I have ended my marriage of 55 years.He became a totally different personality after 4 strokes.He became abusive, nasty, and violent blaming me for his ill health. I am 74 so whatever time I have left I want a safe peaceful life.
Oh my God. I'm going through the same thing. Been married almost 17 years. The last three years have been really rough. He had a brain tumor removed in September and since he's been home he's the devil himself. Yelling, screaming, cursing, outbursts. Can't wait to get away from this nutjob. When he gets better and back on his feet I'm getting rid of him. I'm taking the "trash" out. And then my home will be peaceful again. Males for the most part are disgusting. Liars, cheaters, make messes all the time, abusers or a combo of the aforementioned. Walking, talking nightmares from h e ll
I celebrate those of us who choose peace and a better quality of life no matter how long the relationship was and what material things we might have to walk away from. A close family member was murdered because she was a very religious caring and loyal person thinking God would save her so she returned after having safely gotten away from an increasingly more violent situation and was murdered. He never served a day in prison for it though every one knew he did it. He proved to be a wicked person who secretly enjoyed watching her and us children suffer and cry though not many outside the family knew because she kept quiet. He actually became more treacherous and abusive to us children after she died but ever so helpful and kind to neighbors and strangers going on to spread lies to protect his image. It got back to us that he was telling those who inquired that she had committed suicide due to a terminal cancer diagnosis which was not true. She had no cancer but his family was wealthy and had power so he was protected. The traditions of suffering because of what onlookers might think or say as was once the custom needs to go. We must be wise and move forward with life no matter what people think after all what is the value of our lives? Thank you Cindy for sharing and getting people to discuss topics of concern that have been hidden for far too long. Length of time in misery and sometimes in danger should never be valued more than " the life more abundant", that was promised to us. ✨
@@tina8796 May I recommend not postponing or waiting “until he recovers”. That can take longer than you think. Or maybe he will pretend to not be recovering so you will stay and do everything. Life is short. Ask yourself if he would do the same for you? Would he care for you if the same illness happened to you? Start the paperwork, file for separation so he won’t saddle bills onto you, collect all bank statements, legal documents,house, cars, assets, etc so if something disappears you will have evidence. Start making your exit plan. Look for living arrangements, open your own credit cards and banking accounts in your own name. Ask friends what they did and learned so you won’t have to many shocks. Start living your future and not caring (for him) in the past. Good luck ❗️ And I’m sorry your in this situation.
I met the love of my life in my sixties! I was single, a practicing Christian and wanted a man who respected my beliefs and had similar values. We were married three years ago and I’ve never been happier. Never give up on the possibility of meeting your person. God hears our prayers
Thanks for sharing this. I get so discouraged with so much divorce today! I haven't dated in yrs every since my sons mother left randomly out of the blue one day. Honestly I still don't know why I'm guessing she fancied someone else a friend set her up with. However she was married and divorced within a year! We were together 5 yrs and I guess I was silly to think we would stay together forever! At 51 I'm finding the majority of women are taken, have given up on men or are just not good people but I know good ones are still out here and I pray that God will connect us.🙏
@vapeking466 Yes, we are but the awful world of "dating " is just something many of us can't handle. I became a widow at 49 and outside of a very FEW first dates, I knew it wasn't for me. I love people and getting to know them, but no matter what the man was like, age, hobbies or jobs, within a short while somehow, out of the blue, they would work the subject of sex into the conversation! Lol. You have to give them credit for their creativity!
@@tj-2011Practicing daily what God's holy Word requires and teaches believers of the Holy Bible striving to be perfect with God's help. Many claim to be by their names, but do not OBEY God's Commands
Cindy, it is obvious that you are still Suffering from the effects of your divorce from the sound of your voice. I was married young and worked at it for 18 years. My husband put in no effort and decided he preferred a different lifestyle. What did I lose from my divorce? Constant criticism, loss of sleep, loss of stress, and those two-faced frenemies. What I gained was confidence, pride in myself, my work and accomplishments. I gave thanks for the freedom to do/think/be who I really am. Giving up my big beautiful unhappy house (I sold it furnished, too) was such a relief. Every situation is different but not dealing with my ex's drama, cheating, and and abusive behavior was like being on vacation. I could have my OWN friends. I never wanted to remarry. I dated a lot but abt 6 yrs ago I said I dont need this in my life. YOU ARE ENOUGH! I wasnt going to compromise my beliefs and values for any one again. You are a beautiful, empathetic educated woman. What man/husband/partner has the right to expect more? You will find a lot of men want "a nurse with a purse" as my older friends used to tell me. Too many times they were correct. in your previous videos you sounded busy, active, and open to new adventures. Consider your freedom a blessing and take it one day at a time. Sounds like you are doing great!❤️
I’m 66 in January. I’ve been married 40 years. We have three grown children and 4 grandchildren. My marriage has been very hard and I am leaving my husband. He’s finally agreeing to it. I’m a Christian too. But it’s been a long time coming. He is not a believer.The reasons I’m leaving him not for sexual infidelity, but betrayal, alienation of affections, coldness, and he left the marriage many years ago, even though his body is still here in our house. He does not love me. In fact I think he doesn’t even like me. He’s also abusive of at times verbally cruel. He sites with my children and lies about me to my grandchild. The final betrayal. And I can’t take it anymore.
Good for you that you are finally leaving the marriage. You will find peace severing the ties either your husband and any friends or relatives who support him. It is not an easy path but it is the right one and the Lord will be with you every step of the way. You’ve got this!
Stay strong and maintain your course and as time passes, like an onion each layer of nonsense that was once the norm will be shown to you as the disrespectful crap it always was. I am at 2.5 years post divorce and while it hasn’t always been easy, I know in my soul that it was absolutely the best choice for me. I’m getting my new normal perfected!
Divorce is an ending without an ending. I divorced more than 20 years ago, in my early 40s, when my daughters were 9 and 5. I raised my daughters to be independent and strong women. In the early years, there was a sorrow that visited us from time to time, but our home was full of love and happiness. No regrets. I did have a beautiful relationship, post-divorce, with my soulmate. We loved each other for 14 years, until his passing 7 years ago. He is the one that I cannot replace. I'm so grateful to have been blessed with his love in my lifetime. Now, I enjoy life with my children, a beautiful grandson and my beautiful 90 y/o Mom. God bless you always, Cindy! Thanks for sharing your stories and treasures. ❤
I am a widow, so was single after 49 yrs of marriage. For me it is now three plus years. I have no desire for a man in my life other than just a friend. It is just too complicated. I know what you mean about the flip side of the empty house and loneliness. There is a joy in eating when and what you want and not having to explain everything you do. I am an only child, parents have been gone over 25 years. We were never social and I am quite frugal, so another reason I don’t want to have a partner to make financial decisions with. Enjoy your dreams and freedom. I am not depressed and grief is very manageable but I can’t wait for the day I get to be with God, face to face. Hugs, Cindy from Oklahoma
Sorry for your loss. I believe you will be reunited in heaven. As a matter of fact he is probably still around in spirit! He wants to know your ok! Some notice scents of those who passed or little signs. He still loves you! 🙏
May you be blessed in so many ways! I met my ex-husband at 18 and we dated for 5 years. We were married for 23 years. I decided to divorced him in 2014. As Dr. Phil said, " Id rather be lonely and single, than lonely in a marriage." I made the wrong decision in marrying him. God Almighty did not put he and I together. I've been divorced for 10 years and I'm enjoying my single life. Being on my own is definitely a learning experience.
You sound like the female version of me, I'm a widower (60), she died of cancer. I miss her but am not looking for anyone else either. Life is very simple and low cost as a single, and as an introvert I don't need the extra socialising you get as a couple, plus all the women my age are divorced and we all know the stats on 2nd marriages .
Cindy, I hear you. After 43 yrs my husband past away. I feel lost and out of place. I agree with you and the bible. The bible was written long ago but God knew we'd be reading it today. Don't let any one try to change your thinking just because they wanted to put a different spin on the bible. I am proud of you and I'm sure one day we will hear, Well done, my good and faithful servant. Sending a hug to you from Ohio.
Cindy, thank you for your honesty and transparency. No one lived in your house or lived your life. I find that sometimes I can downplay the bad memories and enhance the good ones, making me question past decisions. But, then I'll stumble upon an old email (or something else) that brings me back to reality and reminds me why I made the choice I did. You clearly did not make your decision in haste. Do not waste time on regrets.
Michellem, what words of wisdom you gave to Cindy. "downplaying the bad memories and enhancing the good ones....then questioning the past decisions". I loved this. I'm going to quote you! xxoo
Well said. If I may add a thought, ending a relationship (man or woman) is not wholly about whether it is better for you, but also if it is better for your loved ones and close circle around you.
Cindy - I would encourage you as a Christian to pray and ask God directly for the man he wants you to have. Many years ago, and after a terrible marriage with a cheating husband, I was so desperately lonely. I remember getting on my knees by the side of my bed and crying out to God to send me someone that God knew would be good for me. Two months later, a young man moved into the apartment two doors down. We got to know each other slowly, dated three years and now married 30 years and what a blessing he has been. Big hugs from Biloxi, MS 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇Prayers my friend...
I was married for 40 years, had a cheating husband. He remarried. I have not. Afraid of getting hurt again. Moved near my daughter and granddaughter, she asked me too. I moved to another state. I am sad all the time. My daughter does not help me. I wish I had never left my other house. I felt safe there. I had neighbors that helped and a church family. Everything is different here. I usually cry most the day
@@Chris-fv3pk If you can, make a change. You have to live your life, not your daughter's. Do whatever it takes for YOU to be happy. Keep asking God to show you a way and the way will be shown to you. Keep the faith my friend. Please wipe your eyes and know that even strangers care for you. Big hugs from Biloxi, MS
Cindy that was a very good explanation to how you are feeling about your divorce and being alone. I know it couldn't be easy to share that with us. I am 77 and have been divorced from my ex-husband for 24 years. He passed away 16 years ago. I left because he was physically abusive. I still loved him and still do now. He was my best friend and such a wonderful man and provider except for when he drank and got angry. He had mother issues as he was abused by her as a child. No excuse I know. We had many years of counseling sessions but in vain. I finally could not take it any longer, living the life of walking on eggshells all the time. I gave up a beautiful home in an exclusive neighborhood, a country club, plenty of money to travel, lots of friends and socializing. I moved to a condo and only took half of our belongings. He remarried within a year, and they built a new house together and when he passed, she sold it and bought a new house in Hawaii. His widow is doing much better than me financially as they had a successful eight years together whereas my standard of living went downhill considerably. I guess I made the right decision as I am still alive and who knows if I would be if I had stayed.
So grateful to run across your video this morning! At 64, I’ve been divorced 16 years. I raised my 2 kids alone. Being married, I was a single parent. Hunting and fishing were always more important than us. My children are now 32 and 28 and both have beautiful families and great careers. when I decided to divorce, like you said, I was hurting so bad that I couldn’t see how much my children were hurting. This led to a 14 year drug addiction for my son, in and out of jails, fines, etc. BUT GOD had a plan for his life & he is now a ordained minister and runs a long term, faith-based, rehabilitation center and is an ordained minister with four children and a beautiful wife. I never realized all the things that I would lose by walking out on our marriage. My mother will be gone three years in January, and the last five years of her life, I lived with her when she came down with a terminal illness. I now live in the family home that I grew up in, and I am beyond grateful to have it. I left my job of almost 20 years in May due to a boss who was making my job unbearable. So here I am in retirement a year early and really don’t know what to do with myself. I live in rural Arkansas, and have several lady friends that get together. So that helps. But most of the time I am alone. 😢. I should get out more often than I do and have plenty of invitations, I just don’t go because it takes so much effort to get ready. I lost my only sibling, my brother, just a few weeks ago. So this holiday season I am finding it really hard. I thank you for sharing your story. It helps.
