The Truth About Violence - Female Edition
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.ย. 2024
- I spent 23 years in private security. During that time I was able to watch a lot of human behaviour. Some good and some very bad. It gave me some insights into the behaviour of predators. In this episode I speak specifically about females and what they can do to avoid being a victim. This is not an online martial arts class, because.. That nonsense will get you hurt or maybe worse. These are observations firmly grounded in reality..
The Truth About Self Defence - • The truth about self d...
The Truth About Street Violence - • The Truth About Street...
The Truth About Violence - Female Edition
• The Truth About Street...
It's amazing how many women respond to good advice with "men shouldn't rape" as if nobody understood that.
No ones replied with that.. on this post
the key point for me is, yes of course people shouldnt do bad things - but that doesnt mean you shouldnt keep yourself safe (as far as possible) as well.
@@xr33tk I've had people throw this at me when I've had these discussions IRL and then get mad at the notion of personal responsibility because evil people don't care
It's Utopianism. An absolute c@ncer on public discourse in the West.
@godsamongmen The relentless MenArePigs propaganda to divide the sexes and break the family unit has been effective.
The best martial arts instruction I ever got was this; If you can see it coming, get out of its way. So learn how to see.
90% of effective self defense is seeing it coming and avoiding it entirely.
All Great advice. My husband grew up in several countries some of them considered "3rd world" so he has a very "realistic" view of the world. He always tells me, as a #1 rule "NEVER let them move you" If you let them move you its pretty much game over. As you have said these people want to get you away from a public place. The best thing you can do , barring staying out of the situation to begin with, is to make a scene. Scream, yell, curse etc to get anyones attention so that you can survive long enough for the police to show up. Because lets remember the police are a REactive force, not a PROactive one.
“They will test the waters before they go in for the kill.” ❤ this sentence.
Alcohol is THE original and still the leading "date rape" drug and, it's self administered!
And keep in mind, regret sex isn't rape.
Everyone needs to understand their personal response to alcohol. This is why I don't drink. Alcohol either makes me passive and sleepy, or obnoxious and antisocial.... not great for a fun night out.
...and alcohol is required for, "regret sex". That applies to BOTH sexes!
Al just like the cc is the anti-anxiety relief.
So many people on this just to feel "good".
As a woman I agree with everything this man said… this is what the real world is like. My martial arts training does nothing with my 5’3 height and 50 kg weight… I always live in fear and so glad to know that just choosing a few good options and making a a few good decisions can get me out of harms way… gives me relief… thank you 🙏🏼
🍀🍀🍀
"I always live in fear"..
Is that rational? How many of the thousands and thousands of men you have encountered have ever actuallty harmed you? A tiny number, if any
is it sensible to always live in fear?
How do you do anything? Everything has a small risk so you must ignore most risks you are exposed to.
showing fear is what predators look for, its the worst thing you can do because to them its weakness and NOT because you are weak, its their perception. They expect you to be scared by default. thinking logically under extreme emotional / psychological stress and prepared to be as aggressive and nasty as possible to defend yourself from a potential attacker usually works.
my ex was a ferocious kind of woman. we were out and some random guy grabbed her ass. She turned to him and looked him straight in the eye and said' if you touch me again I'll break your hand' and she was dead serious. I saw her eye colour change to a darker colour from confronting him. the guy and his friend were visibly scared and they left.
so yes its possible for women to defend themselves though they would do it differently. If it makes you feel better @Eighteen19 the most bravest Soldiers in WW1 were Women.
@@jonahtwhale1779 It's like a bomb in a bus. One bus get blown every other month, you're gonna be vary of buses. It doesnt matter if it's very unlikely, even less likely than dieing in commute.
My missus has knocked a few blokes to the floor 😂@@Bhouncer
Great talk! I did a self-defense workshop run by 2 ex-policewomen who made it abundantly clear that this was NOT going to miraculously turn you into a MMA champ - all you're doing is trying to prevent becoming a victim &, if the worst happens, give yourself a chance of surviving. They emphasised that you must accept that you WILL get hurt & it will be violent - most women are so shocked by the violence or injury that they freeze.
They said exactly as you did: even if you're an experienced martial arts champ, you will probably not overpower an attacker - your aim is not to beat them up or "fight them off"; your aim is to survive long enough & give yourself any possible chance to escape with your life.
