I learnt the hard way that it takes a lot to step away from the people you've been conditioned to love "unconditionally" and be around. It's peaceful the moment you do but the moment you do... bliss
The family only cared about image and OP should've told Zoe that she no longer her sister anymore and that being reminded of a childhood promise to be each other's maid of honor was thrown out the window the moment she and Nolan got together. This is one of the worst thing that a sibling can do to another sibling.
I've been looking for this comment........the moment OP Nolan started being distant, i knew he was cheating but when OP said people saw Zoe and Nolan together a few months after yeah those two started seeing each other long before the breakup
The OP is within her right to be upset and betrayed at what both her sister and ex fiance did and no one should ever tell to put family first because they won't be so willing to do the same thing in the long run for sure, so the OP should do what is right for her and be done with it down the line period.
Things you should never tell those who've been wronged: 1) But fAmiLY 2) Just be the bigger person to keep the peace (I hate this one the most) 3) It's no big deal 4) You're being selfish and cruel There's more but you already know
.the moment OP Nolan started being distant, i knew he was cheating, but when OP said people saw Zoe and Nolan together a few months after, yeah, those two started seeing each other long before the breakup.........also OP said it before the parents dont care about family loyalty or anything just how their own image
When people are raised with these ideas of family unity and putting on a good image they don't all absorb the lesson the same. Normal people know to never date your siblings ex-fiancee, but OPs sister (and the parents) decided it really meant you have to forgive and put on a brave face no matter how much you are stepped on. Otherwise why would any of them think this is somehow ok? Glad OP is not a doormat. It's for the best she moved.
I don't understand why her family wants her to stay. I mean, let her go live her life and be happy elsewhere. Leave her alone. I just think OPS sister an ex needed her at tge wedding fo shush the nasty gossip about their cheating. Op should go full on NC.
I am SO sick of these family members who weigh in on situations that don't concern them. How dare you minimize someone's hurt and grief because YOU think they should compromise. Also the whole "family is everything" and "appearance above all" is so infuriating. Even if they are real, stories like this are rage bait.
As someone thats currently being pressured to reconcile with a toxic, abusive family member, the best thing you can do is leave and say whatever you can to either set the record straight or hurt the toxic person
"Nolan" and "Zoey" don't deserve the "good image" when most of the entire town knows the bulk of what really happened. The OP has every right to not go and pretend that everything was perfectly fine. "Family loyalty" doesn't excuse the betrayal on that level. "Zoey" had a lot of nerve, but the simple truth was she crossed a line that cannot be fixed that way. The parents and "Zoey" are delusional thinking that the OP showing up at the wedding would "reserve the family's reputation. I grew up in a town just like what the OP experienced, and that NEVER works. There are multiple instances where families in my home town tried doing what they thought would "show family loyalty/unity" and it *_absolutely failed_* and deserved to. There is an old axiom that always rings true: *_If it can be destroyed with the truth, let it be destroyed by the truth!_* The entire town knew most of it, and the OP had every right not to say anything, because she didn't need to. "Zoey and Nolan" always would be found out, and even if the OP had gone along it would have eventually gotten out. The OP hopefully is getting happier and healthier away from her family. The gossiping and the disaster of a wedding was still going to happen, and her absence just was a punctuation mark on the inevitable. Eventually, both "Zoey and Nolan" will be exposed. One drunken conversation will expose everything, and the parents have no one to blame but "Zoey and Nolan".
