I haven't replied to too many comments just yet. Firstly I was nervous to read, then as I scanned through the first day - could see they weren't as unkind as I expected. Then as I started processing through, I felt overwhelmed from the other perspective - the kindness. I find compliments really hard to process, I don't ask for compliments (or general-good comments). I'm finding it hard to reply and know what to say. Ultimately, I am grateful. I know there's other things to add, such as how it's not all bad - I've replied to one big comment elsewhere on this video about the good in posting. Maybe I should create a video on that. I am blown away by this comment section, truly. Thank you.
Just found your channel, I struggle with compliments, I sometimes feel that a someone is being nice to me to then do something bad. This is something that I am working on. Your doing good :)
The fact that you have picked yourself up after countless times of being knocked down proves you ARE an inspiration. You being so brave to share your struggles with us helps more than you know. Thank you for being you. ❤
I now regret not commenting on your videos more often. I genuinely come to your channel to see how you're doing. I've gotten super excited when you've shared good things and you are smiling, and seeing your hair at shoulder length gives me so much joy. I also got worried when you stopped posting as often, but just continued praying you were alright and hopefully healing, even if it was slowly and little by little, experiencing your life so fully that you didn't have time to document it anymore. I remember watching you for the first time as a teenager (I'm now 28), and listening to you talk about your struggles helped me put words to my own feelings when they were too overwhelming. Growing up in an abusive family, with my friends having a much lighter and different reality to mine, made me feel very lonely, until I heard you being honest about your own struggles and pain. For so long it gave me comfort to watch someone not push happiness on themselves, but refusing to give up either. Our realities are different, and objectively speaking I don't really know you, though to me, it feels like you're an old friend. Thank you for being so brave through the hurtful things people have done and said. I pray you continue to fufill your purpose and realize how many people you've inspired. And that's our life, we'll be loved and hated without trying, and I'm so sorry you have been through so much criticism from people used to not even being sincere with themselves and the people they love. If at any point you decide to stop posting for good, I think some of us would truly understand and respect it, but if you don't, I'll be glad to continue listening to your ups and downs, hoping and praying for your perseverance through it all. You definetely are worthy and enough, Becca. 🤍 I wish the price you had to pay for sharing your journey wasn't so high, but thank you for letting us witness this whole process.
I remember once saying something on what used to be twitter and some hate account found me & tried to convince me awful things about you based on some creepy forum. They are so loud, so persistent and so obsessive. It's wrong & I really can't imagine what it's like to be those hateful people. I've watched you for years & I find watching you a comfort. I think you put life into words very well. I feel like I've commented this before, but in 2020 you were so helpful to me because you were honest about how hard it was. And I felt like I wasn't alone. Life felt very impossible and still does. I just don't understand why people can't just let shit lie. I'm really sorry. Thank you for sharing for so long. x
@@beckiejbrown Yes, we all do that, looking back, at least those of us with any self-awareness and an iota of conscience. OP here said something similar to what I said in my own comment, but said it better than I did. I think what's important to remember is the statistics of human psychology, which include the fact that 4% of humanity is statistically sociopathic, and 1% is psychopathic. That's 1 in 20 people with no moral compass. If you think about it, 1 in 20 people who are content or even excited to hurt people can have a massive impact by being vocal and determined while others might not consistently think to express the kindness they feel in their heads, especially if they are hesitant since doing so frequently draws the attention and ire of those 1s in 20, who want you to be isolated, unsupported, and suffering. I think, perhaps, the best way to put it is that, while some may hate-watch you and make sure you know they're doing it, I think the majority of us are actually love-watching you and we just don't generally think to say so, perhaps thinking the views or thumbs suffice to communicate our appreciation.
I’ve been watching you for about 10 years and I always look forward to see how you’re doing because you keep it real and post both good and bad. Your content makes me feel human and understood, like we’re all in it together. I cannot believe that so many people dislike you and go to such lenghts to do you harm! Makes no sense.
I don't comment much because I am always nervous I'll just come across as a bit odd, haha. But I want to help in drowning out the people who say unkind things - because you certainly don't deserve that and I want to add to the voices that are appreciative of who you are and what you do. I stumbled across your videos when I was much younger, and it was like a breath of fresh air. At the time, I didn't know, but I have ADHD (recently diagnosed at 30). And my whole life it was a struggle to understand why I couldn't seem to do things the way others could. Everything overwhelmed me - I would push and push and push and I did achieve great things - but they would never last. I would get horribly burnt out, not understand why I couldn't maintain myself, and just slip right back down. I've had to pull myself up more times than I can count, and never really feel settled or stable. Watching your videos, I could see a woman like me. Someone who was (and still is) so bright, vibrant, intelligent, a little quirky, and talented. Someone who worked very hard, and yet still would get knocked down. And the way you could articulate your thoughts made me understand my own better. You could put words to things I didn't know how to. You share such a human experience, and you make it feel human, and I think that's what makes your content so special - it's raw, and emotional, and just very real. And the fact that people can look at that and find hatred in themselves, is heartbreaking - for them and for you. You are not, and have never been, less than. Anyways, this post has gotten longer than intended, haha. But even though I may not comment often, I did just want to let you know that I'm here celebrating with you for every upswing, and standing by you for every downswing.
You have been my comfort TH-camr for all these years, i was so sad when i forgot your channel name, but found it again, youtube can be anything because the audience is diverse, it’s not easy to be vulnerable, and online more so, you have been doing it so gracefully for so long, lot’s of love from person to a person. We are humans with our own lifes but there is always similarities that we can relate to, thats what i love from people sharing their thoughts.
I still remember first discovering your channel maybe 8 or 9 years ago, and you were just a normal person willing to share about their struggles in life. Every once in a while I would check in and see your change and my change. We have all experienced a lot, and I am sure 1000s of us are grateful for having been included in your journey over all of these years.
You do you girl. I think you're a great person and I wish the world had more people in it like you. You're thoughtful, kind and considerate from what I've observed over the years I've followed you on this platform. You're also creative and smart and funny in your own way. I always enjoy seeing your videos pop up on my feed and I always watch them and think how lovely of a person you are and jow you deserve so much better in life. I'm also neurospicy and I relate to your struggles a lot
I think I've become less supportive/less caring towards others the last few years in how I've disconnected from people one-on-one (even when I try it all blows up... even when I do my best). Another way I've changed is how I used to try really hard to explain things or via TrichJournal help educate/spread awareness for Trich and help in that way... Now I'm entirely off the scene. I'm caring for myself. I've been told by family I've improved and making leaps and bounds, but it's like I've gone super-caring towards those I do engage with/know and love and very inwards to protect what little life is left. I protect people who love me back and very few in the world I hold in that circle. I keep giving people my heart (platonic and romantic) and it being shattered and then picking up the pieces. Tired of t. Always feel bad when people write to me that I'd be a good friend, I understand parasocial relationships as I've experienced that myself, but I'm not a good friend even at my best. Doesn't mean I'm an anti-friend, just not what people expect. Feel I let people down all the time
Been watching since middle school (graduating uni next month) and ALWAYS loved your videos: the good, the bad, the serious, the funny! It’s been so cool to view the videos you create and especially through your artistic lens. People online will always have something negative to say simply because there’s just so many of them, but I also don’t see them posting vulnerable and fun moments online on their channels! The hypocrites suck and I hope that you continue to do what you love despite them ❤
Personally I watch you on the various platforms because unlike so many others you share your whole life...the good the bad and the ugly...if people cant take you for who you are, warts and all then thats a reflection of their shortcomings and in reality they are not worth thinking about...unfortunately there will always be haters...
The first time I saw your channel was around spring 2015, back when i was 19. Since then i have been looking foward to your updates because your "presence" in my life felt like having a friend who is experiencing life together with me since our age difference is not big. Up to this day tour videos are a form of comfort to me. Thank you for still being here in all aspects and i wish you to be safe and content as much as possible ✨️
I think you might be very interested in “Byron Katie” and her introspection process she calls “The Work”. It changed my life in that it provided me with so much clarity.
When I was sharing some happy moments with my Mum when I'd shared that she was then-currently fighting cancer - I had an influx of messages telling me how happy they were my Mum was going to die. That I deserved some suffering, that it would teach me to grow up etc. It can be more than simple hate comments. Tried to allude to that at 13:08 -
I think I remember you stating you had issues with hugs.... so an internet ghost hug, you can't feel it but its there for you. I am no where near as public as you, but I am vocal on my local political pages and I have been death threatened and such...i do not say this to make light of your situation, simply ro try to commiserate. It is very hard, especially when they find a soft spot and keep attacking that. You do not deserve what these jerks give out. And you deserve peace, and privacy when and how you want it. I feel for you, and wish them the days they trily deserve.
When some people are free from accountability and their colors show it can be harrowing. To spread sorrow when kindness is just as easy, that is a truly sad state to be in. 💚💚May kindness shin brighter than its counterpart! You've earned every accomplishment you've achieved and worthy of praise!
