Hai Psych2go!! Happy Saturday and happy August!!! I am planning on going camping this coming week! This video is amazing as always and so are you guys! ♡
Being alone by choice feels less painful than always thinking people don’t want you around. It’s exhausting feeling unwanted by everybody. That’s why we push everyone away, because it feels safer.
That moment when so many plushies gets sold and hugged that he will overflow with happiness, and will be unable to look sad. All future videos will be "how to deal with chronic happiness. Also, look at this cute rock I found"
What makes this disorder more difficult to deal with is the fact that lots of people are naturally wary and judgmental of those with poor social skills, and they will pull away from you or take advantage of you if they sniff out your feelings of inferiority. And that makes the APD sufferer feel that their self-isolation is justified - like "See? People really do hate me and I *am* safer being alone." It's a self-perpetuating cycle that can only be undone by an extremely kind, non-judgmental therapist and good friends.
I have AVPD. I don't think the disorder can ever go away completely, but the biggest thing that has helped me is throwing myself into the fire by having a job in which I need to interact with a lot of people. It is not fun, it's extremely exhausting and sometimes painful, but the more I interact with people, the more I realize that most people aren't judgmental and most will like you for who you are. But, all it takes is one bad social interaction, and it will mess with my thinking and I will be back to square one.
@@NATEG01 All these comments describe my viscous cycle of a life perfectly. I've finally had some therapy and I'm starting to do better now but it's still a struggle. But as I grow to liking myself more, it getsceasier tondeal with the struggel.
The way I saw people berated, humiliated and shunned in high school it's no wonder some grew up with this disorder.They end up covering up like a dog who's been beat too much.
Yep. That is partly my issue, even in my 40s I’m still affected by how i was made fun of in school and judged and cut down. Being a “highly sensitive person” only made it worse, i think. I’m still trying to forgive those people and get over it
tall32guy forgive yourself that’s all you need to do. What other people think of you doesn’t matter. But if you internalize the things they say it’s up to you to strengthen your self confidence to the point where criticism doesn’t make you mad
even bullies get abused. everyone gets bullied or feels lost and disillusioned at some point. these are the constants of life. to let this hold you back from all the happinesses of life is to give up your hope. you have to suffer and face your fears, in order to build a life that is beautiful and valuable. pick yourself up, forgive yourself for the evils others have done to you. love yourself and keep struggling for the dream life you wish you could have.
i REALLY want to get out there and just be "normal" however i physically/mentally cant. i'm constantly distancing myself from people and i just get myself to text or hangout with people. and all these years its been so hard explaining what actually is going on with me, but i'm glad i finally pinned it down :/ APD ruined so many opportunities for me it sucks
I just spent the last 4 hours crying about how I wish I was normal and that I wanted to / was able to want to go to school. I think I’ve been avoiding it because I haven’t done some of my schoolwork. It’s not that big of a deal, but every time I think about going into school I freak out. There’s been many other situations that add up to this. I’m going to try bring it up with my psychiatrist, but.. ironically I’m afraid of it being dismissed and told there’s no chance that’s it.
@Fabi's World because they make people believe if they aren't just like them there is something wrong with you and there isn't everyone is an individual therefore different so 1 nobody should critisize them for it and 2 it actually is normal to be different than others and the disorder is with the ones that think you should be just like everyone else
Blounem This is so wrong I can’t even understand how you came up with this. Anxiety is immense fear, apd is avoiding social situations do to repetitive negative experiences, but without the actual primitiv unlogical fear of anxiety. Anxiety on the other hand is simply way more than avoiding. Do some research m8
I repeatedly was in a situation where I thought I was a part of a group only to discover that the rest have their own private chat, hang out together or something along those lines and don't include me. Like, for example, all the girls in a class go together to see a movie and only later I hear them talk about it. All the girls minus one. My mind goes blank and I think: "Oh." Sometimes people aren't even meanspirited, they enjoy each other's company and good for them. It's just that I happen not to be that company. It can feel even worse to realise that you weren't ignored on purpose but just weren't even considered in the first place. And it would be fine to just ask to join because there might be no ill intent behind such a situation. It's probably those feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem whispering in my ear. But the same things come to mind: _you don't belong, you're boring, you're not like them, they're not like you, it makes no difference whether you're there or not._ I truly admire people who relentlessly put themselves out there. So much courage. I feel like I'm whining and playing a victim more times than I care to admit. How much of what I feel is just a result of my jumping to conclusions and fear of being rejected? Can I even read social cues anymore? Learning to feel good while being alone is a great skill to have anyway.
Me too, I've been rejected everywhere I ever went. Always had to eat lunch alone, do everything alone. You'd think I had nasty warts on my face or something. Not sure but I was moved to different schools almost every year, circumstances caused me to be in different jobs, different states so I was always the outsider. I don't care any more, I've gotten used to it. Actually I'm very independent and self-sufficient now.
a better group of people will find you and welcome and accept you :) eff those girls who cares about other people rejecting - as long as you don’t reject yourself!
"The rest have their own private chats" except me. That's so relatable. I really want to meet people with similar problem may be just to feel not left out.
@prairie mark I understand exactly. I have experienced much fairer treatment from people who are not related to me than my siblings. I have two brothers who have not treated me fairly in recent years and their actions have negative and detrimental to my well being. Consequently I have come to prefer the company of people I am not related to.
Another thing that sucks about this this disorder is that people will often take your distance in a negative way. They’ll think you hate them or something. This often happens when you have family members, relatives and friends who are more clingy. My uncle and my dad have reacted poorly to me because of this. When I try explaining it to them, all they hear is: “I don’t like hanging with you”
Me: I'll try to socialize more and be more confident. Other people around me : interrupts and ignores me. Me: and they ask why I wanna leave and being alone?
you shouldn't see interruption as abuse. these are a result of you feeling sensitive to a perceived attack. you have to filter out the noise, otherwise you will lose your mind in the 1000s of things that happen in the course of a completely harmless interaction. maybe they grew up with many siblings in a house full of constant bustling life and noise. be compassionate to yourself and forgive yourself as well as others.
I wonder how people actually ask their parents to see a psychiatrists because I have been trying to and well I am kinda afraid of them making fun of me for it so instead I didn't ask
i had the same fear but one day i just say "fuck it" and asked to see one. at first they said that it was useless then i just kept bugging and pushing and now i can. try!
@pauline you go girl! I’m so proud you made the step on your own. It might be a long journey, but at least you started. You are awesome. Don’t listen to your mom. She is selfish. Instead of taking care of her daughter’s health, she is only worried about her image. My mom noticed I was different as a child and never took me to a doctor. Now after so many years of struggling and depressions, I got my diagnosis last year. Autism. I was taking antidepressants, because I really needed help. But my mom said not to take them. Kept commenting how bad they are.. I know that. I told her that I rather not take it, but it was the pills or the rope. So I have distanced myself from my parents.. it’s sad but necessary.
You can also become this way thru being traumatized and abused. And that has nothing to do with fear of criticism or any feelings of inadequacy. You just don't trust anyone any more, and you are not into pretending you do. Its taxing and painful but at least its secure.
I would add that learning to trust in a healthy manner is to assume bad things can happen, but that the risk is necessary to find the good things in life too.
@@victorgonzalez2499 I don't rely on other people for happiness, and I have no influence on who they trust or don't trust. I often see people make assumptions in order to fit things into their context. Feel free to think whatever you like. However do not make assumptions about me when you know absolutely nothing about me. Good day sir.
@@nickf9392 I’m just basing my comment on what you wrote, you’re right I don’t know your life. What I do think is that not learning to trust others is a way of staying secure and also missing out on a lot of beautiful things in life. If you’re happy with your life that’s ok, I don’t know that, but you did say trusting is hard for you or at least that’s what I understood. Have a nice day :)
Avoidant personality disorder is so hard. I’m 19 and it makes it hard to do anything. Like I want to talk to people, and yet if I think about actually doing it I have a panic attack. I want to meet new people, but I’m afraid I’ll embarrass or get rejected. It’s so limiting and isolating I literally take the long away around my campus to avoid anyone seeing me Edit (2023): just wanted to give an update. I am now diagnosed with Autism (ASD) and CPTSD. I’m now in an amazing relationship but I still don’t talk to anyone outside of my partner or my best friend. I still get panic attacks going for walks around my city, but my therapist is wanting to do exposure therapy. I just want to say that all through this time I had been getting therapy since I was 14, so the issue persisted. I plan to go to grad school to become a therapist. Therapy does help but symptoms can persist.
yeah i’ve noticed i do that too. one time i saw my neighbor taking a walk in my neighborhood while i was walking my dog so i just went the other way, even though it was the opposite way i was supposed to be going. i think about it a lot for some reason. like why am i so scared to talk to someone if the WORST that can happen id they say hi or wherever and i say something stupid. even if that does happen, there’s no real consequence at all, but i’m so scared of it. it sucks
I remember doing that since my childhood. Actually other people find your behaviour awkward, I remember there were multiple people telling me that I was an asshole hating them, even without speaking with them except for 'hi-bye' relationship, because I was scared to talk to them. When I got closer with them, they told me "I thought you were an asshole or duochebag". Too bad I can't find any treatment to it on the internet, except for complains that they have the same thing and how it ruins their social life.
Ok I used to be like this until I went to therapy. I’m also 19 and know exactly how you feel; that’s how my freshman year of university went. Things can get better if you get help and change your thoughts. Find out why you feel this way and go from there.
It's "funny" this is recommended to me today. I had came to the realization that I avoid social interactions because it "feels better" to simply avoid people/social interaction because if I don't engage at all I don't have to worry about people ghosting me or fearing that I might say the wrong thing.
They say "don't diagnose yourself" and for most people I feel like that might be a pretty good rule to go by. But I also think it's important to question your therapist and not be afraid to correct them. No one is capable knowing more about you than yourself.
So correct ..I'd say if any person seeking help is open to co dependecy ,then there are therapist that lock others in to 5 years of visits.. The therapists fear of lack
Many years have I struggled with depression, anxiety, apd, and sad. It was horrible constantly feeling judged and inadequate. Now that I’m in my 60s, it’s gotten easier to deal with, most of the time. I do stay to myself still, it’s just easier than dealing with the anxiety. I was always considered very smart and very pretty. I got really good at redirecting others when they started focusing on me. It’s so exhausting though….and the rehashing of any conversations running through my head later.
