LADIES: Listen to Tony! I followed his "How to Date Correctly" video (the one where he has on a white tee. He recorded it about a year ago, fyi) EXACTLY and it helped me enter into a healthy, loving, progressing relationship. Listen to Tony! Especially if it hurts your feelings!! Ask yourself why it struck a nerve and work on whatever that is lol
I actually believe it is much easier for average looking people to find good relationships than highly attractive people. People put too many bad stereotypes and assumptions on attractive men and women before they even get to know them. Attractive men are seen as players and beautiful women are seen as gold diggers and users.
I think it's because as Tony said, the top tier men and women who are well-rounded in terms of looks, character, education can afford to be more picky.
I agree with you its now become trendy to dog attractive people out with the same tired stereotypes and its not right to do that - attractive people have feelings too -
💯💯💯 I seen a guy post he was told growing up never to get married to a very pretty woman..that had me feel some type of way ..ppl are being groomed as children to pass up their blessings
I always wondered why I see many "plain janes" of various races and their husband can't keep their hands off of them. The women who are dolled up are single.
All I can say as a single woman is it’s HARD OUT HERE! The dynamic of the female/male connection have shifted in a way where it’s frightening. Discernment is a must now more than ever. Vetting and patience is a must. My faith in God keeps me hopeful. I’m just gonna keep working on me.
On point with the shift something different going on between men wemon relationship I never knew that it would end up like this I pray for healthy marriages but in these time but is it over
Very simple: Date older or Date out Attractiveness, really is a matter of money... if youre single, its only because the men in ur environment cant afford to holla at you.
It's so hard and have been working on me. I live in a small town and online dating is about the only option and he says not to. I'm still praying for the one so hard in 40's
It is a mess and draining.. why should it be this hard? Why are men the prize and women a dime a dozen and losing value to men by the min. Too many women out here striving to be perfect and yet men will try to just use and abuse.. the rejection, the trials and heartbreak make me think I would be better off just having peace.
I am considered a pretty attractive woman and this is what I have found. I have dated nice guys, bad boys, fine men, ugly men, skinny men, fat men, tall men, short men, men I was attracted to, and men that I wasn't attracted to. I have found that they have all cheated on me or been disrespectful in some way. I used to be thin, now I'm plus sized. The treatment actually got slightly better with more weight on me. At this point, I'm in my 40s, I take every man with a grain of salt. I have found that a lot of men approach me, but it is in a lustful way. I have also found that these guys tend to commit to more "average looking" woman. I have also found that my friends that are considered "average" are more likely to get into relationships. I have also found that most of the women I know who are in committed relationships have settled in some way. At this point, I just focus on living my best life.
I noticed the same. I was just at my bro's wedding shower and all his friends' girlfriends and wives are average looking. And everyone compliments me on how I look and how I dress all the time but everytime I go to any event Im always the single one. I also attract the guys that go out of their way to approach me but dont want a relationship. Im like why wouldnt you want a relationship with me but you so call say I have all of these good qualities you want in a woman. Make it make sense.
@@PCF09 I forgot to add that my average looking fat ex husband cheated on me with an below average looking woman with a bald head. Make that make sense. I’m focusing on enjoying my single life. 🤷🏽♀️
Omg this is so true!!! Men/boys straight up tell me they don’t trust “pretty” girls. Have y’all ever heard them say “I don’t want a pretty girl too many men will want her, she can’t turn them all down” Also they will try to humble you if you’re pretty
@@MulattoArchive I have never heard that, but now that makes sense. I have had a man tell me that he would need a miracle to have a chance with me because I probably have a lot of guys after me. I also had a man tell me when he was dumping me that he didn’t think that I would be single much longer after. It’s been ten months since he dumped me and I’m still single with no prospects. 🤷🏽♀️
@@PCF09 ME TOO!!!!! Let me tell you how many men that are already in relationships and marriages that approach me. The single men are scared, they feel more comfortable with someone average and lust after us on the side.
Attractive women usually have a lot of men who only go after them for sex. And when that happens often, she has to have discernment. It is not flattering when a man doesn’t take you very seriously cause they simply see you as a piece of meat or a “fun time”. I’m now super cautious with a man’s intent. There is no shortage of them who just wants a little fun at your expense. Believe that.
A woman told me when I was a teenager to have a boyfriend that was unattractive so I would not have problems with other girls wanting my boyfriend. I have learned that the unattractive men are disrespectful as well, it's the personality of a person that makes a person attractive, some men that are very attractive can have a ugly personality because they are conceited because women cater to them because they look good, they never make them accountable for their bad behavior
You are speaking the truth, I admit when I was younger, I honestly thought that ugly men would treat me better, but it turns out that that wasn't the case at all. I spoke to a few and they all were extremely disrespectful. I'm not doing that again.
I learned that the hard way. I'm not picky and always dated a touch of ugly but my last ex was downright hideous. His coworkers thought he paid me to date him. Anyways I'm very attractive but I get embarrassed by my looks because I was always the ugly duckling. This short, big head, bald ugly man had the audacity to hide me online, cheat on me and compete with me. Even when I had cancer and he did nothing to help except shave my head, he would try to steal my thunder when people complimented me on my bald head. Never again will I date an ugly short man.
At this point just wait on God! Singleness is not a disease no matter how old you are!!! People like who they like and we should be so focused on trying to get into heaven because we are in the last days!!! Your soul should be in order 🤷🏾♀️
Why are 99% of TH-cam videos about how women need to lower their standards but never for the man to lower his standards? Or come up to financially meet her where she is?
💯 it sounds like a running theme to make women accept the bare minimum from men because we are supposed to feel desperate and afraid that there aren't enough men for us so if we don't accept the foolishness we will die alone. 🙄
Although the content that encourages women to lower their standards is trash, it's likely because in reality, women don't offer that much. A man has to come to the table from the jump being able to protect, to provide, to lead, to be the man in all things. All a woman has to do is follow and look pretty. Yes women have many burdens in dating, but men have a hell of a time because we have tangible things we need to offer that take years and years to develop. If you're a man in his prime why would you lower your standards? Even as a broke man you still have the burden of provision and protection. There will always be more pressure on the man no matter his looks or financial status.
@@mr.bbl-buster lets be real alot of men bring nothing to the table and dont see anything wrong with it. A dude that has the bare necessities such his own place, vehicle, and job thinks he should have any woman n treat her life trash. Not over here
@@tashahall1855right majority of men haven’t worked on themselves nor do they understand what women truly need and then they get confused when the sex dries up in marriage. The women stop bothering being a sex object and either go numb or seek that emotional fulfillment elsewhere.
Same,I remember a guy who I thought was really cool and a friend,told me that men won't take me serious cause I was too pretty and they think that pretty women are wild, mind you!!him and his gf was not attractive but yet still he wanted to do me!!!I was so confused and upset.
Men cheat with beautiful women, but usually marry average looking. Most men have too low self esteem to marry a beautiful woman. They want the feeling of knowing he can leave ,not her.
Exactly! And some lack the confidence to be in a relationship with an attractive woman because some men suffer with low self esteem. They think pretty women are stuck up and they pre-judge us, but when you see what they are in a relationship with it is surprising.
I know my husband was sent straight from God. He didn’t check all the boxes when it came to “preference” when we met, in fact I thought he was a square. Was the best decision I have ever made! Don’t be tricked by preference ladies, you may miss out on a blessing!
the problem with the world is so many people have issues stemming from childhood that needs to be addressed - before they start dating. Folks are superficial, ungrateful, ignorant, heartless, hurt, and arrogant. Instead of being stable, good, sensible, humble, more appreciative and open. There are both single men & women in the comments that can find mates if they "thought outside of the box" & worked on themselves 1st. Yes, I said it. Women will spend $hundreds of dollar doing hair, makeup nails, (on the outside) yet won't go to counseling and ( send $1) to fix what's going on in the inside. Change and compromise is necessary. Focus on that instead of thinking others should change. Start by changing yourself. Real talk!
Basically beautiful/pretty women have options and alot of men are insecure. So no it's easier to be with a average woman who will settle for them and never leave. It's all about security. Beautiful women are hard work and guys are lazy lol.
That’s what you got from this??? He is literally talking about shallowness. He is literally saying a man could be the best person in the world to you but because society has said you are gorgeous you look down on others.
Date on your level. Be realistic on expectations. Take a deeper look at yourself. Check your preferences vs. standards. Look at face value not fantasy. I’m going to have to watch this again. This was a great message. It requires a rewatch.
The problem is that it’s hard to find a man with good character. They all want to hook up so we have no other choice but to be selective so we won’t get hurt!!!!
@@paulo7507 No, the trash guys are attracted to *us* so we have to self-protect, and the nice guys don’t go any deeper than superficial chat that lets them know we like them, because they think we’ll cheat on them 🤦🏼♀️ They’d rather take the ego boost of mutual attraction, and run…🤣
When you go searching for love, they seem nowhere to be found, but when you don't, they come into your life at the perfect time. 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
I’m single because I’m a socially awkward introvert. I meet men all the time but I always manage to say the wrong thing or put my foot in my mouth. I also don’t get out much. I’m trying to get out more and meet more people. I feel awkward going to things by myself but I’m getting used to it.
me too. im decent looking but i had traumas that made me reclusive and i attracted jerks when i did meet guys who were interested, which is not many. because i didnt put my self out there. also cuz of my autism. but God gave me a few options which i turned down. and i got turned down by guys i wanted to be with. i also dont work and dont do enough to self love and so the last guy i was with who was poor and didnt have a job himself just a pension and volunteered so kinda saw me as a do-nothing and criticized me and also used me as i dont "do enough" in my life even for a poor guys standards :/
I used to be but God grew me out of it to some extent because He’s called me to ministry- you can get more comfortable with people by just asking somebody a question to start a conversation- it works most people respond and it helps to ask something about what they’re wearing or if you’re standing in line where they work or something like that
@Chantel Waters - Yes!!! The nicer a man looks the more likely I am to want to run in the opposite direction. It’s weird because I’m confident in every other area but when it comes to men….. It’s a process.