Those statements from those people about your mom were deplorable and unacceptable. Cancer is not funny in the least and those people really should sit back and assess why they get joy in treating others so poorly. My mom survived lung cancer in late 2016 (surgery Dec 2016, then chemo Jan-March 2017). So when you announced your mom, then your dad had to fight it, my heart broke for you. I kept thinking and praying for your family and each positive update you provided brightened my day. I’m sure others have echoed this, but I am so thankful both your mom and dad have beaten cancer. Their fighting spirit is shining through you (just like in your clip on the treadmill ☺️). Ashley-Tennessee-USA
I've followed you for 10 years now. Found you interesting from the start (first saw your reaction to The Fault In Our Stars). I still find you worth following. I know a good chunk of the internet has been horrible to you, but not all of us have. I like to feel I'm supportive when I do comment or like your IG stuff. Sometimes I know I've been blunt, and you have replied, and that was that. You say you don't ask for general-good comments, but in a way you do when you mention less people see your happy stuff. What am I getting at here? Hard to say. But I will keep on following you, no matter what. How much I'm able to comment or like just depends on how much time I have at that moment. I mean, look at this, I wasn't able to watch this video for 11 days, but I knew it was in my feed.
I’ve always found comfort in your video diaries personally. They have always felt real, kind, and thoughtful. You have been inspiring I think simply by being you, and remaining visible, despite the thoughtless, hate-fuelled comments that seem to have mindlessly and disgustingly come your way. Far too many people are looking for reasons to take others down, and I’m so sorry you have had to endure some of the worst of this by the sounds of things, but thank you for remaining kind, thoughtful, insightful, and hopeful. Know that you are allowed to go without saying, you absolutely do not need to justify sharing any of your thoughts or emotions, no matter good or bad, because they are all valid, and worthy, and you are so much more than anybody who tries to tell you otherwise. Thanks for being here for twenty years and counting, I hope you’ll continue to be for as long as it feels productive, helpful, and useful to you.
I've been pulling my hair for 17 years now and I've watched your content for a little while and for the record, you do inspire me! I like your realistic outlook and I like hearing about your good news and bad news and everything else. I relate to your artistic aspect, and I appreciate hearing about your experience with health and mental health! I've been scared to get an opinion and diagnosis for ASD on top of my other diagnoses and I think it's important hearing your perspective too! Just know a lot of strangers love you 💛
I always loved watching your content! I loved your skits like the music video you made to "they're coming to take me away!" I enjoyed your artistic perspective on things and I have loved watching your art through the years. I still remember the bon bon bottle paiting you did awhile ago. Your new years resolution videos were inspirational to me! Sorry the negative voices have been amplified
I know this video is a few months old but I want to say that I love watching your videos. I've been watching since 2015 and I feel like we've grown so much together. I am also neurodivergent and your videos always felt like a part of home. Regardless what you share I'm glad you're still here and I enjoy the content. You are an inspiration and have such a beautiful soul. Thank you for being you
I really appreciate your videos and have followed you for well over 10 years now. Although I'm older than you (40 in a couple of weeks) I've enjoyed watching you grow as I also grew. I wish you well in the years to come. P.S. I loved your home tours and baking videos. I even go back and watch them when I want to unwind. I especially liked your dorm room videos but I was so proud of you and happy for you when you bought your home.
Your three options are insufficient. I watch you because I always have hope that you will feel better and be happier and understand both yourself and life a little better than you did in your last video.
I have watched you videos for probably longer than 10 years. I have loved every second of all your content. My best friend has trich. That is how I got here. You are so smart and well spoken. I would listen to hours and hours and hours of you speaking about anything. Thank you for sharing so much.
I've been watching you for years and agree with many others in the comments that you are a comfort watch ❤ because you are honest, which is todays online landscape is refreshing. No one is honest anymore and its exhausting. That's not to say we don't focus on the positives, it's more to say that we see things below the surface level. Keep doing what you're doing ✨️
I will never understand why so many people want to make life into a competition. I'm sure there are people going through worse than me, but the circumstances are completely different. One persons illness isn't "worse" than another, especially if you're not the one living it. I also don't understand why we can't all be happy for other people when something goes right.
(Please forgive any English mistakes, I'm a foreigner lol) close to what you said, I do follow your videos for over quite that while, and I must say that you are one of the strongest human beings I've ever being told that exist, although I don't know you actuallly. One has to be brave to document. One has to be brave to share and be honest in such a fake, narrow and superficial world. So I hope this message reaches you, Becky. And thank you for living... what an extraordinary human being you are.👏👏👏👏👏
I just want to express some gratitude to you for your videos. I have loved your channel for years, finding something deeply but inexplicably relatable about what you share. Near the start of this year I came across one of your videos about being neurodivergent. Having a late diagnosis myself about a year ago, and consequently still learning who I am under so many masking behaviors, it touched a happy spot in my heart to have an added little piece of like "Ah, here's one of the reasons it always felt like Beckie understood how I felt even when I didn't." I was so tickled by that realization/revelation that I excitedly shared it with my husband, like "Ha! Here's more evidence that I've been AuDHD the whole time!"-luckily he's always been supportive of all of the steps I take while learning about myself. As I'm finding ways to accommodate myself and be happy, I hope you also have support and opportunity to do the same.
I personally don't think you come across as boasting when you talk about happy things. It makes me happy to see you share good things. I know you've been through a lot of difficult things, and still do, so when you find things that make you happy or are positive developments for you, I am glad to see it.
I dont know if im in the minority, but i do remember your celebrations, some of them atleast! i remember cheering you on when you shared that you found kayaking exciting despite having phobias of fluids, how excited i was for you when your job was going well, even when you found religion peaceful for you. I dont have a great memory like you do, but i do remember you sharing happy news in your videos, and feeling happy right alongside you
So, out of the blue, this evening I decided to "check in" on this channel. When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I somehow stumbled across these videos. I have no idea how, or why, but they came at a perfect time. As a young adult, I was dealing with many of the same things Rebecca was - trying to find my place in the world, dealing with a form of depression, and even Trichotillomania. I don't think I found the videos educational or entertaining. Perhaps a bit inspiring, but really it was more a form of comfort - knowing that I was not alone in what I was dealing with. Going out into the world for the first time after graduating high school is like jumping into the deep end of the pool without first learning how to swim. I won't say this channel was the only one, but it was certainly one of the many that kept me "afloat" during that time. Looking back today and seeing Rebecca doing so well, looking healthy, wise, and continuing to speak encouragement to anyone who will listen really warms my heart. YOU MATTER, and are definitely the kind of person who makes the world worth living in. Be well!
It's hard to write anything that previous commenters haven't already eloquently touched on. Your online TH-cam diary (as well as other social media posts that you share, such as on Instagram) has been a source of interest and inspiration for a long period of time. I also empathize that the pressure to always sound upbeat (and the viciousness of mean-spirited strangers) sometimes makes you want to stop. I'm grateful that you've shared as much as you have for as long as you have, and always look forward to whatever you have to say. Thank you.
I so grateful to you for sharing both your life (good and bad) and your creativity online. After following for almost a decade now, I'm always so happy to see you doing well, and hearing about your ups and downs feels like another friend navigating life with me. On the other hand, I do sometimes wish you could experience what life would be like without having shared so much of yourself online, so you could decide if that creative outlet has been worth it across the years. It must be so hard to decide what to share and hard feeling so much influence of what internet strangers think of your life, even without the more wacko hate forum people to top it all off. For your own benefit I hope you are able keep living authentically. Selfishly I hope you keep posting ❤
I've been following you for a few years now. I find you entertaining and I think you're very brave to share as much of yourself as you do on the Internet. There are always going to be haters. But there are also going to be people who follow you because they genuinely like you and want to know your journey.
I always loved your content for the realistic outlook on life. Celebrating good times and the personal victories but being honest and persevering during low moments. Just being human. Whatever and whenever you share, it's all appreciated and valued ❤
Jusst want to leave a little comment saying hi! Around 14 years ago I discovered your channel, and it meant the world to me to relate to someone, even if it's on the internet. Because in real life people never seemed to understand or care enough. so, BIG THANK YOU for being open, and brave, and just being you. big hugs xoxo
As a recently diagnosed neurodivergent person (ADHD), you help & inspire others more than you know or may feel. What you share of your life, “good or bad” are appreciated ❤
Yikes, people can be so horrible :( No words can make their wrongs right or can even nullify them. I'm so sorry you had and have to go through all that. ❤
Rebecca the most poignant thing my Gran ever said to me was "This too shall pass." It is true of anything. The good, the bad, the boring, the exciting. This too shall pass. You have every right to revel in the good, to wallow in the difficult and depressing. Do not let others define you, or take their judgements to heart. You are special and touch the lives of many. You are doing fine. Be proud. the world has been so hard for everyone lately. You are navigating a crazy world. Share your stuff and know you are not alone, and though your sharing you validate so many. Thank you so much for sharing. Sending you a virtual hug.