Go out, say yes to those invitations - it's always better to do that. Consider a part-time job or new hobby. Mentioning these things in the spirit of wanting you to succeed. ❤
This video is a thought-provoking subject. I'm so glad you are so honest. My own life and choices I made are very similar to yours. The same thoughts and decisions have been there for me also. Please continue to put out this type of content. We all need to see the good and the bad of divorce.
Great discussion. As I have gotten older I could kick myself for listening and taking on other people's criticisms because I didn't want to be judged. Where are those people now. Not in my life at all. Take every opportunity to go and meet new people and show that great personality you have
Cindy, everyone’s situation is different. I’m 71, and have been a widow for 13 years. My husband died suddenly after 38 years of marriage. I still miss him everyday, but I have NO desire to EVER marry again. I truly enjoy the life I live now!…However, if I ever met someone, I don’t feel that I’d need to discuss our private life with anyone. It’s simply no one’s business. When my mother died, my dad started seeing a lady within a few months. He told me that he was going to have to marry her because she wouldn’t live with him, “in sin”. He married the lady 3 months after my mother died. They were absolutely MISERABLE for 9 years! Until he died. They both said they NEVER should have married. For all sorts of reasons!…I remember thinking that they wouldn’t have married if she hadn’t had the idea of not “living in sin”! What a mess! So many people have messed their entire lives up caring what other people think about that. I could care less what others, especially older people, do in their private life! Life is too short to live it caring what others think. ❤
I lost my wife unexpectedly at the doctors hand. We were together 46 years after only 6 months of dating. I’ve been completely lost now after 5 years. Everyone has their story.
Hi Cindy , I am a 74 yeay old widower and just found your channel. You have great content and touch on topics that I find very interesting. Even as a man I can relate and appreciate your journey. I look forward to watching more of your videos.
I’m more afraid of the gold diggers after my husband. I warn him about it all the time. These young women they want wam, bang! And that only happens when you’re young. He’d have a lot of trouble finding anyone who wants to deal with it. Better have a pre-nup for sure.
Stand by and live by your Christian beliefs! If you meet a Christian man that falls in love with you, he will have the same convictions that you have. And if it is God’s will, and you both love each other and unite in marriage, it will be the most amazing and blessed union! I may sound old fashioned, but I have learned from many mistakes in my life, mistakes that I am not proud of. I, too, am divorced and your age as well. I have turned back to living a Christian life and have repented of my past actions and feel peace now. I won’t compromise my core beliefs again.Good luck to you, Cindy! God will bless your new life. I look forward to following your channel.
I've repented of my past as well. I'm so grateful that Jesus Christ knows my heart and He forgets our repented sins. Jeremiah 31:34 "I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more"
Cindy, I always love your videos! As I’ve stated before, you and I have a lot in common. I was an early primary teacher in a NJ public school for 40 years ! I was married for 50 years. My husband had Front.Temp. Dementia and passed in June of 2022. Our 2 sons are grown, married and on their own, so I am an “independent free spirit” ! I am fortunate to have many friends who are single,by divorce death or choice. We go on many day trips,social occasions and family get togethers. I belong to 2 retired educators associations for 2 counties(one where I taught,one where I live) We are both fortunate(you and I) to have good general health! You inspire me on so many levels! I follow your decor advice ,as well as your beauty &fashion examples . After raising a busy family, teaching, working on many professional organizations, I am happy to be on my own ! Cherish your “singleness” and reflect on your many happy memories of raising your daughter ! Continue to share your adventures, advice and fun ! You are a wonderful role model ,as I approach 75 on my next birthday !!🥳
My sister has lived in a large (950 households) upscale 55+ community for 6 years. The number of residents who have gotten married to another resident and then soon after gotten divorced is shocking. I’ve thought about it a lot and have come to the conclusion that religion is the only reason an older pairing would take the next step and voluntarily invite the judicial system into their lives, i.e. get married in the eyes of the government. It’s a hard dilemma that each person must address in their own mind. The shocking percentage of failed new marriages has the effect of hardening the resolve of many singles to NEVER remarry.
And many seniors fear losing their benefits and/or assets in a new marriage. The old saying always plays in my mind, older men many times are looking for a nurse or a purse. I am not interested in a relationship, but if I was it would not include marriage or co-habitation. We would keep our respective homes and assets separate and visit when we felt like it, travel, etc.
Hi, Cindy. Just found your channel and subscribed. Your authenticity is admirable. I’m in my 50’s and married. The Word of God is immortal. It transcends all time. So, you are right in what you said about marriage and intimacy before God. That will never change. Blessings, my friend.
I have had a similar experience Cindy and can relate to everything you talked about. I haven’t remarried and at 70 I don’t want to get married. I’m so independent and content with my life. I have children and grandchildren close by so that helps and I still work part time from home. I admire your commitment to your beliefs. It’s very rare and shows that you are a classy lady. Enjoy the weekend . By the way, are you putting up a Christmas tree?🎄
@laural1165 Can I ask what you do part time from home because I will be retiring in July and would like a part time job from home? Thank you in advance for sharing.
Dear Cindy, I have been a widow for 28 years and also believe in the law of chastity. Stick to what you know is right, God is the same now as always, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I commend you for even discussing the topic with your viewers, I have a lot of respect for you! ❤️
@@gabbys7719 I believe it is, unless there is abuse. we all sin and can have redemption from all sin. We continually sin until we die. My son as a believer got a divorce, I was heartbroken but he is now remarried with children and I pray he will not repeat that. He is now closer to God than before.
@@gabbys7719 Search NASB95 Go Divorce Search Range: The Whole Bible Help Mark 10:2 Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. Mark 10:4 They said, "Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY." 1 Corinthians 7:11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:12
I have been single since I was 48 and I am 75 now. I rather be single than be in an alcoholic, abusive relationship. The Bible hasn’t changed. We have changed. Stay strong to your beliefs. Heaven will be worth it n
Maybe I missed something - as to why she divorced her husband of 43 years. Was he beating her? Was he cheating on her? Was he gambling, drinking and or doing drugs? Was he verbally, and socially abusing her? Was it because she was unhappy?
Ronald Reagan said one of his biggest regrets as governor of California was signing the first No Fault Divorce Laws…stop making this woman out to be some kind of hero for divorcing her husband….shame on her and all the woman that leave their husband because they are not happy…if any woman had joy - real joy in her heart there would be no question about being happy or not…as soon as married life gets a few ups and downs woman run for the door…it has been my life experience has been wives go to their mother, their sister, their co-workers their girlfriends and complain about their husband instead of going to their husband confront him… I was in my local family restaurants the other night and in the booth behind me was two middle aged ladies…for the two hours I sat through dinner my friend I overheard these two woman shredding their husbands to each other…really nice. That’s how it’s done..telling everyone else whats wrong except their spouse….next comes being blindsided with divorce papers. One final point the only contract that can broken by one party is a marriage contract…let that sink in. Try and call the bank and tell them you’re breaking the auto contract because you’re not happy and not only I’m not happy but I’m breaking the contract and I’m keeping the car…nice job feminist of America….destruction is all you woman bring…
I think you are amazing and strong for making such a huge life change later in life. Not many people would be that brave. You were true to your journey. Amazing actually. Many blessings to you and I hope you find joy. 🏵️
My first marriage lasted 12 years. My ex was cheating on me, sexting videos and pics to another man whom she once had a relationship with. He was married as well. Zero tolerance for this. It's a lack of integrity and respect towards me. I also won custody of my son (when he was 8 years old at the time). Tells you the kind of "human being" she is. I've since remarried since 2018 to my best friend. We're a clone of another, knew another from work for several years. She compliments me, and I her. She has integrity as do I. Without it, there's no foundation to build upon.
Being single, has many advantages. The word 'compromise' usually means giving up who one is to satisfy the desires of the other person, though obviously that's not always true. Being able to do what one wants, when one feels like it should not be under-rated. A loss of financial wealth may be the downside in some cases but even that can be overcome. As an older person, having few friends makes life easier, less complicated, being selective is a good thing. Single people being friends with married couples is usually not sustainable. You sound wealthy enough that you can maintain a high standard of living for yourself, not everyone is as fortunate.
Cindy, I appreciate the video. I’m alone, too. It is so lonely. Getting your divorce seems like it was hard but you had to try for happiness. I want romance, too. You’ll find it, you’re too sweet. Best of luck and you are an inspiration to me.
Hi Cindy, I really needed to hear this discussion with you today. I agree with you about living together versus marriage. I am curious though, did you divorce for biblical reasons? I was married for 32 years and when my divorce was finalized, I was 62 years old. My life has changed drastically. The changes I have encountered are maintaining my house, repairs, landscaping, company for dinner, holidays with our son, going from couple status to single status, becoming invisible, being retired to now working full-time, having someone to go with you to doctors appointments, taking care of you when you are sick, etc. It's interesting...when you are married it almost says to the world you are loved by someone, when you are widowed it says to the world you were loved by someone, when you are are divorced it says to the world your someone didn't love you anymore.
I never saw someone being divorced as "not being loved anymore " but rather, they were not afraid to make the changes needed in spite of the consequences. Most divorces are initiated by women.
Never care what other people think. Most people are not thinking about you or care what you do. Divorce shows you love and respect yourself if your husband was abusive. Start thinking about your own happiness now.
Don’t you think we also look back after a divorce and remember the good…..when it really wasn’t? I remember being so miserable at times and would not want to be back there for all of the money in the world. I am lucky because I love living by myself. You are so beautiful and hope you never give up on love if that is what you want❤️ Great video!!
@@TexasGirl1633 what I did before my divorce was think I was in love with my husband. He was not a good husband but oh how I loved him. After my divorce I was able to redefine my emotions and have never looked back with anything but utter joy that I am divorced!!
I applaud you for sharing this personal information. It certainly will help others going through similar situations. Follow your heart and never question your beliefs. You’re a strong woman.
I’ll be truthful, most strong healthy men our age want much younger women for wives and companions. The alternative, is an older man who will soon need a nurse, cook and caregiver. Enjoy your carefree lifestyle and continue to live life to the fullest as you have been doing. Don’t take a chance ruining it. Blessings!
Hello Cindy, Thank you for sharing your story. I filed for divorce in 2020 after 35 years of marriage. I felt the same as you and knowing life would be different. I had to choose me this time. I needed to release myself from the hurt and pain that was caused, that I could not change from a spouse’s decision to live a different life. I am happy to say, by keeping my heart open to love, live found me! I got married to a wonderful man who loves me like I have never experienced love before. We married on my 60th birthday in September 2022. I pray that you will find love again and that your latter days be greater than your former days. IJN
I think you are very pretty and a smart lady but i cant relate. Married 56 years to a wonderful man and good father. We have lost so many loved ones, including our beautiful daughter to breast cancer, that i count everyvday with him a blessing. I pray we have a few more years left but nothing is promised at our age. I wish you happiness 🌻
One thing you said really stands out, and that is the pondering question, would you have fallen into a deep, dark depression had you stayed. Instead, ask yourself, would things have gotten better had you stayed. If the answer is, probably not; then you know you made the right decision. You may say, “well, I will never know if things would have gotten better because I left.” There’s a reason you left, and I’m sure like many marriages that end, the decision was made because you realized things were not going to change. I hope you find the “right” companion if that’s what you feel is missing; which is natural. ❤
I don't know what happened in their marriage of 43 years, but being married to a great man for 49 is inconceivable to be without! It's not always one sided. Sometimes I think people just get bored. It's not always about their spouse; it's something they are lacking. Though I am very happy with my man, he is not the one I should be depending on to make me happy. A new romance does not solve the problem. I've seen men and women seek a partner after a divorce or death and a lot of the times the marriage fails. Those are my thoughts and mine alone, but regardless I hope Cindy can find the happiness she so deserves.