Though I can’t be sure, I wouldn’t be surprised if I have this. I have been rejected or used by so many people in my life including family that I have trouble getting to know people or suffer anxiety. I also don’t feel intimacy with people as I have lacked a lot of emotional connection with people in my life. It makes me lonely, but I know no one will really accept me for who I am and I rather be alone than used as I have been. I have very low expectations with people that when they leave my life, as they usually do, I am not surprised. I have been told one thing by people, but when push comes to shove they reject me and think only of themselves, but I’m the one that has to make sacrifices all the time. I am tired of people.
I identify with some of this. I know people like that, who think only of themselves, and I have been in the situation of being the one who made sacrifices all the time and it wasn't appreciated, by two close relatives. I understand why you are tired of people. I feel the exact same way about these relatives.
@@howardcoles3537 Omg yes. People who don't care about your time and cancel plans last minute or ignore you most of the time and yet I am too scared to ask what their problem is. I don't want to seem needy or even more emotionally unstable than I am or be a burden which I obviously am... I feel lonely at every place where I met people. I don't keep in touch with the majority of them. I've become a stranger. Sorry, this might sound confusing.
Don't let it define you any more than necessary. Spend a lot of time learning yourself and fill the void that other people would have with personal meaning. People like us can be very happy living private lives, so long as you find some kind of social contact that you can dip-feed yourself.
I’ve noticed being like this that people in my life take it personal like I don’t want to be around them or don’t love them, they don’t realize how hard it is to simply be around people out of fear of being judged/embarrassed
When you’re told not to self diagnose but you don’t have the courage to tell your parents you may need to see someone because you don’t think they’d take you seriously
Actually, I am kind of against this advice as a general rule. I have diagnosed double depression since 2017 and started to feel depressed with the beginning of my puberty, which was back in 2007. Someone usually notices when something is wrong - and so did I. I actually spent a whole evening reading through the ICD-10 finding one diagnosis which perfectly fits my behaviour / problems and told my psychologist and psychiatrist about that matter and they both agreed on that. In the end, you're just telling the doctors what you think you're suffering from and they'll decide according to diagnostic guidelines and rating scales whether your suspicion is correct or not. I'd highly recommend you to seek help; the sooner, the better! For me, it took 10 years (didn't want my parents and ex-girlfriend to know) - and I somehow regret it that I took so long although antidepressants and behavioural therapy didn't work for me at all because my life would have taken a different path for sure. All the best for you.
Why would you want to change who you are so you can be just like everyone else that is the disorder trying to tell people there is something wrong with them because they are different i don't want to be like everyone else I'm normal being an individual
@@platiipusgaming6475 no it's not it's retarded to think there is something wrong with you because of someone else's opinion on how they think you should be
We avoid situations/people if we don't like. We can't go against the gravity of the negative energy. They just want to give a symbol to describe characters. For example a Tree is not a tree, it has branhces, roots, trunk. We all avoid certain situations and procrastinate. www.selfhelpchampion.com
My diagnosis is AvPD and Depression, and I always find it difficult to explain AvPD, so I'm glad theres videos like these to give more information on the thing ^^ have a nice day.
I feel this so bad....I literally just turned down on going to a movie night with friends I don't see in a while because its a lot of people and I cut my hair really short and I'm super afraid of the reactions...I hate that I do this all the time, I usually refuse on going to social events...I genuinely want to be with them but when theres also people I'm not that close with and I'm not totally confortable with, I get scared and I just end up making some excuse...I really shouldn't do this...I hate it here...
You have to decide if it's worth it. I did that for years, making myself sick with worry and pushing myself to go to events and parties. It seems like the wrong choice to cut yourself off, especially with dating. And it probably is, if the idea and action of socializing didn't make you even more sick. I pushed myself for 20 years, did therapy for 5 of those years. Then I just stopped. I stopped dating, and I stopped trying to be part of the group. Found a job where I can work alone. My anxiety is at an all time low, but managing loneliness and finding the right amount of social contact through close friends and family is challenging.
Ik the feeling. I flake too when my anxiety flares w seeing friends and new ppl. Trust me, it’s never as bad as you’ll imagine it will be! Exposure therapy works best, but you really have to force yourself to sit through it and breathe. Somehow it’s never gotten easier for me, but idk. A lot of times I just force myself to go so I don’t fall into a bad habit of avoiding TOO much
Yeah I'm glad I don't have friends or use any social media shit that zoomers use like tiktoks and snapchats and whatever because people make me anxious and also those apps are retarded, currently I'm just playing a game called totally accurate battle grounds, go to school and watch TH-cam. I'm also about to be 18 in like a year and honestly I do not want or need a job, il just live off welfare here in finland. Thank you government ( :
@@amana1480 Treatment is the same type that's used to treat social phobia. exposure and talk therapy, with medication if the patient suffers from other disorders as well. sadly i can't say i've had much success with just talk therapy but im doing cbt now. we'll see how that goes. medication helped in reducing everyday anxiety at least. especially the OCD.
@@mtk3668 I'm not diagnosed with this but I realize I have it. What do you think the chances of treatment are and living a fulfilling life with the condition?
@@yulnikita desensitization helps a lot, its like treating a phobia, not everyone is going to abuse you or judge you harshly, you just have to go out and find them. i was abused by a lot of cluster b personality disorders, so learning how to cope with that helps too, like not internalizing destructive criticism. i have cptsd too, talk therapy is really bad for people with cptsd, it keeps us in trauma recall.
So my close friend mentioned this before and what’s so crazy is how i’ve been avoiding people since high school. Deep down i’m outgoing but constantly being overlooked AND ignored hurt me… Now i don’t want to be around anyone. i’m scared of love.
You don't have a disorder the disorder is them trying to make you like everyone else be an individual don't be like everyone else there is nothing wrong with you the problem is with the ones who tell you how they think you should be and telling you you're not normal and therefore have a disorder
@@TH-camforcedmetochangemyname Can you write with punctuation, please? I can't understand whatever you're trying type and your sentences are so jumbled its irritating.
I literally just got ghosted by someone who is avoidant, things were really good between us but he just suddenly stopped talking to me. I guess I should have seen it coming and I shouldn’t be mad at him.
Best you can do is to be epically patient with them :) The Avoidant won't ghost you when they feel 100% safe around you. With my best friend it took me 3 months to feel that way about him, and now we've been solid friends for 8 years. He means the world to me, so unless your friend really doesn't want you in their life (which is sometimes the case for any human), I say go easy on them, DON'T pressure them to come out, let them do things at their exact pace and you may have a friend for life who will be eternally grateful to you 💗
I’m an avoidant, we do fear happiness quite a lot and due to our low self esteem, we believe we aren’t worthy for potential love partners. He probably was paranoid that you didn’t like him.
why do u have this disorder? ur beautiful,. i thought only ugly and inadequate people get it,,,, i dunno what people have done to you in the past, but i doubt its actual real rejection, but ur probably jus misinterpretting them wrong
Yes It can develop at any moment in our lives. The gravity of the disorder depends on the type of trauma/experience we encountered. But it can be treated/healed since it's not a genetic disorder, but more a psychological defense mechanism.
That really ruined my relationship with my parents. I make them so sad sometimes because i act like a jerk. My mom always tells me to be better, especially while having dinner or after because this is the only time of the day we get to sit and talk. She cried several times because of me and i don't want to see her cry anymore. I wrote this so that i can remember what i said whenever someone likes my comment. I'm trying so hard to change but i'm still failing, i don't to be a failure to the eyes of my parents.
dude i always thought i was just extremely shy around people i dont know. but every single point of this fits, never even been close to an intimate relationship, because i dont let it happen, only have like 2 friends and never talk to anyone else if not needed and ferel like im worth less than everyone else. might need to see a doctor..
When I go out, I feel like everyone is looking at me. Even if I try to think differently, I can't. My brain freezes, I can't look left or right. I feel like every action I take can be criticized. This is the problem I've had for 33 years.
My sister is psychology student and she say i has "personality disorder" and after i watch this video, I already confirmed that my sister assumption about me is true. 🙂
Wrong what they calls disorder is just you not being some cookie cutout of what they think you should be but you are an individual not a clone of everyone else you don't have a disorder because you aren't like them IDC if your sister is a phsyh whatever
ItzNova Dimension You want advice? Don’t wait for your „parents“ to allow you to seek help, but do it with someone you trust so you don’t end up tricked by disgusting maggots that seem like human
@@lexmortis5722 I dont know I don't want them to make fun of me because I ask if I could go see a psychiatrist, so I think I am just not going to say anything and move on I guess
ItzNova Dimension Nononononononononononono. I have apd and bpd, DONT suffer in silence, those who laugh are nothing than ignorant maggots that should get stomped. Please, I beg you, talk to a doc, they won’t laugh at you and if they do, you can sue them for it. Please don’t just ignore it like me. I am on the verge of killing myself because I opened up to late. Don’t wait, it is important, even if you think it is not. I will checkin in a week and ask you if you did it if you want to :)
The worst part is that when you try to come out of your shell, you will draw people who will make you feel inadequate and discard you, bcs you unconsciously continue pattern from early childhood. So better just avoid again 😔
If they discard you that ez, it means you are nothing to them. You might be wishful thinking they r your friends but in reality, they barely know you. It takes time to develop relationships. So fake friends is like no friends. And you don't need them.
too all guys that take this too hard: don't take this too hard. I believe most of the people are some type of avoidant others might react super outgoing and 'fake' to new environments and both are coping mechanisms because we don't want to make mistakes and be as 'perfect' as possible to other people (so opt. 1 is not doing anything to not make mistakes and opt. 2 is being the clown to impress). I too struggle with being avoidant to social situations but it gets better and better the older I get. I believe everything comes at the right time in your life so keep your head up, expose yourself to your anxiety in ways you're comfortable with but most importantly: don't blame yourself for being you because only you being you is the best or 'perfect' version of yourself.
Is it just me or one day you want to be happy and the next you’re scared to or don’t want to be? I’m not sure why I feel like this but I’m confusing myself.
I remember my psychiatrist telling me i am now diagnosed with Avoidant, OC and borderline personality disorders with social anxiety and severe depression. That's how i ended up in his office. But i've been feeling better and i know myself better since watching Psych2Go, i am grateful for you guys to let me learn so much about myself.
The fact that society pressurises us so much to behave or look in certain way to the point we never feel complete..this is really frustrating..I have struggled so much as I have been criticised for my shortcomings and looks from quite an early age..that just messes you up.