I feel the same as you while making videos. To me it's more of a place that's just for me to throw out the vomit of words stuck in my throat than anything else. But because we're online, it feels more public and open to the sludge of the outside world, and people have an expectation of people who put themselves in the public light. Like, "How dare you come out into our field of view if you don't portray the perfection we want." But this is the life we have. This is the life we share. It's not perfect, and we're not perfect, and that's okay. And we're valid enough in our experience to share it, the good and the bad. I have this weird thing where if I write a video about "bad" stuff, I need to end it somehow with "good". And if I write a "good" thing, I need to put in a bit of "bad" at the end, as if I'm preparing for the fall. I like watching your content amongst others because you don't try to hide it. I think it's good to be good, and to be happy for it to be good, and be okay when it turns bad.
You are deserving of kindness and compassion. I’m so sorry some horrible people have subjected you to abuse and bullying online. I would like to think that there are far more friendly people who watch your videos and genuinely enjoy listening to your thoughts and seeing your amazing creativity etc. than there are evil trolls. Keep your head up, you’re doing so well.
I followed you over the years and I can say I always admired you on how mindful you talk about many aspects about your life and how you explain your kind of view and problems. I like you. Don't let yourself be torn down by those negative people!
It is far easier to chose tiny snippets of someone life and paint a narrative, than it is do to what you have done. Which is spend years capturing the complexities of being human. I think what has brought me back to your channel over and over across many years is a refreshing and unique honesty. As you say, this is your diary. We are presented the privilege of seeing another human soul bared to the world in what is always such a raw and candid way. It’s a breath of fresh air. It truly pains me for you that someone could twist something like that up in these ways. I hope you’ll continue to find the courage to carry on sharing with us and that we’ll all be spurred on to be more vocal in our support to drown out the other noise. The very few can be so loud, I hope the rest of us will be louder in future. ❤️
I've been watching your channel(s) since 2014 and I will always appreciate the way you document your thoughts and feelings. I know people can be cruel but I'm rooting for you.
There are always critics out there - hate gets to us all and it affects us all differently. Circumstance is different for us all, I believe it shapes us and changes our mindsets and you know, you have your circumstances and you also have a voice. It does not matter what your crystal slipper looks like, because it will not fit everyone. What I'm saying is, this is a metaphor that people may not like what you have to say, and to stand up against them and to tell them to look the other way because you are happy and will continue doing things your way or voicing your opinions is tough. Whatever you go through, people will listen, most people who care will probably not drop you a message but they will be thinking it; in the real world it is easy to connect and talk to the people we know will listen and support, here? It is hostile. My channel is dead for that reason and I keep almost 0 social media presence for that reason. You have shared so much of yourself, in my most darkest moments, I watched your videos for comfort and support and they carried me out. I reach out and write because I still feel like I owe it to you. we are all strangers to you, and it is so unusual being in that position as some of your viewers are going to have seen your videos for years. Amongst the crowd of haters, you will have made a difference to so many lives for the better because you gave them the confidence in themselves and to remind them that we're not alone. Your voice helped those who had these thoughts, I am certain there will be a lot of people that you gave strength to.
I've been following you for 10 years. Your content has always been so comforting and relatable to me. I've noticed that a lot of creators that I still actively keep up with are also autistic - haha, that's neat! (edit to clarify: I'm also autistic and late dx)
Hey! I used to watch your videos few years ago when you were talking about your struggles with trichotillomania. For some reason I haven't seen any updates for a long time. Today this video popped up as a suggestion and I got curios what happened to you and your journey. Despite being sad all what you've been through and what people write to you or just life happens, I just wanted to tell you I'm happy to see you that you've become such an amazing grounded adult! You sound wise and somehow enlightened. I'm really sorry about all the negativity and even hatred that you've encountered. Don't compare yourself to people with more conventional lives, you're a brilliant and wonderful just the way you are, with or without a plan.
After a situation with the person that groomed me, I became afraid of the internet. Years on and he has still attempted to contact me so i know he and his minions are watching me. My point being, I get this completely and i’m sorry people are being mean. Personally I like to see the good and the bad, i like seeing people who aren’t robots. People can’t be happy all the time and it’s unfair to put that pressure on anyone. Closing off, i think you’re great. I’ve been following you for years, i’ve kept following because you seem genuine. A lot of people don’t to me.
I like you, Rebecca. You think deeper than most people. Your videos are entertaining reminders of our collective struggles and humanity. Joy to you and your family and friends.
I’ve been following your TH-cam for like 15 years give or take. I need you to know that I adore you!! My heart breaks that people suck. You’re far from mediocre. You educated me to help my clients. You educated me so much on mental health. Never doubt yourself ❤ you’re beautiful on the inside and outside. Your videos make me feel less alone. Be kind to yourself 💜💙
I never comment on videos. But I’ll make sure to personally make sure to tell you everything good. I’m proud that you had the love that gave you happy weight. I’m proud of you for working on yourself and getting fit again. Thank you for running for cancer. I’m proud of you for buying your own place!! I’m jealous! Haha. One day!! No one can ignore all the bad. Just remember you do have people that love you and want to see you thrive!!
Rebecca, I’ve discovered your channel years ago in a pursuit of finding something educational which I was quite surprised to learn your story which first put me at ease with my medical condition as you’ve been very relatable so I realised I wasn’t overreacting. But the most thing that caught my attention your English and the way you hold the conversation. As a foreigner I benefited a lot from your videos by hearing a native speaker which helped me out to practice my speaking. So thank you for that dearly! 10years later I’ve gradually improved it and you’ve sparked a hope in me that I could get it! Your grateful Ukrainian listener 🤗
I've watched your videos for years Rebecca, more than 10 at least. I don't use any social media whatsoever, unless a comment a year on a TH-cam video counts. I relate to feeling inadequate whilst others perceive me as being cold or snooty. Im insecure, im average and i am blatantly aware of my short comings. But i am so ok with that now, with each year that passes i just realise im so ok with being content. Being content is a privilege. I've been reckless, I've been depressed, I've felt hopeless. So now I'm ok, good things happen, bad things happen. All i can do is control what i can and that includes the opinions of those around me. Your happiness always made me smile from the inside. Like a comforting warmth of seeing an old friend in little moments of joy. Your home tour, your op shop videos, the trips with your mum, your old bedroom tour. Good times,rotten times and the really hard moments, i didn't have an opinion, why should i? I was just sharing in a portion of your life you felt comfortable sharing. My son is autistic. He is young and innocent and lovely, but the world is not always so, and i hope he encounters more people who celebrate him than those who will criticise. I tell my kids - Misery really does crave company - And Comparison is the theif of joy.
Honestly, I just enjoy hearing your opinions and your views on things. And it’s always great to hear you're doing well! ❤ Good luck with the kayaking!!
I’m always anxious about the things I comment, so I try to limit my comments as much as possible (as a general rule for my own mental health). Regardless, I just wanted to say that I’ve followed you for years, I really enjoy your videos, and I’m sorry the internet is a garbage place to be. I wish you the best.
I have been watching you for what seem like ages but I might have never commented. You have been a big inspiration for me over the year. In fact, you were the first trichster I found online and it mean so, so much to me. I think that there are 10x more of us who appreciate you than the ones who don't. The thing is, we are shy and not in need of express ourselves to feel better about our lives but, i do understand now, that we need to show our appreciation more often. You deserve it. Being neurodivergent is tough but it is also a very interesting experience. I think we are the most creative and fun beings on the planet. Thank you for being yourself! F%^&& off the haters!
It blows my mind how expert some people think they are on who someone is without even being a part of their real life. They think because they see someone sometimes in contained and highly controlled settings, they are qualified to make judgments. I'm so sorry to hear you've had to deal with this on the heels of your self-awareness journey. It is interesting how some people decide what others feel and think and what our thoughts and feelings or things we say "really" mean as if they know us well enough. Last time I checked, no one can read minds. Frankly, anyone who deserves to know someone well enough to make assertions about their inner workings wouldn't dare. Also, haters and harrassers should get a life. But alas, they lurk on the internet, feeling brave to talk judgemental nonsense from behind a screen. The internet makes everyone brazen experts, but I'd like to see them try one minute of the level of vulnerability you share with your face before the world. They'd buckle under their own self-hatred they insist on projecting on you. They take the coward's way. But not you. You have real courage and strength, which is tested again and again, and here you still are! Amazing. I found your channel because of the stim toy sharing on your other channel, and I was refreshed to find your Autism content and authenticity on the mental-health fallout from late diagnosis (I was diagnosed 6 years ago at age 38). I assure you, I'm not entertained by your suffering. It's just a gift to be able to relate. I celebrate your unmasking journey and your unfolding self-acceptance, whatever it looks like. I stand with you in being yourself, whether others like it or not. I'm feeling for you in the joy, sadness, and in-betweens. You deserve love and respect, no matter how you feel.
I've been a fan for over 10 years, watching your videos is so relaxing to me. Especially when you were doing unboxing and hauls, loved it! You're little woohoos. But anyway, enough of me cringing ha. You're honestly amazing and the fact that you've picked yourself up countless times shows that's you're a very strong person. Don't listen to people who just spread hate for the sake of it. Also, who says that at 30 we have to have our life put together. I'm 32 and living back with my parents after getting a divorce. Tried living the life I thought was "the norm" but it didn't work out. We just have to see what each day brings us, not everyone is the same.
