Had a date last night. Chemistry was NOT off the charts but I was so relaxed and unattached. Such a success for me. Thank You Coach !! This is such a game changer
If you think relationships are built on power you're a simp. No its about giving to the other person to make their life easier. Doesn't mean you don't need to be in the relationship if it's not reciprocated to your liking. This power look is what builds a toxic relationship dynamic.
@@ElMuroBlues that's fine but then if you have that attitude what makes you think your partner is going to give you the same treatment? Therefore a crappy relationship you shouldn't even be in
The great thing about the comments on these videos is that we've all made similar mistakes, otherwise we likely wouldn't even know that Corey's work exists.
Thank you so much for uploading these. I’ve been following your work for 3 years now since my nasty divorce and you’ve helped me get my life back together, get back on my purpose, work on my issues and wait to find someone on the same wavelength, not just someone I’m physically attracted to. I can’t thank you enough for the guidance from your books and videos. My life is so much better than 3 years ago and it’s only getting better.
My last ex girlfriend was exactly like that. I invited her into my world with incredible patience, life didn't treated her well and her relationships were a mess. At the time, we were both going to school, I was working and spending all my free time with her, but I had the feeling that she didn't reciprocate me as I felt I deserved or I should say, as I "needed", it was the hardest thing because I wasn't centered. In the end, she kicked me out of her world because of my incredible rush. Patience is an habit therefore, it can be practiced. Patience always pays.
Great video again Coach! Everything is so true. My girlfriend has told me that she loves that I have my life and friends and she has hers. I also let her do whatever she wants lol she reaches out 75% of the time. I will often leave hanging out with her begging me to stay , and she most of the time she will message me that same night saying she misses me and or goodnight. 3 years strong. I love her to pieces. I must say I never knew I was naturally a 3% man ;) haha much love coach from 🇨🇦
Great advice. Baby boo has had some bs to work through. This will make it particularly difficult to connect as she’s assuming he will dip. He needs to keep himself busy not push it and see what she does.
I wish I knew about Corey before my last relationship! His advice would have save me SO MUCH time and heartache. I’m currently on my 4th read of 3% Man. Some of the concepts are starting to click now.
This may or may not be the topic of the video but today I felt my family were attacking me, projecting there negative behaviour onto me, I stood up for myself, telling them to use there f**king manners and be kind to me, then l went for a drive.
That's good that you stood up to them, even better if you can do it in a calm/not threatened way and do it from a place of self love and compassion with the other person you're talking with - just my opinion
I don't think I would have been exclusive with her until the number of times we saw each other during the week hit my sweet spot. I think that's where he messed up.
That's a great point man. This poor dude agreed to be exclusive when he wasn't happy with what he was getting back. Why would you do that? Because you feel you can't do any better... or don't deserve better.... so you compromise yourself and what you want. End result is, now he's unhappy and frustrated 8 months in, and it's a lot messier at this stage to get out of it. He could just be patient, wait her out, let her come at her pace like Corey says.... but still.... he shouldn't have caved his standards early on. If a girl isn't that into you after six months, go for someone who actually has more attraction to you and where things are more effortless. Why work so hard with someone like this, if you aren't happy with it?
@@CameronBartholomew Yep he should have been dating other girls during this time. Another probably would have risen to the top faster than this one because of a better fit.
She's got high standards, like coach said, or she has an avoidant attachment style. In general, it's pretty difficult to have a long term relationship with someone who has an insecure attachment style. As long as you're secure in yours and willing to wait it out and be a rock then she MIGHT eventually open up to you. Bottom line though is that you can't fix her.
She needs to go to therapy. No one else can force that its down to her. If he loves her then wait, but dont expect her to change. He has to decide whether this is something he can live with
I been with a girl like this… avoidant attachment style would always keep me at a distance and would make everything about her needs. She probably also has poor communication skills if shit starts to go side ways and will dump this guy at the drop of a hat
4:20 Impatience never commands success. When you become impatient and you become perturbed, If you become perturbed, you become uncentered, and make mistakes. 4:29 If you’re perturbed, you don’t make her feel safe and comfortable because you’re like an erupting volcano 🌋 7:25 Women have to feel safe and comfortable. That means you provide the environment - you’re the rock, the unpurturbable, immovable mountain. You’re not perturbed by what the changes are in the weather or how she shows up, you’re just always there with open arms ready to hang out, have fun and hook up. 8:45 If you’re upset that you’re not spending enough time together, whether you realize it or not you’re going to communicate that in your demeanor, in the tone of your voice, your physiology - she’s going to feel that 8:55 Women are very intuitive, they’re very connected to their emotions (unlike guys). Making her feel free, safe and comfortable is the important thing. 17:55 When you’re not worried about your woman you really can focus on your mission and purpose in life and be really successful. But if you’re always wondering in the back of your mind what your woman is doing or not doing, then it wreaks havoc on your professional life. 18:35 Be more focused on building your business. You’ve got to learn to be calm, relaxed, and slow it down. 20:20 If you’ve been with somebody 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, and you’re a busy professional the reality is you get in a rhythm where you’re hanging out only 1-2x/week or on weekends, and the rest of the week you’re slaying the dragons. 20:50 The reality is, no matter who it is, you’re gonna get bored. No matter how hot the girl is, there’s some dude somewhere who’s tired of f*ing her.
