Narcissistic parents always leave scarred children. Sometimes, narcissistic parents can protect the children from external harm (because they are possessive and see you as such), but there is noone to protect the child from the parent.
Yes, he's possessive he shows others he loves his son I think so but he's a pawn and when the son doesn't go with his words then he turns on him I'm confused
Yeah, they do it wrong. Parents should make the home the safe place but still allow you to bump along in the world and face consequences so you can grow and adapt. Instead narcissistic parents teach you that you should be entitled and inflexible to everyone else but them. So you are screwed and they are where you can go for constant reinforcement of the delusions they created. This is maladaptive and now you are trapped.
When I was married with my narcissistic ex-husband, there were SO MANY TIMES that I would see just very selfish tendencies. My step daughter, his bio-daughter would constantly call him selfish. He would wake up before anyone in the house, make himself eggs and his breakfast and forget about everybody else. He would go food shopping and forget about everybody else. He would buy himself clothes and shoes and not think that maybe he has another person to LOOK OUT FOR. It was crazy. Then he would ask, "Why you say I'm selfish?" Cuz you ARE! And he would use his daughter as bait to get sympathy and attraction from other women outside our marriage. He literally told me one day, "I like having [my daughter] with me because then women who are afraid to approach me, can see that I am approachable [he wanted the mail-girl to get to know him, he had stated]" Then, if I said he was using his daughter, he simply said I was jealous.
Narcissists are controlling & have anger issues. As the family scapegoat, I was the punching bag - literally, for my dad’s dissatisfaction. 4 out of 7 days he would slap my face at the dinner table, when he didn’t like my opinion. I would not back down on retaining independent thought, so when I left at 16, my body was trashed. My mother was a covert narcissist; she didn’t physically abuse me, but didn’t stop it. After all, I needed to be broken, & resisted that. She simply withheld all forms of support - I had to earn ALL of the $ for my clothes, school supplies, gifts for my family etc, since grade 5. This was in an upper meddle class family. Well, that’s why leaving at 16 & being on my own was not a stretch.
OMG, I am experiencing this now. My daughter’s father is rarely ever around and when our daughter is excelling, awarded in her endeavors, he never acknowledges her accomplishment. Our daughter is an award winning writer, has written articles to include him and he’s NEVER read what she has written. He attempts to delay her progress by saying, “ hold off on that, I want to be apart of the process,” but he never revisits the situation. We have had to do many things on our own and tell him later after the progress has been made. He said he would take care of her braces a year ago, well this year, we went on and got the braces done….she doesn’t want to be a grown woman with crooked teeth, and I don’t blame her. Now he says, “I’m glad you went on and got that done,” as if it were done because he gave the green light and money to have them applied. He said he would cover her tuition, and now I’m on the hook for that. So unfair, but somehow I’ll figure that out too. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past 15 years. So exhausting to deal with, but I enjoy watching my baby girl thrive!
Love and light your way btw. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your frustrations. My daughter is gifted. Tested… straight A student. A musician, seamstress and just a loving person. He stopped speaking to her because her grandfather… his father came into her life and started doing things for her. He doesn’t have a relationship with him. So I know it was pure jealousy. They have the emotional capacity of a 7 year old. I don’t know how they fake it in the beginning.
Well, you sure don’t. You really broke the cycle with how you handled your diagnosis. I see and hear your happy little children around you in all these videos and it makes me so happy. You did it. ❤
I notice narcissist parents often make up very odd rules for their kids to follow that the average parent doesn't think of. Often bad enough that you have to question where did they get such odd beliefs from, since they are unheard of and very petty, unless they got those ideas from other narcissist family members. Also they often discount their children's opinions or act like they don't know what they are talking about even when logically, that child does have good ideas or makes sense of what they.have to say.
My parents raised me to make me feel like I needed to make other people think my ideas were their ideas, because as narcissist they need to feel that other people's ideas are their ideas. This has fucked me in my career.