I have been watching your videos since 2013, which is insane because I have quite a short attention span. I keep watching your videos because they remind me that even though the battle isn't over, I'm not alone. They remind me that even though good things don't stay for long, the bad things aren't forever. Thank you for sharing your world with the internet. I know para-social relationships are weird, but your videos have always made me feel like I was catching up with a good friend over a cup of coffee/tea. Neurodivergent life can get really lonely, and you're videos remind me that I am not actually alone.
This is a cliche, but you can't live your life trying to please everyone and thinking about what everyone thinks about you, because you could be the prettiest, tastiest juciest, and ripest peach in the world but some people just don't like peaches. For me it was around the time I turned 32 when I finally decided I need to be OK with me and everyone else can witness my existence without influencing it. It's not easy, it's a "muscle" you need to flex until get to a point of not even thinking of others perspective. Hope this helps. Also you don't owe happiness, entertainment, positivity or anything else ot anyone. Least to strangers on the internet. ❤ sending you all the fun vibes
Just wanted to echo all of the outpouring of love and support in these comments. This was the first youtube channel i subscribed to. As a young tween who pulled my hair and struggled with depression, discovering your channel made me feel seen in a way that i hadnt felt before, and I've always felt such a great sense of comfort in hearing and seeing you speak so openly and eloquently about the ups and downs of your life. I saw the comments on the last video, and they made me reflect on how the landscape of social media and "content creation" has shifted in the last decade. In a sense i think it reflects a larger cultural tendency towards the commodification of art. These videos dont need to be curated to an algorithm or be marketable in order to be meaningful and important. I think these comments show that these videos are very meaningful to a lot of people, and as long as you enjoy creating and sharing them, we will enjoy watching them. 💜
Need to be careful how I word this... this is a game task I swear.... I need to come back to Skyrim and finish off Vitoria :D. Currently to and fro from my parents/my flat and all the set up with the situation isn't that easy. Had problems with mac and my computer, quite tired of all the wires and setting up. Been a few weeks since my last skyrim stream... miss it!
I have to 3 years old daughter who has trichotillomania.. she’s been having it for the last year when she was just 2 years old and just came to know of this today 😢
Been watching your content for quite a few years as I enjoy your content and find you to be an honest and sincere person, and I still enjoy coming to your Twitch streams even if I don't say much. As a content creator myself, though more for 3D models I wish you the best of luck for your future. 😊
you have done amazing things ❤ you are an amazing person! you spread love and you help others ! we are always goin g to be here to uplift you ! the love will always outweigh the hate, even when it doesn’t seem like it ❤
How can anyone not like you ? You are so beautiful and so strong to be able to open up to strangers. You help so many people and give them strength to be able to stand up and make it !!
@@beckiejbrown I'm sorry if people are mean online my question is this. Sorry if it's a little odd if you knew me in real life and felt safe by me would you cry often infront of me and let me comfort you? Btw my kindness is genuine and you could cry as hard as needed no shame .
I’ve always enjoyed your content (twitch, instagram,TikTok) I love seeing you grow. I’ve always wanted you to succeed in anything you want. I’ve always seen you as a gorgeous and intelligent person . I hope you have a great day. ❤
I think that sometimes it's no use trying to explain yourself to others. It's not to say you shouldn't, no! Just my experience and conclusion I've made for myself. No matter what you (or rather I) say, people struggle to understand. And then, weirdly enough, they get angry at you because of this. Or perhaps it's only natural. But neither you nor I are responsible for their ability to understand us, and it's completely their responsibility to unsubscribe, etc. and go elsewhere when their expectations are not met.
You know, I've watched your videos on and off for years and I don't think I ever commented. All I can say is that when you celebrate something good, I'm happy for you. When you share something bad, I hope it will pass and things will get better. I watch channels like yours because of curiosity about other people's life journeys and perspectives. I do understand and respect your choice to post less and keep more private in recent years. So, mostly, I just want to say that you have at least one person in the audience who doesn't want you to feel pressure to live your life in a certain way or want you to share anything other than what you want to, good or bad.
The internet is a Pandora's box a lot of the time. It's so easy (and cowardly) to drop a cruel comment and walk away but I honestly think your content is valuable in an age of "influencers". Been watching on and off for years, and I admire your courage to be so 'real' when we're getting more disconnected.
here's hoping you get to a space where youre so content and over it you literally laugh at your haters and suddenly they just sort of dwindle to the wayside making way for genuine souls who you inspire!🥂 to the remark you said "easier said than done", well, it might not be easy but it really works. the positive self talk /affirmations or trying to control your thoughts. there's a lot of content out there about it, that thoughts control reality, one of them is joe dispenza. if you want to give it a go. either way, more life and love to you
I'm sorry that people are so shit. You deserve to have happiness in your life, and be able to celebrate that, and share that happiness with other people where you feel comfortable doing so. But yeah. I'm glad you're still here 💜
Hi Rebecca. I have been a subscriber for years on your main channel and your trich journal. You have always said you are doing the best you can (as most of us are) and everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Thank you for sharing what you have felt comfortable sharing. Your videos help remind me if I am doing my best, that is all I can do. Rather it is tackling a lengthy to do list or just being able to eat and take a shower during a really bad autoimmune flare, all we can do is keep progressing forwards. And progress (as you have eloquently stated in many videos) looks different for everyone. Here are some pink heart and cat emojis to brighten your spirits 💕💓😸🐈. Sincerely, Ashley-Tennessee-USA
I have been watching your channel for more than 10 years. I don't know why, but I care about you. You even remind me of my childhood friend, who, looking back, probably is also neurodivergent. Sad to see you struggle, but from what I have seen, you are very strong and resilient. And there are people who care about you, but I guess such people just don't join any online groups as the haters do, so you cannot see the support. And also we don't always comment. I remember praying about you when you considered yourself atheist, then feeling happy as you shared your journey with God. What is your stance on religion, God and Christianity now? You haven't shared in a long while
I wish I could give you a big hug. But even if we met and you'd be happy to get a hug, I would be too shy and awkward to actually give one. I find you an incredibly interesting person. Thank you for being so real.
Your life is eerily similar to mine. I'm going into my thirties having been diagnosed first with ADHD, then ASD, kind of wanting a relationship, kind of not, and just generally wondering what's going to happen next. Feeling decades behind is something that's taken me a while to deal with as well. I had the exact same feeling after my ADHD diagnosis of something being missing and then post-ASD diagnosis dealing with skill regression. It's a lot to process. I have found ultimately it's better to have the diagnoses to at the very least have a vocabulary and more tailored advice to draw from (I wouldn't have found this channel without it). Being off antidepressants for the first time in nine years and having to come back into the office again after four years without that numbing effect certainly doesn't help, especially with the constant noise. It's hard to be patient with yourself. All of this to say you're by no means alone. I hope that's a comfort
Every new account I make I make sure I follow you. I've been watching you for over a decade maybe a decade and a half and you inspire me so much. We have so much in common. Please keep checking in ❤
I understand that it's very difficult to disclose a job, but I would be very curious to know what type of job you're currently doing because I've been struggling finding something sustainable that hasnt destroyed me and am getting closer to my 30s. I wish I could do remote work like I see a lot of autistic people doing since it's the best option for our neurotype but I can't do it in my own country. UK definitely seems more advanced in this sense and I might try to find work there in the future! Love your videos and the content you make that has helped me throughout my own struggles! ❤
I’m really sorry about all of these hate comments, Rebecca. I take solace in watching you and it makes me happy to see your successes. Those people are just hateful individuals who are not happy with themselves.
Just remembered your oregon vlog only to not find your channel. is this your new channel? And did you delete your old one? Anyways all the best with this one
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I haven't replied to too many comments just yet.
Firstly I was nervous to read, then as I scanned through the first day - could see they weren't as unkind as I expected.
Then as I started processing through, I felt overwhelmed from the other perspective - the kindness.
I find compliments really hard to process, I don't ask for compliments (or general-good comments).
I'm finding it hard to reply and know what to say.
Ultimately, I am grateful. I know there's other things to add, such as how it's not all bad - I've replied to one big comment elsewhere on this video about the good in posting. Maybe I should create a video on that.
I am blown away by this comment section, truly. Thank you.
Just found your channel, I struggle with compliments, I sometimes feel that a someone is being nice to me to then do something bad. This is something that I am working on. Your doing good :)
The fact that you have picked yourself up after countless times of being knocked down proves you ARE an inspiration. You being so brave to share your struggles with us helps more than you know. Thank you for being you. ❤
I now regret not commenting on your videos more often. I genuinely come to your channel to see how you're doing. I've gotten super excited when you've shared good things and you are smiling, and seeing your hair at shoulder length gives me so much joy. I also got worried when you stopped posting as often, but just continued praying you were alright and hopefully healing, even if it was slowly and little by little, experiencing your life so fully that you didn't have time to document it anymore.
