the “soft life” requires hard work
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 มิ.ย. 2024
- hustling for a soft life?
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intro by:
nicole_collete_...
hustle culture + my experience - 00:00-11:20
"I don't dream of labor" -11:21-14:13
"that" girl -14:14-17:02
"soft life" 17:03-21:35
I think people confuse a "soft life" with a "comfortable life". In a comfortable life, simply getting to rest at the end of your work day and not having 17 side hustles and dreaming of becoming your company's CEO. When I was growing up I thought that kind of life was unimaginative and pointless, but now I realise it is a blessing.
Exactly. I do not want to be no fucking CEO…. Screw that! When I tell people at my job about not wanting to be a boss, they look at me like I’m crazy. Being someone’s boss or being extremely wealthy is not my aspirations in life.
@@JulianSteve i read somewhere and I'm sorry for being so bad with my sources 😭 that this mindset is becoming more present with younger and younger generations. And I think that's good. It has also been my mindset for a long time to one day be able to live like that.
@@anonymoususer9197 I think this mentality is also becoming more prevalent because in today's world, because of baby boomers retiring, jobs are aplenty. It's easy to get and to keep one, you don't need to work hard or even do the bare minimum. Some people use this excuse to be shit employees, but a lot of people just decided to be chill and earn only what they need in a job that doesn't burn them out, and that's a-ok.
@@JulianSteve i live in a culture where i am the weird one for wanting to be the boss, not employed and slow life living.
You have to make money to enjoy the soft life lol. Food costs money. Clothes cost money. Gas costs money. Everything costs money.
Also costs money to just not be in pain. Looking at you wisdom teeth
Yep. Almost everything is not for free🥲
yeah but it doesn't mean not working to live bc ofc that's the world we live in, it just means not striving and working 24/7 to always get more and more and more if you're happy with what you already have even if it's not "much" in the eyes of others and i think there's no issue with that whatsoever, i've always wondered why should people who don't have crazy ambition be blamed for that? it doesn't hurt anybody
Yes but u shouldn't have to over work to afford the basics. I'm paid over minimum wage but have to work over 10rs of overtime to barely afford rent and food in the same neighborhood I've been in for the past 9yrs
yup
Mfs will say people are lazy and don’t want to work, we just want better universal work conditions so we can ALL actually have time to do all the shit we dream of being able to do (such as working out at 6 am and having time to have a real meal that isn’t takeout during our 30 min lunch)
I agree that so many small things get left out of the definition of productivity, productivity is everything that helps you keep pushing and NOT just the silly shit like bullet journals and organizing your fridge by putting everything in glass jars
yes yes yes
The fact is, our time is more precious than what they’re offering. And they don’t like it… they need to take a hint because it’s only gonna get worse though. Especially for a minimum wage job where they’ve shown time and time again they don’t actually care about you… it’s nice to escape to the “soft life” at the end of the day sometimes, that should b understandable
Yessssssssss
Preeeeeeeeeeeach
lists and bullet journals made me miserable
Everybody works hard to get what they want. There’s no correlation between work and success. The problem is needing to work to survive. Nobody wants that.
Bingo!
This 🙌🏽
EXACTLY
YAS
EXACTLY!!! The cost of living needs to go down so people can actually afford to live and their desires should be attainable
I had dozens of "dream jobs" as a kid. Now my dream job is no job 💀
Fr fr
Oof I definitely have no dream job/career. This is why I'm trying to get more disciplined and structure my life because I feel lazy. I was never driven or hard-working bc of my passion for something... I have many short-lived passions, but I never had something that just clicks with me. And I am just now learning to encourage myself and believe in my capabilities. Also, the options in my country for a stable job are limited for women (even for people with whole college degrees....) it's pathetic. So many people left my country already, including my best friend, and she got a job after 2 DAYS of applying.
I've had the same experience. To see people being driven and doing stuff they set their minds to has always fascinated me. Through comparison I often felt less than and more like an anomaly which has led to many many issues lol. But it's totally do-able. You just work a little different and are absolutely capable of doing the same.
I resonate with u on a spiritual level
samn that sounds just like me. I thought there was something wrong with me
College is a waste of time and money. College limits creativity.
@@davruck1 exactly, I was able to get an art career going without having to be indebted to college and ppl have been salty with me ever since
i'm also a creative person, and i've realized i don't have a dream job. i definitely have a dream life, and to survive under capitalism i have to choose an aspect of that life to monetize. for instance art is extremely important to me, so one of my "dream careers" would be to be a full time artist; i also love music, so a "dream career" could be to be a musician; books are also important to me and i want to be surrounded by books, so my "dream job" would be to own a cozy bookstore. but it's not that i actually want to be a full time artist or musician or own a bookstore, it's that i want my life to be filled with art and music and books, and i also have to make money to survive.
that last part !
I really love this perspective. Good luck on your journey:)
i feel you on an spiritual level... i want to have enough time to use my mind for creative pursuits but also survive
i absolutely love this - this is exactly how i feel :)
you said it so well. I love all my passions, and monetizing them feels good, but I would much rather not have to work a second job to make sustainable money.
Growing up my mum told me that it’s not about finding a dream job, just a job you don’t absolutely hate lmao
And it’s so sad that life has to be that way…it’s incredible
Your mom is right lol
It’s great that a life full of hard work is what makes you feel happy but not everyone is that way and it doesn’t make them lazy. It’s so black and white to just think that because it’s what works for you that it’s the right way to live life and that’s what the universal experience will be. I don’t want to work myself to the bone everyday, I don’t have high aspirations to be famous or rich, I simply just want to be able to have my own flat with warm water, heating and wifi, be able to but the things I want and focus on my hobbies. And to live that kind of life means I do need to work moderately. But no I’m not going to be waking up at 5AM to run or swim because that doesn’t make me feel good. Doing a horrible job overtime doesn’t make me feel good.
