a 9 year old , with the maturity level and Intelligence of a much older person 18 - 20 at least , without any backstory as to why? took too much away for me
As general exceptions to the norm. Yes. As a concept that they were able to surpass all others Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, and rationally enough to be sent to Alien Space University , over all other candidates as earths choice for who to send? No ... thus my original comment. But thank goodness this is just fiction right ;)
How about a music school contest that students add notes - or a chemistry school where the elements are to be connected by positive & negative charges - yes some 9 yr old can do these
I think I understand the story you are telling here, but It is new, and raw. I would suggest you build your Sarah more. The Characters are in the right places, but they want for more presence. Some of the greatest leaps in logic are given very brief build-ups. I crave to see more in my mind when I hear these words in my ear. If you will forgive me my analysis. I guess where I think I understand, I would prefer to know I understand, if that is a good metaphor.
Thank you for your constructive comment. You made some very valid observations about the text in question. I agree that the story is new and a bit raw in its current form. The main character, Sarah, could be developed in more depth so that readers can better connect with her and her motivations. Your points about logical leaps and brief constructions that lack detail are also well taken. By adding more descriptions and scenes, the narrative would gain more solidity and allow readers to better visualize the events in their minds. Your feedback is greatly appreciated as it helps me identify areas that need more work to make the story more engaging and immersive. Your desire to “know you understand” rather than just “think you understand” is a valuable reminder that a well-constructed narrative should flow naturally and convey its meaning clearly. I will take all these points into consideration when reviewing and improving the text in the future. Comments like yours are fundamental to a writer's growth. Once again, thank you very much for your time and insightful analysis. She will definitely help me take my work to a new level.
interesting story since this weapon was on mars and then earth , but it is gone not here no more, and reborns are more ancient then ppl know and are here,
The professor gave her the crystal, told her she would know what to do; then complained when she did it. But he gave the way to her. 'A' 'S'tupid 'S'tory.
Let’s just say that there are a lot of stories that are like this where you don’t get any backstory for the main character, although I find it interesting that the ability to test the boundaries is put into one so young and yet how often do we look at young people as the future on one hand we say they can be more than what they were and on the other hand, we consider I’m not old enough to do certain things and stories like that Because they’ve justified the odds and they’ve just stepped outside the boundary lines of what you would normally consider a young person to be capable of. Stories like this exhibited example of how young people can do things beyond what most people think they can and yet we try to treat our kids like they are these things that we have to protect with our lives and in some cases, the fact is the other way around they are perfectly capable of doing what needs to be done and in stories like this that is exhibited beyond the Boundary lines of what a lot of humans think again this young lady is very much like someone else I read about who went far beyond the limitations of what some people thought she could and so I would say that as a parent, I would hope my son is able to do something of this nature and go beyond the boundaries of what people think he’s capable of in terms of accomplishment and in terms of long-term growth potential I help my son can achieve levels of capability that lead to true change in the world however, I know there are people trying to put limits on him right now just like they did to his father and his mother The status quo defied or set aside for these peoples capabilities so I would say that a story like this is something that I’ve grown up with for a long time and I’m happy that people are able and willing to write stories like this because it illustrates how people can stand up and do what nobody thought they could I commend the writers
You're playing the ads too closely together. You could place them at least 10 - 15 minutes apart. Preferably 15 - 20 minutes apart. I feel like I'm watching as much ads as audio book.
The art work in know way represents the story. And the physical characteristics of the cat people are not inline with cats. A nine year old might be a genius but very unlikely to be that mature if for know other reason than a lack of life experiences.
Honestly there's just not enough build up in the universe of the story and I stopped by like minute 15, I know this is an Academy somewhere with a lot of different species and she's the only human, but the... well to put it frankly, it reminds me of Zootopia, trying to talk about the imagined lines separating society. But where Zootopia was a whole city in a world with predators and prey and arguably some interesting room for some interesting discussions... THIS IS A HECKIN' ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! They act like a child of a newly emerged species excelling is as socially a dangerous as blacks being able to eat in the same room at a restaurant as the whites back in the 30's... if it were re-done to give some context how humans entering the wider galaxy has been an abrasive experience and why, the way human students put into a hostile environment like this was neccessary to build rapport, and point out the blatant racism in the wider galaxy and how normal it is; this story as is might have been better recieved.