I remember watching you for the first time as a teenager (I'm now 28), and listening to you talk about your struggles helped me put words to my own feelings when they were too overwhelming. Growing up in an abusive family, with my friends having a much lighter and different reality to mine, made me feel very lonely, until I heard you being honest about your own struggles and pain. For so long it gave me comfort to watch someone not push happiness on themselves, but refusing to give up either.
Our realities are different, and objectively speaking I don't really know you, though to me, it feels like you're an old friend. Thank you for being so brave through the hurtful things people have done and said. I pray you continue to fufill your purpose and realize how many people you've inspired.
And that's our life, we'll be loved and hated without trying, and I'm so sorry you have been through so much criticism from people used to not even being sincere with themselves and the people they love. If at any point you decide to stop posting for good, I think some of us would truly understand and respect it, but if you don't, I'll be glad to continue listening to your ups and downs, hoping and praying for your perseverance through it all.
You definetely are worthy and enough, Becca. 🤍
I wish the price you had to pay for sharing your journey wasn't so high, but thank you for letting us witness this whole process.
I remember once saying something on what used to be twitter and some hate account found me & tried to convince me awful things about you based on some creepy forum. They are so loud, so persistent and so obsessive. It's wrong & I really can't imagine what it's like to be those hateful people.
I've watched you for years & I find watching you a comfort. I think you put life into words very well. I feel like I've commented this before, but in 2020 you were so helpful to me because you were honest about how hard it was. And I felt like I wasn't alone. Life felt very impossible and still does. I just don't understand why people can't just let shit lie. I'm really sorry.
Thank you for sharing for so long. x
Thank you
@@beckiejbrown Yes, we all do that, looking back, at least those of us with any self-awareness and an iota of conscience. OP here said something similar to what I said in my own comment, but said it better than I did. I think what's important to remember is the statistics of human psychology, which include the fact that 4% of humanity is statistically sociopathic, and 1% is psychopathic. That's 1 in 20 people with no moral compass.
If you think about it, 1 in 20 people who are content or even excited to hurt people can have a massive impact by being vocal and determined while others might not consistently think to express the kindness they feel in their heads, especially if they are hesitant since doing so frequently draws the attention and ire of those 1s in 20, who want you to be isolated, unsupported, and suffering.
I think, perhaps, the best way to put it is that, while some may hate-watch you and make sure you know they're doing it, I think the majority of us are actually love-watching you and we just don't generally think to say so, perhaps thinking the views or thumbs suffice to communicate our appreciation.
I’ve been watching you for about 10 years and I always look forward to see how you’re doing because you keep it real and post both good and bad. Your content makes me feel human and understood, like we’re all in it together. I cannot believe that so many people dislike you and go to such lenghts to do you harm! Makes no sense.
Apologies, I wrote a long comment in reply to the person below you - sorry for the notification - thats why the comments vanished.
And thank you
Never forget there's a lot of love and support for you out there!
I don't comment much because I am always nervous I'll just come across as a bit odd, haha. But I want to help in drowning out the people who say unkind things - because you certainly don't deserve that and I want to add to the voices that are appreciative of who you are and what you do.
I stumbled across your videos when I was much younger, and it was like a breath of fresh air. At the time, I didn't know, but I have ADHD (recently diagnosed at 30). And my whole life it was a struggle to understand why I couldn't seem to do things the way others could. Everything overwhelmed me - I would push and push and push and I did achieve great things - but they would never last. I would get horribly burnt out, not understand why I couldn't maintain myself, and just slip right back down. I've had to pull myself up more times than I can count, and never really feel settled or stable.
Watching your videos, I could see a woman like me. Someone who was (and still is) so bright, vibrant, intelligent, a little quirky, and talented. Someone who worked very hard, and yet still would get knocked down. And the way you could articulate your thoughts made me understand my own better. You could put words to things I didn't know how to. You share such a human experience, and you make it feel human, and I think that's what makes your content so special - it's raw, and emotional, and just very real. And the fact that people can look at that and find hatred in themselves, is heartbreaking - for them and for you. You are not, and have never been, less than.
Anyways, this post has gotten longer than intended, haha. But even though I may not comment often, I did just want to let you know that I'm here celebrating with you for every upswing, and standing by you for every downswing.
You have been my comfort TH-camr for all these years, i was so sad when i forgot your channel name, but found it again, youtube can be anything because the audience is diverse, it’s not easy to be vulnerable, and online more so, you have been doing it so gracefully for so long, lot’s of love from person to a person. We are humans with our own lifes but there is always similarities that we can relate to, thats what i love from people sharing their thoughts.
I still remember first discovering your channel maybe 8 or 9 years ago, and you were just a normal person willing to share about their struggles in life. Every once in a while I would check in and see your change and my change. We have all experienced a lot, and I am sure 1000s of us are grateful for having been included in your journey over all of these years.
You do you girl. I think you're a great person and I wish the world had more people in it like you. You're thoughtful, kind and considerate from what I've observed over the years I've followed you on this platform. You're also creative and smart and funny in your own way. I always enjoy seeing your videos pop up on my feed and I always watch them and think how lovely of a person you are and jow you deserve so much better in life. I'm also neurospicy and I relate to your struggles a lot
I think I've become less supportive/less caring towards others the last few years in how I've disconnected from people one-on-one (even when I try it all blows up... even when I do my best). Another way I've changed is how I used to try really hard to explain things or via TrichJournal help educate/spread awareness for Trich and help in that way... Now I'm entirely off the scene. I'm caring for myself.
I've been told by family I've improved and making leaps and bounds, but it's like I've gone super-caring towards those I do engage with/know and love and very inwards to protect what little life is left. I protect people who love me back and very few in the world I hold in that circle. I keep giving people my heart (platonic and romantic) and it being shattered and then picking up the pieces. Tired of t.
Always feel bad when people write to me that I'd be a good friend, I understand parasocial relationships as I've experienced that myself, but I'm not a good friend even at my best. Doesn't mean I'm an anti-friend, just not what people expect. Feel I let people down all the time
Been watching since middle school (graduating uni next month) and ALWAYS loved your videos: the good, the bad, the serious, the funny! It’s been so cool to view the videos you create and especially through your artistic lens. People online will always have something negative to say simply because there’s just so many of them, but I also don’t see them posting vulnerable and fun moments online on their channels! The hypocrites suck and I hope that you continue to do what you love despite them ❤
Personally I watch you on the various platforms because unlike so many others you share your whole life...the good the bad and the ugly...if people cant take you for who you are,
warts and all then thats a reflection of their shortcomings and in reality they are not worth thinking about...unfortunately there will always be haters...
The first time I saw your channel was around spring 2015, back when i was 19. Since then i have been looking foward to your updates because your "presence" in my life felt like having a friend who is experiencing life together with me since our age difference is not big. Up to this day tour videos are a form of comfort to me. Thank you for still being here in all aspects and i wish you to be safe and content as much as possible ✨️
I think you might be very interested in “Byron Katie” and her introspection process she calls “The Work”. It changed my life in that it provided me with so much clarity.
When I was sharing some happy moments with my Mum when I'd shared that she was then-currently fighting cancer - I had an influx of messages telling me how happy they were my Mum was going to die. That I deserved some suffering, that it would teach me to grow up etc.
It can be more than simple hate comments. Tried to allude to that at 13:08 -
I think I remember you stating you had issues with hugs.... so an internet ghost hug, you can't feel it but its there for you. I am no where near as public as you, but I am vocal on my local political pages and I have been death threatened and such...i do not say this to make light of your situation, simply ro try to commiserate. It is very hard, especially when they find a soft spot and keep attacking that.
You do not deserve what these jerks give out. And you deserve peace, and privacy when and how you want it. I feel for you, and wish them the days they trily deserve.
When some people are free from accountability and their colors show it can be harrowing. To spread sorrow when kindness is just as easy, that is a truly sad state to be in. 💚💚May kindness shin brighter than its counterpart! You've earned every accomplishment you've achieved and worthy of praise!
Those statements from those people about your mom were deplorable and unacceptable. Cancer is not funny in the least and those people really should sit back and assess why they get joy in treating others so poorly. My mom survived lung cancer in late 2016 (surgery Dec 2016, then chemo Jan-March 2017). So when you announced your mom, then your dad had to fight it, my heart broke for you. I kept thinking and praying for your family and each positive update you provided brightened my day. I’m sure others have echoed this, but I am so thankful both your mom and dad have beaten cancer. Their fighting spirit is shining through you (just like in your clip on the treadmill ☺️).
Ashley-Tennessee-USA
I've followed you for 10 years now. Found you interesting from the start (first saw your reaction to The Fault In Our Stars). I still find you worth following. I know a good chunk of the internet has been horrible to you, but not all of us have. I like to feel I'm supportive when I do comment or like your IG stuff. Sometimes I know I've been blunt, and you have replied, and that was that. You say you don't ask for general-good comments, but in a way you do when you mention less people see your happy stuff. What am I getting at here? Hard to say. But I will keep on following you, no matter what. How much I'm able to comment or like just depends on how much time I have at that moment. I mean, look at this, I wasn't able to watch this video for 11 days, but I knew it was in my feed.
