I’m autistic and I go to a special school where nearly everyone is autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. I, as well as pretty much all of my classmates know that it is wrong to commit fraud.
I'm autistic too and fair enough (love your doom patrol username btw) although I do think there's a difference between being able to recognise something as shady/sneaky and illegal. This story sounds like the former is the case imo
I'm autistic. Although I understand most things a neurotypical person with, I definitely have my moments where my judgement is way off because I just don't realise or can't understand that something is wrong. Saying that, I don't really think he shouldn't face consequences for his actions
Just because u r autistic doesn't mean another autistic person might not know and I think the mother told there kid this and he thought it was fine as his mother told him I think that's y he is reacting this way as a person. As when a child does something wrong and is told they r going to jail even though it was a mistake that they didn't know it was wrong he is reacting the same way. But I am not professional in this field either my brother maybe better as he has a degree in this
Wow! That husband in the second story sounds insane! You cheated on your wife and then essentially dropped a random kid at her house? No. Husband's a REAL rotten apple! Ex wife is the good apple!
What on earth was this guy thinking?? I would have MAYBE considered it if he asked, but what if she hadn't been home?? He just drops off the kid with no notice? I wouldn't do that as a babysitter
Yeah the kids 5 and doesn't know this person and if they don't have a civil relationship then what possibly made the man thinks that is reasonable, in what world??? Your estranged you're apart from each other you no longer have a relationship. The police need to know about this kind of behavior because that is neglect, plane and simple. There is a saying we use at my work all the time "Your poor planning/management is not my emergency."
For that last one, you are absolutely correct. If the brother is able to go to film school, fill out financial aid, & figure out how to use big brother's ss#, he has the ability to know it was wrong. Personally, I wonder if the mom actually did it & is allowing the younger brother to take the blame in hopes that his autism keeps him from getting in trouble.
I’m autistic and have researched a lot about autism and other neurodivergencies. Just because you’re able to go to film school, fill forms and live on your own doesn’t mean you’re able to tell right from wrong or gauge the effects of your actions on outside parties. Still, it is heavily dependent on the type of autism he has and the characteristics he exhibits, but we don’t have that information.
I think the mom was involved too and told him it was okay or something, I really don't think he knew it was illegal or something terrible to do until his brother got mad and told him he could go to jail
S4: I'm autistic myself and unfortunately I do believe the brother is full of sh*t. I know plenty of autistic teenagers (include myself in high school) who weaponize their autism. I stole my grandmother's credit card when I was 14 to buy a band's CD and video games then played dumb. Luckily, they didn't believe me and I was grounded for about 2 months. I deserved that. 😅
My ex boyfriend was like that, I'm pretty sure he had Aspergers... but he was awful to me; controlling, didn't understand physical or sexual boundaries, jealous. All of our friends gave him a free pass on his behavior, but after 2 weeks of dating he tried to force me into bed with him. I broke up with him, and he spent over a year after that making my life misery; by blackmailing me, guilt tripping my friends into trying to force me back together with him... he was an absolutely awful man, and he used his Aspergers as an excuse to explain why he thought it was fine for him to try to force me to do things with him.
@@RSET16 Respectfully, Aspergers is a dated term bc it's named after a nazi, so words like autism, the spectrum, neurodivergent are terms used to describe it
@@samdancer3808 It depends on the DSM (diagnostic manual) you are referring to. In earlier ones , yes. In the newest one it's all summarized under the term autism
Story 2: I absoLUTELY would have called the police. I hope there was an investigation after that incident. I am honestly worried about what this dad does with his son on a normal time schedule.
Quite possibly you can set up child care in advance with a babysitter basically saying hey don't know how many days but I'm gonna need an emergency babysitter. Personally I just think he didn't want to pay for a babysitter@RosesDeadFlowers
@RosesDeadFlowers I think you're onto something. OP said she isolated bcz she was at high risk and the ex knew this. He may have assumed she would be the safest person in terms of C O VID, and least expensive (free) to watch the child, regardless of complications. Being the thoughtless and selfish person he clearly is, he wasn't concerned about exposing OP, but was concerned about the parents across the country being exposed. (That was one of his excuses anyway.) Even if he did look into setting up childcare ahead of time, he would have known how incredibly expensive that would be for the situation, i.e on-call childcare for unknown hours. Does he and Kate have no local friends? Even though Kate was the mistress, she was also a mom. The last person she would want watching her son would be OP. This is all conjecture on my part, but something to think about.
In no world should 85% on a test be considered a C. That kind of grading system is literally setting kids up to fail when it comes to college application time. I never really understood the letter grading system until now, because in Canada your grades are presented as the percentage, and anything above 50 is a passing grade, so now hearing how that works in some places is literally archaic.
lets just take a moment to say how respectful rebecca is when shes reading the stories and sharing her opinion! keep doing this have a wonderful day Mrs. rodgers!!!!!
@@Keynotes08 that's a very different situation. Camp councilors know they're going to be taking care of a child. The kids are sent with information about food sensitivities or allergies. Camps are ready and equip to handle children. Camp councilors are not ex-wives to the child's father. The father did not cheat on the camp councilors and expect them to take care of the child that was a product of that affair with out telling them first. Also you pay money to a camp for them to watch your child. This woman was receiving no financial compensation
(2 bad apple) How is any of what happens in the ex's life her fault?? This is a product of an affair and might bring up bad memories. Plus how do you know the ex won't drop him off next time he needs convenient child care? This is creating a pattern, plus he probably wasn't even going to pay her.
Related to the first story: My school has WEIRD grading, and it varies from class to class (ex. In my physics class you can get 100% on every assignment, but a B on a test and your grade goes down to a B, but in my English class you can skip every test and still have like a B or C), so I understand the frustration. I can also say, my parents can see my final score on assignments and tests, but they cannot see the rubric or how many points each question is worth. Also in a few of my classes the teachers don’t provide many (or any) study resources and in those classes they mostly use pre-made things online, so they aren’t really catered to our class and it’s hard to study for said class. The mother might have overreacted, but I entirely understand where she’s coming from, so not necessarily the good or bad apple.
Absolutely this, I got weird vibes from the teacher. 3 wrong questions on what I assume is an EASY test (not essays, probably one point questions) from 25 landing the kid a C is weird, and if she’s getting A’s everywhere else and the teacher says the student is doing “good”? It’s weird if you ask me, it sounds like this teacher has FAR different grading and maybe is more strict compared to others. She also has prejudice clearly, and the last bit about how the child is struggling in that class NOW, is making me feel like the teacher is resorting to low key bullying the child. Hm.
@@RowanWolf22agree! What really rubs me the wrong way is the very Last part. A teacher should be able to have a conflict with a parent without letting it out one the kid afterwards...
I have Asperger Syndrome. I can tell you you’re right about what you’re saying in the last story. There are some autistic people who can be held accountable for certain crimes and there are some who cannot. I’m only mildly on the spectrum, but I can still distinguish between right and wrong and I know not to do certain things, so if it were me in that situation, I would be on trial. Now, I will say it is very possible that he didn’t understand the fact that you had to have the co-signer with you to co-sign a loan, or you had to at least have written permission to do so. I know from my experience, even though I know right from wrong, I don’t always know what I do is wrong. Especially since Tim probably had other mouths to confirm what he was doing. It comes from the fact that a lot of us have difficulty understanding social cues, so we don’t always catch on. So clearly there was a misunderstanding and it was validated by people he was with. Nevertheless, he should still be held accountable. If he’s able to express interest in film school and be able to file paperwork and fill out an application and such without assistance, there is no reason why he would be deemed unfit to stand trial. I feel like it’s just something he’s going to have to learn the hard way, and while it really sucks it’s another step toward learning and understanding certain social cues and how things work when trying to get federal aid to go to schools. I had to learn some things the hard way myself and it’s not fun. Nevertheless, I think he should be held accountable and I hope he learns from this experience. And the people in his life too, so that they can be more careful what they validate in the future. It amazes me that it went as far as it did without anybody saying anything to him. So there was clearly a misunderstanding going on. That’s a rocky situation for OP, their brother, and their family, and I hope it can get situated.
Another autistic girl here while certain wording you used isn’t wording I’d use I agree, I’m autistic and I think they could’ve been nicer but what I tend to tell people is “if the person is not able to make reasonable decisions or is unable to learn right from wrong they likely have higher support needs and aren’t ready to navigate it all on their own” I for example despite being smart and doing well am not able to navigate academics on my own, my uncle Alton has downs and autism and his mom (my great grandma) handles it so well she has him as independent as possible, disciplines him when he’s in the wrong, and makes sure he has friends who have similar support needs who he understands and hangs out with
Another autistic lady here; I would go so far as to say that Autistic people tend to have a very clear understanding of right and wrong thanks to our tendency for black and white thinking. While sometimes there are situations where it’s unclear due to subtext what is right or wrong, the majority of autistic people have very strong morals. There are some people with higher support needs who need help to navigate academics and/or life, but assuming the brother was able to sort and fill out all the paperwork for film school and intends to live independently then I cannot see a reason that he shouldn’t be held accountable since he is clearly fit to make these kind of decisions in his own life. I’m wondering if there is an implication that he couldn’t get a loan because of his autism? And also how the mother knew what had happened?
@@Archeosaurusmy parents has a conservatorship for my brother. He can’t sign a contract or be held by a contract without my parents’ consent. His mom needs to do the same if it comes out that he can’t be held responsible for this due to mental capacity.