That's exactly what I was thinking! If she's meeting up with you once or twice a week while it's her idea, what's the problem? Lol That's what you want.
It would be great to hear a follow up on this one in a month or two. If he is only doing 10% of the reaching out I wonder if she is just not relationship material. Maybe she has become too structured, and is fighting her urges to keep distance.
I thought about this more. To be fair to the girl they could both be holding back. I don't understand why he shouldn't tell her about his needs. There practically no difference in doing 5% or 10% of the pursuing. She might not even notice and I'd guess nothing changes.
I've recently dated a girl which I believe to have had a fearful/dismissive -avoidant attachment style. She's a bright and amazing young woman, but compared to other girls, it wasn't easy... At some point, you have to decide if it's worth it. If you want to focus on your purpose or grind (as you should) it will be easier while dating a more healthy woman. Seeking professional help would be the best option for someone with serious attachment issues...
It's like exactly the girl i am with now .i am gonna leave her . that's a lot of work and energy to do and give for a girl .let her go man .you will find better i promise .maybe even five better
Hey guys, i’m a 22 year old man who read the book 6 times so far. At the moment i’m talking with a girl i met at the gym i work at a few weeks ago. I texted her asking if she was available for drinks and i want ur guys opinion on the response she gave me. The text went: “Hey you! That sounds really fun! The thing is, i just got out of a long term relationship and i’m not really ready to start dating again… But it’s super sweet and i’m flattered you asked me😘” What should i respond/do? I don’t want her to feel like she is going to lose her freedom by just going for a drink with me. Also, i’m going to be on a 4 weeks vacation in 8 days. Happy to hear you guys thoughts! -Will
"No worries, if you ever change your mind you know my number, text me and we'll see what we can do !" Thats it, theres nothing else to do. And don't make it awkward at the gym, do as if it never happened and be a smiling gentlemen.
Hey man! I am on my 4th reading. I believe you should answer something among the lines of: "great, give me a call if you change your mind". Don't text her until she reaches out to you. Move on. If she does reach out in a week or two, set a date and get off the phone. Her text says that she is not interested in seeing you (in other words, her level of attraction is below 5 for some reason). Try to spend your time with women whose level of attraction for you is high, it's just more fun that way. The lines about being super sweet does not mean much: she is just being nice: women are emotional beings that do not want to hurt your feeling, remember that. If she wanted to go out with you, she would do it. Go for your vacation and be about your purpose. You did right to ask her out, but personally I would recommend doing it over the phone since it's more ballsy. Women like when you are not afraid to call them. Plus it makes them feel like you are a busy guy that does not have time to check the phone all the time.
So, when do you communicate your own needs? If you're unaffected by her behaviour, then there wouldn't be the need to communicate your needs? Doesn't this make for a very one-sided relationship? So, if you would like her to reach out more, but she isn't, wouldn't you just get bored of her and move on to someone who does? Yet, if you don't communicate what you need, she's never going to know. I'm struggling to find the balance of giving her what she needs, and communicating my own needs. Because wouldn't a secure guy freely communicate if he's not happy with something and then move on if she's unable to provide? I don't fully understand it.
And if i'm unperturbed by her behaviour and unbothered by how she is, wouldn't i just 'forget' to reach out and the relationship just fizzles out because i've become too much of a cold fish? How do i find that balance?
Facts or undeniable facts?...you will always get what you need when she wants you more than you want her. She will always get what she wants when you want her more than she wants you. There is no equal balance in dating and relationships. One will always have more power over the other and it's better when a man does because men are naturally the leaders.
Re: "There is no equal balance in dating and relationships. One will always have more power over the other....." --- This only holds true if you are not happy, whole, complete, and content with yourself. If you are, and your partner is, then there is zero power struggle... ever. Per Corey's quote -- "If both people are happy, whole, complete and content with themselves, the relationship will continue to be stable and fulfilling. If one or both people are not, imbalances will arise leading to problems and hurt feelings. Get to a place where you are happy being alone before trying to get to a happy place with someone else." The whole other question would be if this is even possible in reality..... LOL. Corey seems to think so.
