Ep. 21 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 1.4K

  • @sirachasugar
    @sirachasugar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2417

    I can’t believe Bert’s special is just him reading Mein Kampf

    • @aroff595
      @aroff595 4 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      Obviously not true. Burnt can't read out loud.

    • @MonstaTimDubstep
      @MonstaTimDubstep 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Super racist tho

    • @tical0187
      @tical0187 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Siracha Sugar Well played :-) , Pröst! Berts Burnt variation destroys the Andy Kaufman read!

    • @patrickb1439
      @patrickb1439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      And I cant believe Tom has MAKEUP on in his

    • @sirforsa
      @sirforsa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @Ryan Sherlin Well I can only answer for myself, and partly for the KKK, but Burnt Crystal is just one step too far for the white supremacist community. It was always supposed to be an inclusive environment for us melatonin defficient, a force for the future if you will, and Berks behaviour is not acceptable on any level.

  • @shermangraves6715
    @shermangraves6715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +817

    Jesus, I was shocked when Bert said "The Trail of Tears was necessary."

    • @familiarsting4108
      @familiarsting4108 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Sherman Graves I wasn’t.

    • @Noone-jn3jp
      @Noone-jn3jp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      My issue was the statement “ ...too bad we’re not Russia, that country is way wider”
      Christ man

    • @calvini2860
      @calvini2860 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@nikolashoag942 which is why we should have left them where they were and not came and poisoned this land.

    • @xxxpyrosxxx
      @xxxpyrosxxx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Noone-jn3jp damn this is so mean, I kind of dig it.

    • @slados1
      @slados1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah, that was pretty bad... I agree with him on the gas chambers though!

  • @slasher6547
    @slasher6547 4 ปีที่แล้ว +584

    Good timing for this special to come out, everyone’s trapped at home

    • @iv6789
      @iv6789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Mine says it won't come put till tues

    • @edgar6368
      @edgar6368 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’ll watch repeat specials before I watch his

    • @Mr.Potato420
      @Mr.Potato420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have to work but lucky for me I don't have to be around people when working but I need money!

    • @biguprochester
      @biguprochester 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Perfect time for a cawk tease

    • @GK-qc5ry
      @GK-qc5ry 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Schulz said that he wanted to do this but the taping was next month.

  • @sfreimark1
    @sfreimark1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +232

    Bert's hat looks like he's the sound engineer for U2.

    • @nedaskcor7206
      @nedaskcor7206 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      If he shaves and throws on some glasses you’ll find him in u2 the sweetest thing video

  • @jpSmyC
    @jpSmyC 4 ปีที่แล้ว +797

    Bert looks like Smokey the bear shaved and put on weight.

    • @Born2BDown1981
      @Born2BDown1981 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That was my first thought too!

    • @KitchenerLeslie2
      @KitchenerLeslie2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      And developed a drinking problem, and racism.

    • @Kbwintyy
      @Kbwintyy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      j p they don’t call it two bears one cave for nothin

    • @devinlauwerier404
      @devinlauwerier404 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      *good comment sir.

    • @mrs.riche3939
      @mrs.riche3939 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      No he looks like Smokey with mage! Get that bear a vest and a badge!!!

  • @simongammelgaard9930
    @simongammelgaard9930 4 ปีที่แล้ว +819

    That is actually a sombrero Bert is wearing. He is just a little bloated...

    • @kevinl3254
      @kevinl3254 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Bertford and Buns amirite?

    • @kevindube7096
      @kevindube7096 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It’s the sodium

    • @DekkarJr
      @DekkarJr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@kevindube7096 and the alcohol bloat

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@DekkarJr Yeah ... in this episode, he seems to be right up there at the point in the past where Joey Diaz commented that he didn't recognise Bert he was so fat -- Joey thought he was a really fat Asian guy due to how Bert's eyes were down to tiny slits through a layer of face fat.