Excellently put.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever had that actually saved me is that if you sense someone behind you, don't turn and look, just run. The amount of time it takes for you to turn and then try to turn back is crucial and you wont get the acceleration you need. Also, the guy will probably be surprised you took off running and momentarily confused so you could gain a few seconds. I ran and he ran after me, and I managed to get into my door before he caught up. Luckily I had my keys in my hand. Also, even if it is to your mum's house, I would never invite a stranger to a place where I/my friend/my family live. : )
T'es française ? (Eng below)
J'aimerai que tu puisse te sentir en sécurité partout mais même pour beaucoup d'hommes c'est impossible.
On choisis où l'on doit aller, avec qui et quand nous aussi.
Prends soin de toi.
You are french ?
I would love if you can feel safe everywhere but even for a lot of men it's impossible.
We chose where to go, with who and when.
Take care.
@@Koozomec Merci, I lived in Paris for many years and had some strange experiences there too, but this happened to me in Milan in a nice area in the middle of the day, but on a side street. It was a migrant though.(I saw him when I passed him and he was yelling after me as he chased me).
@@gauloise6442 Thank you for sharing your experience. Your self awareness is functioning well.
Have a good one.
This is indeed good advice. Well done 👍
if someone's walking behind you and has no bad intentions minding their own business you'd just run? or do you mean someone with bad intentions?
that can work if they dont chase after you.
What many people nowadays call 'victim blaming' is really common sense advise analogous to don't drink and drive, don't leave your crap unlocked and within sight of thieves, don't smoke while pumping fuel in your car, etc. Basically, be aware of danger and try not to walk into it.
common sense doesnt work because if it did no-one would get attacked. people who have ideas about how violence works have NEVER been confronted by dangerous individuals. If you've ever been confronted by one you'd know. being aware only works with what you can see. I spotted him 50ft away. their intentions were hidden until5 ft away, clever. meaning theyve done it before.
'not walking into it' you genuinely believe ppl consciously WANT to be in those situations? they dont. If someone has bad intentions you dont know until you see a warning sign.
@@Bhouncer Sure, but that's not at all what I was saying. :) Of course really determined predators can be very dangerous and just basic common sense does not make you invulnerable. But it's the first level of risk mitigation everyone should implement.
The problem I was actually pointing at is that even basic common sense level notions, such as "probably it's not a good idea to drink until you pass out during a party full of other drunk and drugged out strangers, since that will render you completely helpless", is being met with "You can't say that! That's victim blaming! Girls have a right to have fun! Teach men not to grape instead!" and so on. This is making it very hard to have honest, practical conversations on what people can actually do (and avoid doing) to increase their safety.
Most predators are opportunistic and look for easy targets, often acting on the spur of the moment when they happen to spot such targets. So anything that reduces your risk in that context, comes way before one needs to worry about 1 in a million uber predators like Ted Bundy, or about being attacked by 27 Uzi wielding ninjas. :)
Example: If you simply refrain from drinking and taking drugs, and avoid going where there are groups of drunk and drugged up people, that will already go a long way in eliminating the chances of certain situations arising.
PS: common sense often doesn't work because often folks won't actually implement it
Not walking into from my perspective would mean do not go to that place at that time. That is how you reduce risk.
@@sauter1 of course. though my issue with 'common sense' is that its usually blanket advice without context and only applies to certain situations.
I have created an education playlist for my daughters (6 & 9 yo). Covering various things from smoking, drugs and alcohol.
This has just been added for when they are old enough to start exploring the world on their own.
Really great channel mate, love hearing your experience and advice. Wish it was available when I was in my 20s, It hurts learning these lessons first hand!
That is great to hear. Thankyou!
Great video! If I might respectfully add: I worked security in a gay club in the early 00's. Many women go to gay clubs thinking that they are somehow safer, not realizing that drugs are/were rife in those clubs, and predators exist in both gay and straight populations. Credit card theft/ running up a bar tab on unwary, drunk, and over-trusting ladies seemed particularly present in my experience. I truly enjoy your channel...a relatively unknown gem.
Back in the 80's, when I was twenty something, I took a self defense class. I was concerned because I got off work in the dark and had a little bit of a way to walk to get to my building. And a lot of that was poorly lit. Some was empty green space.
The best thing I got out of the class was the advice not to make yourself a easy looking target. Be confident, be aware, project the image that youre not worth it. You'll be too much trouble, too noisy, attract too much
attention.
Some months after this class I was walking home after getting off the bus when I realized I was
being followed.
I whipped around and angrily and loudly demanded to know why he was following me. I even took one stride toward him. I had my tote bag full of heavy college books ready to swing at him. After giving me some bull answer about how he just wanted my number he rabbitted off.
I know I was lucky because there's a lot of ways that could have ended very badly. But I like to think my attitude helped my luck along. For sure I was projecting everyone in the nearby apartments were about to be roused by the ruckus I was about to create.