I’ve always found comfort in your video diaries personally. They have always felt real, kind, and thoughtful. You have been inspiring I think simply by being you, and remaining visible, despite the thoughtless, hate-fuelled comments that seem to have mindlessly and disgustingly come your way.
Far too many people are looking for reasons to take others down, and I’m so sorry you have had to endure some of the worst of this by the sounds of things, but thank you for remaining kind, thoughtful, insightful, and hopeful.
Know that you are allowed to go without saying, you absolutely do not need to justify sharing any of your thoughts or emotions, no matter good or bad, because they are all valid, and worthy, and you are so much more than anybody who tries to tell you otherwise.
Thanks for being here for twenty years and counting, I hope you’ll continue to be for as long as it feels productive, helpful, and useful to you.
I've been pulling my hair for 17 years now and I've watched your content for a little while and for the record, you do inspire me! I like your realistic outlook and I like hearing about your good news and bad news and everything else. I relate to your artistic aspect, and I appreciate hearing about your experience with health and mental health! I've been scared to get an opinion and diagnosis for ASD on top of my other diagnoses and I think it's important hearing your perspective too! Just know a lot of strangers love you 💛
I always loved watching your content! I loved your skits like the music video you made to "they're coming to take me away!"
I enjoyed your artistic perspective on things and I have loved watching your art through the years. I still remember the bon bon bottle paiting you did awhile ago. Your new years resolution videos were inspirational to me!
Sorry the negative voices have been amplified
I know this video is a few months old but I want to say that I love watching your videos. I've been watching since 2015 and I feel like we've grown so much together. I am also neurodivergent and your videos always felt like a part of home. Regardless what you share I'm glad you're still here and I enjoy the content. You are an inspiration and have such a beautiful soul. Thank you for being you
I really appreciate your videos and have followed you for well over 10 years now.
Although I'm older than you (40 in a couple of weeks) I've enjoyed watching you grow as I also grew.
I wish you well in the years to come.
P.S. I loved your home tours and baking videos. I even go back and watch them when I want to unwind. I especially liked your dorm room videos but I was so proud of you and happy for you when you bought your home.
I see a lot of positive comments on here. Anything other than that is noise. You are amazing, Beckie. Some of us watch you to learn and be inspired💜
Your three options are insufficient. I watch you because I always have hope that you will feel better and be happier and understand both yourself and life a little better than you did in your last video.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m 48 and STILL single. I don’t own my own home.
I have watched you videos for probably longer than 10 years. I have loved every second of all your content. My best friend has trich. That is how I got here. You are so smart and well spoken. I would listen to hours and hours and hours of you speaking about anything. Thank you for sharing so much.
I've been watching you for years and agree with many others in the comments that you are a comfort watch ❤ because you are honest, which is todays online landscape is refreshing. No one is honest anymore and its exhausting. That's not to say we don't focus on the positives, it's more to say that we see things below the surface level. Keep doing what you're doing ✨️
I will never understand why so many people want to make life into a competition. I'm sure there are people going through worse than me, but the circumstances are completely different. One persons illness isn't "worse" than another, especially if you're not the one living it. I also don't understand why we can't all be happy for other people when something goes right.
(Please forgive any English mistakes, I'm a foreigner lol) close to what you said, I do follow your videos for over quite that while, and I must say that you are one of the strongest human beings I've ever being told that exist, although I don't know you actuallly. One has to be brave to document. One has to be brave to share and be honest in such a fake, narrow and superficial world. So I hope this message reaches you, Becky. And thank you for living... what an extraordinary human being you are.👏👏👏👏👏
I just want to express some gratitude to you for your videos. I have loved your channel for years, finding something deeply but inexplicably relatable about what you share. Near the start of this year I came across one of your videos about being neurodivergent. Having a late diagnosis myself about a year ago, and consequently still learning who I am under so many masking behaviors, it touched a happy spot in my heart to have an added little piece of like "Ah, here's one of the reasons it always felt like Beckie understood how I felt even when I didn't."
I was so tickled by that realization/revelation that I excitedly shared it with my husband, like "Ha! Here's more evidence that I've been AuDHD the whole time!"-luckily he's always been supportive of all of the steps I take while learning about myself. As I'm finding ways to accommodate myself and be happy, I hope you also have support and opportunity to do the same.
I'm always happy when you are happy. 🙂
I personally don't think you come across as boasting when you talk about happy things. It makes me happy to see you share good things. I know you've been through a lot of difficult things, and still do, so when you find things that make you happy or are positive developments for you, I am glad to see it.
Lots of love.
Glad you're here. I feel proud of you. Thanks for catching me up with what's going on with you.
Take care.
Ellie Robinson x
I dont know if im in the minority, but i do remember your celebrations, some of them atleast! i remember cheering you on when you shared that you found kayaking exciting despite having phobias of fluids, how excited i was for you when your job was going well, even when you found religion peaceful for you. I dont have a great memory like you do, but i do remember you sharing happy news in your videos, and feeling happy right alongside you
The following comment is meant in a positive tone: I'm glad you have such a good memory. Mine is frustrating. Separately, your art is truly amazing.
Has it's pros and cons for sure... and thank you :)
So, out of the blue, this evening I decided to "check in" on this channel. When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I somehow stumbled across these videos. I have no idea how, or why, but they came at a perfect time. As a young adult, I was dealing with many of the same things Rebecca was - trying to find my place in the world, dealing with a form of depression, and even Trichotillomania. I don't think I found the videos educational or entertaining. Perhaps a bit inspiring, but really it was more a form of comfort - knowing that I was not alone in what I was dealing with. Going out into the world for the first time after graduating high school is like jumping into the deep end of the pool without first learning how to swim. I won't say this channel was the only one, but it was certainly one of the many that kept me "afloat" during that time. Looking back today and seeing Rebecca doing so well, looking healthy, wise, and continuing to speak encouragement to anyone who will listen really warms my heart. YOU MATTER, and are definitely the kind of person who makes the world worth living in. Be well!
It's hard to write anything that previous commenters haven't already eloquently touched on.
Your online TH-cam diary (as well as other social media posts that you share, such as on Instagram) has been a source of interest and inspiration for a long period of time.
I also empathize that the pressure to always sound upbeat (and the viciousness of mean-spirited strangers) sometimes makes you want to stop. I'm grateful that you've shared as much as you have for as long as you have, and always look forward to whatever you have to say.
Thank you.
I so grateful to you for sharing both your life (good and bad) and your creativity online. After following for almost a decade now, I'm always so happy to see you doing well, and hearing about your ups and downs feels like another friend navigating life with me.
On the other hand, I do sometimes wish you could experience what life would be like without having shared so much of yourself online, so you could decide if that creative outlet has been worth it across the years. It must be so hard to decide what to share and hard feeling so much influence of what internet strangers think of your life, even without the more wacko hate forum people to top it all off. For your own benefit I hope you are able keep living authentically. Selfishly I hope you keep posting ❤
I've been following you for a few years now. I find you entertaining and I think you're very brave to share as much of yourself as you do on the Internet. There are always going to be haters. But there are also going to be people who follow you because they genuinely like you and want to know your journey.
I always loved your content for the realistic outlook on life. Celebrating good times and the personal victories but being honest and persevering during low moments. Just being human. Whatever and whenever you share, it's all appreciated and valued ❤
Jusst want to leave a little comment saying hi! Around 14 years ago I discovered your channel, and it meant the world to me to relate to someone, even if it's on the internet. Because in real life people never seemed to understand or care enough. so, BIG THANK YOU for being open, and brave, and just being you. big hugs xoxo
As a recently diagnosed neurodivergent person (ADHD), you help & inspire others more than you know or may feel. What you share of your life, “good or bad” are appreciated ❤
Yikes, people can be so horrible :( No words can make their wrongs right or can even nullify them. I'm so sorry you had and have to go through all that. ❤
Rebecca the most poignant thing my Gran ever said to me was "This too shall pass." It is true of anything. The good, the bad, the boring, the exciting. This too shall pass. You have every right to revel in the good, to wallow in the difficult and depressing. Do not let others define you, or take their judgements to heart. You are special and touch the lives of many.
You are doing fine. Be proud. the world has been so hard for everyone lately. You are navigating a crazy world. Share your stuff and know you are not alone, and though your sharing you validate so many. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sending you a virtual hug.
I feel the same as you while making videos. To me it's more of a place that's just for me to throw out the vomit of words stuck in my throat than anything else. But because we're online, it feels more public and open to the sludge of the outside world, and people have an expectation of people who put themselves in the public light. Like, "How dare you come out into our field of view if you don't portray the perfection we want."
But this is the life we have. This is the life we share. It's not perfect, and we're not perfect, and that's okay. And we're valid enough in our experience to share it, the good and the bad. I have this weird thing where if I write a video about "bad" stuff, I need to end it somehow with "good". And if I write a "good" thing, I need to put in a bit of "bad" at the end, as if I'm preparing for the fall. I like watching your content amongst others because you don't try to hide it. I think it's good to be good, and to be happy for it to be good, and be okay when it turns bad.