I'd say smart work, doing what's necessary are effective beats hard work
I used to think that working smart automatically means you’re not a hardworking person so I tend to prefer the “right” way to do things, which actually only made my life harder than it should’ve been. I’m glad I now understand that working smart is a talent I should appreciate myself for.
I'm not sure you're talking about the right things. Great points, but when people say they're "tired of labour" etc. what they mean is they're tired of their bodies and minds being exploided by capitalism, being paid minimum wage or less, working 40 hours or more and still not having enough money, but corporate or whatever will still just expect you to work harder and be entitled, saying things like "if there's a will, there's a way" or something, but there can't be a way because they are the ones paying you like 2$/h
I just want to add that hard work doesn't always get you anywhere. I've done a lot of temp work, and at one of the factories I was at, I met a lady who had been a temp for FIVE YEARS. she was an immigrant who only spoke Spanish. another factory straight up said "that group of ppl over there? yeah they're our core group but they're all undocumented, so every few months they disappear and come back with new names." sometimes all hard work gets you is "not dead yet."
work hard towards your highest good, thats the difference
thiiiss
My closest friends and girlfriend are all very career and education driven, and while i try very hard in school, maintain straight As, and engage in extracurriculars, I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, and i don’t have a ‘dream job’. I’m just preparing myself and giving my future self the opportunity to do what she wants. To everyone who doesn’t know what they want to do it’s okay. I’m 16 years old and I know that I’m young and it’s 100% valid to be unsure about my future. It’s easy to get caught up in these trends, and it’s hard to keep track of the controversy. Just know it’s okay to not know :)
Don't worry, I know alot of people that are in their twenties that did different jobs because it interested them somewhat but its a long journey and you don't have to do the job that you might do for a long time, because in our lifetime we have to work for 40 years at least and there are so many things someone could work as. Its ok if you dont know it now😊
Try out a temp agency and then you can try. Out different jobs and see what kind of work interests you. A lot of skills are transferable between jobs and you’ll learn more about yourself what you like don’t and what boundaries you need with work by trying it out for yourself.
I'm 22 and partially I do the same. I finished uni and work in IT, and it would be relatively easy for me to switch to other jobs in IT. Right now I'm still a little traumatized from education system and I work a very chill job. I know it is not exactly what I would want to do further in life, but I also know I can switch any time I want generally. In a way, I'm also laying background for my future self, I'm slowly learning and I'm saving money and I explore my hobbies a lot. I'm not exactly in the same point as you, since I already know industry I belong to and I'm ready to get some set of entry jobs
I seriously want the soft life. Idk if people think it's lazy. They are happy!!!! Ugh
I did not know this would get so many comments 💀. What I will say tho is everyone here makes sense. Guess I'll see I when I'm finished with high school
But on the other hand. I have dreams.so what do we do now 💀
I don’t give af what people think. It’s my life. It’s my health. Anyone else can suck it. I’d rather be making less money like I am now, having time to create, have hobbies, a social life, but still make enough to live.
same but i'd be so depressed☠️
They're not necessarily happy 😅 but yes it's helpful to not have to work super hard for sure
@@emmabunch-benson4795 almost impossible in todays life
I think the difference for me is getting to choose when and how much i can rest, if it is "forced productivity" i will always get burned out and loose all motivation
yep intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation
It does give me very american protestant work ethic vibes, the way you describe hard work and how that makes people have and deserve the good things in life. I rather see the soft life and cottage core as a reaction to precarious economical positions most people are in nowadays.
Like hard work doesn't automatically mean you'll have enough money to support yourself and it never has but it's empowering to live with that belief. With rising cost of living most people idea of "nice things" is what used to be middle/upper-middle class stability: having a place to live, food security, occasional holiday.
The hustle culture often was the corporate propaganda to make you live for the work neglecting your selfinterest. And I feel like more and more people are disillusioned with that idea.
Nothing wrong with working hard and I think for most people it feels rewarding. It's just the exploitative nature and terms of a lot of jobs nowadays are what making people turn towards movements and esthetics that present less survivalist way of living
yep this
exactly
People don't talk enough about how hard it is to start scheduling your own life and finding meaning outside of labor once you get settled in the workforce and graduate! The sun sets as my bf leaves work and he can't seem to find time to do his run. Now that I work from home, I'm able to be flexible and go to the gym, but it's like pulling teeth with me to even make a proper meal for myself! Or do my fucking job lol! Why the hell am I on that damn phone all day? I am getting there, I go to the gym, eat healthy, fulfill my job duties...but it's just like you said-I'm just drudging through it all. How can I be better when my only goal in life ended during college?
I agree with trying to find a balance between being able to rest and being productive. I was looking for an inspirational quote in pinterest to have a cute reminder of what I want but... the second I refreshed the page I had ten photos telling me I should wake up at 6am and do all work, like, trying to get me with guilt and it's like... no? I wanna be able to work, have the life I want, accomplish my dreams and being able to rest, watch a movie, go out with friends or just stay in home! We need a 2023 with a balance between working to live and just having fun
Laziness is a construct. It doesn’t exist. Great video and several points were made. While I lean into restorative rest I do value stability and I’m realistic about the amount of work I have to do to remain comfortable. But I will continue to prioritize rest of promotions, club scene etc.
My aunt who lived rent free with my cousin and her family, eating their food, putting off finding just something to do, not contributing to the bills, then cleaning out their purses, then moving out, going to the next family member to do the same all over again would disagree with you lol
Laziness is a real thing, but usually misapplied.
