What Makes Someone Give Up Being Single? (Feat. My Wife Audrey)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
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Stop trying to find commitment. Instead BE a person who is committed. Stop trying to find love. BE a person who is loveable. Do the things in your control, and don’t place your emotions in external elements. The peace and love in yourself will attract the peace and love in others.
Well said 😊
I believe in your statement “Stop trying to find ...” It relieves the anxiety and emotional states of mind when you D🚫N’T TRY.
Stop with the g-d directives, Ms Bossy.
you still need people to Be these things ...
I think we need to stop worrying about finding a person who will commit, and concentrate more on committing to ourselves, knowing exactly what we want and showing up as the person who anyone would be overjoyed to commit to ❤❤
one of the best comments I read in a long time ❤🎉
this was a great comment. Thank you!!!
Boom! This is the stuff. It comes from you first and then someone will mirror that energy.
Yessssss, Honey🏹🎯🌬️🩵
As if ppl actually know what they want...that in itself is a full life journey
They validate each other. They listen to each other. That truly is everything.
“ A relationship is saying yes to something that actually beats with the rhythm of your life”
What a wonderful definition. From now on this line is my guide 😊
Thank you so much M&A
❤
It's horrific. No relationship is going to beat with the whatever to your life. You're going to have to shape your life around the relationship. This is such lazy thinking. No marriage is going to endure this kind of nonsense. Especially if they have kids.
@@TJ-kk5zf you are right , but I think Matthew meant when he said the beat of your life is your values, principles, dreams, perspective, your deep essence .
@@buda2049 I listened to several of his videos, and a lot of this stuff is very vapid and sweet to listen to but unrealistic
I always love listening to Audrey. She seems so grounded and sensible.
agreed! ❤
I think she is..
I love her too! Finally, substance and proper dissection of issues.
So impressed how centered, curious, & confident Audrey is; what a great partnership! Congratulations on your marriage!
I love Audrey. Love the woman's perspective and she's so well spoken and insightful.
yes she is!
Yes, her answers are very thoughtful and insightful. You can almost see the wheels turning in her head lol.
Audrey is lovely! So natural and calm and sensible. She isn't trying to win over her audience with lashes and sexy attire but comfortable in her own skin. A great example for other women and men. Your choice for this woman AND hers as well Matthew says alot about your own character. Also, this is a great platform to show responses and reactions from a HEALTHY male and female realationship
I am 54 and found love with a beautiful man last year. I am enjoying the challenges of our togetherness. I love the feeling of comfort and support that I have with him. I am ready for commitment.
im old that helped me. no offense about the old comment lol
Matt you are great, but I love listening to Audrey talk about this as a woman. It hits home differently. Enjoyed every minute of this podcast, please do more of these with your wife on different topics! You both are so amazing!
yes please ❤
Love what Audrey said at the end about if someone isn’t ready it doesn’t matter how hard you try to communicate what you want they aren’t there yet. Please do more videos together they work so well
Anyone else feel more healed just from watching this?
Watching/hearing this conversation felt like a glimpse into experiencing the kind of relationship you talked about and brought me so much peace and hope. Thank you both! ❤
I feel the same.. 😊
Yes
9:15 I relate to this a lot. When I look back on my life, my friends and I come to the conclusion that my "problem" wasn't having relationships with the wrong or bad guys, but guys with the wrong timing. I met some amazing guys along the journey, but they definitely weren't ready. In addition to what Matthew said, I would say that if a man is not well-established professionally (I'm not even saying money, but he needs a clear professional plan), if he is not well with his health (physical or mental) and if his family depends on him and is going through due to some serious problem, chances are that he doesn't feel ready for the next step. At least, not a man in a more masculine energy.
Audrey is such an intelligent and refined person!! NO SURPRISE SHE IS FRENCH 😁
You married a very intelligent, beautiful and understanding lady Matt, congrats!! Hope I find the same in my future husband. 👏 👍🏽 👌🏽 😉 ❤️
You will! Good luck! ❤
@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Thank you! 🙏🏽
So happy to know someone like Audrey exists! Sending virtual love; such an intelligent and beautiful human being!
