James May explains the time he nearly killed Jeremy Clarkson

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 3.4K

  • @thomasbarrett9286
    @thomasbarrett9286 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6077

    I love how both May and Hammond have considered killing Clarkson with a shovel on separate occasions

    • @vehk9377
      @vehk9377 4 ปีที่แล้ว +296

      Hammond also considered killing may with a shovel as well

    • @bjorn-falkoandreas9472
      @bjorn-falkoandreas9472 4 ปีที่แล้ว +213

      Well, we all have been there. Considering killing Clarkson with a shovel is what makes us civilized. You know, in between sips of wine and only after the music has stopped. Mustn't be rude about our Clarkson-killing, must we?

    • @tranz2deep
      @tranz2deep 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Well, it's not like CLARKSON ever will. He's obsessed with hammers.

    • @mtwight9436
      @mtwight9436 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Well, Hammond did bashed Clarkson with a shovel once.

    • @ericgu9036
      @ericgu9036 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Didn’t Clarkson die to a shovel in episode two of season one of the grand tour?

  • @elijahbutterfield4869
    @elijahbutterfield4869 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17105

    "I almost murdered him"
    * smooth jazz *

  • @caboose.20
    @caboose.20 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3124

    It's scary, because unlike Richard, I _believe_ James.

    • @darshanpars4051
      @darshanpars4051 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Dampfaeus
      @Dampfaeus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +124

      "He let civilization .. go out". That does sound very ominous :-)

    • @ElroyMcDuff
      @ElroyMcDuff 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Especially after one of the others had bashed into the back of his car for the umpteenth time and he'd had enough.

    • @fuzzymp
      @fuzzymp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I read “believe” as Hammond lol

    • @TheRealPOTUSDavidByrd
      @TheRealPOTUSDavidByrd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @@ElroyMcDuff I feared for Jeremy's life when James went up with that machete LOL

  • @chickentonight22
    @chickentonight22 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5385

    Only this man can talk about murder and still be very likeable anyway.

    • @marcelliusika
      @marcelliusika 5 ปีที่แล้ว +98

      Probably he got Jaaaagggg.

    • @shurdi3
      @shurdi3 5 ปีที่แล้ว +115

      To be fair, not wanting to kill Jeremy Clarkson makes you more unlikeable than wanting to

    • @markdoldon8852
      @markdoldon8852 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      To be fair consider his potential victim.

    • @jamiewalker8131
      @jamiewalker8131 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Navy seal who killed bin laden

    • @grzegorzzawadzki3693
      @grzegorzzawadzki3693 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Columbo episode material.

  • @daaave_
    @daaave_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9809

    “He let civilization go out”
    Damn that’s deep,

  • @tgrizzly69
    @tgrizzly69 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10783

    “ the closest I have ever came to killing Jeremy Clarckson”
    *sips wine*
    “Well there have been many occasions.”

    • @joshuaevans4301
      @joshuaevans4301 4 ปีที่แล้ว +354

      "obviously"

    • @ChandraKanth7
      @ChandraKanth7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      Godfather vibes

    • @MrYabber
      @MrYabber 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@joshuaevans4301 😂😂

    • @alonsocabezon1
      @alonsocabezon1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      jajajajaj

    • @amarug
      @amarug 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      you left out the one critical word that made the whole thing so brilliant

  • @ElevatedJamTracks
    @ElevatedJamTracks 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10247

    It's pretty clear now who should be the next Bond villain...

    • @rainningstorm
      @rainningstorm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +573

      Imagine a climax. When bond finally confronts the main villian.....and get treated to a 10 minutes monologue about what he could have done better.

    • @gumunduringigumundsson9344
      @gumunduringigumundsson9344 5 ปีที่แล้ว +119

      @@rainningstorm Diabolical.

    • @brmstn69
      @brmstn69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Over a glass of Burgundy...@@rainningstorm

    • @stephanl1983
      @stephanl1983 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      James May in one of his famous shirts😂😂😂!

    • @Mephiston
      @Mephiston 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Trying to steal the worlds supply of curry, brown beer and pies?

  • @raza.durrani
    @raza.durrani 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2332

    I love how James and Jeremy's impression of each other is literally the same voice

    • @caboose.20
      @caboose.20 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      "Yes, we'll need a winch."
      "Why did you do me?"

  • @dannycpayne5
    @dannycpayne5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3775

    News: the fires in Australia finally stopped
    James May with a flamethrower: civilization will rise

    • @danielblom391
      @danielblom391 4 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      I can imagine him in perfect detail, in his normal shirt, faint smile on his face, proclaiming dryly yet jolly that civilization will rise

    • @Henriburger1
      @Henriburger1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I can picture it perfectly.