A lot of attractive people are lovers of themselves and the world and you can’t be that and seek the kingdom and love God first, we’re just a vessel on earth. Solid relationships and marriages are like a braid=three strains (Man/God/women), a two strain twist (just man/women and no God) will always unravel. A braid locks a man’s has to lead in love but they have to be equally yolked spiritually, but attractive people that are humble and seek wisdom from God are the unicorns and set apart of this earth.
I was 5’-11” before I broke my neck. My husband was 4” shorter than me. I’ve never cared much for men’s looks or height, and I just wanted him to have a decent job. But that still didn’t get me a good man. One of the reasons women’s preferences get so high as they get older is, because we didn’t care about superficial things when we were young, and we got dogged out anyway. If I’m gonna get dogged out, he’d better at least be hot. All men are acting like players these days, so what’s the point in giving any subpar man a chance when he’s just gonna act like the rich model guy, too?
I think you should be a little more honest and state that when these black men begin to make more money or reach a certain level of status, they will then pursue a lighter skinned or white woman.
That is simply not true. There are too many examples of Black men who date dark skinned women and if that is the case for "some men" who have a preference for light skinned women, then don't be concerned nor bothered about that. Some men and women have or had this preference because of Westernized societal preference. Many are walking around in a bubble.
That is simply not true. There are too many examples of Black men who date dark skinned women and if that is the case for "some men" who have a preference for light skinned women, then don't be concerned nor bothered about that. Some men and women have or had this preference because of Westernized societal preference. Many are walking around in a bubble.
I'm an introvert, shy & definitely don't approach men, which in this day & time, my friends think I'm too old fashioned. I live in Biloxi, MS & inspite of going to the beach, out to lunch/dinner, movies, shopping, men do not approach me. I smile & look pleasant but still nothing. It has been this way for 8.5yrs. The only thing I can think of is God is protecting & preserving me for whom he has specifically designed for me.
Plan some trips, if you're capable, short weekend getaways to neighborhood states when there are events happening...new surroundings, new people, new opportunities 😊
Many people considered attractive are also often treated with hostility by men and women. But especially women. People also sometimes act as if the pretty/beautiful woman is going to be nasty. I found most beautiful people I know are extremely kind…and sometimes even more kind than usual because of the expectation that she or he is nasty. Some of my beautiful friends are often attacked if they are in the vicinity of a jealous person when someone compliments. It is sometimes a vicious and debilitating experience for the attractive person. Believe it or not there are some people who don’t know, sincerely don’t know how beautiful they are because they were raised to believe beauty is vain. Which it can be
Ditto. I was raised in a Domestic Violence home. And I would see and hear the father talk down on women. I never knew I was one. Till later on in life. I was isolated and made to be felt no one cared about me or not worth looking at. Even if my friends would say I had nice skin or a body. Yes, even at work I would get dirty looks from women. I dress very conservative at work. There were a few times some women tried to get me fired for no reason. At 2 other employers the Manager or higher up would make up stuff to get me fired but I have always learned to keep a log of what I do. Anyways..I do get jealousy from my own father, female coworkers and an x husband. I Pray that God bring me a Godly man. Blessings.
@@tjaspire Yes and don't talk about your personal life either or at least within ears reach. They will try anything against you. My intuition told me to change departments and at the end God was still there for me. They got let go cuz the new dept they needed me and the one they were in got eliminated. Even once they tried to get me in trouble for wearing a spaghetti strap under another blouse. Like I said I dress conservative and classy for many reasons. Blessings(":
As an attractive person I can admit people instantly judge me and don’t even try putting effort into me cause they think I’m a player. But some attractive people truly are hallow. They have nothing but their looks so they have never had to develop their personality. I’ve noticed this especially with people that have been attractive their whole life.
… & women treat you completely differently if you have a lil looks on you, have confidence & men fall over you. I became aware of this when I was 36 years old. Girls would always come down hard on me & I never understood why, & a particular event at that age made me realise women expect me to over extend myself being nice. I am introverted & quietly confident, combined with being somewhat attractive, which makes women read me as “thinking I’m all that” when I’m just out here tryna live my life. 🤣 You are expected to work harder to prove yourself as likeable, otherwise women think you’re stuck up & every negative adjective under the sun.
@@yanikeonpurpose ya but when a person really secure in themselves they are genuinely happy for others and they don’t get intimidated by another person shining. They know how to clap for others. So, There’s really nothing you should feel like you have to prove to anyone cause the right people will be more than happy to uplift you.
You’re so right. I was a later bloomer so early on I developed my personality and humor. Then I grew to modern day standard attractive. But people look at me and judge me solely on looks and I’m like I’m actually not spoilt or thick or ignorant or a player.
I’m classed as an attractive women. Not by my own standards or inflated self esteem as I don’t have any, but by what I’m told , peoples reactions to me, strangers telling me in the street etc. people think you have it made as you’re attractive and it’s not true. I’be dated many men and they see me only as eye candy. They don’t care about anything else. I’ve literally said to men, you treat me like I should sit there and just look pretty. It breaks my heart. I’m Also intelligent, funny, grounded, empathetic, creative, artistic, and so much more. But all that doesn’t matter. Men tend to come and treat me mean to keep me keen. They will go out of there way too put me down and assert themselves… and there is no need at all. Some have even said “if I boost you and give you wings you’ll fly away” . They keep me at arms length as they fear someone worse will come and turn my head as they feel they don’t deserve me- when I’ve deemed they do. They don’t have to earn thousands or be a Greek god. I liked them as I’ve connected with them on some level. My list is base level at this point. I’ve no where else to go… and let me tell you, the lower the level the worse they treat me! Fact! I don’t look for supreme or above average earnings, I’m looking for consistency, effort, connection and love.
I have been having this issue for a while even when I was with my children 's father he says I look like a player. I have been getting men who either want sex or get some money.
I have been going through exactly the same thing that you are describing. It is really difficult dating and meeting people that will see past the exterior. Hoping you find a man of character who will brings you value.
Well this is new.. don't think there's many women like that, that I have ever spoken to. I've given up on tryna meet women for pretty much the same reasons. Money and all that shit is dumb and so is all the texting games or tryna keep someone on their toes coz they only find you attractive and that's it.. its draining, if people aren't gonna connect on a soul level or genuinely plan a future with you then they're not worth a dime.
I listened but I thought this was going to be about why attractive people just flat out are not approached. There are many attractive people who have good personalities and are not spoiled, but are still single.
Nowadays, it just seems like some men want the extra glamorous woman..they say they don't but when it's a more natural looking woman in their presence, they tend to focus on the other type..I've seen this happen too many times..and when I say natural meaning straightened hair too..very lite makeup opposed to the woman wearing the latest style wigs and makeup like they've just left a photo shoot or runway..I'm not knocking at all..just stating when I've observed for awhile now. It's like men actually want you to be apart of the joneses.
Definitely took notes being a single 26 years old woman and it makes a lot of sense thank you for the pointers uncle Tony I will apply these moving forward 🎯 the what do you desire is where I am .
Certain men will treat women like exotic dancers even if we have natural bodies. No butt injections or boob jobs, 9-5, domesticated and still somehow want us to be stripperish 😆
This was such a real conversation! We have to look in the mirror and check ourselves! Sometimes We are the reason why we can’t get what we want in life.
My man makes over six figures (I do as well) and is well over 6ft. Owns property. Doesn’t care if I work, but prefers a woman who will be very involved with the children, like you mentioned in the video. He said some ex dumped him years ago because he didn’t have a six pack? He is built like a burly football player, so definitely still in shape. To that woman, I say thank you. There are tons of single women still out there because they want the whole superficial list and are not looking at deeper qualities like is the man a good person, attractive to you, financially responsible? I was a late bloomer, so didn’t start getting attention until maybe two years ago, but my standards have remained the same God-fearing, responsible, tall, never married, no kids, good career, good person. A receding hairline can be covered up with a good haircut by the way, lol.
What age group are you in? I started dating in 1984. I was married for over 20 years, and all my children are grown. Im considered attractive, have good career house cars, etc, and over the years, I have seen it all. It's all on a case by case basis. There is no secret strategy for dating, especially with the new generation of shallow people. I think the real problem is just finding a person who meets our standards physically and psychologically and with whom you are able to form a bond.
I'm definitely the reason why I'm single. I passed up on alot of decent guys who wanted to build with me because of my preferences. I appreciate this video definitely gonna apply what I've learned here.
**Rolls eyes** Had to speed this up 1.5x to even get thru this. Lol smh. He's saying 'Pretty/beautiful' is going to be ultra selective. OK then I would want to ask, explain 'Very NOT attractive ' men being equally as selective? Lol 😆 😆 Saying THIS MESS, is why alot of men 'assume' attractive wmn are ultra picky, WHEN most of us are not. So what happens is, the avg guy will think the 'attractive' wmn, wouldnt even want him, so he comes thru with HALF ASSED EFFORT. And THAT'S the sh*t that turns alot of wmn off... and why alot of 'attractive' wmn are single. Alot of these guys are very lazy in making the effort to geniunely get to know 'attractive' wmn and learn what SHE NEEDS emotionally frm a man. The very simple answer, if youre an attractive wmn and you're struggling to find a man, either date out or date older, because usually, the men in your immediate circle just simple cant afford you. **shrugs** Sorry, to say it, but this worked for me. lol 😆 😆 lol 😆 😆
Tony I lowered my standards--People kept telling me I could do better--Dated a brother receiving disability due to heart condition***the brother went up about three levels while with me**then he started cheating within three years--I felt like I cleaned him up for the next woman So, I decided to walk out of his life***No REGRETS!
Yep…last guy I dated, I settled to give a guy a chance and he was the worse once he thought he had me. I will never settle again. You just got to choose men based on their actions and how they treat you…over time…cause looks and money, good or bad, are not good indicators of character.