I lived many years in Johannesburg avoiding being a victim. Gut feeling is your friend. Often I've changed direction, avoided a street that felt 'off'. Never went to places at night unless other people I could trust were around. Always very alert to what's happening. Point is luckily I'm still alive.
Another point to add is women need to understand that nothing in this life is free, especially when dealing with strangers, there’s a lot of women who deliberately go out to use men to get free drinks/meals, those guys will want something in return, when they get used over & over again they’re attitudes to women changes I.e they will take advantage of drunk women because they feel like women have deliberately taken advantage of him, not victim blaming but some women play a part in these situations.
Also when a women dresses provocatively, she maybe doing it for whatever reason but most men understand that it’s for male attention (in most cases) & most men even if they won’t admit its dint have respect for such women & a minority will treat them as an object.
Women tend to be idealistic & believe that these things don’t matter but in the real (imperfect world) it does & if a woman is unlucky she can be victimised), I’ve also given advice to women when working the doors, some listen to reason but a lot will ignore your advice or reinforce they’re idealistic views.
You can only do so much to help, whether they listen is up to them.
Playing the free drinks game is dangerous as you say. There are guys who will get very offended as they view the drink as a transaction. The guy is obviously flawed for thinking that but those guys are out there for sure. I have sent drinks over to girls many times. Normally a round for the entire group. Then I will go say Hi and offer the girl I like my number. Then I will leave them alone. If they like me they will find me or call me. If they dont then no harm done, I t's nice to be nice.
I observed that many idiot lasses, back when I used to go out in the 90s, would have a gameplan of going out with almost no money, bombing drinks off multiple lads, then use one to get into a club for free (usually by accosting a mug like my mate and pushing in the queue of a nightclub by pretending to know him haha). It happened to me once or twice but you just shrug it off and learn. But...there's some really nasty fellas out there. Stay safe peeps.
It is unbelievably sad and outrageous that you can’t legally prepare for he worst case scenario. Solid advice as always. Good stuff.
Great Stuff Boss....Send it to my 17 y/o daughter with a "must watch"
Good to hear!!
Thank you for your wisdom. I often found being a young Russian woman in London especially dangerous. For a variety of reasons, predators seem to think that foreign women are an easy target. I soon discovered that going to night clubs with a group of Russian girls was a nightmare, and even walking down the street in day time could sometimes be unpleasant. But, as you say, one must be realistic about how life is, not moan that we don't live in a perfect world. I kept a r*p* alarm in my bag, but I think the best "self defence" I came up with was to make sure I never went anywhere after dark without my husband. I found having a man beside me who is over 6 foot, three inches, and looks like Jack Palance to be an excellent deterrent for would-be predators. The psychos and creeps never bothered me then. Best wishes from Moscow, thank you and take care.
Glad you watched and sorry to hear you experienced some poor behaviour. Do you think foreigners in Russia have similar issues?
@@thatgearguy Interesting question. Unfortunately, we have our fair share of predators and creeps here in Russia. There are only a relative handful of Western women living here. I've never heard of a Western girl being harassed in Russia. Foreign women in Russia tend to be from Central Asian republics, i.e. from pretty strict Muslim backgrounds, and for some reason Russian guys don't hit or prey on them, but on their own, Slavic kind. That said, men from such republics are becoming a massive problem for Russian women here. For the record, my Russian girl friends and I were never harrassed in London by indigenous English. Basically the same dynamic applies here in Russia as I witnessed in London: local girls are considered "fair game" by men with foreign backgrounds. From their point of view, we are "foreigners." In short, the same problem you have in the UK.
@@SvetlanaVladimirova8590 True words, I support this. These kind of men are behaving in that manner throughout Europe, basically they look at you as been "less" as frankly you are white. I have seen it and heard it from many female friends who have sadly experienced this.
I met my wife in Belarus 15 years ago (ah I'm old now!) when I was studying Russian at the Minsk State LinguisticUniversity. I lived in a university dormitory with other foreigners who were learning Russian. I was absolutely shocked by how the foreign men (mainly Turks) spoke about the local girls like they were not human. It truly opened my eyes.
@@drc1247 I know what you mean. Living in London was an "eye-opener" for me, too. Every nation has some men who are vile and treat women like dirt. But for some reason men from certain nations think women not from their own country or background are merely things for their gratification. Yet woe betide any man who dare even look at their women. I found indiginous English men to be okay. Of course, I met the occasional drunken English imbecile, but even they were never really aggressive or scary, unlike the types we are talking about here. Take care.
As a former Krav Maga student we were always advised that whilst keys can make an effective improvised weapon you could damage them if used against an attacker.