Matt is right we need to feel safe in our commitment not pressured around the other person.
Congratulations on your marriage! You guys are a fantastic couple. I also appreciate all your effort on providing your audience with the right insight on choosing the right one
Can confirm Matthew's POV that a guy's friend group impacts their desire to commit. I work in tech and used to party with a group of 24 to 30 something guys. They were interested in having girlfriends but defiinitely not ready for permanent commitment. Then one of them popped the question to their gal, and next thing you know, all the guys in the group were determined to pair off and get married before they turned 30. Lost my party crew but was happy to see them in relationships finally.
Like my father used to say “if you hang out with wolves, you learn how to howl” or something like that 😅
Sounds like they left their current gfs though?
@@XPrincess30 No - they are all married to them. They just needed to see a peer take the plunge.
@@tek3freakthat’s encouraging ❤
Imagine finding out that your boyfriend married you not because he loves you, but only because his friends were getting married 💀
The kind of man who does that is likely the kind of man who follows the crowd (no mind of his own) got bored and lonely without them. He wanted the equivalent of a pet or a "forever bro" that wasn't going to leave easily.
You might argue, "well, he could've just made new friends who partied!" People don't realize that finding friends is incredibly difficult and it only gets harder as you age.
In high school one of our coaches was telling us that was the reason he got married...bc his friends were. The man was "weird" with female students and we found out their relationship was not good.
Anyway, the dude's boredom, loneliness and/or peer pressure was alot stronger than his interest in you. It's not a flex that your man married you bc his friends were getting married. Let's not make this a healthy normal thing to let fly. Don't let yourself, your sister, your daughter accept this as, "oh, it's just a normal-man thing." It's not.
I hope I find a man in 2024 that wants to commit in an exclusive relationship.
I definitely want to be a partner in a relationship with someone that is actually wanting a life with a best friend to ride life’s ups and downs to work together as a team. I’m definitely ready for that in life 🥰
good luck, this is the year! ❤
As rare as hens teeth..or a needle in a haystack.
I prefer this dialogue talk to the old monologues. It is a give and take with each of you asking questions and pointing out things the other doesn't. This format is nice.
Audrey, thank you so much for bringing up the point that you need to basically take off the rose colored glasses if someone is just wasting your time and ultimately not willing to change. I get sad when people invest so much time, love and effort into someone who is presenting phony affection, caring or love in order to just use that person for years. I appreciate that you made a point to make that distinction and for people to use their common sense and discernment when they see red flags.
Love seeing your evolution! I have been watching since 2016 as a young college female. I married my husband last year. I so appreciate this content! Happy to see that you are creating a life with such a wise and lovely women.
i’ve also been watching since 2016 as an 18 year old just starting out in the dating world. i’m now 26 with a husband and 2 kids! i’d love to see more content aimed at married couples trying to keep the romance alive.
@@drownziWhere the heck are y’all finding these men 😅
Under a mulberry bush. The probability of their marriages lasting is quite low..
jessicahitchens6926 Sheesh
I never even thought about the idea of changing my name once married, and you two just made it seem so special and you could really see how honored Matthew is to have Audrey change it. SO SWEET.
I really have to say that I no longer believed in relationships and the bad memories of a relationship prevailed. But since I've been watching you in your posts, I've rediscovered my faith in a relationship. You are really so harmonious and balanced with each other, you have become role models for me when it comes to relationships
That's so great to hear! It can be difficult to keep faith, but it's so worth it.❤ I'm excited about you eventually getting what you deserve!