@@Starburst514 you described a user and a manipulator among other things. That’s not simply the concept of laziness.
I love the balance of this video I needed it i’m in a weird unproductive anxious place and this spoke to me. I appreciate the way you say things without putting people down and throwing around the lazy stuff.
I’m turning 30 next month. This channel is my connect to gen z culture norms
hahahah
my mom says the same
Same. I’m 32
I mean you should already have some knowledge lol not like you’re tht old. Late 20s-early 30s right outside tht gen z window lol.
Honestly same, thanks for keeping the millennials up to date lol
Throw in cptsd and a tendency to see yourself as either “good enough or not worth anything” and it’s a roller coaster. The career hustle affects me, but it’s just been more of a life hustle for the last decade. How can I catch up on the childhood I missed, the one I don’t remember? Or the healthy relationships and attachment to guys (specifically father figures). How can I pick myself up after the breakdown that comes from years of therapy, undoing and changing all your coping and maladaptive mechanisms? Even that hustle doesn’t turn off and there’s lots in the social media community about needed to rest and be proud of how far you’ve come, no matter how much road is left ahead. I dream of a soft life, but one where I’m just at peace with my own soul and where I can be who my inner child needs. One where my relationships are healthy and built on trust. One where I can trust MYSELF. The career hustle hasn’t even seemed possible for the last decade while I’ve been sick and as I finally am able to focus more on that part of my life, I need to make sure I keep the balance. Everyone needs something different, as long as you remember to give yourself permission/space to be human, to rest, to make mistakes, it’s up to you to decide how much of that you need vs hustle. I think the balance is going to be specific to each person.
The comment I didn't know I needed to read... I relate 100%
I think the fact that you already know this much, means you are very far in your journey to become healed enough to live the kind of life that you would like to live. Talking from experience here ❤️ hang in there.
@@rosalie4069 thanks and yeah I’m def out of the worst of it 💕
I appreciate this comment so much I also have CPTSD and I feel so much shame whenever this conversation gets brought up. I feel like CPTSD always gets left out of the conversation even though it’s prevalent in our evil capitalist society
this comment is so perfect
I really find this interesting. I saw a post one day that said, “if black people are not a monolith, then how black women choose to participate in the soft life shouldn’t be either.” I think when discussing the soft life, we really have to define what it is that feels restorative to us. Especially considering where we align within tax brackets, how we engage/define work, etc. It’s not a one size fits all and nor should it be.
This 🎉🎉🎉
yes .
Totally.
As a Nigerian, I honestly hate how Americans have taken a term we created and turned it into something else entirely.
@@chisomo8088 As an American, I’m sorry. We really do turn everything capitalistic by nature.
I really loved this video and reminded me how I weirdly enjoy working hard? Like you mentioned, for the longest time I had the weird guilt as well. But honestly, I just really enjoy the feeling of being focused and knowing I’m doing better for myself. Heck, even doing weightlifting reminds me how much I like to challenge and be competitive with myself ! This video was a breath of fresh air and you did a great job ❤
This is seriously such an interesting video and has really made me think, like I think the I dream of no labour comes with a huge amount of privilege, like economically, racially, disability, and so many more and i think I agree it is about balance and what people’s limits are ✨ as an autistic person, it’s truly trying to balance working for joy and excitement with society’s needs that I simply can’t and will never be able to attain (like enduring rush hours 24/7 and being constantly exhausted), taking care of myself while still wanting to honour my craft, and especially when you see statics about employment and autism, there’s even more of a pressure to work hard so i am able to live ✨ thank you for making this video, it’s inspired me a lot
@@natalipoland4482 I know exactly how you feel, I literally felt that December last year because it was tough and it was tiring, it is exhausting at mkment tbh
Have you read it? It's great for all those groups you mentioned because the goal is too reduce the amount of work necessary for the individual while still improving everyone's quality of life.
Yes. Exactly👏🏾‼️
@@salina260 oooh maybe I’ll have to read more into it, I was just basing it from this video but I’ll definitely want to investigate it because that sounds great 😋
Exactly my thoughts. Like what about the people that work hard every day just to exist? I have autism too and I work hard every single day just because everything that’s “normal and easy” for neurotypical people costs me way more energy and effort. I do work as well btw and I’m very glad I’m able to. But the hustle culture just doesn’t sit right with me and would be unobtainable for me too. I just wanna get a job that supports society in some way and that pays me enough to live comfortably (with that I mean not having too worry financially.)
I don’t need the biggest house or the most expensive items or the highest job. Thought there are some things I’d like in life, I don’t have any goals I “must” achieve. I’m already happy with my life (even though it’s shit sometimes.) but I don’t anything else. I just wanna live to live.
And I’ll work for as much as I’m able to, but I’m not gonna burn myself out and live to work.
huh so what was that about keeping the video up because some people agreed with you?
did she say that??
@@sylmaerieYes did you listen to her response ?
is it jus me or did she take down her "everyone's got autism now!(and apparently so do i?)" cus jus from a few lil clips I saw it's obvi she must've pissed them off cus those comments were ruthless👀
@connor that's what I've heard as It got taken down before I got to see it but hopefully she takes that as a learning moment n sort out some type of response back as again it sounded very harmful to the autistic community
@@gothwife I hope she learns from it too and sticks to talking about topics that she knows a lot about
I was looking for her video and can’t find it, I’m happy she took that harmful mess down, she was totally out of line
Yes it's a biggg problem if you don't have any structure in your day (maybe not for all people but for many, many people), for me it's definitely a problem. BUT a big problem why people of our generation and probably generations later than us don't want to work as much as people before is that the reward is so much lower. Everything is so much more expensive than in the past. We work our ass of so that a handful of very rich people get richer and richer AND while they getting richer and richer, so many people only can afford the bare minimum or even less. Something that's also very depressing and not beneficial that people would like to work or see any purpose in their work is, that we humans destroying our environment and maybe we can't profit of our hard work in the presence because there is no future for us....