Sorry to hear that sis, karma is a bitch and it's going to catch up to him, can I ask if you can share what were some of the things you did to help clean him up or move him up levels so that we as women can pay attention to only do those things once we're sure of the man? Because I'm guilty of what you described as well, thank you
@@lanam1636 I scheduled dentist appointments for extractions of rotten teeth that was causing bad breath--BUT didn't pay for the work that had to be done***Driver license had expired due to unlawful issues**I went to DMV website and found a practice test he could utilize to help him obtain his driver's license**he passed on first attempt 😀 Scheduled all medical appointments and went in Dr's appointments with him as finance so I would make sure he didn't have any STD's etc.--BUT I didn't pay for medical appointment visits--After receiving Disability settlement he NEVER filled up my gas tank--He had purchased an old model truck--got better gas mileage driving my car when we went out-of-town. Then one day he asked me to co-sign for a car---I told him No--told him he was financially capable of paying cash for the car if not ask his Dad to co-sign**I was in my fifties at the time--So I had lived long enough to know not to co-sign! I knew he was trying to take advantage of me after that incident. He helped me with household issues, etc. I couldn't prove it**BUT I knew he was cheating on me. So-I ended the relationship.
Wow one thing I learned is don’t date out your league, only for that reason when us women date down we get played and used and broken down so he can bring you to his Level only to control you, it’s all about control period
Just because people find someone beautiful it doesn’t mean the person sees their self as beautiful. I am told almost daily that I’m pretty or beautiful or have a pleasing face but the catch is I had a stepfather that told me I was ugly as a joke from age 10-14. After being told you’re ugly repeatedly (even as a joke) you start to believe that it must be true. I’m now 52 and notice more attention than in my whole youth. I now look back and realize I was catered to but I didn’t see. I was so insecure that every compliment was bs. I was jealous of pretty women so I couldn’t be one of them. Until 4 years ago I believed men looked away when I looked at them because they found me unattractive. Now I know it’s because I’ve caught them looking at me. Again, just because other people find someone attractive doesn’t mean the person finds their self attractive. I’m single and I am still chased by men from the age of 22 to 72. I avoided dating really good looking men all of my life because of the fear of losing them. I’ve mostly dated men I’m not attracted to physically and usually end the relationship’s because sex with someone you are not attracted to is torture. There have been a few men that I was initially attracted to that I ended up falling for and they were players/cheaters. For that reason I’ve decided I will only date men I’m physically attracted to. It’s still hard to choose a man when there are so many. Now I look for men that go out of their way to get my attention and the men that are a little nervous to speak to me. I find that when a man is nervous it’s usually because he cares to win me over.
What you explained around the 30 min. mark is exactly what happened to Kim and Kayne. The way he talked about her when they first got together(glamorizing and worshipping her) changed because he wanted to domesticate her and she wasn’t that type. Now he talks about her like she wasn’t crap before she met him and he’s the best thing to every happen to her.
I get it!! I see many people in coaching who are listening but not really hearing and putting things in action in order to effect change within themselves. I still have faith in reaching clients where they’re at. Great analysis of the realness in singleness today.
As a coach, its our job to listen more than we speak, so the clients can tell themselves what they need. Because you're right. When we tell them what we know, they don't listen.
Well I tell you this hit home! Ladies TG is just giving us the truth I took notes TG always say listen to his videos 3 times! TG spoke so many things to my spirit and I should have shed some tears but because it was so real. I had to put my big girl undies on and take it! I had to listen and receive this word that I’am living right now! What hit home when TG said most singles are single because of themselves. TG speak on it! Speak 🗣 on it, Ladies it’s so many jewel’s in this! THANK YOU TG! Blessing to you and the Queen! 🙏🏾☀️
Im so tired of hearing about the standard of 6 ft + and earning 6 figures and having a 6 pack. I've been called pretty my whole life but I don't care about any of that. I just want a good man. I have a relationship with God, active in the church, started tithing, don't drink/smoke/fornicate/watch p**n... Im teaching myself another language, I have a decent job (teacher). Im introverted but trying my best to be approachable. I dress classy (usually dresses). Im 33. Im running out of things to do and Im exhausted.
I find that time spent alone on my knees in deep prayer every day literally keeps me sane. I told God to keep all jokers away from me and bring only the one right person my way. I have also done all that Tony says to do, and I'm prayed up, so the ball is now with God. Meanwhile, I am going 'bout my business, focusing on investing for my retirement should I never get married (flipping houses is a favourite, baking, writing articles, private tutoring etc). It also gives me great joy to give, e.g. I get meal vouchers and distribute them to random people on the streets who need them or I'll buy some packed meals and hand them out, or simply buy an assortment of stuff that the homeless may need from a supermaket (soap, milk, bread, water, etc) and put them in small packages to hand out. Gives me immense joy to help someone, even if just for one meal as I tell them that Jesus loves them.
@@cateyes2103 I also happen to be a teacher, introverted, learning a new language as well, in my mid 30s too so I appreciate much of what you may be feeling. God has us, no matter what happens.
I used to dislike being short (5”1 and a 1/2). But listening to these videos over the years has made me appreciate being petite so height was never really a big deal to me because all guys are taller than me lol. I didn’t even realize women went so hard behind that detail.
See, when you’re 5’10 and 6’1 in heels like I am, height matters a little more🥴 Lol(No shade to your height btw) I’m now willing to date my height and above, but it took a long time to get to that point. I realized that if I meet a man that truly loves me and has everything I’m looking for, I’ll be willing to overlook height. i don’t think I’ll go no lower than 5’9 frfr
@@marshaebradbury6444 Im 5'8'' and I learned years ago that sometimes great things come in small packages. Those tall Men who are 6'2 and up be thinking that they are God's gift to the world (regardless of what they actually look like lol). But yeah 5'10 is very tall so I feel you.
Yep. Don't be under any illusions most men prefer petite women. Probably more then ever due to women having unreasonable height standards. But tallness is only attractive to women. Not to men. Look at models for example. They are tall, very thin, flat chested and have a flat ass and often androgynous looking. I've never met a dude who was ever into one yet many women believe they need to look like them. Also tbh i think face matters more then height in attraction. A 5'10 average looking woman can't afford to be picky. And a 5'7 attractive man is in no way less attractive then a woman who is taller then him by default, as face is number 1 in terms of attraction. I do not understand women who are already tall walking around in 6 inch high heels and complaining no other man is taller then her. Just wear 1 or 2 inch heels. Why eliminate most men for being shorter then you in heels? When in reality he is actually taller than you barefoot.
This video made me take a good long look in the mirror and be honest with myself. Fear of rejection and past trauma is why I am single. Loneliness feels better than pain and trauma.
The negative stereotype of attractive women and men is very unfair. This is their God given face/eyes/lips/body yet people are scrutinizing them for what they were born with. I personally have been labeled pretty and beautiful for the most part of my life but I've never had doors handed to me. I have never made a list of what I want like many women do which to each its own. Attractive women /men main issue is the very thing they get hated on. You get people that see you as candy to look at and to display but don't want to know you personally/internally. I never thought as I become 30 there will be SO MANY RULES AND STIPULATIONS of dating to be married. I literarily feel great being single right now.
Love your reactions of how people act when their in their feelings. Keep doing your thing my brother. You always spot on. Even if the lesson may sting a little. Some of us need someone to tell it like it is. Appreciate you !!!!
i feel really good about being attractive, but in a sense it’s not that great when people assume things about you before they even get to know you! also, you might like a person for who they are and they will reject you because they don’t feel worthy of you. also, when you get a boyfriend he will barely compliment you because he doesn’t want you to get “big headed” lol
As a slow starter in dating, I realized my values were stronger but what guys portrayed was confusing. I did not experience dating boys in HS because I was looking for an outlet to accomplish my goals. My desire to become educated was my main focus. My first relationship happened at 24. I experience a powerful connection with this man. My boyfriend at the time was a hard worker . He was decent looking but I overlooked that only because he said and did the right things to know that I was his. At the time, I was a college student. I was very active and outgoing. To most, I was very attractive to other men and this made my boyfriend furious. I did not see this as a red flag and did not know that his insecurities would cause our relationship to fail. I never knew what insecurity looked until then. This relationship did not make any sense because we wanted different things. I thought I share an experience. Thank you.
i'm single because i want a man who can support me in the life i want to give myself. i will create that life with or without a man. i want a man but there are BOYS out here, not MEN.
Real talk- this was a really good conversation. This is the first time I tuned into this channel. I am honestly saying I didn't know who Tony Gaskins is/was, but this conversation is literally a conversation that I have had with myself and my inner -circle so many times. It is hurtful to hear, but absolutely necessary to speak on. I will definitely tune into this channel again.
Tony is describing an attractive woman, but one who is naive and stupid. I was that very attractive woman, and, if you are intelligent, you figure out pretty quickly from all the experience of get from these men, that most men treat you like crap. Particularly the posturing ones. I've dated less attractive men, poor men, fat men, bald men, etc, because I look for personality. Looks mean shit. I am married. I know women like those you describe, and yes they are still single in their 40s, they have a bucket list with looks and money requirements, but they are also foolish, and not all attractive women are.
You are so right Tony. I have watched so many male life and dating coaches, from that "Toxic" one, to the christian ones, you all say the same thing about beauty and what men look for in a woman. From what I see, most love a natural beauty.
I appreciate your knowledge and the way you break each Scenario down it has given Me different things to look At and evaluate why men are Interested in different women And what to look for in dating What a awesome lesson
I must say Tony, you are extremely conscious of your words when delivering a sensitive message. I find that super praiseworthy! Not to mention, I love the humor you throw in every now and then! Lol
We´ve been needing this video for so long already! I was getting a bit confused this past months. Thank you Tony and thank you Lord to keep Tony going. 😇
T. Gaskins what a word that needed to be delivered 🙌 you stepped on my toes a couple of times, but I receive it and needed to hear it! Thanks for all that you do! God bless!
I'm single cause I can't imagine being with someone for the rest of my life without being so bored of them and wanting to escape. Anyone else deal with this? Even with friends I just wanna leave and be alone. I really like my freedom and don't like adapting to what other ppl want to do..it's just tiring ..I'd rather do what I want to do in my own company.