So glad to find u !! I relate so much. I am a divorced 66 yr old. Divorced for 2 years. I experience all that u say. I am a follower of Jesus also. I am missing being a wife and I still am learning to live alone. I believe that the good that has come out of the divorce has been that my relationship with the Lord has grown so much!! However, I am still adjusting to the losses such as companionship, intimacy and much more. But God has been faithful and I know my future is in His Hands. I do not have the financial security that some have, but He does provide for me. I could write so much about the changes and phases one goes through but I will just say that there are many of us that find themselves in this place. I am endeavoring to find joy daily and am trying to learn that alone does not have to mean lonely. I'm better than I was but hope for more healing and more Peace with my situation. I am going to subscribe and will pray for u and others that are on here. I appreciate what Ive heard so far. 😊
I will pray for you Jean. Are you familiar with St. Padre Pio's prayer "Stay With Me Lord"? It is so beautiful and is for EVERYONE! Keep smiling! Life is such a joy! Especially in the small and humble things! 🌺🌻🌷
Just think, you get to be as happy as you want now! Friends, hobbies, travel, gardening, waking up to another beautiful day with God and maybe sweet furbabies. Would you let a man mess that up? ❤
I totally understand your feelings . I live with my partner 9 months out of the year . He and I have a wonderful relationship and we are both better together without being married. The romantic part passes because of age We are still loving but as a 72 year old women and he being 80 we just laugh hug each other and roll over . Is that a sin? I think our Dear Lord has much more on his plate these days than judging us seniors for our bedroom activities. Just my thoughts. You are a very special lady . As far as men are concerned Christian or not they all want attention if you know what I mean.The 3 months we are apart has been good for both of us. The only part of our relationship that gets old is me cooking and some of his messes I have to admit I’m a lot more patient not being married. ❤Kris
You left out the part about not having a "handyman" around the house to help you deal with things that go wrong in the house - mechanical, electrical, plumbing, lifting heavy objects, etc., and knowing a man is there to make you feel secure and protected.
@rpmnh How "handy" can you be when lifting heavy objects, cutting tree limbs, fixing a broken down mower, and a myriad of other things I could mention?
@@rpmnh I'm not here to argue with you. In more cases than none, women need some kind of help with issues or other complications that arise in a home. You have a right to your viewpoint but do I. I know from personal first hand experience.
Really just depends. I grew up on a farm so had many 'handyman' skills passed down to me by my family. Also, my ex husband was 18 years older so I was the one who still had the strength and the energy to maintain most of the handyman responsibilities or we'd hire for outside help. Being around an elderly/aging man does not make one feel 'secure and protected'.
Loved finding your vid! So many things relatable! I’ve called l my ex “my one and only” not because he was the love of my life like the ‘60’s songs, but because although I appreciate having a marriage, I would never want to marry again! So many reasons…but a big one is because of the financial intertwining! I supported him and his shenanigans for most of our marriage and now without him I am financially secure. Another biggie…He beat down my self esteem even when I was young and beautiful, so now, old and saggy I can’t imagine having romance!😂🤣
@PalmSpringsCindy This is another reason to give marriage serious consideration. Imagine a man you've only been married to a short time inheriting what you've worked so hard for instead of your daughter inheriting it. Or, deciding to divorce you and not being as amicable about it as your ex was. We are too old to start over. I will never remarry for these reasons
I have followed you since you were first moving on from marriage. We are about the same age too. I can relate to everything you said. I have been married 47 years and I could scream daily at my husband but I am not going to leave because we do still laugh when I start to get angry. Usually it is about silly stuff. My house also sometimes feels like I am choking but then I go through a rage cleaning and I feel better. I know what you mean about having someone in the house. I have nurtured 3 generations now myself, 4 if you count taking care of my mother til her death. I want someone here to take care of me even with the snoring and the selfish man behavior.. I do not need his money because like you, I have my own.
At 70 it would take a hella lot for me to leave my husband. Nearly impossible to find someone over 70. Most of the men are left overs other women don't want, and if the man is an eligible bachelor would had a good career, they are looking for younger women, and they can get them. Nope, I will take the good and the bad and stick with my husband who is my best friend.
I so admire your Christian commitment. Yes, you are 100% correct about what the Bible says about intimacy. You’re bold and brave. You will indeed get a lot of flack concerning that, but stand firm. ❤
Hey Cindy- I’m a 60 year old lady from NC who frequents your channel. The fact that you shared such personal situations with the public is quite humbling and very brave of you. Not one of us can change our past no matter how we may want to try so we need to just be thankful for its memories for what once was and what we’ve learned on that journey. BUT GOD- You are soo right on that! You keep on pleasing Jesus in everything you do and let HIM take care of the rest of your life. He knows EXACTLY what we need and He surely loves just spending time one-on-one with us each day as well❤. Please don’t compromise your beliefs and values for anyone! 18:05 You are a true lady who many of us on the other side of the screen admire. Your Precious to God Cindy and He is just refining & molding you into a more Precious jewel for His glory through all this. May you have a Blessed and fulfilled Christmas 🎄 ❤. Proverbs 3: 5-6. Much Love from NC
Judy from Bham here. My husband died suddenly after 47 years. The Word of God still stands after 2000 years despite. I was told that I was behind the times. I am trusting God in this situation. He knows our situation and is worthy of our trust. Be content in whatever situation you find yourself. Stay in the Word . ❤
Hello Cindy!! I live not far from you at Loma Linda.I got separated on 2020, now going into divorce. To find you is an enormous bless…Lots of love for you! And thank you so much for sharing ♥️♥️♥️
It’s a complicated and thought provoking topic. I was married 20 years and he had an addiction. I divorced for the safety of my son and myself . Years later he passed away . When we divorce there is a grieving time because especially in a long marriage it was a part of our identity . I have remained single and now 70I have dated here and there and oh my gosh it was horrible. The quality of men seems so poor. I have not dated for several years and I do not feel lonely . I feel as though God knows my needs and honestly it has been my time for self discovery peace healing due to other traumatic events I have had along the way . For me a man is not responsible for my happiness or joy. Some men at this age want a caretaker . Speaking for myself I really stay in the moment finding the joy and peace making my apartment my sanctuary praying for my son and keeping myself healthy and overall gratitude. Keep leaning into God he knows our hearts and what is best ❤️
It’s in God’s hands. Don’t stress or worry about it. Remember, there is a wonderful Christian lady on TH-cam who remarried at 80 years old/young at heart ❤️ they are so cute together. And if the right man doesn’t come into your life, it’s ok! There’s another lady in her 80’s who always tells me when I get depressed over not being married, she says find a need & fill it. Volunteering, so many different areas to volunteer in 😊 💖
You are having a hard time and I am sorry. You seem very sincere. You did what you felt you had to do. Hang in there! You surely will find someone. I'm a 75 year old man who lost my wife nearly 11 years ago. The quietness in the house is deafening. It's difficult when like you I want to be with someone but anyone isn't good enough.
Hello Cindy. I completely understand your position. I have had men offer to be my long term “date”. As he described it: out to dinner as a couple and an intimate evening then depart to our own homes. He was quite happy how he had come up with a perfect “relationship”. It didn’t resonate with me as I enjoy the idea of a partner which includes travel, future plans (I believe in growth as a senior) and just puttering around the house as a couple, coffee and chats in the morning etc. Here is how it’s going for me now: I am currently with my ex. He and I have separate bedrooms as, like you, I wake in the night and do what I want -coffee, cross stitch, read and/or watch a movie, I prefer not to fight wakefulness, I can always take a nap. So far, it’s working as neither of us is seeking a different life. If that were to occur then we deal with it. My kids (I have four living fully lives) don’t comment on my choice and are glad that I am not alone. What matters is that I am comfortable with it. He contributes to the household both monetarily and maintenance (he is a general contractor-funny about parallel lives). It makes my life in my wee house a bit easier and that makes me happy. Hugs Cindy. And as I always say, “You do you, boo” 💕
Regarding God’s Word on sex outside of a legal marriage: Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be honorable among all, and let the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers. 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality! Every other sin that a man may commit is outside his body, but whoever practices sexual immorality is sinning against his own body. Cindy, thank you for sharing your story. I can really relate to it. I am recovering from the pain and trauma of divorce. I was the same age as you when my ex-husband said he wanted a divorce. I have been divorced almost 2 years. It is my faith and complete trust in God that has gotten me through it.
I agree with you. You are right to error on the side of God. I am in a similar situation and being divorced is not easy. But I have to make the best of it. I know God has a plan for your life. ❤
I would respectfully disagree, relating my own experience. I have never been through something as traumatic and deeply heartbreaking as our divorce, nothing. We were married for 30 years, and raised 4 wonderful children. It's been 14 years now since the divorce. For many years I grieved, the loss of our marriage, home, the unity of our family, the person that was my God given companion, my support, many fond memories of the life we built together and the loss of our future together. In some ways it is almost worse than death because he is still living (and remarried) and I can't pick up the phone and talk with him. My experience seems very similar to losing someone through death.
@@lindaburns9762you were blessed to be in a happy marriage. I know plenty of older couples that are miserable and have been estranged in their marriage for years. I also know plenty of abused women that were verbally and emotionally abused for 40 years and were finally relieved to be free and widowed. Obviously not the case in a healthy and loving relationship. The point I’m making is that widows get sympathy regardless of the circumstances whereas divorcees don’t. Most of the time…..not always of course!
@jazzyflorida3757 yes, I certainly agree. There is NO support for the divorced. But if there is a death of a spouse, many will support and comfort. It's made me so much more aware of the loss and needs for those among us going through a divorce and facing heartbreak alone, with no sympathy.
Cindy, this was a beautiful video your best video reflecting on your divorce. You express some deep reflections, regrets and faults which show real growth. Warmest wishes for a bright future & peace and joy in the new year 🎉.
You are so inspirational and brave. Sometimes it becomes unbearable to live with someone. I can imagine that those that judge you and criticize are perhaps secretly jealous of your courage. You can still feel alone if you are with a partner - they become like a ghost around the house. They are there for you but not really. I pray that you find a courageous knight who will appreciate you. As far as your daughter am sure there was a mourning period. A child’s dream no matter what is always to see their parents together but they move on too and sometimes make decisions that are not exactly what we wish for them and we mourn that too. Much luck to you and as I said your optimism and courage are inspirational.
In my case, both my adult children were relieved when I separated from their father. Living far away from us, they were always worried about how he was treating me when they weren't around because they had witnessed his attitude towards me when they were visiting. No physical abuse but psychological abuse. After 8 years separated, I have met a wonderful man who respects me and loves me as I am. We are both very happy although not living together. We live apart and enjoy both the togetherness and the time by ourselves. We are both 78! It's never too late to find happiness. ☺️🙏
Such a good conversation, Cindy. You are open and honest, and so helpful to many in our situation. I relate to you a lot! I too am a Christian. These are hard truths and part of our journey…the good, the bad and the ugly. You have done a great job making a full life for yourself. Que sera sera…enjoy your life and kudos to you!
Hi Cindy, I was scrolling through TH-cam and came across your video. I can relate to so much of story. I’ve been divorced for 13 years now and it has been difficult at times but I find other activities to focus on. I just subscribed to your channel and look forward to your journey ahead.
I was married and he was cheating on me. I wanted to get marriage counseling but he wouldn't do it. We've known each other since 1995 and married in 2002 and divorced in 2017. We are amicable but not very close anymore. I am 58 now and suffering with deep depression. Thank God for my therapist and my meds lol. You are a strong beautiful woman. Let's focus on the people who we do have in our lives and above that God's love for us. We are so not alone.
