It hit hard for me too just because “ I’m in her place right now” not in the hospital but feelings those emotions. For the first time in my life I hear and see someone exact has those EXACT FEELINGS I HAVE.
@@crazyayana14 it will get better. I am in kind of depressive spiral right now but I have hope that I will start feeling better here soon. I also have hope for you as well 🥰 I find it useful to focus on the little things like puffy clouds, yummy tea, a good book, or whatever makes you feel happiness. Know that there are people out there in the world that care about you, even if they have never met you. I hope you start feeling better very soon 💕
This made me cry. There have been times in my life where I’ve just wanted it all to stop but I pressed on. But my daughter developed PTSD after a sexual assault and tried to pretend she was ok. Until one day she came to me and said she needed help, because she wanted to die. She didn’t want to cause her family pain but her pain was so extreme that she couldn’t handle it anymore. I told her how much I loved her and then we agreed to go to the hospital. She spent 2 weeks in the psych ward and is doing much better today but sometimes you just need help and you should be able to ask for it.
As a daughter, I have to tell you how amazing you are for getting your daughter help. I often try to tell my mother I need help, or need medication and she believes it’s all in my mind. I will get better with meditation and positive thinking. Every time she tells me this, I just want to cry and I feel like I hate her. You are so strong for helping your daughter and by not being in denial. Thank you for being an awesome mom!
@@mariepearce6730 I'm sorry this is happening. I wish everyone could understand that mental health is as crucial to maintain as physical health. Even if a health problem is "just in the mind," that doesn't mean it isn't REAL and can be ignored without serious consequences. Hope you can get the help you need. ♥️
I get it but even though I haven’t been in that position where I go to the psych ward I can simply say that sexual assault is real y’all. I went through something similar at age between 3-4. I think I blocked myself that I can talk about it like nothing happened or if it doesn’t bother me. It sucks and it’s an addition to many other things you’re already going through or already have gone through. For me it’s hard to find inspiration motivation and willpower to change, fully accept compliments and take them to heart in a good way, to forgive and forget other including myself. I’m a people pleaser over pleasing myself.
This might sound cheesy but I was really moved by this episode, it’s inspired me to realize that I deserve help, I reached out to a therapy clinic about making an appointment
Her explanation of why she doesn't want to get help is exactly my experience. My parents were exactly the same. I didn't want to feel that way anymore so I went anyway behind their back. Thankfully, I live in a country where I don't have the same struggles to find and get help as in the US. I finally figured out what was going on and I'm getting treated for it. My parents still don't accept it but I need to do what's best for me.
In the US sometimes there’s a struggle to find help, but trust me a lot of providers here do push their patrons seek help from a therapist or a psychiatrist. A lot of my patients have one or the other. It just takes some time to find the right therapist who fits your needs.
Your parents are so against the idea of depression and therapy bc they probably see it as a failure on them. That they weren’t good enough parents. That’s on them, not you. Good for you, sending good thoughts your way! ❤
Parents need to stop putting so much pressure on their kids. School was actually harder for me than work. A lot of parents don’t understand and don’t like discussing negative things but as a parent, you are there to support your kids not just physically but emotionally.
Absolutely agree. My parents always say “I’d rather go back to school than ever do work”, but being in school is so hard. In person there is bullying and constant stress of forgetting things because if you forget one paper you get whatever% off the actual grade and you don’t get any sleep because you’re stressing over grades and tests and waking up on time and you’re exhausted.. But I’ve had jobs before. Not much, but still! I’ve worked in animal shelters and heard many stories about work from other people-there aren’t grades, you don’t have to stress about tests, none of that. You just have to do your job. Of course, there are more stressful jobs out there, but still! School causes stress like no other, and can really take a toll-if your parents are disappointed in you for getting stressed or depressed, thats on them. They should be there for you! They brought you into this world and now have a responsibility-care about your kid, because they wont succeed without that help!
@@caramelcopcat Agreed. And you don’t even get paid for the stress school brings you. At least you get paid when you work and have some independence. I also don’t like how parents complain kids are expensive in front of their kids and guilt trip kids for existing. It’s not the kids fault. Why don’t you think about how expensive kids are before you have them? Stop treating your kids like something to use/ show-off or a retirement plan.
@@caramelcopcat truthfully and honest with u my mom still wants me go back to school after i graduated i refuse she won't even let me get a job because she believes my job coach over me
I remember when I told my parents I was depressed. Their first reaction was to tell me how fantastic my life was. Their second reaction was to guilt me with how it was making them feel. Their third reaction was to angrily shout at me and call me ungrateful. After that my teen years became 10x worse. Any time I was even slightly mopey around them they'd immediately start yelling at me to smile and have a positive attitude. They also began to track any time I spent away from the house and routinely tell me I couldn't go out. If I came home late from something my mother would be in hysterics, furiously saying how afraid she was I killed myself. I realize they must have been pretty profoundly mentally ill themselves to behave like that but now as I near turning 30, after spending my 20s dealing with addiction and self harming the second I was out from under their watchful eyes (and yes a few not-alive attempts) I'm positive I'll never see them again unless I'm forced to by something important.
Mine told me i was exagerating and that others have it worse and i just need to auto educate myself... i just ignored them and went to therapy ,even now they say i'm exegerating
My dad told me my anxiety & depression were all in my head. I told him, "Duh." He never understood any of it, never really tried to help by joining in family therapy, but he worried a lot and my parents spent thousands on mental health when insurance didn't cover something. He didn't think I was making things up, he just didn't get it and I admit it was hard to explain a lot of what I felt because I didn't understand myself sometimes. It's all super frustrating because later he admitted he was depressed but he did nothing to try and fix it. IDK. It does help to know I'm not the only one that had dealt with this kind of issue. I wish I'd known that better when I was young.
@@shurinhaha Later on, my mother suffered from depression because she had severe scoliosis, Parkinson's, and things were just going badly. She told me she finely understood and while I appreciated that, I'm sad she had to deal with that and her poor health.
Gator hator: I absolutely felt your comment I grew up exactly like you described. It was very unbearable and I couldn’t only a 100 on my exams , idk if it’s just an Asian stigma or not but those of us who grew up with parents like this and where over achieving was pressured , I believe these kinds of people should not have children. I look at my own children who do sometimes struggle. I can’t even imagine being like that towards them . How we’re we put through that is crazy !
As a Pakistani born person I can feel her pain on a very personal level, first we fear what our community will say, what our family will say, second we feel this constant need to pretend like everything is okay when in reality, as she said, it's hard getting out of bed in the morning and remembering all the responsibilities and expectations that are put on us to be our best selves... This whole dialog of, "What will people say" , and "I don't wanna disappoint my family" is imbedded into our brains at a very young age... It makes us feel worthless and useless because we can't be our true selves... Depression is normal, just because some people see is as a sign of weakness doesn't mean that that's all it is... People hurt themselves, take their own lives because they have no one to talk to...
same, im pakistani too and it sucks to know that there's no easy way to leave that community. if i be myself as an lgbtq person, it'll put a bad image on my parents and they will berate me. if i run away, it'll put a bad image on my parents and my mom will get very depressed. if i don't be myself, i'll never be happy. i'm still not sure how i'll leave but hopefully i'll figure it out. it sucks to have such a great effect on a community
I'm indian and this is exactly what happens. Its drilled into our heads from such a young age. It's always about what other people think, even at the expense of our mental health
This is me, I'm currently unable to sleep and function and I've bought sleeping pills secretly and take them before bed to cope. If my parents found out, they would make it into such a big deal like I'm doing something illegal.
I'm from a white family and my mother is the same way. Doesn't believe in therapy. Doesn't believe in "bringing up the past". Denies anything is wrong with me despite being diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with chronic PTSD from childhood trauma. This mother accepting her daughter needs help hit me hard. I hope this is what the future holds and not just fiction for most people.
I was in a very similar situation as her. I had therapy sessions in secret so my family wouldn't find out. If they did, I'd be labeled as crazy. In the Vietnamese community, (or mine, at least) Anyone who goes to a mental health professional is deemed crazy, and rumors spread about you and your family, like it's wild fire. I was terrified of being judged, or abandoned by my own family. It came to a point where I had to choose between my family, or my health/happiness. Everyone kept saying that I am better off just leaving and never seeing them again, but I refused because they are my family, and they raised me. It's all I ever knew. Me leaving felt like I tore my arm off. I was scared that if I couldn't handle being on my own, I'd have to go back home and face the consequences. Fortunately, me leaving was a wake up call to them, and they began treating me better. We still talk frequently, and I come to visit. But we agreed, I'd never go back and live there ever again.
Hi, I am glad you feel better, you are a humble gorgeous unique human being. DO NOT GIVE UP love yourself. I will pray, ask our creator to keep you under his wings. Thank you for expressing your feeling's, it will get better, even if you fail...stand up again, start again and again NEVER NEVER GIVE UP ok 💐💞
As a Vietnamese person, I agree with you. My mom told me that people who are treated for depression, suicidal idealization, and/or other kinds of mental illnesses would be denied access to universities and can't get a job. That stuff isn't true. A school staff member at my high school had to lecture her about the truth and that her views were very ableist.
