My main way to deal with the world is my high intelligence... And right now I struggle with everything, I forget everything, words, my sentences jumbled, I lose time, I cant ujderstabd simple texts ans fail to understand simpke thinks, I cant focus... Like drugged out of my mind, i have no memories fot like half a year and I just cant get out
I feel like I have been in burnout for years. I have only just figured out at age 60 that I am autistic as well as ADHD. The enormity of all of this has not yet sunk in. I recognize myself and many of my best friends in your description of stimming. Thanks for this.
@ Diane Nemea Lae . Hi Di, I've just read your comment from a year ago. So pleased to have read it. I'm 63 now and after watching countless videos on autism I believe I have/ I am autistic as well. (I'm not sure of the correct way to say "have autism"? or "am autistic"?). Wondering if at 60 you went for a diagnosis or settled for a self diagnoses. I've just found out the ridiculous amount of $ to be diagnosed, (over $3000 here in Australia) well beyond my budget, so I wonder if I'll be confident and courageous with my self diagnoses and to share with others. Considering how little is known about it especially with females in the wider community, I wd expect a lot of pushback. I believe it's prevalent in my family, (siblings and children). I think my Mum definitely had ADHD and possibly autism but was never diagnosed so life was often times difficult for her family to stay close and feel close until her passing. She was very unpredictable. Nevertheless I stuck by her and she eventually mellowed somewhat towards the end. I would welcome a reply from you or any senior aged female entering or going through this journey who reads my comment. Or from the video maker. (Thanks, Wen)
@@3rz-rhymesreasonsandwritte437Hi 🙂 I'm 57 and recently self diagnosed as autistic. It came as a complete shock and I find myself re-evaluating my entire life. It's both good and bad. So many things make so much more sense now, and the huge burden of guilt around feeling broken has dissipated. The relief from this is immense and I feel hopeful for the future now I understand what's at the root of my overwhelming anxiety, agoraphobia and depression. I've had m.e. for 30 years and now believe a great deal of this is actually autistic burnout that I may now be able to improve. The bad has come mainly in feelings of grief and sadness I wasn't diagnosed earlier in my life, and perhaps been able to live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling and productive life. But at least I know now, I feel I have rediscovered hope, even though the journey ahead is daunting... wishing you all the best ❤
Your videos are doing a great service, because you're so articulate, you're like a "translator" for how the world appears to autistic people, and how autistic people manage the world around them and interactions.
I had not heard the explanation of stimming as how it can assist us in listening and processing information and that really resonates with me. Autism researchers need to listen to the perspectives of autistic adults and their lived experiences more to really grasp autistic behaviour. I know what my stimming is and why that is an indicator of being autistic, but I’ve never been told that it is another way of listening, which is quite frankly just as valid as making eye contact to listen, and I think that is a really great explanation of why we stim. Why would anyone try to stop a child from stimming which is not only harmless but helpful when it is just their way of being?
I crochet in classes and at church so I can listen and comprehend better. Otherwise I can’t focus or get out of my head long enough to hear what is going on outside my head.
I had an insanely long burnout this year after I was finally diagnosed with ASD. It was beyond overwhelming going back through all my painful memories and framing them with autism. My burnout manifested as a loss of all interests. All I wanted to do was sleep and go for walks. About a month ago, I finally healed from this burnout and am interested in things again.
@@robertjmccabe Holy crap. Wish you the best of course - just thinking about, that that will destroy my life, if I'll have that for 8/9 months. Was there anything, that helped you getting better? Cause since two days I can't do anything anymore and I got officially diagnosed two days ago.
@@Gandalf_the_quantum_G go for walks. That’s the only thing that helped me. 2 days is just the beginning. You are in shock. The real pain will begin in a few weeks. I am sorry 😞 if you have a job, try to take leave. And try to isolate as much as possible because you will get angry and burn bridges.
@@robertjmccabe I realized, that I am emotionally totally deregulated and started an argument with my girlfriend and today again. I'm angry, that's right - and emotionally overwhelmed. Thank you so much for your advice, I'll take it in consideration and make a walk now. I hope, that you're getting better as well.
Can you be so exhausted that you don't even have the energy for your interests? I feel completely off everyday mentalt emotionally physically. I'm 32 and waiting for to get diagnosed autism. I have adhd diagnosed already. I have been staying home for over a month now doing nothing but rest and short walks but I'm still exhausted and having struggle doing my own dinner as well. I have been depressed before but this is not that.
@@duckrivermama66 I changed within this one year completely. I have more interests than ever, a good surrounding and made career in the finance industry. You'll get it as well 😊! Wish you the best!
Very well said, it explains a lot. I was often bullied for "trying to sound clever" whereas all I wanted was to make myself understood. Generally, people do not believe that we have a different experience of the same thing.
Unfortunately my AuDHD burnout was bad enough to push me into a psychotic break. It can be very difficult to recover from burnout as a whole, I'm glad you were able to get through this and I think it's important to have videos like this so that people can begin to understand how to recognize burnout within themselves.
I feel so validated listening to you explaining what I could never find words to explain. I work and I am married and I manage okay, but society always expects more. Instead of believing society, I know I am enough as I am. 💜😁
That's a hard thing to get through your head. I do feel like I kind of fall short sometimes as a mother. Taking my kid to a birthday party is a whole thing. Her little cousin had her party at one of those indoor kid play places, when they said that was where it would b I thought "you mean a cesspit?" Lol but of course I didn't say that
My psychologist and me disagree... He thinks it PTSD (which there also are reasons why he might think that), I thought it was depression... But we were both wrong.. It definitely is Autistic Burnout... You say it's a personal experience, but everything you said fell right into place... The masking, the falling onto rejection if you don't. The forgetting how to take of the mask (I haven't been me for 35-ish years)... The incredible physical exhaustion (which I usually just push through, because in my mind, everybody else can do it: Be on time, function, etc, so I should too, but that also kinda keeps me in the spiral), the not being able to find words, not being able to find the words to express yourself, and at some point not even caring anymore... And just shut down, and don't communicate anymore...
I have both, and other things. PTSD or CPTSD comes hand in hand with undiagnosed Autism. You grew up experiencing a lot of trauma, plus you are Autistic! Yknow? Very valid.
My teenage son was diagnosed last year, I wish I had this knowledge earlier. A massive eye opener to understand how he feels from time to to time. The way you described the burnout was exactly what he went thru. Unfortunately as parents that didn't know at that point couldn't understand and thought it was just teenage depression and school work overload. So glad I stumbled across this video.. I has certainly helped me understand
I had to completely go back to the basics last year. Getting out of bed early, going for a walk, eating, delving a tiny bit into my hobbies and going to bed early was all I could manage for months. I think an autistic burnout was the cause, with GAD as an amplifier and a severe case of depression as a result
So much of this is relatable, I have sent the link to my psychologist so that she can get a better understanding of what happens for burnout. Newly diagnosed and explains why I would have what looked like depressive episodes that medication didn't make a difference for.
My son is now off meds,and he can clearly see now they were just making things worse... more understanding from the one's around him and less stress.. he doesn't need the meds. And he is very happy and proud of that.❤
@@CanadasEleanor She isn't my psychologist anymore, didn't know anything about autism and didn't want to learn. Have recently started with someone else and she understands autism well enough that she can notice different traits in me. Sux that it happened but have ended up with someone who knows so overall I am better off.
This is excellent. Orion explains and communicates very well the burnout stage. I wish I'd known about this years ago. I was diagnosed at age 79 which was a big relief to know why I was so "odd.". I have been stemming since a small child and still do at 79. I twizzle my hair which is comforting. Anyway good video Orion!! ❤️😍🌷😇🤗🌹
Hi Orion, the medical community would benefit greatly through greater acceptance of individual perceptions of Autistics such as You and Neurodivergent Rebel. Keep making these videos, sharing Your truth and loving this life✌️🧡🙏🕉🇨🇦
Pavlov is true, I have spent the last 10 years of life conditioned by a narcissist to think i had a bad memory. I have been amazing recently about how good my memory is, but then I realized I was probably correct the whole time when I said I told her things or did this, but she was manipulating me to think i didnt to get what she wanted. Thank you thank you, this has helped me so much.