Recipe for AvPD: - underdeveloped executive functioning skills (aka undiagnosed ADHD) - family environment unintentionally encouraging anxiety about everything ("be careful!!") Mix well & bake for 2 or more decades. Take out of the oven in the middle of a pandemic when everyone is avoiding everything, making it extra difficult to overcome AvPD. 🙄
Okay so is there a personality disorder for this scenario? I am deliberately avoiding people outside, not responding to texts, extremely aware of my surroundings to the point where I’m constantly looking around me and being extremely cautious of other people around me, never wanting to go out unless necessary, not even willing to text or facetime my closest friends, and all I feel like doing is staying home and chilling on my own. I have no idea what’s going on. Shit started happening ever since quarantine started.
yeah idk i feel basically the exact same as you and it’s been going on for a couple years now. at some point you sort of accept that you’re gonna be alone more than you think you want to be at first. that’s because everyone for some reason thinks it’s a bad thing it be an introvert. just be you and do what YOU enjoy and it should be ok.( also idk why i’m giving u advice i’m in the exact situation as you and i need to practice what i preach more honestly) but i understand how hard it is to be around people because you think they’re all thinking about you or whatever. just know you’ll be better at some point.
It’s the chicken or the egg - I act this way, but it’s due to years & years of rejection from everyone... you just get to the point where “if everyone doesn’t like me, what’s the point?” 🤷🏻♀️
i'm positive I have this. this describes me completely. at first I thought I may have social anxiety, but honestly this is what accurately describes what i go through on a day to day basis. I cut off all my friends and I'm hyper sensitive to criticism to where I don't attempt to make friends. I also don't go out at all and I show the other traits of this disorder.
I’ve always concluded that my social issues were merely the result of being an introvert. However, I sought more information because the problem has severely impacted my life. It has affected my ability to form relationships. It has affected the direction of my career. Over the last 10 years or so I have even avoided jobs that require interaction with too many people. My current job is mostly remote, and that’s the primary reason I took it!! And the reason is because I have this unnatural obsession with believing that people don’t like me. I think they don’t like the way I look, or sound. That they think I’m boring or even stupid when I talk. I over-analyze every interaction I have with people. I always walk away wondering what they really think of me. To avoid feeling uncomfortable I just don’t interact with people much. I have finally accepted that this isn’t just introversion or shyness. This is an abnormal way of thinking and behaving. The next step is to seek help. However, the disorder has even prevented me from doing that, because I’m even afraid of what the therapist will think. FML 🤦🏾♀️
No, it's completely not weird..... Thnks to psych2go for shedding some light on this disorder, or I would have never known that there are people out there too that relate to these kind of feelings🌸...... I feel sooo much understood right now
Athena X saddest part is though I don’t know what caused it to manifest in the first place or what to do about it. Only thing I know is that it’s slowly gotten worse over time
@@QGonline I don't know either😔.... I considered reading books meant to improve confidence n how to socialize (but I m too lazy).......i hope you will overcome it someday n live ur life to the fullest 💗
I discovered I had this around 23. It took a while bc I had to dig deeper and deeper when I saw my “social anxiety” was 24/7 instead of situationally, and I wasn’t growing out of my “social anxiety” like my peers were. AvPD has been the most challenging and painful part to my life, but with acceptance and loved ones around, it’s become manageable for me, thankfully. glad to see awareness slowly coming to surface
I'd love to see a whole series on the personality disorders. Everyone tends to focus only on 3/4 of the cluster b ones and completely ignores all of the others.
i was just recommended by my psychiatrist to look this up because she thinks i have it and im so glad theres a video about it so i can learn more. thanks!
I think there are a lot more of these personality types than we think. Maybe some less intense than others, but there are definitely a lot. I see it with my own interactions with other people. I have been ghosted so many times by new people I just met, who I thought could be a potential friend, or even weeks/months into knowing them. Ghosted for their reason, but I never knew what the hell for. I used to blame myself and sit and think what I did and maybe so should have said this or that or been more “cooler” for them to stay... I finally came to my senses that it’s not always about me, more so them and trying to hold up a friendship. This has been happening my whole life... so guess what happens, I developed it too in the last few years... working on it. BUT it sucks, I want people, I want interactions.
After my fathers death when I was 17 my spirit essentially died which led me to spiral into a waste of a human being and I’ve been merely existing ever since. I’m 24 now. I haven’t had a single girlfriend, have only talked to a few in general, don’t have a career or any goals, and am basically just waiting until after my dog dies to end my own life. I can relate with the description you gave a ton. I avoid social situations and spend 95% of my time at home basically doing nothing or playing video games. I’m just a waste really and it’s a shame someone else can’t just take over for me. Once my dog is gone it’s finally gonna be time to stop wasting space. It’s too late for me to turn things around but I do hope others can be better than me and I recommend seeking help from a professional. Don’t let this consume you
No someone else's view on how you should be to be normal isn't a disorder it's their problem not yours you are how you are supposed to be an individual not a cookie cut out like they think you should be
As a person who is diagnosed I couldn´t say it being an extrovert is compatible with APD, I have lost so many opportunities for relationships (social and love) because I felt not being able to adapt to the situation. Even when for me feels nice to meet other people and have fun conversation what you will most feel is wanting to run away from there.
I Feel you. I’m extremely extroverted but only because it’s like I want to please people. Once I realize I can’t do that without not being me , I shy away and try to tell myself those people don’t matter and they aren’t “ real “ . It’s weird cause I know I like them somewhere in my heart but without acceptance I almost loose all hope
For me, the biggest realization about APD and social anxiety (which I was wrongly told to have so many times) was, that APD just convinces you, that you're the ultimate annoyance and burden without the stress over it. It's really the differenc between "Will I be annoying if I joined in this group's conversation?" in contrast to "I'm despisable, and I will do them a favor if I'm not joining in."
Yeah, exactly. People can also force you to not be yourself as well. Another reason why I’ve stopped bothering. I know there are people out there who don’t do that, but I’ll never meet them.
I dated and fell in love with a woman with APD. Super painful. I tried to love her through it, but didn’t learn APD is intractable until she had completely pushed me away and I was left devastated and 💔 I almost committed suicide three different t times over losing her. I still feel excruciating emotional pain thinking about her and missing her. Heavy sigh
You sound calm, satisfying, you're helpful, you make me smile, you help me cope with depression, you help me understand for who I am, you did many more, thank you. ♡❀✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*
I relate to this all too well as I realize that I have pushed many good people away who have wanted nothing more than to be my friend. I hope one day this will pass because it's not a good place to be.
I avoid other people, NOT because I'm afraid of rejection but because I don't particularly like people. It's rare to find "down-to-Earth" people but those are the people I'm drawn to and most comfortable with.
That’s a healthy state though. Everyone is entitled to finding their tribe and building their happiness their own way. The problem with the avoidants is that they don’t trust others, yet feel entitled to others trust and are not willing to self reflect and blame the world for continually disappointing them
Same here. Every time I let my guard down, and open-up to people, they fekked me over. I learned to just push people away, because I don’t need the stress.
To All Who Have this Avoidant Detachment issue. WE ALL KNOW HOW HARD IT IS. WE DO REALLY WANT TO LOVE AND BE LOVED, BUT THE PAIN IS SO UNBEARABLE. It makes life a bit livable not to be attached. Sadly, we are good and we also extend our love, protection, and thoughtfullness to people. Yes WE CARE. As soon as we feel you are doing okay/well/better, and safe, it is time to let you go. We also have a high emotional qoutient (sympathy and empathy). This video gave me answers why it so easy and fast i can switch off my feelings to anything. I hope you all may find happiness, satisfaction, success, fullfillment while we are in this lifetime. Who knows we might have another lifetime. It is just weird that I am more hopeful about the after earth life. I'm not suicidal just to be clear, but I couldn't care anyless if I die or suffer while I'm still breathing.
these videos are often posted earlier but in private, so only a few people can view them. That might be how psych2go are able to 'post' videos that require a lot of effort, multiple times a week.
I don't have a fear of criticism or rejection. I have a fear of people harming me because of past traumatic relationships. Now I can't trust anyone or maintain relationships, or even leave my house other to go to work. The self imposed isolation and fear of intimate relationships hits the same.
I felt like this my entire life and I didn't know this was a thing, I can't self diagnose myself but I'm relieved to see that other people feel this way and that I'm not alone in this
I have avoidant personality disorder with traits of borderline personality disorder but I can definitely say that 5 years of therapy helped A LOT, I still have that voice in my head going "you're not doing enough" "you're not as good at this as someone else will be" "your opinion isn't as important" etc but I tell myself I am and I am definitely feeling much much better, sometimes I literally cry when I fail at something but instead of running away I just try to be as open as possible and set clear boundaries. Good luck everyone!
@@ghostbuster.. I have the official diagnosis of avoidant pd, very preoccupied of what others think of me and always think it's negative and heavy fear of rejection with a lot of isolation, rather not do something because I fear I will fail and people will laugh at me etc but yea imposter syndrome and avoidant pd have some overlap, the difference is that with personality disorders is that there is a clear long on going pattern of the same behaviour if someone only sometimes or in 1 specific area of their live experiences this it is not necessarily a personality disorder, I would not go to school because I got bullied and laughed at, I would not go to work for the same fear of it, I am very distant in close relationships for the same fear, I have difficulty openly talking to someone unless I believe they like me, which might seem contradicting because I share all this but there are so many times I type something and then delete it again because I fear someone's reaction, it is getting better though but small steps.
