Nothing will ever be funnier to me than playing a goblin or kobold and telling your party that you're a whole 10 years old and have a wife and kids while the elf is having a stroke at just becoming an adult at just over 100 years
@Thoriumplatypus5263 That gave me the best worst idea for a character- if I ever get the chance to play in a party with an older elf I'm absolutely going to have my goblin character's distant ancestor be the cause of the elf's biggest embarrassment in life and then just casually drop that it became a story passed down through generations in my tribe. If that's how my character dies, it'll have been absolutely worth it
Dnd nerd trivia: The average kobold in most dnd settings mature rapidly but can live to be 100 years old. However, most kobolds never survive long enough to see their first decade.
The best part is this isn’t even an intelligence thing. Your kobold could be the smartest person in the party by a huge margin; a super genius who is amongst the most intelligent people in the world, and they’ll still act this way. They’re just built like that.
@@liambellew1299 fun fact! The Kolbold is actually my dnd character, Crowbar! While she’s not smart she does have a copper dragon’s powers within her. Powers she uses to adopt strange monsters as pets
I feel called out because one of the main antagonists in the campaign arc me and my friends are doing is a Kobold who works as a Navy Commodore, and yet he still sometimes acts like a creature
@@jubilanttitan4999 Lmao same. Playing a kobold fighter/warlock who was the sole survivor of his old squad. Truly tragic character backstory stuff. Anyway one of the first things he did with his powers is recreate the spongebob boulder bit when the party got lost in the woods. Bro is straight up a cartoon until he actually gets hit lol
D&D Where a barkeep has to keep a cheat sheet for all their clients Human, id Elf, a fine wine Dwarf, free barrel of the hardest drink Gnome, id Kobolds or Goblin, get that mf'er the strongest shit even a Dwarf cant stomach (they here for a short time, not a long time... did i say anything about a good time.)
As a person who loves dwarves I accept giving the stronger drink to the kobs or gobs on the premise that they aren't going to live long enough for their liver health to matter.
Dragonborn need a separate cheat sheet because different colors have different tastes, but thankfully, those tastes tend to coincide with their scale colors For example, reds prefer something with peppers and cinnamon while whites prefer something sweet and chilled. Blacks like it bitter enough to knock a dwarf on their ass, but the blues enjoy something with a tingle. The metallics tend to have similar tastes to their chromatic counterparts (elementally speaking) but less extreme. For example, drop the peppers when serving a gold. Gems…fuck man, I have no idea
I am currently playing a 40 year old Goblin. Nearing the end of my days, surrounded by a Half Ork who keeps trying to copy me (we're both artificers) and a Halfling who steal everything not nailed down. This is not where he thought he'd be in the last days of his life
Dragonborns: - tall and strong - highly civilized - often being talented in something - known being independent and getting out of troubles by themselves with ease - appearance letting them being very attractive or intimidating - blood of the dragons can awake in some of them wich leads to becoming a powerfull sorcerer with the scales strong as armor >lives as long as humans Kobolds: - scaled goblins - have OR self preservation instinct OR abilities to become artificer - lives in caves or sewers - you can accidentaly push one kobold that crawled on the surface and he will remember that even if you apologize - can't do shit if one will be being left alone - blood of the dragons can awake in some of them wich leads to the birth of the flying scaled goblin (they can be bullied into oblivion or even killed by the other kobolds being envious) > become old after living at least for a century Imagine your face when you being outlived by a rat
I played a wizard who was a dwarf. At the start of the campaign, he had an 18 Intelligence, but after the second session, his score dropped to 8 because a damn icicle impaled his frontal lobe.
@ @ Yeah, at one point they had to literally guide my character through a door because I thought it would be funny to keep banging his face into the wall next to the open door.
That's kind of bullshit, unless your character is built to have other options it basically invalidates your entire build. Like imagine being a fighter and being dropped from 18 to 8 strength. I hope he offered a way to fix it quickly or I would have just gotten the character to unalive themself.
I always find fantasy races funny because some age like humans, while others... they don't reach adulthood until age 100 - 1,000. So you got this one guy, who looks like a 5 year old, but has lived 5 centuries.
Playing an orc thats 29 and on the edge of elderly just wanting to enjoy his warlock contract and use his genie patron to keep smuggling tea, coffee, and sugar around Meanwhile the 102 year old elf is still going to every party they can anytime we enter a town
Nothing beats Thri-kreen if you want to screw around with this. Adulthood by 5, considered old by 20, canonically can’t live past 35. Love those mantis bastards
Elves, dwarves, halflings, aasimar, tieflings, gnomes and dragonborn (or halfdragons if your DM allows) typically are longer lived than humans, with gobliods, Aarakocra and Orcs living shorter ones. Kobolds apparently can live up to 120 years of age, but have a tendancy not to. They mature at an age of six and goblins at 8 years of age, apparently. Aarakocra generally don't live longer than three decades, but mature at three years of age. Hope that gives you some context.