I’m also autistic and know other people on the spectrum and when it comes to right or wrong I experience that it is pretty black and white when it comes to stuff like the law. “Why would I do it if it is illegal?” When it comes to right and wrong in social situations it’s more like, for example, when someone does a facial expression to indicate that they didn’t want you to do something but you do it anyway because they didn’t say anything when they think it is obvious. Or like misunderstanding when someone is being sarcastic
I just love hearing the phrase “Happy apple picking day!” every Tuesday. First story, the mom was wrong for yelling at the teacher for something she had no control over, and the teacher is definitely wrong for the comment about her being too young to understand. Bad batch. Story two, OMG WHO JUST LEAVES THEIR CHILD LIKE THAT?! Also, I have no sympathy for cheaters, get that gross behavior out of here. Good on op for calling the cops because that was definitely child abandonment and could’ve potentially put the child in harms way. Leaving a kid with a stranger like that is not a good idea, the ex could’ve just found a babysitter online instead of dumbing his toddler onto his ex-wife that he cheated on to have said toddler. Good apple. Third story, as someone from a family that is not overly religious, if I go to someone else’s house and they have traditions or routines that are different from mine I just go along with them. It’s part of being a good guest. You clean up after yourself, you’re polite, and you accept any parts of their life that may be different from yours. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or other people you go ahead and do whatever you want, especially in the privacy of your own home. Good apple. Last story, I can’t believe the brother would do that! Also, the mom’s behavior (looking uncomfortable when told about it, crying when op says he’s pressing charges) makes it seem like she 100% knew what her younger son was doing and she didn’t reprimand him at all. If he didn’t know better, she certainly should’ve. She should’ve told him that it was a bad idea, or, if he came to her after he’d already done it, explained to him why it was wrong and made him come clean to his brother and help him through the process of fixing it. Good apple. If you read this far, thanks for reading my rant about other people’s life choices lol. Have a great day. Tl;dr: I got one bad batch and three good apples.
As for the first bad apple, I will say my son needed special needs classes and was failing. He's autistic and non verbal and they refused to put him in special needs classes until the gave him their own IEP. After failing the first entire semester of kindergarten. He was finally put in Homebound but God it took so much fighting and outside influence like youth villages and dcs for that to even happen. So some schools and some cases dont care and it's not the students fauly.
My son is non verbal autistic as well. Reading your comment made me realize how lucky we are that he was immediately placed in the right class. It took time of course, the school district is slow. He stayed at home with me, while we waited for his evaluation etc. So it took multiple-months, but he is doing great in his classes. He is in first grade now, still non verbal and the teaches at his class love him and he loves his class.
I totally feel for your situation, but it is policy that kids cannot be moved to classes until they are evaluated and given an IEP. This is not the same at all for a kid who is in middle school and has been thriving her entire school career, very different from a child who is struggling in school and being evaluated for autism for special education in kindergarden
@@Rebecca.Rogersthis is true, but I also didn’t realize I was autistic BECAUSE of how well I academically performed even though I was falling behind in life. It wasn’t until I was so suicidal that my school work slipped. I’m still trying to get back on the academic wagon in college after being a burnt out gifted kid. It starts with one class sometimes, and a kids abnormally poor performance deserves review because they could be suffering elsewhere more than in English class.
@@KM-ld9ln @Rebecca.Rodgers yeah I want to second this. I was also a “gifted kid” and straight A student who didn’t realise I was autistic until after I burned out and my schoolwork was one of the last things to go (I think because I understood HOW to work hard, much more than say socialising with my peers). I made it all the way to university before I finally figured out I was autistic. I personally know at least three other women around my age with the exact same experience. Girls are far more likely to be missed, especially if they are good at school and not disruptive. I don’t want to make assumptions since we don’t know, but this scenario does look familiar to me.
Story 3 - Not the family getting mad at their child for saying CHRISTIAN prayers before a meal on the very CHRISTIAN holiday of CHRISTMAS. They also didn’t FORCE them to pray
I guess but ngl if someone says oh I don’t really do Christmas cuz it’s not my religion there will always be an army of people Saying “don’t be a Grinch Christmas is more like a national holiday than anything else! But then if Christian traditions are involved or not really wanted there is another army Saying “ITS A CHRISTIAN HOLIDAYY!!!!!”
I'm not religious and I have my reasons, but I've been exposed to different religions and when in someone else's home I respect their choices. Doesn't matter what religion it is.
I am so relieved that this was posted! I always look forward to Tuesday & Thursday and I have been watching your channel for years now and I’m glad you entertain us!
In story #1. I believe that if the teacher had spent a few minutes to explain the rubric and where the student went wrong, the situation could have been diffused and the mom would have the information to help her student do better. I don't think either the mom or the teacher are bad apples just defensive crabapples. The mom was trying to defend her daughter and went in hot and the teacher got defensive and lashed back at mom. I'm not sure the study harder comment was good or bad. That would depend on the tone in which it was said. And the uncomfortable air the student feels in class now is definitely unprofessional. I have seen this from both sides of the table. My mom was a teacher of 40 years. I grew up with the horror stories of parents. She always said that it was her job to listen to their crap and explain why and where little angel Jonny was not doing as well as they thought he should. I vowed not to be that parent. But having a child with phycological accomodations myself, I had to advocate for him multiple times with teachers that wouldn't follow his plan. I probably was viewed as "that parent."
Apple 4: I know nothing about how loans etc. work in the US, but I‘m shocked, that all it takes to co-sign is a social security number. No signature, no ID, no in person meeting? Either way, the brother and maybe even the parents should be held accountable.
My son was autistic and he knew right from wrong in most cases, but still sometimes he would do things where I was like what the heck dude?! Idk, it kinda goes case by case- especially in my line of work. Anyway, love these stories from you!❤
Hi, Mrs. Rogers! I love how respectful you are when sharing your opinions on the stories. You’re one of my favorite content creators because you are so kind and honest. I’m a teenager and you’re such an inspiration to me, and I hope to be as good of a person as you one day.
To the women who converted to Catholicism, I just want to send you a warm and joyful Welcome Home! And I am so very proud of you for at least trying to share Christ's Love with your family, even if they were not receptive. That was so very brave of you and all of Saints and Angels celebrated your bravery that day! What a beautiful gift you offered to our Lord for His Birthday! ❤ God Bless you and please sweet sister, don't stop trying to share your faith with your Jewish family! Miracles do happen! Pray for their conversation offten!
#2: I’m wondering was the ex the last resort? There are plenty of people who could the kid over the ex. If I had to leave my kid with somebody the list would go; grandparents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins, babysitter (assuming you have a regular one), friends, neighbours, parents of kid’s friends, only then would I consider the ex I cheated on. I would also explain to the ex ‘you’re my last hope’. It sounds like didn’t bother contacting anybody else and just dropped the kid off.
Re 3- I’m a non-theist Quaker, and the number of times I’ve taken part in Catholic acts of worship because of my family is something I can’t even count. And you know what, it doesn’t matter. I respect the place I’m in regardless of whether or not it’s part of my belief system or not
Story 1: I was thinking a straight 22/25 didn’t think about weights in there. Story 4:if the brother isn’t competent then some level of blame might potentially fall on the mother for enabling it because if he isn’t competent to stand trial it would require the mom to fill out an app and she should know better
Story 3 resonates with me. My husband comes from a very religious background but due to his personal beliefs he is now agnostic/borderline atheist. His parents say grace everytime they eat. My son and I partake of this, my husband bows his head and holds hands but will not say the actual grace because he considers it disrespectful to pray to a God he doesn’t believe in. This works for us.
As someone who had my daughter at 19 I got told that all the time people constantly said I was just too stupid and had no clue because I was so young the difference in how I am treated with my son that I had in my late 20’s compared to how I got treated with my daughter was staggering
18:09 Sooo many Christians say, “You’re going to hell!” For doing this exact thing. I’ve been screamed at, ridiculed, and damned to hell for respecting the religions of others JUST like this. I just wish some Christian’s would realize that God is not a fear tactic. I believe using God as a fear tactic/telling people they are going to hell for X, Y, Z is taking the Lords name in vain. You cannot convince me that my all loving God would send people to Hell for never hearing about their existence!!!! A little history would also show them the true origins of this Sun God, and the religion…
9:25 i sort of disagree, sometimes the teacher literally will not teach the material in a good, useful, applicable way. so it’s not always the student. saying this as a current high school student
I can agree with you there, I have a teacher that just uses premade online resources and instead of actually teaching us she just gets us to write down what's on the bored which doesn't help you learn, it just shows that you can read and write
I am a special ed teacher, and my brother has autism, and if he pulled that shit he’d be in jail. If you’re able to do something like that, with no help from the mom, it was definitely on purpose
I'm autistic, and there are definitely things that I simply don't understand. but even though we may not understand things like right from wrong, it's important to teach us what is right and wrong. it's not okay to just sweep it under the rug and say "oh she/he doesn't know any better you can't tell them no." because that doesn't help the individual. things that are common sense to neurotypicals' aren't to us and we have to learn. I'm not excusing the kids' actions, but I am saying that people need to teach him if he truly didn't understand that that was wrong.
For #4 I have autism, and honestly often were pushed aside or given excuses to say we don’t know any better, ever. Like you said, it’s a spectrum, it’s just different types of struggles person to person, but if he was able to apply for a loan on his own and apply a co-signer by himself, it really seems like he knew exactly what he was doing, but again I’m not sure where he’s at on the spectrum. I know so many other members of my community though, that do need assistance and still know right from wrong.
The last Apple. The older brother absolutley had to call the police and report it. He can not get that off his credit rating if he doesnt and it could keep him from qualifing for a home loan in the future.
Autistic person here. Autism isn't a sliding scale, no one is mildly Autistic. Some people can accommodate themselves, some are completely dependent on others and some are a variation of the two. It's something that irks a lot of us.