    • @Stefan-Reiter
      @Stefan-Reiter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Just send Jeremy to Australia & California to solve the fire issues 😂😂😂

    • @sarakudrna2199
      @sarakudrna2199 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is my favorite comment on the internet

    • @matthew_natividad
      @matthew_natividad 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Jeremy clarkson: civilization will fall

  • @chrissss696
    @chrissss696 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8706

    "The closest i've ever come to killing Jeremy Clarkson..."
    *gently sips red wine*

    • @thepuffin4050
      @thepuffin4050 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      That's the English for you

    • @yusufalraqi4903
      @yusufalraqi4903 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ribena

    • @akuaku3496
      @akuaku3496 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bro i love your profile pic
      Blablabla

    • @dylanpyle6500
      @dylanpyle6500 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm British and I dispise alcohol

    • @akuaku3496
      @akuaku3496 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@dylanpyle6500 whats that got to do with anything?

  • @mr.anderson70
    @mr.anderson70 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2849

    "He let civilization go out." One day I'll use that line.

    • @ReinventingTheSteve
      @ReinventingTheSteve 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Have you used it yet? I hope so 😂

    • @mr.anderson70
      @mr.anderson70 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@ReinventingTheSteve Not yet. At least not in a meaningful way. :)

    • @NewEnglandViews
      @NewEnglandViews 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      You just did... well played

    • @bipbong2906
      @bipbong2906 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ace_Dragon_pewpewman_
      hehe drumpf Owned

    • @detectivepatchouli8266
      @detectivepatchouli8266 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      BAD CIVILIZATION !!!

  • @AdventuresThings
    @AdventuresThings 3 ปีที่แล้ว +474

    The way he says “he let civilization go out” just about shovelled me.

    • @defectivepikachu4582
      @defectivepikachu4582 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      well youre obviously not dead yet so we can assume clarkson would have survived it too

    • @AZBEEMR
      @AZBEEMR 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I see what you did there!

  • @AskForDoodles
    @AskForDoodles 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9609

    Title: The time May almost killed Clarkson
    Me: *machete flashback*

    • @commentcritic400
      @commentcritic400 5 ปีที่แล้ว +237

      Exactly what i was thinking

    • @janpokos4086
      @janpokos4086 5 ปีที่แล้ว +636

      "Did your colleage just attack you with a machette"
      "Yes he did"
      "You see you dont get that in gardening shows"

    • @johnobrien1477
      @johnobrien1477 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      First thing I thought of when I read the title

    • @HT-lr1rs
      @HT-lr1rs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      XD

    • @inertiadegreed3879
      @inertiadegreed3879 5 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      Now your going to get macheted to death

  • @Allan_aka_RocKITEman
    @Allan_aka_RocKITEman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3732

    _"There have been many occasions, obviously..."_
    *LMAO....*

    • @potato1341
      @potato1341 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      This man has the patience of a million patron saints

    • @robinm1299
      @robinm1299 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      During the south South American trip when they went to Bolivia on death road and he did not like heights and threaten to kill them with a machete

    • @jonslife3533
      @jonslife3533 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@robinm1299 he stuck it In the car with him , so I'm pretty sure he was close to trying to kill him

    • @AzguardMike
      @AzguardMike 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      he considered shooting him on their trip to the north pole with the shotgun

    • @charlescabbage2933
      @charlescabbage2933 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      What about Alabama part... " Vote Hillary for president" and Nascar Sucks painted on his car

  • @TomNunan1
    @TomNunan1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1737

    Jeremy: turns AC off
    James: You've let civilisation go out

    • @79135clauds
      @79135clauds 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      This really took me out

    • @freddierhodes8201
      @freddierhodes8201 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Jeremy: unplugs the fan
      James: You uncultured, bookburning, worthless swine

    • @schwuzi
      @schwuzi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Jeremy would never turn off the AC, he hates the heat.

    • @scottwhitley3392
      @scottwhitley3392 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      🤣

    • @amyy2403
      @amyy2403 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yo i’m your 1000th like my g!!

  • @tortolini47
    @tortolini47 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1491

    Well James, that's your mistake right there. You should have let Richard make the fire by himself, then it wouldn't have gone out for five days

    • @doktormoney
      @doktormoney 5 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      He would Americanize that fire.

    • @ljt47exploring64
      @ljt47exploring64 5 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      With the help from a rimac

    • @ihateeverything3972
      @ihateeverything3972 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @@ljt47exploring64
      This is fucked and absolutely hilarious

    • @thatfunnykekguy6377
      @thatfunnykekguy6377 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@ljt47exploring64 can we throw a furai?

    • @ihateeverything3972
      @ihateeverything3972 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@doktormoney
      So the fire would burn down the whole cabin and blame it on some minorities?

  • @TheoCachia
    @TheoCachia 5 ปีที่แล้ว +942

    who thought it was a good idea to let Clarkson maintain...anything?

    • @Morpheus-pt3wq
      @Morpheus-pt3wq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      They should kick him out, with words: "you had one job..."
      I never liked Clarkson. It´s one arrogant, narcistic person, which doesn´t have real sense of humour. No, i don´t count irony and sarcasm as humour, neither of them is.

    • @yegorgribenuke6853
      @yegorgribenuke6853 4 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      @@Morpheus-pt3wq hes an arrogant and narcissistic person, but that makes him funny. He almost always expresses himself in irony.