Dude if human growth spurts are the way they are imagine being a aarakocra. Three years of just speed running to adulthood. Is there like a lore reason they're so shortlived.
Not Pictured: Their Aarakocra party member, who died of old Age at 30
*cries in eighty year old Dragonborn character I made since I thought they were immortal*
@@FacelessCrowd OMG, crinkly dragonborn
@@FacelessCrowd i used to be an adventurer like you... *and then i got arthritis*
Mine died at 25 years old, RIP krooka
Got a half-orc in a party where everybody will outlive him. He's 19 and looks like a rough 40 (but that's partially his 4 in charisma talking)
Nothing will ever be funnier to me than playing a goblin or kobold and telling your party that you're a whole 10 years old and have a wife and kids while the elf is having a stroke at just becoming an adult at just over 100 years
"And here's my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather!"
@Thoriumplatypus5263 That gave me the best worst idea for a character- if I ever get the chance to play in a party with an older elf I'm absolutely going to have my goblin character's distant ancestor be the cause of the elf's biggest embarrassment in life and then just casually drop that it became a story passed down through generations in my tribe. If that's how my character dies, it'll have been absolutely worth it
ah yes kobolds
milk
man, i love kobolds
The lifespan ranges from 12 weeks to 120 years
@@realdragonIsn’t that also true for the lifespan of humanity
@ Kinda but for kobolds vast majority of deaths are not natural. Unless you call cave claps natural
This is the second DND video I’ve seen in a week that involved ATHF audio and had Meatwad voicing a Kobold. His voice fits them so well.
Dnd nerd trivia:
The average kobold in most dnd settings mature rapidly but can live to be 100 years old.
However, most kobolds never survive long enough to see their first decade.
Kobolts just bein' funny little guys at age 50
Had an Aarakocra in my game who would blankly stare at things he didn't understand, then say "I'm nine," and shrug.
As hilarious as this is, I feel they would instead be super curious about everything (which is a bad combo when you don't understand said things..)
The best part is this isn’t even an intelligence thing. Your kobold could be the smartest person in the party by a huge margin; a super genius who is amongst the most intelligent people in the world, and they’ll still act this way. They’re just built like that.
@@liambellew1299 fun fact! The Kolbold is actually my dnd character, Crowbar! While she’s not smart she does have a copper dragon’s powers within her. Powers she uses to adopt strange monsters as pets
I feel called out because one of the main antagonists in the campaign arc me and my friends are doing is a Kobold who works as a Navy Commodore, and yet he still sometimes acts like a creature
@@jubilanttitan4999 Lmao same. Playing a kobold fighter/warlock who was the sole survivor of his old squad. Truly tragic character backstory stuff.
Anyway one of the first things he did with his powers is recreate the spongebob boulder bit when the party got lost in the woods. Bro is straight up a cartoon until he actually gets hit lol
My party still doesn't know my Grung is a 2-and-a-half-year-old war veteran yet
My kobolds hate dumb kobolds.
They will, however, be the first to volunteer to become a living cannonball when we have to siege the castle.
@@icelandia4 **Kobold Kanon**
D&D
Where a barkeep has to keep a cheat sheet for all their clients
Human, id
Elf, a fine wine
Dwarf, free barrel of the hardest drink
Gnome, id
Kobolds or Goblin, get that mf'er the strongest shit even a Dwarf cant stomach (they here for a short time, not a long time... did i say anything about a good time.)
As a person who loves dwarves I accept giving the stronger drink to the kobs or gobs on the premise that they aren't going to live long enough for their liver health to matter.
Dragonborn need a separate cheat sheet because different colors have different tastes, but thankfully, those tastes tend to coincide with their scale colors
For example, reds prefer something with peppers and cinnamon while whites prefer something sweet and chilled.
Blacks like it bitter enough to knock a dwarf on their ass, but the blues enjoy something with a tingle.
The metallics tend to have similar tastes to their chromatic counterparts (elementally speaking) but less extreme. For example, drop the peppers when serving a gold.
Gems…fuck man, I have no idea
@Firestar4041
kobold: "the strongest you have, sir!"
barkeep:" how old are you, kobold?"
kobold"102 years old, sir!"