That would mean your method of escape to a safe place such as your car or inside your house is compromised and you don't want that in the event your attacker recuperates.
Fantastic vid with some cold hard facts. I doth my cap sir.
Thanks for watching!
doff
Wow, I've never thought of it like that! Scary thought.
This is good advice. The problem is that young people (when out trying to have fun) tend to switch off their brains and when facing the consequences of their poor decisions they don't want to take responsibility. That's human nature, unfortunately. Adults tend to be equally reluctant admitting they made a poor decision, to be honest.
True but I feel it's gotten worse - I'm 45 and when I was in my party phase in my 20s, we looked out for each other, we wouldn't let a friend get so wasted & then leave them there.
Fast forward a few years & on the odd occasion I do go out to watch a band or something, I often see young girls in particular absolutely falling down drunk, incapable of speech, zero friends looking after them (because everyone else is just as drunk/high) - sitting ducks. We never really saw that 20 years ago. Maybe I was just lucky idk.
@ajd8558 it hasn't gotten worse, your perspective is just more mature as you are now older! Also 25 years ago, much less was reported and filmed
FWIW most of the advice applies just as much to men, but for slightly different reasons. Being drunk, looking lost and lacking confidence in the middle of the night can be extremely dangerous whether you are a guy or a girl.
For sure. I actually give very similar advice in my video on the same subject aimed at males. Avoidance is always better than fighting your way out..
"Let's not go out, just come 'round to my place..." Unfortunately, that is so real.
Thank you for this great advice! I'm going to share it with a couple girlfriends who are currently getting back into the dating scene after long relationships. The world has become scarier than it used to be. You can't be trusting of anyone and you have to be on your guard. Really awesome video, thank you so much
@@DianneWestbrook Thanks Dianne. Really pleased you liked it.
Sensible, balanced advice here, especially regarding alcohol. It boils my piss when you hear both men and women say 'yes but we should be able to dress how we like, go where we like...etc.' I tell my 3 teenagers that if i was to wander into a certain pub in Newcastle wearing Sunderland shirt i'd likely get either verbally abused at best, or physically attacked. Would i deserve it? No. Have i been silly? Oh yes. It's really not a perfect world. People need to wise up a bit.
Well said!
Yeah lots of things that get labeled victim blaming are actually reality checking
Your thoughts are appreciated & I can't commend your rationale enough.
We have the fire triangle in fire safety. Oxygen, heat and fuel ( combustible items). Removing just one of those elements prevents a fire.
We have a triangle for criminal acts as well.
The three elements being Criminal's Ability, Criminal's Intention To Act and Criminal's Opportunity to act.
Unlike the fire triangle though, only Opportunity to act is within control of the potential victim. IF they recognise it in time.
Criminal ability ( skills+ physical ability) and Criminal intention are in the control of the perpetrator..
If a potential victim recognises the situation and is able to prevent the opportunity for a criminal act; i e prevention tactics, then the other two elements don't matter.
No victim blaming here. Just tools for learning.
"They don't stop being predators, they just stop doing it in front of me" --- pure gold here.
But I thoroughly disagree with advice about offering a guy to meet her with her girlfriends. That's silly and unreasonable, and it will scare off most normal guys but won't turn away a determined predator who can charm the whole henhouse.
The best first date would be in a public place (starbucks?), maybe for lunch or a coffee. Meet in public, tell your friends who you are meeting, have someone check in on you to make sure you are okay, don't follow the BS "trust your gut" but evaluate the person's actions with some logic and common sense in mind. Most men are decent (yes even if they use Internet to meet girls).
No man should be concerned about meeting a girl with her friendship group. If he wants to meet the girl that won't be an issue.
@@thatgearguy You are entitled to your opinion, of course. But in this case it's very wrong. If it worked for you in the past, you are an outlier.
Great advice for women. I've been watching a ton of your videos lately and finding them interesting and helpful. Thanks mate. -Darren from Australia
Glad you like them!
I am a woman and this was quite interesting and quite helpful,
Thank you. 🌷
So glad!
Dude! I’m loving your stuff, binge watching it all. Honest, solid advice. Just brilliant. I’ll add this to the list of videos I send to people. Thx again.
Thanks!
As a mature female who sometimes despairs at what usually clued up ladies do or have done to them; your advice is practical and sensible, i hope that many females get to see this it may save a life.
Thank you!
I should be able to sleep next to a bear and not get eaten.
I should be able to park my Lamborghini in the hood and not have it stolen.
I should be able to leave my wallet on the street and find it untouched.