Very depressing comment I know, sorry, but we all have to be aware of that it's the capitalistic system which is the key element of so much problems today and in our future and we have to teach as many people as we can, so maybe we can change the world to a better place for us and people and animals after us. ❤️
I don't think you can claim hard work got you where you are when you have less than 24 hours of total content uploaded to TH-cam and have benefited hugely from the algorithm
And I say this as someone who has been a longtime fan and watched your videos from very early on - because they started getting recommended by the algorithm!
You didn't work hard, you got lucky, and I really don't think you are the person to be preaching about the value of hard work!
Your day in the life video really demonstrates the disconnect from the average person, you worked for like 2 hours, went clothes shopping and watched TV during the day
Not trying to be a massive hater but most of the people you're branding as 'lazy' probably work 40+ hours a week for pretty subpar return on their time invested and just want something better
100% agree!
so true!!!
I don’t think that’s fair. You’re not taking into account the time it took her to plan and the the creative process of her content. There are probably other projects she is working on aside from TH-cam. So who is a total stranger to say that she doesn’t work hard ?
You dont have an entrepreneur mindset and it shows
@@fllowerknight yea but even then you actually can't get monetized if you create kids content. even IF you are a child. honestly, it's a complicated sitch.
The trick about capitalism and why people are over it is because no matter how hard you work, the finish line keeps moving back. Rising prices and inflation make all living expenses go up every year, but our wages stay stagnant. And when the working class ask for help or ask to level the playing field thats when the likes of Kim K and Greg Vee say well you don’t want to work or your not working hard enough. Gaslighting us into thinking it’s our fault and we’re lazy for even asking. All to keep up this charade that capitalism is great only because it’s working for them. Thats the rub. No one wants the soft life trend, because thats all it is. A trend. A gimmick. People will work hard, but there needs to be guarantees set in place first. What working people really want is security. Security that all their hard work will pay off, that all their hard work will at least guarantee basic necessities. The American Dream was no dream at all it was a bargain with the American people. You work hard, you will achieve security. But the problem is the owning class is not keeping up with their end of the deal and continue to strip away the little securities we had in the first place. So, as a result, folks are checking out of this whole hustle culture, work until you die narrative. Not because they’re lazy, not because they are not productive enough, but because there’s zero incentive anymore.
I’m currently living the soft life and I love it but it’s also hard sometimes
What do you do for a living to be able to do that please?
People are tired of working more for less. I'm sure anyone who is around 50 years old like most of our parents can vouch how back then things use to be cheaper, how people worked 40 hours optionally and were able to live comfortably with 1 job, how college was a luxury and not a necessity for a job to be enough to take care of our basic needs, etc.
We don't want to work more than back then just to get less than what people had back then. Basic necessities such as housing shouldn't be so difficult to obtain and people just want to pursue financial stability which shouldn't be so difficult, ESPECIALLY for anyone with higher accolades.
Shit is expensive and it's not fair
Oh they got your tea now!
I feel like your commentary is obviously very based on your own life .
I do know you did go trough hardships, but you seem to have been rooted into the capitalistic , and overall individualistic way of thinking that the level of productivity=the level of success, which we all should know will never be true .
Mental health is in crisis , specially depression and anxiety, i for example, can't get out of bed some days , i am not resting , i just can't do it , and lots of ppl suffer with similar things.
People work to survive, I'm not from the USA , so i find the whole "Hustle culture" very weird , where i live everyone works because they have to, we don't put particular worth on people killing themselves to achieve better jobs , i mean we'll congratulate people ofc but it's not such a big thing
(Also, this is in no way an attack to you, i apologize if this rant seems like it)
My two cents: rest when YOU need to, take breaks when YOU need to.
Don’t let ppl on the internet control YOUR life :)
Gosh I feel this so deeply. I've been self-employed (wedding photography) for almost two years now, and I recently realized my resilience has TANKED. I'm single, don't have any kids, and live with a busy roommate who's not home much, so besides my clients, nobody really depends on me for much. I love being able to set my own hours, work the way my ADHD brain prefers, and not having to commute, but the lack of accountability has made it really easy for me to just give up on something if it doesn't go my way immediately. I've done a good job of deconstructing what I've been taught about productivity and work being tied to my worth, but now I'm ready to reconstruct my own vision of what hard work, rest, and balance look like. Realizing it doesn't have to be ~*girlboss hustle culture babe*~ OR all rest all the time--the healthiest place (at least for me) is in the balance.
I appreciate this take! It reminds me of how the definition of self care has been a bit distorted to always mean “relaxing” when really self care also means showing up for yourself and doing what needs to be done. As someone dealing with a mental illness that has a significant impact on me, it’s been difficult to find a balance. :/ Especially since being productive CAN feel good when it’s not forced upon you. Excellent video as always, Madisyn, it gave me a lot to think about!
being unproductive really hit me like a bag of bricks this past year. i graduated high school last summer and was supposed to go abroad to study, but it didn't end up happening so i'm now basically doing nothing till the fall semester begins... i really feel like i've embraced being lazy and it's horrible. i do most of the chores in my house and i workout three time a week but still feel like i'm falling behind life. i have a job interview tomorrow so that's promising lol.
Not that comparison is the answer, but I have to say that doing the chores, and working out three times is still pretty good! In high school, I spent most of my summers lying and bed and watching Netflix. In college, I felt guilty for this - during the summers I ofter worked 40 - 50 hours a week. On my days off, I often felt stressed because I had to make the "most" of it. These days, I definitely teeter between both ends and I am really trying to find a balance. I just realized I made this all about me... Anyway, good luck on the interview! I hope that and any of your other future plans go well! :)
@@devanmcculloch2794 thank u so much for your sweet words!!!