I’m sorry but watching a child that you have NO relationship with for your cheating is ex husband? Absolutely not. Ex husband is insane for that. I’m sure the kid is just a scared with some strange woman (to them) as they would be getting taken back to their father by cops.
#4. I think that it is important to be serious with the autistic brother however if you know that he can get into an irrational meltdown that makes him unable to function for weeks, you should choose your words very wisely!
I am enjoying this episode in Dublin on vacation. You made my night after being delayed in an airport for 2 days. I watched you before going to bed you help me relax.
On the second one I really don’t agree that you should even entertain the idea of taking care of that child because what if the child being a child gets hurt or any other thing she is liable for that child. She did the right thing call the cop and have take the kid so she avoids anything that might happen especially if they have a bad relationship.
@@marvelismylife946 true also it denotes how truly sad these people are if they didn’t have anyone else other then the ex wife, victim of their affair, to leave this child. Karma at it truest
I loved all of your answers. I was ready to say the mom in the first story was a good apple, but it didn't occur to me that different questions do have different values when scoring tests. And the third story resonated with me quite a bit. My mom's side of the family are all Baptists, and I'm not. I'm not even a Christian anymore. But when I go down for Thanksgiving, I bow my head while they bless their food and let them say their prayers, because I feel it's the respectful thing to do. No need to cause a problem where there isn't one.
Given the way the story about the kid with the C in English is written, I feel like I've identified the issue. To the mom: YTA. She returned the energy you came at her with.
The audacity to drop off the kid you had with your mistress at your ex-wifes house. Thats just nuts. This lady was nicer than me. I would've probably gotten a restraining order. This guy's a crazy person.
#1, if that child was just starting middle school, that story makes some sense to me. My dad is a 7th grade teacher and he sees so many strait A students start failing subjects because they never studied or had work to finish at home, and there’s homework given in every class in 7th grade. My dad also sees so many students who may have struggled in previous years get better grades because they are used to working on things at home and studying for tests, which is a necessity ‘skill’ to have when starting 7th grade. So I’m not too surprised the daughter started struggling in that class. I think both mom and teacher were out of line
For story 3, I’m a Christian who grew up in a Lutheran family. I go to Lutheran church and partake in saying grace before mealtime. (With my dad’s side of the family, my mom’s family doesn’t do that) But my point is, I don’t care what religion you are, you are a person, and I’ll respect your beliefs, but won’t follow. So people should respect people’s beliefs.
That second story, I would not have done the same thing as OP but her actions were completely reasonable. The audacity of the ex is outrageous. As you said Rebecca, it’s not the kids fault and I’d have looked after the kid and then had serious words with the ex. That poor child will be traumatised
I relate to the 3rd story since my dad was raised Jewish but became Christian when he married my mom. When we have dinner with that side of my family, we do the Jewish prayers sometimes, especially when we are celebrating a holiday (we do Hanukkah and Christmas together) and sometimes we just say grace as my family usually does. I think there are some hard feelings from that side of my family but at surface level we all just respect each other. I totally agree that OP is a good apple; when you go to someone else's house you should respect their religion and they should do the same for you.
The fact that the brother was able to fill out the papers himself for the loan and even try to file for a loan on his own in the first place and realize that he needed a social security number for the cosigner and all that means he is "high functioning" or "low spectrum" what used to be called Asperger's.
Story 4: Autistic adult here, so I might speak on that. The brother definitely did the wrong thing here and I believe from what was stated that he knew it was wrong. But, might be a bit easier influenced into believing things are right and normal when they are actually not. Since he did get the information from the parents that might have played a part here? In the case of filing a report and getting you credit score and record cleared I believe op did the right thing, but I also believe the brother learned his lesson, as he is in quite a bad mental state over this. If I were op I'd just settle the case so brother doesn't end up in prison. But since op is just following the justice system he is the good apple, even if saying that feels very wrong to me.
So I'm an atheist and i have many moral qualms with the majority of organized religion, including catholicism. That being said, i have many friends that come from all religions and several of them do say grace at meals. Regardless of my personal feelings toward religion and my own lack of belief in it, i will ALWAYS put my head down and pray with them because they are people i CARE ABOUT and i would never disrespect their beliefs in their own home that they welcomed me into. Whether you believe in what they're doing or not doesn't matter, what matters is having basic human decency and consideration for others. #3 did absolutely nothing wrong, good apple all the way.
#2: WTF??? This guy could get jail time for child abandonment! NTBA, good on her for reporting. And if you feel bad for the kid, it's better that he get out of that situation in which a reckless act occured. It may be possible for ex to still take care of the kid short-term while a more permanent situation, or at least a temporary foster is found (that is, assuming custody was revoked from the parents). Full disclosure: not a legal expert, so actual options may differ.
Apple number 2 wasn’t wrong. Yes he should have communicated to her about what was going on and asked his ex for a favor. What if she wasn’t at home? What if he just dropped the kid off on the door step, got into a car accident and never returned? What then? Communication is MANDATORY in ANY marriage. Using your words effectively helps in the long run and will clear up most issues.
#4) Good apple! Bro didn’t find anything in the attic. Mom is a liar. Sounds like Tim probably doesn’t have as many problems as mom gave him. Sounds like mom told Tim to have OP co-sign without asking.. which is fraud. So, yes, get that 🐂 💩 off your credit!!
As for kids on the spectrum with apple #4. Remember a teacher was nearly killed for taking a switch from an autistic student in class. I do agree that's complex thinking and can understand right from wrong. He was scared for thinking of going to jail. So, yes I have put my uncle in jail for having crack in my car and me not knowing anything about it. As he was a repeat offender and I never was one for law breaking. Just becuase they are my relative, does not mean that that excuses them from consequences.
For story 4, I have autism and it isn’t bad, I mainly just have poor social skills. My bad social skills has caused me to make poor decisions impulsively. I have the understanding of using my sibling’s social security number for a loan is illegal and wrong. But just because I’m autistic and I know that, maybe Tim doesn’t. I think Tim should just have to do some community service. Not much, maybe an hour or two. Something to let him know that what he did was wrong. I also think he shouldn’t have a criminal record if he really didn’t know that was wrong.
I agree. He can be high functioning in some ways and still not understand the seriousness of his actions here. He should get consequences but probably not as sever as someone who did fully understand their actions. Community service seems like a good compromise.
23:26 NO YOU WERE NOT THE BAD APPLE!!!! Autism is an EXPLANATION, NOT AN EXCUSE!! He ABSOLUTELY KNEW IT WAS WRONG!! I’m autistic and I know not to do that shit. My son is also autistic and I HAVE TAUGHT HIM that stealing is bad!!
I 100 percent agree that the police should have been called on Tim for his actions. Former Special Ed teacher here. If he has the cognition to think through the use of his brother's SS# as a co-signer to obtain a loan he is highly functional. He may have emotional issues related to his place on the spectrum, but that does not negate his awareness that he used his brother without permission. If he truly wanted the loan and thought his brother could help he'd have asked. The fact that his mother knew all this and did not intervene is a red flag for me. The brother needed to follow through with the law to be able to redeem his credit rating and in order to have the blot removed from his credit history. It was perhaps not the most tactful thing of him to tell Tim that he would go to jail, but then again, someone should have told him there were consequences to his actions and that what he did hurt his brother and his SIL. Tim's decline is not, however, his brother's fault. The parents were aware of the actions Tim took and should have been advisors to Tim, if he requires this, to inform and prepare him for the consequences of his actions. The court will likely take into account Tim's mental state and his autism in its judgement.
I agree the OP had no choice but to go to the police, but the way they spoke to Tim was more than “not tactful”. It triggered an acute psychiatric crisis that includes regression-which I’m sure you know can be permanent-and if you know anything about autism, this isn’t an unpredictable outcome. What Tim did was wrong, but he’s autistic and going through a MAJOR life transition, that is actually several transitions in one. I’m sure you’ve seen how that kind of stress about change and dealing with processes that require a lot of executive functioning can affect an autistic person’s judgment. It sounds too like mom knew, and didn’t give him good advice about what to do about it. The OP is going to be able to get their credit back, but Tim may never recover from the crisis the OP caused by speaking to him that way, which could have been avoided if they had chosen kinder words. That makes OP a crab apple if not a bad apple in my eyes. (For context, I’m autistic myself and my background is in psychology and mental health.)
@@letitbe56 I agree that the harshness of the encounter was uncalled for, that should have been reserved for OP's parents who obviously knew what Tim had done and did nothing to stop him or remedy the situation.
My brother is on the spectrum and also takes college classes. Despite this, I could see him doing something like this without understanding that it wasn’t ok. People who have autism can have low support needs in some areas but high support needs in others. I feel like other steps could have been taken before involving the authorities and he definitely shouldn’t have told his brother he would go to jail
in regard to story one, I was one of those kids who coasted along through school until English in my junior year of high school. I started with a D during the second semester and through hard work I was able to bring it up to a B.
Story 1 I was seriously confused until you explained the multipoint questions. Thanks! 😊 I will also say that when I was a parent I looked at my kids papers/homework books for information and rarely had to reach out for explanations. When my daughter took creative writing I got a call from the guidance counselor every single week because her writings were so dark. "HI, this is the guidance counselor. Did you see the story this week? " "Yup and I copied it to give to her therapist and psychiatrist. Are we good?" "Yup. I'm sure we'll talk next week." 😂 Story 2 the ex husband is an a**hoke. They had 9 months to prepare. They don't have any friends? Neighbors? Family? Now if he showed up and said the people who were going to help us are sick or whatever then for the sake of the child I would have sucked it up. But the way it was presented puts me on the fence. That said with my ex, I would have immediately called the police once he refused to answer his phone. Well, I might have had him paged at the hospital. OP wouldn't have a car seat to transport the kid to his family. These things can take a couple hours to a couple days and it's now my responsibility without any warning? OP is definitely NTA Story 3 you said it perfectly. Story 4 as someone who is high functioning with a son with Mod autism, and a friends' kids who are on the spectrum from severe to high functioning I completely agree with this. OP had to do his due diligence and it's up to the courts to decide.
