Sending Money to Africa is Not Helping | Why I Stopped Doing This! | African Diaspora
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ส.ค. 2024
- Sooo where do I even start? Sending Money back home to Africa is not always the best thing even though it's supposed to help. watch the entire video and let me know what you think.
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THERE is ALWAYS a situation back home that they absolutely NEED money.. always
They think u are a "human bank"
All too true. They even select expensive schools for their children then expect you to fund those choices. In fact the more you help, the more you must help an array of their projects. I have been there, done that!
True. They even add more children and name them after us for us to take care of them 🤦🏾♀️.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂those people are something else am planning a trip to africa am already feeling drained cause of expectations .
@@J1991-u6t Right on the mark Jackie; they have no shame, neither do they care. For them it's beg and shame! The list of demands is humongous- and they are shamelessly choosy.
There is a guy at work who has an occasional flutter on the bookies and the lottery. He’d said to me, if he’d won big, he won’t tell any family members. Otherwise, they’d come down to him like a ton of bricks!
Instead he’ll donate some to cancer, diabetes and autism research.
When people see that you are strong they dont care to check up on you
The reason is the lack of empathy and narcissism. They are obsessed about themselves. If they can`t even say thank you, but feel that they are entiteled to they`re money. Then it`s time to cut them off, they need to work themselves and take their own risks in life
People do to you what you allow them too… there is something called the block or delete button it happened to me I’m from the Caribbean living in the US.
Entitlement.
My relatives back home are very entitled and ungrateful
Africa needs structural development. Sending money back is like charity work. Africa needs roads, schools, energy, manufacturing, tech training, etc. A few hundred a month is good for the family but on a large scale we need to feel like going to Africa is a privilege not these other places. We’re working on making this a reality right now
True 👌🏾
Even if you open for them a business,they dont manage it.I have tried with all my family members .Now feed up completly and no more money or help.
as long as the effort is not coming from them. You will have to provide the capital and think for them every time.
Exactly
Glad you did a video on this topic. You are a kind lady. I have sibblings in India and non of them are working and they are past 50'years old. Im the youngest and moved out to Perth and got married. Im so thankful to my husband contributing and my salary together to help my sister every month so she could have her basic needs met. Most dont realise that cost of living in a western counties is lot higher and we work long hours and come home to clean and cook, since maids doesn't exist here. But extended family shouldn't take advantage of our kindness.. There's a time and season to helping others.
Thank you for sharing this as well. I have seen many people go into depression because of this and they live miserably while others back home just wait for their monthly allowance not caring what their relatives are going through abroad. I am glad i set boundaries for my own sake because it never ends.
Totally agree with you. The problem I find is that when you try to sponsor people or help them set up some kind of business for themselves to stop depending on you it never goes anywhere and any money you put in to help them start it just disappears and they conveniently continue to ask for money every time. You yourself are working hard to make ends meet and try to even have food and they want you to pay for their lifestyle. The money is small to them because they didn't work for it. Im not sure if its just ignorance, greed or entitlement.
💯% right…
Thank you for WAKING THIS UP!! Many of us across The West are missing our bills, our basic substance etc and getting bad credit cos of sending money back home. It’s a NOOO
Sending money to africans in Africa isn't helping them, they just become dependable on you.
Major Facts! When you don't send money, you are a horrible human being.
@@ladyshenna967 yep apparently I have no empathy yet if I send money to them I'm a empath idiots smh
That sounds like brainwashing!!!!!!
Agreed. Peace...
Pretending that you're citizens of other countries and turning your back on your own family in Africa doesn't make you a good person.You are only as far as where you come from..
You assume that family back at home cares to know how difficult it is here. They don’t! As long as they get the money they want and continue to, they don’t want to know how you sold your left Kidney to get it. And if you tell them, they will assume you are lying and respond with guilt and shame.
Showing gratitude goes a long way! Thanks for talking about this
That's it. Gratitude 👍🏾
Me going through this now in Tanzania... everyone got there hands out looking for money....i said enough!!!! Now no work no pay otherwise u gotta hussle for it..