Thank you Tony. I'm definitely listening. I'm working out and losing weight because I refuse to settle. I want to be at a healthy weight for me that I feel comfortable at and I want a man that wants to go to the gym and try healthy foods as well. I've worked alot with my personality flaws. Like being a know it all. Interrupting when another person is talking and going from one conversation to another before actually finishing the last one off. You've mentioned that comes from not getting out and being stuck in the house to your own thoughts so when you get the chance to talk you are very overwhelming to the person you are speaking with. I see woman already in the comments with these character flaws. Men can call you beautiful all day and date you but "ARE YOU THE PRIZE" Like the title of one of your videos. I'm doing what I can today while I'm working on my tomorrow. I also donated ALL my clothes and started an up to date capsule wardrobe. I noticed me and my grandma's clothes were about the same in style and people kept thinking I was in my 40s. I just turned 34. So now I get the wear you going looking cute and men turning the heads to look back as a pass by.. I usually put my head down(still working on confidence and eye contact) Listening to understand is what a mature woman does. But I've noticed alot of women listen to find a flaw so they can say you are not talking about them (the beg to differ spirit lol) or to get fake offended so they can turn off the rest of the message. Like you have said people will go more towards working on their strengths and wonder why they are not getting strong in their weaknesses. Thanks for this video. I will be relistening to it
Well done 👍🏽. Keep up with the growth. Yes, it takes maturity to look outside of yourself when receiving criticism and not getting offended over everything.
I hope this message blessed everyone love your content Tony n Mrs Gaston you Rock hugs to the beautiful children many more blessings in this new year amen 🙏🙌.
Im listening Tony. And I can absolutely own that. Im still working on becoming the best version of myself. If I was to be in a relationship today I wouldn’t be operating from my best self. Get the knowledge ladies! Its okay NOT to settle, it’s okay to need to talk to someone, it’s okay to question yourself. But be intentional and lets hold ourselves accountable
Great video Mr. Gaskins! When we are tired of being single we also have to learn to create a space for the person we want. Independent women/men become tooo independent. 🌹
Okay, I totally agree! Would like to share my story. I am an average looking woman, and take care of myself. I have been a group fitness instructor for over 30 years, and am a former body building competitor. Yes! The men I dated back in the day that were per say... good "Eye Candy" never measured up. I didn't waste too much time with these types of guys. " FIRST red flag, " my track shoes were always nearby lol! 😅. I decided to do as you mentioned in this video, and dated a man that was kind, thoughtful respectful and of great character. He didn't make much money and that didn't matter to me. We were very young. He was such a gentleman and I fell in love with his chearther. We got married after 2 years of dating.( we were in our late 20's.) Was married for 18 years. He later got a job making 6 figures and he was a great provider. I truly loved him. We had 2 children. Our first has exceptional needs and considered a total care. Now here comes the truth after all this time that I found out years later. 1. I was not his preference. (I Didn't have a college degree) and he thought I was uneducated. He was extremely smart and degreed up. I believe I fell in love with the representative. 2. He was a mamma's boy and I often had to compete with her. His parents attended every vacation, and I was often the butt of their jokes. He was also an insecure man. I didn't know who I was because I was so young and was in love with the thought of being pursued as a catch and being married. I have owned my faults and truth in all of this. 3. Having a special needs child that required 24 hour care was a strain on our marriage. Therefore, I started my own fitness business for 6 years, training children in fitness to help financially and my mental health. It was very successful. However, I didn't get much of his support from him. 4. It became harder to be attracted to him later in the marriage, after years of passive aggressive behavior, punishments such as neglec helping with the children after arguments. I would have to get permission to buy groceries and necessities as I didn't have access to the budget. He wanted me go back to school to do real estate, and or become a nurse to have a job title. That was hard, because we would have to pay someone at least $20 an hour, 8/10 hours a day to care for our child. I had come to the realization, that I was married to a "Grown Boy. I prayed all the time and fought for the marriage/ went to canceling and everything! I worked on myself to be the best wife I could be but when you are not a preference, don't meet their expectations, and as a result of the mental emotional a*****, I filled for divorce. It has been over 7 years now. He remarried 2 years after our divorce. (Yes, she has a title.) Your videos have helped me heal on multiple levels! Thank you! I am happy and still desire to be married again. I am 56 years old I still teach fitness, as it is a gift from The Most High, to pour positive energy into others during their weight loss/fitness journeys. I currently train officers and supervisors that work for the government. I believe in my heart that The Most High has someone in store for me. Meanwhile, I am humbled, and stand in my truth and peace. I have learned so much about myself, always putting in the work wanting to be righteous in the the eyes of the Most High God! To him be the glory for my life, your platform Tony, and all you do for our community. May Peace, prosperity and joy continue to bless you and your family. 👏🏿🙏🏾😊
I am literally shocked at reading number one given the narrative that's being pushed out here about men not caring if you have a degree or not. Truly lost for words .
Great video Tony, and this totally makes sense. Working on the 3 B's consistently so I can attract what I want. I would love a continuation of the Single & Ready series...I have no idea where to find eligible singles.
I understand. I agree. I am a plus size women.i know not to go after a fit man until I take my health care with discipline. I'm 5ft. I no longer want a 6ft man. As long as your taller than me at least 2 inches I'm good.
All I can say is I’m super grateful for this video! This is pure gold and 100% the truth thank you for being straight up and giving us a man’s truthful perspective.
Stay single as long as you can! We’re living in critical times, hard to deal with…the last days! It’s not worth the energy, time, or money. Love 💕 yourself and appreciate who you are becoming. Get a circle ⭕️ of friends you can relate to.
Tony messages always open my eyes to new ways when looking at relationships. But Tony do you recommend more women to be SAHM in order for marriage to truly work? Or at least women who don’t over work themselves in a job if their goal is to have their dream man (outside of looks, height etc) I always was desired by men but they only offered me good looks. I do want a certain type of man for marriage but I also know to be realistic when dating. I noticed you normally never see a good looking couple together because it’s much deeper than “looks”.
This was on point!!! And totally right on time from what I'm going through at this present time. And you are all the way right. Ty for being completely honest! Ty!!🔥😊
This message made me stop and listen. For me this is the most valuable insight that I have personally been able to receive and apply to my own life. There are so many key takeaways. Like he said, some will get what he is "not" saying and read in-between the lines. This answered life long questions that I have been seeking answers since I was a child to the 33 years of age I am right now. I learned so much - from the way I view myself; my perceptions vs realities; personal dating experiences; and why I stay in relationships too long that no longer serve me. Thank you, Tony Gaskins, for your wisdom, insight, discernment, and obedience to God's instructions for your life.
LADIES: Listen to Tony! I followed his "How to Date Correctly" video (the one where he has on a white tee. He recorded it about a year ago, fyi) EXACTLY and it helped me enter into a healthy, loving, progressing relationship. Listen to Tony! Especially if it hurts your feelings!! Ask yourself why it struck a nerve and work on whatever that is lol
Thanks will check it out.
It’s a great video! Very helpful.
Going to listen!
Will check it out
Will check it out
I actually believe it is much easier for average looking people to find good relationships than highly attractive people. People put too many bad stereotypes and assumptions on attractive men and women before they even get to know them. Attractive men are seen as players and beautiful women are seen as gold diggers and users.
I think it's because as Tony said, the top tier men and women who are well-rounded in terms of looks, character, education can afford to be more picky.
I agree with you its now become trendy to dog attractive people out with the same tired stereotypes and its not right to do that - attractive people have feelings too -
💯💯💯 I seen a guy post he was told growing up never to get married to a very pretty woman..that had me feel some type of way ..ppl are being groomed as children to pass up their blessings
I always wondered why I see many "plain janes" of various races and their husband can't keep their hands off of them. The women who are dolled up are single.
So true
All I can say as a single woman is it’s HARD OUT HERE! The dynamic of the female/male connection have shifted in a way where it’s frightening. Discernment is a must now more than ever. Vetting and patience is a must. My faith in God keeps me hopeful. I’m just gonna keep working on me.
On point with the shift something different going on between men wemon relationship I never knew that it would end up like this I pray for healthy marriages but in these time but is it over
Very simple: Date older or Date out
Attractiveness, really is a matter of money... if youre single, its only because the men in ur environment cant afford to holla at you.
It's so hard and have been working on me. I live in a small town and online dating is about the only option and he says not to. I'm still praying for the one so hard in 40's
True
Completely agree sis! These single streets are not for the faint of heart!!
This is just too complicated…it’s a lot of men walking around thinking they are a catch but not through the eyes of a woman.
Amen!
It is a mess and draining.. why should it be this hard? Why are men the prize and women a dime a dozen and losing value to men by the min. Too many women out here striving to be perfect and yet men will try to just use and abuse.. the rejection, the trials and heartbreak make me think I would be better off just having peace.
@@reginayfavors Yes to all you said! 😟
@@mitz1919 Yes to all you said! It will wear you out!! 😩 I need my peace to live a healthy life.
💯💯💯
I am considered a pretty attractive woman and this is what I have found. I have dated nice guys, bad boys, fine men, ugly men, skinny men, fat men, tall men, short men, men I was attracted to, and men that I wasn't attracted to. I have found that they have all cheated on me or been disrespectful in some way. I used to be thin, now I'm plus sized. The treatment actually got slightly better with more weight on me. At this point, I'm in my 40s, I take every man with a grain of salt. I have found that a lot of men approach me, but it is in a lustful way. I have also found that these guys tend to commit to more "average looking" woman. I have also found that my friends that are considered "average" are more likely to get into relationships. I have also found that most of the women I know who are in committed relationships have settled in some way. At this point, I just focus on living my best life.
I noticed the same. I was just at my bro's wedding shower and all his friends' girlfriends and wives are average looking. And everyone compliments me on how I look and how I dress all the time but everytime I go to any event Im always the single one. I also attract the guys that go out of their way to approach me but dont want a relationship. Im like why wouldnt you want a relationship with me but you so call say I have all of these good qualities you want in a woman. Make it make sense.
@@PCF09 I forgot to add that my average looking fat ex husband cheated on me with an below average looking woman with a bald head. Make that make sense. I’m focusing on enjoying my single life. 🤷🏽♀️
Omg this is so true!!! Men/boys straight up tell me they don’t trust “pretty” girls. Have y’all ever heard them say “I don’t want a pretty girl too many men will want her, she can’t turn them all down”
Also they will try to humble you if you’re pretty
@@MulattoArchive I have never heard that, but now that makes sense. I have had a man tell me that he would need a miracle to have a chance with me because I probably have a lot of guys after me. I also had a man tell me when he was dumping me that he didn’t think that I would be single much longer after. It’s been ten months since he dumped me and I’m still single with no prospects. 🤷🏽♀️
@@PCF09 ME TOO!!!!! Let me tell you how many men that are already in relationships and marriages that approach me. The single men are scared, they feel more comfortable with someone average and lust after us on the side.