I am on the higher functioning side of the autism spectrum (Wasn't diagnosed till age 22). From where I see it, the brother (likely) absolutely knew what he was doing and that it was wrong. If he is high functioning enough that he's applying for student loans, understands what a guarantor is, likely had the conversation with his parents about why they couldn't/wouldn't be a guarantor on his loan, then found the legal documents, his brother's SSN, and proceeded to use that to commit fraud to his own benefit...yeah, there's no way I can see him going through all those steps and not knowing at the VERY LEAST that it was something that society/his family would frown upon. Which is demonstrated by the fact that he kept it a secret from the brother. Honestly, this is the second time I've heard this story, and I can't help but get the vibe that his autism has been used to excuse behaviors his entire life. The way the mom reacts and the way the brother feels a need to explain to him that this was wrong, even though it seems pretty obvious...either through the parent's actions or his own, this is not the first thing that he's done wrong that was rug-swept "because he's autistic!" If you're high functioning enough to live on your own, you have to also be high functioning enough to understand the basics of right and wrong and what is legal or illegal. I really really hate hearing people use autism as a crutch or an excuse.
I had a 7th grade science teacher who used to take off 50 points on a test if we put our name on the wrong side of the paper. Which she wanted on the opposite side of the paper that other teachers wanted it. So we'd get confused and forget then automatically fail the test. My parents had a few words with her. She was the same teacher who gave me detention for being tardy when I went up to her during passing period saying my locker was jammed and she told me to go to the office so they could open it.
The second story is absolutely crazy! I would say no she’s not because if something had happened due to her watching the child I bet the parents would report it. She wasn’t able to contact the father, or any other family, she was given no info or warning, and was not set up to care for a small child. If he had done the same to any professional child care any they couldn’t reach the parents, they would do the same. Just because they were married at one time doesn’t mean that any of this is acceptable behavior. The parent should have looked into using one of the mini services that are available for finding childcare & made sure that he was reachable if there was an issue with his child. I mean I get that his wife was in the hospital having complications and all of that but it could’ve just as easily been his three-year-old child ending up in the hospital because of his negligence.
Please please talk to a criminal defense attorney. As a defense attorney I would love to tell you so much more about how mental health and the criminal system interact. It is incredibly complex!
#1: My son is in middle school, and the grading system is crazy. As a mom, I can understand not wanting my child to do less than their best, but arguing with the teacher over something she has no control over is not going to help. I'm going to have to go with Bad Apple. #2: I can't say calling the cops was wrong. He did abandon the kid with a stranger. I probably would've watched him, but I don't fault her for doing what she did. Good Apple. #3: It does sound like Mom was upset about OP converting and decided to pick a fight because she was just done being nice about it. Last straw kind of thing. If I go to some sort of holiday party or religious/traditional celebration, I expect the host(s) will have traditions they will uphold. I can respectfully abstain if I feel like I need to, but I wouldn't accuse anyone of shoving their religion down my throat. Good Apple. #4: He needed to fix what happened where the loan was concerned. That was, really, the only thing he could do that I know of. If the brother had withdrawn the application, it still would be on OP's credit report. I'm gonna go with Good Apple.
I failed French my first year of high school because prior to that the class time was enough for me to understand the material, so I didn’t study outside of class, looking back I know it was my own fault, and I’ve never blamed the teacher
English class has always been such a nightmare. Always loved reading, writing, and utilizing proper grammar. But English class? NO. My job involves copious amounts of reading & retaining information. All of my English classes were completely useless.
I'm seeing a lot of people suggest the mother in the last story was an accomplice- if so, I suspect an interrogation would result in her being arrested and the brother receiving some kind of stern talking to from an OT or similar professional about ethics overlapping with law and being more careful.
As an autistic with low support needs but high general needs (I get the bus to go to college and hang out with friends by myself and am fully verbal (most of the time) but I need LOTS of recovery time and struggle with basic life skills like getting out of bed everyday) I feel like the stress that the brother was suffering with should be enough punishment especially as he had to go to hospital but he deserves to understand why it was wrong and not because it's illegal but he should understand how everyone was affected and what he could do to make up for it
Sometimes I think it'd be cute to have different icons for the rare batches of same apples. Like occasionally everyone is a good apple in the story, or more often it's a bad batch. Maybe it's one apple that spoiled the barrel, and a sweet apple pie (or maybe that could be for when every story is a good apple, they become a pie)?
The way the American grading system is described here baffles me. At least where I live, people don’t put much weight on grades until high school and if you get a lower grade, you’re just encouraged to study harder. It sounds like getting a lower grade in America is stigmatized. What’s even the point of grades if they seem to discourage students from learning?
Quality of grades is supposed to motivate individuals to try harder to learn the material and make better grades. But you are not wrong that it often can have the opposite effect or demoralize students especially if they are comparing themselves to others
I Am A Full-Blood Native American & We Have A lot Of Traditions, Like One Is That When Someone In Your Family Passes Away, First We Have A Ceremony For Them, Then They Are Buried & All The Food That was served At Their Funeral Gets Put In The Fire Pit & Every Couple Years After A Native American Passes, food Has To Be Put Back In The Fire So The Spirits Can Eat & This Is For Every Native, So You Just Can’t Put Food In The Fire For 1 Whole Family, Because It Wouldn’t Be Enough For Them, You Have To Do It For Each Individual Person & Family Member…
And All Of The Food Is Cooked Over A Fire, We Get Indian Names When We Are Little, My Indian Name Is Wambly Washta Meaning Good Eagle Girl, In My Blood I Have 10 Different Native American Tribes…
I had a school administer and several teachers say that to me. I was so appalled I brought someone from our State with me and the school administrator repeated it in front of her and also called my child mentally retarded (my child is average intelligence with ADHD). The woman from the State reported the administrator and other teachers and they received appropriate punishments. I had even one teacher say she did not get a project and failed my child when another teacher had handed the project to her timely. There are a lot of bad teachers out there. Especially in the South currently.
Story number 4: (coming from someone who has 2 close autistic family members) The op is a good apple. The brother should know better, he was most likely taught that fraud is bad. Some autistic people do struggle with knowing right from wrong, but when they are taught that something is wrong, it normally sticks!
For Story 2, she's definitely a good apple. I wouldn't have even answered the door in the first place! If we're divorced and haven't spoken in years, we are no longer a part of each other's lives.
I work with individuals with developmental disabilities and/or intellectual disabilities with behavioral problems. And they definitely can go to jail for doing things. It has happened.
On the last story, I have a brother on the spectrum. He is capable of cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of pets, but he can't live on his own because he wouldn't stick to a schedule to do those basic tasks. (He's in a way stuck as though he's 14-15; able to help with basic household tasks but still needing assistance.) If he were to want to do something similar, I have full faith he would been able to connect the dots that the social security number could help with his goal to go to film school, but he wouldn't have seen it as a crime. To be fair, with how he is, his anxiety would've been bothering him so much that he would have asked, so I have a hard time putting myself in OP shoes. I'm just mentioning that I understand the problem solving aspect of HIS autism and he would have connected a few, not all, the dots. I empathize with the autistic brother and don't think I personally don't think I would've made a criminal case, but I also understand protecting yourself and following a typical chain of events... Good apple? Again, this is me trying to best put myself in OP shoes. It is a tough call
The ex-husband how dropped the kid was the bad apple not the ex-wife. When you take care of a child you need to know the basics: allergies, medical conditions if any, their diet, ect. You can't force anyone to watch or take care of your child (not even the child's biological parent). Yes it's sad the child has to go through that but it's not the ex-wife's responsibility. I would have done the same, I have a child and have an emergency plan with family and friends.
I’m autistic and I go to a special school where nearly everyone is autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. I, as well as pretty much all of my classmates know that it is wrong to commit fraud.
I'm autistic too and fair enough (love your doom patrol username btw) although I do think there's a difference between being able to recognise something as shady/sneaky and illegal. This story sounds like the former is the case imo
I think the mom suggested it tbh so he didn't think it was wrong or at least not as bad as it actually was
I'm autistic. Although I understand most things a neurotypical person with, I definitely have my moments where my judgement is way off because I just don't realise or can't understand that something is wrong.
Saying that, I don't really think he shouldn't face consequences for his actions
Just because u r autistic doesn't mean another autistic person might not know and I think the mother told there kid this and he thought it was fine as his mother told him I think that's y he is reacting this way as a person. As when a child does something wrong and is told they r going to jail even though it was a mistake that they didn't know it was wrong he is reacting the same way. But I am not professional in this field either my brother maybe better as he has a degree in this
Lol
Wow! That husband in the second story sounds insane! You cheated on your wife and then essentially dropped a random kid at her house? No. Husband's a REAL rotten apple! Ex wife is the good apple!
I think the ex wife’s a amazing apple
@@Kteam616 Agreed!
Honestly I’d be mad that that was child abandonment to a degree. Leaving a child with no adult who’s agreed to care for them,, is abandonment?
What on earth was this guy thinking?? I would have MAYBE considered it if he asked, but what if she hadn't been home?? He just drops off the kid with no notice? I wouldn't do that as a babysitter
Yeah the kids 5 and doesn't know this person and if they don't have a civil relationship then what possibly made the man thinks that is reasonable, in what world??? Your estranged you're apart from each other you no longer have a relationship. The police need to know about this kind of behavior because that is neglect, plane and simple. There is a saying we use at my work all the time "Your poor planning/management is not my emergency."
