thinks but would never admit it).😂
Well you do have one thing right. You don't actually understand our smiles. It's not a lie. It's a greeting. And we do mean it. If I hold the door open for you, smile, or ask "how are you", it is not a trap. That is how we think we should treat other people
@@RatherCrunchyMuffin you do that because you think it is polite to do so, not because you are genuinely interested in the person's day or if they are really alright. You see, in Slavic culture, when we ask 'how are you' we genuinely mean if you are ok. That is when we open up and start talking about our problems. Westerners would just say "All good thanks!" which is unhealthy fakery.
@@aleksandrapetrovic774I'm Canadian but my father's family is Slavic. Although I'm not American I believe a lot of these points apply to Canada as much, or even more so, than the US. We also instinctively ask people how they are, or apologize out of habit (that's kinda what Canada is known for lol). My mannerisms are Canadian because I was raised here, while my family members who were born in Eastern Europe communicate very differently. That contrast doesn't bother me personally, but I can understand your point. The meaning of our (Canadian/American) politeness varies depending on the social situation. There are times when we will smile and ask our friends or family how they are. That's a genuine question and we care about their answer. There are other times when we do the same thing but we're speaking to someone we aren't as close to... maybe a coworker or a casual acquaintance. Then "Hi, how are you?" is really just a polite greeting. In that case neither person is expected to share much about their feelings, and doing so can actually be awkward. It's not that we're being insincere, it's just social convention. People who were raised here implicitly know the difference but it can be tricky for others to get used to. I should add that this isn't just an issue with English. My mother's family French and we do the same thing, although I'm not sure if it's the same in France as it is in Quebec.
What you wrote is bullshit. Lying and cheating is far more common outside North Western Europe and Japan. Maybe you really cannot believe people can be so nice in some societies and your mind cooks up ulterior motives.
I think slavic attitude is interesting. when people say they dont smile its not true. when i was in russia i've had strangers smile at me for no reason. maybe because they knew i was american. but there are many differences also, like sometimes russians become introverted and not talk or smile at all. even among a family. Like its connected to mood. thats why i think that to say russians aren't friendly or don't smile is not true, it's just that they allow moods to be expressed. So if they aren't feeling good they will just not smile or say anything. but it doesn't mean they won't be friendly for no reason also, if they are in that mood. The russian range of emotion is extreme, they are either the most friendly people or the most rude. Although i suppose it's only rude from and American point of view since they are just free in expression. Personally I like it, although it still makes me uncomfortable. Because Russians will like you and yet still say the harshest stuff you ever heard to your face. It's really confusing
Polite language: There is a story about Richard Feynman. He was scheduled to go to Japan for a series of lectures, so he started to study the Japanese language, hoping to learn enough to get around without a translator. But when his lesson got to "I am sorry I dropped my plate" the translation baffled him. Basically, it was "I am so sorry I deliberately tried to hurt you by throwing my plate full of food on the floor." However, then he heard the translation of "You dropped the plate" which was "Sincere apologies that that plate jumped out of your hand to offend you by the embarrassment of such a mess." He could not find any sense in a language that embodied such logic, so he quit trying to learn Japanese.
That kind of speech sounds nice actually, it’s kind of joking. Maybe like when somebody farts and blames it on the little pink elephant in the room or the Japanese barking spider.
Yes, people tend to forget that a language is not only words, but a whole mind set. For example I'm from latin america, and foreign people seem to don't understand how we tend to be "always late", and preffer family and friends over work, they see this a "lazy" behaviour, contrary to american, asian or european standards. However, is just a different set of priorities, we see no resson to get stressed out beyond need, in our land our ancestors had plentty of fruit and resources at hand, the weather tends to be warm, so the we generally lacked the need to force the land produce (like others did in the cold and arid places of the north), thats why anyone will tell you that we come out as pretty warm and happy people. As the girls in the video said, there are regional differences, and modern city life and economy have changed a lot of things, people is more serius and rude in the cities, but we still have that underlying character inside us.
Ah, and forgot to poit out that all this is reflected in the way we talk, when a friend says "see you at 10", you know youll might have to wait till 10:30 and no explanation of "why is he late" will be given, that is just the way we area and talk.
🤣🤣
Fuking hilarious
I love how you both were able to just lay it all out on the table and not worry about hurting each others feelings, you can tell I'm American right? Seriously tho, as much as it seemed like water and oil trying to mix together it came across perfectly. I wish politics would stay out of it and all the countries on this beautiful planet could work together in harmony. Thank you both for doing this, especially in this time. We need to be reminded that the average working class Russian are not terrible people. Although, I'll keep smiling all the time and you should too Dari because we both have beautiful smiles! Take care.
It's very interesting to see two people with different backgrounds talking. I live in a northern Russian town so there aren't any foreigner or any guests from anywhere really, so I really want to travel someday to talk to different people
Well...this is refreshing!