Daft question and I don't mean to upset anyone, but how would the wider community find out if you went for therapy? You or your parents wouldn't exactly trumpet this around the neighborhood would you, and the fact that you had therapy in secret shows that it can be done without anyone finding out. It's like a girl going to a gynecologist - you wouldn't exactly spread that around the neighborhood either. In the West people tell everyone because it's like a badge of honor now to have therapy or be on medication for depression, but if you keep quiet about it - how could anyone find out? Or is the patient confidentiality not that great in nVietnam, or would your parents tell all the relatives? For some jobs you might have to declare your medical history though when you apply for them, so be aware of that. Anything that involves responsibility for other people's lives, such as pilot or professional driver etc, at least here in the West they check one's medical history and if one has ever had therapy, one doesn't get accepted for such jobs.
If you have driven your child to the point of clearly believing that you will hate them or think they are weak or spewing family secrets because they are mentally ill or not in the right place? To the point that you care more for your status and image over your own child's health and happiness? You failed as a parent. And you need to work on that before it's too late.
That was my mom. When I first started therapy telling secrets and lies about the family. But deep down inside she knew I need help before things got worse and she let me get the help I needed . She’s seen an improvement not only in my behavior/general mood but how I traverse this world and our relationship. Before we couldn’t talk to each other without fighting now, we can talk to each other with civility
“I have a good life, I shouldn’t have depression”. This was the exact thinking that kept me from believing I could have depression. It took someone telling me that it doesn’t have to have a reason to realize I needed to go get help
"She won't -- love me the same." This girl is correct to think this way. When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in college (then called manic depressive disorder), my parents treated me even worse than before we knew exactly what my problem was. Everything I did and said was scrutinized under the microscope of "It must be because of their mental illness", and if I didn't follow every little order they gave, it was automatically, "Have you taken your meds today?" I accept that there are actually understanding, genuinely loving, and caring parents out there . . . but some of us didn't or don't have them. I fully understand her reluctance, because I went through what she feared the most -- to become an embarrassment to her parents -- someone to shun and hide from the world. A failure of their own making. Sometimes seeking help becomes a worse hell than the disorder.
I can relate. My family doesn't treat me the same since my diagnosis. I don't think they understand mental illness, my grandparents sorta just expect me to figure it out myself. I get care in the form of a conversation about "doing things".. I have to do this, go do that, make practical steps. Get help for myself, make a dozen life changes, if I hate the situation just get out of it. Stop doing it. Do something. Sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming it's not possible to 'do things.' Sometimes I just need someone to calm me down, be there, check up on me, communicate, be present regularly and available habitually, not just when I'm falling apart. And that isn't ... I think the emotional upset scared them off. I think they don't care about me, so much as I'm their grandaughter and they should care.
The way she said 'I need help' absolutely broke me. Made me cry instantly. I've been suffering from depression since i was 16, i'm now 23 . I'm much better now but it took me too long to ask for help. Even now i don’t know if it was because i was ashamed because i 'didn’t have a reason to feel depressed', scared of my parents reactions, or because i had too much pride to ask for help. or maybe it was all of the above. But like i said i feel a bit better now but i wish i had the strength to ask for help earlier.
This made me all misty-eyed. I have clinical depression and usually, I just try to tough it out. But there are days when I just feel like it would be better if I just died and that I wouldn't be such an annoyance to people if I wasn't around. It's tough to admit that you need help because you think people would judge you. I finally decided to seek therapy and get medication for it and I've been doing so much better. It's still hard, but I'm not thinking about dying anymore.
The state of mental health care in this country is terrifying. After the way I have been treated in a number of different hospitals, I will never ask for help again. Mental patients are treated like they are stupid, they are less than, or they are bad because of their behavior.
It's so weird like they always say get help but I did and therapy did not help me, the meds make me numb ive gained like 100lbs, my doctor only wanted me to go back to work asap and my pay was 70% but I still had all my expenses. There literally was no point, I was better off getting fired at that point! So now I just suck it up and if I get fired so be it.
this really hit me. during my struggle with depression, when i told my parents, i just looked at my dad and said the same thing she did. "I'm sorry, I need help."
I said something similar over the summer. I believe my words were “I want to go to the [mental] hospital” while the actual mental hospital would “be a bad fit” for me according to dad (who I suspect is a narcissist), I did get help and therapy.
Depression makes you think way more complicated… making coffee becomes getting out of bed, going to the kitchen, preparing the maker, making coffee, waiting, and more.
When I was crippled by a panic attack after a series of painful events, the only thing I could think to do was to call my mom. I'm glad I did. She talked me down and then did all the legwork to find me a doctor. All I had to do was call to make the appointment. She and my dad helped me through years of ups and downs as I went through treatment for anxiety and depression. Parents, don't make your child's illness about you. Get them the help they need. I'm doing really well now, and my relationship with my mom (my dad passed a few years ago) is very strong.
When she started listing them off, I just felt so much pain because of the truth of it all, the worst times of my day are getting up and trying to go to sleep and I feel so tired all the time.
This just broke me.. Hits hard when you understand the struggle. Thank goodness she’s gonna get help. All who need help, should get the help they need. Always.
Wow, this was rough to watch. My mother ended her life due to depression when I was 15. It was very rough for her I imagine having to raise an autistic kid as a single parent while battling homelessness and addiction at the same time. I blamed myself quite a lot for her death which led to me battling my own depressive thoughts of ending my life and addiction for several years. Being adopted into a very different and abusive environment didn't help either. Neither in my mothers life nor mine so far were we ever able to reach out to other family members as it proved to be very toxic. I'm 20 now and I still struggle with day to day life but I feel myself getting better. Becoming a future father has brought me new meaning to life. I've never spoke to anyone on how I feel but seeing everyone here talk about their journey inspired me to post mine. And hey, to whoever might read this, I'm sorry for what battles you're going through and I hope for you all to overcome them. - A stranger
Everyone should be able to get the proper help they need when it comes to mental health. I went through my worst patch of depression when I lived by myself for the first time last year, and when I was working at my last job I couldn't feel any joy in what I was doing at all even though it was a temporary job. I took more days off than I ever had for a job in my life, and that was why I was fired. I feel that even though your employer doesn't have to consider your mental health, they really should because ultimately if they don't have employees that can function with a healthy mind, they won't be productive and it doesn't make it any better. People always say mental issues are in your head or for attention or that it'll go away eventually when you get used to it, and those kinds of comments fill me with rage and disgust because my own depression and anxiety hinders my life as it does for many others. Learning to handle something a bit better with treatment isn't the same as "it'll go away" or anything like that. These are real problems that people suffer with and people feel like they're not heard or can't tell anyone because of what they think someone else will think about them. It can be a very sensitive topic to speak up about, and I've been there myself because I didn't want to guilt someone with my problems. Take care, seek help, and please speak up about your mental health because you deserve help and love. ♥️
This made me cry. I have severe psychotic depression and psychosis. I needed someone like him when I was a child being abused, witnessing horrific stuff like, being forced to wake up and see my mum almost beaten to death or just battered every night. Because of this I became the same woman my mum was, thinking it was normal I was abused except I protected my kids and kept quiet through everything that happened to me... So they didn't hear me getting hurt bad by their father. I'm 37, 12yrs free from that abuse but I'm left with the damage. I've never recieved any help and only feel emotiinally around my children.
Seeing this comment section with so many stories and shared emotions is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. What makes me sad though, is that there are so many that can no longer share these stories due to stigmas. I genuinely feel inspired to make change in another's life, and I hope others feel the same way.
Annie, I cant speak for other culture but for Cambodian, there is no words to describe Depression, the closest thing i can think of is the word Crazy. Alot of poor countries dont know this, the mean force is to get food, stat alive so when living in a best country like USA and having depression (crazy) is just not a thing, cant be. Just how the parents/older gen is. Im speaking from first hand experiences. 🙂
I was days away from unaliving myself, (a few years ago, i am doing okay these days) and i did a last ditch desperate cry for help, after years of begging for it. My mother, a genuinely lovely and loving woman finally heard me, and said "I thought you were smarter than that." I did get help, but by the skin of my teeth.
Did anybody else cry? She listed the things she had to do but couldn't find the motivation to because it wasn't worth it. People are telling and asking when I will start driving, I tell them, "It's personal", when it's more than that. Imagining it as a way to end myself because of the panic/anxiety attack, the how I can't do one simple thing when kids my age can't wait to learn and have their own car, burdening my family to take me to work because I'm so scared to drive anywhere or even sit at the wheel because of the pressure around me, lying awake at night thinking a million things I can't do, and just wondering if I fall asleep forever will it finally stop? (Crying while I'm writing this)
From a Filipino family, and this clip close to home. I’ve been fortunate though to have a supportive mom who does understand because of her work in mental health. Dad does his best, but can’t really wrap his mind around it. I realize my experience is more of an exception than norm. I wish that didn’t have to be the case.