You are deserving of kindness and compassion. I’m so sorry some horrible people have subjected you to abuse and bullying online. I would like to think that there are far more friendly people who watch your videos and genuinely enjoy listening to your thoughts and seeing your amazing creativity etc. than there are evil trolls. Keep your head up, you’re doing so well.
I followed you over the years and I can say I always admired you on how mindful you talk about many aspects about your life and how you explain your kind of view and problems. I like you. Don't let yourself be torn down by those negative people!
It is far easier to chose tiny snippets of someone life and paint a narrative, than it is do to what you have done. Which is spend years capturing the complexities of being human.
I think what has brought me back to your channel over and over across many years is a refreshing and unique honesty. As you say, this is your diary. We are presented the privilege of seeing another human soul bared to the world in what is always such a raw and candid way. It’s a breath of fresh air.
It truly pains me for you that someone could twist something like that up in these ways.
I hope you’ll continue to find the courage to carry on sharing with us and that we’ll all be spurred on to be more vocal in our support to drown out the other noise. The very few can be so loud, I hope the rest of us will be louder in future. ❤️
We are the same age and have been struggling with similar issues. So I watch you because you’re relatable to me.
❤
I've been watching your channel(s) since 2014 and I will always appreciate the way you document your thoughts and feelings. I know people can be cruel but I'm rooting for you.
There are always critics out there - hate gets to us all and it affects us all differently. Circumstance is different for us all, I believe it shapes us and changes our mindsets and you know, you have your circumstances and you also have a voice. It does not matter what your crystal slipper looks like, because it will not fit everyone. What I'm saying is, this is a metaphor that people may not like what you have to say, and to stand up against them and to tell them to look the other way because you are happy and will continue doing things your way or voicing your opinions is tough.
Whatever you go through, people will listen, most people who care will probably not drop you a message but they will be thinking it; in the real world it is easy to connect and talk to the people we know will listen and support, here? It is hostile. My channel is dead for that reason and I keep almost 0 social media presence for that reason. You have shared so much of yourself, in my most darkest moments, I watched your videos for comfort and support and they carried me out. I reach out and write because I still feel like I owe it to you. we are all strangers to you, and it is so unusual being in that position as some of your viewers are going to have seen your videos for years. Amongst the crowd of haters, you will have made a difference to so many lives for the better because you gave them the confidence in themselves and to remind them that we're not alone. Your voice helped those who had these thoughts, I am certain there will be a lot of people that you gave strength to.
I've been following you for 10 years. Your content has always been so comforting and relatable to me.
I've noticed that a lot of creators that I still actively keep up with are also autistic - haha, that's neat!
(edit to clarify: I'm also autistic and late dx)
Hey! I used to watch your videos few years ago when you were talking about your struggles with trichotillomania. For some reason I haven't seen any updates for a long time. Today this video popped up as a suggestion and I got curios what happened to you and your journey. Despite being sad all what you've been through and what people write to you or just life happens, I just wanted to tell you I'm happy to see you that you've become such an amazing grounded adult! You sound wise and somehow enlightened. I'm really sorry about all the negativity and even hatred that you've encountered. Don't compare yourself to people with more conventional lives, you're a brilliant and wonderful just the way you are, with or without a plan.
After a situation with the person that groomed me, I became afraid of the internet. Years on and he has still attempted to contact me so i know he and his minions are watching me. My point being, I get this completely and i’m sorry people are being mean.
Personally I like to see the good and the bad, i like seeing people who aren’t robots. People can’t be happy all the time and it’s unfair to put that pressure on anyone.
Closing off, i think you’re great. I’ve been following you for years, i’ve kept following because you seem genuine. A lot of people don’t to me.
I love that even tho you have had failures, you are still here and still dusting yourself off and trying again, evolving and growing
I like you, Rebecca. You think deeper than most people. Your videos are entertaining reminders of our collective struggles and humanity. Joy to you and your family and friends.
I’ve been following your TH-cam for like 15 years give or take. I need you to know that I adore you!! My heart breaks that people suck. You’re far from mediocre. You educated me to help my clients. You educated me so much on mental health. Never doubt yourself ❤ you’re beautiful on the inside and outside. Your videos make me feel less alone. Be kind to yourself 💜💙
I never comment on videos. But I’ll make sure to personally make sure to tell you everything good.
I’m proud that you had the love that gave you happy weight. I’m proud of you for working on yourself and getting fit again. Thank you for running for cancer. I’m proud of you for buying your own place!! I’m jealous! Haha. One day!!
No one can ignore all the bad. Just remember you do have people that love you and want to see you thrive!!
Seen this today, thank you
Rebecca, I’ve discovered your channel years ago in a pursuit of finding something educational which I was quite surprised to learn your story which first put me at ease with my medical condition as you’ve been very relatable so I realised I wasn’t overreacting. But the most thing that caught my attention your English and the way you hold the conversation. As a foreigner I benefited a lot from your videos by hearing a native speaker which helped me out to practice my speaking. So thank you for that dearly! 10years later I’ve gradually improved it and you’ve sparked a hope in me that I could get it!
Your grateful Ukrainian listener 🤗
I've watched your videos for years Rebecca, more than 10 at least. I don't use any social media whatsoever, unless a comment a year on a TH-cam video counts.
I relate to feeling inadequate whilst others perceive me as being cold or snooty. Im insecure, im average and i am blatantly aware of my short comings. But i am so ok with that now, with each year that passes i just realise im so ok with being content. Being content is a privilege. I've been reckless, I've been depressed, I've felt hopeless. So now I'm ok, good things happen, bad things happen. All i can do is control what i can and that includes the opinions of those around me.
Your happiness always made me smile from the inside. Like a comforting warmth of seeing an old friend in little moments of joy. Your home tour, your op shop videos, the trips with your mum, your old bedroom tour.
Good times,rotten times and the really hard moments, i didn't have an opinion, why should i? I was just sharing in a portion of your life you felt comfortable sharing.
My son is autistic. He is young and innocent and lovely, but the world is not always so, and i hope he encounters more people who celebrate him than those who will criticise.
I tell my kids - Misery really does crave company
- And Comparison is the theif of joy.
I find you to be an incredible and inspirational person. You are so articulate and even when you think you’re not making sense, it totally does to me.
Honestly, I just enjoy hearing your opinions and your views on things. And it’s always great to hear you're doing well! ❤ Good luck with the kayaking!!
I’m always anxious about the things I comment, so I try to limit my comments as much as possible (as a general rule for my own mental health). Regardless, I just wanted to say that I’ve followed you for years, I really enjoy your videos, and I’m sorry the internet is a garbage place to be. I wish you the best.
i follow and watch you because of your honesty
You are amazing. Please ignore the haters and keep on your great journey. Much respect to you for everything you do.
don't worry, everyone goes their own way and at their own pace. to me you look very kind and you shouldn't let anyone ruin that for you.
I have been watching you for what seem like ages but I might have never commented. You have been a big inspiration for me over the year. In fact, you were the first trichster I found online and it mean so, so much to me. I think that there are 10x more of us who appreciate you than the ones who don't. The thing is, we are shy and not in need of express ourselves to feel better about our lives but, i do understand now, that we need to show our appreciation more often. You deserve it. Being neurodivergent is tough but it is also a very interesting experience. I think we are the most creative and fun beings on the planet. Thank you for being yourself! F%^&& off the haters!
It blows my mind how expert some people think they are on who someone is without even being a part of their real life. They think because they see someone sometimes in contained and highly controlled settings, they are qualified to make judgments. I'm so sorry to hear you've had to deal with this on the heels of your self-awareness journey. It is interesting how some people decide what others feel and think and what our thoughts and feelings or things we say "really" mean as if they know us well enough. Last time I checked, no one can read minds. Frankly, anyone who deserves to know someone well enough to make assertions about their inner workings wouldn't dare.
Also, haters and harrassers should get a life. But alas, they lurk on the internet, feeling brave to talk judgemental nonsense from behind a screen. The internet makes everyone brazen experts, but I'd like to see them try one minute of the level of vulnerability you share with your face before the world. They'd buckle under their own self-hatred they insist on projecting on you. They take the coward's way. But not you. You have real courage and strength, which is tested again and again, and here you still are! Amazing.
I found your channel because of the stim toy sharing on your other channel, and I was refreshed to find your Autism content and authenticity on the mental-health fallout from late diagnosis (I was diagnosed 6 years ago at age 38). I assure you, I'm not entertained by your suffering. It's just a gift to be able to relate. I celebrate your unmasking journey and your unfolding self-acceptance, whatever it looks like. I stand with you in being yourself, whether others like it or not. I'm feeling for you in the joy, sadness, and in-betweens. You deserve love and respect, no matter how you feel.
I've been a fan for over 10 years, watching your videos is so relaxing to me. Especially when you were doing unboxing and hauls, loved it! You're little woohoos. But anyway, enough of me cringing ha. You're honestly amazing and the fact that you've picked yourself up countless times shows that's you're a very strong person. Don't listen to people who just spread hate for the sake of it. Also, who says that at 30 we have to have our life put together. I'm 32 and living back with my parents after getting a divorce. Tried living the life I thought was "the norm" but it didn't work out. We just have to see what each day brings us, not everyone is the same.