The computer rebooting analogy really hits home with how I feel everyday after work. I need a little time to transition and regroup or I'll be more distracted, forgetful or irritable as I can be easily overwhelmed, drained, and not sharp feeling. Before I recently realized my ASD/ADHD/PDA makeup I just chalked it up to just being a bit fried from work, but now it makes more sense as to my ND playing a bigger part in the cause of how I'm feeling and the reasoning behind it. Better understanding of how shutdowns work and how to recover will help me a lot with these situations as I'll have a better chance of recharging my batteries (or draining them less) before my computer goes into power saving mode and reboots.
Loving your videos Orion. I'm a 60 year old woman and have never been diagnosed, but the more I research ASD, the more I am convinced that I am autistic. I resonate with SO much of what you say, and my whole life has been a massive struggle. Everything is starting to make sense to me. Thanks for your work 👍
Very helpful thank you! I am suspecting I may be on the spectrum and this video helped me identify a problem I’ve been dealing with for awhile. It’s nice to have a name for something I’ve been shameful of. I saw myself as lazy and the guilt was making it worse. Keep making videos!
What I find funny is that not being able to focus on reading to much or have a book hold my attention, the Bible of all things, I can read for hours. It is actually laid out to in a fashion that it makes sense to me. It kind of is like a puzzle and I can see it clearly. People say its contradictory, but nope! It's just that they can't see it.
During the covid pandemic I was in a, what I now believe, autistic burnout. It started about one year in when my parents began believing conspiracy theories around the situation and constantly pressured me to "wake up" and believe them too. In that time I also was writing my thesis, which was new and very hard for me. Add to that the uncertain situation that was taxing for all of us and it was just too much. I lost interest in pretty much everything I used to love. Even watching series and playing video games, which was my comfort medium before, just annoyed and bored me. I took 2,5 years to finish my thesis and I didn't even see a point in doing that at the end. I had no idea what to do and where I am in life, what to expect and how to go on. I felt nothing. At all. Both of my uncles died in that time and I felt almost nothing. Eventually I started to see light again when I started to retreat into my garage more and more often. I finally found joy again - in wrenching and riding on my motorbike. That garage was also a space in which I was protected from my parents' rambling, had an excuse for not working on my thesis, was alone and could just enjoy myself again, finally. It's still hard to find meaning and direction in my life, but I'm starting to get back on track. This was the worst time in my entire life and I'm glad that it's over. I never experienced something like this before. Sorry for my rambling. This video (which was quite nice and informative by the way, thank you Orion!) just kicked this up and I need to share it. Thank you to anyone who read this far.
Straight up - I think this is one of your best videos! I’ll be watching this a few times - I had a lot of realisations on first view - thanks for sharing. 🙏
My anxiety is fueled by self betrayal from masking or people pleasing, and the burn out as you describe it, is fueled by my anxiety. If my emotional sink is clogged, it doesn't take long for those emotions to overflow. Change management was a focus in my MBA, it's not exactly the same thing, but it is. Change management can be aided a great deal by consious expectation management.
I had to leave work today because I was visibly shaking with anger because of the social pressures and simple miscommunications that people take way too personally instead of talking it out with you. I don’t know if this was a burnout but I’m glad I left the situation and that my boss was understanding.
Just recently found your channel and already sharing, you articulate well what I try and fail to with people. Per video, I understand why yet loath when peopleb seem to conflate Autistic behavioir with neurotypical "nobody is normal" sentiments lacking our lived experience.
I like your rational manner of explaining the autistic experience. It’s different. Very authentic. Just as relatable as any other presenter i have watched. It interests me that we are all prouder to say “WE ARE ALL SO IDIOSYNCRATIC IN OUR EXPERIENCES” rather than “we share a lot of similarities, perhaps with some notable exceptions”. 🙄
This is the first video ive watched during this burnout thats brought me a sense of being understood or heard. I cant verbalise right now, im in the middle of an unexpected burnout. The way you put it that 'you can do these things and it will NOT be easy, but it doesnt mean you cannot do these things' really helped. Youre right. I expect myself to cope like an NT when im just not built like that! My big changes, my daily life, my goals, all come with a sacrifice and extra effort. They come with meltdowns, shut downs, burnout, stimming, echolalia and emotional dysregulation but it has never actually stopped me from completing a goal. Not once. Cause even though its hard...the reward i feel when i get through that is unmatched. I get to look at myself and say 'im Autistic and i still did that, i am SO proud'. I watch you have your partner and your kids and your youtube channel and i admire you so much because i know just how difficult it is and then how rewarding it is to live a full life as an Autistic person. It gives me strength and hope. I dont want to give up my dreams and goals just because i progress through them differently.
i love how vulnerable u r when talking about ur stims, it can feel weird to be aware of them and to talk about them but u do it! ur videos have helped me understand and put into words the things i experience
i used to have melt downs as a child (primary school nickname was the volcanic hippy). Becoming an adult I started to develop shutdowns, feel my body starts to vibrate and i become non-verbal (happens more often as I approach periods of burnout. Stimming also helps me concentrate/listen. #ActuallyAutistic.
I really appreciate what you do on you tube.its the first time I feel like someone has explained what I've been through and that I'm not alone and that it's okay to go through them.thanks so much
Many self diagnosed autistics are not. They probably have narcissistic personality disorder. My son was diagnosed when he was 4 so I know the real from the fake.
This is why, now that I know I am autistic I only do things that I feel a bit uncomfortable with in short periods . Now I know the problem I find it easier to deal with. Your descriptions of situations are the best I've heard
For me, I really feel disoriented when my normal routine is interrupted. I can still function, but something just feels "off". If it happens too often, then it's stressful and I have to realize I'm stressed out and do something about it. Rather than just pretend everything is fine, which is what I'm doing most of the time 😅
Thanks so much for this video. It is the most accurate explanation of burnout that I have come across. My family and friends do not understand my autistic traits and I feel that the only way I can manage going forward is to isolate myself. This has made me feel less crazy and alone.
Thank you. With this explanation you helped me understand why I was getting those periods after a time working on controlling my emotions and feelings. I have times where I work on myself and my emotions and feelings but then, after a week, if something happens that is change in routine, or changes in general, is like I’m done and I get a meltdown. I never noticed it but today I did a diary of every time it happened and has always been after a period of working hard on myself, my emotions, and my feelings, and then something new happen after a time and I meltdown and blame it on the events, when it’s me burning out because I’ve done too much and my mind said “that’s it, can’t handle anymore”. This video is so helpful because now that I understand I can start to work towards making this better with the help of a therapist and the people I have around. I’m really grateful for this ❤
I "pull" on my hair and scalp pick all the time... and before I realized I was autistic, I wasn't sure what the cause was, and I am still "caught" doing it, but I am now able to explain that it is just a stim, and at least pulling on my hair is not causing an issue, so leave it alone. Similarly, before my Autism diagnosis, I thought the Echolalia was just me being weird... and people didn't understand that these were the only words I could find to explain what I wanted to explain. Thank you for giving my brain the words.
I, too pick at my scalp. At times I have had large, deep sores from doing it. I believe my grandmother did the same. When mom was her caretaker, she tried to get her to stop. Sigh. How to explain that though it hurts, it is oddly satisfying.
Your vid’s have helped immensely, thank you for your willingness to be authentic and for producing this extremely insightful content! I can relate to your experiences in a lot of ways and it’s helped me feel significantly less alienated and more accepting of myself vs the person I force myself to be (purely for the purpose of survival/relation). haha Often feel like life is nothing more than a loop of survival functions/tasks (meaninglessness) and am realizing I’ve likely been suffering from burnout for at least a year or more and have been totally ignoring my body, which has compounded into so much muscle tension it’s unbearable at times and no amount of yoga/exercise/massage seems to do anything that will last more than a few hours. Realizing I need to be much more conscious of the environments I subject myself to and stop trying to power through everything via a compulsive desperation to feel normal lol Keep up the great work mate, love it!