Hi, I just found your channel today. Thank you for taking a stand about living a biblical life style. The Christian church has become lax on so many issues that are clearly laid out in scripture. Living together outside of marriage has become an acceptable sin in the church. That cheapens God’s grace to us. Jesus gave up so much to save us. His grace is truly amazing.
Oh my, I can’t imagine. The algorithm gave me this. I’m old and a widower, this was meant for me to see to wake me up to the realities of women in my age group. I don’t know what to think.
You might want to discuss your concerns with your spiritual leader…a divorce is no less a sin than intimacy with an unmarried partner. I appreciate you sharing your perspective and being transparent and I hope you find the right relationship for you!
I’m 71 and single. It has advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes I get weepy, low, but after feeling sorry for myself, I have to figure a way out of this mood. I go to senior groups, started crocheting, started flute lessons, and have my craft business. You have to get up and goooooooo. I do this for my kids and my GK’s bc they are my joy.
the emotions that existed at that time are gone, therefore trying to evaluate the whys and wherefores isnt truly possible, you did what needed to be done at the time, now life is comfortable but somewhat empty, understandable, however what would life be with your ex, questioning whether leaving wouldnt have been better, age brings these thoughts no matter the circumstances, dont dwell on the past just wasted energy, glad you brought up the honesty of life decisions, not discussed enough, thanks
Can totally relate Cindy! Late 60’s here, divorced, and have my elderly mother living with me. Being her caregiver has “scared away” a few suitors. I hold your beliefs about intimacy before marriage, and know that few men our age agree on that. And most older gents, as you said, don’t want a legal marriage should the relationship progress. Given all of that, I’ve dated a fellow nearly 1.5 years who does agree with my beliefs; however, he stalls on making plans for marriage and says he’s waiting on “God’s timing”. Personally, although I’d love to have a good husband to share my life, I’ve decided to create my own happiness-moving to a larger, nicer place soon, going back to work part-time etc. I’ve realized that I have to make my own good times, possibly without a mate.
Divorced last year at 59. Separated years before the divorce. I've loved it. The freedom to come & go, travel, buy what i want, eat what & when i want w/o thinking will this work for another person. Companionship is great. I truly don't believe i will marry again but i do love having a special someone to spend time with. Whether it is to go out or to stay in, it's fun. Having said that it isn't something I want to do 24/7. My friend has his place, I have mine. The phone calls, text & invites are a two way street. Everyone should do whatever they feel comfortable with. We all know when something feels right. Follow your ❤
There was a woman I knew, my great aunt's mom, who was 94, saying she couldn't do anything with the guy she was with at the nursing home, but might get someone younger if he died and that she could do whatever she wanted as both her kids were dead@@PatBlack-sj7tg .
I am 70 also. I have listened to your story. It would be good to hear his. Both of you are fortunate to have built in Palm Springs. This may be too much to ask, but could he do a video on this channel?
Hi, Cindy! Thank you for sharing your story, this is the first time hearing it too. You’ve taken good care of yourself, specifically, your mental state of being and financially being able to live outside of your bubble.Deciding to create a new life for yourself has worked out for you yet I’m sure there’s some women trying to figure it out. Good luck! This was good vlog as decided 🌼
You are brave…you are strong..you are intelligent.. I’ve been married almost 52 years and you shouldn’t care what people think or say REALLY 😊 life Obviously you’ve made the best of the situation and learned a lot along the way. Be proud of yourself. You made it. It may not be what you envisioned but we have to play the hand we’ve been dealt. It doesn’t define you, it’s just a part of your story. Devastation is part of the healing process. My husband and I separated 2 times during our marriage. It’s not easy but one day you will smile again and enjoy life. Go with your heart. It worked for me.
Cindy looks great period. She is cute as a button and takes great pride in self care. Love to you Cindy. Im 72 and married 34 yrs Its all good except he has no interest in sex. It freaks me out to think I will never have it again..
That’s funny because that’s exactly what I was thinking before I saw your comment she looks exactly around 54. She does not have the distinct tell tale look of having a face lift so she’s been blessed with good genes or it’s a good facelift. Have to wonder what had he started doing to warrant her getting a divorce from him. Alienation of affection so he’s off with a ?? yr old. This whole relationship business is sad where has the happiness gone where has the whole I promise to spend the rest of my life with you gone? I don’t know !!
I met my husband at 16, he was 26. We had 41 years together before I lost him 6 years ago. The grief damn near killed me and I was hoping it would. I don't have any friends except my dogs.😅
@@LillyMarz777maybe try a church group, senior citizens group in your area. How about a dog group? Meet people in a dog park. Try local meet up groups. ❤
Cindy , thank you for sharing your story. I always love your videos! I'm 62 and widowed. I did find love again and it's just different at our age. He lost his wife as well. It's a bit more complicated at our age. We both have homes and our own retirement and keeping it all separate. We are more married without that piece of paper than more than a lot of married people we know! People shouldn't judge ! God knows our heart and we are living faithful to each other and so committed to one another. The legal piece of paper doesn't mean that marriage will be better than someone who is committed and act just like a married couple! I'm a wife and he's a husband to me without the paper. People may disagree and that's perfectly fine . My husband and I feel truly blessed to have found love again at our age. We both had sadness from losing a spouse through death. Our grown children are happy for us. Life is short! ❤
I would stick with remarriage if you find someone to love and want an intimate relationship with but have a prenuptial agreement. When a couple is intimate it releases the oxytocin that binds them in “an attachment “ that really feels like marriage anyway. Marriage makes the commitment and makes you work things out. Just be sure you’re a good picker this time.
I’m fascinated by the decision to divorce so late. I left a 12 year marriage that was so toxic for me, but it took me 4 years after deciding it was not good to actually leave. It was so difficult for me to get out. That experience made me extremely careful about getting into another marriage because i knew that even if i choose the wrong person again, it’ll take me years to go out because that’s how I’m wired.
I sorta saw myself in a do or die place. I was at an emotional crossroads. I took the jump… looking back on things I do wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed. I won’t know but I have decided to make the decision I make the right decision.
Cindy, I can resonate with you on *SO* many levels! In my case, I was beyond miserable in the marriage, but I also knew that I signed a prenup. By the grace of God, I’m in a much better place now.
I don’t understand why anyone, especially another woman would make any negative comments? As women we should support each other. No matter what our political views are or differences in values. It takes strength to end a marriage & strength to make it work. & if you have nothing helpful or well meaning just keep it to yourself. And Cindy, I am 53 plus divorced but thank God I have a career because we lost money in the house we had nothing to split. and I’ve had other relationships since and right now I am living with a man. He asked me to move in and he’s been very generous to me, but we found out that we’re not good as a couple so I help him out with his business he pays me and life is good. but honestly, I don’t think unless I reallyfind someone or they come up to me. I’m kind of done looking and I believe in love I believe in romance, but I’m just kinda working on myself right now. so to each their own good luck to all of us may we live in peace and love.❤😊
You did good Cindy. The universe was telling you to release and let go. You bought just in time before prices skyrocketed. And you have created your new life in your third and final act. People are very sympathetic to “widowers” even when the surviving spouse was living a miserable existence and couldn’t stand their spouses for years. I know plenty of widows that were relieved to finally be free! Just an observation I’ve made. Divorcees don’t ever get much empathy- especially silver divorces which are on the rise! Not that uncommon btw
So sad 43 years what happened..My wife of 30 years just passed.My best friend ,the love of my life.More in love every year I would cut off my right arm to have her back! Divorced is nothing like death!!! Not even close!! You chose it! We married our selves in the only eyes of the people that mattered, ours.Being solo sucks life is so much better shared.
And it is also heartbreaking and telling on his part that he did not fight for you. From what you have shared, it seems he treated the marriage like a business arrangement instead of a romance and that, to me, would be like a slow death.
Marriage comes with ups and downs and they ain't all between the sheets. People that divorce better think about what it is like to have to do everything alone. Cats and dogs don't pay the bills, fix the car, or mow the lawn. Think before you jump...
I understand divorce after 10 years of marriage but why would a bad marriage last 43 years? My marriage ended after 35 years because my wife died. My marriage was a difficult half failed marriage but the half of our marriage that did not fail was too special to be disparaged because of the areas in which our marriage was not successful.
I have ended my marriage of 55 years.He became a totally different personality after 4 strokes.He became abusive, nasty, and violent blaming me for his ill health. I am 74 so whatever time I have left I want a safe peaceful life.
Good for you 🙏🏻👍🏻
Oh my God. I'm going through the same thing. Been married almost 17 years. The last three years have been really rough. He had a brain tumor removed in September and since he's been home he's the devil himself. Yelling, screaming, cursing, outbursts. Can't wait to get away from this nutjob. When he gets better and back on his feet I'm getting rid of him. I'm taking the "trash" out. And then my home will be peaceful again. Males for the most part are disgusting. Liars, cheaters, make messes all the time, abusers or a combo of the aforementioned. Walking, talking nightmares from h e ll
@@tina8796 you shouldn't accept emotional abuse. I realize it is caused by a medical condition but life is too short to live this way.
I celebrate those of us who choose peace and a better quality of life no matter how long the relationship was and what material things we might have to walk away from. A close family member was murdered because she was a very religious caring and loyal person thinking God would save her so she returned after having safely gotten away from an increasingly more violent situation and was murdered. He never served a day in prison for it though every one knew he did it. He proved to be a wicked person who secretly enjoyed watching her and us children suffer and cry though not many outside the family knew because she kept quiet. He actually became more treacherous and abusive to us children after she died but ever so helpful and kind to neighbors and strangers going on to spread lies to protect his image. It got back to us that he was telling those who inquired that she had committed suicide due to a terminal cancer diagnosis which was not true. She had no cancer but his family was wealthy and had power so he was protected. The traditions of suffering because of what onlookers might think or say as was once the custom needs to go. We must be wise and move forward with life no matter what people think after all what is the value of our lives? Thank you Cindy for sharing and getting people to discuss topics of concern that have been hidden for far too long. Length of time in misery and sometimes in danger should never be valued more than " the life more abundant", that was promised to us. ✨
@@tina8796
May I recommend not postponing or waiting “until he recovers”. That can take longer than you think. Or maybe he will pretend to not be recovering so you will stay and do everything. Life is short. Ask yourself if he would do the same for you? Would he care for you if the same illness happened to you?
Start the paperwork, file for separation so he won’t saddle bills onto you, collect all bank statements, legal documents,house, cars, assets, etc so if something disappears you will have evidence.
Start making your exit plan. Look for living arrangements, open your own credit cards and banking accounts in your own name. Ask friends what they did and learned so you won’t have to many shocks.
Start living your future and not caring (for him) in the past.
Good luck ❗️ And I’m sorry your in this situation.
I met the love of my life in my sixties! I was single, a practicing Christian and wanted a man who respected my beliefs and had similar values. We were married three years ago and I’ve never been happier. Never give up on the possibility of meeting your person. God hears our prayers
Thanks for sharing this. I get so discouraged with so much divorce today! I haven't dated in yrs every since my sons mother left randomly out of the blue one day. Honestly I still don't know why I'm guessing she fancied someone else a friend set her up with. However she was married and divorced within a year! We were together 5 yrs and I guess I was silly to think we would stay together forever! At 51 I'm finding the majority of women are taken, have given up on men or are just not good people but I know good ones are still out here and I pray that God will connect us.🙏
@vapeking466 Yes, we are but the awful world of "dating " is just something many of us can't handle. I became a widow at 49 and outside of a very FEW first dates, I knew it wasn't for me. I love people and getting to know them, but no matter what the man was like, age, hobbies or jobs, within a short while somehow, out of the blue, they would work the subject of sex into the conversation! Lol. You have to give them credit for their creativity!
whats a practicing Christian? either your in or not....