@@letsplayg I see. I'm really sorry that you have to go through such thing and i completely understand as I've also had it my entire life but it's never taken srsly and nobody understands,,i hope it's okay to ask but how do you deal with it? even if it's just small steps i would still like to know,,
@@ghostbuster.. My next comment is very long so it's ok if you don't read it, Thank you for your compassion. What helps me is accepting that mistakes are ok, cognitive thinking: if someone laughs at me it says more about them than me, when stuck in negative thinking realise that even if it's all true constantly obsessing about it isn't gonna get you anywhere, when you recognize a pattern try to do the opposite of what you feel, expose yourself to rejection and sit with the feelings and be kind to yourself but realise you're not a victim or inadequate, the more you feel triggered the more you should try to deal with it right away: if you cry at work and feel so ashamed instead of not going, keep going, ask for help and express your emotions, escapism is good but don't lose grip on reality, you might have different views and that is good but reality is different: example you have been through a lot so it is understandable you struggle but only with hard work will you get rewards just like anyone if you want money you need to work, if you want connection you need to be more open, don't expect special treatment and realize avoiding is not healthy even though it is what feels best, face problems head on even if it makes you extremely uncomfortable, lots of people don't truly know what they are doing it is normal, acknowledge that inner critic and tell it that it's not true, do acts of service and express gratitude, realize that people their intentions often aren't to hurt you but to help you and most importantly take your time it might take you years to break this and change but you can only change yourself not others an exercise I had to do at therapy was ask 10 people what they thought about me and this was scary but in my head it was way more negative than they said, reality was some saw me as kind and others wouldn't be friends but felt indifferent, I got/get judged for being weird the instant people see me and I always thought it was my fault but what were they judging on? I am definitely weird though but is that a negative character trait? Someone who disliked me at therapy based on my sexuality/looks (gay) actually got to know me and realised we were way more alike than he thought. Hope this somewhat helps.
why are people expectant of me and my behavior in the first place? I'm considered unique to me, so how can anyone else tell me I have an avoidant personality disorder of any kind? Who decides what is normal today? Have you seen society?
it's never feeling comfortable with other people. it's double guessing every thing you said on the drive home, when you do go out. It's telling yourself that you'd rather be alone because it's easier. I think I recognize the symptoms
I would like to see a video on how ADD/ADHD and the sometimes accompanied hypersensitivity and emotional liability affects your mental health and your everyday life because most people still think it's ONLY about not being able to concentrate or not being able to sit still.
OMG yes! lol. Everyone only talks about the "quirky" parts of having ADD/ADHD but theres so much more. My friends make fun of my inability to pay attention but it KILLS me inside when I cant have conversations because I can't remember shit about anyone cuz I wasn't paying attention or just forgot.
I know I’m not supposed to self-diagnose, but this video just perfectly described me. I grew up in the country and went to school in a very small town. I lost all my friends in Jr. High when I was no longer “cool”. Mostly due to the fact that I didn’t enjoy sports and wasn’t a good athlete. In rural America, athleticism is the measure by which you are judged. I was accused of being “gay” (I’m not), and ruthlessly bullied and teased. It is something that has stuck with me to this day. I still live in the community, and run my family farm, but I have very little interaction with people except those I absolutely need to interact with for business. I’m used to it by now, so I guess it will never change.
I hate my personality so much i feel like I'm the most boring human being on this planet which is why i never even try to make new friends because they'll just get bored of me and leave ☹️
Sorry to hear that but a suicide attempt must be taken seriously and professional help is needed, eg doctor or mental health organisation. Life goes up and down for us all, suicide is not the answer. I’ll say a prayer 🙏.
Everything is transient. Just exist, and let time work its magic. You can't imagine a world where you'll feel joy again, but its coming and nothing can stop it except you taking your life and robbing time.
Thanks for making this video. I recognize myself in this, a lot. I might have APD, or not. I don't really know how a diagnosis with APD would change anything. I guess it would just mean I'd have a new label for my symptoms. I'm currently in therapy for social anxiety, so the problems I have are being addressed either way. Avoiding has become second nature to me. It's my primary coping mechanism and reaction to situations that trigger my fears. I'm fine on my own most of the time because it's safer like this. But I'm really lonely. Just lonely. Life is flat like this and my relationships stay very superficial, because I can't let anyone in. I don't even know _how_ to be vulnerable, or at least that's what it feels like. I have lots of ideas for what I want my life to look like. I know what to do, I just never do it. Never actually take any steps. I'm tired of constantly having to push myself.
Hey, you okay? The past two years have been very bad for the entire world, except for the ones with APD. 😂😂😂. Things are going to change for better from this point forward. APD is not such a huge disorder. If you don't like something or someone, staying away from them is the commonsense thing to do. Some people need friends and a crowd around them. Some just don't. That's all. So, don't push yourself or do anything that you are not comfortable with.
When invited to Social settings, I would make up an excuse just not to be present. However, when I can't avoid social settings, I pretend to be happy, and make people laugh because I'm quite good with humor, but deep down inside, I'm not happy being there. Once upon a time being called ugly and being made fun of, use to make me cry, but now I cry no more because crying is useless, and it doesn't change anything. Apparently, I have become emotionally strong.
i always knew i had a problem and now i have found it. I have had all these ''symptoms'' from a young age. Good to know btw what this is exactly and how it is called. Thank you for your vids!
I have a childhood friend that exhibits these traits it's very sad because no matter how hard you try to pull them out this shell, he'll becomes more emotionally defiant.
I mean to be frank, for introverts like me, we don't actually make an impact in a social group. And that makes it way more difficult to have partners. Even if we stop responding for a long time, no one feels any sort of emotions. So, if you dont have people who understands you for what you are, do not beg of it. Just do what you love and live your life as fully as you can. Because living life to the fullest is subjective .
Happy Saturday everyone! What are your plans for the weekend? And how are you liking this week's video posting?
Ok
Thx
Your videos have been great
But , in here is sunday
Hai Psych2go!! Happy Saturday and happy August!!! I am planning on going camping this coming week! This video is amazing as always and so are you guys! ♡
Being alone by choice feels less painful than always thinking people don’t want you around. It’s exhausting feeling unwanted by everybody. That’s why we push everyone away, because it feels safer.
Yea. My ex didnt understand this and thought i did these things on purpose and said i only have myself to blame for being lonely and having no friends
Thank you for putting this into words.
I do agree with you ... its kinda exhausting when you push yourself on some social interaction also..it drains me..
You move away from pain and move towards pleasure 😔
They'll all leave eventually anyway.
This leaf guy is really going through a lot.
And I thought my life was hard
We know! That's why we want to make a plush available again to commemorate it. Hugging it will improve it's mood 200%
@@Psych2go hey go for it!
That moment when so many plushies gets sold and hugged that he will overflow with happiness, and will be unable to look sad.
All future videos will be "how to deal with chronic happiness. Also, look at this cute rock I found"
He basically has every mental disorder ever lmao
Psych2Go please make a plush it would be so cute and I would 100% buy it
What makes this disorder more difficult to deal with is the fact that lots of people are naturally wary and judgmental of those with poor social skills, and they will pull away from you or take advantage of you if they sniff out your feelings of inferiority. And that makes the APD sufferer feel that their self-isolation is justified - like "See? People really do hate me and I *am* safer being alone." It's a self-perpetuating cycle that can only be undone by an extremely kind, non-judgmental therapist and good friends.
exactlyyy, it just keeps getting worse unless you're lucky
You really described my life perfectly :(
You truly described it perfectly. Hope you're doing well though
I have AVPD. I don't think the disorder can ever go away completely, but the biggest thing that has helped me is throwing myself into the fire by having a job in which I need to interact with a lot of people. It is not fun, it's extremely exhausting and sometimes painful, but the more I interact with people, the more I realize that most people aren't judgmental and most will like you for who you are. But, all it takes is one bad social interaction, and it will mess with my thinking and I will be back to square one.
@@NATEG01 All these comments describe my viscous cycle of a life perfectly. I've finally had some therapy and I'm starting to do better now but it's still a struggle. But as I grow to liking myself more, it getsceasier tondeal with the struggel.
The sad thing is, whenever you withdraw yourself from social settings (like me), no one really takes notice.
@prairie mark True.
@prairie mark Sweet. At least you get to do something you enjoy.
Who said that?
@@starlord2112 ?
@@overmorrow3907 Kinell. It's there again. Who said that?
The way I saw people berated, humiliated and shunned in high school it's no wonder some grew up with this disorder.They end up covering up like a dog who's been beat too much.
Yep. That is partly my issue, even in my 40s I’m still affected by how i was made fun of in school and judged and cut down. Being a “highly sensitive person” only made it worse, i think. I’m still trying to forgive those people and get over it
tall32guy forgive yourself that’s all you need to do. What other people think of you doesn’t matter. But if you internalize the things they say it’s up to you to strengthen your self confidence to the point where criticism doesn’t make you mad
"till you spend half your just a-cov'ring up now" On point!
even bullies get abused. everyone gets bullied or feels lost and disillusioned at some point. these are the constants of life. to let this hold you back from all the happinesses of life is to give up your hope. you have to suffer and face your fears, in order to build a life that is beautiful and valuable. pick yourself up, forgive yourself for the evils others have done to you. love yourself and keep struggling for the dream life you wish you could have.
Thanks to my mother, and my golden siblings :0!!!
i REALLY want to get out there and just be "normal" however i physically/mentally cant. i'm constantly distancing myself from people and i just get myself to text or hangout with people. and all these years its been so hard explaining what actually is going on with me, but i'm glad i finally pinned it down :/ APD ruined so many opportunities for me it sucks
Me too. Trust me I know exactly how you feel. I’ve felt this way for a long time. It’s only now that I’ve discovered what’s really going on.
I just spent the last 4 hours crying about how I wish I was normal and that I wanted to / was able to want to go to school. I think I’ve been avoiding it because I haven’t done some of my schoolwork. It’s not that big of a deal, but every time I think about going into school I freak out. There’s been many other situations that add up to this. I’m going to try bring it up with my psychiatrist, but.. ironically I’m afraid of it being dismissed and told there’s no chance that’s it.
Just because you have a name for it doesn’t mean you’ve pinned down the reason for it. It’s not a disease. It’s a conditioned reaction.
The video literally said not to self diagnose and that's exactly what 99% of the comments do lmao
@@kevinlow69420 but not everyone can afford therapists lol self diagnosing and learning about this is our only option
Avoidant personality disorder-
•fear of criticism
•Inadequacy
•Social withdrawal
Sounds just like someone with anxiety
Why can I relate to all these
@Fabi's World because they make people believe if they aren't just like them there is something wrong with you and there isn't everyone is an individual therefore different so 1 nobody should critisize them for it and 2 it actually is normal to be different than others and the disorder is with the ones that think you should be just like everyone else
Blounem This is so wrong I can’t even understand how you came up with this. Anxiety is immense fear, apd is avoiding social situations do to repetitive negative experiences, but without the actual primitiv unlogical fear of anxiety. Anxiety on the other hand is simply way more than avoiding. Do some research m8
Yandere dev has some of these
My grandpa: 'It's a personality disorder that makes you avoid people'
Oh god I thought the same when I saw the word "Avoidant Disorder" ngl 😭
Heartsy Kpopper lmao same
What does your grandpa say now after watching the video? :)
@@Psych2go He doesn't watch videos
He watches news
@@W00fle that was a bit rude though
I repeatedly was in a situation where I thought I was a part of a group only to discover that the rest have their own private chat, hang out together or something along those lines and don't include me. Like, for example, all the girls in a class go together to see a movie and only later I hear them talk about it. All the girls minus one. My mind goes blank and I think: "Oh."