My parents are Russian. I am Russian by blood. However, born and raised in the United States. I hope that one day we can put our differences aside and live in peace. 🇷🇺❤️🇺🇸
@SoBr189, Wouldn't it be great if Russia and the USA were at peace with each other, and if we were friends and allies instead of being enemies? Can you imagine the good both countries could do for each other and the rest of the world if we were cooperating together as friends?
@@4321grpAgree. There is no reason for us to be at odds. I am for world peace. I have friends from the USA and they are nice and cool. Politicians have big feuds, but usually people don't need it
👌🙂🍀🖖👋
There are no differences
Us never learnt to respect others or their interests but have always pushed to bent others ti tjeir way of perception all that matters is basic respect and peace
Great discussion and very much needed, especially now. We are all brothers and sisters who happen to live in another location. The thought of killing each other is just unacceptable.
Абсолютно согласен с вами.
I have been living in Canada for 23 years, and both US Americans and Canadians are similar regarding the “smile phenomenon” although, Canadians are softer spoken. I’ve found Americans a lot more arrogant in their speech and conversations.
Sophia describes Russians and their behavior perceived as blunt and rude but from the tone of her voice I hear a somewhat slight superiority over Dari. I was listening to this video lying down on the sofa with my eyes closed. If I was to decide which of those two I’d go to chat at a cup of tea, I’d definitely choose Dari. Her soft mother tangue accent sounds unpretence and very welcoming to my ears. Dari takes the cultural criticism from Sophia with a soft flowy ease but when Dari addresses something culturally not acceptable from Americans to Russians, Sophia’s answer to it is “just a bad luck” and nervously giggles. Americans rely a lot on the first sight impression and smile is essential to proceed with it. However, if they don’t include authenticity and honesty in their smile, which they so often don’t, they come up as a polite fake. It doesn’t take much to recognize a genuine smile from the fake one. The whole facial mimics change, the corners of the mouth, the cheek and brow muscles, the look coming from their eyes.
Another thing is confusing pessimism with pragmatism. Expressing seriousness, neutrality and straightforwardness does not equal pessimism. If the Russians were pessimistic in general, they would have never won the second world war. 😉
And the ukranian conflict as well...or better say...SMO😎
Now....this youtube will want to censure me..hahaha🥱
You both girls are so cute and shining) thanks for this video❤
As a Canadian married to an American , I find many Americans superficially friendly. We took a 3 week your of Russia a few years ago and found most Russians gracious and accommodating. Perhaps this was because both Canadians and Russians live in a cold northern climate.
Maybe you're on to something because people in the American south are the most superficially friendly
@@justinfilipovic8939 My wife and her family are from Chicago and Philly not the South. I think people who live in Northern Climates are more reserved and so find the openness of the people who live in the South somewhat superficial. This is not a hard rule as the Inuit who live in the far north can be very friendly
@@justinfilipovic8939 what are on about? I’m from the south and I recently moved to the west cost and people are so much more superficial than in the south. Most “country” people I know don’t care if the truth hurts your feelings.
I think it has more to do with history of the people, although both go hand in hand. Places with more poverty and dark history usually aren’t as “fake” nice.
I find a lot of people in canada to be fake nice but it is mostly from the boomer generation or children of boomers who were raised by fake nice parents. I work in the service and hospitality industry and by far the worst offenders are those with entitlement mentality and this was often the folks I've mentioned above.. people that have been through real hardship like those living below poverty have much less of the fake niceness, in my experience.
As an Russian ( I'm from Nizhny Novgorod) this video seemed curious to me. It was interesting to hear about differences between Russian and American culture.
Thank you so much. 😊👍
Glad you enjoyed it!
Novgorod means “new city” right? My grandparents are Slavic and say “Novgrad”
@@BudgetGainsByJJ Russians are not Slavs:) This is a people consisting of the Turkic peoples of the Volga and Kama region - Tatars, Chuvash, Mordovians, Mari, Udmurts, etc.
@@Paikeserebane I can comprehend that Russians are mostly probably Nordic people. The Slavic identification is complex and probably more connected to the religious and political structure of Eastern Europe
@@Paikeserebane it's stupid propaganda. Russians are mostly Slavic people, of course.
I would listen carefully to each what they have to say the more they listen the more they appreciate and sympathize with that understanding of their culture
Talking directly saves time and energy
This video is so refreshing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm an Indian and when I was in the US, I too felt the same. Are people actually so nice because it was too good to be true. I also had problem with small talk. I feel the Russian way of giving criticism is pretty similar to the Indian way. Compared to American style, we are a lot more direct and rude in giving criticism. Having said that, having Americans around can boost positive and cheerful atmosphere. The fact that people smile all the time can cheer you especially on a dull day. Overall I feel Indian way of doing things or even talking is quite closer to the Russian way. When I was in France, the negativity/ pessimism of the French people made me feel at home because the state in India where I come from also has the same attitude. Coming to cold nature, I felt the same in Germany too. I would say that Spanish spirit comes closer to the US happy spirit. I feel the optimistic, happy American attitude is also because the US is a mix of so many cultures.