My last relationship went for 2 years, we were just seing each other on the week ends to do fun activities even though her flat was like 10 minutes walks from mine. Best relationship ever. I'm not seeing the day that a girl would make me quit my studio to live 24/7 with her, god I love having my space and my me-time.
No chance in hell this woman will ever fulfill his needs. If you're dating for 8 months and she's texting you just 5 days after a date, that wont change. I don't get this focus on developing your career and working on yourself and putting your relationship on the backburner. I like having my woman in my life. I want her to be a priority. I want to be my loving and caring self and not torture myself into a position where I need to back off constantly and stop pursuing. I fucking LOVE pursuing my girl. Relationships should be EASY. This isn't it for you man. If you follow Corey's advice here, your woman will be attracted to the man you're pretending to be and your needs won't be met.
Idk coach this girl sounds like she had a lot of baggage, I was with a girl like this and eventually it gets tiring, spending money and time with a girl who may cut and run at any moment isn’t a fun experience
Had a date last night. Chemistry was NOT off the charts but I was so relaxed and unattached. Such a success for me. Thank You Coach !! This is such a game changer
Also its about EXERCISING emotional self control 🙌🏿👍🏿
In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. Letting go leads to freedom.
If you think relationships are built on power you're a simp. No its about giving to the other person to make their life easier. Doesn't mean you don't need to be in the relationship if it's not reciprocated to your liking. This power look is what builds a toxic relationship dynamic.
@@trojanhorse1994 It is true that there less you care about the whole thing the more well off you will be if it doesn't work out
@@ElMuroBlues that's fine but then if you have that attitude what makes you think your partner is going to give you the same treatment? Therefore a crappy relationship you shouldn't even be in
Works better the older you get cause not only do you have more knowledge, you actually care less.
Coach's advice gets better with age, like a fine red
I am 34 and I can relate so much with this video. Mistakes i did in the past rsrsrs. I Hope to never do the same mistakes in the future!
The great thing about the comments on these videos is that we've all made similar mistakes, otherwise we likely wouldn't even know that Corey's work exists.
Golden advice. Patience is key: it shows the universe that you are not forcing, resisting.
Your next mug should be
“Be imperturbable”
I’m going through the exact same thing. Thank you coach and thank you to the writer
Thank you so much for uploading these. I’ve been following your work for 3 years now since my nasty divorce and you’ve helped me get my life back together, get back on my purpose, work on my issues and wait to find someone on the same wavelength, not just someone I’m physically attracted to. I can’t thank you enough for the guidance from your books and videos. My life is so much better than 3 years ago and it’s only getting better.
I know my morning is off to a good start when coach puts out a new video!
Timely, yet again! Actionless action. Thanks, Coach!! 🙏☯️
your STONKS, holy crap that took me by surprise how loud you said that lol
My last ex girlfriend was exactly like that. I invited her into my world with incredible patience, life didn't treated her well and her relationships were a mess. At the time, we were both going to school, I was working and spending all my free time with her, but I had the feeling that she didn't reciprocate me as I felt I deserved or I should say, as I "needed", it was the hardest thing because I wasn't centered. In the end, she kicked me out of her world because of my incredible rush.
Patience is an habit therefore, it can be practiced. Patience always pays.
Patience, a very important cheat code👍
Great video again Coach!
Everything is so true.
My girlfriend has told me that she loves that I have my life and friends and she has hers. I also let her do whatever she wants lol she reaches out 75% of the time. I will often leave hanging out with her begging me to stay , and she most of the time she will message me that same night saying she misses me and or goodnight. 3 years strong. I love her to pieces.
I must say I never knew I was naturally a 3% man ;) haha much love coach from 🇨🇦
Great advice. Baby boo has had some bs to work through. This will make it particularly difficult to connect as she’s assuming he will dip. He needs to keep himself busy not push it and see what she does.
1st to comment! Love corey’s insights!
I wish I knew about Corey before my last relationship! His advice would have save me SO MUCH time and heartache. I’m currently on my 4th read of 3% Man. Some of the concepts are starting to click now.
This may or may not be the topic of the video but today I felt my family were attacking me, projecting there negative behaviour onto me, I stood up for myself, telling them to use there f**king manners and be kind to me, then l went for a drive.
That's good that you stood up to them, even better if you can do it in a calm/not threatened way and do it from a place of self love and compassion with the other person you're talking with - just my opinion
I don't think I would have been exclusive with her until the number of times we saw each other during the week hit my sweet spot. I think that's where he messed up.