    • @kjcorder
      @kjcorder 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      smoked meats and booze for weeks on a tour bus will do that

  • @bridgerarnold6412
    @bridgerarnold6412 4 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    I love how Berts solution to profusely sweating during his special was, not to lose weight and get in shape....but to instead get half naked for the rest of his career 😂

    • @neverlistentome
      @neverlistentome 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      The man is an innovator if nothing else.

    • @hay7501
      @hay7501 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      He’s a jeenieus

    • @craigkoehler4363
      @craigkoehler4363 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He'll be dead within ten years.

    • @mrs.riche3939
      @mrs.riche3939 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      #solutions #problemsolver the CDC needs to hire him to spin COVID19

    • @HENSONnOZ
      @HENSONnOZ 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh man 😂😂😂

  • @calebtainter5088
    @calebtainter5088 4 ปีที่แล้ว +631

    Tom is so naturally pretty, I wish he didn't think he needed all that makeup

    • @SodaMehPop
      @SodaMehPop 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      @Devin McNulty
      the joke
      _______________
      You

    • @PerforatedPaperboy
      @PerforatedPaperboy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Devin McNulty search Tom segura make up

    • @travisyates5411
      @travisyates5411 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Devin McNulty probably the same as he felt before

    • @puddspudds5102
      @puddspudds5102 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Luscious lips Segura 👄

    • @colincamus2098
      @colincamus2098 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Devin McNulty boymaddummo

  • @notthatkindofdoctormatt1036
    @notthatkindofdoctormatt1036 4 ปีที่แล้ว +389

    Tom didn't even have to try to make Bert look like an alcoholic.

    • @shawnmcvey7789
      @shawnmcvey7789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bert did enough on his recent LOS appearance

    • @patrickb1439
      @patrickb1439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ....CUZ HE IS

    • @ethanking4954
      @ethanking4954 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He ran through those beers

    • @josef2012
      @josef2012 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Straight out da gate.

    • @devinlauwerier404
      @devinlauwerier404 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm literally reading this listening to him do that cheap no-name knife ad.

  • @JonVG
    @JonVG 4 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    Manscaped: Everybody knows Bert hates a Knicker.

    • @jessestumpf190
      @jessestumpf190 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Jesus, that’s perfect

    • @spencermanyet5336
      @spencermanyet5336 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Now THIS is why I read the comments!

    • @sirachasugar
      @sirachasugar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Bro, I don’t even deserve the likes I got on my comment, this is top tier

    • @JonVG
      @JonVG 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sirachasugar yours was great too, btw how is Berts german?

    • @sirachasugar
      @sirachasugar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      jonathan wallmark high and tight!

  • @Cyxz666
    @Cyxz666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    These two bears ain't hibernating during the end of the world, Bert's out here with a torch and hood leading the way

    • @xThePsychoNautx
      @xThePsychoNautx 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @83rdox COVID-19 = the boomer doomer

  • @sbordi
    @sbordi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    Underrated joke: Bert saying he almost named his dick Ernie

    • @laurav19
      @laurav19 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      HA I laughed when he said it but it only just clicked how clever it was lol

    • @mastergwaha
      @mastergwaha 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      i didnt even get it until i read your comment... amazing

  • @mitchellkruszewski2616
    @mitchellkruszewski2616 4 ปีที่แล้ว +237

    My tongue got caught in my teeth and I couldn’t hear this entire episode!

  • @vandelayindustriesreal
    @vandelayindustriesreal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The best part about this podcast is watching Tom set up audio clips with the way he reacts to things. Every glance at the camera is gold.

  • @Kris_Toffer
    @Kris_Toffer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +179

    2:43 for intro, 3:21 for actual episode.
    edit: 30:30 for ad break
    edit2: 58:50 for second

    • @TyLockton
      @TyLockton 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      thanks, thought I missed the sound bite setup.

    • @freddymeisner
      @freddymeisner 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I thought the ad breaks were pretty short this time thank the lord. Still wild they have 6 sponsors for each podcast lol

    • @metalfuk1
      @metalfuk1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      There’s always one of you in the comments. You’re true gentlemen.