@@DanteTorn
the funny thing is in the lore dwarves prefer kobolds as their neighbors.
@@dragonriderabens9761 gem dragons prefer caffeine
I am currently playing a 40 year old Goblin. Nearing the end of my days, surrounded by a Half Ork who keeps trying to copy me (we're both artificers) and a Halfling who steal everything not nailed down. This is not where he thought he'd be in the last days of his life
is he voiced by Steve Carell
This is DnD, friend, not Warhammer. It's spelled "Orc".
@@Kuronii01 muscle memory
@@nameistaken*the distant sounds of **_WAAAAAAAGH_** and lasgun fire grows ever louder*
I played a goblin who was very well-versed at brewing all sorts of alcoholic drinks! The confusion of my party when I told them I was 14 years old!
Ain't no parking on the dance floor! I don't see no parking place nearby.
Dragonborns:
- tall and strong
- highly civilized
- often being talented in something
- known being independent and getting out of troubles by themselves with ease
- appearance letting them being very attractive or intimidating
- blood of the dragons can awake in some of them wich leads to becoming a powerfull sorcerer with the scales strong as armor
>lives as long as humans
Kobolds:
- scaled goblins
- have OR self preservation instinct OR abilities to become artificer
- lives in caves or sewers
- you can accidentaly push one kobold that crawled on the surface and he will remember that even if you apologize
- can't do shit if one will be being left alone
- blood of the dragons can awake in some of them wich leads to the birth of the flying scaled goblin (they can be bullied into oblivion or even killed by the other kobolds being envious)
> become old after living at least for a century
Imagine your face when you being outlived by a rat
I played a wizard who was a dwarf. At the start of the campaign, he had an 18 Intelligence, but after the second session, his score dropped to 8 because a damn icicle impaled his frontal lobe.
that sounds painful to experience as a player. did you have one of *those* DMs?
@@CrystalOatz It wasn't to bad, the dm I had wasn't one of that kind. Still doing dnd with him for 9 years strong.
@ @ Yeah, at one point they had to literally guide my character through a door because I thought it would be funny to keep banging his face into the wall next to the open door.
That's kind of bullshit, unless your character is built to have other options it basically invalidates your entire build. Like imagine being a fighter and being dropped from 18 to 8 strength. I hope he offered a way to fix it quickly or I would have just gotten the character to unalive themself.
i want a big party with ben 10-
I can't stop watching it over and over
I love his silly little expressions
I always find fantasy races funny because some age like humans, while others... they don't reach adulthood until age 100 - 1,000. So you got this one guy, who looks like a 5 year old, but has lived 5 centuries.
@mimicalCreature
the funny thing is kobolds are fully grown adults at 6 years old and can live up 120+ with proper care.
Meanwhile elves: never shut up how they 369 years old
"back in my day all we had were sticks and stones and I took down an owlbear with just that!"
Playing an orc thats 29 and on the edge of elderly just wanting to enjoy his warlock contract and use his genie patron to keep smuggling tea, coffee, and sugar around
Meanwhile the 102 year old elf is still going to every party they can anytime we enter a town
I am surprised that kobold was not 38 weeks old
Nothing beats Thri-kreen if you want to screw around with this. Adulthood by 5, considered old by 20, canonically can’t live past 35. Love those mantis bastards
KOBOLD 💙
Count your days
I've heard this audio a couple times before. Where is it from?
Also great video!
@@SomeoneMaybe05 aqua teen hunger force, don’t know the episode tho
Aqua Teen Hunger Force, S7 E1: Rabbot Redux
thumbnail is peak silly
what is it from i need audio clip 🥺
@@sirpootsman aqua teen hunger force S7 E1
what races have long lives?
i’m still kinda new to DnD, but also not a rookie
Elves, dwarves, halflings, aasimar, tieflings, gnomes and dragonborn (or halfdragons if your DM allows) typically are longer lived than humans, with gobliods, Aarakocra and Orcs living shorter ones. Kobolds apparently can live up to 120 years of age, but have a tendancy not to. They mature at an age of six and goblins at 8 years of age, apparently. Aarakocra generally don't live longer than three decades, but mature at three years of age. Hope that gives you some context.
Dude if human growth spurts are the way they are imagine being a aarakocra. Three years of just speed running to adulthood. Is there like a lore reason they're so shortlived.
@AberrantChibi
edit: I read that wrong.
The drawing isn't finished
@@kroaat it’s an animatic meaning it’s just a bunch of crude drawings made in a short period
@@FacelessCrowd Whart
wheres the audio from
@@bestbudeverful Aqua teen hunger force
S7 E1 Rabbot Redux