Attractive women usually have a lot of men who only go after them for sex. And when that happens often, she has to have discernment. It is not flattering when a man doesn’t take you very seriously cause they simply see you as a piece of meat or a “fun time”. I’m now super cautious with a man’s intent. There is no shortage of them who just wants a little fun at your expense. Believe that.
This is spot on!
This doesn't apply to ONLY attractive women. Whether a man finds you attractive or not, he will still try to sleep with you. Period.
@@2cut32handle for some men, as long as you have a pulse, you’re good 👍 they will take what they can get
Absolutely
This
A woman told me when I was a teenager to have a boyfriend that was unattractive so I would not have problems with other girls wanting my boyfriend. I have learned that the unattractive men are disrespectful as well, it's the personality of a person that makes a person attractive, some men that are very attractive can have a ugly personality because they are conceited because women cater to them because they look good, they never make them accountable for their bad behavior
Ugly men still cheat
I dated a whole frog cause I thought he’d be different. Lol. Turned out to be a old azz, lovebombing, psychotic, covert narcissist.
You are speaking the truth, I admit when I was younger, I honestly thought that ugly men would treat me better, but it turns out that that wasn't the case at all. I spoke to a few and they all were extremely disrespectful. I'm not doing that again.
I learned that the hard way. I'm not picky and always dated a touch of ugly but my last ex was downright hideous. His coworkers thought he paid me to date him. Anyways I'm very attractive but I get embarrassed by my looks because I was always the ugly duckling.
This short, big head, bald ugly man had the audacity to hide me online, cheat on me and compete with me. Even when I had cancer and he did nothing to help except shave my head, he would try to steal my thunder when people complimented me on my bald head. Never again will I date an ugly short man.
Same experience. I think they are jealous that we are attractive and take their anger and hurt out on us.
To be beautiful and naive is the worst combo for woman
Yes....you will get drug thru the mud....smh😵😵😵
I’m living proof lol
Yes!!
Amen 🙏 😢… because we just go into the wolves 🐺 😿
Yes! That was me smh
At this point just wait on God! Singleness is not a disease no matter how old you are!!! People like who they like and we should be so focused on trying to get into heaven because we are in the last days!!! Your soul should be in order 🤷🏾♀️
Best comment of the day🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Amen!
@@mymakersdaughter6041 thank you 🙏🏾
Thank you!!! Sheesh ...
Amen sista!
Why are 99% of TH-cam videos about how women need to lower their standards but never for the man to lower his standards? Or come up to financially meet her where she is?
💯 it sounds like a running theme to make women accept the bare minimum from men because we are supposed to feel desperate and afraid that there aren't enough men for us so if we don't accept the foolishness we will die alone. 🙄
Although the content that encourages women to lower their standards is trash, it's likely because in reality, women don't offer that much. A man has to come to the table from the jump being able to protect, to provide, to lead, to be the man in all things. All a woman has to do is follow and look pretty. Yes women have many burdens in dating, but men have a hell of a time because we have tangible things we need to offer that take years and years to develop. If you're a man in his prime why would you lower your standards? Even as a broke man you still have the burden of provision and protection. There will always be more pressure on the man no matter his looks or financial status.
@@mr.bbl-buster lets be real alot of men bring nothing to the table and dont see anything wrong with it. A dude that has the bare necessities such his own place, vehicle, and job thinks he should have any woman n treat her life trash. Not over here
@@tashahall1855right majority of men haven’t worked on themselves nor do they understand what women truly need and then they get confused when the sex dries up in marriage. The women stop bothering being a sex object and either go numb or seek that emotional fulfillment elsewhere.
When you're attractive these men just want to do you, happens to me constantly 😓
Same,I remember a guy who I thought was really cool and a friend,told me that men won't take me serious cause I was too pretty and they think that pretty women are wild, mind you!!him and his gf was not attractive but yet still he wanted to do me!!!I was so confused and upset.
@@prettyangelm9086 Yes we get objectified all the time and people don't want to talk about that aspect of it. Not a good feeling in the least 😕
Men cheat with beautiful women, but usually marry average looking. Most men have too low self esteem to marry a beautiful woman. They want the feeling of knowing he can leave ,not her.
@@tcs1351 You hit the nail on the head, nothing but FACTS! 💯🎯‼️
Exactly! And some lack the confidence to be in a relationship with an attractive woman because some men suffer with low self esteem. They think pretty women are stuck up and they pre-judge us, but when you see what they are in a relationship with it is surprising.
I know my husband was sent straight from God. He didn’t check all the boxes when it came to “preference” when we met, in fact I thought he was a square. Was the best decision I have ever made! Don’t be tricked by preference ladies, you may miss out on a blessing!
💜💜
❤
you at least found him attractive though?
the problem with the world is so many people have issues stemming from childhood that needs to be addressed - before they start dating. Folks are superficial, ungrateful, ignorant, heartless, hurt, and arrogant. Instead of being stable, good, sensible, humble, more appreciative and open. There are both single men & women in the comments that can find mates if they "thought outside of the box" & worked on themselves 1st. Yes, I said it. Women will spend $hundreds of dollar doing hair, makeup nails, (on the outside) yet won't go to counseling and ( send $1) to fix what's going on in the inside. Change and compromise is necessary. Focus on that instead of thinking others should change. Start by changing yourself. Real talk!
Agree. We live in a "me" versus "we" society.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Absolutely!!!!!
♥️
✊
Basically beautiful/pretty women have options and alot of men are insecure. So no it's easier to be with a average woman who will settle for them and never leave. It's all about security. Beautiful women are hard work and guys are lazy lol.
Beautiful women r not hard work but have standards and expectations..some do anyway
@@evka24 Exactly!
@@evka24 yes l was called demanding for having a standard when it's normal 🤣🕊️❤️
Facts lol
That’s what you got from this??? He is literally talking about shallowness. He is literally saying a man could be the best person in the world to you but because society has said you are gorgeous you look down on others.
Date on your level. Be realistic on expectations. Take a deeper look at yourself. Check your preferences vs. standards. Look at face value not fantasy. I’m going to have to watch this again. This was a great message. It requires a rewatch.
Yep! ❤
Yesssss !!!! 👏🏽
I have dated on off and in between my level… So come again with that one. I am DONE ✅
Women should date UP
This means nothing 😂 cause most men who are attractive and is stable never date on they level .
The problem is that it’s hard to find a man with good character. They all want to hook up so we have no other choice but to be selective so we won’t get hurt!!!!
the problem is your not going for the guys who have good character your constantly choosing trash guys who just want to hook up smh
Exactly, beautiful women must marry successful confident men OR be single
@@paulo7507 You’re*
@@paulo7507 No, the trash guys are attracted to *us* so we have to self-protect, and the nice guys don’t go any deeper than superficial chat that lets them know we like them, because they think we’ll cheat on them 🤦🏼♀️ They’d rather take the ego boost of mutual attraction, and run…🤣
@@paulo7507 This is true because men lie and I cannot tell. That’s why I’m trying to listen to all these online videos💖
When you go searching for love, they seem nowhere to be found, but when you don't, they come into your life at the perfect time.
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Always and it’s the person you overlook or didn’t expect
I’m single because I’m a socially awkward introvert. I meet men all the time but I always manage to say the wrong thing or put my foot in my mouth. I also don’t get out much. I’m trying to get out more and meet more people. I feel awkward going to things by myself but I’m getting used to it.
me too. im decent looking but i had traumas that made me reclusive and i attracted jerks when i did meet guys who were interested, which is not many. because i didnt put my self out there. also cuz of my autism. but God gave me a few options which i turned down. and i got turned down by guys i wanted to be with. i also dont work and dont do enough to self love and so the last guy i was with who was poor and didnt have a job himself just a pension and volunteered so kinda saw me as a do-nothing and criticized me and also used me as i dont "do enough" in my life even for a poor guys standards :/
I used to be but God grew me out of it to some extent because He’s called me to ministry- you can get more comfortable with people by just asking somebody a question to start a conversation- it works most people respond and it helps to ask something about what they’re wearing or if you’re standing in line where they work or something like that
@Chantel Waters - Yes!!! The nicer a man looks the more likely I am to want to run in the opposite direction. It’s weird because I’m confident in every other area but when it comes to men….. It’s a process.
Try attending a Toast Master's class. I think it will help a lot.
@@poeticlovee - That’s a great idea. I will do that. Thank you!!
If a man can dehumanize and disrespect a woman based on her appearance he’s not worth anything anyways. No character or morals.
A lot of attractive people are lovers of themselves and the world and you can’t be that and seek the kingdom and love God first, we’re just a vessel on earth. Solid relationships and marriages are like a braid=three strains (Man/God/women), a two strain twist (just man/women and no God) will always unravel. A braid locks a man’s has to lead in love but they have to be equally yolked spiritually, but attractive people that are humble and seek wisdom from God are the unicorns and set apart of this earth.
Very wise words and a great analogy, will definitely have to use this.
“The prettiest people do the ugliest things.”
Amazing! For man to talk like this it's absolutely amazing.
Absolutely correct!
❤
I was 5’-11” before I broke my neck. My husband was 4” shorter than me. I’ve never cared much for men’s looks or height, and I just wanted him to have a decent job. But that still didn’t get me a good man. One of the reasons women’s preferences get so high as they get older is, because we didn’t care about superficial things when we were young, and we got dogged out anyway. If I’m gonna get dogged out, he’d better at least be hot. All men are acting like players these days, so what’s the point in giving any subpar man a chance when he’s just gonna act like the rich model guy, too?
Exactly
So was your husband a good man?
Exactlyyyyyy
Maybe it's ur energy? I can feel it through the phone...there are good men out here.
This. Lol it gets on my nerves when ppl act like broke or below average looking are gentlemen. Some will play the same games as rich pretty boys
Proverb 27:20 -- Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.
Preach! I love Proverbs!
Wow
See....😳
It's different when he is submitted to CHRIST..