I like what she said ,” I like you , but I love me more”, glad to meet her and I just watched Lewis homes video the other day w his fiancé . It’s helpful to see the relationships in action
However, I really love listening to Matthew and so glad that he found Audrey. Congratulations on your recent marriage 🎉🎉🎉. They are a wonderful pair. I loved listening to Matthew for the last two years, loved when he first found and introduced Audrey to us and look forward to listening to both of you (and the entire crew, including Jameson and your brother Stephen, so adorable he is) going forward. Matthew really helped to get me through one of the toughest times of my life when I thought I lost my relationship. I was truly heartbroken and I remember the one thing he said in his interview with Jay shetty (I only know of one possibly two interviews they have done together so I apologize if there were more or less) but that one thing from that interview he said was one of his goals was to make people feel less alone in their suffering. And has been more valuable than I can say. The both of you are so empathetic & emotionally intelligent, I will continue to listen to you for as long as you make yourselves available to us. So thank you from the bottom of my heart 💜
Omg! BIG congratulations 🍾 🎉👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I am so happy for you Matthew!!! 😊I didn’t know you were married!!! ❤❤❤
I actually do like the fact that Audrey is very acrticulate and poised, in a way.
She comes accross as a confortable and serene woman! ✨
Thank you for this very enlightening insight! 😊👍🏾
I loved this video- Audrey brings additional substance. ❤
BUT is it all about Matthew ? what about Audrey and what she needs ?
The part where he says he struggled with asking for what he needs and wants is me to a tea. It's one of my biggest struggles is stating what I want and need because I worry so much about everyone else. I struggle with it for the exact same reason, fear that they'll get angry or won't understand me and/or leave.
I'm now doing so much better and I am stating those things 😊
congrats on the marriage!!!! you two are perfect together and so mature ♥️
i keep forgetting that Audrey is French; due to her having the most West Londoner accent ever xD
Yes, she's great !
She looks Latina!
❤❤❤
You're right ! I felt the same. And as a french person, I can say that her English should makes us proud. 🙂
She's French?
I Love Audrey so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Hope some day she decides to make short videos by herself as well ☺️🩷
I would watch that! ❤
I asked my ‘guides’, helpers, to help me become the person that my friend needed me to be, instead of wanting him to be different in some way from who he was, to suit me. This was a game changer. I love the part where they discuss about being a team mate who wants to find the key to meeting their partners needs, wishes, wants more fully.
I love how Audrey is so smart! She has really quality things to say that compliment everything Matthew has talked about for years. This is not typically the case when a significant other is brought into the limelight. She really brings value to the podcast.
Such precious conversations, such vulnerability, such clarity. Love you, guys ❤
It takes two people to tango … if only one person does the asking and being curious, and the other person just enjoys that giving, that won’t last long … there will be a break… takes two people to ask these questions of each other … commitment to actual relationship not a person in reality …
Adorable couple!! Congratulations to the newly married couple!! Happy for Matthew and Audrey! May y'all have many wonderful years together!! ❤❤❤
I didn’t know you two were married !! I have to say you are such a beautiful couple, I have always really liked Audrey and it’s such a delightful surprise she’s Matthew’s wife !
They get their needs and desires met, they realize time is running out, they like having a fallback in case of disaster. It's pretty rare for people to stop being single _solely_ because of how great the other person is.
This is an enlightening video. I think it demonstrates the fact that the "they met - and they lived happily ever after" fairy tales we were raised with created a false narrative. Relationships take work and troubleshooting on an ongoing basis. Even the comment Audrey made re "I think I talk too much" reminded me of a completely unrelated video from James Smith. He chose to have walking dates because he found in certain situations it was more natural and easier to talk - such as while walking. It seems like such a small idea to say we'll walk the dog together once a week and then I'll get my alone time so we're both satisfied - yet it's way more thought and insight than we were taught as kids to believe will be required to "live happily ever after". I really appreciate how honest you both are as it has me questioning a lot of assumptions I've made that have hurt my private life.
I love it when Audrey is on as well, and you guys chat about different topics. Hope to see more of Audrey 💛
Thanks a lot for sharing, you did a really great job.