Thank u afro boss lady. You hit the nail right on the head and speak our frustrations from us in the diaspora helping family n friends. The situation is just ridiculous. The most frustrating thing abt the people back home is that most of them do not even want to work. They just want to relax and have money to spend 😒
True. Unfortunately many don't want to work. Easy money is what they look for 🤦🏾♀️
This is so true. I asked myself that before. I addressed it with my family. I didnt care how they felt.
I had that 1 friend too and that 1 cousin too. When I told the friend things I was going thru she just hushed me and continued talking about her issues amd then the cousin one time called ans asked are your problems not over so u can help me? That did it
Same happened to me i dont bother telling them my problems
@@J1991-u6t sad
IT WAS A VERY HARD LESSON TO LEARN. SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU. I USED TO BE LIKE THIS TO OTHERS. UNGRATEFULNESS AND ENTITLEMENT CURED ME OF IT. BLESSINGS
🙏🏾❤️
It never stops lol.I gets annoying sending money 💰 constantly
This is very insightful, I was doing the same but now I have stopped.
I thought i was the only one going through this kind of behaviour with the relatives.
It’s not just you. Many are still going through it unfortunately
Even if people from abroad want to live the big life in cameroon they can is their money and they work for it. They are on vacation they deserve to enjoy too after having multiple jobs without having fun. The more you give they more they ask. I am getting to the border line too. Even if you help for their business they still call you the business has fallen and I need more $. Is really sad they don't ask what you do to get that money abroad means money.
True 👌🏾
You have a wise mother; bless her heart
its the same with other countries with people trying to help their families but alot of time they become parasites. I sa do not give to friends and relatives except immediate families. Then should also tell siblings you will give only this amount for them to start a business and that's all. If giving money to parents it should not be excessive but enough to make their life comfortable if you can.
Yes parents are special but setting boundaries too is important coz otherwise some of them will suck you dry 🤦🏾♀️
@@Jennyleoncethen what kind of family is that? Screw this
Hmmmm this issue has been a thorn in the flesh for me. I can relate to what you said and agree with you. I’m nodding as you talk about the ingratitude, the entitlement, the lack of concern for you,.....It’s still an area of struggle for me to find balance in giving. I’m trying to focus on investing in those who want to do something with their lives. But it’s still hard to ignore the hospitalized, the funerals, the many other issues that come up. God help us!
I know. We care so we want to help. But unfortunately, when you give once, they will always call you again. I still help those that I feel like helping and not those who are just looking at me as their bank accounts.
I SUBSCRIBED TO YOUR CHANNEL BECAUSE YOU ARE SAYING THE TRUTH FORM THE HEART, HOPE WE REALLY LEARN FROM WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. IF WE CONTINUE TO SEND WE NEED TO THINK HARD WHEN AND HOW TO HELP, WE NEED TO THINK OF US FIRST.
❤️❤️❤️ thank you
Be strong sister! You look like Ashanti by the way.
❤😂Ashanti
when you send money to your relatives in Africa, what tends to happen is that they squander the money and tell others to come and collect from you 🤣🤣🤣
When you send the money, you will have to call to ask wether they got the money. No acknowledgment whatsoever.
One has the nerve to tell me this morning that the money I sent her to start up business was not enough, that’s why the business didn’t succeed. This is the person that gave me the total estimate for the business before I sent her all the money.
Ungrateful people.
Wow. That’s bad. Very ungrateful 😤🤦🏾♀️
Africans residing in Africa will always complain. Regardless, of how much money one sends to them in Africa. They are NEVER satisfied. Simple as it is. Afterall, it is free money they are receiving from overseas. I get amazed on the recent World Bank report that Nigerians in Diaspora (overseas) each and every year sends an average of at least 20 Billion Dollars for the past eight years (168 Billion Dollars have been sent to Nigeria for the past eight years). One can even look it up online. Peace...