OP is so spineless. OP should go to the wedding and then make a speech. “Hi I’m OP; Zoe’s sister. I can’t believe today has finally came. Zoe and I have been talking and dreaming about our weddings since we were little. She would be my maid of honor and I would be hers. We dreamed about our future husbands and because we are close, our dream husbands would be similar. See we are so close that Zoe thought it was ok to sleep with my fiancé behind my back but don’t worry everyone she’s still a great sister. She’s so great that she convinced me to move in with her after Ex broke up with me for her so she could comfort me through my time of need. She’s so great that she and my family bullied me into coming to this wedding because HER feelings mean way more than mine. She and my family think I’m so selfish because I didn’t want to watch my sister and the man I was supposed to marry get marry. So please let me know if I’m looking happy enough for them because they don’t care that I’m dying inside right now. Was my speech good enough for your precious daughter mom and dad?” I think that speech would of been a nice touch but be spineless and run away
The speech was good, but for her own mental health sake, she chose to not be there. We don't know if she was close to a nervous breakdown, harming herself, or sister & ex. For her own mental health, she chose what was best for her, and with the family more concerned about appearances, her absence (living in a small town where everyone probably already knew about the affair way before her) , her absence from the wedding speaks volumes.
Family loyalty and Zoe and OP’s promise meant nothing to her parents and Zoe respectively the moment they sided with Zoe marrying OP’s ex. They have absolutely no right to bring up that card anymore with OP.
I always get so confused by these stories cause I'm pretty sure the whole town would've known who ops man was... So why wouldn't they freak out if said man is now marrying her sister????
The parents discovered what happens when you try too hard to control everyuthing about your entire family - sometimes, someone breaks away and says "Bye! See ya; wouldn't want to be ya!"
Your sister knew that she was with your ex fiancée you. Then she started to date him while comforting you knowing she was sleeping with your sister man. Now that is low. The parents are in the wrong for not supporting the daughter with the broken heart. Instead support the daughter who stole the other daughter man. I will care about my sister or my family. I would drop them like bad habit. You deserve better.
Why your sister wants your left over and who wants someone else mess. And slept with your ex just nasty period. Leave for your mental health sake and find happiness.
Where was the family unity when Zoe was cheating with her sister's boyfriend? And ONCE AGAIN....thinking that someone who hates you would make a great wedding guest is stupid at best. Especially if op can't hold her liquor all it takes is one drink for her to jump on the mic and air EVERYTHING out (as great as it would be) this is a dumb decision ...also stories like this are why people think small town people are inbred the way they pass around each other everyone has to be related at least distant by now.
Started dating a sophomore year so let's say 16. Together for 5 years, engage for 6 months, and it's been 2 years. Set me that makes her about 24 years old. So how is her younger sister 29?
Is the bf a good catch in your small town? Is it possible that your parents encouraged your sister to date your ex because they would benefit from the match as well? Good you got away from your controlling parents. Your sister is possibly both like your parents and controlled by them. Everybody finds a way to survive in their environment. Your sister may be surviving by pleasing your parents. But that is kind of pitiable too. You are never going to be acceptable to that toxic family and distance is your friend.
Congratulate Zoe and Nolan send them a nice wedding gift if you wish I let them know you wish them every happiness in the world but as far as attending their wedding or wishing to be in their presence anytime soon that's out don't sound Petty don't let your parents gaslight you into thinking family is everything because it's not but you had broken up with Nolan before he started with your sister or maybe that's why he broke up with you you didn't explain that part whichever it is go on and live your best life and let your parents know you don't want to have this conversation until you're ready you forgive her because she's not important as to take up space in your head and to ruin your life this is a heartbeat you'll get over it but you don't want to be in their company and you will not attend their wedding!!
the only person making sense in the comments. It was ok for OP to feel betrayed or emotional. However, it was not cheating that her sis and ex did(her ex did but not sis as far as we know). So she didn't have to keep the grudge in her heart. She had all the right to distance herself and not attend the wedding but keeping the grudge in her heart hurt herself and I am sad nobody in reddit guided her through her emotions.
How tf do you know he broke up with her before moving on to her sister? He started showing signs of cheating 6 months before he broke up with her. OP doesn't owe a gift or well wishes to people that hurt her, y'all are just doormats that need to find a spine before someone takes advantage of that naivety
You have NOTHING to regret. They SCREWED YOU OVER..period. Who cares what other people think. You have to protect yourself especially mentally. The best thing to do is cut ties, move away and start fresh. They didn't care what they did to you, why should you care?