Hear me out, do some courses on coursea! a bunch of them are free and they're are so many good ones. Im doing Standfords introduction to health and food nutrients since I want to become a dietitian and im taking Yales The Science of Well Being since I want to become a happier person, but there are litteraly course for everything.
Or pick up a new hobby, I personally enjoy reading and yoga but You can do absolutley anything
i had this in the past. it made me miserable
i understand and completely agree that consistent rest and the “that girl” phenomenon comes from a lot of privilege because living that life is inaccessible to so many of us. but i also think conversations around productivity and capitalism cannot be had without thinking about disability. when people say “push yourself out of your comfort zone”, it often translates into ignoring accessibility and accommodation needs for disabled folks. we are told to “just get over it”. and trust me, most of us KNOW that lack of mental and physical stimulation leads to a sense of impasse but often it is impossible to do some things/most things because of disabilities and that shouldn’t be a bad thing. i think we need to push against the idea of morality attached to how much work we do or how productive we are because some people are never going to be “healthy” and that shouldn’t be looked down upon. we’re valid even if we’re not healthy. that doesn’t mean we don’t strive for a better wholesome life for ourselves, but how can we build a community that supports people who are less able to do that individually? i’d love to hear your thoughts about it.
this video is for ppl in first world countries frrr
aaaand for middle class people. Because I am first world country but lower than them and I simply don't have these privileges
Being naturally hard working and liking the process of work is actually pretty rare. Most people have to learn the skill of prioritizing productivity. I like how you say “I value hard work” because it makes the idea of work seem less like a struggle and more like a strength of character. I don’t naturally like to work hard. In fact, I could lay in bed all day if I didn’t have structures in place to work, and some people just need to admit to themselves that not being a natural hustler is fine, and that having to facilitate a work ethic-or work hard at working hard-is going to have to be learned. It’s not easy, but it’s rewarding and fulfilling and that’s what life is about. While I don’t love working super hard, I give myself a hard time if I don’t. The peace of mind of knowing I do the best I can every single day is worth the discomfort of having to do the work to get there. Luckily, I am making progress but by bit to become a person I can be proud of, and work for what I want.
i’ve been struggling with motivation to do simple things in my everyday life, it’s been taking such a toll on me and this video gave me a whole new perspective and ideas without any kind of guilt or surrounding shame i already put on myself for feeling lazy, thank u madison
if a person wants to hustle to achieve their dreams, or bc that makes them feel accomplished and happy, do it. that's great, for them. not for me. people shouldn't have to hustle to survive. some people literally can't be productive in the ways society deems acceptable bc of disabilities, either physical or mental
a 40hr/week min wage jobs should be able to afford a person a good life. period.
this really resonated with me. i think it's partly about the type of person you are, i'm more inclined to enjoy 'hustling.' i'm also in a position where, through both privilege and luck, i'm able to work on things that i am passionate about, i know will take me places, and i don't have to worry about my basic needs being met.
This is a good analysis. I just finished college in December, and I am only just starting to fully enter the work world. I have found it hard to know how to balance my life out already, considering the decreasing job market here in Canada. I don't want to do fall; behind, but I know what it's like to be burnt out, and to act too fast.
I appreciate this compassionate approach. I have better social standing than some people, and I don't want things to be too easy for me or reject the difficulties of work, because I know it's worse for someone else.
There's a decreasing job market in Canada? Why do they even keep advertising job opportunities available for people outside Canada in Canada? I'm just curious
@@dottystan8760 I may have been just referring to me. There are lots of people hiring, I've just found it hard to find work, and I know certain jobs are hard to find for my skills.
Ngl i love this soft life (or whatever they call it) thing and i'm so happy that more and more people are stepping away from toxic hustle culture. I've always wondered why people who don't have crazy ambition are being blamed for that? It doesn't hurt anybody, even if it's out of laziness like it's their lives not yours? I you wanna hustle, cool, honestly, go get that bag, be proud of yourself for the amount of work you've put in, you really deserve it! But simple let others do whatever they want for their lives, don't try to convince them they not happy because they're not living that lifestyle or guilt-trip them because they're not reaching their full potential or whatever other stupid argument i've seen going around for years and years like tf is that?? Some people have litteraly wasted decades of their lives because of that crazy mentality that was forced onto them.
I don't come from a whealthy family, both sides of my family were all blue collar workers, my grand-parents are immigrants and had no other choice at the start, then they got opportunities but since they were happy with what they had, they didn't feel the need to strive for wealth, even though they could've, trust me. Same for my parents even if my mom is now that she's almost at the end of her carreer more middle-class than working class bc of her job, but she still doesn't gain much money, honestly, she's just living comfortably because she's not attracted to a wealthier lifestyle so her salary is enough for what she does with it. And i'm honestly happy living like that too, i don't especially want to possess a lot and invest my whole being into my job for that even if i like it a lot, i do what i'm supposed to do, not the bare minimum ofc but just the right amount you know, yes sometimes i work and invest myself more into it but as we all have to do sometimes in life because of a temporary situation (this can also apply to personal relationships btw). I get my check and that's it, as long as i have enough to live comfortably (even if it's not an expensive lifestyle) and a bit of savings just in case that's all i need.