I remember that one day in University, I was very stressed because of an assignment and a job I had that time. No one understood my situation and all day I felt like on the edge of crying. How ironic, that the topic we covered touched on mental health. The assignment for that class was due on that day and I couldn’t get myself to do it so after class, I talked to my lecturer, and I immediately started crying. I was crying out for help but he didn’t notice. I told him about everything and he still didn’t get it. He told me that I shouldn’t be this upset and that I should put some makeup on and fix my hair to look nicer. I was crying out for help and through all the lecturers I had, I felt like he would have been the one to notice any signs. He never did and I will remember that conversation for the rest of my life.
Out of no where THE MOMENT she started to describe her depression tears were already going, because i knew the moment they mentioned not getting out of bed was to real for me that i wish my parents could understand that its not about resposibilty or time that helps our depression its relief of being understood.
Oh man. This was done really well. One of those things that gives you words you wish you had earlier, sums up a lot of common feelings. And I really like “We all need help”, perfect line.
as someone who is going through a traumatic life event my depression has gotten overwhelmingly worse....this girl did a great job portraying what depression is like.
I feel her on a level I can’t explain. My father is someone I’m afraid to even ask for help because I’m so used to being told “it’s an excuse” by him and the arguments are not even worth my mentality anymore to reason with him. It hurts, not just a pinch. A whole truck.
I felt for the girl, because she was unhappy, depressed, stressed, and she was afraid her parents would know. The Indian doctor told his colleagues it's about shame and that's very true. And finally the mother showed she understond and loved her daughter. The love was so clear here. My sister was adopted from South Korea and it's the same with her. She's not depressed at the moment, but she has that sense of general shame about not knowing things so either she pretends to know or she keeps insisting a wrong thing is wright. She simply cannot admit she is wrong about something.
As a mental health professional and a person diagnosed with major depression this is such an accurate depiction of depression..almost brought me to tears when she explained how it felt and when she communicated her needs to her mother. Well done 👍
Cognitive distortions are a really hard thing to cope with. Her mother still loved her the same. She just needed to understand the help her daughter needed.
In real life cps would have been called asap but it's a nice representation of how hard it is to go against family and culture in regards of mental health
i’ll always be grateful to my parents. the second i told them something was wrong, they immediately got me therapy and are still there every step of my recovery. they pay my therapy, drive me to all my appointments, pick up my medication, support me, and they just worry. they’re involved in my therapy and in my progress goals. they support me in every way they know and they’re understanding when my moods cause me to lash out at anyone standing near me. i’ve improved so much because of them.
At 19, I was placed on a 51/50 but I was in the hospital before being transferred because I tried to OD. In the hospital, nobody talked to me and a security guard sat near the door and guarded me like a prisoner. I also had no insurance and they transferred me via ambulance in the middle of the night. My hospital bills came out to be over 15k. My poor parents. I learned to never tell anyone about my problems or thoughts ever again after this.
“Our children aren’t perfect, and why should they be. We are not.” Compassion is a two way street. People have to remember, it was not the children’s decision to be born it’s yours. The children are taken care of when they are growing, and the parents are taken care of when the children are grown. “We all need help.”
I totally understand this. In my country that's still new in the process of accepting mental health, a lot of people are afraid to seek help even when they need it because others say they're just overreacting.
This hit hard for me , I was there at one point and everything portrayed was exactly how I felt. Years have passed and I finally talked to my parents. Now I look back and realize how dark it was back then. I've come long away and realize that i can't be perfect cause no is perfect. To accept myself and that it's okay to ask for help.
Parents came from the Philippines. I was born in Canada. Growing up they always hinted towards the typical doctor and lawyer career. It was never my thing so I went to college taking construction engineering and management and now I'm a union carpenter with my own side business and never regretted my decision. They eventually stopped pushing towards the other careers after I started taking care of them and some bills. Im not perfect but I put in the work and they were happy because I was happy.
I just had to withdraw from college for the semester because of an autoimmune disorder that manifested as severe fatigue and depressive affect. I wanted to solve it myself so badly that I cut myself off from everyone for about 7 months. I wanted to end my existence. But my parents threatened to fly down to school until I told them why I wasn’t talking to them. Despite the fact that I know that mental health is a valid reason for getting help, I kept apologizing for having to get help. I felt so much relief when I found out that my problems were largely due to my physical disease. I fully understand the shame surrounding mental health because even though my family is filled with mental health advocates, I was worried that I would disappoint them because I was suffering. I’m now getting treatment for my disease and going back to therapy for my anxiety.
I am a living failure and burden, so I don't feel like I deserve help, but for the last years, I have been depressed. My situation is so similar to this girl because of how much I am afraid of my parents. I wish I could get help as she did, but if I attempt, my parents will destroy me more.
You are NOT a failure or a burden! This might be hard to accept but sometimes we have to choose to distance from toxic family members in order to avoid being poisoned ourselves.
This is honestly my comfort clip, it reminds me that we all deserve help and to be healthy and that there is nothing wrong or shameful about asking for it because those who truly love you will stand by your side every step of the way
I cried because I know first hand how it feels, to be admitted in a phyco ward and still not get the help that I needed only to be fed pills that prevented me from being human. I wouldn't wish that on anyone
Me too psych wards don’t help anybody they just feed people pills and make them traumatize it only made me trust the mental health care system less a lot less
My family is similar I can’t talk about my antidepressants or therapy without them saying “why are you depressed your doing so well in life” “you shouldn’t rely on medication, it isn’t healthy”
I still remember the day i told my parents i need help with my mental health. Luckily enough i caught my mom in a very fragile state when it comes to the subject of therapy, because some friend of her told her stories about people who didn't go to therapy and ended commiting all kinds of things. It was hard, my parents tried to help me first, before letting me into therapy. And that's pretty nice, but having no experience with this they were just pouring salt on the wound. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and moderate sociophobia, so sure enough, mom telling me that in the and we all die at some point (in the moments when i was having a monstrous anxiety attack) or telling me that she doesn't understand how come i feel bad, i just have to appreciate life more just made me seek out a therapist as soon as possible.
Depression can hit anyone and it doesn't need a reason. It doesn't discriminate, it doesn't care about who you are and it will try to steal your life. Get therapy and kick its ass!
Thanks. This is actually what happened to me after my pathetic attempt. It’s something that could never really be put into words to be understood by other people. That feeling. The desperation and the knowing that you’re being illogical and being helpless against your mind
As someone that deals with major depressive disorder, I’ve reached out for help over and over again, all with no success. I’ve been hospitalized many times because of suicide attempts, had ECT, dealt with so many social workers, doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists that actually don’t care. Even though the stigma of mental health issues is alive and well in society, it’s even worse in the medical community. Honestly, asking for and getting help are two different things. After years of failed requests for help, I’ve accepted the fact that I have to deal with this alone. A sad but true situation.
1:45 this happened to me and my mom didnt want me to go to therapy because she said i would be crazy im sorry to whoever is going through this and have people in their life who dont understand
My dad has been diagnosed but my mom says that mental illness isn’t real, so even though my dad thought I had depression I could never get therapy. Now that I’m off my mom’s insurance I’m still too scared to go to therapy to see if I have anything.
GO! Do NOT let someone else's delusions stop you from getting help. Dont let her hang-ups become yours. The brain is an organ and like any organ it can malfunction and need treatment to get back on track. Older generations need to grow up and accept reality.
i remember that for the past four years of my life, my thoughts have been exactly like that. I finally decided to get help. I had believed that because i had a loving family, a good financial situation and essentially a perfect harmonized lifestyle that i had no right to be depressed, and that it was pathetic of me to think like that. But, I'm human, and i realized that as a human, i have every right to my thoughts, my emotions and my suffering. I'm now in a better place, i also have meds to help with my anxiety and depression. It lowkey makes me feel numb, and i do sometimes feel like a burden or pathetic for needing medication and therapy, but it's working, and I'm slowly becoming human again. I'm slowly staring to not just be alive, but rather to live. I painted again yesterday for the first time in years, and it felt really nice.
In reality, I have never met a doctor that would take the time to talk to the patient for more than a few minutes, much less just listen to the patient, even when they held me over night, thinking I was suicidal.
I remember being in this situation with my own mom. I thought she wouldn’t understand. But then one night as we were talking about my issues she asked me, “Do you think you might be depressed?” I broke down. She took me to a psychiatrist and therapist and got me on medication that helped. She is always the first person to know when I’m in a bad place. I love my mom ❤
I lost my mom a year ago. She struggled with depression, and she saw me going downhill. She drove to my college campus one day to meet up with me and pretty much force me to go see the counselor. And she supported me through eventually seeing a psychiatrist and getting on antidepressants. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my mom before that, and the meds made me feel totally different about it. I miss her so much.
Well you can tell mom understands that Amy needs help, but because of cultural stigma she had to take time to accept the truth. It's not easy to admit that your child needs mental health, let alone that you may have unintentionally caused your child to attempt s*icide because of pressure.
I am so thankful that I have such supportive parents who have helped me through my mental health journey. They took me to a group home to get therapy, they took care of me when I was so depressed I couldn’t care for my basic needs and they pay for some of my bills since I can’t work enough to support myself. I would not be here if it wasn’t for my parents.