AMEN!!! Every word of this is pure truth, and so important for us ladies to take in and understand.
Thanks Amy. Much appreciated.
tough issues to speak on
thanks my good man for sharing regarding these realities that do exist
better to face real situations with actionable strategies
rather than be in fantasy or delusion
This is a great video and could be considered to be shown to 16 year olds in school. Well done sir for giving a range of excellent videos
@@thewavesmith5754 Thanks!
You R a good Man . Your Genuine , no ego guidance rings true every time . Massive Thankyou for everything you do . Keep alert people ! 😊
Much appreciated!
Good video.
When i saw the title i thought it was about female customers kicking off, and how it tends to appear from out of the blue and go from zero to 11, or zero to glass, or bottle or scratching and hairpulling , all in a fraction of a second. Blitzkrieg.
That would be an interesting video too! But imagine the backlash from the feminazis...
You're awesome, thanks for the straight talking, the world needs it unfort. I hope you dont get pushback for some of your pragmatic advice in this video. I dont drink anymore but honestly hearing this Im feeling pretty lucky having lived 10yrs in London that worse things didnt happen when I did based on some of these tips. Good on you mate, perfect vid
@@rebecca_stone Thank you!
Wow, amazing advice. I love your straightforward delivery and appreciate that you covered so many aspects of this topic. I also appreciate your humor, even if unintentional (31:18 had me chuckling. You best believe I will now fight to the death of someone tries bundling me into a car with a gun!).
Thankyou! Glad you enjoyed it!
Accountability is not victim blaming. Wear a Rolex to sketchy parts of town? Don’t be surprised when you get held up.
And this is the reason why I subbed, its not nice or pretty what you say, but it is the truth , I have said many things , what you have said in the videos I have watched so far..
I remember when I was doing MA. my instructor at the time was teaching female self defence( I've never really agreed with this) he had spent time teaching them how to defend against a knife attack ffs..Anyway, to show how great his teaching skills are(for female self defence) he asked us not to hold back and gave us all those rubber knives, the females had to defend, with the techniques they had been show..Shocker, not one female was successful..
Let me just say, I don't agree that no female could take a male, I've seen girls that can have a row. These unfortunately, are not the majority..A lot of the wins I've seen, was when the male wasn't expecting it.
I would say this is just common sense advice, that used get passed down from parents… but we need a you tube video for this information these days
Absolutely. Common sense isn't common!
our parents era was very different to now..
'common sense' advice from 'parents' who have no understanding of real world violence which is dynamic and ALWAYS evolves. predators are better at what they do..
@@Bhouncer no there are just more way to be stupid nowadays… and the basic advice from parents from any era never fails…
@@razadaza9651 I see what you mean though behaviour has changed massively in the last 50yrs and things are more complicated yet for them society was different and things were simple. so of course they believe everything can be solved with 'common sense' yet its different for every person.
I agree on line dating is risky, must then meet in a public place
This is why armed self-defence is a natural right, man since ancient times has always picked up and carried a tool of some kind for use against predators both two-legged and four-legged.
People generally do not attack those of equal size and strength, they attack those who they deem to be physically vulnerable therefore the victim needs to be able to have something with them in the first place to act as a designated force multiplayer, people may attempt to argue that this would enable predators, rapists and muggers to get away with carrying some kind of weapon themselves but remember my first point, they are targeting those they believe they can overpower in the first place and they will STILL carry weapons anyway.
You cannot legislate your way out of these issues, you cannot put out these awareness campaigns out on social media aimed at men about how women should be treated and what isn't acceptable when bad people are not going to watch them and care in the first place.
UK law really screws over the vulnerable and makes a mockery of natural law and human instinct.
I do not disagree. I believe the current system discriminates against females, the elderly, the disabled and males who happen to be smaller or weaker than average. As you mentioned the criminals do not follow the rules so they carry weapons anyway. Currently we simply prevent the most vulnerable from protecting themselves. I do not see that changing anytime soon. The politicians will repeat the usual mantra "call the Police, they will protect you". We have all seen or experienced that is just not realistic.
@@thatgearguy They don't have police on every street at all times to begin with, and I've never trusted them, I've been put in a state where I have to worry about both violent criminals and the police themselves when seeking to protect myself from the other.
I'm a relatively smaller guy and I have lost count of how often dudes with mommy issues try to pick a fight with me. I've thankfully been a slimy btard long enough to be quite good at slipping out of situations like that.
Wow amazing reply
@@thatgearguypolice come after u been done, im disabled in wheelchair i cant run and arms are weak too, sitting duck, unless i had a gun, but uk.bans everything even pepper spray
Just caught the end of the video where you discuss meeting people online...completely agree. Meeting up in groups is an excellent idea. I wrote my previous comment before I got to the end of the video.