    • @Eisenwulf666
      @Eisenwulf666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Probably Jeremy, he is that narcisistic. I kinda like Clarkson but i admit he is a piece of work. It's a guilty pleasure of mine watching GT, but if it was only Clarkson i would stop.

    • @Morpheus-pt3wq
      @Morpheus-pt3wq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@yegorgribenuke6853 Narcistic people aren´t funny at all. They´re sick and most of them doesn´t even realize that.

    • @WookieWarriorz
      @WookieWarriorz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Morpheus cringe

  • @immortalsofar5314
    @immortalsofar5314 4 ปีที่แล้ว +341

    "He let civilisation go out."
    If there's one phrase that sums up Clarkson's entire personality, that's it.

    • @jones95jb
      @jones95jb ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Haha so true

  • @EmeraldComposer
    @EmeraldComposer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3695

    James needs to make a youtube channel. Seriously.

    • @EshovdTM
      @EshovdTM 5 ปีที่แล้ว +195

      He actually has one

    • @jimgamble2429
      @jimgamble2429 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Emerald Composer agreed..

    • @h0rk3d
      @h0rk3d 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      you are watching it now, actually he got several but use alt name, im guessing because some of the material is ©BBC

    • @MrWolfSnack
      @MrWolfSnack 5 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      He has one, made it after the BBC sacked Clarkson and him and Hammond quit. He just posted videos of him polishing things and making Shepherds pies and that was about it.

    • @xEmoxHobbitx
      @xEmoxHobbitx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      Jester Minute what ?!

  • @karabenomar
    @karabenomar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1344

    "It's promethian" - A very James May thing to say

    • @mulhamtaibani2256
      @mulhamtaibani2256 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      karabenomar 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @tortolini47
      @tortolini47 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      kind sir, you surely mean 'promethean'

    • @shanebarker3131
      @shanebarker3131 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      All he needed was a " Philistine " at the end

  • @colinmorgan7771
    @colinmorgan7771 4 ปีที่แล้ว +374

    i thought would be the Bolivia episode where James is afraid of heights and clarkson rear ends him on the suicide road

    • @rodin3872
      @rodin3872 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      was looking for this comment

    • @MrWhateverfits
      @MrWhateverfits 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I thought this as well.

    • @thiccalbert
      @thiccalbert 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Yeah.
      Where Jeremy almost got machete'd to death by James

    • @younghex9577
      @younghex9577 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My thoughts exactly

    • @thenerdofthenorth8205
      @thenerdofthenorth8205 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      "I told you not to not to do that and now you're going to get machete'd to death."

  • @gingerjester2870
    @gingerjester2870 5 ปีที่แล้ว +655

    I could watch a whole Netflix series of James may doing this. It would consume me for a couple of weeks easily

    • @Mephiston
      @Mephiston 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well, Amazon are planning on doing just this, now that Grand Tour is over.

    • @baeddy1422
      @baeddy1422 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Matt Douglas he Can intertaine everybody to the epokelips,,, ☠️💀👻

    • @yammmit
      @yammmit 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Mephiston Grand Tour is not over.

    • @derbauersmax
      @derbauersmax 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Amazon Prime did it already with just him exploring Japan. Its called „our man in Japan“

    • @F_the_G
      @F_the_G 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      All of them honestly

  • @BThings
    @BThings 5 ปีที่แล้ว +893

    Letting civilization go out sounds exactly like something Jeremy Clarkson would do.

    • @ShortWarehouse
      @ShortWarehouse 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Lol

    • @Marco-iy7lt
      @Marco-iy7lt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Remember, he's always been referred to as the big ape.

    • @trexmidnite
      @trexmidnite 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Civilization left james long ago

  • @Sam_Dabboi
    @Sam_Dabboi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +270

    Next episode: james may explains his war crimes and tax evasion

  • @dave131
    @dave131 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1867

    Not sure what it is about James May. He could talk about the engineering of a pencil for 20 minutes and for some damn reason, I'd listen to every word for the entire 20 minutes. And at the end, wonder why I did.

    • @jesuschrist4088
      @jesuschrist4088 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Dave lmfao same

    • @cc0767
      @cc0767 5 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      I watched a video with him about "why trains cant go uphill" I waa not interested in it and I knew why. Still watched the entire thing and enjoyed it.

    • @bekaemery2918
      @bekaemery2918 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      That is very well put and completely correct

    • @N1RKW
      @N1RKW 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      This sort of thing is why I would, if given the opportunity, choose to meet James May before Richard Hammond despite having much more in common with Richard.

    • @mooneyes2k478
      @mooneyes2k478 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Even better:
      A 20 minute discussion between James May and James Burke. Because they're the same, just not.

  • @SilverScarletSpider
    @SilverScarletSpider 5 ปีที่แล้ว +708

    “He let civilization go out.” :0

    • @gumunduringigumundsson9344
      @gumunduringigumundsson9344 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It was a roundhouse kick to my giggles hahahaha!