For that last one, you are absolutely correct. If the brother is able to go to film school, fill out financial aid, & figure out how to use big brother's ss#, he has the ability to know it was wrong. Personally, I wonder if the mom actually did it & is allowing the younger brother to take the blame in hopes that his autism keeps him from getting in trouble.
So glad I’m not the only one thinking this. Especially when OP calls the mom and she’s not at shocking by his news.
I’m autistic and have researched a lot about autism and other neurodivergencies. Just because you’re able to go to film school, fill forms and live on your own doesn’t mean you’re able to tell right from wrong or gauge the effects of your actions on outside parties. Still, it is heavily dependent on the type of autism he has and the characteristics he exhibits, but we don’t have that information.
I think the mom was involved too and told him it was okay or something, I really don't think he knew it was illegal or something terrible to do until his brother got mad and told him he could go to jail
Not only was he able to submit the fraudulent loan application, but he was in the ball enough to know that the siblings SSN would be needed.
I fully believe the mom is the one who filled out that form.
S4: I'm autistic myself and unfortunately I do believe the brother is full of sh*t. I know plenty of autistic teenagers (include myself in high school) who weaponize their autism. I stole my grandmother's credit card when I was 14 to buy a band's CD and video games then played dumb. Luckily, they didn't believe me and I was grounded for about 2 months. I deserved that. 😅
My ex boyfriend was like that, I'm pretty sure he had Aspergers... but he was awful to me; controlling, didn't understand physical or sexual boundaries, jealous. All of our friends gave him a free pass on his behavior, but after 2 weeks of dating he tried to force me into bed with him. I broke up with him, and he spent over a year after that making my life misery; by blackmailing me, guilt tripping my friends into trying to force me back together with him... he was an absolutely awful man, and he used his Aspergers as an excuse to explain why he thought it was fine for him to try to force me to do things with him.
@@RSET16 Respectfully, Aspergers is a dated term bc it's named after a nazi, so words like autism, the spectrum, neurodivergent are terms used to describe it
@@awesomesauce3919they are 2 completely different things trust me I know. I have Aspergers it’s very different from autism.
@@samdancer3808 It depends on the DSM (diagnostic manual) you are referring to. In earlier ones , yes. In the newest one it's all summarized under the term autism
Can we all just appreciate how respectful Rebecca is when sharing her opinions and understanding that others may have different opinions to her ❤️
As always ❤
Ikr she’s amazing ❤️
Exactly❤❤
🙄
Why the face????@@stargirl91291
Story 2: I absoLUTELY would have called the police. I hope there was an investigation after that incident. I am honestly worried about what this dad does with his son on a normal time schedule.
Quite possibly you can set up child care in advance with a babysitter basically saying hey don't know how many days but I'm gonna need an emergency babysitter. Personally I just think he didn't want to pay for a babysitter@RosesDeadFlowers
@RosesDeadFlowers I think you're onto something. OP said she isolated bcz she was at high risk and the ex knew this. He may have assumed she would be the safest person in terms of C O VID, and least expensive (free) to watch the child, regardless of complications.
Being the thoughtless and selfish person he clearly is, he wasn't concerned about exposing OP, but was concerned about the parents across the country being exposed. (That was one of his excuses anyway.)
Even if he did look into setting up childcare ahead of time, he would have known how incredibly expensive that would be for the situation, i.e on-call childcare for unknown hours. Does he and Kate have no local friends?
Even though Kate was the mistress, she was also a mom. The last person she would want watching her son would be OP.
This is all conjecture on my part, but something to think about.
In no world should 85% on a test be considered a C. That kind of grading system is literally setting kids up to fail when it comes to college application time.
I never really understood the letter grading system until now, because in Canada your grades are presented as the percentage, and anything above 50 is a passing grade, so now hearing how that works in some places is literally archaic.
Very true, but still, that’s something to bring up to the principal, not teacher
lets just take a moment to say how respectful rebecca is when shes reading the stories and sharing her opinion! keep doing this have a wonderful day Mrs. rodgers!!!!!
Thank you so much!!
Story 2- Who leaves a young kid with someone who's a stranger to them?
A selfish person. the nerve of that cheater.
Every parent that has ever sent there child to school or camp
A stranger that knows NOTHING, what does he eat, drink, is allergic to anything, does he take medicine.
@@Keynotes08 that's a very different situation. Camp councilors know they're going to be taking care of a child. The kids are sent with information about food sensitivities or allergies. Camps are ready and equip to handle children.
Camp councilors are not ex-wives to the child's father. The father did not cheat on the camp councilors and expect them to take care of the child that was a product of that affair with out telling them first.
Also you pay money to a camp for them to watch your child. This woman was receiving no financial compensation
“An F in English, Bobby you SPEAK English!”
(2 bad apple) How is any of what happens in the ex's life her fault?? This is a product of an affair and might bring up bad memories. Plus how do you know the ex won't drop him off next time he needs convenient child care? This is creating a pattern, plus he probably wasn't even going to pay her.
Related to the first story:
My school has WEIRD grading, and it varies from class to class (ex. In my physics class you can get 100% on every assignment, but a B on a test and your grade goes down to a B, but in my English class you can skip every test and still have like a B or C), so I understand the frustration. I can also say, my parents can see my final score on assignments and tests, but they cannot see the rubric or how many points each question is worth. Also in a few of my classes the teachers don’t provide many (or any) study resources and in those classes they mostly use pre-made things online, so they aren’t really catered to our class and it’s hard to study for said class. The mother might have overreacted, but I entirely understand where she’s coming from, so not necessarily the good or bad apple.
^This.
Absolutely this, I got weird vibes from the teacher. 3 wrong questions on what I assume is an EASY test (not essays, probably one point questions) from 25 landing the kid a C is weird, and if she’s getting A’s everywhere else and the teacher says the student is doing “good”? It’s weird if you ask me, it sounds like this teacher has FAR different grading and maybe is more strict compared to others. She also has prejudice clearly, and the last bit about how the child is struggling in that class NOW, is making me feel like the teacher is resorting to low key bullying the child. Hm.
@@RowanWolf22agree! What really rubs me the wrong way is the very Last part. A teacher should be able to have a conflict with a parent without letting it out one the kid afterwards...
I have Asperger Syndrome. I can tell you you’re right about what you’re saying in the last story. There are some autistic people who can be held accountable for certain crimes and there are some who cannot. I’m only mildly on the spectrum, but I can still distinguish between right and wrong and I know not to do certain things, so if it were me in that situation, I would be on trial. Now, I will say it is very possible that he didn’t understand the fact that you had to have the co-signer with you to co-sign a loan, or you had to at least have written permission to do so. I know from my experience, even though I know right from wrong, I don’t always know what I do is wrong. Especially since Tim probably had other mouths to confirm what he was doing. It comes from the fact that a lot of us have difficulty understanding social cues, so we don’t always catch on. So clearly there was a misunderstanding and it was validated by people he was with. Nevertheless, he should still be held accountable. If he’s able to express interest in film school and be able to file paperwork and fill out an application and such without assistance, there is no reason why he would be deemed unfit to stand trial. I feel like it’s just something he’s going to have to learn the hard way, and while it really sucks it’s another step toward learning and understanding certain social cues and how things work when trying to get federal aid to go to schools. I had to learn some things the hard way myself and it’s not fun. Nevertheless, I think he should be held accountable and I hope he learns from this experience. And the people in his life too, so that they can be more careful what they validate in the future. It amazes me that it went as far as it did without anybody saying anything to him. So there was clearly a misunderstanding going on. That’s a rocky situation for OP, their brother, and their family, and I hope it can get situated.
Another autistic girl here while certain wording you used isn’t wording I’d use I agree, I’m autistic and I think they could’ve been nicer but what I tend to tell people is “if the person is not able to make reasonable decisions or is unable to learn right from wrong they likely have higher support needs and aren’t ready to navigate it all on their own” I for example despite being smart and doing well am not able to navigate academics on my own, my uncle Alton has downs and autism and his mom (my great grandma) handles it so well she has him as independent as possible, disciplines him when he’s in the wrong, and makes sure he has friends who have similar support needs who he understands and hangs out with
Another autistic lady here; I would go so far as to say that Autistic people tend to have a very clear understanding of right and wrong thanks to our tendency for black and white thinking. While sometimes there are situations where it’s unclear due to subtext what is right or wrong, the majority of autistic people have very strong morals.
There are some people with higher support needs who need help to navigate academics and/or life, but assuming the brother was able to sort and fill out all the paperwork for film school and intends to live independently then I cannot see a reason that he shouldn’t be held accountable since he is clearly fit to make these kind of decisions in his own life.
I’m wondering if there is an implication that he couldn’t get a loan because of his autism? And also how the mother knew what had happened?
@@Archeosaurusmy parents has a conservatorship for my brother. He can’t sign a contract or be held by a contract without my parents’ consent. His mom needs to do the same if it comes out that he can’t be held responsible for this due to mental capacity.
Asperger’s no longer is a diagnosis… You have mild autism
I’m also autistic and know other people on the spectrum and when it comes to right or wrong I experience that it is pretty black and white when it comes to stuff like the law. “Why would I do it if it is illegal?” When it comes to right and wrong in social situations it’s more like, for example, when someone does a facial expression to indicate that they didn’t want you to do something but you do it anyway because they didn’t say anything when they think it is obvious. Or like misunderstanding when someone is being sarcastic
I just love hearing the phrase “Happy apple picking day!” every Tuesday.
First story, the mom was wrong for yelling at the teacher for something she had no control over, and the teacher is definitely wrong for the comment about her being too young to understand. Bad batch.