This. Everytime I did something that would have been good for me they'd tell me 'But you're not resillient enough for that'. I thought it was honesty and tough love. They literally talked me out of getting my degree (nursing) so that it's harder to leave. Now they're suggesting that I should become a nurse as if this never happened and like it was their idea and aren't I dumb for not thinking of this yet... they all read from the same hymm sheet. I swear that it changes your brain so that even if you logically think something - you're stuck in learned helplessness. Keep fighting!
Because its such an unhealthy toxic relationship that its an addiction to break. So its a process to leave cause there are many layers to it. Its not like a non narcissistic relationship breakup. A narcissist relationship breakup is domestic violence type process of getting out.
It’s so beautiful hearing that your kids aren’t afraid of you anymore and yall have a connection now and they can talk to you! I really hope the same for my kids father
Can you do a video about the narcissists world and how they view things in terms of comparing themselves to others in their lifes? They think they are better than everyone else but due to their insecurity, do they compare always and do they feel bad about it?
I can believe my narcissistic mother was jealous of me😢 She taught my sister to dislike me She wanted to destroy me as a child, but I think God I was a strong person To not pick up the pattern and behavior of them when I realized what they were ,and what they were doing Try to put witchcraft on me 😂 I ghosted them and never look back,No contact Forgive quickly ,and move on🙏🏽
I’m so sorry, I’m glad you have videos like this with knowledge of what’s really going on. It wasn’t you and you never deserved that. Wishing you a happy and healthy life❤️
That’s so crazy….My ex literally said to me one day, I hate you and I hate the kids, if I didn’t have kids, I could be doing so much. He said they were holding him back. 😢
Thankyou for being so honest, it can't be easy to admit wrongdoing, especially so publicly aswell. Really appreciate you highlighting this personality disorder , even though at times it must be difficult to do so ❤
Oh my gosh mine competed with our son the minute he was born he would say things like “I wish you loved me like that” or “you love him more than me” it was wild. Then as my son grew up he became popular online and everybody loved him and wanted him around everyone except his dad. He never wanted my son to be great he immediately got jealous and stopped pouring into my son smh wow lee
Do narcissists BELIEVE their Own LIES!!?? Why do they blame you for literally what THEY did, knowing that THEY did it n NOT YOU but they BLAME YOU anyway!! And quadruple down on it !!! Then deflect from taking any accountability!! Accountability is legit like y'all's kryptonite!!!! How dare y'all even use the word "Love" when you clearly don't understand the definition at all whatsoever in reference to actually loving someone other than yourself! Its literally like a misery loves company type of thing 24/7 and I don't get it!! Y wanna be "Not Happy " or straight up starting arguments completely outta nowhere over the most miNUTE , Unnecessary, irrelevant and nonsensical things JUST TO TRIGGER the other person bc you notice their presence there n the room !??!? Its SOOOO BEYOND DRAINING AND BEYOND BEWILDERING AF!!!!🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️💯💯💯💯👍🏼
@MentalHealness TY Mr.LEE!! I've been Subbed to your channel for abt 3-4 yrs Now (I think) and your input/insight is SOOOO HELPFUL AND BENEFICIAL!!!! TY SOO MUCH FOR LETTING US HAVE EVEN A SLICE OF WHAT ACTUALLY GOES ON IN YOUR 🧠 SO THAT WE CAN FINALLY TRY N GET SOME UNDERSTANDING!! It is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT attempting to comprehend or even fathom NOT having Empathy AT ALL WHATSOEVER!! I genuinely cannot for the life of Me fully understand that level of heartlessness whether intentional or Not. TY for helpin SO Many Ppl!!~ I do however have a ❓ specific to You, if you wouldn't mind answerin possibly= **Being that YOU are a full fledge Narcissist, and y'all are basically incapable of empathy and compassion for the most part, How is it that You Now like being helpful to us that don't understand?? Is it bc you feel empowered by being the one with the answers plus all attention is on You bc we the (MANY)Viewers are in the submissive role bc we ALL are coming to YOU for assistance?? Orrr..is there more to it?? (My apologies for such a long rant/❓)..