![[Full Story] My Golden Child Sister Got Engaged Right After Me & My Parents Forced Me To Share My...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/oHNkxG8tR3M/mqdefault.jpg)
![[Full Story] My Golden Child Sister Got Engaged Right After Me & My Parents Forced Me To Share My...](/img/tr.png)
![[Full Story] I Declined Being A Groomsman At My Ex's Wedding. The Groom Reached Out To Me In...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6AH6OYdcQlM/mqdefault.jpg)
![[Full Story] My Sister Didn't Invite Me To Her Engagement Party & Accused Me Of Having An Affair...](/img/n.gif)
Nolan: " let the past go."
OP: "yep, that's why I'm moving far away from the past."
Dawg I’ve never seen my name used in these stories and ofc the one time it’s used the guy is a scumbag 😭
Zoe tore the family apart the moment she thought of Nolan as more than her sister's bf
I don understand why you have ANY contact with any of your family.
First thing out of my face!! 😅
Oop is a doormat a glouton for punishment apparently.
I learnt the hard way that it takes a lot to step away from the people you've been conditioned to love "unconditionally" and be around. It's peaceful the moment you do but the moment you do... bliss
Perhaps OOP will tell about that in another story
It's always interesting how only some people are required to be loyal when it comes to to family loyalty.
Yes! That theme runs through these stories. I always wish the OPs would point out the other side of that coin!
And in 10 years, Nolan will reach out and say he made a mistake by picking the sister
Zoe: you’re being selfish
OP: look who’s talking
The family only cared about image and OP should've told Zoe that she no longer her sister anymore and that being reminded of a childhood promise to be each other's maid of honor was thrown out the window the moment she and Nolan got together. This is one of the worst thing that a sibling can do to another sibling.
I would tell them to consider me dead from this day on. That kind of betrayal I don’t think I could ever get over.
Your sister and your cheating boyfriend were seeing each other a lot longer than you think...
Thank you!!!
Follow your gut/instincts/intuition!!!
Runnnn...They are ALL mentally abusive!!!
When Nolan started acting weird and distant, THAT’S when their affair started.
I've been looking for this comment........the moment OP Nolan started being distant, i knew he was cheating but when OP said people saw Zoe and Nolan together a few months after yeah those two started seeing each other long before the breakup
"Every Jack has his Jill". OOP needs to find her own Shrek
When Zoe apologized? "Your apology doesn't mean shit."
Where was "family loyalty" when she decided to date her sister's ex?
Zoey doesn't care about family so way should OP?
Why do people always screech about family but never hold themselfs to that standard
Why does no one tell the person who made the betrayal that family is the most important thing.
The OP is within her right to be upset and betrayed at what both her sister and ex fiance did and no one should ever tell to put family first because they won't be so willing to do the same thing in the long run for sure, so the OP should do what is right for her and be done with it down the line period.
Things you should never tell those who've been wronged:
1) But fAmiLY
2) Just be the bigger person to keep the peace (I hate this one the most)
3) It's no big deal
4) You're being selfish and cruel
There's more but you already know
.the moment OP Nolan started being distant, i knew he was cheating, but when OP said people saw Zoe and Nolan together a few months after, yeah, those two started seeing each other long before the breakup.........also OP said it before the parents dont care about family loyalty or anything just how their own image
Save, save, save, get fit, if necessary up your qualifications then LEAVE. New town, new job, go no contact with family and ex-fiance!
When people are raised with these ideas of family unity and putting on a good image they don't all absorb the lesson the same. Normal people know to never date your siblings ex-fiancee, but OPs sister (and the parents) decided it really meant you have to forgive and put on a brave face no matter how much you are stepped on. Otherwise why would any of them think this is somehow ok? Glad OP is not a doormat. It's for the best she moved.