Sometimes people aren't even meanspirited, they enjoy each other's company and good for them. It's just that I happen not to be that company. It can feel even worse to realise that you weren't ignored on purpose but just weren't even considered in the first place. And it would be fine to just ask to join because there might be no ill intent behind such a situation. It's probably those feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem whispering in my ear. But the same things come to mind: _you don't belong, you're boring, you're not like them, they're not like you, it makes no difference whether you're there or not._
I truly admire people who relentlessly put themselves out there. So much courage. I feel like I'm whining and playing a victim more times than I care to admit. How much of what I feel is just a result of my jumping to conclusions and fear of being rejected? Can I even read social cues anymore? Learning to feel good while being alone is a great skill to have anyway.
This is exactly how I feel....
This is exactly how I feel....
Me too, I've been rejected everywhere I ever went. Always had to eat lunch alone, do everything alone. You'd think I had nasty warts on my face or something. Not sure but I was moved to different schools almost every year, circumstances caused me to be in different jobs, different states so I was always the outsider. I don't care any more, I've gotten used to it. Actually I'm very independent and self-sufficient now.
a better group of people will find you and welcome and accept you :) eff those girls who cares about other people rejecting - as long as you don’t reject yourself!
"The rest have their own private chats" except me. That's so relatable. I really want to meet people with similar problem may be just to feel not left out.
The voice actress should have a podcast, her voice is very calming and amazing
I second this!!🤩😌
Sameee
I KNOW RIGHT
Indeed!
That's Amanda Silvera for you. Angel.
I experience all of this . That’s why I socialize with strangers . There’s no commitment, no judgement, and they seem to engage just as much as I do .
@prairie mark I understand exactly. I have experienced much fairer treatment from people who are not related to me than my siblings. I have two brothers who have not treated me fairly in recent years and their actions have negative and detrimental to my well being. Consequently I have come to prefer the company of people I am not related to.
prairie mark I totally can relate .
Are you sure you have AvPD? Most of us can't socialize at all, with no one.
exactly why i avoid friends and friend of friends
I can understand 😅
Another thing that sucks about this this disorder is that people will often take your distance in a negative way. They’ll think you hate them or something.
This often happens when you have family members, relatives and friends who are more clingy. My uncle and my dad have reacted poorly to me because of this. When I try explaining it to them, all they hear is: “I don’t like hanging with you”
Me: I'll try to socialize more and be more confident.
Other people around me : interrupts and ignores me.
Me: and they ask why I wanna leave and being alone?
Ikr
me: is it really a disorder, or just an intelligent person avoiding further abuse?
Yes. It's very tough to find good people. But by now I'd rather take the risk. Better than living life in a prison cell you created yourself.
you shouldn't see interruption as abuse. these are a result of you feeling sensitive to a perceived attack. you have to filter out the noise, otherwise you will lose your mind in the 1000s of things that happen in the course of a completely harmless interaction. maybe they grew up with many siblings in a house full of constant bustling life and noise. be compassionate to yourself and forgive yourself as well as others.
@@roxyndra yeah same question 🙋
I wonder how people actually ask their parents to see a psychiatrists because I have been trying to and well I am kinda afraid of them making fun of me for it so instead I didn't ask
You have to analyse their reactions to psychological topics and conversations that’s not about you just to predict and prepare for their response
im scared they would use it against me in future arguments
i had the same fear but one day i just say "fuck it" and asked to see one. at first they said that it was useless then i just kept bugging and pushing and now i can. try!
@pauline you go girl! I’m so proud you made the step on your own. It might be a long journey, but at least you started. You are awesome. Don’t listen to your mom. She is selfish. Instead of taking care of her daughter’s health, she is only worried about her image. My mom noticed I was different as a child and never took me to a doctor. Now after so many years of struggling and depressions, I got my diagnosis last year. Autism. I was taking antidepressants, because I really needed help. But my mom said not to take them. Kept commenting how bad they are.. I know that. I told her that I rather not take it, but it was the pills or the rope. So I have distanced myself from my parents.. it’s sad but necessary.
@@Dee8Bee now i have to study more to atleast make them have a sense of happiness (-_-)
You can also become this way thru being traumatized and abused. And that has nothing to do with fear of criticism or any feelings of inadequacy. You just don't trust anyone any more, and you are not into pretending you do. Its taxing and painful but at least its secure.
Agree!
It’s secure but it’s also negating a lot of happiness from your life because you can’t trust others and thus they can’t trust you.
I would add that learning to trust in a healthy manner is to assume bad things can happen, but that the risk is necessary to find the good things in life too.
@@victorgonzalez2499 I don't rely on other people for happiness, and I have no influence on who they trust or don't trust. I often see people make assumptions in order to fit things into their context. Feel free to think whatever you like. However do not make assumptions about me when you know absolutely nothing about me. Good day sir.
@@nickf9392 I’m just basing my comment on what you wrote, you’re right I don’t know your life. What I do think is that not learning to trust others is a way of staying secure and also missing out on a lot of beautiful things in life. If you’re happy with your life that’s ok, I don’t know that, but you did say trusting is hard for you or at least that’s what I understood. Have a nice day :)
Avoidant personality disorder is so hard.
I’m 19 and it makes it hard to do anything.
Like I want to talk to people, and yet if I think about actually doing it I have a panic attack.
I want to meet new people, but I’m afraid I’ll embarrass or get rejected.
It’s so limiting and isolating
I literally take the long away around my campus to avoid anyone seeing me
Edit (2023): just wanted to give an update. I am now diagnosed with Autism (ASD) and CPTSD. I’m now in an amazing relationship but I still don’t talk to anyone outside of my partner or my best friend. I still get panic attacks going for walks around my city, but my therapist is wanting to do exposure therapy.
I just want to say that all through this time I had been getting therapy since I was 14, so the issue persisted. I plan to go to grad school to become a therapist. Therapy does help but symptoms can persist.
yeah i’ve noticed i do that too. one time i saw my neighbor taking a walk in my neighborhood while i was walking my dog so i just went the other way, even though it was the opposite way i was supposed to be going. i think about it a lot for some reason. like why am i so scared to talk to someone if the WORST that can happen id they say hi or wherever and i say something stupid. even if that does happen, there’s no real consequence at all, but i’m so scared of it. it sucks
I remember doing that since my childhood. Actually other people find your behaviour awkward, I remember there were multiple people telling me that I was an asshole hating them, even without speaking with them except for 'hi-bye' relationship, because I was scared to talk to them. When I got closer with them, they told me "I thought you were an asshole or duochebag". Too bad I can't find any treatment to it on the internet, except for complains that they have the same thing and how it ruins their social life.
Ok I used to be like this until I went to therapy. I’m also 19 and know exactly how you feel; that’s how my freshman year of university went. Things can get better if you get help and change your thoughts.
Find out why you feel this way and go from there.
Yes. I walked 15 minutes to the toilets in the gym to avoid using the shared toilets in my flat
@@coloringbunnies1273 it's really tough! I've always just wished I could be normal
It's "funny" this is recommended to me today. I had came to the realization that I avoid social interactions because it "feels better" to simply avoid people/social interaction because if I don't engage at all I don't have to worry about people ghosting me or fearing that I might say the wrong thing.
I feel the same way 💟 I never give them the chance
Me too...
That is really dumb
@@redfather5342 how so?
same
They say "don't diagnose yourself" and for most people I feel like that might be a pretty good rule to go by. But I also think it's important to question your therapist and not be afraid to correct them. No one is capable knowing more about you than yourself.
So correct ..I'd say if any person seeking help is open to co dependecy ,then there are therapist that lock others in to 5 years of visits..
The therapists fear of lack
I don' t know about that.
If anyone sees this i hope you’re doing ok 😊
Same goes to you!
Thank you , same to you too💖
Thanks bro same to you
Thank you! I hope ur doing ok too! :)
Right back at you ♡♡
Many years have I struggled with depression, anxiety, apd, and sad. It was horrible constantly feeling judged and inadequate. Now that I’m in my 60s, it’s gotten easier to deal with, most of the time. I do stay to myself still, it’s just easier than dealing with the anxiety. I was always considered very smart and very pretty. I got really good at redirecting others when they started focusing on me. It’s so exhausting though….and the rehashing of any conversations running through my head later.
I thought I was smart too until I found out I was just too anxious and over thinking. That "smart" is just a way to escape or hide my own anxiety.
Though I can’t be sure, I wouldn’t be surprised if I have this. I have been rejected or used by so many people in my life including family that I have trouble getting to know people or suffer anxiety. I also don’t feel intimacy with people as I have lacked a lot of emotional connection with people in my life. It makes me lonely, but I know no one will really accept me for who I am and I rather be alone than used as I have been. I have very low expectations with people that when they leave my life, as they usually do, I am not surprised. I have been told one thing by people, but when push comes to shove they reject me and think only of themselves, but I’m the one that has to make sacrifices all the time. I am tired of people.
I understand you. So much.
I completely understand how that feels. I have felt that my whole life.
Start thinking about yourself.
You first above them.
Be egoist.
Who can save you but yourself?
I identify with some of this. I know people like that, who think only of themselves, and I have been in the situation of being the one who made sacrifices all the time and it wasn't appreciated, by two close relatives. I understand why you are tired of people. I feel the exact same way about these relatives.
@@howardcoles3537 Omg yes. People who don't care about your time and cancel plans last minute or ignore you most of the time and yet I am too scared to ask what their problem is.
I don't want to seem needy or even more emotionally unstable than I am or be a burden which I obviously am...
I feel lonely at every place where I met people. I don't keep in touch with the majority of them. I've become a stranger.
Sorry, this might sound confusing.
So basically my whole life is a personality disorder
Yeah but who likes criticism? Everyone gets all of the symptoms highlighted here from time to time. It's called life.
Don't let it define you any more than necessary. Spend a lot of time learning yourself and fill the void that other people would have with personal meaning. People like us can be very happy living private lives, so long as you find some kind of social contact that you can dip-feed yourself.
With intermittent toilet breaks🌀
@@starlord2112 but there's a difference between having the signs once in a while compared to having it fuck up your life
@@witchby7420 Yes.