They absolutely compete with their kids, even over the doubest stuff like who is taller! My ex narc wouldn't admit that his son was taller and turning out to be a better drummer. Good parents want to see their kids go farther and do more. Twisted narcs want to hold their kids back and take credit for anything the kids do manage to accomplish. So glad he's gone! Divorced him and went no contact over a year ago. Thank God we dont have kids together!
omg... this is so true. my son's father said he didn't think about our son and going to lunch with him, or doing anything related to his school during the week because he doesn't normally have him during the week... what? also he makes communication with the school my problem and if he doesn't get the communication he plays the victim... ummm you can contact the school too... it's crazy to me
The hallmark of good parenting is sacrifice/unselfishness/consideration. Narcs are highly allergic to that stuff. One story about a narc who started out with great parenting skills. He did a phenomenal job disciplining his son with balance (not too stern, not too soft). But everything changed one day when the son was a teenager. The narc dad and son raced athletically. The son won. After that moment, the narc dad was horrifically abusive to son.
Their overconfidence has everyone else fooled. People will say they're great and that you're a narcissist if/when you come out to the point where even with logic, it's very hard to leave. Makes you question everything and you wonder if you should stay. Especially of they've made you financially dependant. Communities like this are a godsend. It's weird to go through abuse and then witness human nature after. You can see how narcissism perpetuates itself.
My ex boyfriend has two young girls under 8. His ex, their mother is 100% a narcissist, I knew her and she was very selfish and abiut her. Even he claimed she was one.... But dating him for two years, he is one too. However he's the parent who's around, has to be the one who goes to everything, has to be the one to take care of them sick, he acts like he's father of the year and he actually acted like it, he truly was always abiut his kids, however he constantly made stupid rules that were odd, he always always always was yelling and complaining about the stress and his kids. So I am not sure if it's a different type of narc with his kids or if maybe he truly does care about them and isn't as much of a narcissist as I assumed..... 🤷
Not only are they bad parents but they also tell themselves in their sick minds that their children will grow up and find them and care for them 😂😂😂😂. Well am a child of an abusive narcissistic mother Go ask her how far? 6 years no contact because this people think their children owe them. My ex lacks so much empathy towards our son who has sickle cell disease he barely is in the life of our child but barely knows him too and he refused to coparent and gives barely anything for child support or help towards our child. When my son was 2 years old my ex told him that ( I live go retire in Africa because you dont need me anymore in my big mansion) now why will a father say that to his child? Because he never wanted that child in the first place and sees the child as a burden. All I told my ex was good riddance we wont look for you either. He wasnt expecting my response
I'm wondering Lee, narcissists have some moments of happiness like you said, but do narcissists encounter severe frustration daily? They want to be better than everyone else but when they have social media, don't they compare themselves a lot to others when people post achievements? I don't find any content on what the narcissist thinks when they themselves scroll through social media or if that doesn't bother them at all
My narcissistic ex-wife's mother told my ex-wife that it was okay that she told a married man that she was physically attracted to him while she was married to me.
Narcissistic parents always leave scarred children. Sometimes, narcissistic parents can protect the children from external harm (because they are possessive and see you as such), but there is noone to protect the child from the parent.
bingo 🎯
😢😢
Yes, he's possessive he shows others he loves his son I think so but he's a pawn and when the son doesn't go with his words then he turns on him I'm confused
Yeah, they do it wrong. Parents should make the home the safe place but still allow you to bump along in the world and face consequences so you can grow and adapt. Instead narcissistic parents teach you that you should be entitled and inflexible to everyone else but them. So you are screwed and they are where you can go for constant reinforcement of the delusions they created. This is maladaptive and now you are trapped.
When I was married with my narcissistic ex-husband, there were SO MANY TIMES that I would see just very selfish tendencies. My step daughter, his bio-daughter would constantly call him selfish. He would wake up before anyone in the house, make himself eggs and his breakfast and forget about everybody else. He would go food shopping and forget about everybody else. He would buy himself clothes and shoes and not think that maybe he has another person to LOOK OUT FOR. It was crazy. Then he would ask, "Why you say I'm selfish?" Cuz you ARE! And he would use his daughter as bait to get sympathy and attraction from other women outside our marriage. He literally told me one day, "I like having [my daughter] with me because then women who are afraid to approach me, can see that I am approachable [he wanted the mail-girl to get to know him, he had stated]" Then, if I said he was using his daughter, he simply said I was jealous.