I don't understand why her family wants her to stay. I mean, let her go live her life and be happy elsewhere. Leave her alone. I just think OPS sister an ex needed her at tge wedding fo shush the nasty gossip about their cheating. Op should go full on NC.
I am SO sick of these family members who weigh in on situations that don't concern them. How dare you minimize someone's hurt and grief because YOU think they should compromise. Also the whole "family is everything" and "appearance above all" is so infuriating. Even if they are real, stories like this are rage bait.
As someone thats currently being pressured to reconcile with a toxic, abusive family member, the best thing you can do is leave and say whatever you can to either set the record straight or hurt the toxic person
"Nolan" and "Zoey" don't deserve the "good image" when most of the entire town knows the bulk of what really happened. The OP has every right to not go and pretend that everything was perfectly fine. "Family loyalty" doesn't excuse the betrayal on that level. "Zoey" had a lot of nerve, but the simple truth was she crossed a line that cannot be fixed that way. The parents and "Zoey" are delusional thinking that the OP showing up at the wedding would "reserve the family's reputation. I grew up in a town just like what the OP experienced, and that NEVER works. There are multiple instances where families in my home town tried doing what they thought would "show family loyalty/unity" and it *_absolutely failed_* and deserved to. There is an old axiom that always rings true: *_If it can be destroyed with the truth, let it be destroyed by the truth!_* The entire town knew most of it, and the OP had every right not to say anything, because she didn't need to. "Zoey and Nolan" always would be found out, and even if the OP had gone along it would have eventually gotten out.
The OP hopefully is getting happier and healthier away from her family. The gossiping and the disaster of a wedding was still going to happen, and her absence just was a punctuation mark on the inevitable. Eventually, both "Zoey and Nolan" will be exposed. One drunken conversation will expose everything, and the parents have no one to blame but "Zoey and Nolan".
OP is so spineless. OP should go to the wedding and then make a speech.
“Hi I’m OP; Zoe’s sister. I can’t believe today has finally came. Zoe and I have been talking and dreaming about our weddings since we were little. She would be my maid of honor and I would be hers. We dreamed about our future husbands and because we are close, our dream husbands would be similar. See we are so close that Zoe thought it was ok to sleep with my fiancé behind my back but don’t worry everyone she’s still a great sister. She’s so great that she convinced me to move in with her after Ex broke up with me for her so she could comfort me through my time of need. She’s so great that she and my family bullied me into coming to this wedding because HER feelings mean way more than mine. She and my family think I’m so selfish because I didn’t want to watch my sister and the man I was supposed to marry get marry. So please let me know if I’m looking happy enough for them because they don’t care that I’m dying inside right now. Was my speech good enough for your precious daughter mom and dad?”
I think that speech would of been a nice touch but be spineless and run away
The speech was good, but for her own mental health sake, she chose to not be there. We don't know if she was close to a nervous breakdown, harming herself, or sister & ex.
For her own mental health, she chose what was best for her, and with the family more concerned about appearances, her absence (living in a small town where everyone probably already knew about the affair way before her) , her absence from the wedding speaks volumes.
Family loyalty and Zoe and OP’s promise meant nothing to her parents and Zoe respectively the moment they sided with Zoe marrying OP’s ex. They have absolutely no right to bring up that card anymore with OP.
I'd be dropping hints that they were screwing around while you were still together. See how that affects their reputation.
no one wants to go to their ex wedding escpecialy theirsister with the ex unless your married before them have better life
"famliy comes frist" WHERE WERE THEY WHEN SHE HOOKED UP WITH UR EX
I would have gone to the wedding and unleashed hell on earth. I would have given the whole town something to gossip about for years.
I always get so confused by these stories cause I'm pretty sure the whole town would've known who ops man was... So why wouldn't they freak out if said man is now marrying her sister????