Reading your comment helped me remember I need to pay more attention to my environments as well. I’ve always known things effect me DEEPLY but I’ve been pushed past my threshold for so long now that I feel numb but also EXTREMELY agitated all the time. The bit about yoga and massage not helping hit hard :/
This is exactly what I needed to see and be able to share with my 2 closest life long friends and my Mother. I’ve been struggling to explain the series of burnouts and meltdowns I’ve experienced since being diagnosed 6 months ago rather unexpectedly. You have so clearly and concisely explained you’re experience (of which I I00% relate to), that I feel I can finally stop and breathe. Thank you so very much Orion!!
Thank you for sharing this. As a matter of fact, thank you for doing all the work you do. Autistic people simply aren’t understood very well by wider society around the world, and it’s always kinda got me down. In reading a lot of the comments, I see the fantastic community of people that you’ve fostered, and it makes me really happy to see that people around the world are becoming more aware and accepting of autism.
Many thanks for these valuable information. I have an Asperger family member and he doesn't really express himself or admit he is autistic but all the symptoms really correlate with what you are saying and the nice thing that you are teaching how to deal with the burn out. I paid £50 to an online psychiatrist to ask her how to deal with the situation, she kept silent the whole session and after the session was about to finish she asked me to write him a letter and shouted at me and hang up on our call
Thank you so much. I resonate with this. I would so appreciate a video that talks about meltdown, burnout, and shutdown and how to identify each and how to know why it's happening and how to work through them. This journey is new to me, though I've questioned "aspergers " since I was in my 20s. Now in my 40s and this whole autism spectrum is making sense to me. Not yet officially diagnosed. I know I feel burned out and shutdown/disengage a lot but I can't figure out what causes it. I'm guessing a lot is just being a parent and not knowing how to deal with the sensory overload that comes with being a parent. Also I can't quite identify what my meltdowns are other than extreme agitation over everything and then getting anxious and trying to control everything. Not sure if that's a meltdown or not but it pretty much happens on a daily basis on some level. Thanks so much for your channel.
I wish I could avoid my triggers are my work (which I can't avoid because of my bills) and having a neurotypical husband and a 1 year old son. Glad to know the reason I haven't been the same since having my son is probably because I have undiagnosed autism with my adhd and the added stress from having a child put me over the edge into constant burnout. Thank you so much for this video - almost all of it explains so much for me and resonates deeply! I am glad I am not just a sad excuse for a human being! 😂
I'm 30 years old & have been diagnosed with alot of things, but not autism even though I'm convinced that I am autistic. Your videos have really helped me a lot, just wanted to say thank you so much!! 🥰❤
Thank you thank you thank you I’m taking your info and this video with me to family counseling session in hopes it can help me explain how I am not lazy or making excuses. I’m 39 and 5 months into a soft diagnosis, and I had no idea how widespread burnout could be. You made me feel less alone when I truly need it. Thank you Orion 💙
As someone with autism I often experience burnout like you. I thought this was something related to depression as I'm also diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My parents also think the same. I didn't know there was such thing as autistic burnout. I just thought it was my depression making me feel too burnt out to be able to cope with stuff. You have explained it perfectly. For me it's like my brain has crashed like a computer and needs time to reboot.
I am struggling with a bunch of stuff right now, and my partner made me realize that I might have some level of autism. Your videos are so helpful with understanding more about autism as an adult.
Have had a (maybe, hopefully) life-changing experience of acceptance to this video tonight. Ive felt like this exactly, for over a year or so if its even possible. Before that i have been struggling all my grown-up life. But after my father passed away a year ago, then worn out from education and exhaustion and having 3 small kids with diagnoses, this year was like living constantly overheated and crying. Ive been talking to a therapist who has been trying to get me to accept that i cant go on like this. But shame, norms of childhood upbringing and society have held me from accepting my difficulties fully. When every word in this video was exactly what i have been feeling i finaly feel that i can let go, and it will be easier from now on. Because knowing that Im actually pretty ill today, and seeing this guy happy after having what im having, i know now theres a way out if i let go. And i have been searching for that way for maybe 20 years or more, Im 44 now. I have ADD and GAD, might be autistic as well, my father surely was. But thanks for this, i relly needed it and i really believe that tomorrow will be different.
It sure is difficult. Organizing my life so that it is as simple, quiet and stable as is possible is good. Fallout from noise, change and the unexpected takes time. 'Accept the things we cannot change one day at a time' has also helped me immensly.
During exam 'season' I'd be sitting with my fingers in my hair constantly. My partner would always joke about the weird 'learning hair' I'd get because I would be gently pulling it for hours, until it stayed that way in the evening. It just helped to stay focused. Fun times.
I'm 42 years old, married with a child and the last couple of years I've been really thinking a lot about whether or not I could be autistic. I've always felt as though I was a bit odd, not incredibly so but just like I'm a step or two out of sync with the world in general. Social interaction has always been a challenge for me and I feel like it was always just a skill I didn't happen to pick up as I was developing as a child. My parents always mention that I spent a lot of time around adults so they thought that's why I related better to more grown-up conversation than with my own peers but to be honest I've just always been horribly uninterested in what most people talk about. Even as an adult I find most conversations to be horribly inane and largely pointless. Gossiping about pop culture or professional sports just seems pointless in the grand scheme of things to me when there are so many more fascinating aspects of existence that one could be using their mind to think about. I've been told that I'm someone who in essence feels the need to explain a joke or a concept and dissect it to an unnecessary degree. But it's odd to me to think the one can just go through life without trying to understand what the nature of existence is. My daughter, who I think is thankfully neurotypical isn't interested in makeup of things or understanding why something is the way it is, she's just satisfied that it is. That is such an odd concept to me. Now listening to some of these videos I'm starting to believe that not only am I on the spectrum but I believe my 70-year-old father is as well I don't think I could ever broach the subject to him because his generation did and doesn't really buy into many aspects of psychoanalysis. But some of the idiosyncratic processes I remember seeing my father engage in as a child just rings so true to this.
This is incredibly insightful. I never knew what echolalia was. I used to repeat the dumbest quotes from movies in my head non stop and i that i was such a freak. It was usually part of my ocd tick that i never really acknowledged. I also pick my nails to the point of bleeding without knowing.
Just found you & subbed! thank you for sharing your experience. I'm still undiagnosed but doing deep dives into learning more about myself from the autistic perspective. Definitely resonate with this video. Look forward to more.
Thank you so much, I'm 28 and found out I had Autism with my ADHD at age 25 and I really feel like recently I been feeling so exhausted physically to the point I just want to rest, so this video really help me have a understanding of burnouts in a sense.
That part about echolalia really hit home. I do that so much and always just chalked it up to me being weird. I've never heard anyone else describe it this way. Imhonestly thinking that maybe I've been living undiagnosed. The situations you describe are exactly the way I experience them and I've always assumed there was something wrong with my personality. Always end up feeling like no one really understands me and they only tolerate me rather than enjoy being around me. I've honestly struggled with these issues to the point of having thoughts of suicide. The burnout is something I have ed experienced many times and never understood why it happened, why the meltdowns happened, why I couldn't stop myself from repeating the cycle. Your videos have opened my eyes to the reality that I may be dealing with more than just things that are "normal" for everyone. I've always felt that stress affects me more than th hose around me, the powerful emotions that switch randomly like manic depressive mood swings, taking things the wrong way and that leading g to meltdowns. I've had suspicions for years, but never heard anyone explain it the way you do. So I thought " na you're just being a wimp, man up." But you describe EXCTLY what I feel and experience. I hope you can understand how amazing that makes me feel.... to have an answer for a lifetime of difficulty.👍😞💯
I have been in talks with my Mental Health Dr to be tested for ADHD and ASD. And after watching this video I am so glad that I asked about it. Because for many of my 45 years I have thought that I have been Stress Sick. But I don't remember not feeling like you have described here. Thank you.
thank you. the mother of my children, who hasn’t had a diagnosis but who says she is on the spectrum, had burnout often during the early years. I had never joined the dots until now.
😢😢😢❤❤❤❤😅 thank you orian i really respect and praise your explaining of all these issues to the non austic community so that they understand you alot better! Thank you so much buddy!❤❤❤
That was the best video I’ve watched so far since I’ve started to think I have autism. It made so much sense. You explained it so well and really put it in the context of ‘real life’ - I am also a partner and a parent . It’s really really helped me. I’m going to show this to my partner to help him understand what’s going on with me.