I think you should be a little more honest and state that when these black men begin to make more money or reach a certain level of status, they will then pursue a lighter skinned or white woman.
I just watched a woman dismiss a nuclear physicist in under 3 mins because he's "boring" so lets admit to both sides of the problem.
@@OriginalOrigins okay
That is simply not true. There are too many examples of Black men who date dark skinned women and if that is the case for "some men" who have a preference for light skinned women, then don't be concerned nor bothered about that. Some men and women have or had this preference because of Westernized societal preference. Many are walking around in a bubble.
That is simply not true. There are too many examples of Black men who date dark skinned women and if that is the case for "some men" who have a preference for light skinned women, then don't be concerned nor bothered about that. Some men and women have or had this preference because of Westernized societal preference. Many are walking around in a bubble.
@@jamiehastings9239 okay.
I'm an introvert, shy & definitely don't approach men, which in this day & time, my friends think I'm too old fashioned.
I live in Biloxi, MS & inspite of going to the beach, out to lunch/dinner, movies, shopping, men do not approach me. I smile & look pleasant but still nothing. It has been this way for 8.5yrs.
The only thing I can think of is God is protecting & preserving me for whom he has specifically designed for me.
Nowadays, men seem to have grown accustomed to women being more aggressive and willing to chase them. SMH
@@dii-N-sd 💯 Facts
You got to go out for activities not dinner. When last did you get a stylist?? You need activities
@@munix9351 She mentioned activities.
Plan some trips, if you're capable, short weekend getaways to neighborhood states when there are events happening...new surroundings, new people, new opportunities 😊
Many people considered attractive are also often treated with hostility by men and women. But especially women.
People also sometimes act as if the pretty/beautiful woman is going to be nasty. I found most beautiful people I know are extremely kind…and sometimes even more kind than usual because of the expectation that she or he is nasty.
Some of my beautiful friends are often attacked if they are in the vicinity of a jealous person when someone compliments. It is sometimes a vicious and debilitating experience for the attractive person.
Believe it or not there are some people who don’t know, sincerely don’t know how beautiful they are because they were raised to believe beauty is vain. Which it can be
Ditto. I was raised in a Domestic Violence home. And I would see and hear the father talk down on women.
I never knew I was one. Till later on in life. I was isolated and made to be felt no one cared about me or not worth looking at. Even if my friends would say I had nice skin or a body.
Yes, even at work I would get dirty looks from women. I dress very conservative at work. There were a few times some women tried to get me fired for no reason.
At 2 other employers the Manager or higher up would make up stuff to get me fired but I have always learned to keep a log of what I do. Anyways..I do get jealousy from my own father, female coworkers and an x husband.
I Pray that God bring me a Godly man.
Blessings.
I agree!!
Yes, I totally agree with what you said.
what?
@@tjaspire Yes and don't talk about your personal life either or at least within ears reach. They will try anything against you.
My intuition told me to change departments and at the end God was still there for me. They got let go cuz the new dept they needed me and the one they were in got eliminated.
Even once they tried to get me in trouble for wearing a spaghetti strap under another blouse. Like I said I dress conservative and classy for many reasons.
Blessings(":
As an attractive person I can admit people instantly judge me and don’t even try putting effort into me cause they think I’m a player. But some attractive people truly are hallow. They have nothing but their looks so they have never had to develop their personality. I’ve noticed this especially with people that have been attractive their whole life.
same.. everyone says i'm so pretty but seriously it's not even about looks for me, i just want men to be men.
@@PS-hi9os Yes Masculine men that I can feel Protected by them.
… & women treat you completely differently if you have a lil looks on you, have confidence & men fall over you.
I became aware of this when I was 36 years old. Girls would always come down hard on me & I never understood why, & a particular event at that age made me realise women expect me to over extend myself being nice.
I am introverted & quietly confident, combined with being somewhat attractive, which makes women read me as “thinking I’m all that” when I’m just out here tryna live my life. 🤣 You are expected to work harder to prove yourself as likeable, otherwise women think you’re stuck up & every negative adjective under the sun.
@@yanikeonpurpose ya but when a person really secure in themselves they are genuinely happy for others and they don’t get intimidated by another person shining. They know how to clap for others. So, There’s really nothing you should feel like you have to prove to anyone cause the right people will be more than happy to uplift you.
You’re so right. I was a later bloomer so early on I developed my personality and humor. Then I grew to modern day standard attractive. But people look at me and judge me solely on looks and I’m like I’m actually not spoilt or thick or ignorant or a player.
I’m classed as an attractive women. Not by my own standards or inflated self esteem as I don’t have any, but by what I’m told , peoples reactions to me, strangers telling me in the street etc. people think you have it made as you’re attractive and it’s not true. I’be dated many men and they see me only as eye candy. They don’t care about anything else. I’ve literally said to men, you treat me like I should sit there and just look pretty. It breaks my heart. I’m
Also intelligent, funny, grounded, empathetic, creative, artistic, and so much more. But all that doesn’t matter. Men tend to come and treat me mean to keep me keen. They will go out of there way too put me down and assert themselves… and there is no need at all. Some have even said “if I boost you and give you wings you’ll fly away” . They keep me at arms length as they fear someone worse will come and turn my head as they feel they don’t deserve me- when I’ve deemed they do. They don’t have to earn thousands or be a Greek god. I liked them as I’ve connected with them on some level. My list is base level at this point. I’ve no where else to go… and let me tell you, the lower the level the worse they treat me! Fact! I don’t look for supreme or above average earnings, I’m looking for consistency, effort, connection and love.
I have been having this issue for a while even when I was with my children 's father he says I look like a player. I have been getting men who either want sex or get some money.
I have been going through exactly the same thing that you are describing. It is really difficult dating and meeting people that will see past the exterior. Hoping you find a man of character who will brings you value.
Well this is new.. don't think there's many women like that, that I have ever spoken to. I've given up on tryna meet women for pretty much the same reasons. Money and all that shit is dumb and so is all the texting games or tryna keep someone on their toes coz they only find you attractive and that's it.. its draining, if people aren't gonna connect on a soul level or genuinely plan a future with you then they're not worth a dime.
I listened but I thought this was going to be about why attractive people just flat out are not approached. There are many attractive people who have good personalities and are not spoiled, but are still single.
FACTS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
🙋🏼♀️ Yup!
THIS
me lol
Nowadays, it just seems like some men want the extra glamorous woman..they say they don't but when it's a more natural looking woman in their presence, they tend to focus on the other type..I've seen this happen too many times..and when I say natural meaning straightened hair too..very lite makeup opposed to the woman wearing the latest style wigs and makeup like they've just left a photo shoot or runway..I'm not knocking at all..just stating when I've observed for awhile now. It's like men actually want you to be apart of the joneses.
Definitely took notes being a single 26 years old woman and it makes a lot of sense thank you for the pointers uncle Tony I will apply these moving forward 🎯 the what do you desire is where I am .
That is not old
Certain men will treat women like exotic dancers even if we have natural bodies. No butt injections or boob jobs, 9-5, domesticated and still somehow want us to be stripperish 😆
Exactly
This was such a real conversation! We have to look in the mirror and check ourselves! Sometimes We are the reason why we can’t get what we want in life.
You’re gorgeous
@@gcode305 thank you!
Amen
@@breannn you’re welcome
My man makes over six figures (I do as well) and is well over 6ft. Owns property. Doesn’t care if I work, but prefers a woman who will be very involved with the children, like you mentioned in the video. He said some ex dumped him years ago because he didn’t have a six pack? He is built like a burly football player, so definitely still in shape. To that woman, I say thank you. There are tons of single women still out there because they want the whole superficial list and are not looking at deeper qualities like is the man a good person, attractive to you, financially responsible? I was a late bloomer, so didn’t start getting attention until maybe two years ago, but my standards have remained the same God-fearing, responsible, tall, never married, no kids, good career, good person. A receding hairline can be covered up with a good haircut by the way, lol.
What age group are you in? I started dating in 1984. I was married for over 20 years, and all my children are grown. Im considered attractive, have good career house cars, etc, and over the years, I have seen it all. It's all on a case by case basis. There is no secret strategy for dating, especially with the new generation of shallow people. I think the real problem is just finding a person who meets our standards physically and psychologically and with whom you are able to form a bond.
Tony is going to speak that truth no matter what. Real talk. We gotta look at ourselves and see if we need improvement to attract what we want.
I agree totally
Being pretty can put you in very dangerous situations. I understand why some cultures choose the daughters husband. 😴
💯 yes. Self-protection is something I learned early on.
@@mysticjen379 yes! I stay to myself
I'm definitely the reason why I'm single. I passed up on alot of decent guys who wanted to build with me because of my preferences. I appreciate this video definitely gonna apply what I've learned here.
**Rolls eyes** Had to speed this up 1.5x to even get thru this. Lol smh.
He's saying 'Pretty/beautiful' is going to be ultra selective. OK then I would want to ask, explain 'Very NOT attractive ' men being equally as selective? Lol 😆 😆
Saying THIS MESS, is why alot of men 'assume' attractive wmn are ultra picky, WHEN most of us are not. So what happens is, the avg guy will think the 'attractive' wmn, wouldnt even want him, so he comes thru with HALF ASSED EFFORT. And THAT'S the sh*t that turns alot of wmn off... and why alot of 'attractive' wmn are single.
Alot of these guys are very lazy in making the effort to geniunely get to know 'attractive' wmn and learn what SHE NEEDS emotionally frm a man.
The very simple answer, if youre an attractive wmn and you're struggling to find a man, either date out or date older, because usually, the men in your immediate circle just simple cant afford you. **shrugs** Sorry, to say it, but this worked for me. lol 😆 😆 lol 😆 😆
Tony I lowered my standards--People kept telling me I could do better--Dated a brother receiving disability due to heart condition***the brother went up about three levels while with me**then he started cheating within three years--I felt like I cleaned him up for the next woman
So, I decided to walk out of his life***No REGRETS!
Omg....want they do that ughhh ...got the nerve 😵
Yep…last guy I dated, I settled to give a guy a chance and he was the worse once he thought he had me. I will never settle again. You just got to choose men based on their actions and how they treat you…over time…cause looks and money, good or bad, are not good indicators of character.