$168B 👀 dang!!!! That’s why they live their best lives with no plans of the future coz they know the diaspora will always send to help 🤦🏾♀️. That amount is shocking 🤦🏾♀️
@@Jennyleonce Agreed. Yes, it shocking indeed. Then you also have the recent concluded Africa Cup of Nations Tournament in Ivory Coast this past Sunday. Ivory Coast spent 1 Billion Dollars hosting the football event that just concluded in their country. Not to talk of the profits and revenues made by Ivory Coast hosting the event. So much good money out there in Africa. Peace...
Yes, it's even more than the country's annual gdp. That's how much sent home to help our families, and they are still entitled, ungrateful, talk badly about the person, and will even say, what have you done for me? No matter how much you give them, it's never enough in their eyes, even though it's your hard-earned money, and they won't even dare give you such or anything. They really don't care what you go through to meet your own finances while still sending money and gifts to them. In diaspora, nobody is there to give you free money like the way you give them free money. And God forbid, if something happens to you in the diaspora, they will still pretend and be talking bad about you. They play you.
My money is damn for myself and my kids
Aouch!!! I hope those back home will watch this video. When you hear those who “ expect “ a MOMO ( as they call it ), it is jaw dropping …Thank you again ABL for this reality check …
Tell me about it. They even ask for Iphone 13 🙄🙄🙄🙄
@@Jennyleonce
🤣🤣🤣
@@Jennyleoncerecently sent my brother an iPhone 12 and he now using it to send me abusive messages God is watching
The problem is people in Africa are delusional overall about how people live in the United States, and developed countries.
They compare the currency, as "living better," when in reality, the cost of living is far higher, with many barely getting by. Many times they have to use credit or postpone paying bills.
I'm living proof. You speaking facts!!!
Good for you enough is enough.
Charity is one of the major reasons why Africa hasn't developed. There's too much codependency upon other countries which remove the incentives to develop within. It also creates a victim complex along with idolizing foreigners.
One of the best things for Africa, will be foreigners stop giving them money, excluding family members.
It may sound harsh but until Africans start to build the necessary foundation, giving money, regardless of the amount, won't fix it.
At best do business in Africa with a reliable source, which is far better than charity.
A lot of people want an easy way out, and begging foreigners for money in Africa, is actually one of the best ways to earn an income, especially if it's your family.
The major (and close to only) reason that Africa hasn't developed is theft of resources by the "West" (aka "whites"). Next brainwashing (religion, materialism, etc).
I have experienced everything you said...I am laughing at myself now
😂😂😂 let’s laugh together then. Thanks for watching 🥰🙏🏾
The families back home are so demanding and make yu feel guilty Don’t fall for that in America 🇺🇸 or UK it’s so expensive and it’s so hard life that they never understand yuor situation here
Your beautiful the beautiful face brought me here,now that i have seen i can go.
I feel you girl!
😊👌🏾
In africa am going for holiday to have fun and they take it wrong thinking we have money
Exactly…
Right
Exactly girl !!!!!
What is wrong with África? I am tired sending money to África.
Yes indeed 🎉
That's Jamaicans behaviour, giving them money is setting them up for failure see what it is to make money as an adult
and take care of themselves
and proud of them selves
And not useless.
It’s the same in the Philippines. One guy decided to return after slogging and slaving for several years. He wanted to surprise everyone. When he’d arrived home, he was so shocked to see family members spending his hard earned cash on “unless junk.” He was even more shocked when he’d heard no one was working. They simply treated him like an ATM.
Wow 😮. This is really sad 😞 I hope he is making better decisions now and was able to set boundaries
Great video ❤
I'm married to an African woman who has been brought up in the UK - everyone and there mama has been asking me for money
That's unfortunately the reality of our extended families back home. You can only do your best. Don't feel pressure to help even though they say unpleasant things
@@Jennyleonceyes, I see that my in-laws in Africa always ask my mother-in-law, my wife and me for money. The greediest uncle is even someone who has got six houses and has got a well-paying job with the UN 🇺🇳
@@Jennyleonceif someone would say nasty things to me just because I have right to refuse to support them financially, they wouldn’t hear from me anymore unless they would apologise. We are not working donkeys or slaves to. Anybody
I can relate. Thanks for the video. Just curious though, what excuse did you give to those who asked for money after you decided to stop sending money home?