There was a time where I was by myself and I basically fell into Decay, that's what I called it. I barely ate, slept, and didn't even go to work. I didn't write or anything and I kept saying that I was burned out and tired.
That was a very helpful talk. I don't think I am autistic, but my mind got screwed up almost 50 years ago. I was studying a lot of heavy science and math courses and was very depressed. I had to drop out of college. Since then I still like to think and write, but I will get extremely fatigued and depressed. I got sick because of burnout. But you discussed the subject very calmly, compassionately and understand the subject. Orion thank you and God bless you.
9/10 video Orion (I never give 10s) navigating this at the moment, in terms of how to recover from it from the onset so it doesn't go long term. This vid helps so much and hope to share at some point :)
Spot on with the description of burnout. The quoting songs. Films and TV shows made me laugh. As I do that when approaching burnout. Haven't heard anyone explainng it before.
My teachers would say I was digits in grade school. I could be very busy doing nothing!! Playing with things in my desk, buttons on my clothes, my hair etc…
Brilliant video thx you Orion, I am in Autistic Burnout at the moment myself. similar expereince to you, with speech sometimes It comes out not right, or in fragments etc along with sometimes not being able to get words out. I only got diagnoised with Autism this year at age 27 at the time im 28 now
Listening to you explain makes it sound like the kind of burnout anyone can experience and that AIN’T it. It is a different level of burnout that there is nothing simple about, as it runs very deep and is extremely debilitating. It is the constant bombardment of all the things that disturb us deeply and not being able to escape long enough to heal. It is the people who SHOULD know you but don’t respect you enough to truly understand you and they treat you like you are without emotion or like you aren’t the least bit different than any other low functioning neurotypical. Never having any quiet time, being relentlessly asked a million questions, loud environment with loads of triggers regardless of how you explain yourself. Or, working in the public field that tells you that you must conform and you must grin and bear it like all good robots do along with an attitude of ruthlessness that society deems as ‘necessary to survive’ but chisels away at your soul. And never having the time to do the things that you are very interested in because of responsibilities that everyone heaps on you because your mask falsely make you super human. Burnout feels like the edges of your soul are raw from being singed with so much noisy input from a world so laden with distractions that they no longer understand what it means to be a real person. It is NOT US that causes this burnout..it is the world we live in that has crippled our magnificence and our value. They cripple us so that we look and function like they do so that THEY can feel “NORMAL”. At our prime we are the very glue that holds society together.
A lot of us could never deal with the obligations of having a spouse and children, so good on you. From the time I was a kid, I knew that marriage and kids would have felt like a prison from which I could never escape. As a senior woman, people must think I'm a loser because I don't have the social currency that a husband, children, an grandchildren give you. But there is no way I could function with others making demands of me on a regular basis. Even now, a friend is ghosting me because I had the audacity to decline his company for an extra 2 hours on a Saturday beyond our scheduled lunch and coffee. I may have to kick him to the curb, even though he's the only friend I have right now - so sad. I must do what I need to do when I need to do it, or I will become overwhelmed.
You can't just unbreak your leg. You have to heal from it. Yes you can't just sit around avoid responsibilities, but at the same time you can't just snap your fingers and the leg is healed. We ourselves need to lower expectations of ourselves, but also everyone around us needs to lower expectations too when we're burned out. It is what it is.
I am 60 now diagnosed One year ago and I remember dealing well with this as a kid going to my room and crying and staring at a wall and playing with the tears on my skin then falling asleep. Now life is far more complex maybe I still should do this for myself.
Thank you Orion. I have had comorbid severe OCD all my life - I’m now 76. It seems that lots of autistic traits are shared with my OCD; I’m sure I also have PTSD as a result of having to interact with toxic people who don’t want to understand. Over the last few years I have been unable to do the hobbies I previously enjoyed. I live alone, housebound because of heart disease on top of everything and have to sleep every few hours. Your videos really help, but I just wish my NT aqaintencies and my children would take some time to listen to you and to read up on autism/OCD. It has been suggested that autism is a normal evolutionary process of neuroplasticity to deal with the complicated world we are forced to live in. Thank you Orion :)
Wow! I do many of these things. Lately what happened is that I made several careless mistakes at work and I felt like my manager was annoyed with me. So I was being very hard on myself. I felt near tears for a week, very sad, very discouraged, and very negative. I called in to work one day and then I had so much anxiety about going back. I made a huge deal about it with my managers at work. Is rejection sensitivity common in autism because I know it happens in ADHD? I have been diagnosed ADHD, but self diagnose as autistic.
Since nobody has replied to this, according to all the TH-cam that I have watched, you can have it simultaniusly, comorbidly. Weather it stems from your autism or adhd, will be up to your own studies of the subject or some very thorough diagnosing I guess. I think I got both the asd and adhd as well, without the hyper activity. And I guess that is the explanation that I rather watch documentaries and TH-cam like this than read, even though I read well and is not mathematical. I struggle to get a clear formal diagnosis to anything I struggle with despite living in a country that is famed for good free healthcare. Best wishes from Denmark 👍
Your awesome 👍🏻😎 very good at explaining and you are a great talker, presenter , creative and a joy to watch , peace 🕊️ from UK , another neuro divergent here 😊
I'm in my 50's. My melt downs in my childhood felt like I was being pushed off the edge of a cliff. Then the tears, hyperventilating windmilling of the arms mumbling nonsense, huffing out just fuck all.. Because a bad memory popped up and someone says "What's wrong?" But as they asked I get a mental rock in my neck and am incapable of saying why im freaking out. Still happens. As I am learning why, it does give me the ability or courage or capacity to know I need to express it, weird as my shit is. I have grandkids with the same problem now, so it is imperative for me now to share my experience so my kids know how to better manage their interactions with their children. The worst thing is I need to help the grandkids themselves, but I lack the capacity to connect.
“Autistic regression” is one of the hardest things to go through during burnout
Preach, I'm crying because I feel like I've lost myself. Last week I could do things, this week I can't. I feel like a constant failure.
My main way to deal with the world is my high intelligence... And right now I struggle with everything, I forget everything, words, my sentences jumbled, I lose time, I cant ujderstabd simple texts ans fail to understand simpke thinks, I cant focus... Like drugged out of my mind, i have no memories fot like half a year and I just cant get out
I feel like I have been in burnout for years. I have only just figured out at age 60 that I am autistic as well as ADHD. The enormity of all of this has not yet sunk in. I recognize myself and many of my best friends in your description of stimming. Thanks for this.
@ Diane Nemea Lae . Hi Di, I've just read your comment from a year ago. So pleased to have read it. I'm 63 now and after watching countless videos on autism I believe I have/ I am autistic as well. (I'm not sure of the correct way to say "have autism"? or "am autistic"?). Wondering if at 60 you went for a diagnosis or settled for a self diagnoses. I've just found out the ridiculous amount of $ to be diagnosed, (over $3000 here in Australia) well beyond my budget, so I wonder if I'll be confident and courageous with my self diagnoses and to share with others. Considering how little is known about it especially with females in the wider community, I wd expect a lot of pushback. I believe it's prevalent in my family, (siblings and children). I think my Mum definitely had ADHD and possibly autism but was never diagnosed so life was often times difficult for her family to stay close and feel close until her passing. She was very unpredictable. Nevertheless I stuck by her and she eventually mellowed somewhat towards the end. I would welcome a reply from you or any senior aged female entering or going through this journey who reads my comment. Or from the video maker. (Thanks, Wen)
@@3rz-rhymesreasonsandwritte437Hi 🙂 I'm 57 and recently self diagnosed as autistic. It came as a complete shock and I find myself re-evaluating my entire life. It's both good and bad. So many things make so much more sense now, and the huge burden of guilt around feeling broken has dissipated. The relief from this is immense and I feel hopeful for the future now I understand what's at the root of my overwhelming anxiety, agoraphobia and depression. I've had m.e. for 30 years and now believe a great deal of this is actually autistic burnout that I may now be able to improve. The bad has come mainly in feelings of grief and sadness I wasn't diagnosed earlier in my life, and perhaps been able to live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling and productive life. But at least I know now, I feel I have rediscovered hope, even though the journey ahead is daunting... wishing you all the best ❤
Your videos are doing a great service, because you're so articulate, you're like a "translator" for how the world appears to autistic people, and how autistic people manage the world around them and interactions.