Good for you @helenebourgon3455
@@tj-2011Practicing daily what God's holy Word requires and teaches believers of the Holy Bible striving to be perfect with God's help.
Many claim to be by their names, but do not OBEY God's Commands
Cindy, it is obvious that you are still Suffering from the effects of your divorce from the sound of your voice. I was married young and worked at it for 18 years. My husband put in no effort and decided he preferred a different lifestyle. What did I lose from my divorce? Constant criticism, loss of sleep, loss of stress, and those two-faced frenemies. What I gained was confidence, pride in myself, my work and accomplishments. I gave thanks for the freedom to do/think/be who I really am. Giving up my big beautiful unhappy house (I sold it furnished, too) was such a relief. Every situation is different but not dealing with my ex's drama, cheating, and and abusive behavior was like being on vacation. I could have my OWN friends. I never wanted to remarry. I dated a lot but abt 6 yrs ago I said I dont need this in my life. YOU ARE ENOUGH! I wasnt going to compromise my beliefs and values for any one again. You are a beautiful, empathetic educated woman. What man/husband/partner has the right to expect more? You will find a lot of men want "a nurse with a purse" as my older friends used to tell
me. Too many times they were correct. in your previous videos you sounded busy, active, and open to new adventures. Consider your freedom a
blessing and take it one day at a time. Sounds like you are doing great!❤️
Great advice! 🎉 Glad you are happy & free now! ❤
@cherylberk4593 you are a wise woman, and I wish you all the best in life.
Thank you for sharing your story. Very insightful. I'm going through a divorce after 28 years of marriage/relationship. Best wishes to you! ✨💕✨
So beautifully stated, thank you. ❤
“A nurse with a purse”! I love that! So true!!
I’m 66 in January. I’ve been married 40 years. We have three grown children and 4 grandchildren. My marriage has been very hard and I am leaving my husband. He’s finally agreeing to it. I’m a Christian too. But it’s been a long time coming. He is not a believer.The reasons I’m leaving him not for sexual infidelity, but betrayal, alienation of affections, coldness, and he left the marriage many years ago, even though his body is still here in our house. He does not love me. In fact I think he doesn’t even like me. He’s also abusive of at times verbally cruel. He sites with my children and lies about me to my grandchild. The final betrayal. And I can’t take it anymore.
❤ Glad you have found the strength and courage to finally do what is best for you. Take Care and God Bless, you've got this!
Good for you that you are finally leaving the marriage. You will find peace severing the ties either your husband and any friends or relatives who support him. It is not an easy path but it is the right one and the Lord will be with you every step of the way. You’ve got this!
Stay strong and maintain your course and as time passes, like an onion each layer of nonsense that was once the norm will be shown to you as the disrespectful crap it always was. I am at 2.5 years post divorce and while it hasn’t always been easy, I know in my soul that it was absolutely the best choice for me. I’m getting my new normal perfected!
I divorvced at 47. Im now 67. Its been a rough road but well worth it. You are a lovely person with a great message.
Divorce is an ending without an ending. I divorced more than 20 years ago, in my early 40s, when my daughters were 9 and 5. I raised my daughters to be independent and strong women. In the early years, there was a sorrow that visited us from time to time, but our home was full of love and happiness. No regrets. I did have a beautiful relationship, post-divorce, with my soulmate. We loved each other for 14 years, until his passing 7 years ago. He is the one that I cannot replace. I'm so grateful to have been blessed with his love in my lifetime. Now, I enjoy life with my children, a beautiful grandson and my beautiful 90 y/o Mom. God bless you always, Cindy! Thanks for sharing your stories and treasures. ❤
I am a widow, so was single after 49 yrs of marriage. For me it is now three plus years. I have no desire for a man in my life other than just a friend. It is just too complicated.
I know what you mean about the flip side of the empty house and loneliness. There is a joy in eating when and what you want and not having to explain everything you do.
I am an only child, parents have been gone over 25 years.
We were never social and I am quite frugal, so another reason I don’t want to have a partner to make financial decisions with.
Enjoy your dreams and freedom. I am not depressed and grief is very manageable but I can’t wait for the day I get to be with God, face to face.
Hugs,
Cindy from Oklahoma
That’s never going to happen so live your life to the fullest because this is it!
Sorry for your loss. I believe you will be reunited in heaven. As a matter of fact he is probably still around in spirit! He wants to know your ok! Some notice scents of those who passed or little signs. He still loves you! 🙏
May you be blessed in so many ways! I met my ex-husband at 18 and we dated for 5 years. We were married for 23 years. I decided to divorced him in 2014. As Dr. Phil said, " Id rather be lonely and single, than lonely in a marriage." I made the wrong decision in marrying him. God Almighty did not put he and I together. I've been divorced for 10 years and I'm enjoying my single life. Being on my own is definitely a learning experience.
You sound like the female version of me, I'm a widower (60), she died of cancer. I miss her but am not looking for anyone else either. Life is very simple and low cost as a single, and as an introvert I don't need the extra socialising you get as a couple, plus all the women my age are divorced and we all know the stats on 2nd marriages .
@ Exactly with the past too complicated,
I am so impressed with you right now, putting God first. Way to go Cindy
Cindy, I hear you. After 43 yrs my husband past away. I feel lost and out of place. I agree with you and the bible. The bible was written long ago but God knew we'd be reading it today. Don't let any one try to change your thinking just because they wanted to put a different spin on the bible. I am proud of you and I'm sure one day we will hear, Well done, my good and faithful servant. Sending a hug to you from Ohio.
I am in Ohio also❤
Wise words GOD is the same yesterday, today & tomorrow Amen 🙏🏻
What part of Ohio. I'm near Cincinnati.
@ Wooster❤️🙏 too bad we are not closer.
Me too I’m living a celibate life. It’s too risky out here to put your body and soul at risk. So happy to be free
Cindy, thank you for your honesty and transparency. No one lived in your house or lived your life. I find that sometimes I can downplay the bad memories and enhance the good ones, making me question past decisions. But, then I'll stumble upon an old email (or something else) that brings me back to reality and reminds me why I made the choice I did. You clearly did not make your decision in haste. Do not waste time on regrets.
Michellem, what words of wisdom you gave to Cindy. "downplaying the bad memories and enhancing the good ones....then questioning the past decisions". I loved this. I'm going to quote you! xxoo
Well stated
Well said. If I may add a thought, ending a relationship (man or woman) is not wholly about whether it is better for you, but also if it is better for your loved ones and close circle around you.
Cindy - I would encourage you as a Christian to pray and ask God directly for the man he wants you to have. Many years ago, and after a terrible marriage with a cheating husband, I was so desperately lonely. I remember getting on my knees by the side of my bed and crying out to God to send me someone that God knew would be good for me. Two months later, a young man moved into the apartment two doors down. We got to know each other slowly, dated three years and now married 30 years and what a blessing he has been. Big hugs from Biloxi, MS
😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇Prayers my friend...
I was married for 40 years, had a cheating husband. He remarried. I have not. Afraid of getting hurt again. Moved near my daughter and granddaughter, she asked me too. I moved to another state. I am sad all the time. My daughter does not help me. I wish I had never left my other house. I felt safe there. I had neighbors that helped and a church family. Everything is different here. I usually cry most the day
Bless you🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@Chris-fv3pk is gonna be ok, pray about this fully. I was in a state of schock for a year and it does get better I promise.
Awwe this hurt my feelings. Praying for you ❤️@@Chris-fv3pk
@@Chris-fv3pk If you can, make a change. You have to live your life, not your daughter's. Do whatever it takes for YOU to be happy. Keep asking God to show you a way and the way will be shown to you. Keep the faith my friend. Please wipe your eyes and know that even strangers care for you. Big hugs from Biloxi, MS
Cindy that was a very good explanation to how you are feeling about your divorce and being alone. I know it couldn't be easy to share that with us. I am 77 and have been divorced from my ex-husband for 24 years. He passed away 16 years ago. I left because he was physically abusive. I still loved him and still do now. He was my best friend and such a wonderful man and provider except for when he drank and got angry. He had mother issues as he was abused by her as a child. No excuse I know. We had many years of counseling sessions but in vain. I finally could not take it any longer, living the life of walking on eggshells all the time. I gave up a beautiful home in an exclusive neighborhood, a country club, plenty of money to travel, lots of friends and socializing. I moved to a condo and only took half of our belongings. He remarried within a year, and they built a new house together and when he passed, she sold it and bought a new house in Hawaii. His widow is doing much better than me financially as they had a successful eight years together whereas my standard of living went downhill considerably. I guess I made the right decision as I am still alive and who knows if I would be if I had stayed.
So grateful to run across your video this morning! At 64, I’ve been divorced 16 years. I raised my 2 kids alone. Being married, I was a single parent. Hunting and fishing were always more important than us. My children are now 32 and 28 and both have beautiful families and great careers. when I decided to divorce, like you said, I was hurting so bad that I couldn’t see how much my children were hurting. This led to a 14 year drug addiction for my son, in and out of jails, fines, etc. BUT GOD had a plan for his life & he is now a ordained minister and runs a long term, faith-based, rehabilitation center and is an ordained minister with four children and a beautiful wife. I never realized all the things that I would lose by walking out on our marriage. My mother will be gone three years in January, and the last five years of her life, I lived with her when she came down with a terminal illness. I now live in the family home that I grew up in, and I am beyond grateful to have it. I left my job of almost 20 years in May due to a boss who was making my job unbearable. So here I am in retirement a year early and really don’t know what to do with myself. I live in rural Arkansas, and have several lady friends that get together. So that helps. But most of the time I am alone. 😢. I should get out more often than I do and have plenty of invitations, I just don’t go because it takes so much effort to get ready. I lost my only sibling, my brother, just a few weeks ago. So this holiday season I am finding it really hard. I thank you for sharing your story. It helps.
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. So hard during the Christmas season😢
💔
Go out, say yes to those invitations - it's always better to do that. Consider a part-time job or new hobby. Mentioning these things in the spirit of wanting you to succeed. ❤
@@savvysally6564 Thank you for the positive encouragement. I do want to live a life to its fullest and not be stuck in this house every day.
Been married 44 years. Yes, I can relate!
Stay true to your convictions.
Seek out other believers.
You are a precious gem!
Dear Cindy - You are such a treasure. Thank you for being so transparent in your thoughts.
We love you ✨💖✨
This video is a thought-provoking subject. I'm so glad you are so honest. My own life and choices I made are very similar to yours. The same thoughts and decisions have been there for me also. Please continue to put out this type of content. We all need to see the good and the bad of divorce.
Great discussion. As I have gotten older I could kick myself for listening and taking on other people's criticisms because I didn't want to be judged. Where are those people now. Not in my life at all. Take every opportunity to go and meet new people and show that great personality you have
Cindy, everyone’s situation is different. I’m 71, and have been a widow for 13 years. My husband died suddenly after 38 years of marriage. I still miss him everyday, but I have NO desire to EVER marry again. I truly enjoy the life I live now!…However, if I ever met someone, I don’t feel that I’d need to discuss our private life with anyone. It’s simply no one’s business. When my mother died, my dad started seeing a lady within a few months. He told me that he was going to have to marry her because she wouldn’t live with him, “in sin”. He married the lady 3 months after my mother died. They were absolutely MISERABLE for 9 years! Until he died. They both said they NEVER should have married. For all sorts of reasons!…I remember thinking that they wouldn’t have married if she hadn’t had the idea of not “living in sin”! What a mess! So many people have messed their entire lives up caring what other people think about that. I could care less what others, especially older people, do in their private life! Life is too short to live it caring what others think. ❤
I lost my wife unexpectedly at the doctors hand. We were together 46 years after only 6 months of dating. I’ve been completely lost now after 5 years. Everyone has their story.
sharing the story makes it a little easier, we feel your heart
I’m so sorry for your loss! It was such a long time together, and it must feel like a part of your own body has gone, too.