There is no treatment for depression.. just things that can temporarily help us. Meds and therapy. Otherwise if there was "treatable" we wont have to use any of those things
We need to let go of the stigma around mental health. It’s 2023 and people need to wake tf up and realize mental health is real! Honesty people do more harm than good by ignoring mental health. I always talk to my mom about my depressive episodes and my anxiety. She has been open with me about her anxiety and my dad’s depression. I hope that one everyone can be open like me and my mom are. I definitely think we are getting to that point especially since there are so many social media platforms. Most of the population is struggling with anxiety and depression especially since the pandemic started.
I know it's just a show, but she was lucky. I was in a similar situation and my mother reacted exactly the way that girl was afraid would happen. My mother cried saying what would the neighbours think, what would the doctors think, that everyone would say she was a bad mother, that I was stupid and weak etc. etc. etc. I've had clinical depression since I was a teenager and I'm 62 now. It will never go away, but could have been helped if only my mother had cared about me and not only about herself.
This made me cry. I was raised in a family that didn't believe in mental health issues, or they were just seeking more attention. I am bi polar with rapid cycling. I so wish my parents could have learned it is true so I could have gotten help so much younger.
Having come from a very similar background I understand this pressure. Luckily I've learned to manage it as I got older, but Ive seen how it affects others who have it worse. If only it's this easy for families to accept this as a problem that can be resolved, but the difference in culture can be tragically steep...
Our parents don't want to listen to us, listen to what we feel. They always think and say that they are always right. My sister, brother and me are angry to our father because he bullies us, verbally. That hurts me so much to hear the words he is saying about my siblings. Therefore, you can see in our actions that we always distance ourselves from him and don't respond normally and comfortably to whatever he says. They called our actions and they get angry at us. How will they know the reason why we are acting like this if they dont even want to listen to us? To listen to feelings, our side, our thoughts? I suffered anxiety for almost 6 years and just 3 years ago, I was a happy that I can finally overcome anxiety but now, it came back. So does the thoughts. The only thing that we want for our parents to do for us RIGHT NOW is to LISTEN to us and UNDERTSAND and LOWER THEIR PRIDE. Because based on their reactions when we are asking them to listen to us, what they understand in the word "LISTEN" is that we are giving them lessons, that we reprimand them WHICH IS NOT TRUE, we just want our voice and feelings to be heard. Then, our father wants us to say sorry to him. Are we the only one and are we the one who made mistake in the first place? If only he doesnt say such things that are degrading, talking about our past mistakes again behind our backs, judging us, and saying bad things as if we don't exist - YES WE HEAR THEM, AND WE HAVE FEELINGS, WE GET HURT, WE GET ANGRY. But because of their pride, and how super high they see about their role as parents, they won't even recognize, realize, and accept their mistakes. We are not perfect, NO ONE IS. Yes, in the country I lived there is this toxic culture - us, who are younger than them, have no right to say something because if we do, they are considering it as "talking back at them". PLEASE LISTEN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. One thing I observed about my parents (YES, BOTH OF THEM) is that they don't care about mental health problems. Well, they only care about themselves. Just because you don't experience any mental health problems, doesnt mean that you should neglect it, that you should take it as a joke. Why? Did you ever LISTEN? Calling out to all parents to please take good care of your children, and give them enough love and support. Don't be there for them just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. Sending love to all❣️
I said the same thing about being on my parents insurance when I was at university. Thankfully I could go to the student health and counseling center, bypassing my folks insurance. Gave me time to figure things out.
When my mom found out from a school counselor that I'd been cutting myself, I remember that night she told me that if I was so depressed I might as well end it there because things were only going to get worse. She doesn't remember it now but I sure as hell do. I had been a bit of a hypochondriac as a kid so she figured I was faking being depressed for attention despite her not knowing it had at that point been going on for 4 years.
First and foremost, if a child tried to commit suicide, she is going inpatient mental health facility. Assuming that the hospital in the show had their own psych facility, they can give therapy there. The parents do not have a say if their child attempted suicide to refuse treatment. After treatment for the initial attempt where she no longer meets inpatient level of care and is discharged, the parents then could technically refuse. I've had many parents threaten (I conduct psych assessments in hospitals) to take their child home after they've seriously harmed themselves or contemplated it with continued ideation and no means to keep safe. We call CPS on those families and file against them if they do continue to try to encourage their children to lie during assessments to seem like they are better when they are not. It is not ethical to encourage the kid to lie and defraud the hospital and hold that secret, and lie to their parents about therapy as they are the ones who have to live with their parents and that lie. Yes, getting mh treatment is 100% needed but you cannot hold that responsibility to lie on the kids shoulder
The problem they may not show is maybe in the heat of the moment, a parent who doesn't understand will soften their heart enough to understand and want to help, but in a lot of cases I see and have been through myself, that moment dissaptes and turns back to the way things were as soon as your not crying anymore. Then some day you can cry and it won't even make a difference, in those cases its called psychological abuse...
When i was a jr in high school i made a friend and her parents were like this, didnt trust therapy, didnt believe in mental health. I brought her to my guidance counselor and she helped her family get the help my friend needed. I feel horrible for kids and teens with parents that are like this. Every deserves help
Hello I have autism and I just stared therapy this week I was scared but telling them was the best thing I ever did get help and it is ok to ask for help
I'm 60 and struggling with depressia & anxiety for 30 years. I don't even know why am I taking pills wenn they do not help. Has anybody ever healed depression/anxiety? PLEASE HELP ME. I have a daughter (30 years old, a single mother like I have been) and I' m afraid she's starting to get the same problem. PLEASE HELP US! ANYBODY? 🙏😭
@@steinbock1962 I'm only 14 years old and I'm not in therapy but I have a friend who is and she's my age. She said she went to her local clinic/hospital and the doctor askes her questions. And then the doctor said she'll be needing therapy and her parents had to know. After that she does therapy every week and she said her therapist is really nice. I hope my parents come to a understanding that I need therapy, I want to make sure I have a good mindset because there's still so much I wanna accomplish. I also don't wanna wait so long
If only the health care system was actually like this. Instead we're just asked general questions and given pills. Having gone through a psych ward and had sessions with a therapist. I can safely say we're treated like dead weights.
The "I'm sorry, I need help" hit hard for me.
It hit hard for me too just because “ I’m in her place right now” not in the hospital but feelings those emotions. For the first time in my life I hear and see someone exact has those EXACT FEELINGS I HAVE.
Totally with you on that one. I teared up at the end there myself.
@@crazyayana14 I hope things have gotten better for you 💕
@@missfeisty it hasn’t but thank you for seeking out to see if I am doing okay. That’s very sweet of you, I’m hoping you’re having a good day/night.
@@crazyayana14 it will get better. I am in kind of depressive spiral right now but I have hope that I will start feeling better here soon. I also have hope for you as well 🥰 I find it useful to focus on the little things like puffy clouds, yummy tea, a good book, or whatever makes you feel happiness. Know that there are people out there in the world that care about you, even if they have never met you. I hope you start feeling better very soon 💕
"She won't love me the same. Is there a coping mechanism for that?" that hit me
This made me cry. There have been times in my life where I’ve just wanted it all to stop but I pressed on. But my daughter developed PTSD after a sexual assault and tried to pretend she was ok. Until one day she came to me and said she needed help, because she wanted to die. She didn’t want to cause her family pain but her pain was so extreme that she couldn’t handle it anymore. I told her how much I loved her and then we agreed to go to the hospital. She spent 2 weeks in the psych ward and is doing much better today but sometimes you just need help and you should be able to ask for it.
Thanks for sharing,
I pray things will improve for you and her.
God bless you
As a daughter, I have to tell you how amazing you are for getting your daughter help. I often try to tell my mother I need help, or need medication and she believes it’s all in my mind. I will get better with meditation and positive thinking. Every time she tells me this, I just want to cry and I feel like I hate her. You are so strong for helping your daughter and by not being in denial. Thank you for being an awesome mom!
@@mariepearce6730 I'm sorry this is happening. I wish everyone could understand that mental health is as crucial to maintain as physical health. Even if a health problem is "just in the mind," that doesn't mean it isn't REAL and can be ignored without serious consequences. Hope you can get the help you need. ♥️
I get it but even though I haven’t been in that position where I go to the psych ward I can simply say that sexual assault is real y’all. I went through something similar at age between 3-4. I think I blocked myself that I can talk about it like nothing happened or if it doesn’t bother me. It sucks and it’s an addition to many other things you’re already going through or already have gone through. For me it’s hard to find inspiration motivation and willpower to change, fully accept compliments and take them to heart in a good way, to forgive and forget other including myself. I’m a people pleaser over pleasing myself.
It would best to change your name, people who knows you in your real life may read your comment.
I wish you and your daughter the best
This might sound cheesy but I was really moved by this episode, it’s inspired me to realize that I deserve help, I reached out to a therapy clinic about making an appointment
Im happy for you and good luck!
So happy for you ❤️
I’m so proud of you.