I’ve noticed being like this that people in my life take it personal like I don’t want to be around them or don’t love them, they don’t realize how hard it is to simply be around people out of fear of being judged/embarrassed
When you’re told not to self diagnose but you don’t have the courage to tell your parents you may need to see someone because you don’t think they’d take you seriously
Do you have a family physician? Maybe you can talk to him without your parents present.
Henk - yeah that’d be nice if they didn’t immediately tell the parents what you told them afterwards
Actually, I am kind of against this advice as a general rule. I have diagnosed double depression since 2017 and started to feel depressed with the beginning of my puberty, which was back in 2007.
Someone usually notices when something is wrong - and so did I. I actually spent a whole evening reading through the ICD-10 finding one diagnosis which perfectly fits my behaviour / problems and told my psychologist and psychiatrist about that matter and they both agreed on that.
In the end, you're just telling the doctors what you think you're suffering from and they'll decide according to diagnostic guidelines and rating scales whether your suspicion is correct or not.
I'd highly recommend you to seek help; the sooner, the better! For me, it took 10 years (didn't want my parents and ex-girlfriend to know) - and I somehow regret it that I took so long although antidepressants and behavioural therapy didn't work for me at all because my life would have taken a different path for sure.
All the best for you.
You won't know until you do, so take action.
@Quick Gaming this is exactly in my mind
WE cannot change what we are not aware of. But once we are aware, we cannot help but change or get help. It will always get better 🖖
Awareness, awareness, awareness is the key and what we are not aware controls us.
That's deep- wow
Why would you want to change who you are so you can be just like everyone else that is the disorder trying to tell people there is something wrong with them because they are different i don't want to be like everyone else I'm normal being an individual
@@platiipusgaming6475 no it's not it's retarded to think there is something wrong with you because of someone else's opinion on how they think you should be
We avoid situations/people if we don't like. We can't go against the gravity of the negative energy. They just want to give a symbol to describe characters. For example a Tree is not a tree, it has branhces, roots, trunk. We all avoid certain situations and procrastinate. www.selfhelpchampion.com
My diagnosis is AvPD and Depression, and I always find it difficult to explain AvPD, so I'm glad theres videos like these to give more information on the thing ^^ have a nice day.
I feel this so bad....I literally just turned down on going to a movie night with friends I don't see in a while because its a lot of people and I cut my hair really short and I'm super afraid of the reactions...I hate that I do this all the time, I usually refuse on going to social events...I genuinely want to be with them but when theres also people I'm not that close with and I'm not totally confortable with, I get scared and I just end up making some excuse...I really shouldn't do this...I hate it here...
You have to decide if it's worth it. I did that for years, making myself sick with worry and pushing myself to go to events and parties. It seems like the wrong choice to cut yourself off, especially with dating. And it probably is, if the idea and action of socializing didn't make you even more sick. I pushed myself for 20 years, did therapy for 5 of those years. Then I just stopped. I stopped dating, and I stopped trying to be part of the group. Found a job where I can work alone. My anxiety is at an all time low, but managing loneliness and finding the right amount of social contact through close friends and family is challenging.
Ik the feeling. I flake too when my anxiety flares w seeing friends and new ppl. Trust me, it’s never as bad as you’ll imagine it will be! Exposure therapy works best, but you really have to force yourself to sit through it and breathe. Somehow it’s never gotten easier for me, but idk. A lot of times I just force myself to go so I don’t fall into a bad habit of avoiding TOO much
Yeah I'm glad I don't have friends or use any social media shit that zoomers use like tiktoks and snapchats and whatever because people make me anxious and also those apps are retarded, currently I'm just playing a game called totally accurate battle grounds, go to school and watch TH-cam. I'm also about to be 18 in like a year and honestly I do not want or need a job, il just live off welfare here in finland. Thank you government ( :
that's brutal man
i'm diagnosed with this, and its cool to see more vids on it as it's not covered as much as cluster B disorders for example. great video!
What is the treatment?
Diagnosed by someone that thinks there is something wrong with you when in lreality you are normal they are the ones with the problem
@@amana1480 Treatment is the same type that's used to treat social phobia. exposure and talk therapy, with medication if the patient suffers from other disorders as well. sadly i can't say i've had much success with just talk therapy but im doing cbt now. we'll see how that goes. medication helped in reducing everyday anxiety at least. especially the OCD.
@@mtk3668 I'm not diagnosed with this but I realize I have it. What do you think the chances of treatment are and living a fulfilling life with the condition?
@@yulnikita desensitization helps a lot, its like treating a phobia, not everyone is going to abuse you or judge you harshly, you just have to go out and find them. i was abused by a lot of cluster b personality disorders, so learning how to cope with that helps too, like not internalizing destructive criticism. i have cptsd too, talk therapy is really bad for people with cptsd, it keeps us in trauma recall.
So my close friend mentioned this before and what’s so crazy is how i’ve been avoiding people since high school. Deep down i’m outgoing but constantly being overlooked AND ignored hurt me… Now i don’t want to be around anyone. i’m scared of love.
This is literally me that you so much for this video you have no idea
Hope this video helped!
You don't have a disorder the disorder is them trying to make you like everyone else be an individual don't be like everyone else there is nothing wrong with you the problem is with the ones who tell you how they think you should be and telling you you're not normal and therefore have a disorder
@@TH-camforcedmetochangemyname Can you write with punctuation, please? I can't understand whatever you're trying type and your sentences are so jumbled its irritating.
Might not wanna identify with the disorder.
Why do people overuse the word "literally"? 😒
I literally just got ghosted by someone who is avoidant, things were really good between us but he just suddenly stopped talking to me. I guess I should have seen it coming and I shouldn’t be mad at him.
Best you can do is to be epically patient with them :) The Avoidant won't ghost you when they feel 100% safe around you. With my best friend it took me 3 months to feel that way about him, and now we've been solid friends for 8 years. He means the world to me, so unless your friend really doesn't want you in their life (which is sometimes the case for any human), I say go easy on them, DON'T pressure them to come out, let them do things at their exact pace and you may have a friend for life who will be eternally grateful to you 💗
@@whitewitch44 Will do! Thanks for the advice :)
it used to upset me every time he insulted me like that, i was scared to speak to him again because of it
I got ghosted by someone who I had previously helped.
I’m an avoidant, we do fear happiness quite a lot and due to our low self esteem, we believe we aren’t worthy for potential love partners. He probably was paranoid that you didn’t like him.
I just hate how people seem so shallow, I just want someone who seems to think deeper
Facts
You sound like an introvert in need of deeper connections with people.
YES Exactly what I am thinking
Then think deep and never talk. How deep is deep. People who think too deep kill themselves sometimes.
This is what drives me up the wall too. A lot of it is bourne out of conversations not worth being had in my eyes for lack substance
It’s so sad to be like this that I cried watching it. 😢
Are you ok?
i cri cause i think its tru :0
Aww. Hugs!!!!
Yea me too
why do u have this disorder? ur beautiful,. i thought only ugly and inadequate people get it,,,, i dunno what people have done to you in the past, but i doubt its actual real rejection, but ur probably jus misinterpretting them wrong
Isn't this caused by trauma the person has suffered in the past, mostly from relationships?
From their early life experience
That’s a great question! Aren’t most personality disorders caused by trauma from early childhood?
Yes It can develop at any moment in our lives.
The gravity of the disorder depends on the type of trauma/experience we encountered. But it can be treated/healed since it's not a genetic disorder, but more a psychological defense mechanism.
Eva V excellent information! Thank you!
In my case, yes
That really ruined my relationship with my parents. I make them so sad sometimes because i act like a jerk. My mom always tells me to be better, especially while having dinner or after because this is the only time of the day we get to sit and talk. She cried several times because of me and i don't want to see her cry anymore. I wrote this so that i can remember what i said whenever someone likes my comment. I'm trying so hard to change but i'm still failing, i don't to be a failure to the eyes of my parents.
dude i always thought i was just extremely shy around people i dont know. but every single point of this fits, never even been close to an intimate relationship, because i dont let it happen, only have like 2 friends and never talk to anyone else if not needed and ferel like im worth less than everyone else. might need to see a doctor..
what do u do in ur free time? jus wondering, because as an alone hermit who jus play videos games n watch youtube... im starting to get bored
really bored
Y'all have been posting a lot lately and I'm certainly not complaining
Yes, we want to help more people while it's summer :)
When I go out, I feel like everyone is looking at me. Even if I try to think differently, I can't. My brain freezes, I can't look left or right. I feel like every action I take can be criticized. This is the problem I've had for 33 years.
My sister is psychology student and she say i has "personality disorder" and after i watch this video, I already confirmed that my sister assumption about me is true. 🙂
How did you convince your parents to see a psychiatrist?
Wrong what they calls disorder is just you not being some cookie cutout of what they think you should be but you are an individual not a clone of everyone else you don't have a disorder because you aren't like them IDC if your sister is a phsyh whatever
ItzNova Dimension
You want advice? Don’t wait for your „parents“ to allow you to seek help, but do it with someone you trust so you don’t end up tricked by disgusting maggots that seem like human
@@lexmortis5722 I dont know I don't want them to make fun of me because I ask if I could go see a psychiatrist, so I think I am just not going to say anything and move on I guess
ItzNova Dimension
Nononononononononononono. I have apd and bpd, DONT suffer in silence, those who laugh are nothing than ignorant maggots that should get stomped. Please, I beg you, talk to a doc, they won’t laugh at you and if they do, you can sue them for it. Please don’t just ignore it like me. I am on the verge of killing myself because I opened up to late. Don’t wait, it is important, even if you think it is not. I will checkin in a week and ask you if you did it if you want to :)
The worst part is that when you try to come out of your shell, you will draw people who will make you feel inadequate and discard you, bcs you unconsciously continue pattern from early childhood. So better just avoid again 😔
@Joan Hackett Fan Stand up to the hammer hitting you and they come back with an anvil.
true true
If they discard you that ez, it means you are nothing to them. You might be wishful thinking they r your friends but in reality, they barely know you. It takes time to develop relationships. So fake friends is like no friends. And you don't need them.
too all guys that take this too hard: don't take this too hard. I believe most of the people are some type of avoidant others might react super outgoing and 'fake' to new environments and both are coping mechanisms because we don't want to make mistakes and be as 'perfect' as possible to other people (so opt. 1 is not doing anything to not make mistakes and opt. 2 is being the clown to impress). I too struggle with being avoidant to social situations but it gets better and better the older I get. I believe everything comes at the right time in your life so keep your head up, expose yourself to your anxiety in ways you're comfortable with but most importantly: don't blame yourself for being you because only you being you is the best or 'perfect' version of yourself.