🥲🥲
Narcissists are controlling & have anger issues. As the family scapegoat, I was the punching bag - literally, for my dad’s dissatisfaction. 4 out of 7 days he would slap my face at the dinner table, when he didn’t like my opinion. I would not back down on retaining independent thought, so when I left at 16, my body was trashed. My mother was a covert narcissist; she didn’t physically abuse me, but didn’t stop it. After all, I needed to be broken, & resisted that. She simply withheld all forms of support - I had to earn ALL of the $ for my clothes, school supplies, gifts for my family etc, since grade 5. This was in an upper meddle class family. Well, that’s why leaving at 16 & being on my own was not a stretch.
😢
@@MentalHealness right?
OMG, I am experiencing this now. My daughter’s father is rarely ever around and when our daughter is excelling, awarded in her endeavors, he never acknowledges her accomplishment.
Our daughter is an award winning writer, has written articles to include him and he’s NEVER read what she has written.
He attempts to delay her progress by saying, “ hold off on that, I want to be apart of the process,” but he never revisits the situation. We have had to do many things on our own and tell him later after the progress has been made.
He said he would take care of her braces a year ago, well this year, we went on and got the braces done….she doesn’t want to be a grown woman with crooked teeth, and I don’t blame her. Now he says, “I’m glad you went on and got that done,” as if it were done because he gave the green light and money to have them applied.
He said he would cover her tuition, and now I’m on the hook for that. So unfair, but somehow I’ll figure that out too. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past 15 years.
So exhausting to deal with, but I enjoy watching my baby girl thrive!
😫 I wish you the best!
Love and light your way btw. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your frustrations. My daughter is gifted. Tested… straight A student. A musician, seamstress and just a loving person. He stopped speaking to her because her grandfather… his father came into her life and started doing things for her. He doesn’t have a relationship with him. So I know it was pure jealousy. They have the emotional capacity of a 7 year old. I don’t know how they fake it in the beginning.
Well, you sure don’t. You really broke the cycle with how you handled your diagnosis. I see and hear your happy little children around you in all these videos and it makes me so happy. You did it. ❤
♥️
I notice narcissist parents often make up very odd rules for their kids to follow that the average parent doesn't think of. Often bad enough that you have to question where did they get such odd beliefs from, since they are unheard of and very petty, unless they got those ideas from other narcissist family members. Also they often discount their children's opinions or act like they don't know what they are talking about even when logically, that child does have good ideas or makes sense of what they.have to say.
interesting observation
My parents raised me to make me feel like I needed to make other people think my ideas were their ideas, because as narcissist they need to feel that other people's ideas are their ideas. This has fucked me in my career.
@@LTNyota this is the one!
This. Everytime I did something that would have been good for me they'd tell me 'But you're not resillient enough for that'. I thought it was honesty and tough love. They literally talked me out of getting my degree (nursing) so that it's harder to leave. Now they're suggesting that I should become a nurse as if this never happened and like it was their idea and aren't I dumb for not thinking of this yet... they all read from the same hymm sheet. I swear that it changes your brain so that even if you logically think something - you're stuck in learned helplessness. Keep fighting!
😢😢
This is why I don't understand how a person would want to go back to a narcissist Especially you know what they're about🤷🏽♀️
Called trauma bond, it doesnt seem like it makes since. Hard to break.
Because its such an unhealthy toxic relationship that its an addiction to break. So its a process to leave cause there are many layers to it. Its not like a non narcissistic relationship breakup. A narcissist relationship breakup is domestic violence type process of getting out.
🙌🏾
Narcissism is an addictive drug! Once you get hooked it's a bad habit to break!
It’s so beautiful hearing that your kids aren’t afraid of you anymore and yall have a connection now and they can talk to you! I really hope the same for my kids father
💜
Lee we truly appreciate your advice from what you learned. Wish more men/people could do this.
I appreciate that
I suffer from sociopathy sooooo…. I understand narcissistic personality but until they work on it they will be selfish n silence
He's jealous beyond belief. The ex takes credit for our daughters achievements, achievements she's done herself, not him, not me but her.