    • @kraidur8693
      @kraidur8693 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    • @maxsilbert
      @maxsilbert 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hero

  • @garrettrubin6496
    @garrettrubin6496 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    This podcast: Tom facilitating Bert talking about himself.

  • @duck_poppa
    @duck_poppa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    Bert is slowly starting to look like the "MuhSHEEN" from Toms dance video. Dude is working out but doubling in size

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Bert's "Working Out" vision is exactly how working out is portrayed in old Bugs Bunny cartoons. He reckons he can shovel a ton of booze and shitty food into himself from Thursday to Sunday, then he goes for a run and hot spin and lifts a few weights on Monday, and he thinks he's whipped off that 65 pounds of gut fat, bloat, and artery hardening, and simultaneously, gotten pumped up, ripped, and "skinny". [Bert: "Skinny" is not a fitness goal. That's what happens when you're in a 3rd world country and can't find food to eat].

    • @duck_poppa
      @duck_poppa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SteveCossaboom After this Podcast he went and Worked out and I can tell you that someone like him with high blood pressure going and working out after drinking 4 to 5 beers his blood pressure was probably in the one nineties to 1 tueni range absolutely terrible even on medication.

    • @el.blanco552
      @el.blanco552 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You people are the reason he's so annoyingly concerned about his weight.

    • @duck_poppa
      @duck_poppa 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@orrytownes2766 that's the realest shit I have heard lol.

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@el.blanco552 The fact that he's a fat bastard, and almost everyone he knows or works with isn't, might also be a source of his concern!

  • @chrismagovern
    @chrismagovern 4 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    36:26 Bert: "Coronavi-- or I mean, not coronavirus. Rocco Siffredi ...."

  • @NFMorley
    @NFMorley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +350

    Tom looks different without makeup - i was hoping his transition into a geisha for his special was going to be a permanent one.

    • @willcollins3885
      @willcollins3885 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hahahahahhahahaha

    • @NFMorley
      @NFMorley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Also here's the 'old' trailer before Netflix decided to edit it! th-cam.com/video/A8Ph0JtOnns/w-d-xo.html

    • @EternalResonance
      @EternalResonance 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      now all you non proto following chomos know why he doesn't wear a shirt.

    • @EternalResonance
      @EternalResonance 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      dont treat your kid like a god tom. your own fault for making a narcissistic kid

    • @cbm3
      @cbm3 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wait he isnt wearing the makeup as a joke? Like that one Instagram cool dude who looks exactly like this? You guys know who Im talking about, but I cant remember his name now...

  • @chessboxtv
    @chessboxtv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    12:15 Bro. Can we talk about how much there is to unpack here? Bert's a damn wildman. Tom can basically relate to bert, but it's no secret that there's still quite a lot of distance there. Tom sits there, watching Bert's story turn so suddenly personal and vulnerable, and has no idea what to do. He just has to watch Bert work through these emotions that are coming through in this super Bert-ass way, and it clearly makes him uncomfy as shit. But he rolls. He lets Bert lead, and doesn't judge the man. The sigh at 12:19 is one of the most beautiful encapsulations of that facet of friendship I've ever witnessed. You gotta let your crazy friends have room dawg, like a wild horse or some shit. inspiring.

  • @RICHhomieFRY95
    @RICHhomieFRY95 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Glad you guys are still posting cause I don’t have shit to do but watch your videos now so here I am

  • @SunG0D936
    @SunG0D936 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That opening banter between them perfectly summarizes why Tom and Bert make good podcast cohosts. That was objectively funny

  • @92ireland92
    @92ireland92 4 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    Bert rented a storage unit to hold all the titos he has been hoarding for the coronavirus shut in

    • @whydochair9552
      @whydochair9552 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ireland I’m in you rn

    • @gator4458
      @gator4458 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If he is shut in how will he get to his storage unit?