I just told them I have my own problems & since no one is helping out, I have to help myself. And I also made sure to empathize with them & tell them sorry for what's happening to them & they should be strong. 😉 Many were disappointed but overtime, they stopped asking.
African Americans are not lazy to start with. So that will not be wise to say that.
@@Jennyleonce Thank you
"Give a man fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he will eat for life."
I just felt drained today and started looking for solutions. I work in tech and have been sending $1000/month for school fees but i was shocked to hear that none of them is attending. I sent to build a house they eat it, I purchased multiple properties they eat the money. I work 9-5,drive uber, study for my Bachelor's. I'm constantly stressed out and I'm afraid that i will dies soon. My fiancee left me because she couldn't handle it anymore i was stressed out, always working,no quality time. Nobody nobody ask me how I'm doing . I felt lonely, I've went to therapy and therapist told me to ghost everyone but it make me feel guilt for doing that. As we're speaking I'm facing eviction zero in my bank account,no food in my fridge all the bills are due and i feel so freaking stupid and used.thanks for the video ain't no ody getting a dollar out of me no more
I am so sorry to hear that 😞. Where do you live?
@@Jennyleonce I live in CA
Please send me an email at info@yjlconsultingco.com
I send money to my ageing mum, I don't regret it because she needs the money to live. Why not now than a big funeral when she has gone.
A caribbean mentality as well. Mm mother is demanding $300 canadian dollars every month and when she cant get it she does all these things to my body and even humilate my daughter as well in worst way anyone can ever imagine.
Sorry to hear this. That's so sad💔
Nice loving mother
"we pray for you"
Oh wow some people ☹️
Ingratitude is the worst!
Wow. Thought it was just me..lol-
It's all about brainwashed and you guys believe everything they tell you. And you guys just send them your money and they just laughed at you, wow! That would never hapoen to me, no mean no. And when I feel like it I will send it stress free
Common sense
P.S. Your opinion matters ABL, coz you’ve been there, done it and got the t-shirt … 😉😉😉
It is very interesting even for europeans who married a cameroonian that sends money back home and the european grandparents help them so that the husband is able to send money to Africa.
That's really interesting. Hopefully the Cameroonian husband will soon find a solution 🤷🏾♀️
Why brought about this mentality? Where was it adopted from?
No idea 🤷🏾♀️
This mentality comes from our culture. We are as African in a cultural background that makes us to be community minded and not self minded. As generation evolves. We also transcend it in our life. Forgetting time has changed.
can ou sewn me please
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤too much chatter chatter, video could be 8 minutes, focus on conciseness please. Too much talking
Africa has 54 countries. Just be specific
All I talked about was Cameroon (a country in Africa👀). Don’t know how else u want me to be specific 😂
This issue isn’t just Cameroon though. If you read the comments, it’s happening in other countries too 😉. If you can’t relate, you’re lucky👌🏾
All countries,others even worse.Just want money for partying.
Not everyone is cold hearted like u.We all have our reasons so me i can`t stop sending money to my relatives.
😂😅😂
able bodied young adults/adult relatives back home should go and find a job!
So if someone doesn't like my 🎥their considered 🥶 hearted but if they don't their not smh what an idiot. Maybe they don't like my 🎥because their lame just because she doesn't send money doesn't make her 🥶hearted makes her. Self sufficient independent like me people like us are good people it's just that we. Have to take care of ourselves before we take care of other's
Especially if you don't know them I'm not even from Africa yet they ask me for [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] as if I owe them something did that with my family. Constantly giving them money the moment I couldn't take care of myself taking care of them . They just left so yeah it's narcissistic on their part not mine's SMH
Good luck
😊I didn't send them 💩
don't send anything....