I'm proud and happy for you, goodluck!
It’s not cheesy at all! Best of luck to you.
Her explanation of why she doesn't want to get help is exactly my experience. My parents were exactly the same. I didn't want to feel that way anymore so I went anyway behind their back. Thankfully, I live in a country where I don't have the same struggles to find and get help as in the US. I finally figured out what was going on and I'm getting treated for it. My parents still don't accept it but I need to do what's best for me.
im glad you were able to continue despite your parents' wishes
What country u live in?
You go girl!!! Keep going and keep getting better.
In the US sometimes there’s a struggle to find help, but trust me a lot of providers here do push their patrons seek help from a therapist or a psychiatrist. A lot of my patients have one or the other. It just takes some time to find the right therapist who fits your needs.
Your parents are so against the idea of depression and therapy bc they probably see it as a failure on them. That they weren’t good enough parents. That’s on them, not you. Good for you, sending good thoughts your way! ❤
Parents need to stop putting so much pressure on their kids. School was actually harder for me than work. A lot of parents don’t understand and don’t like discussing negative things but as a parent, you are there to support your kids not just physically but emotionally.
Absolutely agree. My parents always say “I’d rather go back to school than ever do work”, but being in school is so hard. In person there is bullying and constant stress of forgetting things because if you forget one paper you get whatever% off the actual grade and you don’t get any sleep because you’re stressing over grades and tests and waking up on time and you’re exhausted..
But I’ve had jobs before. Not much, but still! I’ve worked in animal shelters and heard many stories about work from other people-there aren’t grades, you don’t have to stress about tests, none of that. You just have to do your job. Of course, there are more stressful jobs out there, but still! School causes stress like no other, and can really take a toll-if your parents are disappointed in you for getting stressed or depressed, thats on them. They should be there for you! They brought you into this world and now have a responsibility-care about your kid, because they wont succeed without that help!
@@caramelcopcat Agreed. And you don’t even get paid for the stress school brings you. At least you get paid when you work and have some independence. I also don’t like how parents complain kids are expensive in front of their kids and guilt trip kids for existing. It’s not the kids fault. Why don’t you think about how expensive kids are before you have them? Stop treating your kids like something to use/ show-off or a retirement plan.
@@caramelcopcat truthfully and honest with u my mom still wants me go back to school after i graduated i refuse she won't even let me get a job because she believes my job coach over me
Amen
I disagree, far too many parents have too little interest in their kids. A little nore pressure would make fewer burnouts.
I remember when I told my parents I was depressed. Their first reaction was to tell me how fantastic my life was. Their second reaction was to guilt me with how it was making them feel. Their third reaction was to angrily shout at me and call me ungrateful.
After that my teen years became 10x worse. Any time I was even slightly mopey around them they'd immediately start yelling at me to smile and have a positive attitude. They also began to track any time I spent away from the house and routinely tell me I couldn't go out. If I came home late from something my mother would be in hysterics, furiously saying how afraid she was I killed myself.
I realize they must have been pretty profoundly mentally ill themselves to behave like that but now as I near turning 30, after spending my 20s dealing with addiction and self harming the second I was out from under their watchful eyes (and yes a few not-alive attempts) I'm positive I'll never see them again unless I'm forced to by something important.
Mine told me i was exagerating and that others have it worse and i just need to auto educate myself... i just ignored them and went to therapy ,even now they say i'm exegerating
My dad told me my anxiety & depression were all in my head. I told him, "Duh." He never understood any of it, never really tried to help by joining in family therapy, but he worried a lot and my parents spent thousands on mental health when insurance didn't cover something. He didn't think I was making things up, he just didn't get it and I admit it was hard to explain a lot of what I felt because I didn't understand myself sometimes. It's all super frustrating because later he admitted he was depressed but he did nothing to try and fix it. IDK. It does help to know I'm not the only one that had dealt with this kind of issue. I wish I'd known that better when I was young.
@@andievecchione9315 Sometimes I wish they would experience it for just a few months so that they'd finally understand the pain.
@@shurinhaha Later on, my mother suffered from depression because she had severe scoliosis, Parkinson's, and things were just going badly. She told me she finely understood and while I appreciated that, I'm sad she had to deal with that and her poor health.
Gator hator: I absolutely felt your comment I grew up exactly like you described. It was very unbearable and I couldn’t only a 100 on my exams , idk if it’s just an Asian stigma or not but those of us who grew up with parents like this and where over achieving was pressured , I believe these kinds of people should not have children. I look at my own children who do sometimes struggle. I can’t even imagine being like that towards them . How we’re we put through that is crazy !
As a person who has gone through a similar process, they did a great job showing the stigma behind mental health in certain cultures.
As a Pakistani born person I can feel her pain on a very personal level, first we fear what our community will say, what our family will say, second we feel this constant need to pretend like everything is okay when in reality, as she said, it's hard getting out of bed in the morning and remembering all the responsibilities and expectations that are put on us to be our best selves...
This whole dialog of, "What will people say" , and "I don't wanna disappoint my family" is imbedded into our brains at a very young age... It makes us feel worthless and useless because we can't be our true selves... Depression is normal, just because some people see is as a sign of weakness doesn't mean that that's all it is... People hurt themselves, take their own lives because they have no one to talk to...
I am a doctor but i am also on treatment for depression nothing to be ashamed out
same, im pakistani too and it sucks to know that there's no easy way to leave that community. if i be myself as an lgbtq person, it'll put a bad image on my parents and they will berate me. if i run away, it'll put a bad image on my parents and my mom will get very depressed. if i don't be myself, i'll never be happy. i'm still not sure how i'll leave but hopefully i'll figure it out. it sucks to have such a great effect on a community
I'm indian and this is exactly what happens. Its drilled into our heads from such a young age. It's always about what other people think, even at the expense of our mental health
Some depressed Pakistani girls will be murdered in an honor killing just for being depressed.
This is me, I'm currently unable to sleep and function and I've bought sleeping pills secretly and take them before bed to cope. If my parents found out, they would make it into such a big deal like I'm doing something illegal.
I'm from a white family and my mother is the same way. Doesn't believe in therapy. Doesn't believe in "bringing up the past". Denies anything is wrong with me despite being diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with chronic PTSD from childhood trauma. This mother accepting her daughter needs help hit me hard. I hope this is what the future holds and not just fiction for most people.
i have ptsd but my mom doesn't believe it because she my stepmom and my dad who saw it all
not to mention she denies everything i'm sorry but i'm not gonna have a mother in my life who tells lies about what happen
narcissistic parents are like this. it’s not that they don’t believe in it, it’s that they don’t want it to take control away from them
I was in a very similar situation as her. I had therapy sessions in secret so my family wouldn't find out. If they did, I'd be labeled as crazy. In the Vietnamese community, (or mine, at least) Anyone who goes to a mental health professional is deemed crazy, and rumors spread about you and your family, like it's wild fire. I was terrified of being judged, or abandoned by my own family. It came to a point where I had to choose between my family, or my health/happiness. Everyone kept saying that I am better off just leaving and never seeing them again, but I refused because they are my family, and they raised me. It's all I ever knew. Me leaving felt like I tore my arm off. I was scared that if I couldn't handle being on my own, I'd have to go back home and face the consequences. Fortunately, me leaving was a wake up call to them, and they began treating me better. We still talk frequently, and I come to visit. But we agreed, I'd never go back and live there ever again.
Hi, I am glad you feel better, you are a humble gorgeous unique human being. DO NOT GIVE UP love yourself. I will pray, ask our creator to keep you under his wings. Thank you for expressing your feeling's, it will get better, even if you fail...stand up again, start again and again NEVER NEVER GIVE UP ok 💐💞
Cố lên bạn nhé
As a Vietnamese person, I agree with you. My mom told me that people who are treated for depression, suicidal idealization, and/or other kinds of mental illnesses would be denied access to universities and can't get a job. That stuff isn't true. A school staff member at my high school had to lecture her about the truth and that her views were very ableist.
Daft question and I don't mean to upset anyone, but how would the wider community find out if you went for therapy? You or your parents wouldn't exactly trumpet this around the neighborhood would you, and the fact that you had therapy in secret shows that it can be done without anyone finding out. It's like a girl going to a gynecologist - you wouldn't exactly spread that around the neighborhood either. In the West people tell everyone because it's like a badge of honor now to have therapy or be on medication for depression, but if you keep quiet about it - how could anyone find out? Or is the patient confidentiality not that great in nVietnam, or would your parents tell all the relatives?
For some jobs you might have to declare your medical history though when you apply for them, so be aware of that. Anything that involves responsibility for other people's lives, such as pilot or professional driver etc, at least here in the West they check one's medical history and if one has ever had therapy, one doesn't get accepted for such jobs.
@@LittleKitty22 gossip is the word
If you have driven your child to the point of clearly believing that you will hate them or think they are weak or spewing family secrets because they are mentally ill or not in the right place? To the point that you care more for your status and image over your own child's health and happiness? You failed as a parent. And you need to work on that before it's too late.
Ya, very true.
Unfortunately it's true in alot of religious or cultural households.