  • @Southpaw_canvass
    @Southpaw_canvass 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    This podcast is the best one to watch every morning to put you in a good mood the rest of the day. Watching these two together and laughing just makes me so happy

  • @smelly1444
    @smelly1444 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    "WHY DO I HAVE TO BUY PANTS" -Burnt Kristen

  • @jennacryan
    @jennacryan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    at least their new netflix specials are coming out just in time for quarantine

  • @jopo7996
    @jopo7996 4 ปีที่แล้ว +261

    I hope Tom hasn't contracted Covid 19. His lips are usually a nice bright red when he's healthy.

    • @leathery420
      @leathery420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I don't think Burnt Crystals and healthy belong in the same sentence.

    • @jobbysandwich1797
      @jobbysandwich1797 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Covid-19 is the disease, SARS-CoV-2 is the virus

    • @patrickb1439
      @patrickb1439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I heard cov-19 gives you "makeup face" 💄🐷

    • @well_as_an_expert_id_say
      @well_as_an_expert_id_say 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Weird observation, but okay

    • @jonanderson5137
      @jonanderson5137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jopo not holding back on porcelain princess T-bunz

  • @CurleyMR
    @CurleyMR 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Bert, telling Flying Dildo's on Hot One's raises that episode to perhaps, my favorite of all time. I understand not being in control of your content can be scary and disappointing but to put in such a top notch performance on a platform that exposes you to folks outside your fan base is GOLD. That episode brought me to you. You just gotta papa seahorse it, birth your material, and hope it flourishes. If you have the bomb seed it will thrive, trust.

  • @ish474
    @ish474 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    The same reason you like realistic porn is why people love podcasts like this. Just two actual friends talking the way they actually talk

  • @johnathanhust4587
    @johnathanhust4587 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just watched your special Hey Big Boy. That was the first special in a long time where I watched the entire thing. Good job man!

  • @JohnnyDee8008
    @JohnnyDee8008 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The Rocco Suffretti story had me laughing to tears..... HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

  • @morqr8527
    @morqr8527 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Their friendship is so pure. Very high, super tight.

  • @bekahviolet
    @bekahviolet 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I just love nadavs laughter. Truly my favorite part,

  • @SycoActive
    @SycoActive 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    The special was awesome. Great job Bert. Can’t wait to see yours Tom. Keep up the great work guys!

  • @shehryar221
    @shehryar221 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I will never forget the phrase "you want this cooter? its gettin' hot n sticky"

  • @mornelinell5955
    @mornelinell5955 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I paused the podcast to watch the special...thank you Bert, it is the funniest thing I have seen in ages....brilliant...

  • @chriswitry6976
    @chriswitry6976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    At least we never have to worry about Bert catching Corona. He’s been training his whole life for immunity. Fine tuning your lungs at immeasurable laugh frequencies and using pool chlorine instead of shower soap is the only way

    • @RJ-ew7vj
      @RJ-ew7vj 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol ;)

    • @andrewfisher7146
      @andrewfisher7146 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Let’s not forget the Mickey Mantle gene. Caronavirus ain’t getting through that shit!

    • @shawnmcvey7789
      @shawnmcvey7789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bert could have a 4 octave voice based off the dog whistle noises he makes while laughing.
      What a waste🤣

  • @rochella_xo
    @rochella_xo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Def the best episode ! Love how bert has 6 beers in front of him toms just chillen

  • @ouyoungbae
    @ouyoungbae 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Bert will definitely be the first comic to start touring again lmao

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bert's current tour title: "patient zero"

  • @BenmacBlog
    @BenmacBlog 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I honestly love that im seeing bert doing the runs on all his friends podcasts for promo of the special and i hope tom and chris do to for theirs. This is way better than watching some awkward encounter on a tonight show/ jimmy fallon or a morning show

  • @iain4802
    @iain4802 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Big fan of the seamless cut at around 49:00, when a bottle of Heineken just appears on the table! I would not have noticed it without it.