No you gotta work on being comfortable with being uncomfortable
thats the whole point
Is it just me or one day you want to be happy and the next you’re scared to or don’t want to be? I’m not sure why I feel like this but I’m confusing myself.
I remember my psychiatrist telling me i am now diagnosed with Avoidant, OC and borderline personality disorders with social anxiety and severe depression. That's how i ended up in his office. But i've been feeling better and i know myself better since watching Psych2Go, i am grateful for you guys to let me learn so much about myself.
The fact that society pressurises us so much to behave or look in certain way to the point we never feel complete..this is really frustrating..I have struggled so much as I have been criticised for my shortcomings and looks from quite an early age..that just messes you up.
I find it funny how comments are different when you put disclaimers at the beginning and in the end of the video :3
How so? :)
Usually, there are more "That's totally me!" or "I didn't know I had this issue!" comments
I can’t tell if it’s just coincidence or I am being spied on- *this literally sounds like me and I’m scared*
Same, I'm lowkey terrified ngl
@The Wolf King you do you I guess🤷🏽♀️
Nope u dont have this
welcome to the 21st century
Sounds like psychosis but basing this on 1 line saying ur worrying about being spied on
Recipe for AvPD:
- underdeveloped executive functioning skills (aka undiagnosed ADHD)
- family environment unintentionally encouraging anxiety about everything ("be careful!!")
Mix well & bake for 2 or more decades. Take out of the oven in the middle of a pandemic when everyone is avoiding everything, making it extra difficult to overcome AvPD. 🙄
Tbh,I have none of those recipes
Indeed,I was never told to have ADHD
literally me. Was officially diagnosed last year and high amounts of anxiety from a survival-mode upbringing 🥲
Not sure I have AvPD. But I’m sure as hell avoidant. Any tips on changing this?
same experience
Bro get out of my kitchen how'd you find that recipe 😭
Ur videos rlly help me underststand not just myself but others too, thank you :)
No worries! Keep watching =)
Okay so is there a personality disorder for this scenario? I am deliberately avoiding people outside, not responding to texts, extremely aware of my surroundings to the point where I’m constantly looking around me and being extremely cautious of other people around me, never wanting to go out unless necessary, not even willing to text or facetime my closest friends, and all I feel like doing is staying home and chilling on my own.
I have no idea what’s going on. Shit started happening ever since quarantine started.
yeah idk i feel basically the exact same as you and it’s been going on for a couple years now. at some point you sort of accept that you’re gonna be alone more than you think you want to be at first. that’s because everyone for some reason thinks it’s a bad thing it be an introvert. just be you and do what YOU enjoy and it should be ok.( also idk why i’m giving u advice i’m in the exact situation as you and i need to practice what i preach more honestly) but i understand how hard it is to be around people because you think they’re all thinking about you or whatever. just know you’ll be better at some point.
Not a personality disorder, it's going on for 2 years only. Have your ever experienced trauma?
Situational depression
That’s depression and trauma not this disorder
Thanks!
It’s the chicken or the egg - I act this way, but it’s due to years & years of rejection from everyone... you just get to the point where “if everyone doesn’t like me, what’s the point?” 🤷🏻♀️
Exactly 🗣
i'm positive I have this. this describes me completely. at first I thought I may have social anxiety, but honestly this is what accurately describes what i go through on a day to day basis. I cut off all my friends and I'm hyper sensitive to criticism to where I don't attempt to make friends. I also don't go out at all and I show the other traits of this disorder.
I’ve always concluded that my social issues were merely the result of being an introvert. However, I sought more information because the problem has severely impacted my life. It has affected my ability to form relationships. It has affected the direction of my career. Over the last 10 years or so I have even avoided jobs that require interaction with too many people. My current job is mostly remote, and that’s the primary reason I took it!! And the reason is because I have this unnatural obsession with believing that people don’t like me. I think they don’t like the way I look, or sound. That they think I’m boring or even stupid when I talk. I over-analyze every interaction I have with people. I always walk away wondering what they really think of me. To avoid feeling uncomfortable I just don’t interact with people much. I have finally accepted that this isn’t just introversion or shyness. This is an abnormal way of thinking and behaving. The next step is to seek help. However, the disorder has even prevented me from doing that, because I’m even afraid of what the therapist will think. FML 🤦🏾♀️
If you can share your story here, you can also do it to a therapist! Imagine how much your life will improve if you do. I believe in you!
Actually you psy2go team are the best!
Every time I watch one of your videos,my anxiety gets lower & lower
Is it weird that hearing the traits of the disorder and hearing that I line up with them made me smile cause I felt understood/heard?
No, it's completely not weird..... Thnks to psych2go for shedding some light on this disorder, or I would have never known that there are people out there too that relate to these kind of feelings🌸...... I feel sooo much understood right now
Athena X saddest part is though I don’t know what caused it to manifest in the first place or what to do about it. Only thing I know is that it’s slowly gotten worse over time
@@QGonline I don't know either😔.... I considered reading books meant to improve confidence n how to socialize (but I m too lazy).......i hope you will overcome it someday n live ur life to the fullest 💗
Athena X thanks, same to you
That's not how I felt. It makes my chest hurt and I feel like crying.
I discovered I had this around 23. It took a while bc I had to dig deeper and deeper when I saw my “social anxiety” was 24/7 instead of situationally, and I wasn’t growing out of my “social anxiety” like my peers were. AvPD has been the most challenging and painful part to my life, but with acceptance and loved ones around, it’s become manageable for me, thankfully. glad to see awareness slowly coming to surface
Do you have any specific tips to help overcome?
social anxiety is a symptom of the disorder
@@abyss5883 it is, but people who only have social anxiety can overcome it pretty easily in comparison to someone with a personality disorder
I'd love to see a whole series on the personality disorders. Everyone tends to focus only on 3/4 of the cluster b ones and completely ignores all of the others.
Dr Grande is on Utube. He is really good 👍
Can we take a second to appreciate the art style 😍
It's good right?
It truly is!
i was just recommended by my psychiatrist to look this up because she thinks i have it and im so glad theres a video about it so i can learn more. thanks!
I think there are a lot more of these personality types than we think. Maybe some less intense than others, but there are definitely a lot. I see it with my own interactions with other people.
I have been ghosted so many times by new people I just met, who I thought could be a potential friend, or even weeks/months into knowing them. Ghosted for their reason, but I never knew what the hell for.
I used to blame myself and sit and think what I did and maybe so should have said this or that or been more “cooler” for them to stay...
I finally came to my senses that it’s not always about me, more so them and trying to hold up a friendship.
This has been happening my whole life... so guess what happens, I developed it too in the last few years... working on it. BUT it sucks, I want people, I want interactions.
I’ve always felt like this, I’m glad I’m not alone
After my fathers death when I was 17 my spirit essentially died which led me to spiral into a waste of a human being and I’ve been merely existing ever since. I’m 24 now. I haven’t had a single girlfriend, have only talked to a few in general, don’t have a career or any goals, and am basically just waiting until after my dog dies to end my own life. I can relate with the description you gave a ton. I avoid social situations and spend 95% of my time at home basically doing nothing or playing video games. I’m just a waste really and it’s a shame someone else can’t just take over for me. Once my dog is gone it’s finally gonna be time to stop wasting space. It’s too late for me to turn things around but I do hope others can be better than me and I recommend seeking help from a professional. Don’t let this consume you
Hope you are still alive and doing better. I’m so sorry that you felt that level of pain. God bless you
Psych2Go: You should not diagnose yourself or someone if you think they have APD
Also me(an introvert potato w/ no social skills): Maybe I have APD
trueee
Same
Soo many people self diagnose and it's never good because they give themselves a false diagnosis. most of the time they don't even have the diagnosis.
This yt acc is literally a safe haven for introverts lol
No someone else's view on how you should be to be normal isn't a disorder it's their problem not yours you are how you are supposed to be an individual not a cookie cut out like they think you should be
As a person who is diagnosed I couldn´t say it being an extrovert is compatible with APD, I have lost so many opportunities for relationships (social and love) because I felt not being able to adapt to the situation. Even when for me feels nice to meet other people and have fun conversation what you will most feel is wanting to run away from there.
I Feel you. I’m extremely extroverted but only because it’s like I want to please people. Once I realize I can’t do that without not being me , I shy away and try to tell myself those people don’t matter and they aren’t “ real “ . It’s weird cause I know I like them somewhere in my heart but without acceptance I almost loose all hope
The running away don't last long. Eventually it's disappear when you know the person better. Hold on ☺
For me, the biggest realization about APD and social anxiety (which I was wrongly told to have so many times) was, that APD just convinces you, that you're the ultimate annoyance and burden without the stress over it. It's really the differenc between "Will I be annoying if I joined in this group's conversation?" in contrast to "I'm despisable, and I will do them a favor if I'm not joining in."
Sometimes, avoiding people means valuing peace. Many are just there to bring too much drama and negativity in your life. Better avoid them. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
I love this comment. You are absolutely right.
I'll never understand how people are addicted to noise and trash.
But this is different than that.
Yeah, exactly. People can also force you to not be yourself as well. Another reason why I’ve stopped bothering. I know there are people out there who don’t do that, but I’ll never meet them.
True. However this is different.
I dated and fell in love with a woman with APD. Super painful. I tried to love her through it, but didn’t learn APD is intractable until she had completely pushed me away and I was left devastated and 💔 I almost committed suicide three different t times over losing her. I still feel excruciating emotional pain thinking about her and missing her. Heavy sigh
When I watch this video it hits me right in the feels, probably because of the cute artstyle that make me feel safe. I love this
You sound calm, satisfying, you're helpful, you make me smile, you help me cope with depression, you help me understand for who I am, you did many more, thank you. ♡❀✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*
So glad!
Being avoidant in general is my protective factor as a hypersensitive person. There are too many stimulants outside.
I relate to this all too well as I realize that I have pushed many good people away who have wanted nothing more than to be my friend.
I hope one day this will pass because it's not a good place to be.
To be honest, I used to be like this a lot. I still have troubles with intimacy but I’m glad I’ve gotten over my fears for the most part.❤️❤️
Happy to hear! Hope it still goes better :)
Gurl tell me your secret I'm wondering
I avoid other people, NOT because I'm afraid of rejection but because I don't particularly like people. It's rare to find "down-to-Earth" people but those are the people I'm drawn to and most comfortable with.