It doesn't stop me from being education and carreer driven but in the sense of doing something you like, not aiming at the very top (and if that's the contrary for you that's just as cool, again, as long as you're happy). I don't want my life to revolve around and be defined by my work, even if i obviously need it to live, I want the other things to be just as important (if not more) and that is a sweet life to me, and I don't understand why for some people this mindset is so bothersome, how we live this kind of life doesn't stop people who want to strive and prosper to do so, and we don't deny the amount of work they do nor their achievments, on the contrary i'd even say, so this respect should be mutual to me.
just adding another perspective here, like you said you do speak from an insurmountable amount of privilege just from being able to successfully monetize a creative career for yourself, the reality is that most "dream" jobs or jobs that would be the labor of love aren't accessible to most people due to just the general demand vs supply of these positions in the current economy - most people are stuck in jobs they are only doing to make ends meet, in addition to terrible work conditions that might leave them too burnt out to focus on striking that balance (speaking personally i have a job that leaves me off at 8pm/9pm on a daily basis) which is where the defeated attitude comes with for "i don't dream of labor"
Definitely! I wanted to be free of the pressure to be productive so I just sat on my bum for 6 months. It made me soooo depressed it was horrible. Then I picked up two jobs as a nanny and learned more about my craft (making music). Now I work as a nanny, it is an ideal job for me, brings me a TON of joy and the short hours are perfect for my lifestyle of not working too much. When I'm not working I'm chilling with my dogs, producing my beats and music, singing, rapping, writing lyrics. It's a perfect place to start for me.
The paradigm shift of thinking about productivity as beyond your work life, but seeing productivity as all of the other parts too; laundry, dishes, going to the gym, participating in a hobby, seeing friends...those are all productive as well. That take is refreshing, love your videos Madisyn!
THANK YOU for this video. I recently had a similar mentality shift, and I feel like I’ve had a whole awakening. I definitely think it was partly just being ready to get better, but I feel like my entire life has shifted. I really had to sit down and evaluate my life and my priorities and realize that I really can live life the way I want if I simply live the life I want, within reason.
Finding a healthy work life balance is also really key. Maintain healthy boundaries with work. Instead of feeling like I’m just working for ~the man~, I try to reframe it like with my participation in labor, I can work to advocate for myself and fellow workers and contribute to my community. There’s no doubt a lot of not so great things about the capitalist system, but there’s power in not letting it ruin your life. My 2023 mantra is “The greatest rebellion is joy.”
there’s a good amount of nuance to this video that i appreciate, but i remember feeling weird when i watched it because… there are more factors. my boyfriend immediately popped into my head. his parents left the mormon church, then got divorced. his mom became chronically disabled and she can never work again. he had to grow up without his dad because he couldn’t find work closer to the family. he despises work because he has severe cptsd and depression and going through college working full time while processing all of this. i thought this take was a bit “black and white” (hate the connotations of that saying) and then you came out with your video on autism. :/// i am autistic and have quit every job after 6ish months because of daily mental breakdowns. “work” isn’t the same for everyone and it doesn’t have to be an aspiration. i want to work to make enough money just to spend time with the people i love.
I really loved your comment on stability vs comfort, I haven’t thought about that distinction before, but I definitely agree with you! Lately I’ve been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone by pursuing interests/activities that feel fun & interesting, and each time I do I feel so much joy and fulfillment. I agree that life is all about balance, and what balance looks like for someone else may not be what balance looks like for you, and as we change our balance changes too. Same thing can be said for what a “productive” morning routine looks like - the “that girl” aesthetic romanticized such a specific idea of what a productive morning routine is, and I think it can be easy to fall into the thinking that this is what I’d like to aspire to, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the routine that is fulfilling or best for oneself.
i was never really an extremely productive person but i used to have ambitions and specific goals, then tik tok and this "rest" mindset kind of damaged me and i am really trying to get out of that side of the internet and get motivated to work
GIRL ... the way you look BETTER AND BETTER , UR SO BEAUTIFUL OMG
i totally get what you mean about needing a certain amount of hustle culture to sustain your lifestyle, and how too much of doing nothing can make you lethargic. hustle culture isnt a problem in itself right? if it suits you, it suits you. my personal problem with it is that i burned out at 25 years old because i felt i had to get by without external resources. im very privileged to live in the netherlands where there are more (accessible) safety nets for people with disabilities and illness. i feel confident that, had i lived in the united states, i would now be homeless or dead. hustle culture is a great way for the rich to convince some of us that hard, backbreaking work is trendy and commendable to do. and not being able to keep up with it is a personal flaw or skill issue. that, i resent. i dont want people to end up like i did, even if im well taken care of. it still (likely permanently) disabled me.
Love hearing you talk about this, your personality is beautiful
This video is so good! I did not expected to be nuanced about this topic. I appreciated you for bringing up your family’s background and privilege. Most of these TH-camrs be forgetting that they have some type of privilege than the average person. I can say that I did not grew up middle class or upper class. My family is lower class, but things are different now that I have a degree and job. Still does not mean I am getting paid a reasonable amount nor able to move out (NYC prices are insane). Baby steps everyone. Baby steps😭💯
Also though I think the 'soft life' is less about not working and more about not making your life revolve around work. Basically, leaving room to be satisfied with what you have rather than always trying to climb the corporate ladder. I prefer the TFU definition because it is more about a relaxed enjoyment of life rather than a life without work or sacrifice, which is of course impossible. But the soft life is about prioritising certain things over others. Of course it is not reasonable for the vast majority to just not work and do yoga all day, but practicing gratitude and mindfulness is accessible for everyone.
Your confidence is beautiful
Thanks for being you
I just wanna let you know how much this videos helped me out I’ve been procrastinating for sooo long and I kind of got a wake up call when I did bad on my winter exams but I got back into my lazy habits recently and this video gave me the motivation to actually do stuff today I studied, did homework made myself dinner instead of ordering fast food,I even got back into some of my hobbies IM IMPROVING !!