The parents discovered what happens when you try too hard to control everyuthing about your entire family - sometimes, someone breaks away and says "Bye! See ya; wouldn't want to be ya!"
Not attending the wedding doesn't mean you are being petty, it just means you have more self respect.
The parents are toxic.
It sounds like the ex was cheating on op with her sister. That's disgusting!
OP should just say she'll be there on the day, but will not.
Not only did your sister betray you but your parents did as well.
Why does family always says family first .i say no not when fly treats u like crap
Why didn’t they say family first when Zoe stole your fiancé and made her break up with him?
Your sister knew that she was with your ex fiancée you. Then she started to date him while comforting you knowing she was sleeping with your sister man. Now that is low. The parents are in the wrong for not supporting the daughter with the broken heart. Instead support the daughter who stole the other daughter man. I will care about my sister or my family. I would drop them like bad habit. You deserve better.
Why your sister wants your left over and who wants someone else mess. And slept with your ex just nasty period. Leave for your mental health sake and find happiness.
Where was the family unity when Zoe was cheating with her sister's boyfriend? And ONCE AGAIN....thinking that someone who hates you would make a great wedding guest is stupid at best. Especially if op can't hold her liquor all it takes is one drink for her to jump on the mic and air EVERYTHING out (as great as it would be) this is a dumb decision ...also stories like this are why people think small town people are inbred the way they pass around each other everyone has to be related at least distant by now.
A ship in its harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
Started dating a sophomore year so let's say 16.
Together for 5 years, engage for 6 months, and it's been 2 years.
Set me that makes her about 24 years old. So how is her younger sister 29?
I hate most of these videos so much bc people keep saying 'Family is important' 'Family that' 'Family this' 'Family family family'
Is the bf a good catch in your small town? Is it possible that your parents encouraged your sister to date your ex because they would benefit from the match as well?
Good you got away from your controlling parents. Your sister is possibly both like your parents and controlled by them. Everybody finds a way to survive in their environment. Your sister may be surviving by pleasing your parents. But that is kind of pitiable too.
You are never going to be acceptable to that toxic family and distance is your friend.
Op why didn't u lie and say my company is making me move and I don't have a say so I have to move and block everyone when they won't shut up
She worked at the family's store.
Congratulate Zoe and Nolan send them a nice wedding gift if you wish I let them know you wish them every happiness in the world but as far as attending their wedding or wishing to be in their presence anytime soon that's out don't sound Petty don't let your parents gaslight you into thinking family is everything because it's not but you had broken up with Nolan before he started with your sister or maybe that's why he broke up with you you didn't explain that part whichever it is go on and live your best life and let your parents know you don't want to have this conversation until you're ready you forgive her because she's not important as to take up space in your head and to ruin your life this is a heartbeat you'll get over it but you don't want to be in their company and you will not attend their wedding!!
the only person making sense in the comments. It was ok for OP to feel betrayed or emotional. However, it was not cheating that her sis and ex did(her ex did but not sis as far as we know). So she didn't have to keep the grudge in her heart. She had all the right to distance herself and not attend the wedding but keeping the grudge in her heart hurt herself and I am sad nobody in reddit guided her through her emotions.
How tf do you know he broke up with her before moving on to her sister? He started showing signs of cheating 6 months before he broke up with her. OP doesn't owe a gift or well wishes to people that hurt her, y'all are just doormats that need to find a spine before someone takes advantage of that naivety
@@Samconery moving away from toxic people isn't keeping a grudge, it's preventing further instances of hurt. Duh.
@@jayking2228 read what i wrote in the comment. I literally said moving away and keeping a distance was her right. Bruh
AI and animal shelters again
Op might as well b a Graphic Designer named Lily.
@@bofostudiofr😂
first
You have NOTHING to regret. They SCREWED YOU OVER..period. Who cares what other people think. You have to protect yourself especially mentally. The best thing to do is cut ties, move away and start fresh. They didn't care what they did to you, why should you care?