  • @onedumbpollock6789
    @onedumbpollock6789 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Out of every podcast I listen I listen to many this is the one I can’t wait till the new episode comes out you guys do it right! Bad Friends would be my second favorite and it’s kinda the same set up! Keep it up You Bears of men you

  • @marcushillerstrom25
    @marcushillerstrom25 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Take a shot every time Bert finish a sentence. You'll stay stone sober.

    • @schuylerb3963
      @schuylerb3963 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Marcus Hillerström he’s everywhere today lol

    • @burnzygg
      @burnzygg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Cold

    • @tobymcgroby8967
      @tobymcgroby8967 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hah, or how about when he interrupts people. You'll be in the hospital with alcohol poisoning before podcast ends

  • @SussBus
    @SussBus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "And that's where I come in"
    Was just watching old episodes of 10 Minute Podcast, and that unintentional callback had me in fucking tears

  • @cjhansen5715
    @cjhansen5715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Bart drinking that beer reminded me of how my hamster drank after I forgot to fill his water bottle for a few days

    • @Emerald_Knight45
      @Emerald_Knight45 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bart?

    • @cjhansen5715
      @cjhansen5715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Emerald_Knight45 You know Bart Cryssler? The worlds fattest most racist comedian?

  • @sheagoldstein7309
    @sheagoldstein7309 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    both the trailers. for the specials had me choking and crying.. Im so excited!!

  • @watchesandcaps2566
    @watchesandcaps2566 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Tom's Rocco Siffredi impression cracks me up everytime

  • @N-G89
    @N-G89 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Who dislikes this honestly especially now what the hell is wrong with people? This is a distraction and entertainment that we all need. Keep em coming guys

  • @oldyoungone
    @oldyoungone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    with everyone off work and binge watching netflix, Berts special is gonna kill when released, too bad Netflix dont give numbers to hear him bragging next JRE

    • @mrs.riche3939
      @mrs.riche3939 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thought the same thing brother!! Keep featherin!!!

    • @johnsondanny_
      @johnsondanny_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They have it listed at #7 in America right now

  • @nataliem.2651
    @nataliem.2651 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I heard the beginning then had to go and watch the special. I enjoyed it!! You had a lot of fun on stage and that made it a lot more exciting to watch

  • @jonnyincomox
    @jonnyincomox 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I feel like I've heard the stripper story on every pod Bert's been on recently.

    • @KidBaklava504
      @KidBaklava504 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      jonnyincomox he just did the same story with Bill Burr

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      And the details change every time.

    • @JesseRBautista88
      @JesseRBautista88 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same

  • @cantstopwontstop976
    @cantstopwontstop976 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just watched Berts new special last night! Laughed the whole way through, so damn funny! The supermarket and the cake bits were my favourites! Ball is in your court now, Tom, going to be hard to top Berts Big Boy special. Love watching you guys on here

  • @Awizzo4shizzo
    @Awizzo4shizzo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Even my trained service dog freaks out when Bart laughs.

    • @ariehill5631
      @ariehill5631 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      The seagul laughing in a movie theater gag from family guy lol

  • @tobymcgroby8967
    @tobymcgroby8967 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Tommybuns, your OD story on This can't be happening is what made me a solid fan. So for what it's worth, I think it's good to use material on other shows, instead of saving it for your own specials👍👍

  • @anothermike4825
    @anothermike4825 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Holy Balls, this is what I needed. Hope this is good.

  • @justinjenkins4465
    @justinjenkins4465 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I could easily listen to 2 even 3 hours of this show u guys are awesome CONGRATS TOM AND BERT

  • @oscara9852
    @oscara9852 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    Hey man, Bert should be taking showers in hand sanitizer.

    • @frankbautista4475
      @frankbautista4475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He would probably drink to see how drunk he gets

    • @jesse7157
      @jesse7157 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He should be taking showers in rubbing alcohol and boiling water

    • @jesperhjensen1978
      @jesperhjensen1978 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Pool and lake counts as shower😂😂😂

    • @TyLockton
      @TyLockton 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What are you all talking about? He sweats alcohol, you could squeegee shots off ranger Berts back.