Well said mate! Thank you!❤🎉🎉🎉
He's a translator for me to me as well!😂
I had not heard the explanation of stimming as how it can assist us in listening and processing information and that really resonates with me. Autism researchers need to listen to the perspectives of autistic adults and their lived experiences more to really grasp autistic behaviour. I know what my stimming is and why that is an indicator of being autistic, but I’ve never been told that it is another way of listening, which is quite frankly just as valid as making eye contact to listen, and I think that is a really great explanation of why we stim. Why would anyone try to stop a child from stimming which is not only harmless but helpful when it is just their way of being?
Yeah for sure like pacing on the phone
I crochet in classes and at church so I can listen and comprehend better. Otherwise I can’t focus or get out of my head long enough to hear what is going on outside my head.
My son is 36, when he was small, I told him to “look at me when I’m talking.” He said, “mom, I can’t hear you unless I’m playing with my toy.”
Focusing on how to appear forcing eye contact makes it so i can't understand pay attention to what's being said then they are even more angry.
I had an insanely long burnout this year after I was finally diagnosed with ASD. It was beyond overwhelming going back through all my painful memories and framing them with autism. My burnout manifested as a loss of all interests. All I wanted to do was sleep and go for walks. About a month ago, I finally healed from this burnout and am interested in things again.
Do you remember how long the burnout-state was going on?
@@Gandalf_the_quantum_G officially 8-9 months. But I’m still feeling it.
@@robertjmccabe Holy crap. Wish you the best of course - just thinking about, that that will destroy my life, if I'll have that for 8/9 months. Was there anything, that helped you getting better?
Cause since two days I can't do anything anymore and I got officially diagnosed two days ago.
@@Gandalf_the_quantum_G go for walks. That’s the only thing that helped me. 2 days is just the beginning. You are in shock. The real pain will begin in a few weeks. I am sorry 😞 if you have a job, try to take leave. And try to isolate as much as possible because you will get angry and burn bridges.
@@robertjmccabe I realized, that I am emotionally totally deregulated and started an argument with my girlfriend and today again.
I'm angry, that's right - and emotionally overwhelmed. Thank you so much for your advice, I'll take it in consideration and make a walk now. I hope, that you're getting better as well.
Can you be so exhausted that you don't even have the energy for your interests? I feel completely off everyday mentalt emotionally physically. I'm 32 and waiting for to get diagnosed autism. I have adhd diagnosed already. I have been staying home for over a month now doing nothing but rest and short walks but I'm still exhausted and having struggle doing my own dinner as well. I have been depressed before but this is not that.
I don't have any interests anymore, it's more like I remember that I used to be interested in this or that. The only thing I do is binge watch videos.
Same here.the only thing I do is work and eat.then back to bed
@@Gandalf_the_quantum_G Yes, yes, yes.
I tell people I'm just numb. There's no joy. I just move through life. Folks don't get it.
@@duckrivermama66 I changed within this one year completely. I have more interests than ever, a good surrounding and made career in the finance industry. You'll get it as well 😊! Wish you the best!
Very well said, it explains a lot. I was often bullied for "trying to sound clever" whereas all I wanted was to make myself understood. Generally, people do not believe that we have a different experience of the same thing.
During burnout, talking is physically painful. I lose words. I don't wanna talk. Listening to people talk hurts. I just want silence.
Yes oh my god!! Everytime this happens I physically cannot talk. It's like my whole system just shut down and all of a sudden I'm a toddler again
Unfortunately my AuDHD burnout was bad enough to push me into a psychotic break. It can be very difficult to recover from burnout as a whole, I'm glad you were able to get through this and I think it's important to have videos like this so that people can begin to understand how to recognize burnout within themselves.
I feel so validated listening to you explaining what I could never find words to explain. I work and I am married and I manage okay, but society always expects more. Instead of believing society, I know I am enough as I am. 💜😁
Thanks so much for sharing that. You’re feelings validated my experiences as well and I’m grateful they resonated with you.
That's a hard thing to get through your head. I do feel like I kind of fall short sometimes as a mother. Taking my kid to a birthday party is a whole thing. Her little cousin had her party at one of those indoor kid play places, when they said that was where it would b I thought "you mean a cesspit?" Lol but of course I didn't say that
My psychologist and me disagree... He thinks it PTSD (which there also are reasons why he might think that), I thought it was depression... But we were both wrong.. It definitely is Autistic Burnout... You say it's a personal experience, but everything you said fell right into place... The masking, the falling onto rejection if you don't. The forgetting how to take of the mask (I haven't been me for 35-ish years)... The incredible physical exhaustion (which I usually just push through, because in my mind, everybody else can do it: Be on time, function, etc, so I should too, but that also kinda keeps me in the spiral), the not being able to find words, not being able to find the words to express yourself, and at some point not even caring anymore... And just shut down, and don't communicate anymore...
Yeah currently getting assessed for cPTSD as I've had A LOT of trauma and my Autistic Burnout has been going on a bit longer than normal.
Just a thought that it could be ptsd making masking harder and therefore leading to faster burnout via increased resource consumption
@@martianfoodcompany5485 Probably
I have both, and other things. PTSD or CPTSD comes hand in hand with undiagnosed Autism. You grew up experiencing a lot of trauma, plus you are Autistic! Yknow? Very valid.
I chuckled when you said "Autistic Community" because we don't do "community" very much. But I like the thought that we ARE a community.
My teenage son was diagnosed last year, I wish I had this knowledge earlier.
A massive eye opener to understand how he feels from time to to time.
The way you described the burnout was exactly what he went thru.
Unfortunately as parents that didn't know at that point couldn't understand and thought it was just teenage depression and school work overload.
So glad I stumbled across this video.. I has certainly helped me understand
I hope my other videos are helpful as well.
There are higher chances that autism runs in families. Have you found this to be true?
I had to completely go back to the basics last year. Getting out of bed early, going for a walk, eating, delving a tiny bit into my hobbies and going to bed early was all I could manage for months.
I think an autistic burnout was the cause, with GAD as an amplifier and a severe case of depression as a result
So much of this is relatable, I have sent the link to my psychologist so that she can get a better understanding of what happens for burnout. Newly diagnosed and explains why I would have what looked like depressive episodes that medication didn't make a difference for.
My son is now off meds,and he can clearly see now they were just making things worse... more understanding from the one's around him and less stress.. he doesn't need the meds.
And he is very happy and proud of that.❤
Pretty bad when you have to teach your Dr 😢
@@CanadasEleanor She isn't my psychologist anymore, didn't know anything about autism and didn't want to learn. Have recently started with someone else and she understands autism well enough that she can notice different traits in me. Sux that it happened but have ended up with someone who knows so overall I am better off.
This is excellent. Orion explains and communicates very well the burnout stage. I wish I'd known about this years ago. I was diagnosed at age 79 which was a big relief to know why I was so "odd.". I have been stemming since a small child and still do at 79. I twizzle my hair which is comforting. Anyway good video Orion!! ❤️😍🌷😇🤗🌹
I twizzle my hair too!! It’s always been a trait people comment on…
Hi Orion, the medical community would benefit greatly through greater acceptance of individual perceptions of Autistics such as You and Neurodivergent Rebel. Keep making these videos, sharing Your truth and loving this life✌️🧡🙏🕉🇨🇦
Pavlov is true, I have spent the last 10 years of life conditioned by a narcissist to think i had a bad memory. I have been amazing recently about how good my memory is, but then I realized I was probably correct the whole time when I said I told her things or did this, but she was manipulating me to think i didnt to get what she wanted. Thank you thank you, this has helped me so much.
The computer rebooting analogy really hits home with how I feel everyday after work. I need a little time to transition and regroup or I'll be more distracted, forgetful or irritable as I can be easily overwhelmed, drained, and not sharp feeling. Before I recently realized my ASD/ADHD/PDA makeup I just chalked it up to just being a bit fried from work, but now it makes more sense as to my ND playing a bigger part in the cause of how I'm feeling and the reasoning behind it. Better understanding of how shutdowns work and how to recover will help me a lot with these situations as I'll have a better chance of recharging my batteries (or draining them less) before my computer goes into power saving mode and reboots.