I think a pro for any self defence class is that it may help get us past the ‘he’s got his hands on me’ frozen feeling. Some of us have never been in a fight or even a tussle, so we’ve never experienced that feeling of physicality or anger directed at us.
Play acting it in a class is not going to help. Take it from someone who has been attacked many times and has no financial gain here.
If we consider that the entire animal world has predators, we have to remember that humans are also animals - and there are also predators are among us. To believe anything else is delusional. Sad but true. Im a woman and I do not think it is victim blaming to suggest protecting yourself from a predator - it's sensible advice. (I'm not saying you deserve it to be attacked if you went out in a short skirt, of course not - I'm saying we need to recognise there is danger and do what we can to avoid it.)
Well said.
Sound advice which I will relay to my daughters!
Glad it was helpful!
I've really enjoyed and agreed with your previous videos about street violence and this video is no exception. You always give solid and realistic advice (for free!). I'm gonna ask my wife to watch this. Thank you, bud. 👍
Thankyou!
Almost as if bringing men up without male role models wasn't such a great idea.
Unfortunately, wicked men AND women exist in this world. Even with good upbringing.
Though your point still stands. It's a lot worse without mentors.
Very good, informative and straight forward. We need more men like you 🙏🏻
Thanks for your kind comment. Much appreciated!
thought this one is gonna be shot wearing girls clothes for ultimate immersion :(
Im sorry, I only do that if you pay me £500..
😂
@@thatgearguy oh yeah, I remember that story
Crowd fund!!
@@thatgearguy I'm between jobs right now too so I know how rough it can be.
Thank you ever so much. That was very helpful. I'll post it in FB. Take good care of yourself.
A pleasure!
If this video was shown to schoolkids at the stupid age it might help.
Thanks!
All great advice and well presented. Not sure about the dates part at the end though. You must be hella more confident that I am, there's not a chance i'd be comfortable going out with an entire squad of women or for the love of god, meeting their family on a first date!? Just me but i'd never get a date in that world! 😅
Need to also mention how dodgy taxi drivers can be
Another thing women can do if for some reason your friends aren’t available. Make sure if you are meeting someone online for example, that the location is of your choosing, pick somewhere with lots of people, ideally a place where people know you, local pub, cafe etc. No alcohol and make sure he leaves first. No decent man will care about any of this if he is genuine. My mrs did all of the above on our first date, explained that she was cautious of men online and its was all good. Even if you really do like a fella, still be cautious and have boundaries, if hes genuine he’ll stick around and go through the process. If anything, it made my respect my partner even more.
Great Self Preservation, Advice!. Thanks!
Useful advice and based approach. Few things to add:
1) I think that good, full contact grappling style (f.e. wrestling, BJJ) can be beneficial even for a lighter woman as a last resort - for example to get out of a grip and run. Mass is a huge factor but if bad guy is unskilled or underestimates the victim, he can be surprised. Of course I'm talking here about years of serious training, not weekend course on self-defense. It only makes sense when a woman is truly passionate about martial arts. Otherwise it's not worth following this lifestyle just in case someone assaults you and there is no other option but to fight.
2) Another advice for women: watch out with whom you decide to live and build home. Huge amount of violence happens behind closed door (domestic violence). In fact for a lady it is more likely to get assaulted by someone she knows than someone stranger.
Advice for men: if you want to keep your family safe, start with controlling your own anger to make sure YOU won't get rogue at some point in your life.
Agree with point 2. I dont see point 1 ending well. It wont be a grappling contest. BJJ is about the worst discipline for street fighting. I know the BJJ community disagree but they dont do enough street fighting.
@@thatgearguy I'm not a fan of BJJ myself (I prefer wrestling).
I agree this shouldn't turn into grappling contest - the longer it goes, the worse for the victim. The only practical application here I see is some clever, well-timed escape.
Thanks for sharing your perspective.
@@bloodwynnI've done wrestling as well, it's great for defence and escape techniques.
The world needs to hear your voice m8.
Appreciate your confidence in me!
This is a realistic scenario. I am married and it doesn't apply to me, but I remember how it was when I was dating. These tragic events happen way too much and men and women think it always happens to someone else.
In a perfect world, men like this does not exists... but it's not a perfect world.
Unlike with males, with women about 90% are assaulted by someone actually known to them - usually current or former partners. And yep, used to break up some vicious fights with woman on woman at clubs and bars - watch out for those long fingernails 😮 - And fully agree with your comments on useless “McDojo” self defence courses for women - it’s rather like when women say they carry keys or mace for self defence - but those items are kept in the bottom of a handbag - so you’re never going to get to them if someone clocks you without warning.