    • @RubbelisPro
      @RubbelisPro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bert is practically 70% alcohol at this point, he might be the only asymptomatic adult male to face the coronavirus

  • @michaelbland2924
    @michaelbland2924 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm a huge fan of schulz I'm glad you guys fuck with him

  • @jmiscstuff8704
    @jmiscstuff8704 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    40:07 The Machine got some squeaky gears.

  • @claydever7144
    @claydever7144 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    51:45 "almost called it Ernie". This line got me rolling.

  • @rylinmurphy2538
    @rylinmurphy2538 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Every tour Bert does should be called "body shots world tour!"

  • @tofuisnotfood3348
    @tofuisnotfood3348 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank God you all are still making content so I have something to keep me busy during the drive back and forth to work, since my company doesnt give a rats sss about our health.

  • @hhharvey208
    @hhharvey208 4 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    Ted seems alright, but Brent needs to lose some weight, and stop with all the hate speech.

    • @monehget
      @monehget 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I was surprised when Brad said that he STILL supports Japanese internment camps in the U.S.

    • @hhharvey208
      @hhharvey208 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Theo Salmon Is your friend Brent a fat racist as well?

    • @anthonymeccia4768
      @anthonymeccia4768 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You’re completely right. I think I even caught Brent throwing up the white power sign under the table a couple times this episode.

  • @88hammar
    @88hammar 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you this is exactly what I need to here in times like this.

  • @EsliMedrano
    @EsliMedrano 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love when Bret gets Tom in trouble for being on his phone like a jealous gf!

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm glad he calls him out on it. You're doing a 1 hour podcast, turn off your phone for 1 hour.
      I know Bert's boring, but you just have to push through it.

  • @eyykendrick
    @eyykendrick 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    such open and ,,smart and funny guys. best thing being able to fully exist in the conversation with the two of you. one of those really happy blushing emojis here; i will not attempt to figure it out on pc keyboard

  • @nicksurfs1
    @nicksurfs1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    It’s fascinating that Bert has ever hired a publicist. Listening to him talk about marketing, he clearly knows more than them and hasn’t fallen into any of the traps that keep them lagging behind. If you’re a trailblazer in marketing, do your own marketing man.

  • @earthpigc
    @earthpigc 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    You know it is really nice being able to see Bert working on his reading skills. He almost can get through an ENTIRE PAGE by himself now!

  • @toewel
    @toewel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Following proto by clicking this in 2 strokes instead of 3.

    • @DopeyDude207
      @DopeyDude207 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Keep featherin

    • @alexe4264
      @alexe4264 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      My brother didn't believe me

  • @professorpancakes6545
    @professorpancakes6545 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Brent's new special is my favourite one yet from him. It's really good.

  • @nighttime.canoe.installer
    @nighttime.canoe.installer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Bert's hat makes him look like the lead singer of a ska band.

  • @danbrown9
    @danbrown9 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love how Bert’s brain works and he’s so open about it

  • @RustyRamen
    @RustyRamen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "That's a whole white baby bruh"
    - The Legend

    • @lukecravey2038
      @lukecravey2038 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lmfao I’m from the town the whole white baby is from and I can assure you, he’s a local legend😂

  • @FluffyMatzahBalls
    @FluffyMatzahBalls 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bad Friends AND Two Bears One Cave on the same day? I'm loving Monday mornings these days

  • @DisasterpiecesGB
    @DisasterpiecesGB 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    This is becoming like real housewives for men that like comedy.

    • @carlosmarte428
      @carlosmarte428 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Owen Goetemann Joe Rogan is basically Oprah for men.

    • @spacemancam
      @spacemancam 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Carlos Marte 😂😂😂

    • @Prometheushighaf
      @Prometheushighaf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@carlosmarte428 I always thought Joe's inner spirit was fat old black women

    • @carlosmarte428
      @carlosmarte428 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      James Ireland Well idk about that lol. Political views aside, his show covers what men are “supposed to” be interested in pretty well.