    • @johnnyz2378
      @johnnyz2378 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That particular piece of footage wins the internet this evening. 😂😂😂

    • @Kronos0999
      @Kronos0999 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's why he was more mad

    • @oriangalore
      @oriangalore 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂

    • @aredub1847
      @aredub1847 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      brexit!

  • @balf1111117373
    @balf1111117373 4 ปีที่แล้ว +612

    Imagine waking up one day checking twitter and seeing James May has killed Jeremy Clarkson

    • @celticlofts
      @celticlofts 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Finally..

    • @xBaphomet666x
      @xBaphomet666x 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I can think of crazier things

    • @MrSantihomer
      @MrSantihomer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Oh dear!
      Anyway...

    • @joeortiz1358
      @joeortiz1358 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Does that mean he's not coming on then?

    • @Harey0407
      @Harey0407 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@joeortiz1358 Hammond: No, he just killed Clarkson he's going to be behind bars for a very very long time.

  • @ameyab900
    @ameyab900 5 ปีที่แล้ว +770

    I thought he would say Bolivia

    • @iyzyz
      @iyzyz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Almost beheaded him.

    • @Mfh4907
      @Mfh4907 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Lmao the machete

    • @KandiKlover
      @KandiKlover 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Only counting Accidentally kill only here

    • @potterpotty01
      @potterpotty01 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wasn't Bolivia and the machete against hamster?

    • @ameyab900
      @ameyab900 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@potterpotty01 unfortunately you are incorrect.

  • @kolinjohnson6563
    @kolinjohnson6563 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1541

    “Hey dad, can you tell us that story agin?”
    “Yeah dad, tell us that Jeremy story!”
    “Well kids...The closest I’ve ever come to killing Jeremy Clarkson”

    • @removed7331
      @removed7331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Slowly sips wine*

    • @Subpar1O1
      @Subpar1O1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      "There have been many occasions, but this is the one that sticks in my mind"

    • @joelrobinson1157
      @joelrobinson1157 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Which kids?

    • @emiledlund9559
      @emiledlund9559 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mat is at grandpa age now

  • @chris-um2sh
    @chris-um2sh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +105

    something I love about James is how he refers to Jezza and Hammond by their full names, its funny

  • @drasp87
    @drasp87 5 ปีที่แล้ว +667

    May - I have some good news!
    Hammond - Is it the Dacia Sandero?
    May - Erm. No. I've killed Jeremy Clarkson.
    Hammond - (pause) That is good news! (Beaming) Anyway, on to the next film...

    • @bicyclist2
      @bicyclist2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      That's what Jeremy would have wanted anyway. That's what he said in a 60 minutes interview. That if one of them dies, to just move it along to the next subject. Check it out if you don't believe me.

    • @bri___moore
      @bri___moore 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Anupam Potdar “no I’ve killed Jeremy clarkson”
      “.... so he isn’t coming on then?”

    • @MuhammadKharismawan
      @MuhammadKharismawan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah, an agreement the three of them has, pretty famous that

    • @Pyrolysis2142
      @Pyrolysis2142 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      On that bombshell...

    • @mosby985
      @mosby985 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      lmao

  • @FightingForceSoulless
    @FightingForceSoulless 5 ปีที่แล้ว +805

    Ah yes. Did we expect anything else but James May casually sipping some wine while talking about murder temptation?
    Stay classy

    • @jcp1756
      @jcp1756 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Probably not. I'm curious though. If he did 10 of these videos does he exit the pub each time to tell the cameraman to come in?

  • @wilmeroberg9794
    @wilmeroberg9794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    I thought it was gonna be like "I almost ran him over" not "I wanted to but I didn't"

  • @e.hutchence-composer8203
    @e.hutchence-composer8203 5 ปีที่แล้ว +807

    *Breaking news!*
    Jeremy Clarkson has let civilisation go out...

    • @alZiiHardstylez
      @alZiiHardstylez 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Wait until the BBC hear about this

    • @JeanMarceaux
      @JeanMarceaux 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Jeremy Clarkson let civilisation go out, quoted "thinking about Toyota Camry made me do it".

    • @thegardenofeatin5965
      @thegardenofeatin5965 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I was wondering what happened to it, this is as good an explanation as any.

  • @rafih.t.t7141
    @rafih.t.t7141 5 ปีที่แล้ว +357

    "Well its gone out but i couldn't light it its too complicated"
    With his smug face on 🤣

    • @matthew_natividad
      @matthew_natividad 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      CLARKSON!!!!!!

    • @bena3341
      @bena3341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Not being able to light a fire with a Ferro rod while lost in the woods is understandable. Not being able to do so in a log burner with kindling suplied is not.

    • @Mythrell
      @Mythrell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yeah, knowing full well how little effort he did put in the attempt (pretty much zero)... I can see how someone could get mad at that :)

    • @TheBrickGuy7939
      @TheBrickGuy7939 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@matthew_natividad WHERES THE FIRE!!!???

  • @Roadkill-Films
    @Roadkill-Films 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    *"I warned you about this and now you're gonna get machete'd to death."*
    -James May to Jeremy Clarkson

  • @niceguy391987
    @niceguy391987 5 ปีที่แล้ว +328

    Well, you can't start a fire with a hammer. That's the Problem.

