Tim Minchin "One day you'll be as good as Elton John" | Universal Comedy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 เม.ย. 2020
- To help you through your self-isolation or quarantined state, here's an anthem from the genius songwriter and star of Jesus Christ Superstar, Tim Minchin.
OH AND REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR HANDS
Taken from his 2008 special So F*cking Rock.
LYRICS
He looks at me intensely
Contact lens green with artifical envy
C*cks his head and fixes me with a condescending stare
Flicks his bleached, blond tipped hair
And theorises thus
You know what I reckon?
Pause for effect
Adjusts his tackle as if it’s semi-er*ct
I feel I’d better give him what I know he expects
What do you reckon?
A hand on the shoulder
An avuncular wink
Sips his lemon drink
Spits out the pips
Hands on hips
Licks his lips
Like a wolf near a flock
Yet again adjusting his fantasy c*ck
He delivers his philosophy
I reckon it don’t matter
It don’t mean squat
What you earn or what you got
Or the style of your hair
Or what you wear
It matters not
Like what do you care
That I live on a hill with views of the beach
That my chick and my dogs have an en-suite bathroom each
That I’ve already reached my first million and I’m only 26
You’re as thick as two bricks
If you think you can fix
What is broke in your life with money
And the funny thing is
And I sh*t you not
That I’d give it all up like that
He leaves me to ponder his wisdom for a bit
And with a click of his fingers
Beckons the blondest, bimbo-est barmaid
And grinning ridiculously
Orders a G and T
And a beer, for me
And before I can escape
He’s back saying
Cos mate, the thing is
All of that crap
It’s all superficial
It’s all just a front
Anyone can be a rich c*nt
But the thing we all want
Can’t be bought with dosh
You know what I mean boss?
Cos you don’t give a toss
That when I want to get slim
I’ve got my own private gym
And a personal trainer called Danielle or Darlene
She’s got t*ts
Like those chicks
In Ralph magazine
And it’s not like you care
That I own the controlling share
Of an overseas company
That builds accounting software
It matters not one bit
I mean who gives a sh*t
That I earn six hundred grand
And drive a brand new land rover
You know I would hand it all over like that
He pauses for a beat
Long enough for me to retreat to a seat
And sit, elbow on the bar
And contemplate this guru
With his white teeth and big car
And ponder silently my belief
That genius comes in many a form
And that this postulating, peroxided p*rn-star prick ain’t one of them
My specultaion cut short
As he reforms
Like Terminator II
And before I have time to abort
He descends upon me and snorts
I guess what I’m trying to say
In my own little way
Is that I reckon that musos and artists and that
Well I reckon they’re great
I know some people reckon you guys just sit on your bums
And don’t get out of bed til the pizza man comes
And smoke cones
And take crack
And wack-off all day
But I don’t care what they say
And I don’t listen to people
Who say that all actors are gay
Not that I don’t think that’s OK
As far as I’m concerned
Although it’s not my bag
If you wanna be a fag
Be a fag y’know?
Who am I to say
Where you come
And where you go
In the privacy of your own homo
Ha ha
Homo
Ha ha
Homo
Ha ha
He’s shitting me now
And my eyes start to glaze
And through the haze of my anger
I notice his G and T is gone
And he’s starting to dribble
As he dribbles on and fucking on
But you musos are alright
I don’t know much about music
But I know what I like
And I reckon I’d throw it all in
To be like you Jim
I mean you might be poor in monetary terms
But what you earn spiritually
What makes you what you are
Just means so much more
Than what you earn from a really nice car
Or a tennis court
Or holidays in Greece
Or a house on the beach
Or stock market shares
Or twenty-one pairs
Of Calvin Klein underwear
Do you understand you are a wealthy, wealthy man
I mean I don’t want to piss in your pocket
But i’ve gotta say
Before I get on my way
That honestly, and I’m not having you on
I reckon on day you could play the piano as good as Elton John
The cops are still mingling
Though the crowd’s shuffled out
I’ve got ice on my hand
Where my fist met his mouth
And although I explained
That it wasn’t my fault
I’ve a five hundred buck fine
For aggravated assault
So before it gets worse
I reckon I’ll bolt
A wealthy, wealthy man
In a 1981 Mitsubishi Colt
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#StandUp #Comedy #TimMinchin #SelfIsolation #Musicals #AndrewLloydWebber - ตลก
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People don't understand how difficult it is to recite all that without following a repetitive rythm while managing to play every piano note in its right place. Tim may be a comedian, but he's a bloody great musician.