Also a generational thing
Don't wait for Asian parents to understand
They love thinking they're as perfect as God Himself,so why would they change?
It is too late. Abuse is irreversible.
@@nevaehhamilton3493 the point isn't to reverse but to change and manage. Parents can change his they approach their kids and manage their behaviours
That was my mom. When I first started therapy telling secrets and lies about the family. But deep down inside she knew I need help before things got worse and she let me get the help I needed . She’s seen an improvement not only in my behavior/general mood but how I traverse this world and our relationship. Before we couldn’t talk to each other without fighting now, we can talk to each other with civility
“I have a good life, I shouldn’t have depression”. This was the exact thinking that kept me from believing I could have depression. It took someone telling me that it doesn’t have to have a reason to realize I needed to go get help
"She won't -- love me the same."
This girl is correct to think this way.
When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in college (then called manic depressive disorder), my parents treated me even worse than before we knew exactly what my problem was. Everything I did and said was scrutinized under the microscope of "It must be because of their mental illness", and if I didn't follow every little order they gave, it was automatically, "Have you taken your meds today?"
I accept that there are actually understanding, genuinely loving, and caring parents out there . . . but some of us didn't or don't have them.
I fully understand her reluctance, because I went through what she feared the most -- to become an embarrassment to her parents -- someone to shun and hide from the world. A failure of their own making.
Sometimes seeking help becomes a worse hell than the disorder.
I can relate. My family doesn't treat me the same since my diagnosis. I don't think they understand mental illness, my grandparents sorta just expect me to figure it out myself. I get care in the form of a conversation about "doing things".. I have to do this, go do that, make practical steps. Get help for myself, make a dozen life changes, if I hate the situation just get out of it. Stop doing it. Do something. Sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming it's not possible to 'do things.' Sometimes I just need someone to calm me down, be there, check up on me, communicate, be present regularly and available habitually, not just when I'm falling apart. And that isn't ... I think the emotional upset scared them off. I think they don't care about me, so much as I'm their grandaughter and they should care.
yup. same here. my family also thinks that the meds i take should have cured me. it doesnt work that way
I told my parents I spent 11 days in a psych ward but they treated me like their crazy child from then on. Made things far worse
The way she said 'I need help' absolutely broke me. Made me cry instantly.
I've been suffering from depression since i was 16, i'm now 23 .
I'm much better now but it took me too long to ask for help. Even now i don’t know if it was because i was ashamed because i 'didn’t have a reason to feel depressed', scared of my parents reactions, or because i had too much pride to ask for help. or maybe it was all of the above.
But like i said i feel a bit better now but i wish i had the strength to ask for help earlier.
This made me all misty-eyed. I have clinical depression and usually, I just try to tough it out. But there are days when I just feel like it would be better if I just died and that I wouldn't be such an annoyance to people if I wasn't around.
It's tough to admit that you need help because you think people would judge you. I finally decided to seek therapy and get medication for it and I've been doing so much better.
It's still hard, but I'm not thinking about dying anymore.
The state of mental health care in this country is terrifying. After the way I have been treated in a number of different hospitals, I will never ask for help again. Mental patients are treated like they are stupid, they are less than, or they are bad because of their behavior.
It's so weird like they always say get help but I did and therapy did not help me, the meds make me numb ive gained like 100lbs, my doctor only wanted me to go back to work asap and my pay was 70% but I still had all my expenses. There literally was no point, I was better off getting fired at that point! So now I just suck it up and if I get fired so be it.
this really hit me. during my struggle with depression, when i told my parents, i just looked at my dad and said the same thing she did. "I'm sorry, I need help."
I said something similar over the summer. I believe my words were “I want to go to the [mental] hospital” while the actual mental hospital would “be a bad fit” for me according to dad (who I suspect is a narcissist), I did get help and therapy.
The young actress is so good, so real, I'm moved to tears! Wishing her a brilliant career if she decides to keep being an actress
Depression makes you think way more complicated… making coffee becomes getting out of bed, going to the kitchen, preparing the maker, making coffee, waiting, and more.
When I was crippled by a panic attack after a series of painful events, the only thing I could think to do was to call my mom. I'm glad I did. She talked me down and then did all the legwork to find me a doctor. All I had to do was call to make the appointment. She and my dad helped me through years of ups and downs as I went through treatment for anxiety and depression. Parents, don't make your child's illness about you. Get them the help they need. I'm doing really well now, and my relationship with my mom (my dad passed a few years ago) is very strong.
When she started listing them off, I just felt so much pain because of the truth of it all, the worst times of my day are getting up and trying to go to sleep and I feel so tired all the time.
This just broke me.. Hits hard when you understand the struggle. Thank goodness she’s gonna get help.
All who need help, should get the help they need. Always.
Wow, this was rough to watch. My mother ended her life due to depression when I was 15. It was very rough for her I imagine having to raise an autistic kid as a single parent while battling homelessness and addiction at the same time. I blamed myself quite a lot for her death which led to me battling my own depressive thoughts of ending my life and addiction for several years. Being adopted into a very different and abusive environment didn't help either. Neither in my mothers life nor mine so far were we ever able to reach out to other family members as it proved to be very toxic. I'm 20 now and I still struggle with day to day life but I feel myself getting better. Becoming a future father has brought me new meaning to life. I've never spoke to anyone on how I feel but seeing everyone here talk about their journey inspired me to post mine. And hey, to whoever might read this, I'm sorry for what battles you're going through and I hope for you all to overcome them.
- A stranger
Everyone should be able to get the proper help they need when it comes to mental health. I went through my worst patch of depression when I lived by myself for the first time last year, and when I was working at my last job I couldn't feel any joy in what I was doing at all even though it was a temporary job. I took more days off than I ever had for a job in my life, and that was why I was fired. I feel that even though your employer doesn't have to consider your mental health, they really should because ultimately if they don't have employees that can function with a healthy mind, they won't be productive and it doesn't make it any better. People always say mental issues are in your head or for attention or that it'll go away eventually when you get used to it, and those kinds of comments fill me with rage and disgust because my own depression and anxiety hinders my life as it does for many others. Learning to handle something a bit better with treatment isn't the same as "it'll go away" or anything like that. These are real problems that people suffer with and people feel like they're not heard or can't tell anyone because of what they think someone else will think about them. It can be a very sensitive topic to speak up about, and I've been there myself because I didn't want to guilt someone with my problems.
Take care, seek help, and please speak up about your mental health because you deserve help and love. ♥️
This made me cry. I have severe psychotic depression and psychosis. I needed someone like him when I was a child being abused, witnessing horrific stuff like, being forced to wake up and see my mum almost beaten to death or just battered every night. Because of this I became the same woman my mum was, thinking it was normal I was abused except I protected my kids and kept quiet through everything that happened to me... So they didn't hear me getting hurt bad by their father. I'm 37, 12yrs free from that abuse but I'm left with the damage. I've never recieved any help and only feel emotiinally around my children.
Man I was holding my tears back the whole time but I had waterfalls on my face after she told her mom she needs help
Seeing this comment section with so many stories and shared emotions is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. What makes me sad though, is that there are so many that can no longer share these stories due to stigmas. I genuinely feel inspired to make change in another's life, and I hope others feel the same way.
This was a truly beautiful clip. I don’t understand…stigma or not why you wouldn’t want your child to be happy and healthy
Annie, I cant speak for other culture but for Cambodian, there is no words to describe Depression, the closest thing i can think of is the word Crazy. Alot of poor countries dont know this, the mean force is to get food, stat alive so when living in a best country like USA and having depression (crazy) is just not a thing, cant be. Just how the parents/older gen is. Im speaking from first hand experiences. 🙂
I was days away from unaliving myself, (a few years ago, i am doing okay these days) and i did a last ditch desperate cry for help, after years of begging for it. My mother, a genuinely lovely and loving woman finally heard me, and said "I thought you were smarter than that." I did get help, but by the skin of my teeth.
Did anybody else cry? She listed the things she had to do but couldn't find the motivation to because it wasn't worth it. People are telling and asking when I will start driving, I tell them, "It's personal", when it's more than that. Imagining it as a way to end myself because of the panic/anxiety attack, the how I can't do one simple thing when kids my age can't wait to learn and have their own car, burdening my family to take me to work because I'm so scared to drive anywhere or even sit at the wheel because of the pressure around me, lying awake at night thinking a million things I can't do, and just wondering if I fall asleep forever will it finally stop? (Crying while I'm writing this)
From a Filipino family, and this clip close to home. I’ve been fortunate though to have a supportive mom who does understand because of her work in mental health. Dad does his best, but can’t really wrap his mind around it. I realize my experience is more of an exception than norm. I wish that didn’t have to be the case.
I remember that one day in University, I was very stressed because of an assignment and a job I had that time. No one understood my situation and all day I felt like on the edge of crying. How ironic, that the topic we covered touched on mental health. The assignment for that class was due on that day and I couldn’t get myself to do it so after class, I talked to my lecturer, and I immediately started crying. I was crying out for help but he didn’t notice. I told him about everything and he still didn’t get it. He told me that I shouldn’t be this upset and that I should put some makeup on and fix my hair to look nicer. I was crying out for help and through all the lecturers I had, I felt like he would have been the one to notice any signs. He never did and I will remember that conversation for the rest of my life.