Yeah it is a balance. Both people have to agree on that sweet spot otherwise it is impossible to meet both needs
That's a great point man. This poor dude agreed to be exclusive when he wasn't happy with what he was getting back. Why would you do that? Because you feel you can't do any better... or don't deserve better.... so you compromise yourself and what you want. End result is, now he's unhappy and frustrated 8 months in, and it's a lot messier at this stage to get out of it.
He could just be patient, wait her out, let her come at her pace like Corey says.... but still.... he shouldn't have caved his standards early on. If a girl isn't that into you after six months, go for someone who actually has more attraction to you and where things are more effortless. Why work so hard with someone like this, if you aren't happy with it?
@@CameronBartholomew Yep he should have been dating other girls during this time. Another probably would have risen to the top faster than this one because of a better fit.
Thumbs up for the stonks comment
🦍
Could have not come at better timing wow thanks coach!
She's got high standards, like coach said, or she has an avoidant attachment style. In general, it's pretty difficult to have a long term relationship with someone who has an insecure attachment style. As long as you're secure in yours and willing to wait it out and be a rock then she MIGHT eventually open up to you. Bottom line though is that you can't fix her.
She needs to go to therapy. No one else can force that its down to her. If he loves her then wait, but dont expect her to change. He has to decide whether this is something he can live with
I been with a girl like this… avoidant attachment style would always keep me at a distance and would make everything about her needs. She probably also has poor communication skills if shit starts to go side ways and will dump this guy at the drop of a hat
Yea dismissive avoidants are essentially the kind of woman coach tells us to avoid. (Belongs to the streets)
"STONKS"
- based coach corey
Always on time coach!
4:20 Impatience never commands success. When you become impatient and you become perturbed, If you become perturbed, you become uncentered, and make mistakes.
4:29 If you’re perturbed, you don’t make her feel safe and comfortable because you’re like an erupting volcano 🌋
7:25 Women have to feel safe and comfortable. That means you provide the environment - you’re the rock, the unpurturbable, immovable mountain. You’re not perturbed by what the changes are in the weather or how she shows up, you’re just always there with open arms ready to hang out, have fun and hook up.
8:45 If you’re upset that you’re not spending enough time together, whether you realize it or not you’re going to communicate that in your demeanor, in the tone of your voice, your physiology - she’s going to feel that
8:55 Women are very intuitive, they’re very connected to their emotions (unlike guys). Making her feel free, safe and comfortable is the important thing.
17:55 When you’re not worried about your woman you really can focus on your mission and purpose in life and be really successful. But if you’re always wondering in the back of your mind what your woman is doing or not doing, then it wreaks havoc on your professional life.
18:35 Be more focused on building your business. You’ve got to learn to be calm, relaxed, and slow it down.
20:20 If you’ve been with somebody 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, and you’re a busy professional the reality is you get in a rhythm where you’re hanging out only 1-2x/week or on weekends, and the rest of the week you’re slaying the dragons.
20:50 The reality is, no matter who it is, you’re gonna get bored. No matter how hot the girl is, there’s some dude somewhere who’s tired of f*ing her.
That's exactly what I was thinking! If she's meeting up with you once or twice a week while it's her idea, what's the problem? Lol That's what you want.
I’m not impatient. I just keep it moving
I really need to commit to getting through the book again. 10x seems like a lot but well worth it i know
Coach found his shaver!
It would be great to hear a follow up on this one in a month or two. If he is only doing 10% of the reaching out I wonder if she is just not relationship material. Maybe she has become too structured, and is fighting her urges to keep distance.
I thought about this more. To be fair to the girl they could both be holding back. I don't understand why he shouldn't tell her about his needs. There practically no difference in doing 5% or 10% of the pursuing. She might not even notice and I'd guess nothing changes.
He's focused on the relationship. When he should be focusing on the next date to have fun with her.
I've recently dated a girl which I believe to have had a fearful/dismissive -avoidant attachment style. She's a bright and amazing young woman, but compared to other girls, it wasn't easy... At some point, you have to decide if it's worth it. If you want to focus on your purpose or grind (as you should) it will be easier while dating a more healthy woman. Seeking professional help would be the best option for someone with serious attachment issues...
Stay single stay happy...
It's like exactly the girl i am with now .i am gonna leave her . that's a lot of work and energy to do and give for a girl .let her go man .you will find better i promise .maybe even five better
Is your girl forcing you to do more or you do more because you are scared to loose her? Just curious.
Hey guys, i’m a 22 year old man who read the book 6 times so far. At the moment i’m talking with a girl i met at the gym i work at a few weeks ago.