I call them "devil Doctors"
Hi Cindy , I am a 74 yeay old widower and just found your channel. You have great content and touch on topics that I find very interesting. Even as a man I can relate and appreciate your journey. I look forward to watching more of your videos.
100 per cent Cindy. For the last couple of years you have absolutely blossomed and become your own authentic self.
I overheard two older ladies abouy your age talking in Walgreens the other day. One said "I give up, all men our age just want a nurse with a purse" 😅
That's what women want too. Why would anybody get get married if you didn't expect to support and help one another? That's whatt marriage is!
Love it 😍
@@PthaloGreen2 but it’s not based on love, it’s using her.
@@dittohead7044 every marriage has transactional properties. It's a fiduciary relationship.
I’m more afraid of the gold diggers after my husband. I warn him about it all the time. These young women they want wam, bang! And that only happens when you’re young. He’d have a lot of trouble finding anyone who wants to deal with it. Better have a pre-nup for sure.
Stand by and live by your Christian beliefs! If you meet a Christian man that falls in love with you, he will have the same convictions that you have. And if it is God’s will, and you both love each other and unite in marriage, it will be the most amazing and blessed union! I may sound old fashioned, but I have learned from many mistakes in my life, mistakes that I am not proud of. I, too, am divorced and your age as well. I have turned back to living a Christian life and have repented of my past actions and feel peace now. I won’t compromise my core beliefs again.Good luck to you, Cindy! God will bless your new life. I look forward to following your channel.
yes stick to Christian beliefs and be intimate only after marriage
I've repented of my past as well. I'm so grateful that Jesus Christ knows my heart and He forgets our repented sins. Jeremiah 31:34
"I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more"
Cindy, I always love your videos! As I’ve stated before, you and I have a lot in common. I was an early primary teacher in a NJ public school for 40 years ! I was married for 50 years. My husband had Front.Temp. Dementia and passed in June of 2022. Our 2 sons are grown, married and on their own, so I am an “independent free spirit” ! I am fortunate to have many friends who are single,by divorce death or choice. We go on many day trips,social occasions and family get togethers. I belong to 2 retired educators associations for 2 counties(one where I taught,one where I live) We are both fortunate(you and I) to have good general health! You inspire me on so many levels! I follow your decor advice ,as well as your beauty &fashion examples . After raising a busy family, teaching, working on many professional organizations, I am happy to be on my own ! Cherish your “singleness” and reflect on your many happy memories of raising your daughter ! Continue to share your adventures, advice and fun ! You are a wonderful role model ,as I approach 75 on my next birthday !!🥳
My sister has lived in a large (950 households) upscale 55+ community for 6 years. The number of residents who have gotten married to another resident and then soon after gotten divorced is shocking. I’ve thought about it a lot and have come to the conclusion that religion is the only reason an older pairing would take the next step and voluntarily invite the judicial system into their lives, i.e. get married in the eyes of the government. It’s a hard dilemma that each person must address in their own mind. The shocking percentage of failed new marriages has the effect of hardening the resolve of many singles to NEVER remarry.
And many seniors fear losing their benefits and/or assets in a new marriage. The old saying always plays in my mind, older men many times are looking for a nurse or a purse. I am not interested in a relationship, but if I was it would not include marriage or co-habitation. We would keep our respective homes and assets separate and visit when we felt like it, travel, etc.
@@buffycat4641 I think it's called living together apart. Smart !!
@@truthboomertruthbomber5125,exactly! That's how my partner and I live. And we are both happy.☺️
Hi, Cindy. Just found your channel and subscribed. Your authenticity is admirable. I’m in my 50’s and married. The Word of God is immortal. It transcends all time. So, you are right in what you said about marriage and intimacy before God. That will never change. Blessings, my friend.
I have had a similar experience Cindy and can relate to everything you talked about. I haven’t remarried and at 70 I don’t want to get married. I’m so independent and content with my life. I have children and grandchildren close by so that helps and I still work part time from home. I admire your commitment to your beliefs. It’s very rare and shows that you are a classy lady. Enjoy the weekend . By the way, are you putting up a Christmas tree?🎄
@laural1165 Can I ask what you do part time from home because I will be retiring in July and would like a part time job from home? Thank you in advance for sharing.
@ I’m actually an advocate/consultant for seniors 🙂
Dear Cindy, I have been a widow for 28 years and also believe in the law of chastity. Stick to what you know is right, God is the same now as always, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I commend you for even discussing the topic with your viewers, I have a lot of respect for you! ❤️
Do you also believe that divorce is a sin as the Bible states???
@@gabbys7719 I believe it is, unless there is abuse. we all sin and can have redemption from all sin. We continually sin until we die. My son as a believer got a divorce, I was heartbroken but he is now remarried with children and I pray he will not repeat that. He is now closer to God than before.
@SF-cb7ep so many interpretations of the Bible.
@@gabbys7719
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Mark 10:2
Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.
Mark 10:4
They said, "Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY."
1 Corinthians 7:11
(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:12
Well said! 💖
I have been single since I was 48 and I am 75 now. I rather be single than be in an alcoholic, abusive relationship. The Bible hasn’t changed. We have changed. Stay strong to your beliefs. Heaven will be worth it n
Amen!😊
Maybe I missed something - as to why she divorced her husband of 43 years.
Was he beating her?
Was he cheating on her?
Was he gambling, drinking and or doing drugs?
Was he verbally, and socially abusing her?
Was it because she was unhappy?
I agree. What was the real reason for her divorce?
I think he didn’t want to go out and do things like dancing and more night life. She mentioned that one time?
@@janetbur7609 if that is the reason, she had no biblical justification for divorce
Ronald Reagan said one of his biggest regrets as governor of California was signing the first No Fault Divorce Laws…stop making this woman out to be some kind of hero for divorcing her husband….shame on her and all the woman that leave their husband because they are not happy…if any woman had joy - real joy in her heart there would be no question about being happy or not…as soon as married life gets a few ups and downs woman run for the door…it has been my life experience has been wives go to their mother, their sister, their co-workers their girlfriends and complain about their husband instead of going to their husband confront him…
I was in my local family restaurants the other night and in the booth behind me was two middle aged ladies…for the two hours I sat through dinner my friend I overheard these two woman shredding their husbands to each other…really nice. That’s how it’s done..telling everyone else whats wrong except their spouse….next comes being blindsided with divorce papers.
One final point the only contract that can broken by one party is a marriage contract…let that sink in. Try and call the bank and tell them you’re breaking the auto contract because you’re not happy and not only I’m not happy but I’m breaking the contract and I’m keeping the car…nice job feminist of America….destruction is all you woman bring…
I think you are amazing and strong for making such a huge life change later in life. Not many people would be that brave. You were true to your journey. Amazing actually. Many blessings to you and I hope you find joy. 🏵️
I agree. Cindy was bold & brave to change her life for the better at age 68. Not many would do it
My first marriage lasted 12 years. My ex was cheating on me, sexting videos and pics to another man whom she once had a relationship with. He was married as well. Zero tolerance for this. It's a lack of integrity and respect towards me. I also won custody of my son (when he was 8 years old at the time). Tells you the kind of "human being" she is. I've since remarried since 2018 to my best friend. We're a clone of another, knew another from work for several years. She compliments me, and I her. She has integrity as do I. Without it, there's no foundation to build upon.
Being single, has many advantages. The word 'compromise' usually means giving up who one is to satisfy the desires of the other person, though obviously that's not always true. Being able to do what one wants, when one feels like it should not be under-rated. A loss of financial wealth may be the downside in some cases but even that can be overcome. As an older person, having few friends makes life easier, less complicated, being selective is a good thing. Single people being friends with married couples is usually not sustainable. You sound wealthy enough that you can maintain a high standard of living for yourself, not everyone is as fortunate.
Cindy, I appreciate the video. I’m alone, too. It is so lonely. Getting your divorce seems like it was hard but you had to try for happiness. I want romance, too. You’ll find it, you’re too sweet. Best of luck and you are an inspiration to me.
What area are you from, if I may ask?
@ east Texas
@@josalmon4742 how do you like living in Texas?
Hi Cindy, I really needed to hear this discussion with you today. I agree with you about living together versus marriage. I am curious though, did you divorce for biblical reasons? I was married for 32 years and when my divorce was finalized, I was 62 years old. My life has changed drastically. The changes I have encountered are maintaining my house, repairs, landscaping, company for dinner, holidays with our son, going from couple status to single status, becoming invisible, being retired to now working full-time, having someone to go with you to doctors appointments, taking care of you when you are sick, etc. It's interesting...when you are married it almost says to the world you are loved by someone, when you are widowed it says to the world you were loved by someone, when you are are divorced it says to the world your someone didn't love you anymore.
I never saw someone being divorced as "not being loved anymore " but rather, they were not afraid to make the changes needed in spite of the consequences. Most divorces are initiated by women.
Who cares what "the world" thinks??!! AND, lots of people in marriages aren't "loved by someone".
Never care what other people think. Most people are not thinking about you or care what you do. Divorce shows you love and respect yourself if your husband was abusive. Start thinking about your own happiness now.
Don’t you think we also look back after a divorce and remember the good…..when it really wasn’t? I remember being so miserable at times and would not want to be back there for all of the money in the world. I am lucky because I love living by myself.
You are so beautiful and hope you never give up on love if that is what you want❤️
Great video!!
@@TexasGirl1633 what I did before my divorce was think I was in love with my husband. He was not a good husband but oh how I loved him. After my divorce I was able to redefine my emotions and have never looked back with anything but utter joy that I am divorced!!
I applaud you for sharing this personal information.
It certainly will help others going through similar situations.
Follow your heart and never question your beliefs.
You’re a strong woman.
I’ll be truthful, most strong healthy men our age want much younger women for wives and companions. The alternative, is an older man who will soon need a nurse, cook and caregiver. Enjoy your carefree lifestyle and continue to live life to the fullest as you have been doing. Don’t take a chance ruining it. Blessings!
Hello Cindy, Thank you for sharing your story. I filed for divorce in 2020 after 35 years of marriage. I felt the same as you and knowing life would be different. I had to choose me this time. I needed to release myself from the hurt and pain that was caused, that I could not change from a spouse’s decision to live a different life. I am happy to say, by keeping my heart open to love, live found me! I got married to a wonderful man who loves me like I have never experienced love before. We married on my 60th birthday in September 2022. I pray that you will find love again and that your latter days be greater than your former days. IJN
I think you are very pretty and a smart lady but i cant relate. Married 56 years to a wonderful man and good father. We have lost so many loved ones, including our beautiful daughter to breast cancer, that i count everyvday with him a blessing. I pray we have a few more years left but nothing is promised at our age. I wish you happiness 🌻
I know a relationship is hard work and happy for your good fortune but please be understanding. You may need the understanding of others one day. 💐
One thing you said really stands out, and that is the pondering question, would you have fallen into a deep, dark depression had you stayed. Instead, ask yourself, would things have gotten better had you stayed. If the answer is, probably not; then you know you made the right decision. You may say, “well, I will never know if things would have gotten better because I left.” There’s a reason you left, and I’m sure like many marriages that end, the decision was made because you realized things were not going to change. I hope you find the “right” companion if that’s what you feel is missing; which is natural. ❤
@AtHomeWithZaneR great advice.