    • @adonismaris5761
      @adonismaris5761 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'd like your comment, but it would ruin the number

    • @heirofaniu
      @heirofaniu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Actually you can. Beat a thin piece of steel repeatedly while rotating it and eventually you'll get it glowing red hot.

    • @CanadaBud23
      @CanadaBud23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@heirofaniu But then James would have to listen to Jeremy beat a piece of metal for hours and still have no fire.

    • @heirofaniu
      @heirofaniu 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@CanadaBud23 this is also true.

    • @danielhayes4720
      @danielhayes4720 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      But you can with Richard Hammond

  • @Brad772006
    @Brad772006 5 ปีที่แล้ว +428

    Clarkson seems the type of guy to pay an electrician to change a light bulb.

    • @kennethhwang3425
      @kennethhwang3425 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Lord Motorsports Then rages over how the light is too bright and not hazy or flickering like his old bulb did, then proceeds to punch the electrician.

    • @badly_dubbed2401
      @badly_dubbed2401 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Ant French Photography Ripped of Driftland too.

    • @cvn6555
      @cvn6555 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      He'd break the bulb when he hit it with a hammer, so....

    • @badly_dubbed2401
      @badly_dubbed2401 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Nick Maclachlan Missing the point, since the GT team had no clue about it before being shown them, and used the guys a DL to come up with the required dimensions to do it properly, and to ensure it would work on all the cars they had lined up for the show. They arranged to film at DL and had THEM arrange all the GT props only to not show up. I'd say that's getting ripped off. Before DL stepped in with the idea the plan was to drift on normal tyres in FWD cars which of course would have been utter ridiculous. The GT guys have no clue what they are doing and rely on stealing ideas from others.

    • @badly_dubbed2401
      @badly_dubbed2401 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Nick Maclachlan But they didn't just take the ideas, they ripped them off. As in, done them out of money and time. This is how these pieces of shit operate in order to entertain morons.

  • @rohantreacy1132
    @rohantreacy1132 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    "He let civilization go out"
    -James May

  • @SkipToMahLoo
    @SkipToMahLoo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +177

    The best scene in Top Gear is when the trio went caravaning, and Jermey brought an AK47 since he has to spend a weekend holiday with May.

    • @samcroucher9761
      @samcroucher9761 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      eddy_mt07 what episode is it

    • @matthewwilliams2881
      @matthewwilliams2881 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      "A weekend in .. a box with James May. What am I going to need?"

  • @ryants1
    @ryants1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    This is the most *James May* thing anyone could possibly do while talking about an almost attempt murder

  • @Stinkycheeseman93
    @Stinkycheeseman93 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    It’s honestly so weird. When I first watched the trio on TG, I identified mostly with Clarkson. But the older I get, the more James May makes sense.

  • @llIlllllIll
    @llIlllllIll 5 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    Clarksons last words: "By that terrible disappointment, it's time to end..."

  • @TheAlchemistEmpire
    @TheAlchemistEmpire 5 ปีที่แล้ว +308

    There also that one time when he put a machete to his neck and said "you hit me so now you're getting macheted to death"

    • @TheAlchemistEmpire
      @TheAlchemistEmpire 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@inazuma1 nah it was Clarkson (lmao ur a pussy for deleting your comment)

    • @TheAlchemistEmpire
      @TheAlchemistEmpire 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @VeteranCape who

    • @TheAlchemistEmpire
      @TheAlchemistEmpire 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @VeteranCape he said 'nah it was James' or some bs and started shittalking me

    • @SkippertheBart
      @SkippertheBart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@TheAlchemistEmpire
      Sure showed him.

    • @lewis5796
      @lewis5796 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      what episode was this?

  • @patrikhala1910
    @patrikhala1910 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Anyone else remembered that moment on the Death Road?
    JC: "Moments later, James slowed down to get a mad local passed... and I didn't."
    JM: "I was f*****g straightforward with you, now you're going to get machetted to death"

    • @aditimooley
      @aditimooley ปีที่แล้ว

      RH: "James is killing Jeremy. Things are going well."

  • @Ninja1live
    @Ninja1live 5 ปีที่แล้ว +292

    Jeremy Clarkson said..."I'll look after the fire." (Birds chirping...Time passes.) Who leaves, Jeremy Clarkson...In charge of A FIRE!!! IN-SIDE A BUILDING???!!!

    • @Rschaltegger
      @Rschaltegger 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      a wooden building...that could go really wrong.

    • @Camberwell86
      @Camberwell86 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I also have a loud, stupid, entitled mate and 9 times out of 10 it's easier to say "fine, have it your way" than stand and have the argument with him lmao

    • @gumunduringigumundsson9344
      @gumunduringigumundsson9344 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good point.

    • @falconpowerful2362
      @falconpowerful2362 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      So true, I was expecting something much worse.

    • @falconpowerful2362
      @falconpowerful2362 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      So true, I was expecting something much worse.