That’s a healthy state though. Everyone is entitled to finding their tribe and building their happiness their own way. The problem with the avoidants is that they don’t trust others, yet feel entitled to others trust and are not willing to self reflect and blame the world for continually disappointing them
Same here.
Every time I let my guard down, and open-up to people, they fekked me over.
I learned to just push people away, because I don’t need the stress.
Agreed!!!😁👍🏼🙏🏼
I feel you!
Well congrats you don’t have this disorder
To All Who Have this Avoidant Detachment issue. WE ALL KNOW HOW HARD IT IS. WE DO REALLY WANT TO LOVE AND BE LOVED, BUT THE PAIN IS SO UNBEARABLE. It makes life a bit livable not to be attached. Sadly, we are good and we also extend our love, protection, and thoughtfullness to people. Yes WE CARE. As soon as we feel you are doing okay/well/better, and safe, it is time to let you go. We also have a high emotional qoutient (sympathy and empathy). This video gave me answers why it so easy and fast i can switch off my feelings to anything. I hope you all may find happiness, satisfaction, success, fullfillment while we are in this lifetime. Who knows we might have another lifetime. It is just weird that I am more hopeful about the after earth life. I'm not suicidal just to be clear, but I couldn't care anyless if I die or suffer while I'm still breathing.
This lady's voice is what is played in heaven 😭
No. Voice is nice but it is spoken here very robotically
I appreciate her information, but she sounded like she was reading the dialogue.
I saw a comment that said 17 hours ago meanwhile this video just posted 3 minutes ago. I'm so confused WHAT?
these videos are often posted earlier but in private, so only a few people can view them. That might be how psych2go are able to 'post' videos that require a lot of effort, multiple times a week.
Patreon supporters have early access.
I don't have a fear of criticism or rejection. I have a fear of people harming me because of past traumatic relationships. Now I can't trust anyone or maintain relationships, or even leave my house other to go to work. The self imposed isolation and fear of intimate relationships hits the same.
I live alone and today cleaned my windows for the first time in two years.
I felt like this my entire life and I didn't know this was a thing, I can't self diagnose myself but I'm relieved to see that other people feel this way and that I'm not alone in this
After years of horrendous up bringing, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We’re stuck with this outlook.
If people have this, they don't have an enjoyable life. 😔
Enjoyable life means different things to different people,fool💭
I have APD myself and i really enjoy not being around people 🤷🏻♀️
@@gretel1986 then you don't have apd
I love being on my own, people wear me out.
@@blackphillip564 why do you say that.
I have avoidant personality disorder with traits of borderline personality disorder but I can definitely say that 5 years of therapy helped A LOT, I still have that voice in my head going "you're not doing enough" "you're not as good at this as someone else will be" "your opinion isn't as important" etc but I tell myself I am and I am definitely feeling much much better, sometimes I literally cry when I fail at something but instead of running away I just try to be as open as possible and set clear boundaries. Good luck everyone!
this sounds more like imposter syndrome rather than avpd but i am no professional
@@ghostbuster.. I have the official diagnosis of avoidant pd, very preoccupied of what others think of me and always think it's negative and heavy fear of rejection with a lot of isolation, rather not do something because I fear I will fail and people will laugh at me etc but yea imposter syndrome and avoidant pd have some overlap, the difference is that with personality disorders is that there is a clear long on going pattern of the same behaviour if someone only sometimes or in 1 specific area of their live experiences this it is not necessarily a personality disorder, I would not go to school because I got bullied and laughed at, I would not go to work for the same fear of it, I am very distant in close relationships for the same fear, I have difficulty openly talking to someone unless I believe they like me, which might seem contradicting because I share all this but there are so many times I type something and then delete it again because I fear someone's reaction, it is getting better though but small steps.
@@letsplayg I see. I'm really sorry that you have to go through such thing and i completely understand as I've also had it my entire life but it's never taken srsly and nobody understands,,i hope it's okay to ask but how do you deal with it? even if it's just small steps i would still like to know,,
@@ghostbuster.. My next comment is very long so it's ok if you don't read it, Thank you for your compassion.
What helps me is accepting that mistakes are ok, cognitive thinking: if someone laughs at me it says more about them than me, when stuck in negative thinking realise that even if it's all true constantly obsessing about it isn't gonna get you anywhere, when you recognize a pattern try to do the opposite of what you feel, expose yourself to rejection and sit with the feelings and be kind to yourself but realise you're not a victim or inadequate, the more you feel triggered the more you should try to deal with it right away: if you cry at work and feel so ashamed instead of not going, keep going, ask for help and express your emotions, escapism is good but don't lose grip on reality, you might have different views and that is good but reality is different: example you have been through a lot so it is understandable you struggle but only with hard work will you get rewards just like anyone if you want money you need to work, if you want connection you need to be more open, don't expect special treatment and realize avoiding is not healthy even though it is what feels best, face problems head on even if it makes you extremely uncomfortable, lots of people don't truly know what they are doing it is normal, acknowledge that inner critic and tell it that it's not true, do acts of service and express gratitude, realize that people their intentions often aren't to hurt you but to help you and most importantly take your time it might take you years to break this and change but you can only change yourself not others an exercise I had to do at therapy was ask 10 people what they thought about me and this was scary but in my head it was way more negative than they said, reality was some saw me as kind and others wouldn't be friends but felt indifferent, I got/get judged for being weird the instant people see me and I always thought it was my fault but what were they judging on? I am definitely weird though but is that a negative character trait? Someone who disliked me at therapy based on my sexuality/looks (gay) actually got to know me and realised we were way more alike than he thought. Hope this somewhat helps.
I'm 21, and I'm starting to realize how much of my youth I have wasted away, it's really time to stop.
I'm on a friendly basis with strangers I see regularly eg. Cashiers at my local grocery store.
That's how I try and stay social.
why are people expectant of me and my behavior in the first place? I'm considered unique to me, so how can anyone else tell me I have an avoidant personality disorder of any kind? Who decides what is normal today? Have you seen society?
it's never feeling comfortable with other people. it's double guessing every thing you said on the drive home, when you do go out. It's telling yourself that you'd rather be alone because it's easier. I think I recognize the symptoms
I would like to see a video on how ADD/ADHD and the sometimes accompanied hypersensitivity and emotional liability affects your mental health and your everyday life because most people still think it's ONLY about not being able to concentrate or not being able to sit still.
OMG yes! lol. Everyone only talks about the "quirky" parts of having ADD/ADHD but theres so much more. My friends make fun of my inability to pay attention but it KILLS me inside when I cant have conversations because I can't remember shit about anyone cuz I wasn't paying attention or just forgot.
sometimes you're hurting so much and so alone and sad, you don't know what to call it anymore. Living while dead?
Dead while living! 👍🏻☮️💟
I know I’m not supposed to self-diagnose, but this video just perfectly described me. I grew up in the country and went to school in a very small town. I lost all my friends in Jr. High when I was no longer “cool”. Mostly due to the fact that I didn’t enjoy sports and wasn’t a good athlete. In rural America, athleticism is the measure by which you are judged. I was accused of being “gay” (I’m not), and ruthlessly bullied and teased. It is something that has stuck with me to this day. I still live in the community, and run my family farm, but I have very little interaction with people except those I absolutely need to interact with for business. I’m used to it by now, so I guess it will never change.
I hate my personality so much i feel like I'm the most boring human being on this planet which is why i never even try to make new friends because they'll just get bored of me and leave ☹️
What about "How to cope and recover after surviving a suicide attempt?" It happened to me 2 weeks ago..
Sorry to hear that but a suicide attempt must be taken seriously and professional help is needed, eg doctor or mental health organisation. Life goes up and down for us all, suicide is not the answer. I’ll say a prayer 🙏.
Do take care ... it'll be fine really...
Everything is transient. Just exist, and let time work its magic. You can't imagine a world where you'll feel joy again, but its coming and nothing can stop it except you taking your life and robbing time.
i would advise you to seek professional help. you shouldn’t be on your own with your problems ❤️
'who constantly feels inadequate, is hypersensitive to criticism, and avoids social interactions.'
*ah. i see. you have described me exactly.*
Can you discuss the defense mechanism “Projection?”
Ill discuss it ,when and if I'm ready🀄
Thanks for making this video. I recognize myself in this, a lot. I might have APD, or not. I don't really know how a diagnosis with APD would change anything. I guess it would just mean I'd have a new label for my symptoms. I'm currently in therapy for social anxiety, so the problems I have are being addressed either way.
Avoiding has become second nature to me. It's my primary coping mechanism and reaction to situations that trigger my fears. I'm fine on my own most of the time because it's safer like this. But I'm really lonely. Just lonely. Life is flat like this and my relationships stay very superficial, because I can't let anyone in. I don't even know _how_ to be vulnerable, or at least that's what it feels like. I have lots of ideas for what I want my life to look like. I know what to do, I just never do it. Never actually take any steps. I'm tired of constantly having to push myself.
Hey, you okay? The past two years have been very bad for the entire world, except for the ones with APD. 😂😂😂. Things are going to change for better from this point forward. APD is not such a huge disorder. If you don't like something or someone, staying away from them is the commonsense thing to do. Some people need friends and a crowd around them. Some just don't. That's all. So, don't push yourself or do anything that you are not comfortable with.
@@smcv8365Horrible advice
When invited to Social settings, I would make up an excuse just not to be present. However, when I can't avoid social settings, I pretend to be happy, and make people laugh because I'm quite good with humor, but deep down inside, I'm not happy being there. Once upon a time being called ugly and being made fun of, use to make me cry, but now I cry no more because crying is useless, and it doesn't change anything. Apparently, I have become emotionally strong.
i always knew i had a problem and now i have found it. I have had all these ''symptoms'' from a young age. Good to know btw what this is exactly and how it is called. Thank you for your vids!
This disorder destroys my whole life... I hate it so much
I have a childhood friend that exhibits these traits it's very sad because no matter how hard you try to pull them out this shell, he'll becomes more emotionally defiant.
I mean to be frank, for introverts like me, we don't actually make an impact in a social group. And that makes it way more difficult to have partners. Even if we stop responding for a long time, no one feels any sort of emotions. So, if you dont have people who understands you for what you are, do not beg of it. Just do what you love and live your life as fully as you can. Because living life to the fullest is subjective .