Can you do a video about the narcissists world and how they view things in terms of comparing themselves to others in their lifes? They think they are better than everyone else but due to their insecurity, do they compare always and do they feel bad about it?
‼️
I can believe my narcissistic mother was jealous of me😢 She taught my sister to dislike me She wanted to destroy me as a child, but I think God I was a strong person To not pick up the pattern and behavior of them when I realized what they were ,and what they were doing Try to put witchcraft on me 😂 I ghosted them and never look back,No contact Forgive quickly ,and move on🙏🏽
I’m so sorry, I’m glad you have videos like this with knowledge of what’s really going on. It wasn’t you and you never deserved that. Wishing you a happy and healthy life❤️
I was a married single parent so divorce was an easy transition (except emotionally) because I did everything anyway! I just got rid of the nuisance!
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The selfishness, calice and malice , no heart havin is literally all opposite traits of Nurturing and we all know that kids need to be nurtured. ❤💯
♥️
Because they create narcissists
Def a possibility
Thank you so much for sharing this It's a lot of clarity❤
You are so welcome
That’s so crazy….My ex literally said to me one day, I hate you and I hate the kids, if I didn’t have kids, I could be doing so much. He said they were holding him back. 😢
My husband has said the same thing to my kids too. It cuts deep.
💯
I've seen moms (and dads) pick favorites then blatantly be super sweet to one, then vile vulger hateful to the other
😩
Thankyou for being so honest, it can't be easy to admit wrongdoing, especially so publicly aswell. Really appreciate you highlighting this personality disorder , even though at times it must be difficult to do so ❤
♥️
Oh my gosh mine competed with our son the minute he was born he would say things like “I wish you loved me like that” or “you love him more than me” it was wild. Then as my son grew up he became popular online and everybody loved him and wanted him around everyone except his dad. He never wanted my son to be great he immediately got jealous and stopped pouring into my son smh wow lee
Do narcissists BELIEVE their Own LIES!!?? Why do they blame you for literally what THEY did, knowing that THEY did it n NOT YOU but they BLAME YOU anyway!! And quadruple down on it !!! Then deflect from taking any accountability!! Accountability is legit like y'all's kryptonite!!!! How dare y'all even use the word "Love" when you clearly don't understand the definition at all whatsoever in reference to actually loving someone other than yourself! Its literally like a misery loves company type of thing 24/7 and I don't get it!! Y wanna be "Not Happy " or straight up starting arguments completely outta nowhere over the most miNUTE , Unnecessary, irrelevant and nonsensical things JUST TO TRIGGER the other person bc you notice their presence there n the room !??!? Its SOOOO BEYOND DRAINING AND BEYOND BEWILDERING AF!!!!🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️💯💯💯💯👍🏼
I will do a video on this tomorrow
@MentalHealness TY Mr.LEE!! I've been Subbed to your channel for abt 3-4 yrs Now (I think) and your input/insight is SOOOO HELPFUL AND BENEFICIAL!!!! TY SOO MUCH FOR LETTING US HAVE EVEN A SLICE OF WHAT ACTUALLY GOES ON IN YOUR 🧠 SO THAT WE CAN FINALLY TRY N GET SOME UNDERSTANDING!! It is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT attempting to comprehend or even fathom NOT having Empathy AT ALL WHATSOEVER!! I genuinely cannot for the life of Me fully understand that level of heartlessness whether intentional or Not. TY for helpin SO Many Ppl!!~ I do however have a ❓ specific to You, if you wouldn't mind answerin possibly= **Being that YOU are a full fledge Narcissist, and y'all are basically incapable of empathy and compassion for the most part, How is it that You Now like being helpful to us that don't understand?? Is it bc you feel empowered by being the one with the answers plus all attention is on You bc we the (MANY)Viewers are in the submissive role bc we ALL are coming to YOU for assistance?? Orrr..is there more to it?? (My apologies for such a long rant/❓)..
They absolutely compete with their kids, even over the doubest stuff like who is taller! My ex narc wouldn't admit that his son was taller and turning out to be a better drummer. Good parents want to see their kids go farther and do more. Twisted narcs want to hold their kids back and take credit for anything the kids do manage to accomplish. So glad he's gone! Divorced him and went no contact over a year ago. Thank God we dont have kids together!