I texted her asking if she was available for drinks and i want ur guys opinion on the response she gave me.
The text went:
“Hey you!
That sounds really fun! The thing is, i just got out of a long term relationship and i’m not really ready to start dating again… But it’s super sweet and i’m flattered you asked me😘”
What should i respond/do? I don’t want her to feel like she is going to lose her freedom by just going for a drink with me. Also, i’m going to be on a 4 weeks vacation in 8 days.
Happy to hear you guys thoughts!
-Will
"No worries, if you ever change your mind you know my number, text me and we'll see what we can do !"
Thats it, theres nothing else to do.
And don't make it awkward at the gym, do as if it never happened and be a smiling gentlemen.
Hey man! I am on my 4th reading. I believe you should answer something among the lines of: "great, give me a call if you change your mind". Don't text her until she reaches out to you. Move on. If she does reach out in a week or two, set a date and get off the phone. Her text says that she is not interested in seeing you (in other words, her level of attraction is below 5 for some reason). Try to spend your time with women whose level of attraction for you is high, it's just more fun that way. The lines about being super sweet does not mean much: she is just being nice: women are emotional beings that do not want to hurt your feeling, remember that. If she wanted to go out with you, she would do it. Go for your vacation and be about your purpose. You did right to ask her out, but personally I would recommend doing it over the phone since it's more ballsy. Women like when you are not afraid to call them. Plus it makes them feel like you are a busy guy that does not have time to check the phone all the time.
Dating since December; "exclusive" since May; she (2 years older) brought it up. That's all I need to know...
She's declining
So, when do you communicate your own needs? If you're unaffected by her behaviour, then there wouldn't be the need to communicate your needs? Doesn't this make for a very one-sided relationship? So, if you would like her to reach out more, but she isn't, wouldn't you just get bored of her and move on to someone who does? Yet, if you don't communicate what you need, she's never going to know. I'm struggling to find the balance of giving her what she needs, and communicating my own needs. Because wouldn't a secure guy freely communicate if he's not happy with something and then move on if she's unable to provide? I don't fully understand it.
And if i'm unperturbed by her behaviour and unbothered by how she is, wouldn't i just 'forget' to reach out and the relationship just fizzles out because i've become too much of a cold fish? How do i find that balance?
Take a shot every time Coach says “perturbed/Perturb”
Facts or undeniable facts?...you will always get what you need when she wants you more than you want her. She will always get what she wants when you want her more than she wants you. There is no equal balance in dating and relationships. One will always have more power over the other and it's better when a man does because men are naturally the leaders.
Re: "There is no equal balance in dating and relationships. One will always have more power over the other....."
--- This only holds true if you are not happy, whole, complete, and content with yourself. If you are, and your partner is, then there is zero power struggle... ever. Per Corey's quote -- "If both people are happy, whole, complete and content with themselves, the relationship will continue to be stable and fulfilling. If one or both people are not, imbalances will arise leading to problems and hurt feelings. Get to a place where you are happy being alone before trying to get to a happy place with someone else."
The whole other question would be if this is even possible in reality..... LOL. Corey seems to think so.
Man, I'll happily take 1 day a week. I don't know about y'all I get tired spending time with the same person multiple times a week.
My last relationship went for 2 years, we were just seing each other on the week ends to do fun activities even though her flat was like 10 minutes walks from mine. Best relationship ever. I'm not seeing the day that a girl would make me quit my studio to live 24/7 with her, god I love having my space and my me-time.
No chance in hell this woman will ever fulfill his needs.
If you're dating for 8 months and she's texting you just 5 days after a date, that wont change. I don't get this focus on developing your career and working on yourself and putting your relationship on the backburner. I like having my woman in my life. I want her to be a priority. I want to be my loving and caring self and not torture myself into a position where I need to back off constantly and stop pursuing. I fucking LOVE pursuing my girl.
Relationships should be EASY. This isn't it for you man. If you follow Corey's advice here, your woman will be attracted to the man you're pretending to be and your needs won't be met.
Hey guys anyone hiring also there is a song I am releasing soon please share
He’s over-pursuing. He needs to back off.
He should see multiple people then he would have his needs met. Depends too much on one girl
Idk coach this girl sounds like she had a lot of baggage, I was with a girl like this and eventually it gets tiring, spending money and time with a girl who may cut and run at any moment isn’t a fun experience
How many percent of a man are y’all? 🤔
You should have stayed with the English girlfriend Cory… just saying
i agree. he simply mentions her too often
This 22 year old guy needs to study up on SMV and also do some research on Dread Game
Dude needs hobbies, preferably outdoorsy