I don't know what happened in their marriage of 43 years, but being married to a great man for 49 is inconceivable to be without! It's not always one sided. Sometimes I think people just get bored. It's not always about their spouse; it's something they are lacking. Though I am very happy with my man, he is not the one I should be depending on to make me happy. A new romance does not solve the problem. I've seen men and women seek a partner after a divorce or death and a lot of the times the marriage fails. Those are my thoughts and mine alone, but regardless I hope Cindy can find the happiness she so deserves.
Well said and said with kindness
So glad to find u !! I relate so much. I am a divorced 66 yr old. Divorced for 2 years. I experience all that u say. I am a follower of Jesus also. I am missing being a wife and I still am learning to live alone. I believe that the good that has come out of the divorce has been that my relationship with the Lord has grown so much!! However, I am still adjusting to the losses such as companionship, intimacy and much more. But God has been faithful and I know my future is in His Hands. I do not have the financial security that some have, but He does provide for me. I could write so much about the changes and phases one goes through but I will just say that there are many of us that find themselves in this place. I am endeavoring to find joy daily and am trying to learn that alone does not have to mean lonely. I'm better than I was but hope for more healing and more Peace with my situation. I am going to subscribe and will pray for u and others that are on here. I appreciate what Ive heard so far. 😊
I will pray for you Jean. Are you familiar with St. Padre Pio's prayer "Stay With Me Lord"? It is so beautiful and is for EVERYONE! Keep smiling! Life is such a joy! Especially in the small and humble things! 🌺🌻🌷
Just think, you get to be as happy as you want now! Friends, hobbies, travel, gardening, waking up to another beautiful day with God and maybe sweet furbabies. Would you let a man mess that up? ❤
Cindy you are a survivor no matter what happens in your life you will be okay.
Just follow your heart and do what makes you happy.❤️🌺
I totally understand your feelings . I live with my partner 9 months out of the year . He and I have a wonderful relationship and we are both better together without being married. The romantic part passes because of age We are still loving but as a 72 year old women and he being 80 we just laugh hug each other and roll over . Is that a sin? I think our Dear Lord has much more on his plate these days than judging us seniors for our bedroom activities. Just my thoughts. You are a very special lady . As far as men are concerned Christian or not they all want attention if you know what I mean.The 3 months we are apart has been good for both of us. The only part of our relationship that gets old is me cooking and some of his messes I have to admit I’m a lot more patient not being married. ❤Kris
God judges every part of our lives! Not just those we're ok with.
5:19 you are lucky, some divorces go so bad. I wish you much success with the next phase of your life. Awesome channel, great advice
You left out the part about not having a "handyman" around the house to help you deal with things that go wrong in the house - mechanical, electrical, plumbing, lifting heavy objects, etc., and knowing a man is there to make you feel secure and protected.
Maybe she is handy around the house?
@rpmnh How "handy" can you be when lifting heavy objects, cutting tree limbs, fixing a broken down mower, and a myriad of other things I could mention?
@ It depends upon how strong one is, how skilled, etc. regardless of gender.
@@rpmnh I'm not here to argue with you. In more cases than none, women need some kind of help with issues or other complications that arise in a home. You have a right to your viewpoint but do I. I know from personal first hand experience.
Really just depends. I grew up on a farm so had many 'handyman' skills passed down to me by my family. Also, my ex husband was 18 years older so I was the one who still had the strength and the energy to maintain most of the handyman responsibilities or we'd hire for outside help. Being around an elderly/aging man does not make one feel 'secure and protected'.
Loved finding your vid! So many things relatable! I’ve called l my ex “my one and only” not because he was the love of my life like the ‘60’s songs, but because although I appreciate having a marriage, I would never want to marry again! So many reasons…but a big one is because of the financial intertwining! I supported him and his shenanigans for most of our marriage and now without him I am financially secure. Another biggie…He beat down my self esteem even when I was young and beautiful, so now, old and saggy I can’t imagine having romance!😂🤣
Financially intertwining is a huge deal. If done wrong it can be a did aster for out families.
@PalmSpringsCindy This is another reason to give marriage serious consideration. Imagine a man you've only been married to a short time inheriting what you've worked so hard for instead of your daughter inheriting it. Or, deciding to divorce you and not being as amicable about it as your ex was. We are too old to start over. I will never remarry for these reasons
I have followed you since you were first moving on from marriage. We are about the same age too. I can relate to everything you said. I have been married 47 years and I could scream daily at my husband but I am not going to leave because we do still laugh when I start to get angry. Usually it is about silly stuff. My house also sometimes feels like I am choking but then I go through a rage cleaning and I feel better. I know what you mean about having someone in the house. I have nurtured 3 generations now myself, 4 if you count taking care of my mother til her death. I want someone here to take care of me even with the snoring and the selfish man behavior.. I do not need his money because like you, I have my own.
I envy you. You sound like a great gal
At 70 it would take a hella lot for me to leave my husband. Nearly impossible to find someone over 70. Most of the men are left overs other women don't want, and if the man is an eligible bachelor would had a good career, they are looking for younger women, and they can get them. Nope, I will take the good and the bad and stick with my husband who is my best friend.
Why the heck would you wnat to find someone at 70. It is OK to be alone and damn peaceful on top of it.
It's a little pitiful that you cannot fathom being WITHOUT a man, to be YOUR man.
Yep....do the safe thing honey.
PRE-NUP if you meet someone.
I have been married once for only 5 years that was enough got divorced and have been single ever since best decision I made
I so admire your Christian commitment. Yes, you are 100% correct about what the Bible says about intimacy. You’re bold and brave. You will indeed get a lot of flack concerning that, but stand firm. ❤
Sad that one would let a book dictate your life.
Hey Cindy- I’m a 60 year old lady from NC who frequents your channel. The fact that you shared such personal situations with the public is quite humbling and very brave of you. Not one of us can change our past no matter how we may want to try so we need to just be thankful for its memories for what once was and what we’ve learned on that journey. BUT GOD- You are soo right on that! You keep on pleasing Jesus in everything you do and let HIM take care of the rest of your life. He knows EXACTLY what we need and He surely loves just spending time one-on-one with us each day as well❤. Please don’t compromise your beliefs and values for anyone! 18:05 You are a true lady who many of us on the other side of the screen admire. Your Precious to God Cindy and He is just refining & molding you into a more Precious jewel for His glory through all this. May you have a Blessed and fulfilled Christmas 🎄 ❤. Proverbs 3: 5-6. Much Love from NC
💖
God's word NEVER changes. Dont let Satan tell you otherwise.
Lipstick looks beautiful on you. Much better than the dark red❤
Judy from Bham here. My husband died suddenly after 47 years. The Word of God still stands after 2000 years despite. I was told that I was behind the times. I am trusting God in this situation. He knows our situation and is worthy of our trust. Be content in whatever situation you find yourself. Stay in the Word . ❤
Hello Cindy!!
I live not far from you at Loma Linda.I got separated on 2020, now going into divorce. To find you is an enormous bless…Lots of love for you! And thank you so much for sharing ♥️♥️♥️
I agree 100 percent...I heard after the third date the sex starts...NOT here...much love to you...
It’s a complicated and thought provoking topic. I was married 20 years and he had an addiction. I divorced for the safety of my son and myself . Years later he passed away . When we divorce there is a grieving time because especially in a long marriage it was a part of our identity . I have remained single and now 70I have dated here and there and oh my gosh it was horrible. The quality of men seems so poor. I have not dated for several years and I do not feel lonely . I feel as though God knows my needs and honestly it has been my time for self discovery peace healing due to other traumatic events I have had along the way . For me a man is not responsible for my happiness or joy. Some men at this age want a caretaker . Speaking for myself I really stay in the moment finding the joy and peace making my apartment my sanctuary praying for my son and keeping myself healthy and overall gratitude. Keep leaning into God he knows our hearts and what is best ❤️
It’s in God’s hands. Don’t stress or worry about it. Remember, there is a wonderful Christian lady on TH-cam who remarried at 80 years old/young at heart ❤️ they are so cute together. And if the right man doesn’t come into your life, it’s ok! There’s another lady in her 80’s who always tells me when I get depressed over not being married, she says find a need & fill it. Volunteering, so many different areas to volunteer in 😊 💖
Yes I watch her because my sister is alone in her 60s and has given up so I try to inspire her by mentioning that lady.
@ 💖
She’s a beautiful sweet soul
You are having a hard time and I am sorry. You seem very sincere. You did what you felt you had to do. Hang in there! You surely will find someone. I'm a 75 year old man who lost my wife nearly 11 years ago. The quietness in the house is deafening. It's difficult when like you I want to be with someone but anyone isn't good enough.
Hello Cindy. I completely understand your position. I have had men offer to be my long term “date”. As he described it: out to dinner as a couple and an intimate evening then depart to our own homes. He was quite happy how he had come up with a perfect “relationship”.
It didn’t resonate with me as I enjoy the idea of a partner which includes travel, future plans (I believe in growth as a senior) and just puttering around the house as a couple, coffee and chats in the morning etc. Here is how it’s going for me now: I am currently with my ex. He and I have separate bedrooms as, like you, I wake in the night and do what I want -coffee, cross stitch, read and/or watch a movie, I prefer not to fight wakefulness, I can always take a nap. So far, it’s working as neither of us is seeking a different life. If that were to occur then we deal with it. My kids (I have four living fully lives) don’t comment on my choice and are glad that I am not alone. What matters is that I am comfortable with it. He contributes to the household both monetarily and maintenance (he is a general contractor-funny about parallel lives). It makes my life in my wee house a bit easier and that makes me happy. Hugs Cindy. And as I always say, “You do you, boo” 💕
Regarding God’s Word on sex outside of a legal marriage: Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be honorable among all, and let the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers. 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality! Every other sin that a man may commit is outside his body, but whoever practices sexual immorality is sinning against his own body.
Cindy, thank you for sharing your story. I can really relate to it. I am recovering from the pain and trauma of divorce. I was the same age as you when my ex-husband said he wanted a divorce. I have been divorced almost 2 years. It is my faith and complete trust in God that has gotten me through it.
I agree with you. You are right to error on the side of God. I am in a similar situation and being divorced is not easy. But I have to make the best of it. I know God has a plan for your life. ❤
You cannot compare a death to a divorce in any way.There is no choice with death!
Sometimes there is no choice in a divorce.
Widowers get sympathy, even if the surviving spouse couldn’t stand their spouse and lived miserable
I would respectfully disagree, relating my own experience. I have never been through something as traumatic and deeply heartbreaking as our divorce, nothing. We were married for 30 years, and raised 4 wonderful children. It's been 14 years now since the divorce. For many years I grieved, the loss of our marriage, home, the unity of our family, the person that was my God given companion, my support, many fond memories of the life we built together and the loss of our future together. In some ways it is almost worse than death because he is still living (and remarried) and I can't pick up the phone and talk with him. My experience seems very similar to losing someone through death.
@@lindaburns9762you were blessed to be in a happy marriage. I know plenty of older couples that are miserable and have been estranged in their marriage for years. I also know plenty of abused women that were verbally and emotionally abused for 40 years and were finally relieved to be free and widowed. Obviously not the case in a healthy and loving relationship. The point I’m making is that widows get sympathy regardless of the circumstances whereas divorcees don’t. Most of the time…..not always of course!
@jazzyflorida3757 yes, I certainly agree. There is NO support for the divorced. But if there is a death of a spouse, many will support and comfort. It's made me so much more aware of the loss and needs for those among us going through a divorce and facing heartbreak alone, with no sympathy.
Cindy, this was a beautiful video your best video reflecting on your divorce.
You express some deep reflections, regrets and faults which show real growth.