@@troyonplanet plus pepper spray ( which i think can actually be effective) is fully illegal to own or carry in the UK. Basically anything that is effective against muggers etc is outlawed. Tasers, stunners etc carry a heavy mandatory minimum sentence for possession too. Straight to jail, do not pass go. But then yoj cross the channel to france and its okay to carry or own one and can buy anywhere.
@@vlnow Fuck the law as I always say, your life is more important than the law.
Immeasurable levels of sense
“Candle lit protest” lol
I watch so many true crime channels and all the issues that get women in trouble is alcohol out in clubs… 99% of the time that is the issue.. I encourage all viewers here to watch as many true crime channels as they can..
dont go out and enjoy yourself and have a drink because of 'crime documentaries'? seriously. fear based behaviour is exactly what predators look for..they dont prey on confident individuals who are sure of themselves.
@@Bhouncer huh? Just saying that most of the crimes happen when women go out and drink themselves to a stupor and picking up random guys… also what documentaries? Just read up on investigations of true crimes.. you’ll get interviews of the the friends of women saying “well it was normal for her to sneak off to a guys place during a girl’s night out” etc etc…
@@Bhouncer so that being said, the most dangerous behavior women do is going out and drinking… not that I have any issues with women going out drinking myself…
@@Bhouncer anyway not sure if my comments are being removed here
@@razadaza9651 drinking isn't dangerous. Its the bad intentions some individuals have. Predators pick their targets carefully..its usually based on an energy they look for, they way they walk e.t.c
Excellent.... but you and I both know it will be like water off a ducks back... but if saves just one girl, then thats all that matters.
I usually found the drunker the girl, the less inhibitions she had, also if it is within her character even a miniscule, she will be louder the drunker she gets.... THAT is the worst that can happen. My experience would say - dress however you want, even if nearly naked - but if you are going to do that, don't get drunk off your face.... drink appropriate to what you wear. You are dead set right, the sober or the ones that seem sober and in control of their faculties don't attract as much attention.
Because at the end of the day, we in security look awesome when we defend and take out the trash, but the reality is, a drunk guy is easy to control and take down... and thats the same with a predator against a drunk girl - she has zero chance without back up....
Now a guy hyped on drugs - that can be a different matter as far as an easy takedown... but thats another story :)
Great video sir--good advice. Thank you!
28:40 unfortunately there was an American teenage girl who took a summer trip to Aruba, and she tried exactly what you said, and it got her killed.
This is a great video and I agree with all of your advice, however, I also think a lot of grooming takes place online now. (Tinder, dating apps, Facebook). I realize most people know this, but if you're meeting someone from a dating app/Tinder/Snapchat/FB, always meet up in public with a lot of people around. Don't go to his house/apartment and don't invite him back to yours. Also, do a background check (I know this sounds extreme, but it's important.) I think a lot of women feel like they "know" a guy when they meet him for the first time because they've messaged with him a lot and/or talked on the phone. This is not the case. Like you say, most people aren't predators but a decent amount of predators do love dating apps and they don't have to go out to clubs anymore. They can groom from the comfort of their own home.
Totally agree.
@@thatgearguy It's totally unfortunate.
How much is spiking drinks a factor? I heard it’s an urban myth
It is where GHB is concerned. Not so much with Roofies.
I saw a few cases where it was thought to have occurred. However it was also clear that the victim had consumed many alcoholic drinks and/or their own recreational drugs. This really made it tough to pin down without a blood test. We would review CCTV but I never actually saw it. Unfortunately it became a fairly common excuse when people had gotten to drunk. Phrases like "but I usually have 6 double vodkas and I am fine, I must have been spiked".. That is not to say it doesn't happen but I think it is less common than the media would have us believe. Most guys can just offer alcohol and drugs to girls who freely accept it. They do not need to conceal it.
@@markmansell The Russians do it to Alpha males they don't wanna have to compete with. As an American, I'm ready.
I've gotten drunk thousands of times. Met thousands of drinking buddies. Had many deep conversations. I dont think I've ever met anyone who would spike a drink. And even if someone does spike it, I dont think its always going to be to sedate for the purpose of sex. I think people would actually rather spike it with something like ecstasy so that the person being spiked is more fun and open
Spiking a drink is also only talked about in the west. I had never heard of this concept until I immigrated to the US and I think the risks are highly exaggerated. I think what happens much more frequently is that a friend or something puts a fun pill into your drink because he/she thinks you need to have more fun
It’s happened to me and I’m a man! Granted it wasn’t ghb/ date rape it was mdma but when it started kicking in I thought I was gonna die lol the scary part is not knowing what it is.