Loving your videos Orion. I'm a 60 year old woman and have never been diagnosed, but the more I research ASD, the more I am convinced that I am autistic. I resonate with SO much of what you say, and my whole life has been a massive struggle. Everything is starting to make sense to me. Thanks for your work 👍
Very helpful thank you! I am suspecting I may be on the spectrum and this video helped me identify a problem I’ve been dealing with for awhile. It’s nice to have a name for something I’ve been shameful of. I saw myself as lazy and the guilt was making it worse. Keep making videos!
Sigh… this is above and beyond helpful for me today. I so appreciate your way of talking about your experiences and burnout. Thank you.
What I find funny is that not being able to focus on reading to much or have a book hold my attention, the Bible of all things, I can read for hours. It is actually laid out to in a fashion that it makes sense to me. It kind of is like a puzzle and I can see it clearly. People say its contradictory, but nope! It's just that they can't see it.
Because in God's economy, when we are weak and rest in His Word, then He becomes our strength. Never leave or forsake you, no matter where you are at!
I’ve been trying to fit in to the world for 65 years
I now know the norm for me is not weird or strange it’s autistic ❤
you are so eloquent and generous - you help NT's to understand
During the covid pandemic I was in a, what I now believe, autistic burnout. It started about one year in when my parents began believing conspiracy theories around the situation and constantly pressured me to "wake up" and believe them too. In that time I also was writing my thesis, which was new and very hard for me. Add to that the uncertain situation that was taxing for all of us and it was just too much.
I lost interest in pretty much everything I used to love. Even watching series and playing video games, which was my comfort medium before, just annoyed and bored me. I took 2,5 years to finish my thesis and I didn't even see a point in doing that at the end. I had no idea what to do and where I am in life, what to expect and how to go on. I felt nothing. At all. Both of my uncles died in that time and I felt almost nothing.
Eventually I started to see light again when I started to retreat into my garage more and more often. I finally found joy again - in wrenching and riding on my motorbike. That garage was also a space in which I was protected from my parents' rambling, had an excuse for not working on my thesis, was alone and could just enjoy myself again, finally. It's still hard to find meaning and direction in my life, but I'm starting to get back on track. This was the worst time in my entire life and I'm glad that it's over. I never experienced something like this before.
Sorry for my rambling. This video (which was quite nice and informative by the way, thank you Orion!) just kicked this up and I need to share it. Thank you to anyone who read this far.
Straight up - I think this is one of your best videos! I’ll be watching this a few times - I had a lot of realisations on first view - thanks for sharing. 🙏
I’m so happy to hear that. Thanks!
My anxiety is fueled by self betrayal from masking or people pleasing, and the burn out as you describe it, is fueled by my anxiety. If my emotional sink is clogged, it doesn't take long for those emotions to overflow.
Change management was a focus in my MBA, it's not exactly the same thing, but it is. Change management can be aided a great deal by consious expectation management.
I had to leave work today because I was visibly shaking with anger because of the social pressures and simple miscommunications that people take way too personally instead of talking it out with you.
I don’t know if this was a burnout but I’m glad I left the situation and that my boss was understanding.
Just recently found your channel and already sharing, you articulate well what I try and fail to with people. Per video, I understand why yet loath when peopleb seem to conflate Autistic behavioir with neurotypical "nobody is normal" sentiments lacking our lived experience.
THANK YOU you do help me to understand myself....
Thank you for sharing. I am also in the spectrum and have a wife and son. It is good not to feel alone.
I like your rational manner of explaining the autistic experience. It’s different. Very authentic. Just as relatable as any other presenter i have watched.
It interests me that we are all prouder to say “WE ARE ALL SO IDIOSYNCRATIC IN OUR EXPERIENCES” rather than “we share a lot of similarities, perhaps with some notable exceptions”. 🙄
This is the first video ive watched during this burnout thats brought me a sense of being understood or heard. I cant verbalise right now, im in the middle of an unexpected burnout.
The way you put it that 'you can do these things and it will NOT be easy, but it doesnt mean you cannot do these things' really helped. Youre right. I expect myself to cope like an NT when im just not built like that! My big changes, my daily life, my goals, all come with a sacrifice and extra effort. They come with meltdowns, shut downs, burnout, stimming, echolalia and emotional dysregulation but it has never actually stopped me from completing a goal. Not once. Cause even though its hard...the reward i feel when i get through that is unmatched. I get to look at myself and say 'im Autistic and i still did that, i am SO proud'.
I watch you have your partner and your kids and your youtube channel and i admire you so much because i know just how difficult it is and then how rewarding it is to live a full life as an Autistic person. It gives me strength and hope. I dont want to give up my dreams and goals just because i progress through them differently.
i love how vulnerable u r when talking about ur stims, it can feel weird to be aware of them and to talk about them but u do it! ur videos have helped me understand and put into words the things i experience
i used to have melt downs as a child (primary school nickname was the volcanic hippy). Becoming an adult I started to develop shutdowns, feel my body starts to vibrate and i become non-verbal (happens more often as I approach periods of burnout. Stimming also helps me concentrate/listen. #ActuallyAutistic.
I went through a LOT of packs of gum, back when it was forbidden in class. But I could concentrate better if my jaws were busy.
I really appreciate what you do on you tube.its the first time I feel like someone has explained what I've been through and that I'm not alone and that it's okay to go through them.thanks so much
Most of the autistic TH-camrs I've been listening to seem so freaking *normal*. I wish you lived nearby.
Many self diagnosed autistics are not. They probably have narcissistic personality disorder. My son was diagnosed when he was 4 so I know the real from the fake.
This is why, now that I know I am autistic I only do things that I feel a bit uncomfortable with in short periods . Now I know the problem I find it easier to deal with. Your descriptions of situations are the best I've heard
For me, I really feel disoriented when my normal routine is interrupted. I can still function, but something just feels "off". If it happens too often, then it's stressful and I have to realize I'm stressed out and do something about it. Rather than just pretend everything is fine, which is what I'm doing most of the time 😅
I do this exact thing every day. How do we stop this?
Thanks so much for this video. It is the most accurate explanation of burnout that I have come across. My family and friends do not understand my autistic traits and I feel that the only way I can manage going forward is to isolate myself. This has made me feel less crazy and alone.
Thank you. With this explanation you helped me understand why I was getting those periods after a time working on controlling my emotions and feelings. I have times where I work on myself and my emotions and feelings but then, after a week, if something happens that is change in routine, or changes in general, is like I’m done and I get a meltdown. I never noticed it but today I did a diary of every time it happened and has always been after a period of working hard on myself, my emotions, and my feelings, and then something new happen after a time and I meltdown and blame it on the events, when it’s me burning out because I’ve done too much and my mind said “that’s it, can’t handle anymore”. This video is so helpful because now that I understand I can start to work towards making this better with the help of a therapist and the people I have around. I’m really grateful for this ❤
I "pull" on my hair and scalp pick all the time... and before I realized I was autistic, I wasn't sure what the cause was, and I am still "caught" doing it, but I am now able to explain that it is just a stim, and at least pulling on my hair is not causing an issue, so leave it alone. Similarly, before my Autism diagnosis, I thought the Echolalia was just me being weird... and people didn't understand that these were the only words I could find to explain what I wanted to explain. Thank you for giving my brain the words.
I used to pick my eye lashes as a child. Now I see that was a stim.
I, too pick at my scalp. At times I have had large, deep sores from doing it. I believe my grandmother did the same. When mom was her caretaker, she tried to get her to stop. Sigh. How to explain that though it hurts, it is oddly satisfying.