Dude that’s messed up :( it’s so hard to ask for help I don’t get it wh. The signs are there and they don’t care
Out of no where THE MOMENT she started to describe her depression tears were already going, because i knew the moment they mentioned not getting out of bed was to real for me that i wish my parents could understand that its not about resposibilty or time that helps our depression its relief of being understood.
I felt this poor girl, I feel the same way. It’s hard growing up with parents that you’re afraid to disappoint because they judge you.
Oh man. This was done really well. One of those things that gives you words you wish you had earlier, sums up a lot of common feelings. And I really like “We all need help”, perfect line.
Being on your parents' insurance can suck. Yes, even if she just got meds, they'd know what the meds were.
Not really. They could’ve given her a med that may be used for other things like pain or migraines and other things that could be an easy excuse.
Pretty sure being on other people's insurance doesn't mean they can see your health records
@@16poetisa but they can see what’s being billed to the insurance which would tell them generally what they were saw for at the minimum.
@@bubbles7398 Yeah, I'm not sure about the specifics re: HIPPA, billing codes seem like something that ought to be private, but maybe they're not 😔
Medicare Anna oooop
This made me tear up… she hit every mark … every nail on the head
Wow that poor girl and What's more painful is that there are billions of kids who feel this way and it's heartbreaking.
as someone who is going through a traumatic life event my depression has gotten overwhelmingly worse....this girl did a great job portraying what depression is like.
I feel her on a level I can’t explain. My father is someone I’m afraid to even ask for help because I’m so used to being told “it’s an excuse” by him and the arguments are not even worth my mentality anymore to reason with him. It hurts, not just a pinch. A whole truck.
I felt for the girl, because she was unhappy, depressed, stressed, and she was afraid her parents would know. The Indian doctor told his colleagues it's about shame and that's very true.
And finally the mother showed she understond and loved her daughter. The love was so clear here.
My sister was adopted from South Korea and it's the same with her. She's not depressed at the moment, but she has that sense of general shame about not knowing things so either she pretends to know or she keeps insisting a wrong thing is wright. She simply cannot admit she is wrong about something.
As a mental health professional and a person diagnosed with major depression this is such an accurate depiction of depression..almost brought me to tears when she explained how it felt and when she communicated her needs to her mother. Well done 👍
Cognitive distortions are a really hard thing to cope with. Her mother still loved her the same. She just needed to understand the help her daughter needed.
the ending had me. 😢😢 this is why I support my daughter no matter what. I want her to know it's okay to fail sometimes.
In real life cps would have been called asap but it's a nice representation of how hard it is to go against family and culture in regards of mental health
“I know it sounds silly, but…” it got me right there. Its nothing, and thats the hard part.
i’ll always be grateful to my parents. the second i told them something was wrong, they immediately got me therapy and are still there every step of my recovery. they pay my therapy, drive me to all my appointments, pick up my medication, support me, and they just worry. they’re involved in my therapy and in my progress goals. they support me in every way they know and they’re understanding when my moods cause me to lash out at anyone standing near me. i’ve improved so much because of them.
At 19, I was placed on a 51/50 but I was in the hospital before being transferred because I tried to OD. In the hospital, nobody talked to me and a security guard sat near the door and guarded me like a prisoner.
I also had no insurance and they transferred me via ambulance in the middle of the night. My hospital bills came out to be over 15k. My poor parents.
I learned to never tell anyone about my problems or thoughts ever again after this.
Everything she's saying is accurate about depression. I felt that because I live with it every day.
“Our children aren’t perfect, and why should they be. We are not.”
Compassion is a two way street. People have to remember, it was not the children’s decision to be born it’s yours. The children are taken care of when they are growing, and the parents are taken care of when the children are grown.
“We all need help.”
I totally understand this. In my country that's still new in the process of accepting mental health, a lot of people are afraid to seek help even when they need it because others say they're just overreacting.
This hit hard for me , I was there at one point and everything portrayed was exactly how I felt. Years have passed and I finally talked to my parents. Now I look back and realize how dark it was back then. I've come long away and realize that i can't be perfect cause no is perfect. To accept myself and that it's okay to ask for help.
Parents came from the Philippines. I was born in Canada. Growing up they always hinted towards the typical doctor and lawyer career. It was never my thing so I went to college taking construction engineering and management and now I'm a union carpenter with my own side business and never regretted my decision. They eventually stopped pushing towards the other careers after I started taking care of them and some bills. Im not perfect but I put in the work and they were happy because I was happy.
The last phrase was true. We all need help
"We all need help" I wish I would have heard that from my mother when I was in the hospital
I just had to withdraw from college for the semester because of an autoimmune disorder that manifested as severe fatigue and depressive affect. I wanted to solve it myself so badly that I cut myself off from everyone for about 7 months. I wanted to end my existence. But my parents threatened to fly down to school until I told them why I wasn’t talking to them. Despite the fact that I know that mental health is a valid reason for getting help, I kept apologizing for having to get help. I felt so much relief when I found out that my problems were largely due to my physical disease. I fully understand the shame surrounding mental health because even though my family is filled with mental health advocates, I was worried that I would disappoint them because I was suffering. I’m now getting treatment for my disease and going back to therapy for my anxiety.
I am a living failure and burden, so I don't feel like I deserve help, but for the last years, I have been depressed. My situation is so similar to this girl because of how much I am afraid of my parents. I wish I could get help as she did, but if I attempt, my parents will destroy me more.
You are NOT a failure or a burden! This might be hard to accept but sometimes we have to choose to distance from toxic family members in order to avoid being poisoned ourselves.
This is honestly my comfort clip, it reminds me that we all deserve help and to be healthy and that there is nothing wrong or shameful about asking for it because those who truly love you will stand by your side every step of the way
I cried because I know first hand how it feels, to be admitted in a phyco ward and still not get the help that I needed only to be fed pills that prevented me from being human. I wouldn't wish that on anyone
Me too psych wards don’t help anybody they just feed people pills and make them traumatize it only made me trust the mental health care system less a lot less
@@thehighpriestess2400 Trust me, i pray that my kids don't ever have to feel depressed about anything
@@jayjanilleheslop8074 but also pray that if they are they can find comfort with you, just love them thru the ups and downs of life
My family is similar I can’t talk about my antidepressants or therapy without them saying “why are you depressed your doing so well in life” “you shouldn’t rely on medication, it isn’t healthy”
Or my personal fave when they start crying apologizing for making me like this. Like thanks for making it about you mom
I still remember the day i told my parents i need help with my mental health. Luckily enough i caught my mom in a very fragile state when it comes to the subject of therapy, because some friend of her told her stories about people who didn't go to therapy and ended commiting all kinds of things. It was hard, my parents tried to help me first, before letting me into therapy. And that's pretty nice, but having no experience with this they were just pouring salt on the wound. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and moderate sociophobia, so sure enough, mom telling me that in the and we all die at some point (in the moments when i was having a monstrous anxiety attack) or telling me that she doesn't understand how come i feel bad, i just have to appreciate life more just made me seek out a therapist as soon as possible.
Depression can hit anyone and it doesn't need a reason. It doesn't discriminate, it doesn't care about who you are and it will try to steal your life. Get therapy and kick its ass!
Kids have so much pressure these days and it's unfair. Kids need to be free to be kids.
Thanks. This is actually what happened to me after my pathetic attempt. It’s something that could never really be put into words to be understood by other people. That feeling. The desperation and the knowing that you’re being illogical and being helpless against your mind
As someone that deals with major depressive disorder, I’ve reached out for help over and over again, all with no success. I’ve been hospitalized many times because of suicide attempts, had ECT, dealt with so many social workers, doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists that actually don’t care. Even though the stigma of mental health issues is alive and well in society, it’s even worse in the medical community. Honestly, asking for and getting help are two different things. After years of failed requests for help, I’ve accepted the fact that I have to deal with this alone. A sad but true situation.
I cried. Anyone else ? Just the fact someone was able to listen to her and cared.
When she said I'm sorry I need help made me cry because I have extremely server depression. And her mum is a star
1:45 this happened to me and my mom didnt want me to go to therapy because she said i would be crazy im sorry to whoever is going through this and have people in their life who dont understand
I hope you realize you’re helping others by telling us this. I admire your honesty.
My dad has been diagnosed but my mom says that mental illness isn’t real, so even though my dad thought I had depression I could never get therapy. Now that I’m off my mom’s insurance I’m still too scared to go to therapy to see if I have anything.