  • @dr.leftfield9566
    @dr.leftfield9566 5 ปีที่แล้ว +175

    Why is it whenever I clock James May which is not often he appears more and
    more like an ex 70's progressive rock star.

    • @Pippy1
      @Pippy1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Its because hes british

    • @possibly8180
      @possibly8180 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Almost like the late chris squire

    • @barryjames3747
      @barryjames3747 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Some people just have that look. They dont even try.

    • @MongooseTacticool
      @MongooseTacticool 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Like a budget Brian May.

  • @foshifonuki
    @foshifonuki 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    You know is gonna be a good video when the title say "I almost killed Jeremy Clarkson"

  • @edward2030
    @edward2030 5 ปีที่แล้ว +308

    What about James may on top of death road Bolivia and his machete, he was going to kill Jeremy, because he bummed into the back of james's car

    • @dandman9373
      @dandman9373 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      that's probably because it was Top Gear

    • @sablatnic8030
      @sablatnic8030 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Not because he bumped into James' car, but because he did it again, once more, all over, again! ^_^

    • @ewangibson1204
      @ewangibson1204 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      DanDLion can’t be because the Argentinian trip was also Top Gear

    • @David-ud9ju
      @David-ud9ju 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That probably doesn't count because it was staged. You think they keep the cameras rolling 24/7 and wait for the 3 of them to do something interesting? That would explain why the show costs so much, but it would be an extremely inefficient way of making a television show.

    • @shadowgaming6660
      @shadowgaming6660 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Also the machetes were hardly sharp as was demonstrated earlier when they were cutting the tree.

  • @dankrafted
    @dankrafted 5 ปีที่แล้ว +274

    I had my wedding reception in that pub lol. Lovely place run by lovely people (The Cross Keys in Hammersmith/Chiswick)

    • @Solidcancer07
      @Solidcancer07 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ah you're right!

    • @SenyorCapitàCollons
      @SenyorCapitàCollons 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Will have to go next time that I go to the UK.
      :D
      In which city?

    • @Solidcancer07
      @Solidcancer07 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SenyorCapitàCollons West London

    • @weirdscience8341
      @weirdscience8341 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was born in Hammersmith

    • @weirdscience8341
      @weirdscience8341 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Solidcancer07 the best london

  • @enright13
    @enright13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I like how he describes lighting the fire "with Richard Hammond", almost as if he was some kind of small Brummie piece of kindling!

  • @lockyantonius9895
    @lockyantonius9895 5 ปีที่แล้ว +282

    James's favourite weapon of choice : Machete ( a failed attempt, because of BBC health and safety regulations )
    and a Rock ( a failed attempt, it hit only the windshield )

  • @StalloneSRB
    @StalloneSRB 5 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    This guy is pure gold. Made me laugh hard so many times in life.. Wish there were more people like him..

  • @HighonHon
    @HighonHon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    James describing how he almost murdered Jeremy while there’s calm jazz going on in the background is amazing

  • @bibasik7
    @bibasik7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Jeremy Clarkson: *lets fire go out*
    James May: I'm about to end this man's whole -career- life

  • @NealB123
    @NealB123 5 ปีที่แล้ว +198

    Who hasn't wanted to kill Jezza at one time or another? Or another. Or another.

    • @Trillock-hy1cf
      @Trillock-hy1cf 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nope, as the show would definitely not be the same without him.......:)

    • @Atari-Dude
      @Atari-Dude 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's weird seeing someone I know randomly appear in TH-cam comments. Granted, I only recognize your name from The Warning groups and videos, so we're not actually friends per-se, but still 😅

    • @musefan12345
      @musefan12345 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly. He’s an absolute pillock.

  • @optombomber2980
    @optombomber2980 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I’m proud of you James for opening up to your feelings and learning to act heart to heart with Jeremy

  • @Theemptythroneistaken
    @Theemptythroneistaken 5 ปีที่แล้ว +313

    "I lit à fire with richard hammond" so you basically tried to kill both your co hosts?

    • @Alpostpone
      @Alpostpone 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      To be fair, by this point Richard is pretty much proven to be fireproof and immortal.

    • @Kebbab.213
      @Kebbab.213 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Toi t'es français. On reconnaît le correcteur automatique du "à" lol

  • @mr.grumpygrumpy2035
    @mr.grumpygrumpy2035 5 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    They have the Three Stooges routine down pat. That's what made Top Gear into the international sensation that it was. The show could have been about anything.

    • @timjohnson1199
      @timjohnson1199 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes. They turned nothing into something. Or is it the other way around?

  • @rooneye
    @rooneye 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    That sound the glass makes when he picks it up at 2:25 is oddly satisfying.

  • @Optidorf
    @Optidorf 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    The thing about Clarkson is you need to speak his language before he understands it.
    You just had to shout: "MORE POWER!!" and everything was all right.