I haven't been diagnosed but I pick my lips and finger skin
Your vid’s have helped immensely, thank you for your willingness to be authentic and for producing this extremely insightful content! I can relate to your experiences in a lot of ways and it’s helped me feel significantly less alienated and more accepting of myself vs the person I force myself to be (purely for the purpose of survival/relation). haha Often feel like life is nothing more than a loop of survival functions/tasks (meaninglessness) and am realizing I’ve likely been suffering from burnout for at least a year or more and have been totally ignoring my body, which has compounded into so much muscle tension it’s unbearable at times and no amount of yoga/exercise/massage seems to do anything that will last more than a few hours. Realizing I need to be much more conscious of the environments I subject myself to and stop trying to power through everything via a compulsive desperation to feel normal lol
Keep up the great work mate, love it!
Reading your comment helped me remember I need to pay more attention to my environments as well. I’ve always known things effect me DEEPLY but I’ve been pushed past my threshold for so long now that I feel numb but also EXTREMELY agitated all the time. The bit about yoga and massage not helping hit hard :/
This is exactly what I needed to see and be able to share with my 2 closest life long friends and my Mother. I’ve been struggling to explain the series of burnouts and meltdowns I’ve experienced since being diagnosed 6 months ago rather unexpectedly. You have so clearly and concisely explained you’re experience (of which I I00% relate to), that I feel I can finally stop and breathe. Thank you so very much Orion!!
Thank you for sharing this. As a matter of fact, thank you for doing all the work you do. Autistic people simply aren’t understood very well by wider society around the world, and it’s always kinda got me down. In reading a lot of the comments, I see the fantastic community of people that you’ve fostered, and it makes me really happy to see that people around the world are becoming more aware and accepting of autism.
I so appreciate your podcasts. They are very informative!
Thanks for your time and information. Very kind of you to do. Thanks agian
Thank you so much for explaining this in a very easy to understand way. You are able to give words to an experience that most people don’t get.
Many thanks for these valuable information. I have an Asperger family member and he doesn't really express himself or admit he is autistic but all the symptoms really correlate with what you are saying and the nice thing that you are teaching how to deal with the burn out. I paid £50 to an online psychiatrist to ask her how to deal with the situation, she kept silent the whole session and after the session was about to finish she asked me to write him a letter and shouted at me and hang up on our call
Thank you so much. I resonate with this.
I would so appreciate a video that talks about meltdown, burnout, and shutdown and how to identify each and how to know why it's happening and how to work through them.
This journey is new to me, though I've questioned "aspergers " since I was in my 20s. Now in my 40s and this whole autism spectrum is making sense to me. Not yet officially diagnosed.
I know I feel burned out and shutdown/disengage a lot but I can't figure out what causes it. I'm guessing a lot is just being a parent and not knowing how to deal with the sensory overload that comes with being a parent. Also I can't quite identify what my meltdowns are other than extreme agitation over everything and then getting anxious and trying to control everything. Not sure if that's a meltdown or not but it pretty much happens on a daily basis on some level.
Thanks so much for your channel.
I wish I could avoid my triggers are my work (which I can't avoid because of my bills) and having a neurotypical husband and a 1 year old son. Glad to know the reason I haven't been the same since having my son is probably because I have undiagnosed autism with my adhd and the added stress from having a child put me over the edge into constant burnout. Thank you so much for this video - almost all of it explains so much for me and resonates deeply! I am glad I am not just a sad excuse for a human being! 😂
I'm 30 years old & have been diagnosed with alot of things, but not autism even though I'm convinced that I am autistic. Your videos have really helped me a lot, just wanted to say thank you so much!! 🥰❤
I’m 31 and I’m with you!! I’m so grateful for people on TH-cam like Orion!
Thank you thank you thank you
I’m taking your info and this video with me to family counseling session in hopes it can help me explain how I am not lazy or making excuses.
I’m 39 and 5 months into a soft diagnosis, and I had no idea how widespread burnout could be. You made me feel less alone when I truly need it. Thank you Orion 💙
As someone with autism I often experience burnout like you. I thought this was something related to depression as I'm also diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My parents also think the same. I didn't know there was such thing as autistic burnout. I just thought it was my depression making me feel too burnt out to be able to cope with stuff. You have explained it perfectly. For me it's like my brain has crashed like a computer and needs time to reboot.
I am struggling with a bunch of stuff right now, and my partner made me realize that I might have some level of autism. Your videos are so helpful with understanding more about autism as an adult.
Thanks so much for sharing these videos!
thank you. I am an aspie too. I feel less alone with your sharing. I can totally relate. I have autistic burn out now. I'm so tired.
thanks for all that uou do for us autistics ! From the botton of my heart, thanks a lot Orion!! Greatings from Argentina
Have had a (maybe, hopefully) life-changing experience of acceptance to this video tonight. Ive felt like this exactly, for over a year or so if its even possible. Before that i have been struggling all my grown-up life. But after my father passed away a year ago, then worn out from education and exhaustion and having 3 small kids with diagnoses, this year was like living constantly overheated and crying. Ive been talking to a therapist who has been trying to get me to accept that i cant go on like this. But shame, norms of childhood upbringing and society have held me from accepting my difficulties fully.
When every word in this video was exactly what i have been feeling i finaly feel that i can let go, and it will be easier from now on.
Because knowing that Im actually pretty ill today, and seeing this guy happy after having what im having, i know now theres a way out if i let go.
And i have been searching for that way for maybe 20 years or more, Im 44 now. I have ADD and GAD, might be autistic as well, my father surely was.
But thanks for this, i relly needed it and i really believe that tomorrow will be different.
Thank you so much for this explanation. I wish we could get employers to understand.
It sure is difficult. Organizing my life so that it is as simple, quiet and stable as is possible is good. Fallout from noise, change and the unexpected takes time. 'Accept the things we cannot change one day at a time' has also helped me immensly.
God bless you, Orion.
During exam 'season' I'd be sitting with my fingers in my hair constantly. My partner would always joke about the weird 'learning hair' I'd get because I would be gently pulling it for hours, until it stayed that way in the evening. It just helped to stay focused. Fun times.
I'm 42 years old, married with a child and the last couple of years I've been really thinking a lot about whether or not I could be autistic. I've always felt as though I was a bit odd, not incredibly so but just like I'm a step or two out of sync with the world in general. Social interaction has always been a challenge for me and I feel like it was always just a skill I didn't happen to pick up as I was developing as a child. My parents always mention that I spent a lot of time around adults so they thought that's why I related better to more grown-up conversation than with my own peers but to be honest I've just always been horribly uninterested in what most people talk about. Even as an adult I find most conversations to be horribly inane and largely pointless. Gossiping about pop culture or professional sports just seems pointless in the grand scheme of things to me when there are so many more fascinating aspects of existence that one could be using their mind to think about. I've been told that I'm someone who in essence feels the need to explain a joke or a concept and dissect it to an unnecessary degree. But it's odd to me to think the one can just go through life without trying to understand what the nature of existence is. My daughter, who I think is thankfully neurotypical isn't interested in makeup of things or understanding why something is the way it is, she's just satisfied that it is. That is such an odd concept to me. Now listening to some of these videos I'm starting to believe that not only am I on the spectrum but I believe my 70-year-old father is as well I don't think I could ever broach the subject to him because his generation did and doesn't really buy into many aspects of psychoanalysis. But some of the idiosyncratic processes I remember seeing my father engage in as a child just rings so true to this.
This is incredibly insightful. I never knew what echolalia was. I used to repeat the dumbest quotes from movies in my head non stop and i that i was such a freak. It was usually part of my ocd tick that i never really acknowledged. I also pick my nails to the point of bleeding without knowing.
THANK YOU SO MUCH ORION ❤️🩹🌈
Just found you & subbed! thank you for sharing your experience. I'm still undiagnosed but doing deep dives into learning more about myself from the autistic perspective. Definitely resonate with this video. Look forward to more.
That’s great too hear Molly. Thanks so much.
Thank you for helping me understand the asd people in my life whom I love.
Thank you so much, I'm 28 and found out I had Autism with my ADHD at age 25 and I really feel like recently I been feeling so exhausted physically to the point I just want to rest, so this video really help me have a understanding of burnouts in a sense.