Sorry to hear that sis, karma is a bitch and it's going to catch up to him, can I ask if you can share what were some of the things you did to help clean him up
or move him up levels so that we as women can pay attention to only do those things once we're sure of the man? Because I'm guilty of what you described as well, thank you
@@lanam1636 I scheduled dentist appointments for extractions of rotten teeth that was causing bad breath--BUT didn't pay for the work that had to be done***Driver license had expired due to unlawful issues**I went to DMV website and found a practice test he could utilize to help him obtain his driver's license**he passed on first attempt 😀
Scheduled all medical appointments and went in Dr's appointments with him as finance so I would make sure he didn't have any STD's etc.--BUT I didn't pay for medical appointment visits--After receiving Disability settlement he NEVER filled up my gas tank--He had purchased an old model truck--got better gas mileage driving my car when we went out-of-town. Then one day he asked me to co-sign for a car---I told him No--told him he was financially capable of paying cash for the car if not ask his Dad to co-sign**I was in my fifties at the time--So I had lived long enough to know not to co-sign! I knew he was trying to take advantage of me after that incident. He helped me with household issues, etc. I couldn't prove it**BUT I knew he was cheating on me. So-I ended the relationship.
Wow one thing I learned is don’t date out your league, only for that reason when us women date down we get played and used and broken down so he can bring you to his Level only to control you, it’s all about control period
Just because people find someone beautiful it doesn’t mean the person sees their self as beautiful.
I am told almost daily that I’m pretty or beautiful or have a pleasing face but the catch is I had a stepfather that told me I was ugly as a joke from age 10-14. After being told you’re ugly repeatedly (even as a joke) you start to believe that it must be true. I’m now 52 and notice more attention than in my whole youth. I now look back and realize I was catered to but I didn’t see. I was so insecure that every compliment was bs. I was jealous of pretty women so I couldn’t be one of them.
Until 4 years ago I believed men looked away when I looked at them because they found me unattractive. Now I know it’s because I’ve caught them looking at me.
Again, just because other people find someone attractive doesn’t mean the person finds their self attractive.
I’m single and I am still chased by men from the age of 22 to 72. I avoided dating really good looking men all of my life because of the fear of losing them. I’ve mostly dated men I’m not attracted to physically and usually end the relationship’s because sex with someone you are not attracted to is torture. There have been a few men that I was initially attracted to that I ended up falling for and they were players/cheaters. For that reason I’ve decided I will only date men I’m physically attracted to. It’s still hard to choose a man when there are so many. Now I look for men that go out of their way to get my attention and the men that are a little nervous to speak to me. I find that when a man is nervous it’s usually because he cares to win me over.
What you explained around the 30 min. mark is exactly what happened to Kim and Kayne. The way he talked about her when they first got together(glamorizing and worshipping her) changed because he wanted to domesticate her and she wasn’t that type. Now he talks about her like she wasn’t crap before she met him and he’s the best thing to every happen to her.
I get it!! I see many people in coaching who are listening but not really hearing and putting things in action in order to effect change within themselves. I still have faith in reaching clients where they’re at. Great analysis of the realness in singleness today.
As a coach, its our job to listen more than we speak, so the clients can tell themselves what they need. Because you're right. When we tell them what we know, they don't listen.
Well I tell you this hit home! Ladies TG is just giving us the truth I took notes TG always say listen to his videos 3 times! TG spoke so many things to my spirit and I should have shed some tears but because it was so real. I had to put my big girl undies on and take it! I had to listen and receive this word that I’am living right now! What hit home when TG said most singles are single because of themselves. TG speak on it! Speak 🗣 on it, Ladies it’s so many jewel’s in this!
THANK YOU TG! Blessing to you and the Queen! 🙏🏾☀️
Im so tired of hearing about the standard of 6 ft + and earning 6 figures and having a 6 pack. I've been called pretty my whole life but I don't care about any of that. I just want a good man. I have a relationship with God, active in the church, started tithing, don't drink/smoke/fornicate/watch p**n... Im teaching myself another language, I have a decent job (teacher). Im introverted but trying my best to be approachable. I dress classy (usually dresses). Im 33. Im running out of things to do and Im exhausted.
I find that time spent alone on my knees in deep prayer every day literally keeps me sane. I told God to keep all jokers away from me and bring only the one right person my way. I have also done all that Tony says to do, and I'm prayed up, so the ball is now with God. Meanwhile, I am going 'bout my business, focusing on investing for my retirement should I never get married (flipping houses is a favourite, baking, writing articles, private tutoring etc). It also gives me great joy to give, e.g. I get meal vouchers and distribute them to random people on the streets who need them or I'll buy some packed meals and hand them out, or simply buy an assortment of stuff that the homeless may need from a supermaket (soap, milk, bread, water, etc) and put them in small packages to hand out. Gives me immense joy to help someone, even if just for one meal as I tell them that Jesus loves them.
@@Gwaycee Thank you for your reply. I'm still learning to be patient and just trust God. I will continue to work on myself :)
@@cateyes2103 I also happen to be a teacher, introverted, learning a new language as well, in my mid 30s too so I appreciate much of what you may be feeling. God has us, no matter what happens.
6+6+6 :O
Girl yes! Where are the men with good character?
I love your harsh realty even tho it’s indeed hard to digest but it’s good for us
I’m single bc I keep attracting the men who only want me for my body and not trying to actually get to know me for me.
Excuses
@@jayboybakare3233 excuses? really? I’m being honest so plz clarify
I used to dislike being short (5”1 and a 1/2). But listening to these videos over the years has made me appreciate being petite so height was never really a big deal to me because all guys are taller than me lol. I didn’t even realize women went so hard behind that detail.
Me too I’m 5’0 lol
See, when you’re 5’10 and 6’1 in heels like I am, height matters a little more🥴 Lol(No shade to your height btw) I’m now willing to date my height and above, but it took a long time to get to that point. I realized that if I meet a man that truly loves me and has everything I’m looking for, I’ll be willing to overlook height. i don’t think I’ll
go no lower than 5’9 frfr
@@marshaebradbury6444 Im 5'8'' and I learned years ago that sometimes great things come in small packages. Those tall Men who are 6'2 and up be thinking that they are God's gift to the world (regardless of what they actually look like lol). But yeah 5'10 is very tall so I feel you.
Yep. Don't be under any illusions most men prefer petite women. Probably more then ever due to women having unreasonable height standards. But tallness is only attractive to women. Not to men. Look at models for example. They are tall, very thin, flat chested and have a flat ass and often androgynous looking. I've never met a dude who was ever into one yet many women believe they need to look like them. Also tbh i think face matters more then height in attraction. A 5'10 average looking woman can't afford to be picky. And a 5'7 attractive man is in no way less attractive then a woman who is taller then him by default, as face is number 1 in terms of attraction. I do not understand women who are already tall walking around in 6 inch high heels and complaining no other man is taller then her. Just wear 1 or 2 inch heels. Why eliminate most men for being shorter then you in heels? When in reality he is actually taller than you barefoot.
A lot of people don't do well with too many options.
This was so good!! Made me go back to my “list” and update based on my growth/maturity over the last years. It put a lot into perspective. Thank you!
Just wanna say Tony is a blessing to us...keeping it real, regardless of how hard the pill is to swallow. THANK YOU!
This video made me take a good long look in the mirror and be honest with myself. Fear of rejection and past trauma is why I am single. Loneliness feels better than pain and trauma.
Whew! That level of vulnerability..my goodness!
Don’t want no man love being single
The negative stereotype of attractive women and men is very unfair. This is their God given face/eyes/lips/body yet people are scrutinizing them for what they were born with. I personally have been labeled pretty and beautiful for the most part of my life but I've never had doors handed to me. I have never made a list of what I want like many women do which to each its own. Attractive women /men main issue is the very thing they get hated on. You get people that see you as candy to look at and to display but don't want to know you personally/internally. I never thought as I become 30 there will be SO MANY RULES AND STIPULATIONS of dating to be married. I literarily feel great being single right now.
Same here 💖
@@xxps6189 Amen!!
Love your reactions of how people act when their in their feelings. Keep doing your thing my brother. You always spot on. Even if the lesson may sting a little. Some of us need someone to tell it like it is. Appreciate you !!!!
i feel really good about being attractive, but in a sense it’s not that great when people assume things about you before they even get to know you! also, you might like a person for who they are and they will reject you because they don’t feel worthy of you. also, when you get a boyfriend he will barely compliment you because he doesn’t want you to get “big headed” lol
I saw the title and I know this is going to be good🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🔥🔥🔥. Ready for this knowledge!!!
Yasssssss a long video!!!! Im ready to take notes 📝
As a slow starter in dating, I realized my values were stronger but what guys portrayed was confusing. I did not experience dating boys in HS because I was looking for an outlet to accomplish my goals. My desire to become educated was my main focus. My first relationship happened at 24. I experience a powerful connection with this man. My boyfriend at the time was a hard worker . He was decent looking but I overlooked that only because he said and did the right things to know that I was his. At the time, I was a college student. I was very active and outgoing. To most, I was very attractive to other men and this made my boyfriend furious. I did not see this as a red flag and did not know that his insecurities would cause our relationship to fail. I never knew what insecurity looked until then. This relationship did not make any sense because we wanted different things. I thought I share an experience. Thank you.
My argument is....this is wayyyy too much! I'll just stay single. It shouldn't be this complicated to have a mate.😔🤷🏾♀️
Thank you Tony, peace and blessings to you and your family. Taking notes thoroughly from this video
Thank you Bro Tony for laying down the Barber shop talk to us. I love this ‼️❤️💯
Been waiting to watch this all day after work. Taking mental notes! Literally a whole Masterclass 👌🏾✨
i'm single because i want a man who can support me in the life i want to give myself. i will create that life with or without a man. i want a man but there are BOYS out here, not MEN.
Real talk- this was a really good conversation. This is the first time I tuned into this channel. I am honestly saying I didn't know who Tony Gaskins is/was, but this conversation is literally a conversation that I have had with myself and my inner -circle so many times. It is hurtful to hear, but absolutely necessary to speak on. I will definitely tune into this channel again.