4st 7lb hay, do you happen to know what type of piano he is doing, I have no idea what it’s called
The thing that always baffles me is that he can’t read sheet music
If anybody ever needs convincing, show them F Sharp. It's nearly impossible to stay in tune... Out of tune.
He's a musician first, comedian second. Which is honestly mind boggling given how funny he is
@@PhoenixsNetwork Mark Nopfler from Dire Straits taught himself guitar and didn't learn sheet music. Well that's what was said at the height of his fame anyway.
Genius comes in many forms. Tim just happens to be one of those forms.
He rants. I saw him on TV on quiz shows and thought he might be funny then saw his act and well without being Tim and ranting he gets a bee in his bonet and just rants and it's not funny
@@stevenhardwick9922 Ironic post....
Inb4 2cock2block comes and flings the bible at you
@@benderong4478 who?
He's the only person in the history of the world that makes beat poetry anything but an abortion of art.
Tim being able to deliver a contextually appropriate slur is a testament to his finesse and skill.
It is unbelievable what he is doing with the piano... the tones match the discourse almost perfectly
What has to be tracked here to do this rhythmically, I can't make sense of a human that can do this but there he is.
Breathing/lyric expression is what I would follow to attempt this sort of thing.
im keen to know where it didnt quite hit the mark...cos you said it was 'almost' perfect...time stamp perhaps?
Yea didn't they make a computer piano that imitated voice sounds?
yes !! if he keeps practising maybe one day he'll be as good as....
That gynaecologist one is the best joke i’ve ever heard
@@Thomas-nc9fz it is like anime, sometimes there is a joke that cant be translated, and instead is replaced, but with unnoficial subs they leave the joke and add a text on top, or sometimes at the beggining of the episode explaining the joke, and when you see a similar joke later you laugh because you now have the context required, they also do that in between manga panels, one piece would be less funny without people explaining the puns that Oda uses
Elton John isn't an exceptionality good piano player, every person who's had piano lessons for some time can play his songs. He is a great songwriter and performer, though.
Sorry, guys.
Legend says that the camera man insisted on zooming further and further into Tim's face 'till the point where nothing else mattered.
entranced by his eyes, as we all are sometimes.
a little eyeliner goes a long way, don't matter if you are a man.
Tim is a genre all to himself. We're lucky that he also happens to be very good at it.
See also: Tom Lehrer
@@patheddles4004 I'll second that.
6:26 That "Tim" reverberated within my soul
It's not just the comedy, nor the musicianship, nor the look, it's the whole package of brilliance, that's genius. Seeing him live is on my bucket list, right after survival.
I recommend it.
Agreed. Got a ticket to his show on Feb 3, 2021 since his 2020 tour was postponed. So excited!
I saw him in Perth last year it was amazing
Yeah when I first watched Tim Minchin the first thing that hit me was the intelligence of his comedy and the next thing to hit me was his brilliance of musicianship and technique.
Ha ha. Let me know when you are able to check that survival item off the list
Everyone has a genius; finding it is rare. Having a genius that is marketable; finding that is rarer.
Some people can play piano
Some people can write poetry
Some people can perform comedy
How the HELL does he do all three at the SAME TIME?
Some people can play guitar
Some people can write songs
Some people can Act
Some people can Direct
He doesn't play piano and write at the same time tho does'e?
@@jakobvanklinken Yeah...