But the winner is your wife for sure, she gets a perfect man! 👍😄👏🙌🎉
Noone is perfect
I love Audrey! Really great probing questions and love the way she peels the layers of the onion and digs deeper. Would be awesome to see more of her in the vids. Excellent content as always on this channel, such natural speakers. ❤
I would love to hear more on Audrey's insights in understanding our partner, she seems to have amazing emotional intelligence and I learned a lot from her. I think we need to learn more about keeping the relationship happy and working on it, rather than only focusing on what we want and what we need and breaking things off when we don't get it.
Time, and timing, is intergral to EVERYTHING in life. Absolutely everything. The depth and implications of these crucial ingredients are massive.
For men too. They’ve been so damaged they don’t want to commit either.
truth ❤
The issue is they take no accountability and don't do the work. They throw themselves into work for material gain /survival. And are on auto pilot...
I love how Audrey talks.. she's so thoughtful and elegant. I really enjoyed listening to this. As a 25 year old woman I just feel a bit sad about how bleak my dating life is, and has been for years. I struggle to find someone I truly connect with on an emotional level, which is most important to me. Conversation feels like pulling teeth. The men I have rarely connected with emotionally only want sex. Which is fine, but I want commitment and am not interested in just that. I don't know if it's my age or circumstance or something I need to reframe. I truly do try to be the best version of myself and am always working on some aspect of my life. I know I should just be patient but I feel like it's an inevitable dead end. Sorry for the shout into the void. Just wanted to get my thoughts down.
Have more strict standards, pre vet before you meet him in person (if its an online date), ask the tough questions maybe upfront or on date two (if you want to keep first date more about fun and being lighthearted). ( Plan on asking 2 to 3 tough questions per date, so as to not overwhelm a man). I am 44 and still single, and I look back on the dead end connections I had accross time and wishing it was different. In retrospect most men were emotionally unavailable that I dated. The thing is it doesn't just majically happen to a man that he likes you for more than physicality.( He may have never had any intentions to grow into a relationship from the get go.) Best case scenario is to confirm his intentions from the very beginning of the connection (preferably date 1) and watch his behavior over time to see if it feels like he is backing up his intent for a solid relationship by putting in some effort. I wasnt one to speak up too much when I was younger because I did not want to make the man uncomfortable. I also had 'it will happen when it happens' mentality, which as you can see can leave you in mid 40s and still having never found a commitment ready male.
Nothing happens just like that. The culture in England in dating is bad. My advice? Travel, go to different places, do not restrict yourself just to Europe. There are really lovely men out there, just not very many in England. Even Scotland is much better :)
Stop sleeping with them without a 💍
Your in your mid 20s. Still very young. I'd go older with men... your dealing with adolescents. It was the same for me when I was your age. Think outside the box.. I'm not going to lie, it is very bleak but remember you have time on your side. Be incredibly discerning.
Always speak up and be blunt especially with men. And drop them quickly too if not up to your standards. It's a hard slog..and not really worth the effort 🤣
Wow I can listen to her talking for hours her voice and accent are so soothing
When I listen to her, I understand why Matthew married me (besides the fact that she's gorgeous)....
Listening to your advice is always so healing ❤ It reinforces that I’m on the right path and making the right choices that honor me.
I'm addicted to Matthew's discussions 😂
Congratulations Audrey and Matt!!!🎉🎉🎉 I'm loving this well rounded dynamic and interchange!!! 💞
Congratulations Matt and Audrey what a beautiful couple.As a senior citizen I have given up completely it's all about reaching a certain age and the other people want a younger partner. I thought I'd meet someone when I retired and they are all not wanting a relationship or someone younger that's my experience these day's. Widower's do jump fast Audrey is right but senior women don't want to be a maid and a cook in the latter year's.
I feel you. I wouldn't call myself senior just yet, but I am 46 and that is certainly my near future and wholeheartedly agree that I do not want to be a cook and maid for anyone but my friends and family, who I don't see everyday.
I think that kind of mad ability to love a man is lost after 25. I still remember how I felt about the first man I loved for real and sadly I never felt like that ever since.
I did pursue relationships, but at every turn of years I felt it was less and less worth it.