Dude this perspective is so needed. I feel like with many things in our society, our generation often swings between two opposite extremes. Lots of all or nothing thinking that leaves us feeling worse. Truly, like you are saying, its all about balance. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water as they say. I think we are also encouraged online to live for instant gratification and to always feed our pleasures regardless of how much it hurts us. This mindset is really what kills us in the end. Dreams and purpose nurture our spirit and keep us going! Find that balance and you will thrive with all that you do ✨
This is so crazy because I kind of half heartedly clicked on this video but everything you’re saying is completely what I’ve been needing to hear. Wow. It was so poignant to hear you say the more you rested the more depleted your energy became. It takes someone else saying it sometimes to really hear it. Thank you
i recently watched an improvementpill video on the "locus on control" and motivation, that basically said that the more you feel in control of your life, the more you can get done. and that feeling of internal control can start with little tasks like laundry, going outside, etc.
this video is exactly what I needed to hear rn. 18th birthday just passed, freshly into adulthood after spending the past 4-5 years of my life basically doing nothing but reminiscing and analyzing my childhood and other traumas that have happened along the way. I dropped out of school at a young age and did homeschool cause my family traveled alot but then I just stopped doing schoolwork all together and finding motivation got harder overtime due to other reasons as well that I won’t mention. Pulling myself out this ick of not being productive nd pushing myself to find goals has been hard but it’s also been such an eye opener spiritually and physically. Taking time to really educate myself through school, the internet, books, looking for healthier and positive coping mechanisms, workout, go outside more often especially by myself I’m so use to being with family or people I’m close with it’s time to get uncomfortable. But always finding a balance mental health is so important to me. Can’t wait to start this new journey of my life I don’t expect it to be perfect I know I’ll make mistakes going forward and I’ll continue to be scared of what the future holds but I will give it my all to get what and where I want 💗
I totally relate to this as a creative person, there’s this innate drive to create, to experience life, to do things! I tend to get really depressed when I’m just “resting”. We need both sides! Great video!
This video describes EXACTLY how I felt for most of 2022. Actually incredible to hear it come from someone else's mouth, thank you for sharing
The 'I don't dream of labor' convo also got the best of me to where I 'rested' most of 2022 and it wasn't a good feeling because while rest is important, I can't rest my life away, (balance is needed in all areas) so a switch flipped towards the end of December (like clock work) and I got back into the swing of going to the gym and editing videos. Time doesn't wait for anyone.
Everyday im getting closer to graduating high school and there was this certain point where I was on work mode and couldn't stop. Here I am now trying to recover from the laziness and fatigue I've had its rlly difficult because being constantly reminded that I'm going to be an adult in a few years and its scary that I don't know what to do when I'm older. I feel like everyone needs a breather and try not to pressure urself
I graduated high school last May. I was scared at the beginning of my senior year to graduate high school because I didn't know what I wanted to do. When I graduated, I still didn't know what I wanted to do, but I wasn't afraid anymore because I realized that it's completely reasonable to be 18 and not know what you want to do. It's okay to spend time on the question of what do you want to do with your life. It's an important question and it does deserve a good amount of reflection. Definitely don't pressure yourself into immediately picking something to do. Experiment with different things that pique your interest first.
I'm in college majoring in finance now. I was computer science major for my first semester but it really wasn't for me. I also got a part-time job to pay for my singing lessons because I always wanted to be able to sing well enough to make good music. I probably won’t become a singer as my career but I know I'll regret it if I don't at least try to pursue it a little.
Anyways good luck to you!
"Poverty was not built to be broken"
Excellent. Just excellent.
I love this video. I write, and my sister told me, "Go have fun this weekend, you always work." -But as a creative, the line between work and fun is blurred beyond recognition. So glad I found your channel!
I live in México and I fully understand this movement, the way the salary is so low and the amount of extra hours you have to work (a lot of times not paid) is horrible, even if you have the degree, the rent is getting higher in touristic places like in mine, PV, is insane how we are getting paid for so much effort and we cannot even survive, besides the fact in Mexico there is a huuuuge shame for not wanting to work more than 8 hours or being in situations that are abusive
so we’re not gonna address the video ?
fr like….wow
i can’t support her anymore
Wait a bit
@@shinobuily girl i see u everywhere omg
Apparently 💀
this was really inspiring, not a lot of people tackle this topic the way you did
this video affirmed me in my career decision. thank u! and you are right there is nothing wrong with working hard, and optimisation!
labor has always been necessary to survive however i feel like its become very impersonal due to capitalism. theres not much to enjoy about working because it doesnt often feel like we’re working for ourselves
This video resonates with me so much. You need balance in both work and rest. Too much work or too much rest is a bad thing.
Not sis playing Jordan Peterson.
my life goal is to have a comfortable income that i can live with, a comfortable house with enough bedrooms for my potential future kids have their own bedroom and to spend my days with friends and family that i love and that love me back. i dont wanna be unnecessarily rich i just want to be happy. i wanna be able to spend time in nature and spend time doing 'nothing'. i dont exactly HAVE dream job, im just following life and seeing where it takes me. I take classes and courses that interest me instead of ones with high paying jobs at the end. the way i see it, i could be hit and killed by a car tomorrow and just like that its all over. i dont want to die knowing that i didnt live my life for enjoyment and spent my days trying to get money that i dont actually NEED, id much rather spend my potentially limited days appreciating the earth and fellow humans instead.
GIIIRL i was honestly wondering this morning how come no youtuber made a commentary video on the soft life - you are reading my mind! Great job as always
I’d also like to point out that if ur goal is bettering ur mental health or improving self-love, then rest and self care can be part of ur work towards that goal!!