Extremely deep! I am thankful I invested the time to listen. It’s 02:30 in the UK 🇬🇧. Keep up the excellent work. Thank you. 🙏🏽
Tony is describing an attractive woman, but one who is naive and stupid. I was that very attractive woman, and, if you are intelligent, you figure out pretty quickly from all the experience of get from these men, that most men treat you like crap. Particularly the posturing ones. I've dated less attractive men, poor men, fat men, bald men, etc, because I look for personality. Looks mean shit. I am married. I know women like those you describe, and yes they are still single in their 40s, they have a bucket list with looks and money requirements, but they are also foolish, and not all attractive women are.
Married to what type of man?
You are so right Tony. I have watched so many male life and dating coaches, from that "Toxic" one, to the christian ones, you all say the same thing about beauty and what men look for in a woman. From what I see, most love a natural beauty.
This message, so glad I was represented in the many examples..got clarity and wisdom, thanks Tony🙏
I appreciate you sharing your perspective and wisdom. You discuss difficult topics with kindness. 🙏🏾
I appreciate your knowledge and the way you break each
Scenario down it has given
Me different things to look
At and evaluate why men are
Interested in different women
And what to look for in dating
What a awesome lesson
I must say Tony, you are extremely conscious of your words when delivering a sensitive message. I find that super praiseworthy! Not to mention, I love the humor you throw in every now and then! Lol
We´ve been needing this video for so long already! I was getting a bit confused this past months. Thank you Tony and thank you Lord to keep Tony going. 😇
T. Gaskins what a word that needed to be delivered 🙌 you stepped on my toes a couple of times, but I receive it and needed to hear it! Thanks for all that you do! God bless!
I'm single cause I can't imagine being with someone for the rest of my life without being so bored of them and wanting to escape. Anyone else deal with this? Even with friends I just wanna leave and be alone. I really like my freedom and don't like adapting to what other ppl want to do..it's just tiring ..I'd rather do what I want to do in my own company.
Omg agree
I feel like this 9/10 in my early 30s yet still desire marriage. Jesus take the will 😩😂
Thank you Tony. I'm definitely listening. I'm working out and losing weight because I refuse to settle. I want to be at a healthy weight for me that I feel comfortable at and I want a man that wants to go to the gym and try healthy foods as well. I've worked alot with my personality flaws. Like being a know it all. Interrupting when another person is talking and going from one conversation to another before actually finishing the last one off. You've mentioned that comes from not getting out and being stuck in the house to your own thoughts so when you get the chance to talk you are very overwhelming to the person you are speaking with. I see woman already in the comments with these character flaws. Men can call you beautiful all day and date you but "ARE YOU THE PRIZE" Like the title of one of your videos. I'm doing what I can today while I'm working on my tomorrow. I also donated ALL my clothes and started an up to date capsule wardrobe. I noticed me and my grandma's clothes were about the same in style and people kept thinking I was in my 40s. I just turned 34. So now I get the wear you going looking cute and men turning the heads to look back as a pass by.. I usually put my head down(still working on confidence and eye contact) Listening to understand is what a mature woman does. But I've noticed alot of women listen to find a flaw so they can say you are not talking about them (the beg to differ spirit lol) or to get fake offended so they can turn off the rest of the message. Like you have said people will go more towards working on their strengths and wonder why they are not getting strong in their weaknesses. Thanks for this video. I will be relistening to it
This is good work Ms Christian Robinson. Proud of you👏🏾 😊
Well done 👍🏽. Keep up with the growth.
Yes, it takes maturity to look outside of yourself when receiving criticism and not getting offended over everything.
This touched my spirit, this is me as well. I’ve been putting in the work to change and improve BBB! Thank you for sharing! Blessings
Love this! You brought up some of my flaws.
Which video did he talk about conversation flaws
I hope this message blessed everyone love your content Tony n Mrs Gaston you Rock hugs to the beautiful children many more blessings in this new year amen 🙏🙌.
UNFORTUNATELY!! YOU ARE RIGHT!! SADLY TRUE!!
Im listening Tony. And I can absolutely own that. Im still working on becoming the best version of myself. If I was to be in a relationship today I wouldn’t be operating from my best self. Get the knowledge ladies! Its okay NOT to settle, it’s okay to need to talk to someone, it’s okay to question yourself. But be intentional and lets hold ourselves accountable
Yes girl same here! Just started therapy.
@@brittanys5969 me too girl. And we’re progressing one step at a time
Great video Mr. Gaskins! When we are tired of being single we also have to learn to create a space for the person we want. Independent women/men become tooo independent. 🌹
This 💯
Be blessed Sir. I love you!
I fit this category!
Tony you're on POINT!
Now this is the most accurate breakdown of what’s going on in 2022! Profound!
Okay, I totally agree! Would like to share my story.
I am an average looking woman, and take care of myself. I have been a group fitness instructor for over 30 years, and am a former body building competitor. Yes! The men I dated back in the day that were per say... good "Eye Candy" never measured up. I didn't waste too much time with these types of guys. " FIRST red flag, " my track shoes were always nearby lol! 😅. I decided to do as you mentioned in this video, and dated a man that was kind, thoughtful respectful and of great character. He didn't make much money and that didn't matter to me. We were very young. He was such a gentleman and I fell in love with his chearther. We got married after 2 years of dating.( we were in our late 20's.) Was married for 18 years. He later got a job making 6 figures and he was a great provider. I truly loved him. We had 2 children. Our first has exceptional needs and considered a total care. Now here comes the truth after all this time that I found out years later.
1. I was not his preference. (I Didn't have a college degree) and he thought I was uneducated. He was extremely smart and degreed up. I believe I fell in love with the representative.
2. He was a mamma's boy and I often had to compete with her. His parents attended every vacation, and I was often the butt of their jokes. He was also an insecure man. I didn't know who I was because I was so young and was in love with the thought of being pursued as a catch and being married. I have owned my faults and truth in all of this.
3. Having a special needs child that required 24 hour care was a strain on our marriage. Therefore, I started my own fitness business for 6 years, training children in fitness to help financially and my mental health. It was very successful. However, I didn't get much of his support from him.
4. It became harder to be attracted to him later in the marriage, after years of passive aggressive behavior, punishments such as neglec helping with the children after arguments. I would have to get permission to buy groceries and necessities as I didn't have access to the budget. He wanted me go back to school to do real estate, and or become a nurse to have a job title. That was hard, because we would have to pay someone at least $20 an hour, 8/10 hours a day to care for our child. I had come to the realization, that I was married to a "Grown Boy. I prayed all the time and fought for the marriage/ went to canceling and everything! I worked on myself to be the best wife I could be but when you are not a preference, don't meet their expectations, and as a result of the mental emotional a*****, I filled for divorce.
It has been over 7 years now. He remarried 2 years after our divorce. (Yes, she has a title.) Your videos have helped me heal on multiple levels! Thank you! I am happy and still desire to be married again. I am 56 years old I still teach fitness, as it is a gift from The Most High, to pour positive energy into others during their weight loss/fitness journeys. I currently train officers and supervisors that work for the government.
I believe in my heart that The Most High has someone in store for me. Meanwhile, I am humbled, and stand in my truth and peace. I have learned so much about myself, always putting in the work wanting to be righteous in the the eyes of the Most High God! To him be the glory for my life, your platform Tony, and all you do for our community. May
Peace, prosperity and joy continue to bless you and your family. 👏🏿🙏🏾😊
Bless you. Thank you for your story 💖
I am literally shocked at reading number one given the narrative that's being pushed out here about men not caring if you have a degree or not. Truly lost for words .
God bless you. Still waiting for my Boaz
You told the truth....wheeew, I got work to do. Thanks for your honesty.
This is some of the best dating advice I’ve heard in years! More people need to hear this. 💯
Great video Tony, and this totally makes sense. Working on the 3 B's consistently so I can attract what I want.
I would love a continuation of the Single & Ready series...I have no idea where to find eligible singles.
I understand. I agree. I am a plus size women.i know not to go after a fit man until I take my health care with discipline. I'm 5ft. I no longer want a 6ft man. As long as your taller than me at least 2 inches I'm good.
Thank you Tony!
This message was on point!
God Bless🙏🏼
Thanks Tony! I appreciate your rawness and honesty. All you said are all valid FACTS!
You Are Spot On Tony ! Unrealistic Expectations for Both Women/Men ! We bought into the Fairytale!
I'm listening with my feelings out of the way!!
Amen Divinity 🙌🏾🙏🏽
Yep!!!
All I can say is I’m super grateful for this video! This is pure gold and 100% the truth thank you for being straight up and giving us a man’s truthful perspective.
I really, really enjoyed everything you said. Excellent information! I felt like you were talking to me.
Stay single as long as you can! We’re living in critical times, hard to deal with…the last days! It’s not worth the energy, time, or money. Love 💕 yourself and appreciate who you are becoming. Get a circle ⭕️ of friends you can relate to.
True
Tony messages always open my eyes to new ways when looking at relationships. But Tony do you recommend more women to be SAHM in order for marriage to truly work? Or at least women who don’t over work themselves in a job if their goal is to have their dream man (outside of looks, height etc)
I always was desired by men but they only offered me good looks. I do want a certain type of man for marriage but I also know to be realistic when dating. I noticed you normally never see a good looking couple together because it’s much deeper than “looks”.
This was right on time ……. I appreciate the knowledge 💯
This was on point!!! And totally right on time from what I'm going through at this present time. And you are all the way right. Ty for being completely honest!
Ty!!🔥😊
This message made me stop and listen. For me this is the most valuable insight that I have personally been able to receive and apply to my own life. There are so many key takeaways. Like he said, some will get what he is "not" saying and read in-between the lines. This answered life long questions that I have been seeking answers since I was a child to the 33 years of age I am right now. I learned so much - from the way I view myself; my perceptions vs realities; personal dating experiences; and why I stay in relationships too long that no longer serve me. Thank you, Tony Gaskins, for your wisdom, insight, discernment, and obedience to God's instructions for your life.
Slim pickens out here
🤣😭😂
I swear..let us pray🤣🙏🏽❤
Oooohhh weeee 😳
Here for the replay! 2009-2023 12 years w/o. LOL I can see the beauty beyond. Even for self. Bless you TG!!
Tony conversations are always frank and candid ! I love it ❤️