@@jakobvanklinken I wouldn't be surprised if he could!
Bo?
Tim's hair is my spirit animal.
It really is an animal
It's a perm! Well, reverse perm, he's got really curly hair!
I struggle to even say a single word to someone when I'm playing the piano so seeing Tim be able to do this is very humbling 😂
The moment he paused after saying Elton John I got an ad... the Snickers ad with Elton John in it. I'm shocked.
He has such a light behind his eyes, he looks young, but he’s in his forties. And on top of all that he’s charming, an amazing musician, and a bashful genius in many respects. I love him
47 yup
Well to be fair - this clip is from 2008. And he is still amazing... at any age!
Me too. Lol
Tim: I dont call myself a sanger ...
Everyone not from Australia: Yes you do!
Broker www.etymonline.com/word/broker mid-14c. (mid-13c. in surnames), "commercial agent, factor," also "an agent in sordid business," from Anglo-French brocour "small trader," from abrokur "retailer of wine, tapster;" perhaps from Portuguese alborcar "barter," but more likely from Old French brocheor, from brochier "to broach, tap, pierce (a keg)," from broche (Old North French broke, broque) "pointed tool" (see broach (n.)), with an original sense of "wine dealer," hence "retailer, middleman, agent." In Middle English, used contemptuously of peddlers and pimps, "one who buys and sells public office" (late 14c. in Anglo-French), "intermediary in love or marriage" (late 14c.).
@Joshua B I realize he is a comedian. However, I have always wondered about the etymology of the word "broker" and never before bothered to look it up.
Now I have. Enjoy.
@@pirbird14 Nothing quite like seeking advice from a brokerage trying to sell you the latest product sold by the banks.
@Joshua B I'm also sure he does know, but somehow I think he's missed that for pedantry to be funny, it either has to be valid argument or so ridiculous an argument that it slaps you with parody. But this is a great example of where making fun of pedantry just sounds like actual pedantry (based on a misunderstanding of how etymology works).
Much like every person who makes a joke or bit out of people using the word irony/ironic wrong, to the point where they're literally ignoring that there are about half a dozen different types of irony, and so they dismiss one or two valid examples and just end up look like a tit. :)
Though I will say, if there's someone who rarely makes this particular mistake, it's certainly Tim Minchin. The dude rival's even Carlin in his linguistic prowess - and I consider myself raised in the Carlin School of Language, so that's not a compliment I would ever give lightly.
So, he’s a a small protected structure used for observing or firing from?
His eyes color is beautiful!
I drown in his eyes!
A legend, always has been, always will be, we love you Jim…er…Tim.
this is Tim at his best, I love everything he's done but this is a masterpiece
surprising choice, I am glad he has gone to music though, comedy and music are a wonderful but explosive and unstable combination
This guy is different. Funny and musical. Best of all, he's got the smokey eye down pat! What a package!
Yea Tim is great! But he's athiest, so naive/ignorant people think he's evil.
@@Jett-King ironic really isn't it?
@@w8m4n yea people don't understand the definition of athiesm. Normally athiests are the best people of all.
@@Jett-King yeah as there is never normally an agenda with atheists.
@@w8m4n what do you mean by "agenda" ? Do you even know?
You mean they have a plan? Everyone on Earth has an "agenda". What a stupid word to get upset about.
"Oh no, someone has an 'agenda' that differs from mine!"
I am tempted to say that he's incredibly talented, but this would not be fair towards the countless hours he must have spent singing and playing and reading.
Nothing ever compares to the first time you listen to one of Tim's songs.
Blimey! That is beyond genius!!! He can recite all that AND play the piano at the same time (musician thing). Awesome lines, too... 😲
Every word that the broker say, Tim gives it a high note accent.. Amazing
Davor Bertovic that’s also characteristic of an Australian accent which is part of it
His brain never tired working all things simultaneously ... The Amazing Tim Minchin!!
I play piano and trombone. The two most phallic sounding instruments of all.