Story two, OMG WHO JUST LEAVES THEIR CHILD LIKE THAT?! Also, I have no sympathy for cheaters, get that gross behavior out of here. Good on op for calling the cops because that was definitely child abandonment and could’ve potentially put the child in harms way. Leaving a kid with a stranger like that is not a good idea, the ex could’ve just found a babysitter online instead of dumbing his toddler onto his ex-wife that he cheated on to have said toddler. Good apple.
Third story, as someone from a family that is not overly religious, if I go to someone else’s house and they have traditions or routines that are different from mine I just go along with them. It’s part of being a good guest. You clean up after yourself, you’re polite, and you accept any parts of their life that may be different from yours. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or other people you go ahead and do whatever you want, especially in the privacy of your own home. Good apple.
Last story, I can’t believe the brother would do that! Also, the mom’s behavior (looking uncomfortable when told about it, crying when op says he’s pressing charges) makes it seem like she 100% knew what her younger son was doing and she didn’t reprimand him at all. If he didn’t know better, she certainly should’ve. She should’ve told him that it was a bad idea, or, if he came to her after he’d already done it, explained to him why it was wrong and made him come clean to his brother and help him through the process of fixing it. Good apple.
If you read this far, thanks for reading my rant about other people’s life choices lol. Have a great day.
Tl;dr: I got one bad batch and three good apples.
As for the first bad apple, I will say my son needed special needs classes and was failing. He's autistic and non verbal and they refused to put him in special needs classes until the gave him their own IEP. After failing the first entire semester of kindergarten. He was finally put in Homebound but God it took so much fighting and outside influence like youth villages and dcs for that to even happen. So some schools and some cases dont care and it's not the students fauly.
They never said that in the story you should never assume
My son is non verbal autistic as well. Reading your comment made me realize how lucky we are that he was immediately placed in the right class. It took time of course, the school district is slow. He stayed at home with me, while we waited for his evaluation etc. So it took multiple-months, but he is doing great in his classes. He is in first grade now, still non verbal and the teaches at his class love him and he loves his class.
I totally feel for your situation, but it is policy that kids cannot be moved to classes until they are evaluated and given an IEP.
This is not the same at all for a kid who is in middle school and has been thriving her entire school career, very different from a child who is struggling in school and being evaluated for autism for special education in kindergarden
@@Rebecca.Rogersthis is true, but I also didn’t realize I was autistic BECAUSE of how well I academically performed even though I was falling behind in life. It wasn’t until I was so suicidal that my school work slipped. I’m still trying to get back on the academic wagon in college after being a burnt out gifted kid. It starts with one class sometimes, and a kids abnormally poor performance deserves review because they could be suffering elsewhere more than in English class.
@@KM-ld9ln @Rebecca.Rodgers yeah I want to second this. I was also a “gifted kid” and straight A student who didn’t realise I was autistic until after I burned out and my schoolwork was one of the last things to go (I think because I understood HOW to work hard, much more than say socialising with my peers). I made it all the way to university before I finally figured out I was autistic. I personally know at least three other women around my age with the exact same experience. Girls are far more likely to be missed, especially if they are good at school and not disruptive. I don’t want to make assumptions since we don’t know, but this scenario does look familiar to me.
Story 3 - Not the family getting mad at their child for saying CHRISTIAN prayers before a meal on the very CHRISTIAN holiday of CHRISTMAS. They also didn’t FORCE them to pray
I think family salty that the op changed religion, that why justify it being " forced"
I guess but ngl if someone says oh I don’t really do Christmas cuz it’s not my religion there will always be an army of people Saying “don’t be a Grinch Christmas is more like a national holiday than anything else! But then if Christian traditions are involved or not really wanted there is another army Saying “ITS A CHRISTIAN HOLIDAYY!!!!!”
@@RaiginAnimator it was originally a pagan holiday. Though traditions changed and some people took over and replaced things.
#4 is such a good apple.
Actions have consequences. He made his bed, lay in it. Don’t just give him an out because y’all are siblings.
I'm not religious and I have my reasons, but I've been exposed to different religions and when in someone else's home I respect their choices. Doesn't matter what religion it is.
I am so relieved that this was posted! I always look forward to Tuesday & Thursday and I have been watching your channel for years now and I’m glad you entertain us!
I'm so glad!
SAMEEEEE
In story #1. I believe that if the teacher had spent a few minutes to explain the rubric and where the student went wrong, the situation could have been diffused and the mom would have the information to help her student do better. I don't think either the mom or the teacher are bad apples just defensive crabapples. The mom was trying to defend her daughter and went in hot and the teacher got defensive and lashed back at mom. I'm not sure the study harder comment was good or bad. That would depend on the tone in which it was said. And the uncomfortable air the student feels in class now is definitely unprofessional. I have seen this from both sides of the table. My mom was a teacher of 40 years. I grew up with the horror stories of parents. She always said that it was her job to listen to their crap and explain why and where little angel Jonny was not doing as well as they thought he should. I vowed not to be that parent. But having a child with phycological accomodations myself, I had to advocate for him multiple times with teachers that wouldn't follow his plan. I probably was viewed as "that parent."
Apple 4: I know nothing about how loans etc. work in the US, but I‘m shocked, that all it takes to co-sign is a social security number. No signature, no ID, no in person meeting? Either way, the brother and maybe even the parents should be held accountable.
My son was autistic and he knew right from wrong in most cases, but still sometimes he would do things where I was like what the heck dude?! Idk, it kinda goes case by case- especially in my line of work. Anyway, love these stories from you!❤
Story #2 The parents had 9 months, NINE MONTHS to set up child care. Not the bad apple!!!❤
Hi, Mrs. Rogers! I love how respectful you are when sharing your opinions on the stories. You’re one of my favorite content creators because you are so kind and honest. I’m a teenager and you’re such an inspiration to me, and I hope to be as good of a person as you one day.
To the women who converted to Catholicism, I just want to send you a warm and joyful Welcome Home! And I am so very proud of you for at least trying to share Christ's Love with your family, even if they were not receptive. That was so very brave of you and all of Saints and Angels celebrated your bravery that day! What a beautiful gift you offered to our Lord for His Birthday! ❤ God Bless you and please sweet sister, don't stop trying to share your faith with your Jewish family! Miracles do happen! Pray for their conversation offten!
#2: I’m wondering was the ex the last resort? There are plenty of people who could the kid over the ex. If I had to leave my kid with somebody the list would go; grandparents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins, babysitter (assuming you have a regular one), friends, neighbours, parents of kid’s friends, only then would I consider the ex I cheated on. I would also explain to the ex ‘you’re my last hope’. It sounds like didn’t bother contacting anybody else and just dropped the kid off.
Re 3- I’m a non-theist Quaker, and the number of times I’ve taken part in Catholic acts of worship because of my family is something I can’t even count. And you know what, it doesn’t matter. I respect the place I’m in regardless of whether or not it’s part of my belief system or not
Story 1: I was thinking a straight 22/25 didn’t think about weights in there.
Story 4:if the brother isn’t competent then some level of blame might potentially fall on the mother for enabling it because if he isn’t competent to stand trial it would require the mom to fill out an app and she should know better
Story 3 resonates with me. My husband comes from a very religious background but due to his personal beliefs he is now agnostic/borderline atheist. His parents say grace everytime they eat. My son and I partake of this, my husband bows his head and holds hands but will not say the actual grace because he considers it disrespectful to pray to a God he doesn’t believe in. This works for us.
As someone who had my daughter at 19 I got told that all the time people constantly said I was just too stupid and had no clue because I was so young the difference in how I am treated with my son that I had in my late 20’s compared to how I got treated with my daughter was staggering
I genuinely enjoy Rebeccas responses to each story
18:09 Sooo many Christians say, “You’re going to hell!” For doing this exact thing. I’ve been screamed at, ridiculed, and damned to hell for respecting the religions of others JUST like this. I just wish some Christian’s would realize that God is not a fear tactic. I believe using God as a fear tactic/telling people they are going to hell for X, Y, Z is taking the Lords name in vain. You cannot convince me that my all loving God would send people to Hell for never hearing about their existence!!!! A little history would also show them the true origins of this Sun God, and the religion…
9:25 i sort of disagree, sometimes the teacher literally will not teach the material in a good, useful, applicable way. so it’s not always the student. saying this as a current high school student
I can agree with you there, I have a teacher that just uses premade online resources and instead of actually teaching us she just gets us to write down what's on the bored which doesn't help you learn, it just shows that you can read and write
I am a special ed teacher, and my brother has autism, and if he pulled that shit he’d be in jail. If you’re able to do something like that, with no help from the mom, it was definitely on purpose
I'm autistic, and there are definitely things that I simply don't understand. but even though we may not understand things like right from wrong, it's important to teach us what is right and wrong. it's not okay to just sweep it under the rug and say "oh she/he doesn't know any better you can't tell them no." because that doesn't help the individual. things that are common sense to neurotypicals' aren't to us and we have to learn. I'm not excusing the kids' actions, but I am saying that people need to teach him if he truly didn't understand that that was wrong.
For #4 I have autism, and honestly often were pushed aside or given excuses to say we don’t know any better, ever. Like you said, it’s a spectrum, it’s just different types of struggles person to person, but if he was able to apply for a loan on his own and apply a co-signer by himself, it really seems like he knew exactly what he was doing, but again I’m not sure where he’s at on the spectrum. I know so many other members of my community though, that do need assistance and still know right from wrong.
The last Apple. The older brother absolutley had to call the police and report it. He can not get that off his credit rating if he doesnt and it could keep him from qualifing for a home loan in the future.
Autistic person here. Autism isn't a sliding scale, no one is mildly Autistic. Some people can accommodate themselves, some are completely dependent on others and some are a variation of the two. It's something that irks a lot of us.
we need our friendly neighborhood lawyer man more often in vids, mabye he could feature once a month?