@Thatgearguy is not the dad Gotham deserves, but hes the dad Gotham needs.
Ha thanks bud!
It all comes down to common sense. Unfortunately it's not ever one who as it.
Viewers, spread this far and wide to all females in the clubbing/dating scene!
Cathal Crotty massively famous case in Ireland is a big case in point about men punching women.
Love your content. I must say though I think proficient in Jiu-Jitsu and mauy thai together will stand a far greater chance against an attacker after them making the first move. Is there many of those women...no
As the father of a nineteen year old woman...
you make it sound like if a guy at a club is looking for a hook up and not a long term girlfriend he's automatically a predator.
Not really😂
If he is an honest guy and he says he just wants a hook up then cool. Most do not. They act like they want to date but it just manipulation for a one night stand. That isn't normally in the girls best interests. Im giving the advice I would give a daughter - avoid those clowns.
I don't think he's necessarily saying that, just that men who are just looking for a hook up pose higher degree of risk and it's up to you to a risk assessment.
Totally missed the point. What he is saying is that there is a concentration of drunk frustrated men, some of which are dangerous and predatory. 9 times out of ten you will be fine, but its not worth it for the time you do get into trouble.
@@xr33tk I didn't say there aren't guys who are violent. There are. But lots of people going out to the club aren't looking to share a "home cooked meal" with your mom and dad if you know what I mean. I don't really care if two adult strangers meet up at a nightclub or bar and have some short lived sexual liaison. I think you just missed the point of my comment.
Brilliant video thank you will try to share to any younger woman.
I appreciate that.
Have fun and enjoy yourself, just not at the cost of common sense.
If I was to leave my new, nice, shiny, powerful sportsbike in a bad neighboorhood full of dodgy characters at 03:00 with no alarm, immobilser or padlock and chain and it gets stolen, then I've got to take at least some responsibilty.
Sorry about that.
well yes. though thats very different to encountering predators.
24:58 Kirstin Lobato, with justice like that you can't do anything as the victim. I know it's UK but I imagine the justice can get just as bad there.
I am well aware of that case. Firstly she stabbed a guy and didnt tell the Police. That did not help her and is a crazy thing to do. If you stab someone in self defence you want to be reporting it asap. After that there was a miscarriage of justice. These are incredibly rare in both the UK and US. You should not deter yourself from self defence due to a 1 in a million chance you may also face miscarriage of justice. Its akin to never crossing a road again, just in case..
This video reminds me of my ex. After we broke up she went into a pattern of making herself vulnerable with guys, letting them get her fucked up on drugs and alcohol and having sex with her, then she'd have sex with them again later on to convince herself that the whole thing was indeed something she wanted.
First one didn't drink, yet gave her 10 shots of tequila, tons of weed and shrooms.
Most recent one she was blacked out, came to in the midst of sex, then after the sex, she realized it wasn't even the guy she had her eye on that night. She literally didn't know who she was having sex with. So she suggested going back to his place to have more sex. And she tells herself she did this on her terms cause she suggested the second one, but it's just to convince herself that she wasn't getting assaulted.
Great topic idea
Thank the viewers for suggesting it!
Go out get drunk, wear next to nothing and walk in the dark on there own here is the recipe
Martial Arts gives also good agility and reflexes
You still need to have the *will* to seriously hurt someone in a situation where they're intending to ruin your life. When my mother was taking self defence classes in the 70s and 80s, or when we were learning martial arts in the 90s, you meet a lot of women who are taught to rely on good manners and being nice to everyone. They're unwilling to hit an attacker in the face because that doesn't seem "polite".
as does any other sport like gymnastics
If Martial Arts cant help a man, they would definitely not help a woman
@@GlasPthalocyanine Key in the eye works
Avoid our boat arrivals at all costs.
Yes we do have a large and undiscussed cultural issue. In some countries the sexual assault of women is largely accepted and even blamed on the women. This must be considered when we define if a refugee or immigrant is a suitable candidate.
Oisin needs to pay Ratso immediately
What does it mean?
Sounds like there needs to be a women’s only nightclub for the crazy girl’s nights out.. let’s see how that goes
Maybe they will.
@@thatgearguy I think they should, but then the ladies will have to buy their own drinks, but that will give them safety
@@razadaza9651 Dude, woman wont even pay for entry to there own club night, let alone drinks.
@@davewordsworth1251 😂😂
Im a guy, this sounded reasonable to me