Hi
Finally! Great explanation on the “making plans” portion of this convo. I feel as an American I know I am seen as rude when people ask if I want to participate in something and I will directly decline. I feel it is much more polite to directly decline and be honest and just express why I’m declining (even though it is not required). I have experiences TONS of people in “party mode” especially, planning while having drinks one night and trying to plan the rest of the weekend. And then either people don’t follow through with more direct planning of times/ locations, or they don’t respond, or they cancel last minute. I’ve always felt that behavior is more rude than initially declining. Because I think “what if they wanted to make other plans?” It’s an inconvenience when people are busy to be misleading about intentions. If there’s no interest, say “no.” If the intention is true then say “yes,” BUT then also plan AAAAAND follow through and try to be on time. I feel that is more courteous. But culturally I’ve come to a mindset of “believe it when I see it.” And any time somebody says they want to do something (with the exception of closer friends) I feel it’s very common for people to cancel. I’m very social and go out a lot and this is “normal” in my area. I do find it annoying but also it is so normal that I’ve had to adapt my own thinking just to avoid becoming too frustrated with meeting new people.
I was taught growing up always try to choose your words carefully also whenever traveling abroad research the customs and languages.
Knowing how differently we can feel and react is the first step to mutual understanding.
Thank You Dari and Sophia.
I loved my Russian boyfriend and when we split I used all my knowledge about this, like your yellow fingernails polish! I dressed up beautiful and yellow was my first choice. Russian ladies are elegant. Everyone around me found me attractive and exotic even though I'm American. I even spoke a little bit Russian and drank Vodka. Thankful when I had Russian friends I brought them a gift each time I visit. I love the preparation of the snacks and meals.
Don't overestimate vodka as part of Russian lifestyle))) I am Russian, and neither me, nor the most of my friends or colleagues never drink vodka.
Thanks for this interesting conversation, ladies. I have sensed this directness from a half Russian/Ukrainian, so what you say makes much sense and clarifies quite a lot for me. Love to you and to Russia - from the Faroes.
More love not war. Thanks you girls for this video. Wish you double down on this as a series. Спасибо
I was in Russia twice during the 90s and I always found the Russians to be highly friendly, open, welcoming, talkative and generous. I also found that to be the case in the Baltic countries. I never encountered this hard Russian outer shell.
Значит, ты нравился людям сразу
90-ies were also quite different. People were way more exited about the future and life in general.
Cause it’s not true, it’s a propaganda gimmick
Many things have changed after 90s. Russia has been tricked to many times by other countries on many occasions. Government together with people are much less polite and friendly during the first encounter. If they get to meet you they will become much more friendly
@@smik2518 there is no evidence russia "has been tricked too many times by other countries". Why would you even think so? Why would other countries want to "trick russia" ?.....
Great discussion! I lived in Russia for 3 years, and met my wife there, and lots of truth spoken here. But I will have to say that yes there are less intelligent people in the states as a whole. I was amazed at the all around knowledge of most everyone I met, very well educated, less damaged by the sheer amount of propaganda the U.S. dishes out about the world, because the U.S. media is highly biased and arrogant as world citizens, which translates to the people in general. (not everyone) Russians are sincere.. Americans.. mostly not.. too preoccupied about appearing nice.
Bless you both
May a bridge be built between us
small talk may eventually lead to friendship if there is a mutual interest.
In those cultures where small talks is not common it is much harder to make friends at the end, and it requires a much longer time.
I could make a large number of friends in the US in a relatively short time, and out of them, some became real and deep friendships.
On the opposite side I have lived a number of years in different European countries and there starting a conversation with strangers is almost impossible. In general one needs to be introduced by someone else, but when you are a newcomer you don't know anyone, and I ended up being alone for all the time of my stay.
The Dutch and Germans are also very direct and having worked with them, I really appreciate this communication style. An American would see it as "bitchy"; I do not. I wish more Americans would adopt the Russian (Dutch/ German) direct way of speaking. When I lived in Germany I had a "friend" who didn't hug me or call me her "friend" until we had known each other for a year. I have no issue with this--I prefer it. We should all be more discerning about who we let into our lives and who we call friend. Her friendship, to me, was far more genuine and true than any friendship I've had in America in many years because it was Earned. It wasn't predicated by social niceties. When she said I was her Friend, she meant it. And when she spoke to me, I Knew she was saying exactly what she meant, without any deception.
There are so many words in the Russian language to indicate the type of relationship: друг, приятель, товарищ, знакомый, кореш, дружище etc. And we really share all this within ourselves. In Russia no one will call you a friend just like that. This is the difference in mentality. Just a feature of language, and, as a result, thinking.
Lol I’m an American born with Dutch and German ancestry raised in NY state and I’m very bold.