#2: ex's bad planning isn't op's responsibility. It was literally child abandonment.
I’m sorry but watching a child that you have NO relationship with for your cheating is ex husband? Absolutely not. Ex husband is insane for that. I’m sure the kid is just a scared with some strange woman (to them) as they would be getting taken back to their father by cops.
Bad Apple is always the best part of the week! Thank you Rebecca 💜
#4. I think that it is important to be serious with the autistic brother however if you know that he can get into an irrational meltdown that makes him unable to function for weeks, you should choose your words very wisely!
I am enjoying this episode in Dublin on vacation. You made my night after being delayed in an airport for 2 days. I watched you before going to bed you help me relax.
On the second one I really don’t agree that you should even entertain the idea of taking care of that child because what if the child being a child gets hurt or any other thing she is liable for that child. She did the right thing call the cop and have take the kid so she avoids anything that might happen especially if they have a bad relationship.
I agree plus it could be a situation where it is then expected of her to be an unpaid babysitter whenever they need it
@@marvelismylife946 true also it denotes how truly sad these people are if they didn’t have anyone else other then the ex wife, victim of their affair, to leave this child. Karma at it truest
I loved all of your answers. I was ready to say the mom in the first story was a good apple, but it didn't occur to me that different questions do have different values when scoring tests. And the third story resonated with me quite a bit. My mom's side of the family are all Baptists, and I'm not. I'm not even a Christian anymore. But when I go down for Thanksgiving, I bow my head while they bless their food and let them say their prayers, because I feel it's the respectful thing to do. No need to cause a problem where there isn't one.
The way the first story mom believed the daughter and thought she wasn’t being overdramatic
Given the way the story about the kid with the C in English is written, I feel like I've identified the issue. To the mom: YTA. She returned the energy you came at her with.
The audacity to drop off the kid you had with your mistress at your ex-wifes house. Thats just nuts. This lady was nicer than me. I would've probably gotten a restraining order. This guy's a crazy person.
#1, if that child was just starting middle school, that story makes some sense to me. My dad is a 7th grade teacher and he sees so many strait A students start failing subjects because they never studied or had work to finish at home, and there’s homework given in every class in 7th grade. My dad also sees so many students who may have struggled in previous years get better grades because they are used to working on things at home and studying for tests, which is a necessity ‘skill’ to have when starting 7th grade. So I’m not too surprised the daughter started struggling in that class. I think both mom and teacher were out of line
For story 3, I’m a Christian who grew up in a Lutheran family. I go to Lutheran church and partake in saying grace before mealtime. (With my dad’s side of the family, my mom’s family doesn’t do that) But my point is, I don’t care what religion you are, you are a person, and I’ll respect your beliefs, but won’t follow. So people should respect people’s beliefs.
That second story, I would not have done the same thing as OP but her actions were completely reasonable. The audacity of the ex is outrageous. As you said Rebecca, it’s not the kids fault and I’d have looked after the kid and then had serious words with the ex. That poor child will be traumatised
I relate to the 3rd story since my dad was raised Jewish but became Christian when he married my mom. When we have dinner with that side of my family, we do the Jewish prayers sometimes, especially when we are celebrating a holiday (we do Hanukkah and Christmas together) and sometimes we just say grace as my family usually does. I think there are some hard feelings from that side of my family but at surface level we all just respect each other. I totally agree that OP is a good apple; when you go to someone else's house you should respect their religion and they should do the same for you.
The fact that the brother was able to fill out the papers himself for the loan and even try to file for a loan on his own in the first place and realize that he needed a social security number for the cosigner and all that means he is "high functioning" or "low spectrum" what used to be called Asperger's.
New rebbecca quote "Wow, that escalated quickly."
I do say that a lot...lol
Story 4: Autistic adult here, so I might speak on that. The brother definitely did the wrong thing here and I believe from what was stated that he knew it was wrong. But, might be a bit easier influenced into believing things are right and normal when they are actually not. Since he did get the information from the parents that might have played a part here? In the case of filing a report and getting you credit score and record cleared I believe op did the right thing, but I also believe the brother learned his lesson, as he is in quite a bad mental state over this. If I were op I'd just settle the case so brother doesn't end up in prison. But since op is just following the justice system he is the good apple, even if saying that feels very wrong to me.
So I'm an atheist and i have many moral qualms with the majority of organized religion, including catholicism. That being said, i have many friends that come from all religions and several of them do say grace at meals. Regardless of my personal feelings toward religion and my own lack of belief in it, i will ALWAYS put my head down and pray with them because they are people i CARE ABOUT and i would never disrespect their beliefs in their own home that they welcomed me into. Whether you believe in what they're doing or not doesn't matter, what matters is having basic human decency and consideration for others. #3 did absolutely nothing wrong, good apple all the way.
👇petition for sad apples
#2: WTF??? This guy could get jail time for child abandonment! NTBA, good on her for reporting. And if you feel bad for the kid, it's better that he get out of that situation in which a reckless act occured. It may be possible for ex to still take care of the kid short-term while a more permanent situation, or at least a temporary foster is found (that is, assuming custody was revoked from the parents). Full disclosure: not a legal expert, so actual options may differ.
The ex-husband is committing child abandonment and is abuse. He shouldn’t have kids.
Apple number 2 wasn’t wrong. Yes he should have communicated to her about what was going on and asked his ex for a favor. What if she wasn’t at home? What if he just dropped the kid off on the door step, got into a car accident and never returned? What then? Communication is MANDATORY in ANY marriage. Using your words effectively helps in the long run and will clear up most issues.
I think people forget an emergency to them does not mean it's an emergency to anyone else.
#4) Good apple! Bro didn’t find anything in the attic. Mom is a liar. Sounds like Tim probably doesn’t have as many problems as mom gave him. Sounds like mom told Tim to have OP co-sign without asking.. which is fraud. So, yes, get that 🐂 💩 off your credit!!
As for kids on the spectrum with apple #4. Remember a teacher was nearly killed for taking a switch from an autistic student in class.
I do agree that's complex thinking and can understand right from wrong. He was scared for thinking of going to jail.
So, yes I have put my uncle in jail for having crack in my car and me not knowing anything about it. As he was a repeat offender and I never was one for law breaking.
Just becuase they are my relative, does not mean that that excuses them from consequences.
For story 4, I have autism and it isn’t bad, I mainly just have poor social skills. My bad social skills has caused me to make poor decisions impulsively. I have the understanding of using my sibling’s social security number for a loan is illegal and wrong. But just because I’m autistic and I know that, maybe Tim doesn’t. I think Tim should just have to do some community service. Not much, maybe an hour or two. Something to let him know that what he did was wrong. I also think he shouldn’t have a criminal record if he really didn’t know that was wrong.
I agree. He can be high functioning in some ways and still not understand the seriousness of his actions here. He should get consequences but probably not as sever as someone who did fully understand their actions. Community service seems like a good compromise.
not me thinking yesterday was tuesday and waiting all afternoon yesterday for this vid lol 🤣
Thanks Rebecca, for the advice at the end I really needed to hear that
23:26 NO YOU WERE NOT THE BAD APPLE!!!!
Autism is an EXPLANATION, NOT AN EXCUSE!!
He ABSOLUTELY KNEW IT WAS WRONG!! I’m autistic and I know not to do that shit. My son is also autistic and I HAVE TAUGHT HIM that stealing is bad!!
If Tim didn't think he was wrong it wouldn't have taken months for the truth to come out.
I 100 percent agree that the police should have been called on Tim for his actions. Former Special Ed teacher here. If he has the cognition to think through the use of his brother's SS# as a co-signer to obtain a loan he is highly functional. He may have emotional issues related to his place on the spectrum, but that does not negate his awareness that he used his brother without permission. If he truly wanted the loan and thought his brother could help he'd have asked. The fact that his mother knew all this and did not intervene is a red flag for me. The brother needed to follow through with the law to be able to redeem his credit rating and in order to have the blot removed from his credit history. It was perhaps not the most tactful thing of him to tell Tim that he would go to jail, but then again, someone should have told him there were consequences to his actions and that what he did hurt his brother and his SIL. Tim's decline is not, however, his brother's fault. The parents were aware of the actions Tim took and should have been advisors to Tim, if he requires this, to inform and prepare him for the consequences of his actions. The court will likely take into account Tim's mental state and his autism in its judgement.
I agree the OP had no choice but to go to the police, but the way they spoke to Tim was more than “not tactful”. It triggered an acute psychiatric crisis that includes regression-which I’m sure you know can be permanent-and if you know anything about autism, this isn’t an unpredictable outcome. What Tim did was wrong, but he’s autistic and going through a MAJOR life transition, that is actually several transitions in one. I’m sure you’ve seen how that kind of stress about change and dealing with processes that require a lot of executive functioning can affect an autistic person’s judgment. It sounds too like mom knew, and didn’t give him good advice about what to do about it. The OP is going to be able to get their credit back, but Tim may never recover from the crisis the OP caused by speaking to him that way, which could have been avoided if they had chosen kinder words. That makes OP a crab apple if not a bad apple in my eyes.
(For context, I’m autistic myself and my background is in psychology and mental health.)
@@letitbe56 I agree that the harshness of the encounter was uncalled for, that should have been reserved for OP's parents who obviously knew what Tim had done and did nothing to stop him or remedy the situation.
Yes it’s Tuesday! I’ve been here for so long and I still luv this channel!❤
Yay! Thank you!