  • @kapten-awesome
    @kapten-awesome 5 ปีที่แล้ว +159

    Jeremy "I don't do manual labor" Clarksson

    • @David-eh9le
      @David-eh9le 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Burma Special
      Officer dont work

  • @Tygearianus
    @Tygearianus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    “He let civilization go out.” as he grabs the wine glass like heathen 😂😂

    • @kevinwestermann1001
      @kevinwestermann1001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That's just fancy way of spelling "like a Brit". :P

    • @Javaritto
      @Javaritto 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Civilization died that night in Argentina. There's no point trying to be civilized anymore.

  •  5 ปีที่แล้ว +190

    “I woke up with my man parts inside an ice cube”

    • @rowgli
      @rowgli 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I did think 'as pranks go, that's pushing it'

  • @JSBIRD69
    @JSBIRD69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    God bless you James!
    We'll forgive you... this time!
    Please don't let an opportunity like that pass again!!

  • @ppavery
    @ppavery 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Never mind James you'll get him next time.

  • @The_Foulmouthed_Cypriot
    @The_Foulmouthed_Cypriot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I always thought the "Death road" debacle was the closest James got to killing Jeremy.

    • @LMDProductionsOfficial
      @LMDProductionsOfficial 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Vragamuffin
      “James is killing Jeremy... things are going well.”

  • @BS23Designs
    @BS23Designs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +289

    More like, James May explains the time Jeremy Clarkson *killed civilization* .

    • @SteveOnlin
      @SteveOnlin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      he can't
      Ghandi will nuke him

    • @redocity844
      @redocity844 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nothing like an overreaction. OK we get it, you don't like him. Get over yourself.

  • @poweRaack
    @poweRaack 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I could listen to May speaking for hours and not get tired

  • @forr3st.
    @forr3st. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +684

    “The closest time I’ve ever come to killing Jeremy clarkson......”
    * slowly sips wine*

    • @spicyboy8484
      @spicyboy8484 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @nickys34 not even close not funny

  • @jondouglas843
    @jondouglas843 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    When i think of May coming close to killing Clarkson, i always think of the Bolivia trip, where may threatened to “cut your [Clarkson’s] f***ing head off” after Clarkson had rear-ended him on that Death Road.

    • @jake2355
      @jake2355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Jon Douglas
      “I warned you and now you’re going to get macheted to death”
      “James is.. killing Jeremy”

    • @captainhellhound7451
      @captainhellhound7451 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ahhh Unagi “but, everything is going fine”
      *minute later*
      “Did you cohost just try to kill you?”

    • @MercedesE63S-AMG
      @MercedesE63S-AMG 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And Richard Hammond just sat in his car & wanted no part of that. Lol

  • @TheBrickGuy7939
    @TheBrickGuy7939 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    In Jeremy's defence it is actually difficult to wake up in the middle of the night, get up to do something and can be hard to fall back asleep.

    • @ExternalInputs
      @ExternalInputs 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      If he undertook to look after the fire and slept in the warmest room with the fire in it, the responsibility is his to either set an alarm and do his job, or risk taking a shovel to the face.

    • @TheBrickGuy7939
      @TheBrickGuy7939 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ExternalInputs Hadn't he already been macheted to death?

  • @aldsamanda6114
    @aldsamanda6114 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    James please make your own TH-cam channel.

  • @Paul-pj5qu
    @Paul-pj5qu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    "He let civilization go out"... Got to love that line.

  • @Fay-or3yo
    @Fay-or3yo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i love James' face and him aggressively grabbing the wine when he says that Jeremy let civilization go out. pretty sure he feels genuine anger remembering that moment

  • @conradandrew825
    @conradandrew825 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Must be so great to have friends like these 😂 I love how he's still pissed off about this

  • @dpcummerbund
    @dpcummerbund 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    'Tis a lesson you should heed:
    Try, try, try again.
    If at first you don't succeed,
    Try, try, try again.
    - Thomas H. Palmer

  • @feddomeijerwiersma6955
    @feddomeijerwiersma6955 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “It’s Promethean” is such a great line…

  • @borknypd1971
    @borknypd1971 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    May- I lit the fire with Richard Hammond.
    Me 😳 didn’t know he was a match in disguise

    • @joshmarshall2223
      @joshmarshall2223 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Fortniteproforlife ha isn't that so hilarious!!

  • @alerenesis
    @alerenesis 5 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    I feel like it's about time we create "James May the type of bloke to.." memes. I'll kick this off.
    James May the type of bloke to accidentally scratch your car in a car park and leave a "small note" that says "I'm awfully sorry about this small incident that happened. Although technically it can't be called an -incident- because, historically, the word incident has been usually associated with... + 1000 more words"

    • @immabecoinz
      @immabecoinz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Niiiiiice one

    • @ItsNotAProblem
      @ItsNotAProblem 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You nailed it

    • @wmcleod93
      @wmcleod93 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      James May the type of bloke to watch somebody withdraw money in a train station, drop a ten pound note and board a train before he looked up their potential destinations and post leaflets through each subsequent station listing the items of clothing worn by the individual that day including the rather horrible and slightly Ill-fitting yellow jumper that drew his attention in the first place away from the mechanical marvel that was the flying Scotsman on its annual voyage through the south western counties.

