Hi Jade. some many great bits of wisdom in here. I really liked when you said that saying everything will be okay, etc, just gives ocd more power. A lot of people don't realize that.
Hey Jade, thanks for taking the time to respond with this video. I struggle to get my head around making peace with a situation, when it's so easy just to pull the plug. It's not a case of should i be with her? My mind is always thinking I want to leave, imagining myself with other people, I want to leave i want to leave!
I suggest making peace with living in this uncertainty forever and being ok with that - only then will ocd loosen its grip as it will feel that you’re no longer afraid in reality
Sorry, this one is going to be a long-post, probably confusing and insane, but it is what it is, that's my brain. I'm not even sure it's OCD, but it definitely involves a lot of rumination, anxiety, intrusive and conflictive thoughts and makes me feel stuck, guilty and ashamed. Paranoid OCD. How about accepting fear of not only being constantly judged by strangers but also being potentially physically attacked/assaulted by random people who don't like you (on the street/in pub etc.)? I literally feel in danger every second I stay out of my flat and constantly trying to protect myself/prevent judgement or attack. As of prevention methods - I try to act masculine, angry and stare at people to intimidate them, or I completely withdraw and become silent and terrified, avoiding looking at people. Then, I start judging myself for being weak and not looking at people or not trying to "face the fear", so I start my aggressive starring again and the cycle repeats. Being not enough angry/authentic OCD. I believe that I am suppressing my anger and afraid to be angry/show anger in public or to little known people, or to well known but potentially dangerous people. Also I believe that anger is destructive emotion when not expressed, and when suppressed, can cause anxiety and depression. There's a quote about anger: "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured" that also forged my belief that I should express anger no matter what whenever I feel irritated. And I was feeling mad and irritated a lot at people, their behavior, their responses, their acts etc. Also, before in my life I was trying to please everyone and not trigger negative response towards myself, often times, as I believe, suppressing my anger. Later I started to feel fake for not showing my anger and for pleasing people/trying to be nice, so I started to try to be more angry, looking for any occasion to try to stand out for my boundaries aggressively, or at least as aggressively as I could, looking for something I don't like when someone does something to me and trying to tell them all I think assertively (better aggressively) in the face. Currently, whenever I feel angry, I think I should let it out at those, who I become angry at, or at generally any stranger on the street if I cannot reach the "provoker" or I am just angry at myself. Again, after a while of trying to act angrily I start feeling terrified that something bad will actually happen if I continue this behavior, like someone will attack me for that, so I stop, then I think of myself as of a weak person , coward, who is terrified to express anger, that keeping anger inside will harm me, that I won't be truly myself and authentic, that people will consider me weak and won't like me, and then the cycle restarts. Again, when I hear that anger can lead to trouble or prison, I start to think about myself as if I'm adopting a fake morality, cowardliness, because I'd rather be authentic but in prison than will be fake but free. However, I'm terrified about getting into prison as well for my behavior. Narcissistic OCD. Whenever I feel better and stronger or when I want to feel better and stronger, I start to feel like I want keep this feeling up, and to do this, I am trying to dominate over people, again, mainly by intimidating strangers with aggressive starring (especially masculine dangerous males, since they trigger me the most by being confident). Or by trying to be masculine and superior. It feels like I can show them how cool and fearless I am, how am I above them. So I believe this way I am trying to rise my self-esteem and get some attention and validation. I have urges to behave this way, and if I'm not, I get anxious and angry because I'm not behaving as I want to. The thing that stops me, again, fear of being punished for my behavior, fear of rejection. But again, due to the fear to not being authentic and not being able to express myself in any way I want and freely, I engage into another cycle and everything repeats. And something that generalises all the said above: Loneliness OCD. I crave for social connection, friends, relationships, some life excitement. But I feel so disconnected from people, feel alien, afraid, terribly lonely, unwanted, unneeded, without clear values and life purpose. And that's why I believe all my obsessions are people-oriented and authenticity-oriented - I want to get connected with people, be sociable, feel good and comfortable with others and be myself.
I recommend exposure therapy as guided by a therapist or coach to get you out more and facing fears, while also reading the myth of self esteem by Albert Ellis and working on reducing your high emotions through rational thinking
@@jadet1337 Yeah, I’m reading Myth of Self-Esteem, but still getting lots of questions about self acceptance, let’s say, I don’t understand where is myself, where is not, or if I accept my “bad” behavior, it means I can keep on doing it, and if it means I cannot do it, so how then I accept myself. Also it possesses a lot of philosophy that can be interpreted in different ways and my OCD twists it into the way that serves more bad than good to me.