This is comic genius! So cutting and musically brilliant.
Not too often, someone get's through to me with something I can listen to again and again. Or rather, I have to, because so much is going on!
Tim Minchin is worth a mention, as they say in New Zealand. This man is quite something else! I did not know this was possible! He plays jazz piano, including solos, while reciting a poem in pure actor style. I would have to be three people to do that: A bass player, a pianist, and myself. And perhaps a fourth person to write this amazing 'round of information'...
He is actually Australian, but close
Tim Minchin, the king of musical comedy. Love his stuff always and forever.
I recently had to read the first third of this poem (I somehow sight read it) for an audition for a university play (the style of both play and song were similar), and my god, this hooked me onto Tim Minchin for life. Odd audition, wonderful man.
the piano playing kind of reminds me of those "hearing lyrics where there are none" midi tracks
I need to this in Dr Seuss format. All Tim’s work should be released as Dr Seuss books.
if you haven't already, you should check out another one of his pieces like this, called "Storm" which is also very Seuss-esq
Storm can be purchased in dr. seuss-esque book form.
no, he would just be another cancled seuss book then... thank god tim is still alive to fight that nonsence
@@mdh6977 Which of the books that the Seuss publishers decided to remove was your favorite?
@@bonniea8189 its been almost 20 yrs since i read them to the kids and twice as long since i had them read to me, but i remember green eggs and the lorax the most
I absolutely do not regret giving up the piano. I'm glad Tim didn't, though!
I do personally, not because I would love to have a job as a pianist but because I love the instrument and playing music seems like it could have been a fun hobby.
@@OnlyRusseLLHD It still can be. What's stopping you from picking it back up again other than your attitude?
@@Gatchi Other than not being a good solo learner nothing really, I would get a tutor if I wasn't completely panic attack ridden when meeting new people or out in public.
@@OnlyRusseLLHD I'm sorry to hear that. I encourage you to try your best though, you got this!
If I remember correctly, there's a video of Tim saying he gave up learning the piano at a music school, but just before he left his teacher showed him a cool trick that helped Tim a lot after, as he's not a fan of reading sheet music.
This guy is pure genius.
Love love love Tim Minchin.
Now I see why this guy is so popular... Hadn't seen anyhting extended or musical from him but, talent and creativity he has without doubt.
Honestly….if you really stop and think…..that was borderline genius
Genius comes in many forms. And not only Tim but the guy behind the Cameras it's one of them
You have no idea how difficult this must have been. It makes Yo Yo Ma look like just a Yo-Yo. The pure talent to perform it is only second to writing it.
The man is a genius!
Hey how are you??
Just love this very talented man the world is the richer for having him.❤️❤️🎶🎶💯💯
there are so many wonderful things I could say about Tim Minchin but my brain is stuck repeating "A SHOEHORN?!"
The man is a genius...Really!
Wow.
First time I've seen something from Tim and straight away hooked.
What a legend!
Love this song every time I hear it..
Saw Tim live in Melbourne in 2009 (met and spoke to him after the show too) and again in 2010.. A marvelous entertainer, and truly gifted pianist.
I hope you're not a stock broker.
And what instrument did you have a bad breakup with?
@@andrewbloom7694 Bit late to the party Andrew..
@@genelomas332 2 years? Many videos have comment threads that last longer than that
I had never heard of Tim Minchin until he guest starred in Californication season 6.
Mitsubishi Colt........ absolute genius!
This is the second or third video clip I have seen of him outside of Californication.
What a talent!
Same, he was great on Californication 😊
I had a 1991 Mitsubishi Colt, too! Maybe one day I will be as good as Tim Minchin.
Can I like it again? What a legend.
Such a clever wit and amazing musical talent…I would love to see him live!
Your hands appear to have a stream of consciousness of their own!
Hey how are you?
This one's called Mitsubishi Colt.
zerosonico Definitely one of my favourites of his.
Yeah, I don't like that the video title gave away the punchline.