    • @zaynkhan136
      @zaynkhan136 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Doug DeMuro the type of guy to actually bore James May to death with all the “quirks and features” of the grand tour episodes and cars.

  • @impranaysg
    @impranaysg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "He let civilization go out." well when you put it like that..

  • @gustavmeyrink_2.0
    @gustavmeyrink_2.0 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Bottom line: He's had the chance and blew it.
    Unforgivable.

  • @Pfromm007
    @Pfromm007 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    That's why you have to take everything Jeremy Clarkson says with a grain of salt the size of quark.

  • @Lord_Baphomet_
    @Lord_Baphomet_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am so glad for the existence of this channel

  • @Jwnorton
    @Jwnorton 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Did that in the Army - bivwac'd on Graffenwoer, in a small tent. Came back from an area patrol, and had a small stove - the liquid fuel element didn't work, but was given wood by the local Forest Meister. The two other solders were sleeping, and the new guy with us, and watched me feed a few pieces of wood. Fell asleep, then it got terribly cold. Woke up in my sleeping bag, with the newbie sitting there, who commented "It went out - didn't know what to do...."
    Nearly made him eat an M-16.... but, got the fire started back up in a few moments, then, he told me it was my guard duty. Nearly killed him again...

  • @auzell1449
    @auzell1449 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love how we pretty much all expected this to be some kind of near-death car accident or other kind of stunt.
    But no, it's just Jeremy not being able to do something so simple that James nearly lost his temper smashed him at the back of the head with a shovel. Bloody brilliant! XD

  • @ebolarnator1794
    @ebolarnator1794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Such a polite an formal way of putting it. Classic James.

  • @Mr.Korzack
    @Mr.Korzack 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Civilisation 'Too complicated' for Clarkson. Not even surprised, to be fair

  • @NGMonocrom
    @NGMonocrom 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I can see Clarkson doing that.
    Honestly, after that story..... Subscribed.

  • @thephoenix3155
    @thephoenix3155 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    James can tell a story/anecdote better than most people can!

  • @georgejacob3162
    @georgejacob3162 5 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    James nearly killed him in Bolivia with a machete after Jeremy drove into the back of James' car on the worlds most dangerous road!

    • @MrRavellon
      @MrRavellon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      George Jacob nah, that was just a good natured friendly frustration venting. You can recognise it by very exaggerated threats that were not followed through.
      What he just described is a serious contemplation of inflicting grievous bodily harm to his fellow man and deciding against it. You can recognise it by emotionally restrained examination of the object suitable for the task.
      When someone you angered picks up something that can be used as a weapon and just looks at it, not threatens you, not expressively weights it in his hand, but just looks at it in silent contemplation - be afraid. Be very afraid.

    •  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MrRavellon All very poetic, pseudo-psychological and pretendy intellectual, but if someone picks up a machete and runs at you you should probably still be scared even if they don't carefully study it, looking at it in "silent contemplation"
      Just saying...

    • @badly_dubbed2401
      @badly_dubbed2401 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      All that nonsense is staged for your mindless need to be entertained sadly.

    • @MrRavellon
      @MrRavellon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tristan Lane that is if that someone is not your friend or at least good acquaintance. That pause is when the internal conflict between long suffering tolerance and murderous rage takes place. If there is no pause then there was no conflict and so the rage wasn't murderous.
      But in all seriousness, if your good friend is ranting loudly on camera how he's gonna kill you while brandishing a weapon he's very unlikely to actually do so.
      If he is visibly angry at you in private while holding a weapon with clenched fingers, there's a real risk he may just hit you with it, maybe even seriously.

    •  5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@badly_dubbed2401 You must be fun...

  • @hamzaazeem9
    @hamzaazeem9 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    *Jeremy doesn't put log to contain fire*
    May: CLARKSOONNNNNN

  • @dannis8552
    @dannis8552 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1:16 "I lit the fire with Richard Hammond"🤣...English is such a wonderful language🥂

  • @thecaptain7411
    @thecaptain7411 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Looks like we both drink at the same local pub. I'll have to keep an eye out for Mr. May.

    • @amiga512k
      @amiga512k 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mr. Smele crosskeys Hammersmith

    • @thecaptain7411
      @thecaptain7411 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@amiga512k now everyone knows.

    • @Pladderkasse
      @Pladderkasse 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think he wears a fake beard, sunglasses and a cowboy hat in public.

  • @S500-
    @S500- 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I will listen jame may for an hour, He is intresting man also genius.💖

  • @nameless.greyceo
    @nameless.greyceo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I could watch a home series on James may talking with red wine next to a fire, please more of these

  • @T1000AX
    @T1000AX 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    james' fizz meter had reached zero and he was ready to kill.

  • @anomalyp8584
    @anomalyp8584 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I feel like Cluedo should be updated now with "shovel"
    Both May and Hammond have considered going for it 😂

  • @owellwellwell2418
    @owellwellwell2418 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    James may welcoming me in is really wholesome I can't get over it

  • @Hardline1225
    @Hardline1225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Me: *reads title* isn’t it any time we heard him yell... *CLARCKSON!!!*