    • @Prometheushighaf
      @Prometheushighaf 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@carlosmarte428 yeh, it's good thing

  • @davidoconnor2133
    @davidoconnor2133 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Burnt Chrysler - Let me just throw in a little ad lib so Tommybuns doesn't get mad at my ad reading skills. "Michelin 5 Star Chef.." Nailed it.

  • @littlefrog9553
    @littlefrog9553 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I feel like if anyone is at risk of getting corona in that circle, it's Bert.

    • @Noone-jn3jp
      @Noone-jn3jp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Holy shit. In all seriousness I cannot believe his family is healthy. I refer you to Bert Cast with Nick Thune. Look at the rats and they (berts family) track chicken shit in the house. That’s is berts words said with seriousness more than once. Then using the pool to shower. Fuck man, I’m surprised the virus DIDNT come from him.

    • @ethanking4954
      @ethanking4954 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Joey Diaz

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      IF Bert has to stay home and self-quarantine, he's gonna go nuts. And/or his wife AND children will kill him. Imagine him on lockdown in their house 24/7? He'd lose his shit. He'd NEVER shut up. He'd come up with totally insane ideas to film, and force them to participate. He'd be online constantly shopping for crazy shit, burning through the money he's NOT making at the moment.
      That WOULD make for a hilarious documentary, but, it'd be Bert's last one, as Leeann and the kids would ultimately shiv him full of kitchen knives just to shut him the fuck up.

  • @crazybob94
    @crazybob94 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tom: hey I have a story.
    Bert: hey I'm happy for you and ima let you finish, but I have the greatest stories of all time 😂

  • @emergencyexit3967
    @emergencyexit3967 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    laughing this much IS GIVING ME CHEST PAINS!

    • @metalfuk1
      @metalfuk1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Emergency Exit calm down

  • @jessegrant887
    @jessegrant887 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    the special was amazing keep up the good work bert!

  • @GrandPoggers
    @GrandPoggers 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I was sipping water when Thom said "she called hers the n word" and that didn't end very, dry for everything on my table

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      "...and we both agreed, that's the only time it's acceptable to say it."

  • @xrmighty
    @xrmighty 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tom's sip and Bert's first sip
    Lol cute little sip vs entire beer

  • @NerdGeof
    @NerdGeof 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I wonder when this was filmed, they are behind a little, any counts on how often Tom will go to his phone?

    • @TheBlackMambaa248
      @TheBlackMambaa248 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I also was confused as to when this was filmed. They clearly knew it was coming out today because Bert said “tomorrow” when referencing when his special was coming out. But there’s no way bert is performing at the comedy store tomorrow. That shit is closed. Probably filmed last week.

    • @Prometheushighaf
      @Prometheushighaf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@TheBlackMambaa248 yeh I noticed following the groups of comedians some podcasts can be weeks behind and when I realise this I just loose half the interest most times

    • @TheBlackMambaa248
      @TheBlackMambaa248 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @James Ireland Usually I don’t care but considering the times we’re currently living in, it became more relevant to me lol

    • @Prometheushighaf
      @Prometheushighaf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@TheBlackMambaa248 all the podcasters occasionally over lap so watching outdated stuff has lower novelty for me

  • @davidm998
    @davidm998 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love how every episode starts off with Tom trashing Bert 😂😂😂😂

  • @emergencyexit3967
    @emergencyexit3967 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    the intros are always perfect,
    Tom: why you so racist bert?
    Bert: I really hope we're not rolling
    Nadav:* Laughs in jew in background*

    • @TyLockton
      @TyLockton 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The guys in the booth killing themselves is the best part.

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TyLockton The guys in the booth must now be constantly in the mode to "video bookmark" everything Bert goes to say, because 95% of the time it's a lie, some bullshit that makes no sense, or, something that is eminently clippable for a video meme re: racism. Ha ha. Bert's like a human video clip machine for lies, stupidity, and self-incrimination.

  • @80AD
    @80AD 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Another brilliant episode, gentlemen. Thanks for the laughs!