Have a toxic one-night-stand in my 30's to thank for at least having had a son.
And especially after being a mother, I felt the most unconditional love ever to this day. Only regret is I couldn't give my son a happy family, but I did my absolute best to make HIM feel loved every single day.
Again, after having a son, I couldn't care less about having another go at any man, younger or older.
Audrey says it's rare to find long lasting relationships in your 20s. To me that's like saying a relationship can last when it is founded in gray boring compromise.
I clearly remember contemplating my first love and wondering how lovely he would look all wrinkly, toothless and old.
I never felt like that ever again.
So yes, looking at my senior years as a very selfish old spinster who missed the relationship bus in her youth and got lucky to at least know the supreme love of having a child.
So very true- being someones cook and maid! Ive been that for 4 years and have had enough of it. 46yo is still a relatively young age in this era and you can still look great with some effort!
The only love is between a mother and her child. The rest is infatuation.
Aww now that you have my name it feels really nice ❤❤
Your wife is very beautiful, and intelligent and well spoken. It’s the first time I have seen her. Congratulations. I am so happy for you.
I am not treading on egg shells, more trying to convince a man to be in a relationship. Imo More women actually need to set the standard to men that they can’t just hit and quit or keep it causal. So men don’t have such an open option.
I wonder what Audrey thinks about the “light on” theory on Matthew. Was his light “on” when they met? Or was she the one woman that just captured Matthew’s heart. I hope they can talk about it one day❤
I thought I had the formula when I asked my ex what can I do better or different 6 months in after our first hiccup. He said no, you’re perfect. I knew I was not, but he wasn’t at the place to formulate a genuine answer. I through trying to be successful with him and navigate his avoidant nature learned a lot about myself and my avoidant tendencies. It’s been hard and a lot of tears have been shed, and I’m sure there will be more, but I am happy I was forced through that heartbreak to grow and advocate for myself better. I hope to meet someone ready to communicate the way Matthew and Audrey do. Someone that can at least care enough to work at relating not run and hide, that behavior is incredibly isolating and triggering for my neglect, abandonment and unseen wounds. Terribly disregulating.
Try going to an chiropractor for your constant ear pain. The bones in your skull could be out of alignment, and the nerves going through your spine could be get squished. I just don't want you to be in pain anymore so you can spend the rest of your life happy with your new wife. I hope this helps. ❤
I work with University students and it was so heartening to work with several young 21 year old male students who do want to find connected relationships but don't know how too. Thought 6 share.
You got married!?! Congratulations guys!! 🎉
In Italy?! Wow 😊 Nice 👍 ❤love that you had a one-month long honeymoon!! Love you both
Thanks for bringing this up! I went on/off in a situationship for 2 years with someone who refused to call me his girlfriend, was spending time with other people as well as me and then putting me down when I got upset about it- ughgh if this helps anyone not waste their time and get their heart hurt in the process - good! 👍👍👍
Must've been a dismissive avoidant
You got married! Congratulations 🎉
Love listening to Audrey. She’s seems lovely, down to earth, grounded and wise. ❤
Excellent exchange of information and ideas. Your emotional intelligence is commendable! Sadly there are so many men and women out there spewing disdain and who are emotional relationship assassins...it scares everyone away from even wanting to try. Stay the course! You're helping a lot of people!
I would love to meet a man who is so respectful and creates so much peace in my life.
I’m nearly 40 and still haven’t met him.
I’m considering moving out of San Diego to meet my person.
Could you get Aubrey more on your podcast ? She is an amazing model for women to understand how to offer an safe and loving relationship to their loved ones and also at the same time value ourselves 🎉
Wow Matt, you caught a good one. You both are like Yin and Yang complimenting each other in your perspectives.
Please don't ever feel there is a competition but rather compliment and a beautiful dynamic!
Congratulations the Husseys.