I was gonna say
@@froggydoodle808 ...the...punch...line. I see what you did there. Shame. Shame. *Dramatic fingerpoint* SHAAAAME!
Surname Minchin , first name Tim , no star shines as bright as him. 🌟 Amazing mate !!
Brilliant!!!!
something that i saw the other day that is very true -- money isnt the most important thing but it affects everything that is important
That was pure genius and virtuosity. What a machine.
Bloody genius !
totally amazing artist....never ceases to amaze me with his talent!! go Tim!
He is a musician, magician ✨⚡️✨
Just when I thought he couldn't get any better
One of the best I have ever seen. You know you're good, I hope those that should, see it. Cheers Tim.
love love him, I saw him first looking for Jesus Christ Super Star songs and found this guy.. had no idea of his other talents till now
An absolutely unique performance 👍🏼
Bravo!!! My first car was a Colt. My dad bought his Colt for only $3,000.00 and the salesman was fired the next day. His was a '75 Colt, mine was '72. It's been a running joke in my family since 1975, and now it's a beautifully funny song with a completely different background. Thanks Jim, I mean...Tim!
I am I love with your voice!
More men should wear eye makeup, Tim looks beautiful
Agree it really suits him.
doesn't work for everyone thats for sure haha
Only on stage though, otherwise it's a bit WoolyWoofter. Theatrical's fine.
He looks like a chick who doesnt know how to dress butch.
@@kristinburton4953 Why only onstage, though?
I nearly choked on the croissant I was eating in the first 2 minutes. Hahaha.
I've been a fan for year and it just hit me he has the bluest blue eyes I've ever seen also nice eye makeup
Hilarious and talented beyond measure. But I figure he's worth a couple 10's of millions himself. ;)
I feel your pain, Tim and I love that you perform with no shoes. Shoes : Never could stand them, myself. ☺
Hey how are you?
I love this so much. It goes from a rant about how money isn't everything and a snark comment...to Elton John's only song he ever wrote by himself which is just "Life isn't everything" over and over.
Love you Jim 😂. What a bloody legend and national treasure
*TIM*
I would absolutely love to see the sheet music for a lot of his songs, and this one is up on the top of my wish list.
Watching it for the second time now ... just as brilliant...
Genius! Love your work, Tim!
Wow oh wow what a spectacular performance. Love love love Tim Minchin
Just brilliant...........but I guess you know that Tim!!! Cheers 🥰😍💕
Love Tim Minchin. Saw him live at the Hay Festival many years ago.
This one moved me, truly.
what an incredibly talented chap
Freagin' brilliant, Tim!!!
Awesome playing and storytelling
Can we give a shout out to whoever directed the camera work here too? Like, doing the conversation at the start by cutting between two shots as if they were two people, or showing the fingers on the keys at just the right moments. The visuals match the energy of the performance.
Thank you Tim, that was fantastic.
Hilarious 😂 gifted genius. A rare talent. A pleasure to meet you.
he’s rapping with his mouth and his fingers at the same time
Love it Tim!
Where has this been all my life?!?
Hey how are you?
right?
Legendary..lyrically lingusitic genius!
Frickin brilliant!!
Those eyes...
This is gold!
He doesn't look like he's even concentrating on the piano part.
Brilliant as usual
The car maketh the man Jim - and you are The Man. Just beautiful and clever. ("Clothes maketh man")
There is a reason Tim titled this Mitsubishi Colt. You're kinda giving away the punchline in the title...
But it's not really much of a punchline. It's more of an amen
Elton John isn't the "punchline" that's just part of the set up. The actual punchline is the pause before Tim describes the rest of his evening.
Haha....punchline.....punny
@@richiejohnson thats the joke
Magical story telling
That was efing genius!
1. Absolute genius.
2. Wtf would TH-cam put adverts in the middle of a song?!
😂 unbelievable the stock broker 2:26 had me and then the whole roller-coaster came clicking thru.
Brilliant.
Brilliant