This is all very true. As an middle age adult I'm still dealing with this. Selfish and emotional distant parent. Great video.
Thank you
Thank you for helping ppl
You’re welcome
omg... this is so true. my son's father said he didn't think about our son and going to lunch with him, or doing anything related to his school during the week because he doesn't normally have him during the week... what? also he makes communication with the school my problem and if he doesn't get the communication he plays the victim... ummm you can contact the school too... it's crazy to me
The hallmark of good parenting is sacrifice/unselfishness/consideration. Narcs are highly allergic to that stuff.
One story about a narc who started out with great parenting skills. He did a phenomenal job disciplining his son with balance (not too stern, not too soft). But everything changed one day when the son was a teenager. The narc dad and son raced athletically. The son won. After that moment, the narc dad was horrifically abusive to son.
oh wow, wtf...that dad is truly a childish lil boy inside that grown body . That situation exposed it
💯💯
Their overconfidence has everyone else fooled. People will say they're great and that you're a narcissist if/when you come out to the point where even with logic, it's very hard to leave. Makes you question everything and you wonder if you should stay. Especially of they've made you financially dependant. Communities like this are a godsend. It's weird to go through abuse and then witness human nature after. You can see how narcissism perpetuates itself.
‼️‼️
This explains alot...thanks for sharing this
🙌🏾
My ex boyfriend has two young girls under 8. His ex, their mother is 100% a narcissist, I knew her and she was very selfish and abiut her. Even he claimed she was one.... But dating him for two years, he is one too. However he's the parent who's around, has to be the one who goes to everything, has to be the one to take care of them sick, he acts like he's father of the year and he actually acted like it, he truly was always abiut his kids, however he constantly made stupid rules that were odd, he always always always was yelling and complaining about the stress and his kids. So I am not sure if it's a different type of narc with his kids or if maybe he truly does care about them and isn't as much of a narcissist as I assumed..... 🤷
This video tells everything I experienced.Literally!!OMG🤔
🙏🏽
This is very timely!!!!!! I need to talk to you sir!!!!
🙌🏾
They can be I asked my daughters dad to go to therapy and he just won’t open uo
😩
Thank you Lee...
You’re welcome
Not only are they bad parents but they also tell themselves in their sick minds that their children will grow up and find them and care for them 😂😂😂😂. Well am a child of an abusive narcissistic mother Go ask her how far? 6 years no contact because this people think their children owe them. My ex lacks so much empathy towards our son who has sickle cell disease he barely is in the life of our child but barely knows him too and he refused to coparent and gives barely anything for child support or help towards our child. When my son was 2 years old my ex told him that ( I live go retire in Africa because you dont need me anymore in my big mansion) now why will a father say that to his child? Because he never wanted that child in the first place and sees the child as a burden. All I told my ex was good riddance we wont look for you either. He wasnt expecting my response
😂
That's why I forgive them but I cannot be around them ever again✌️
🙏
I'm wondering Lee, narcissists have some moments of happiness like you said, but do narcissists encounter severe frustration daily? They want to be better than everyone else but when they have social media, don't they compare themselves a lot to others when people post achievements? I don't find any content on what the narcissist thinks when they themselves scroll through social media or if that doesn't bother them at all
it depends
@@MentalHealness Can you maybe make a video about narcissists and comparing themselves?
God bless you🙏🏽💞
🙌🏾 God bless you as well.
Orrrrr it’s more like it’s very hard to focus on anyone else when your own needs are going unmet
‼️‼️
My narcissistic ex-wife's mother told my ex-wife that it was okay that she told a married man that she was physically attracted to him while she was married to me.
🙃
Is it possible to be the golden child even though you were the only one?
😢
Family therapy
😅
🙏🏼🔥🔥🔥
🔥🙏🏽
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🔥
🔥🔥🔥
🔥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❤
🔥🔥🔥
❤️🔥
♥️
🏆
🙌🏾
Pls pls pls: use planned parenthood!
❤️🩹‼️