Hi jade, I’m hoping you can give me some guidance and advice on something I don’t seem to be able to get my head around. I have suffered for 6 plus years with sensorimotor and although it’s a different subtype of ocd to yours I know it’s all the same concept. I have overcome my sensorimotor obsessions every time (sometimes after months of torment and horrendous anxiety) which obviously means I accept it and everything that goes with it unconditionally for a time at least, but then I always slip back into it and get horrendously stuck again. I think I’ve developed a fear now of not being able to handle it when it comes back (even though I know how!) sounds so silly but everyone talks of learning rationality along the way which eventually leads to recovery but I just don’t seem to ever get any further along with each setback even though I have the strongest proof of all that I can because I’ve come out of it every time!!! I act and think the same every time when I’ve already proven I can come out if it. Do you know what the mistake is I’m making here? I don’t think I’m actually that bothered about my hyper awareness/sensorimotor obsession as I am knowing I can’t handle a set back when it happens. Hope this makes sense! X
Hey Claire - as this was my primary fear I have a good idea about what's going on - It's purely fear of fear. Fear of OCD being present in your life. There's more than likely more belief work to be done about not needing recovery at all, at least fully. You're internal thermometer and internal hawk knows you don't want to go back when you're feeling great. Even if it's only a little bit. When we say "I know for a fact" etc. OCD thinks, "Yeah we will see about that."
@@aguywhohikes1271 thanks Nick. This is a helpful insight. I guess I struggle to understand how I can fully come out of it for weeks at a time, and when I do i tell myself I know how to handle it coming back and at the time truly believe that too but then when it does I always fail to uphold that mind set. Should I try and accept that maybe I’ll always feel like crap when I have a set back?
She's back! Always a pleasure to have you back on the channel Jade.
Never leave just sometimes take a while to hit record 😂
Your wonderful thank you! I’m so glad you feel so much bette after struggling for decades. Really appreciate these videos and your prospective on OCD
Thank you for the support Jen! It's always appreciated.
Hi Jen, nice to see you here again and thanks for the super kind words 💛
Hi Jade. some many great bits of wisdom in here. I really liked when you said that saying everything will be okay, etc, just gives ocd more power. A lot of people don't realize that.
jade
We appreciate the feedback!
Such a kind comment, thank you 💛
Awesome video. Thank you 🙏
You’re so welcome 😊
Excellent refresher on Unconditional Self Acceptance.
I’m so pleased you found the video a useful reminder 🙌
Hey Jade, thanks for taking the time to respond with this video. I struggle to get my head around making peace with a situation, when it's so easy just to pull the plug. It's not a case of should i be with her? My mind is always thinking I want to leave, imagining myself with other people, I want to leave i want to leave!
I suggest making peace with living in this uncertainty forever and being ok with that - only then will ocd loosen its grip as it will feel that you’re no longer afraid in reality
Can you guys do a video on religious OCD? I have a constant fear on accepting going to hell
Absolutely Troy! We also have a webinar coming up in the next few weeks covering this topic.
@@aguywhohikes1271 I’ll be there. Looking forward to the video! Trying to let go of it’s grip
Sorry, this one is going to be a long-post, probably confusing and insane, but it is what it is, that's my brain.
I'm not even sure it's OCD, but it definitely involves a lot of rumination, anxiety, intrusive and conflictive thoughts and makes me feel stuck, guilty and ashamed.
Paranoid OCD. How about accepting fear of not only being constantly judged by strangers but also being potentially physically attacked/assaulted by random people who don't like you (on the street/in pub etc.)? I literally feel in danger every second I stay out of my flat and constantly trying to protect myself/prevent judgement or attack. As of prevention methods - I try to act masculine, angry and stare at people to intimidate them, or I completely withdraw and become silent and terrified, avoiding looking at people. Then, I start judging myself for being weak and not looking at people or not trying to "face the fear", so I start my aggressive starring again and the cycle repeats.