That part about echolalia really hit home. I do that so much and always just chalked it up to me being weird. I've never heard anyone else describe it this way. Imhonestly thinking that maybe I've been living undiagnosed. The situations you describe are exactly the way I experience them and I've always assumed there was something wrong with my personality. Always end up feeling like no one really understands me and they only tolerate me rather than enjoy being around me. I've honestly struggled with these issues to the point of having thoughts of suicide. The burnout is something I have ed experienced many times and never understood why it happened, why the meltdowns happened, why I couldn't stop myself from repeating the cycle. Your videos have opened my eyes to the reality that I may be dealing with more than just things that are "normal" for everyone. I've always felt that stress affects me more than th hose around me, the powerful emotions that switch randomly like manic depressive mood swings, taking things the wrong way and that leading g to meltdowns. I've had suspicions for years, but never heard anyone explain it the way you do. So I thought " na you're just being a wimp, man up." But you describe EXCTLY what I feel and experience. I hope you can understand how amazing that makes me feel.... to have an answer for a lifetime of difficulty.👍😞💯
I have been in talks with my Mental Health Dr to be tested for ADHD and ASD. And after watching this video I am so glad that I asked about it. Because for many of my 45 years I have thought that I have been Stress Sick. But I don't remember not feeling like you have described here. Thank you.
thank you. the mother of my children, who hasn’t had a diagnosis but who says she is on the spectrum, had burnout often during the early years. I had never joined the dots until now.
😢😢😢❤❤❤❤😅 thank you orian i really respect and praise your explaining of all these issues to the non austic community so that they understand you alot better! Thank you so much buddy!❤❤❤
I'm learning so much from you! I am NT w/ a desire to understand those around me and special to me.
That was the best video I’ve watched so far since I’ve started to think I have autism. It made so much sense. You explained it so well and really put it in the context of ‘real life’ - I am also a partner and a parent . It’s really really helped me. I’m going to show this to my partner to help him understand what’s going on with me.
There was a time where I was by myself and I basically fell into Decay, that's what I called it. I barely ate, slept, and didn't even go to work. I didn't write or anything and I kept saying that I was burned out and tired.
That was a very helpful talk. I don't think I am autistic, but my mind got screwed up almost 50 years ago. I was studying a lot of heavy science and math courses and was very depressed. I had to drop out of college. Since then I still like to think and write, but I will get extremely fatigued and depressed. I got sick because of burnout. But you discussed the subject very calmly, compassionately and understand the subject. Orion thank you and God bless you.
9/10 video Orion (I never give 10s) navigating this at the moment, in terms of how to recover from it from the onset so it doesn't go long term. This vid helps so much and hope to share at some point :)
Spot on with the description of burnout. The quoting songs. Films and TV shows made me laugh. As I do that when approaching burnout. Haven't heard anyone explainng it before.
Thank you! I've been in a burnout for about two years with a few moments of enjoying nature and drinking.
My teachers would say I was digits in grade school. I could be very busy doing nothing!! Playing with things in my desk, buttons on my clothes, my hair etc…
Thank you again for your videos, they help me very, very much. Bless you and your family.
This video erased all my doubts about being autistic…
Wow. Best description I've heard so far. Thank you.
Brilliant video thx you Orion, I am in Autistic Burnout at the moment myself. similar expereince to you, with speech sometimes It comes out not right, or in fragments etc along with sometimes not being able to get words out. I only got diagnoised with Autism this year at age 27 at the time im 28 now
Listening to you explain makes it sound like the kind of burnout anyone can experience and that AIN’T it. It is a different level of burnout that there is nothing simple about, as it runs very deep and is extremely debilitating. It is the constant bombardment of all the things that disturb us deeply and not being able to escape long enough to heal. It is the people who SHOULD know you but don’t respect you enough to truly understand you and they treat you like you are without emotion or like you aren’t the least bit different than any other low functioning neurotypical. Never having any quiet time, being relentlessly asked a million questions, loud environment with loads of triggers regardless of how you explain yourself. Or, working in the public field that tells you that you must conform and you must grin and bear it like all good robots do along with an attitude of ruthlessness that society deems as ‘necessary to survive’ but chisels away at your soul. And never having the time to do the things that you are very interested in because of responsibilities that everyone heaps on you because your mask falsely make you super human. Burnout feels like the edges of your soul are raw from being singed with so much noisy input from a world so laden with distractions that they no longer understand what it means to be a real person. It is NOT US that causes this burnout..it is the world we live in that has crippled our magnificence and our value. They cripple us so that we look and function like they do so that THEY can feel “NORMAL”. At our prime we are the very glue that holds society together.
A lot of us could never deal with the obligations of having a spouse and children, so good on you. From the time I was a kid, I knew that marriage and kids would have felt like a prison from which I could never escape. As a senior woman, people must think I'm a loser because I don't have the social currency that a husband, children, an grandchildren give you. But there is no way I could function with others making demands of me on a regular basis. Even now, a friend is ghosting me because I had the audacity to decline his company for an extra 2 hours on a Saturday beyond our scheduled lunch and coffee. I may have to kick him to the curb, even though he's the only friend I have right now - so sad. I must do what I need to do when I need to do it, or I will become overwhelmed.
I totally understand you Mr. Kelly. We are the same kind of human.
Spot on 🙌👍💯
You can't just unbreak your leg. You have to heal from it. Yes you can't just sit around avoid responsibilities, but at the same time you can't just snap your fingers and the leg is healed. We ourselves need to lower expectations of ourselves, but also everyone around us needs to lower expectations too when we're burned out. It is what it is.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I am 60 now diagnosed One year ago and I remember dealing well with this as a kid going to my room and crying and staring at a wall and playing with the tears on my skin then falling asleep. Now life is far more complex maybe I still should do this for myself.
These videos are like therapy to me..😔🙏
Thank you Orion. I have had comorbid severe OCD all my life - I’m now 76. It seems that lots of autistic traits are shared with my OCD; I’m sure I also have PTSD as a result of having to interact with toxic people who don’t want to understand. Over the last few years I have been unable to do the hobbies I previously enjoyed. I live alone, housebound because of heart disease on top of everything and have to sleep every few hours. Your videos really help, but I just wish my NT aqaintencies and my children would take some time to listen to you and to read up on autism/OCD. It has been suggested that autism is a normal evolutionary process of neuroplasticity to deal with the complicated world we are forced to live in. Thank you Orion :)
Wow! I do many of these things. Lately what happened is that I made several careless mistakes at work and I felt like my manager was annoyed with me. So I was being very hard on myself. I felt near tears for a week, very sad, very discouraged, and very negative. I called in to work one day and then I had so much anxiety about going back. I made a huge deal about it with my managers at work. Is rejection sensitivity common in autism because I know it happens in ADHD? I have been diagnosed ADHD, but self diagnose as autistic.
Since nobody has replied to this, according to all the TH-cam that I have watched, you can have it simultaniusly, comorbidly. Weather it stems from your autism or adhd, will be up to your own studies of the subject or some very thorough diagnosing I guess. I think I got both the asd and adhd as well, without the hyper activity. And I guess that is the explanation that I rather watch documentaries and TH-cam like this than read, even though I read well and is not mathematical. I struggle to get a clear formal diagnosis to anything I struggle with despite living in a country that is famed for good free healthcare. Best wishes from Denmark 👍
AuDHD is a battle with itself. Burnout, bored, burnout, bored, burnout, bored... Then add in everything else, heh.
Your awesome 👍🏻😎 very good at explaining and you are a great talker, presenter , creative and a joy to watch , peace 🕊️ from UK , another neuro divergent here 😊
Goosebumps. Tears. Love.
(Wanna say a lot more, can‘t get the words out, but I‘m sure you know …)
My GOSH this is my life of exhaustion! My gosh my entire life is making more sense. Finally. 😭😭😭
I'm in my 50's. My melt downs in my childhood felt like I was being pushed off the edge of a cliff. Then the tears, hyperventilating windmilling of the arms mumbling nonsense, huffing out just fuck all.. Because a bad memory popped up and someone says "What's wrong?" But as they asked I get a mental rock in my neck and am incapable of saying why im freaking out. Still happens. As I am learning why, it does give me the ability or courage or capacity to know I need to express it, weird as my shit is. I have grandkids with the same problem now, so it is imperative for me now to share my experience so my kids know how to better manage their interactions with their children. The worst thing is I need to help the grandkids themselves, but I lack the capacity to connect.