I have been watching your videos since 2013, which is insane because I have quite a short attention span. I keep watching your videos because they remind me that even though the battle isn't over, I'm not alone. They remind me that even though good things don't stay for long, the bad things aren't forever. Thank you for sharing your world with the internet. I know para-social relationships are weird, but your videos have always made me feel like I was catching up with a good friend over a cup of coffee/tea. Neurodivergent life can get really lonely, and you're videos remind me that I am not actually alone.
This is a cliche, but you can't live your life trying to please everyone and thinking about what everyone thinks about you, because you could be the prettiest, tastiest juciest, and ripest peach in the world but some people just don't like peaches. For me it was around the time I turned 32 when I finally decided I need to be OK with me and everyone else can witness my existence without influencing it. It's not easy, it's a "muscle" you need to flex until get to a point of not even thinking of others perspective. Hope this helps. Also you don't owe happiness, entertainment, positivity or anything else ot anyone. Least to strangers on the internet. ❤ sending you all the fun vibes
Don't let the haters get you down. Some people aren't happy unless they're spreading hate about a person. Just don't let them win.
Just wanted to echo all of the outpouring of love and support in these comments. This was the first youtube channel i subscribed to. As a young tween who pulled my hair and struggled with depression, discovering your channel made me feel seen in a way that i hadnt felt before, and I've always felt such a great sense of comfort in hearing and seeing you speak so openly and eloquently about the ups and downs of your life.
I saw the comments on the last video, and they made me reflect on how the landscape of social media and "content creation" has shifted in the last decade. In a sense i think it reflects a larger cultural tendency towards the commodification of art. These videos dont need to be curated to an algorithm or be marketable in order to be meaningful and important. I think these comments show that these videos are very meaningful to a lot of people, and as long as you enjoy creating and sharing them, we will enjoy watching them. 💜
Side note but I do find your Twitch streams entertaining in the positive way, would love to see you play more Bethesda games 😊
Need to be careful how I word this... this is a game task I swear.... I need to come back to Skyrim and finish off Vitoria :D. Currently to and fro from my parents/my flat and all the set up with the situation isn't that easy. Had problems with mac and my computer, quite tired of all the wires and setting up. Been a few weeks since my last skyrim stream... miss it!
Your art is beautiful. Also your camera setup is so awesome it looks like movie quality. I’m sorry people are so mean. Wishing you the best !
I have to 3 years old daughter who has trichotillomania.. she’s been having it for the last year when she was just 2 years old and just came to know of this today 😢
Do we give up? No
And what do we do when we fall? stand up proud!
You go girl, booyah!
BOOYAHHHHHH
Been watching your content for quite a few years as I enjoy your content and find you to be an honest and sincere person, and I still enjoy coming to your Twitch streams even if I don't say much. As a content creator myself, though more for 3D models I wish you the best of luck for your future. 😊
I've been watching your videos for years now. I always find your perspective on life interesting. Chin up! Never give up :) Thank you for sharing.
Hey Rebecca, after being informed that you received mean comments, here is a cake comment to improve the situation
Cake : 🎂
you have done amazing things ❤ you are an amazing person! you spread love and you help others ! we are always goin g to be here to uplift you ! the love will always outweigh the hate, even when it doesn’t seem like it ❤
For the record, I find you entertaining...because you are a genuinely lovely person and you have a lot of insight.
I have to say this video inspired me not to give up which I have been doing, thank you 💗
How can anyone not like you ? You are so beautiful and so strong to be able to open up to strangers. You help so many people and give them strength to be able to stand up and make it !!
I am very odd... really odd. So I get it ... sort of. I'm odd
@@beckiejbrown I'm sorry if people are mean online my question is this. Sorry if it's a little odd if you knew me in real life and felt safe by me would you cry often infront of me and let me comfort you? Btw my kindness is genuine and you could cry as hard as needed no shame .
I’ve always enjoyed your content (twitch, instagram,TikTok) I love seeing you grow. I’ve always wanted you to succeed in anything you want. I’ve always seen you as a gorgeous and intelligent person . I hope you have a great day. ❤
I am incredibly proud of you, and even though I may be a nobody to you, I am still proud of you. You are incredible and brave.
I think that sometimes it's no use trying to explain yourself to others. It's not to say you shouldn't, no! Just my experience and conclusion I've made for myself. No matter what you (or rather I) say, people struggle to understand. And then, weirdly enough, they get angry at you because of this. Or perhaps it's only natural. But neither you nor I are responsible for their ability to understand us, and it's completely their responsibility to unsubscribe, etc. and go elsewhere when their expectations are not met.
You know, I've watched your videos on and off for years and I don't think I ever commented. All I can say is that when you celebrate something good, I'm happy for you. When you share something bad, I hope it will pass and things will get better. I watch channels like yours because of curiosity about other people's life journeys and perspectives. I do understand and respect your choice to post less and keep more private in recent years. So, mostly, I just want to say that you have at least one person in the audience who doesn't want you to feel pressure to live your life in a certain way or want you to share anything other than what you want to, good or bad.
The internet is a Pandora's box a lot of the time. It's so easy (and cowardly) to drop a cruel comment and walk away but I honestly think your content is valuable in an age of "influencers". Been watching on and off for years, and I admire your courage to be so 'real' when we're getting more disconnected.
here's hoping you get to a space where youre so content and over it you literally laugh at your haters and suddenly they just sort of dwindle to the wayside making way for genuine souls who you inspire!🥂
to the remark you said "easier said than done", well, it might not be easy but it really works. the positive self talk /affirmations or trying to control your thoughts. there's a lot of content out there about it, that thoughts control reality, one of them is joe dispenza. if you want to give it a go.
either way, more life and love to you
Much love! keep after it and may the haters dissolve into obscurity! 💚💚
You are inspirational and entertaining! ❤
I'm sorry that people are so shit. You deserve to have happiness in your life, and be able to celebrate that, and share that happiness with other people where you feel comfortable doing so. But yeah. I'm glad you're still here 💜
Hi Rebecca. I have been a subscriber for years on your main channel and your trich journal. You have always said you are doing the best you can (as most of us are) and everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Thank you for sharing what you have felt comfortable sharing. Your videos help remind me if I am doing my best, that is all I can do. Rather it is tackling a lengthy to do list or just being able to eat and take a shower during a really bad autoimmune flare, all we can do is keep progressing forwards. And progress (as you have eloquently stated in many videos) looks different for everyone. Here are some pink heart and cat emojis to brighten your spirits 💕💓😸🐈.
Sincerely,
Ashley-Tennessee-USA
I have been watching your channel for more than 10 years. I don't know why, but I care about you. You even remind me of my childhood friend, who, looking back, probably is also neurodivergent.
Sad to see you struggle, but from what I have seen, you are very strong and resilient. And there are people who care about you, but I guess such people just don't join any online groups as the haters do, so you cannot see the support. And also we don't always comment.
I remember praying about you when you considered yourself atheist, then feeling happy as you shared your journey with God. What is your stance on religion, God and Christianity now? You haven't shared in a long while
I wish I could give you a big hug. But even if we met and you'd be happy to get a hug, I would be too shy and awkward to actually give one. I find you an incredibly interesting person. Thank you for being so real.
Your life is eerily similar to mine. I'm going into my thirties having been diagnosed first with ADHD, then ASD, kind of wanting a relationship, kind of not, and just generally wondering what's going to happen next. Feeling decades behind is something that's taken me a while to deal with as well. I had the exact same feeling after my ADHD diagnosis of something being missing and then post-ASD diagnosis dealing with skill regression. It's a lot to process. I have found ultimately it's better to have the diagnoses to at the very least have a vocabulary and more tailored advice to draw from (I wouldn't have found this channel without it). Being off antidepressants for the first time in nine years and having to come back into the office again after four years without that numbing effect certainly doesn't help, especially with the constant noise. It's hard to be patient with yourself. All of this to say you're by no means alone. I hope that's a comfort
Every new account I make I make sure I follow you. I've been watching you for over a decade maybe a decade and a half and you inspire me so much. We have so much in common. Please keep checking in ❤
I understand that it's very difficult to disclose a job, but I would be very curious to know what type of job you're currently doing because I've been struggling finding something sustainable that hasnt destroyed me and am getting closer to my 30s. I wish I could do remote work like I see a lot of autistic people doing since it's the best option for our neurotype but I can't do it in my own country. UK definitely seems more advanced in this sense and I might try to find work there in the future! Love your videos and the content you make that has helped me throughout my own struggles! ❤
I watch you because you're relatable
I’m really sorry about all of these hate comments, Rebecca. I take solace in watching you and it makes me happy to see your successes. Those people are just hateful individuals who are not happy with themselves.
Just remembered your oregon vlog only to not find your channel. is this your new channel? And did you delete your old one? Anyways all the best with this one
Just remembered that vlogs i saw were from over a decade ago lol my god how time flies.