My brother is on the spectrum and also takes college classes. Despite this, I could see him doing something like this without understanding that it wasn’t ok. People who have autism can have low support needs in some areas but high support needs in others. I feel like other steps could have been taken before involving the authorities and he definitely shouldn’t have told his brother he would go to jail
in regard to story one, I was one of those kids who coasted along through school until English in my junior year of high school. I started with a D during the second semester and through hard work I was able to bring it up to a B.
Our voices RISE in song toooogether as our joyful prayer is said!!
Story 1 I was seriously confused until you explained the multipoint questions. Thanks! 😊 I will also say that when I was a parent I looked at my kids papers/homework books for information and rarely had to reach out for explanations. When my daughter took creative writing I got a call from the guidance counselor every single week because her writings were so dark. "HI, this is the guidance counselor. Did you see the story this week? " "Yup and I copied it to give to her therapist and psychiatrist. Are we good?" "Yup. I'm sure we'll talk next week." 😂
Story 2 the ex husband is an a**hoke. They had 9 months to prepare. They don't have any friends? Neighbors? Family? Now if he showed up and said the people who were going to help us are sick or whatever then for the sake of the child I would have sucked it up. But the way it was presented puts me on the fence. That said with my ex, I would have immediately called the police once he refused to answer his phone. Well, I might have had him paged at the hospital. OP wouldn't have a car seat to transport the kid to his family. These things can take a couple hours to a couple days and it's now my responsibility without any warning? OP is definitely NTA
Story 3 you said it perfectly.
Story 4 as someone who is high functioning with a son with Mod autism, and a friends' kids who are on the spectrum from severe to high functioning I completely agree with this. OP had to do his due diligence and it's up to the courts to decide.
I am on the higher functioning side of the autism spectrum (Wasn't diagnosed till age 22). From where I see it, the brother (likely) absolutely knew what he was doing and that it was wrong. If he is high functioning enough that he's applying for student loans, understands what a guarantor is, likely had the conversation with his parents about why they couldn't/wouldn't be a guarantor on his loan, then found the legal documents, his brother's SSN, and proceeded to use that to commit fraud to his own benefit...yeah, there's no way I can see him going through all those steps and not knowing at the VERY LEAST that it was something that society/his family would frown upon. Which is demonstrated by the fact that he kept it a secret from the brother.
Honestly, this is the second time I've heard this story, and I can't help but get the vibe that his autism has been used to excuse behaviors his entire life. The way the mom reacts and the way the brother feels a need to explain to him that this was wrong, even though it seems pretty obvious...either through the parent's actions or his own, this is not the first thing that he's done wrong that was rug-swept "because he's autistic!"
If you're high functioning enough to live on your own, you have to also be high functioning enough to understand the basics of right and wrong and what is legal or illegal. I really really hate hearing people use autism as a crutch or an excuse.
I agree a lot with the second story. You can’t just cheat on your wife and then leave a kid with her that’s not even hers.
I would binge her reaction and this show endlessly
I had a 7th grade science teacher who used to take off 50 points on a test if we put our name on the wrong side of the paper. Which she wanted on the opposite side of the paper that other teachers wanted it. So we'd get confused and forget then automatically fail the test. My parents had a few words with her. She was the same teacher who gave me detention for being tardy when I went up to her during passing period saying my locker was jammed and she told me to go to the office so they could open it.
The second story is absolutely crazy! I would say no she’s not because if something had happened due to her watching the child I bet the parents would report it. She wasn’t able to contact the father, or any other family, she was given no info or warning, and was not set up to care for a small child. If he had done the same to any professional child care any they couldn’t reach the parents, they would do the same. Just because they were married at one time doesn’t mean that any of this is acceptable behavior. The parent should have looked into using one of the mini services that are available for finding childcare & made sure that he was reachable if there was an issue with his child. I mean I get that his wife was in the hospital having complications and all of that but it could’ve just as easily been his three-year-old child ending up in the hospital because of his negligence.
Please please talk to a criminal defense attorney. As a defense attorney I would love to tell you so much more about how mental health and the criminal system interact. It is incredibly complex!
#1: My son is in middle school, and the grading system is crazy. As a mom, I can understand not wanting my child to do less than their best, but arguing with the teacher over something she has no control over is not going to help. I'm going to have to go with Bad Apple.
#2: I can't say calling the cops was wrong. He did abandon the kid with a stranger. I probably would've watched him, but I don't fault her for doing what she did. Good Apple.
#3: It does sound like Mom was upset about OP converting and decided to pick a fight because she was just done being nice about it. Last straw kind of thing. If I go to some sort of holiday party or religious/traditional celebration, I expect the host(s) will have traditions they will uphold. I can respectfully abstain if I feel like I need to, but I wouldn't accuse anyone of shoving their religion down my throat. Good Apple.
#4: He needed to fix what happened where the loan was concerned. That was, really, the only thing he could do that I know of. If the brother had withdrawn the application, it still would be on OP's credit report. I'm gonna go with Good Apple.
I failed French my first year of high school because prior to that the class time was enough for me to understand the material, so I didn’t study outside of class, looking back I know it was my own fault, and I’ve never blamed the teacher
English class has always been such a nightmare. Always loved reading, writing, and utilizing proper grammar. But English class? NO. My job involves copious amounts of reading & retaining information. All of my English classes were completely useless.
I feel ya on the press-ons! They look so good! But they make it so hard to type that i only put them on for the holidays when were on break :D
Wow, I never realised how harsh American grading systems can be. 85% is an A grade in most of the systems where I’ve attended school.
I'm seeing a lot of people suggest the mother in the last story was an accomplice- if so, I suspect an interrogation would result in her being arrested and the brother receiving some kind of stern talking to from an OT or similar professional about ethics overlapping with law and being more careful.
As an autistic with low support needs but high general needs (I get the bus to go to college and hang out with friends by myself and am fully verbal (most of the time) but I need LOTS of recovery time and struggle with basic life skills like getting out of bed everyday) I feel like the stress that the brother was suffering with should be enough punishment especially as he had to go to hospital but he deserves to understand why it was wrong and not because it's illegal but he should understand how everyone was affected and what he could do to make up for it
Sometimes I think it'd be cute to have different icons for the rare batches of same apples. Like occasionally everyone is a good apple in the story, or more often it's a bad batch. Maybe it's one apple that spoiled the barrel, and a sweet apple pie (or maybe that could be for when every story is a good apple, they become a pie)?
The way the American grading system is described here baffles me. At least where I live, people don’t put much weight on grades until high school and if you get a lower grade, you’re just encouraged to study harder. It sounds like getting a lower grade in America is stigmatized. What’s even the point of grades if they seem to discourage students from learning?
Quality of grades is supposed to motivate individuals to try harder to learn the material and make better grades. But you are not wrong that it often can have the opposite effect or demoralize students especially if they are comparing themselves to others
I believe the mother gave him permission to use the Social Security number.
I Am A Full-Blood Native American & We Have A lot Of Traditions, Like One Is That When Someone In Your Family Passes Away, First We Have A Ceremony For Them, Then They Are Buried & All The Food That was served At Their Funeral Gets Put In The Fire Pit & Every Couple Years After A Native American Passes, food Has To Be Put Back In The Fire So The Spirits Can Eat & This Is For Every Native, So You Just Can’t Put Food In The Fire For 1 Whole Family, Because It Wouldn’t Be Enough For Them, You Have To Do It For Each Individual Person & Family Member…
And All Of The Food Is Cooked Over A Fire, We Get Indian Names When We Are Little, My Indian Name Is Wambly Washta Meaning Good Eagle Girl, In My Blood I Have 10 Different Native American Tribes…
I had a school administer and several teachers say that to me. I was so appalled I brought someone from our State with me and the school administrator repeated it in front of her and also called my child mentally retarded (my child is average intelligence with ADHD). The woman from the State reported the administrator and other teachers and they received appropriate punishments. I had even one teacher say she did not get a project and failed my child when another teacher had handed the project to her timely. There are a lot of bad teachers out there. Especially in the South currently.
How dare they take a child of an affiar to the cheated on persons house, especially since either of them never met!
Story number 4: (coming from someone who has 2 close autistic family members) The op is a good apple. The brother should know better, he was most likely taught that fraud is bad. Some autistic people do struggle with knowing right from wrong, but when they are taught that something is wrong, it normally sticks!
For Story 2, she's definitely a good apple. I wouldn't have even answered the door in the first place! If we're divorced and haven't spoken in years, we are no longer a part of each other's lives.
I work with individuals with developmental disabilities and/or intellectual disabilities with behavioral problems. And they definitely can go to jail for doing things. It has happened.
On the last story, I have a brother on the spectrum. He is capable of cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of pets, but he can't live on his own because he wouldn't stick to a schedule to do those basic tasks. (He's in a way stuck as though he's 14-15; able to help with basic household tasks but still needing assistance.) If he were to want to do something similar, I have full faith he would been able to connect the dots that the social security number could help with his goal to go to film school, but he wouldn't have seen it as a crime. To be fair, with how he is, his anxiety would've been bothering him so much that he would have asked, so I have a hard time putting myself in OP shoes. I'm just mentioning that I understand the problem solving aspect of HIS autism and he would have connected a few, not all, the dots. I empathize with the autistic brother and don't think I personally don't think I would've made a criminal case, but I also understand protecting yourself and following a typical chain of events... Good apple? Again, this is me trying to best put myself in OP shoes. It is a tough call
The ex-husband how dropped the kid was the bad apple not the ex-wife. When you take care of a child you need to know the basics: allergies, medical conditions if any, their diet, ect. You can't force anyone to watch or take care of your child (not even the child's biological parent). Yes it's sad the child has to go through that but it's not the ex-wife's responsibility. I would have done the same, I have a child and have an emergency plan with family and friends.
People named Tim w/ Autism: *looks at self, nervous laughter*