  • @B-Free619
    @B-Free619 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Aye Desus and Mero shout out, the Brand is strong

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      The Brand is infectious (with laughter)

  • @Lord6
    @Lord6 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    The background laughter is one of the funniest parts of any episode.

  • @DaveStarr100.3
    @DaveStarr100.3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    "the most fun I've ever had at a strip club, was in Fort Wayne, Indiana..."
    Don't ship the fun down to Muncie where it doesn't belong. Just meth down there.

    • @AnonymousFREEZEpOp1
      @AnonymousFREEZEpOp1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Absolutely 100%. I am from Fort Wayne and went to Ball State in Muncie, once you take a step off campus it's meth city USA.

    • @DaveStarr100.3
      @DaveStarr100.3 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AnonymousFREEZEpOp1 lol indeed! I'm from Chicago but moves down to the Fort for the price, about six years ago lol ended up loving it. I've discovered the further away from I-69 you get, East or West, the skinnier your teeth start to feel lol

    • @codyburgess7034
      @codyburgess7034 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Show Girls 3

    • @DaveStarr100.3
      @DaveStarr100.3 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@codyburgess7034 Bridget the Midget drops in a lot. 👍

    • @codyburgess7034
      @codyburgess7034 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      David Ploss never been but I do remember seeing a sign that said “ The Midget is Back!”

  • @ElemenoP95
    @ElemenoP95 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hey, someone tell Bert I just got done watching "Hey Big Boy"
    I was laughing so hard it made me cough because I couldn't breathe and my sides are hurting and my fiance is hanging off the bed laughing.
    It was the funniest thing I've seen today

  • @AnonymousFREEZEpOp1
    @AnonymousFREEZEpOp1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    I love this podcast but when Bert constantly wants to talk shop about being a comedian and the "process" it gets exhausting. Like we've heard this same conversation a million times on Rogan, Bertcast, and YMH. Bert asks every comedian these same questions.

    • @Quickstrikeable
      @Quickstrikeable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      His special is releasing. Just let him talk about what he wants.

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Tom starts off several ideas by saying someone they know is amazing, and Bert cuts him off every time by shouting "HE'S AMAZING! NO, NO, he's AWESOME!"

    • @kjcorder
      @kjcorder 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      secret time???..this is real inside baseball...
      you know what.. nevermind..

    • @mackcsound
      @mackcsound 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      God thank you.... I can’t stand the constant social media marketing talk. If they knew what was best for their career Schulz and Bert should try to be funny not lecture people on the process of comedy

  • @eli1214
    @eli1214 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    You guys had me at Rocco Sifreddi. 😍

  • @JohnBelley86
    @JohnBelley86 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Every time Tom gets interrupted he should cough.

  • @IronLantern89
    @IronLantern89 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Watched the special tonight and Bert killed it.

  • @Justin-lg1qb
    @Justin-lg1qb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    I’ll buy for hims when all the balding people start getting hair again.

    • @nashvilleantiques8691
      @nashvilleantiques8691 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahaha good luck

    • @kdog5471
      @kdog5471 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think Hims isn’t supposed to regrow hair, but stop the process of further balding

    • @MNewsTime
      @MNewsTime 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hims is suppose to be used early not late
      From what I’ve understood

  • @edhernandez8523
    @edhernandez8523 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “If Leeann can do it, You can do it” fuck man that man me crying

  • @billsmith394
    @billsmith394 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Burnt talks for 45 minutes, Tom says yeah.

  • @alexrush4140
    @alexrush4140 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lol I love how Bert keeps it so real. It's like podcasts are his therapy

    • @kjcorder
      @kjcorder 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "real"

  • @GoingMach5
    @GoingMach5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    “And I regret I’m going to have to shoot them both in the back one day”. Bert Kreischer with the harsh and sad possible reality lmaoo

    • @utlonghorn86
      @utlonghorn86 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Low hanging fruit. Didnt land either

  • @leirycpanizales5878
    @leirycpanizales5878 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    So excited about the specials coming out.