Why in most stories is the girl's name always Sarah?
Sarah Connor - I don't know what you are talking about
👉☀️💪
Why in magic stories the boy's name is usually Harry.
@@sergioandrade8735 It's a good partner for Sarah!
@@sergioandrade8735this is HFY. He should be named Dave.
a 9 year old , with the maturity level and Intelligence of a much older person 18 - 20 at least , without any backstory as to why? took too much away for me
I took that into consideration, thank you!
You are aware there are 9-years-olds who have university degrees in real life, right? Exceptional individuals do exist.
As general exceptions to the norm. Yes. As a concept that they were able to surpass all others Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, and rationally enough to be sent to Alien Space University , over all other candidates as earths choice for who to send? No ... thus my original comment. But thank goodness this is just fiction right ;)
A nine year old girl by herself, I don't think so. An entire academy just to solve puzzles? Silly
How about a music school contest that students add notes - or a chemistry school where the elements are to be connected by positive & negative charges - yes some 9 yr old can do these
love!
being the father of a 9yo , i can definitely say this is fiction .
I think I understand the story you are telling here, but It is new, and raw. I would suggest you build your Sarah more. The Characters are in the right places, but they want for more presence. Some of the greatest leaps in logic are given very brief build-ups. I crave to see more in my mind when I hear these words in my ear. If you will forgive me my analysis.
I guess where I think I understand, I would prefer to know I understand, if that is a good metaphor.
Thank you for your constructive comment. You made some very valid observations about the text in question. I agree that the story is new and a bit raw in its current form. The main character, Sarah, could be developed in more depth so that readers can better connect with her and her motivations.
Your points about logical leaps and brief constructions that lack detail are also well taken. By adding more descriptions and scenes, the narrative would gain more solidity and allow readers to better visualize the events in their minds.
Your feedback is greatly appreciated as it helps me identify areas that need more work to make the story more engaging and immersive. Your desire to “know you understand” rather than just “think you understand” is a valuable reminder that a well-constructed narrative should flow naturally and convey its meaning clearly.
I will take all these points into consideration when reviewing and improving the text in the future. Comments like yours are fundamental to a writer's growth. Once again, thank you very much for your time and insightful analysis. She will definitely help me take my work to a new level.
intrigue and suspense with the promise of treasure, reminds me of the old black and white movies i used to love growing up .good job
I really like your comments! Thanks!
The problem with AI using the internet to learn, is it isn't really evolving, it is just mimicking us.
But she is a good employee in my case! lol
@user-pc5ww8fh6d It's using feminist promoting logic. It's always a young girl in every story. Rubbish
dont think everything is ai and not all this is not true, reborns are here on this planet and are more ancient they u could ever know
interesting story since this weapon was on mars and then earth , but it is gone not here no more, and reborns are more ancient then ppl know and are here,
"Floating city" plus "orbiting a distant star"... hire a frigging proofreader.
Well, "floating through space" is a common wording in RL too, for unpowered flight.
@@joelceda3500 example?
The professor gave her the crystal, told her she would know what to do; then complained when she did it. But he gave the way to her. 'A' 'S'tupid 'S'tory.
ok
The words "but at what cost" should be banned from the stories...
Are they very common in these stories?
@@FictionalReimagined Many of the stories are cliche ridden.
A neutron handgun would have been a better gift - or - a laser knife 30 meters long when switched on -
😮😮😮😮😮
do not judge your worth by what you have done but by what can do
What you will do
@@kennethwilson4316 no what you can do and what you will do are differnt
@@RobertSmith-cs5co indeed, one says that you are able, the other is a statement of intent and the willingness.