Warmest wishes for a bright future & peace and joy in the new year 🎉.
You are so inspirational and brave. Sometimes it becomes unbearable to live with someone. I can imagine that those that judge you and criticize are perhaps secretly jealous of your courage. You can still feel alone if you are with a partner - they become like a ghost around the house. They are there for you but not really. I pray that you find a courageous knight who will appreciate you. As far as your daughter am sure there was a mourning period. A child’s dream no matter what is always to see their parents together but they move on too and sometimes make decisions that are not exactly what we wish for them and we mourn that too. Much luck to you and as I said your optimism and courage are inspirational.
In my case, both my adult children were relieved when I separated from their father. Living far away from us, they were always worried about how he was treating me when they weren't around because they had witnessed his attitude towards me when they were visiting. No physical abuse but psychological abuse. After 8 years separated, I have met a wonderful man who respects me and loves me as I am. We are both very happy although not living together. We live apart and enjoy both the togetherness and the time by ourselves. We are both 78! It's never too late to find happiness.
☺️🙏
Such a good conversation, Cindy. You are open and honest, and so helpful to many in our situation. I relate to you a lot! I too am a Christian. These are hard truths and part of our journey…the good, the bad and the ugly. You have done a great job making a full life for yourself. Que sera sera…enjoy your life and kudos to you!
Hi Cindy, I was scrolling through TH-cam and came across your video. I can relate to so much of story. I’ve been divorced for 13 years now and it has been difficult at times but I find other activities to focus on. I just subscribed to your channel and look forward to your journey ahead.
I was married and he was cheating on me. I wanted to get marriage counseling but he wouldn't do it. We've known each other since 1995 and married in 2002 and divorced in 2017. We are amicable but not very close anymore. I am 58 now and suffering with deep depression. Thank God for my therapist and my meds lol. You are a strong beautiful woman. Let's focus on the people who we do have in our lives and above that God's love for us. We are so not alone.
Prayers for you. Take one step at a time toward healing.
Hi, I just found your channel today. Thank you for taking a stand about living a biblical life style. The Christian church has become lax on so many issues that are clearly laid out in scripture. Living together outside of marriage has become an acceptable sin in the church. That cheapens God’s grace to us. Jesus gave up so much to save us. His grace is truly amazing.
What was the main reason you came to the conclusion that getting a divorce was the best decision after so many years?
Oh my, I can’t imagine. The algorithm gave me this. I’m old and a widower, this was meant for me to see to wake me up to the realities of women in my age group. I don’t know what to think.
🙏
You might want to discuss your concerns with your spiritual leader…a divorce is no less a sin than intimacy with an unmarried partner. I appreciate you sharing your perspective and being transparent and I hope you find the right relationship for you!
I’m 71 and single. It has advantages and disadvantages.
Sometimes I get weepy, low, but after feeling sorry for myself, I have to figure a way out of this mood. I go to senior groups, started crocheting, started flute lessons, and have my craft business. You have to get up
and goooooooo. I do this for my kids and my GK’s bc they are my joy.
the emotions that existed at that time are gone, therefore trying to evaluate the whys and wherefores isnt truly possible, you did what needed to be done at the time, now life is comfortable but somewhat empty, understandable, however what would life be with your ex, questioning whether leaving wouldnt have been better, age brings these thoughts no matter the circumstances, dont dwell on the past just wasted energy,
glad you brought up the honesty of life decisions, not discussed enough, thanks
Very true
Can totally relate Cindy! Late 60’s here, divorced, and have my elderly mother living with me. Being her caregiver has “scared away” a few suitors. I hold your beliefs about intimacy before marriage, and know that few men our age agree on that. And most older gents, as you said, don’t want a legal marriage should the relationship progress. Given all of that, I’ve dated a fellow nearly 1.5 years who does agree with my beliefs; however, he stalls on making plans for marriage and says he’s waiting on “God’s timing”. Personally, although I’d love to have a good husband to share my life, I’ve decided to create my own happiness-moving to a larger, nicer place soon, going back to work part-time etc. I’ve realized that I have to make my own good times, possibly without a mate.
Divorced last year at 59. Separated years before the divorce. I've loved it. The freedom to come & go, travel, buy what i want, eat what & when i want w/o thinking will this work for another person. Companionship is great. I truly don't believe i will marry again but i do love having a special someone to spend time with. Whether it is to go out or to stay in, it's fun. Having said that it isn't something I want to do 24/7. My friend has his place, I have mine. The phone calls, text & invites are a two way street.
Everyone should do whatever they feel comfortable with. We all know when something feels right. Follow your ❤
I’m 76 and can’t ever imagine intimacy now although a companion might be nice to go out with. ❤
There was a woman I knew, my great aunt's mom, who was 94, saying she couldn't do anything with the guy she was with at the nursing home, but might get someone younger if he died and that she could do whatever she wanted as both her kids were dead@@PatBlack-sj7tg .
I am 70 also. I have listened to your story. It would be good to hear his. Both of you are fortunate to have built in Palm Springs. This may be too much to ask, but could he do a video on this channel?
Yes, would be nice to hear his perspective as well.
I appreciate how you stand up for your beliefs. I don't think you will regret it. I hope you find a good Christian husband.
Hi, Cindy! Thank you for sharing your story, this is the first time hearing it too. You’ve taken good care of yourself, specifically, your mental state of being and financially being able to live outside of your bubble.Deciding to create a new life for yourself has worked out for you yet I’m sure there’s some women trying to figure it out. Good luck! This was good vlog as decided 🌼
You are brave…you are strong..you are intelligent..
I’ve been married almost 52 years and you shouldn’t care what people think or say REALLY 😊 life Obviously you’ve made the best of the situation and learned a lot along the way. Be proud of yourself. You made it. It may not be what you envisioned but we have to play the hand we’ve been dealt. It doesn’t define you, it’s just a part of your story. Devastation is part of the healing process. My husband and I separated 2 times during our marriage. It’s not easy but one day you will smile again and enjoy life. Go with your heart. It worked for me.
You look good for 74. You could easily pass for 54.
Cindy looks great period. She is cute as a button and takes great pride in self care.
Love to you Cindy. Im 72 and married 34 yrs Its all good except he has no interest in sex. It freaks me out to think I will never have it again..
That’s funny because that’s exactly what I was thinking before I saw your comment she looks exactly around 54. She does not have the distinct tell tale look of having a face lift so she’s been blessed with good genes or it’s a good facelift. Have to wonder what had he started doing to warrant her getting a divorce from him. Alienation of affection so he’s off with a ?? yr old. This whole relationship business is sad where has the happiness gone where has the whole I promise to spend the rest of my life with you gone? I don’t know !!
She’s stunning ❤
Yes, Cindy is so beautiful. From the videos I've seen she's had 2 face lifts and is very open about this on her Channel.
Not hard to do when you engage a plastic surgeon. 😆
I met my husband at 16, he was 26. We had 41 years together before I lost him 6 years ago. The grief damn near killed me and I was hoping it would. I don't have any friends except my dogs.😅
Sorry to hear of your loss. Take care and blessings to you. Jo 💕
Im sorry for your loss. God Bless you and bring good friends into your life.
@@Peachpie123 God does bless me but the friends part is doubtful.
@@LillyMarz777maybe try a church group, senior citizens group in your area. How about a dog group? Meet people in a dog park. Try local meet up groups. ❤
Cindy , thank you for sharing your story. I always love your videos! I'm 62 and widowed. I did find love again and it's just different at our age. He lost his wife as well. It's a bit more complicated at our age. We both have homes and our own retirement and keeping it all separate. We are more married without that piece of paper than more than a lot of married people we know! People shouldn't judge ! God knows our heart and we are living faithful to each other and so committed to one another. The legal piece of paper doesn't mean that marriage will be better than someone who is committed and act just like a married couple! I'm a wife and he's a husband to me without the paper. People may disagree and that's perfectly fine . My husband and I feel truly blessed to have found love again at our age. We both had sadness from losing a spouse through death. Our grown children are happy for us. Life is short! ❤
Agree 100%
Perfectly put!
I would stick with remarriage if you find someone to love and want an intimate relationship with but have a prenuptial agreement. When a couple is intimate it releases the oxytocin that binds them in “an attachment “ that really feels like marriage anyway. Marriage makes the commitment and makes you work things out. Just be sure you’re a good picker this time.
Only God can judge no one else should not give your their opinion unless you want that.
I’m fascinated by the decision to divorce so late. I left a 12 year marriage that was so toxic for me, but it took me 4 years after deciding it was not good to actually leave. It was so difficult for me to get out. That experience made me extremely careful about getting into another marriage because i knew that even if i choose the wrong person again, it’ll take me years to go out because that’s how I’m wired.
I sorta saw myself in a do or die place. I was at an emotional crossroads. I took the jump… looking back on things I do wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed. I won’t know but I have decided to make the decision I make the right decision.
I think it took a lot of strength to do what you did. You seem happy and content now. No one has everything always.
Was it worth it? It depends on how bad the situation was.
Hi . I am 73 and have been married 53 years. Best Wishes to you!
Cindy, I can resonate with you on *SO* many levels! In my case, I was beyond miserable in the marriage, but I also knew that I signed a prenup. By the grace of God, I’m in a much better place now.
I signed a prenup too and left with only my personal possessions.
I don’t understand why anyone, especially another woman would make any negative comments? As women we should support each other. No matter what our political views are or differences in values. It takes strength to end a marriage & strength to make it work. & if you have nothing helpful or well meaning just keep it to yourself.
And Cindy, I am 53 plus divorced but thank God I have a career because we lost money in the house we had nothing to split. and I’ve had other relationships since and right now I am living with a man. He asked me to move in and he’s been very generous to me, but we found out that we’re not good as a couple so I help him out with his business he pays me and life is good. but honestly, I don’t think unless I reallyfind someone or they come up to me. I’m kind of done looking and I believe in love I believe in romance, but I’m just kinda working on myself right now. so to each their own good luck to all of us may we live in peace and love.❤😊
Well said.
You did good Cindy. The universe was telling you to release and let go. You bought just in time before prices skyrocketed. And you have created your new life in your third and final act. People are very sympathetic to “widowers” even when the surviving spouse was living a miserable existence and couldn’t stand their spouses for years. I know plenty of widows that were relieved to finally be free! Just an observation I’ve made. Divorcees don’t ever get much empathy- especially silver divorces which are on the rise! Not that uncommon btw
So sad 43 years what happened..My wife of 30 years just passed.My best friend ,the love of my life.More in love every year I would cut off my right arm to have her back! Divorced is nothing like death!!! Not even close!! You chose it! We married our selves in the only eyes of the people that mattered, ours.Being solo sucks life is so much better shared.
And it is also heartbreaking and telling on his part that he did not fight for you. From what you have shared, it seems he treated the marriage like a business arrangement instead of a romance and that, to me, would be like a slow death.
Marriage comes with ups and downs and they ain't all between the sheets. People that divorce better think about what it is like to have to do everything alone. Cats and dogs don't pay the bills, fix the car, or mow the lawn. Think before you jump...
I can totally relate to your message after having been divorced for 31 years. So glad to hear you share your faith.
Wow your story is so touching. I am sure all of us can relate to this. You are so strong. Admire you strength and faith
Cindy, I so appreciate your honesty! ❤
I understand divorce after 10 years of marriage but why would a bad marriage last 43 years?
My marriage ended after 35 years because my wife died. My marriage was a difficult half failed marriage but the half of our marriage that did not fail was too special to be disparaged because of the areas in which our marriage was not successful.
I don’t understand being a Christian and divorcing your husband? Somethings not right.
my ex is a practicing catholic. church annulled our marriage. Hypocrites. Don t practice what they preach.