When Audrey talks I don’t hear or connect with what she says because she is so beautiful I cannot think I only watch her face and sweetness🤩💐🧡🥰
I absolutely love your content, Matt and Audrey, and I signed up for your program about a month ago. I think everybody should sign up for your program whether you’re in a relationship or not, whether you want one or not because what you teach about how to be the best person possible for yourself and for others is amazing. I also love the fact that you started your career, Matt, as a single person and I love being on this journey with you and Audrey as you use your Relationship as a proving ground for what you preach and also as a way to teach us. Thank you so much, happy new year and congratulations on your marriage!
I believe if you are happy in your soul. You will attract the right person who will find peace in you.❤
Matt congrats with your wife... keep doing wjat you doing getting better with age...
You two should start a podcast ❤ great episode ❤
Omg, Audrey is great! Love you female perspective.
❤thank you!
For a while i thought Matthew was gay 😅… I couldn’t believe ay straight man could understand women so well… also saw a video once where he was recording and speaking to another man behind the camera and thought it was his partner!
It’s nice to finally see who his wife is.
Really enjoyed this discussion. I love what Audrey said about not taking this the wrong way and staying in a situation where someone will never give you what you want and to keep trying to 'change' them to make them ready. *I like you but I like me more.*
So happy the two of you met!
Thanks lovely married couple!
14:20
The BEST, most useful advice,
I have ever heard in a podcast!! 👏
It goes across so many boards.
(Beautiful elegant couple!!)
Other than the peer group I think it's just a gut feeling, when a guy finds someone that's super compatible they just feel it
Excellent discussion, thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas Matthew and Audrey!
You two make such a beautiful couple! 👏🏼 she is super sweet and just a breath of fresh air. ❤
Audrey, I loved your wedding dress 💛 thank you for this awesome video.
The episode was full of meaningful thoughts.
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Thank you so much Matthew for being able to express your need for alone time. I totally agree with you. I find myself at times wanting to be away so I can recharge and people taking offense to it. Growing up, I felt like I needed to change because I wasn’t fulfilling people needs. I now know that I wasn’t taking care of myself.
So good! I love watching you two chat with each other and the greenery is everything!1 💚💚
Audrey said all the right things, it was my curiousity too
I loved when you said ‘because you are on drugs’ 😂 because it is flippin’ accurate. It’s not like you mean to neglect the rest of your life, it’s just the pull is extremely magnetic and intense. ❤
Can we talk about how many married men come on to us single gals? I mean they aren’t the only ones but it makes me doubt that men can be faithfully married. These aren’t scummy guys either. They are super kind etc. Matthew you’re freshly married so you haven’t felt the seven year itch. It would be nice once you’ve reached that mark to reassure the rest of us. But do faithful husbands exist? Or are they the unicorns?
Seriously. This.
Really nice listening to you 2. So beautiful to see how much you both mentally sync up. Hope I can find something like this someday.
I'm so glad you covered this, i did ask for space in my last relationship and they showed up in my door like a psycho.... Sweetest guy but had a lot of issues. Sucked it went that way because i shut the door completely... But this chat helped me know what i was asking for was healthy and it was ok. So thank you
Congrats Matt and Audrey! Finally. 🎉🎉🎉
Even if in a relationship I don't think I'm ever the only one in it. There is always the 'other' choice lurking and my partner will extend an invitation. The point is not that he would entirely act on it, but the 'option' is kept open. The contact has been made. It never a 'No Thank you' I'm happy, it's not an option. And that behavior turns me Off to no end. It leaves me cold and I don't want to be touched by him emotionally or physically. And that is sad, and unsustainable over the long when he has so much to offer that instantly becomes uninteresting by possibly just my "perception" of his lack of integrity.
I can hear you two talk for hours❤❤❤
You're lovely together.
Many blessings on your future. Thank you for all the great information…. I am signed up for the 23rd but I work at 12 hour day so I hope it’s going to be available for those of us who registered on demand.
Great talk..simple and true. So viele Menschen sind wahnsinnig ICH bezogen. Fragen, Fragen, Dinge ansprechen ect. Wo bleibt das Interesse am Anderen?