Overcoming Comparison and Accepting Ordinary | Being Well Podcast
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2024
- When was the last time you went through a day without comparing yourself to anyone-comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel on social media, or being critical of your own willpower and abilities? Avoiding these mental traps can be quite challenging, especially in a culture that emphasizes the importance of being exceptional, extraordinary, or ‘special’.
In reality of course, we are all special-and all ordinary, and on this episode of Being Well, we are joined by psychologist and author Ronald Siegel to discuss why that might not be such a bad thing. We discuss how to drop the myth of the extraordinary, how to heal from feelings of inadequacy, and what healthy self-esteem looks like.
About our Guest: Dr. Siegel is Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, international speaker on the topics of mindfulness and compassion, and author of several books including his latest, The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary: Finding Happiness Right Where You Are.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:45 What prompted Ron’s inquiry into being ordinary
7:05 Cultural and evolutionary factors
12:55: Fluctuations in self-esteem based on success and failure
17:05 Social connection as antidote
19:15 What being ordinary looks like
21:35 Three ways to drop the myth of the extraordinary
32:15 Rick’s path to healing his own feelings of inadequacy
40:05 Predispositions to having a sense of worth and value
46:45 Love vs. ‘specialness’
50:50 Reaping the benefits of self-esteem without getting caught in its traps
59:00 Recap
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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
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🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 www.forresthanson.com
📸 / f.hanson
We are both ordinary and extraordinary in this life. Knowing it's a continuum and practicing self compassion along the way is one way to find balance. We are this and that . These days its very rare to find well adjusted humans.
These discussions are very appreciated.
I think this video is the MOST articulate presentation I’ve listened to of what creates suffering and separation and feeling stuck, and reframing the way to approach these common human difficulties, based on the insights of these people who have given deep thought and dedicated their lives to understanding what works and what doesn’t.
Thank you!
'Safe social connection' can be nearly impossible for many Autistics. Many are unable to form even a handful of real and safe connections in their entire lifetime. Even if they/we can make a connection, the likihood of keeping it is highly unlikely. So all this is great to hear and listen to but not realistically obtainable for many. It is heartbreaking.
These are just the absolute best conversations, the combo of dr Rick and Forrest bring out the best on each guest. Please keep ‘em coming!
I was diagnosed as "gifted" at a young age and expected to become extraordinary in some way. I'm 34 now and really struggling with depression & feeling like a failure. I don't have a stable job, or money, or a partner. And improvement feels pointless when I keep comparing myself to the "special" person I was supposed to become. Hearing this discussion is incredibly calming and reminds me to keep reading about Buddhism & psychology. Thank you so much for this video.
this was the best and most relatable podcast ever. i’ve been severely struggling with self esteem and comparison this helped put things into perspective and think differently. 👏🏼
brilliant episode, love the somatic "exercise" demonstrating deflation/inflation, thank you
Thank you for having this discussion. It helped me not feel like I’m the only one who suffers with this.
Another EXCELLENT discussion! Bravo, all three of you. I am grateful 🙏
This is just wonderful
so therapeutic for me. Thank you.
I loved the topic and the great discussion offered by three of you in a very understandable way. I have seen many ordinary people who have been victimized by their strong desire to be extraordinary. Thank you all!
Thanks for listening!
Just tuning in and already I’m really enjoying the conversation and resonating with it. 😊
Forrest & Rick, love your new? Logo (bottom right). Another fabulous session, helped to gently release my [self] pressure valve. Thank you!
Love the decor and the vibe, Dr Siegell! You seem so incredibly mindful and calm
Thanks for another excellent episode Hanson Boys! (That's what me and my girlfriend refer to you as, when we mention things we've learnt from you both a gazillion times ♥️)
Than you for this insightful session. It was immensely helpful! 😊
Unconditional self-esteem. Excellent and inspiring talk. Thank you, greatly! It’s a whole new way of looking .. ❤
This video was suggested to me at the perfect time. Thank you for the tips!
Glad to hear it!
Thanks!
Bought the book after watching this
This was immensely helpful. thank you!!
Wow, 3 people who look so at peace.
Very concentrated but good information,
"Absolutely appreciating the particular constellation of strengths and weaknesses, culture and identities; that makes up each of us. That's Fantastic.
(But) It's the it's the putting value judgements on it and the emotional experience of getting attached to the ups and avoiding the downs.
That's what seems to be problematic."
- Ronald Siegel 26:27
Is there a podcast or talk by Dr. Hanson that goes more into retroactive repair and how to do that? I'll see if I can find something online, but that really resonates with me and I'd like to investigate. I definitely didn't get what I needed as a child emotionally, or psychologically. Thanks!
Hey Carol, we have a bunch of content on the podcast focused on repairing old wounds (and also going through a repair process inside our relationships). All the episodes aren't up on TH-cam, but you can find us on Spotify/Apple/Google Podcasts/etc.
@@ForrestHanson thank you so much! I so enjoy your podcast and Dr Hansen's Wednesday night meditations. So helpful and a great resource!
I think that feeling inadequate or ordinary actually reflects in mind the real condition in which we are powerless to get what we want from the nature and society. This is existential condition and can't be escaped. As non-priviliged individuals in society, unlike the privileged people, we face a lot of difficulties to survive and to get pleasure from life. So, our mind subconsciously or consciously understand this reality and thus, start to suffer due to not getting what it wants. Mind understand that we can't change harsh realities of life and are actually victim of blind casualties of "fate".
I don't believe in happiness and peace without having material resources which helps us to achieve success. And I don't believe that the modern psychology can do something about this.
Great talks but spoilt by constant, lengthy adverts
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