Solid points made. Happy you’re flourishing. Looking forward to catching more of your content. 😊
ooofff girl. I relate to all these things you mention about your experience of the hustle culture!
Finally someone who speaks to me
I spent basically my whole childhood and teenage hood doing the whole hustle thing. I was a very ambitious, passionate child. But I had to be, because I have learning disabilities, I had to work my ass off to stay at the same level as others. I didn't work smart I worked long and hard, forgoing meals, sleep and fun. I went for runs every day and I valued myself based on productivity. So right now I am burnt the fuck out. I'm in college but I'm struggling to do basic things, work still has to come first, but I find myself procrastinating because of anxiousness. I dont think any of these lifestyles are the universal answer. Everyone is different and is going to need different things at various points in their life
Couldn’t have said it better, also very relatable - you’re not alone xx ❤
this video is so well said!! i had a summer in college where i didnt take any classes or do an internship and just lived on my own and it literally became so hard to get out of bed and do something bc i had it in my mind that i needed to relax. looking back that summer was the worst one i had bc i had no structure and i was super unproductive which led me to being unfulfilled. i didnt have any hobbies either so id just watch tiktok all day. compare that summer to my last one where i had an internship. i found new hobbies, i worked out, i hung out with friends. it was honestly the best summer i had in a while bc i was productive in a healthy way. working should not equate with being miserable. there is a balance to everything
You’re my favourite “That Girl” I really admire your drive and you’re soo good at what you do! We don’t deserve youtubers for all the passion time & resources they put in, just to entertain us?! Also I always make sure to watch your ads 😉
LOVEEEE THIS. I’ve also had to learn the hard way that to rest, you don’t have to cut out things necessary to your routine ex. exercise, it just means removing your foot from the gas and cruising for a while. It means strategically adjusting your to-do list, not throwing the whole thing away. It’s very odd how people say resting doesn’t = lazy but they clearly believe it does based on how they approach that “rest”. Becoming sedentary when you normally are not, actively ignoring tasks you notice make you feel good now that they’re absent, and procrastination is not rest. It’s self-neglect. It’s lazy if you know you are able to do something essential and actively choose not to. But I guess it takes knowing yourself to defend your own routines from others to avoid becoming what you aren’t. Rest has always appeared to be very subjective and to contain levels, it’s far more complex than the dominant conversation offers that you begin to expose here. But the idea of balancing rest and productivity implies rest is not productive when it is (or easily can be) or that work is not rest (which also easily can be). Separating rest and work in this way perpetuates the dominant paradigm that interprets rest and work as separate entities that naturally oppose one another when they don’t. Your lifestyle has an element of relaxation built into it, you love your work and present that you’re very happy doing it. You don’t wake up dreading your job and in the process draining your own energy. Things that are “restful” are things that restore our personal energy which I’ve found to be a far more accurate representation of rest.
I want the soft life
100 percent believe that too. As a creator myself sometimes I feel like I work too much, and sometimes like I don’t work enough. Hard to find balance and stay focused and consistent. Thank you !
this was what I needed to hear fr. the hard truth! thank u Madisyn ily
0:40 I think it's more about people are over the fact that a 9:00 to 5:00 job doesn't cover anything anymore. When I was 19 I was working two full-time jobs (72hrs a week) I got turned down for the cheapest studio apartment in my area because I didn't make triple rent ($3k) a month. It's so disheartening to work every waking hour of your life, choosing between a good night's sleep and a full stomach, just to be told you can't live anywhere unless you split it with someone.
I love the soft life “trend.” It is a lifestyle that I think encapsulates productivity, responsibility,balance, rest, and happiness . It takes a lot of work and self awareness to achieve that.
new madisyn brown vid yessss itsa good day
why are Gary Vee and Jordan Peterson unironically in this 😭
ikr? Hopefully we don't get any rants on the black-dragon-of-chaos in future vids😬
I love your channel so much I just watch your videos whenever I feel very low
hi madyisn, btw loved your new single ❤️
Yeah I CANNOT live day to day without goals. Idk how people do it. I may be a type A personality, but I need to have goals and dreams to look forward to. Otherwise, what am I working towards?? Why am I waking up each morning??? Even when I’m down and feeling depressed, what gets me up in the morning is completing a goal I’ve set for myself. Love this video, thanks for staying true to you!
I wonder what that feels like. To me I would be exhausted if I always felt like I needed to complete a goal.
I've never had a drive to "succeed" in life so to speak, but was always curious what having that drove would feel like, how would my life be different? Interesting to think about.
@@sydnerxx I have an anxiety disorder, so I think the "drive" to complete/have a goal varies from person to person based on their upbringing, life influences, genetic makeup, etc. Sometimes I wish I could naturally be more relaxed, but having goals in my day-to-day life really helps me to get up and get going. Completing goals somehow reduces my anxiety because I feel like my life's purpose is being fulfilled. I hope this makes sense.
Damn, so inspirational! Thank you for talking about the balance between productivity and rest.
excellent video, very glad to hear you encouraging this mindset and great attitude yourself!
I wish I had a dream job as it would make me much more willing to put in the work. Or rather I wish I knew what my passion was. I envy the people who knew what they wanted to do since they were kids. Rn I'm just stumbling through life trying to figure out my "purpose."
Damn I needed to hear this. What really resonated with me what you said about getting more done gives you more energy vs. when resting putting your laundry away is draining - ain't that the truth. I have BPD and I sufferrrrrr when I need to relax for a few days to get back on track vs. when Im working towards goals (capitalist or creative - doesn't even matter), thats when I feel I have conquered my illness and begin to live a life I love. Balance between inner and outer accomplishments is the key for me . Love your videos - Im a white irish woman and you educate me and give me perspective and I'm happy I found you