Being not enough angry/authentic OCD. I believe that I am suppressing my anger and afraid to be angry/show anger in public or to little known people, or to well known but potentially dangerous people. Also I believe that anger is destructive emotion when not expressed, and when suppressed, can cause anxiety and depression. There's a quote about anger: "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured" that also forged my belief that I should express anger no matter what whenever I feel irritated. And I was feeling mad and irritated a lot at people, their behavior, their responses, their acts etc. Also, before in my life I was trying to please everyone and not trigger negative response towards myself, often times, as I believe, suppressing my anger. Later I started to feel fake for not showing my anger and for pleasing people/trying to be nice, so I started to try to be more angry, looking for any occasion to try to stand out for my boundaries aggressively, or at least as aggressively as I could, looking for something I don't like when someone does something to me and trying to tell them all I think assertively (better aggressively) in the face. Currently, whenever I feel angry, I think I should let it out at those, who I become angry at, or at generally any stranger on the street if I cannot reach the "provoker" or I am just angry at myself. Again, after a while of trying to act angrily I start feeling terrified that something bad will actually happen if I continue this behavior, like someone will attack me for that, so I stop, then I think of myself as of a weak person , coward, who is terrified to express anger, that keeping anger inside will harm me, that I won't be truly myself and authentic, that people will consider me weak and won't like me, and then the cycle restarts. Again, when I hear that anger can lead to trouble or prison, I start to think about myself as if I'm adopting a fake morality, cowardliness, because I'd rather be authentic but in prison than will be fake but free. However, I'm terrified about getting into prison as well for my behavior.
Narcissistic OCD. Whenever I feel better and stronger or when I want to feel better and stronger, I start to feel like I want keep this feeling up, and to do this, I am trying to dominate over people, again, mainly by intimidating strangers with aggressive starring (especially masculine dangerous males, since they trigger me the most by being confident). Or by trying to be masculine and superior. It feels like I can show them how cool and fearless I am, how am I above them. So I believe this way I am trying to rise my self-esteem and get some attention and validation. I have urges to behave this way, and if I'm not, I get anxious and angry because I'm not behaving as I want to. The thing that stops me, again, fear of being punished for my behavior, fear of rejection. But again, due to the fear to not being authentic and not being able to express myself in any way I want and freely, I engage into another cycle and everything repeats.
And something that generalises all the said above:
Loneliness OCD. I crave for social connection, friends, relationships, some life excitement. But I feel so disconnected from people, feel alien, afraid, terribly lonely, unwanted, unneeded, without clear values and life purpose. And that's why I believe all my obsessions are people-oriented and authenticity-oriented - I want to get connected with people, be sociable, feel good and comfortable with others and be myself.
Being in your flat keeps you prisoner from life, never settle for loss of freedom. Take the risk!
@@OCDRecovery thanks, I've completed my post with lots of details :)
I recommend exposure therapy as guided by a therapist or coach to get you out more and facing fears, while also reading the myth of self esteem by Albert Ellis and working on reducing your high emotions through rational thinking
@@jadet1337 Yeah, I’m reading Myth of Self-Esteem, but still getting lots of questions about self acceptance, let’s say, I don’t understand where is myself, where is not, or if I accept my “bad” behavior, it means I can keep on doing it, and if it means I cannot do it, so how then I accept myself. Also it possesses a lot of philosophy that can be interpreted in different ways and my OCD twists it into the way that serves more bad than good to me.
What would I do regarding Pocd and false memory/real event as a mom?
Hi jade, I’m hoping you can give me some guidance and advice on something I don’t seem to be able to get my head around. I have suffered for 6 plus years with sensorimotor and although it’s a different subtype of ocd to yours I know it’s all the same concept. I have overcome my sensorimotor obsessions every time (sometimes after months of torment and horrendous anxiety) which obviously means I accept it and everything that goes with it unconditionally for a time at least, but then I always slip back into it and get horrendously stuck again. I think I’ve developed a fear now of not being able to handle it when it comes back (even though I know how!) sounds so silly but everyone talks of learning rationality along the way which eventually leads to recovery but I just don’t seem to ever get any further along with each setback even though I have the strongest proof of all that I can because I’ve come out of it every time!!! I act and think the same every time when I’ve already proven I can come out if it. Do you know what the mistake is I’m making here? I don’t think I’m actually that bothered about my hyper awareness/sensorimotor obsession as I am knowing I can’t handle a set back when it happens. Hope this makes sense! X
Hey Claire - as this was my primary fear I have a good idea about what's going on - It's purely fear of fear. Fear of OCD being present in your life. There's more than likely more belief work to be done about not needing recovery at all, at least fully. You're internal thermometer and internal hawk knows you don't want to go back when you're feeling great. Even if it's only a little bit. When we say "I know for a fact" etc. OCD thinks, "Yeah we will see about that."
@@aguywhohikes1271 thanks Nick. This is a helpful insight. I guess I struggle to understand how I can fully come out of it for weeks at a time, and when I do i tell myself I know how to handle it coming back and at the time truly believe that too but then when it does I always fail to uphold that mind set. Should I try and accept that maybe I’ll always feel like crap when I have a set back?
@@claireryan6786 yes :) that’s a great place to start!
Love Nicks comment - classic fear of fear it seems!