GO! Do NOT let someone else's delusions stop you from getting help. Dont let her hang-ups become yours. The brain is an organ and like any organ it can malfunction and need treatment to get back on track. Older generations need to grow up and accept reality.
i remember that for the past four years of my life, my thoughts have been exactly like that. I finally decided to get help. I had believed that because i had a loving family, a good financial situation and essentially a perfect harmonized lifestyle that i had no right to be depressed, and that it was pathetic of me to think like that. But, I'm human, and i realized that as a human, i have every right to my thoughts, my emotions and my suffering. I'm now in a better place, i also have meds to help with my anxiety and depression. It lowkey makes me feel numb, and i do sometimes feel like a burden or pathetic for needing medication and therapy, but it's working, and I'm slowly becoming human again. I'm slowly staring to not just be alive, but rather to live. I painted again yesterday for the first time in years, and it felt really nice.
Man I wish my mom and family was that understanding, glad I’m an adult now and can get professional help for my mental health.
I suffer from depression I feel like life would be better if I wasn't around anymore.
In reality, I have never met a doctor that would take the time to talk to the patient for more than a few minutes, much less just listen to the patient, even when they held me over night, thinking I was suicidal.
I remember being in this situation with my own mom. I thought she wouldn’t understand. But then one night as we were talking about my issues she asked me, “Do you think you might be depressed?” I broke down. She took me to a psychiatrist and therapist and got me on medication that helped. She is always the first person to know when I’m in a bad place. I love my mom ❤
I lost my mom a year ago. She struggled with depression, and she saw me going downhill. She drove to my college campus one day to meet up with me and pretty much force me to go see the counselor. And she supported me through eventually seeing a psychiatrist and getting on antidepressants. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my mom before that, and the meds made me feel totally different about it. I miss her so much.
@@KnapfordMaster98 I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you were able to have a good relationship with her and be open with her
I feel the mom is saying “I want you to get better” just to save face and not come off as a bad parent.
Well you can tell mom understands that Amy needs help, but because of cultural stigma she had to take time to accept the truth. It's not easy to admit that your child needs mental health, let alone that you may have unintentionally caused your child to attempt s*icide because of pressure.
Shes not scared of her mothers disapproval. Shes scared of what happens when she gets home and mama drops the mask
I am so thankful that I have such supportive parents who have helped me through my mental health journey. They took me to a group home to get therapy, they took care of me when I was so depressed I couldn’t care for my basic needs and they pay for some of my bills since I can’t work enough to support myself. I would not be here if it wasn’t for my parents.
There is no treatment for depression.. just things that can temporarily help us. Meds and therapy. Otherwise if there was "treatable" we wont have to use any of those things
We need to let go of the stigma around mental health. It’s 2023 and people need to wake tf up and realize mental health is real! Honesty people do more harm than good by ignoring mental health. I always talk to my mom about my depressive episodes and my anxiety. She has been open with me about her anxiety and my dad’s depression. I hope that one everyone can be open like me and my mom are. I definitely think we are getting to that point especially since there are so many social media platforms. Most of the population is struggling with anxiety and depression especially since the pandemic started.
We *all* really do need help. I deserve it and you deserve it. The hardest part is asking
I know it's just a show, but she was lucky. I was in a similar situation and my mother reacted exactly the way that girl was afraid would happen. My mother cried saying what would the neighbours think, what would the doctors think, that everyone would say she was a bad mother, that I was stupid and weak etc. etc. etc. I've had clinical depression since I was a teenager and I'm 62 now. It will never go away, but could have been helped if only my mother had cared about me and not only about herself.
This made me cry. I was raised in a family that didn't believe in mental health issues, or they were just seeking more attention. I am bi polar with rapid cycling. I so wish my parents could have learned it is true so I could have gotten help so much younger.
Having come from a very similar background I understand this pressure. Luckily I've learned to manage it as I got older, but Ive seen how it affects others who have it worse. If only it's this easy for families to accept this as a problem that can be resolved, but the difference in culture can be tragically steep...
there is no shame in admitting you need help Somtimes admitting that is the hardest part
speaking as someone with depression, this hits the core :,) I relate to her so much makes me wanna cry ToT
Our parents don't want to listen to us, listen to what we feel. They always think and say that they are always right. My sister, brother and me are angry to our father because he bullies us, verbally. That hurts me so much to hear the words he is saying about my siblings. Therefore, you can see in our actions that we always distance ourselves from him and don't respond normally and comfortably to whatever he says. They called our actions and they get angry at us. How will they know the reason why we are acting like this if they dont even want to listen to us? To listen to feelings, our side, our thoughts?
I suffered anxiety for almost 6 years and just 3 years ago, I was a happy that I can finally overcome anxiety but now, it came back. So does the thoughts.
The only thing that we want for our parents to do for us RIGHT NOW is to LISTEN to us and UNDERTSAND and LOWER THEIR PRIDE. Because based on their reactions when we are asking them to listen to us, what they understand in the word "LISTEN" is that we are giving them lessons, that we reprimand them WHICH IS NOT TRUE, we just want our voice and feelings to be heard.
Then, our father wants us to say sorry to him. Are we the only one and are we the one who made mistake in the first place? If only he doesnt say such things that are degrading, talking about our past mistakes again behind our backs, judging us, and saying bad things as if we don't exist - YES WE HEAR THEM, AND WE HAVE FEELINGS, WE GET HURT, WE GET ANGRY.
But because of their pride, and how super high they see about their role as parents, they won't even recognize, realize, and accept their mistakes. We are not perfect, NO ONE IS.
Yes, in the country I lived there is this toxic culture - us, who are younger than them, have no right to say something because if we do, they are considering it as "talking back at them".
PLEASE LISTEN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
One thing I observed about my parents (YES, BOTH OF THEM) is that they don't care about mental health problems. Well, they only care about themselves.
Just because you don't experience any mental health problems, doesnt mean that you should neglect it, that you should take it as a joke. Why? Did you ever LISTEN?
Calling out to all parents to please take good care of your children, and give them enough love and support. Don't be there for them just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
Sending love to all❣️
If only my parents could read this right now , this encompassed how I truly feel at home rn.
Your parents need help too! (classic signs of narcissistic personality disorder).
I said the same thing about being on my parents insurance when I was at university. Thankfully I could go to the student health and counseling center, bypassing my folks insurance. Gave me time to figure things out.
When my mom found out from a school counselor that I'd been cutting myself, I remember that night she told me that if I was so depressed I might as well end it there because things were only going to get worse. She doesn't remember it now but I sure as hell do. I had been a bit of a hypochondriac as a kid so she figured I was faking being depressed for attention despite her not knowing it had at that point been going on for 4 years.
WTF
Her acting is so beautiful, reminds me of a real life situation I’ve experienced
First and foremost, if a child tried to commit suicide, she is going inpatient mental health facility. Assuming that the hospital in the show had their own psych facility, they can give therapy there. The parents do not have a say if their child attempted suicide to refuse treatment. After treatment for the initial attempt where she no longer meets inpatient level of care and is discharged, the parents then could technically refuse. I've had many parents threaten (I conduct psych assessments in hospitals) to take their child home after they've seriously harmed themselves or contemplated it with continued ideation and no means to keep safe. We call CPS on those families and file against them if they do continue to try to encourage their children to lie during assessments to seem like they are better when they are not. It is not ethical to encourage the kid to lie and defraud the hospital and hold that secret, and lie to their parents about therapy as they are the ones who have to live with their parents and that lie. Yes, getting mh treatment is 100% needed but you cannot hold that responsibility to lie on the kids shoulder
what country do you live in?
The problem they may not show is maybe in the heat of the moment, a parent who doesn't understand will soften their heart enough to understand and want to help, but in a lot of cases I see and have been through myself, that moment dissaptes and turns back to the way things were as soon as your not crying anymore. Then some day you can cry and it won't even make a difference, in those cases its called psychological abuse...
Whelp that's really depressing
When i was a jr in high school i made a friend and her parents were like this, didnt trust therapy, didnt believe in mental health. I brought her to my guidance counselor and she helped her family get the help my friend needed. I feel horrible for kids and teens with parents that are like this. Every deserves help
Hello I have autism and I just stared therapy this week I was scared but telling them was the best thing I ever did get help and it is ok to ask for help
Right as she said “she’ll now,She’ll judge me.” I cried
I'm 60 and struggling with depressia & anxiety for 30 years. I don't even know why am I taking pills wenn they do not help. Has anybody ever healed depression/anxiety? PLEASE HELP ME. I have a daughter (30 years old, a single mother like I have been) and I' m afraid she's starting to get the same problem. PLEASE HELP US! ANYBODY? 🙏😭
@@steinbock1962 I'm only 14 years old and I'm not in therapy but I have a friend who is and she's my age. She said she went to her local clinic/hospital and the doctor askes her questions. And then the doctor said she'll be needing therapy and her parents had to know. After that she does therapy every week and she said her therapist is really nice. I hope my parents come to a understanding that I need therapy, I want to make sure I have a good mindset because there's still so much I wanna accomplish. I also don't wanna wait so long
One of the saddest episodes from this show and they have a number tear jerkers!
That child is scared of her mother and that mother should be ashamed. Disgusting. Abhorrent.
This is so relatable to me being a Chinese American and all she saids is true
If only the health care system was actually like this. Instead we're just asked general questions and given pills. Having gone through a psych ward and had sessions with a therapist. I can safely say we're treated like dead weights.