@@kennethwilson4316 yes grasshopper just becouse you can do something does not mean you should
dont listen to me my best fried is a crow a sqirle and a dove that wont shut up
Let’s just say that there are a lot of stories that are like this where you don’t get any backstory for the main character, although I find it interesting that the ability to test the boundaries is put into one so young and yet how often do we look at young people as the future on one hand we say they can be more than what they were and on the other hand, we consider I’m not old enough to do certain things and stories like that Because they’ve justified the odds and they’ve just stepped outside the boundary lines of what you would normally consider a young person to be capable of. Stories like this exhibited example of how young people can do things beyond what most people think they can and yet we try to treat our kids like they are these things that we have to protect with our lives and in some cases, the fact is the other way around they are perfectly capable of doing what needs to be done and in stories like this that is exhibited beyond the Boundary lines of what a lot of humans think again this young lady is very much like someone else I read about who went far beyond the limitations of what some people thought she could and so I would say that as a parent, I would hope my son is able to do something of this nature and go beyond the boundaries of what people think he’s capable of in terms of accomplishment and in terms of long-term growth potential I help my son can achieve levels of capability that lead to true change in the world however, I know there are people trying to put limits on him right now just like they did to his father and his mother The status quo defied or set aside for these peoples capabilities so I would say that a story like this is something that I’ve grown up with for a long time and I’m happy that people are able and willing to write stories like this because it illustrates how people can stand up and do what nobody thought they could
I commend the writers
You made me very happy with your comment, I hope I can write more things that interest you!
You're playing the ads too closely together. You could place them at least 10 - 15 minutes apart. Preferably 15 - 20 minutes apart. I feel like I'm watching as much ads as audio book.
I'm sorry to inform you, but I don't change the TH-cam settings to play ads, the platform decides on that, but thank you for watching my stories!
Reminiscent of Harry Potter but there are flaws. Thank you for the story. UKUK
Oops, if you found this one flawed, it's because you didn't listen to the older ones! Jesus!🤣🤣🤣🤣
The art work in know way represents the story. And the physical characteristics of the cat people are not inline with cats. A nine year old might be a genius but very unlikely to be that mature if for know other reason than a lack of life experiences.
No chaperone? No attendant? Totally unattended minor? I don't think so!
A 9 year old with this reasoning: no way!!!
My daughter is 8 and sometimes, many times, she surprises me! lol
...you must not have played many computer games... 😜
If Sarah was the only human there why does your picture show so many humans? Small details like that are annoying. Please do better.
Re-used thumb nail
Great eye for detail
Most if not, all these are AI made images...
Detail that she wasn't supposed to be the only one, but she passed anyway, thank you!
But the script literally says she's the only one... @@FictionalReimagined
Thompson Joseph Miller Ronald Lee Gary
🤔
Honestly there's just not enough build up in the universe of the story and I stopped by like minute 15, I know this is an Academy somewhere with a lot of different species and she's the only human, but the... well to put it frankly, it reminds me of Zootopia, trying to talk about the imagined lines separating society. But where Zootopia was a whole city in a world with predators and prey and arguably some interesting room for some interesting discussions... THIS IS A HECKIN' ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! They act like a child of a newly emerged species excelling is as socially a dangerous as blacks being able to eat in the same room at a restaurant as the whites back in the 30's...
if it were re-done to give some context how humans entering the wider galaxy has been an abrasive experience and why, the way human students put into a hostile environment like this was neccessary to build rapport, and point out the blatant racism in the wider galaxy and how normal it is; this story as is might have been better recieved.
Thank you very much for your point of view, I will take it into consideration!
@@FictionalReimagined I look forward to the work made going forward
what a bunch of crap, magically she knew all the ways, all the codes and the evil weapon was rendered useless.
Dude, cool, your point of view is valid but you don't need to disparage someone else's work to try to feel like a better person, thanks anyway!
To be fair, too many of these stories do have so much "innate knowledge" that it's become an annoying trope.
Also, aren't these AI texts? They aren't "someone's work", unless AIs have been granted personhoods while I wasn't looking.
Bad AI art that doesn't go well with the mediocre AI story.
What a hardened heart!