Miscellaneous Myths: The Five Suns
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
- Everybody loves a good creation myth. The Aztecs loved it so much they did it five whole times! I'd call it "overkill", but compared to all the other stuff the aztecs believed, four mythical extinction events is actually remarkably tame.
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I feel bad for their water god. She cried because she was accused of not loving her humans. That’s heartbreakingly adorable.
Truly it is
. . . she cried for several years drowning them all so maybe the acusation was right
@@SingingSealRiana the world had never flooded before how was she supposed to know they couldn't swim?
@@Meepantor beeing able to swim and beeing able to swim for several years are compleatly different things. Beside swiming, the flood would also have destroyed the fields, killed the crops and probably killed even the fish . . .
@@SingingSealRiana I'm aware, it was a joke, although the thought could be stretched into plausibility. Obviously the result is horrific, but the fact that a goddess was so upset about being accused of not liking her humans is the heartbreaking adorable part.
>Flying serpent
>Trips
Logic at its finest.
I saw an owl trip trying to fly a rabbit up a tree.
It's not technically a trip since nothing is blocking a foot, but functions the same and looks the same.
The animal is unable to lift off with the extra weight, and stumbles, often pivoting on the foot(where the extra weight is).
Not Pulverman, can a god be classified as animal?
@@tinchosabala Yes, take a look at Zeus, he's basically a (insert animal that f***'s a lot here)
@@ASquared544 Now now. Even Rabbits do not multiply *that* much. Plus Zeus likes to keep it to "one child per animal form".
@@tinchosabala Irrelevant, but often, yes.
Greek gods: Dammit, Zeus!
Aztec gods: Dammit, Tez!
Norse gods: Dammit, Loki!
Egypt gods: dammit, seth!
Japanese gods : Dammit Susanoo !
Christan god: SATAN!
Satan: FUCK YOU DAD YOU DON'T OWN ME
Jesus: he has daddy issues.
Satan: I DO NOT!
Aztec mythology Is mah mythology
"So yeah, in the Aztec cosmology, the Earth itself is a starving primeval monster that wants nothing more than to eat everything at all times..."
That... Actually explains a lot.
Like all the sacrafices
How?
TomWolf200 they sacrifice a couple of people every week
Well the explication of the crocodile mout earth is simple, if you know about the relieve of central mexico, there's a fuck ton of mountains and volcans, and the capital of the aztec empire was in a lake, surrounded by five mountains with cool history's like the iztazihuatl and the popocatepet
And the sacrifice were special, not for everyone, this were created for the cautives of other city's and great's general's
This entire myth sounds like college students working on a group project
This is the most accurate description of this myth I've ever seen
I know and I love it
Back to the DRAWING BOARD
I'm Xipe Totet…
That one person who's there in the background wanting to die and/or kill everyone
Yeah dont you just hate it when the 'that guy' of the group seduces the project leader because he wanted to be leader.
"This game sucks, nerf this"
"Yeah let's just restart"
"It's not working"
"Just try again"
That's me playing any RPG. "Hmm... This is getting kind of boring. I bet that if I start all over again with everything I know now, I'll have much more fun."
Deletes save file.
Oh hey, Final Fantasy 14
Oh hey me playing super mario rpg
Any Civilization game that goes poorly. And I don’t mean “aw I wanted to make a City there” poorly, I mean “I got too focused on everything but my military and now literally everyone I know is declaring war on me on Turn 30 of 3000” poorly
If Aztecs were reincarnated instead of being re-created every time,that would make it Dark Souls of mythologies
Tezcatlipoca: "You ungrateful humans!"
Quetzalcoatl: *"NO NOT MY BABIES."*
The most dysfunctional sibling duo of all time
Thor and Loki energy
@@Corviidei Thor and Loky can still put their differents aside sometimes, but not Tezcatlipoca
@@robbieaulia6462 Loki is currently inside a cave, tied to a rock with snake venom dripping over his face. All differences are indeed put aside I guess
@@mrjoe332 keyword sometimes
Greek: The grossest mythology.
Norse: The most badass mythology.
Aztec: _I fear no _*_mythology._*_ But that thing…it scares me._
What about Egyptian mythology
@@Jjonahlamison the wackiest mythology
Indian Mythology: WAY too confusing to be a mythology
That is coming from a hindu, haha 😭👍
@@templarianthefirst9022 Now, describe Mayan myths!
@@that..1.lil_freak Chinese myths: SEXY LADY DEMONS THIS WAY!! YES THIS IS MY OPINION ON PRINCESS IRON FAN!
what I learned from this: Quetzalcoatl is a good god snek
Choose a best friend:
*-Tezcalipoca*
> Has pet Jaguar
> Top notch prankster
*-Coyolxauqui*
> Goth girl
> Topless
> Misunderstood
*-Hitzlipotchli*
> Gym bro
> Will get in a fight (and win) for you
> Uses human hearts as steroids
*-Coatlicue*
> Casual hippie
> Her house is probably messier then yours
*-Quetzalcoat*
> he loves you
@@konnosx1213 I love this so much
@@konnosx1213 while a topless goth girl is tempting, I must follow my heart and go with the good snek
Feathery danger noodle * chuckles *
I'm familiar with Quetzalcoatl because of Persona.
Quetzalcoatl: "Tez, could you not keep ruining the world FOR FIVE MINUTES?!?!"
Tez: "Make me, poser!"
true memes are eternal.
i neef this on a t-shirt
@@Darklord359 Just making sure: That wouldn't be cultural appropriation, right?
Tez: No.
So aztec mythology has a giant snake who’s brother is a dog
And Norse mythology has a giant serpent whose brother is a wolf
Now that You mentioned it.... Wow You right
I’m just glad people like this comment
that one time Loki got pregged by a stallion.
Question, in this video red says that Quetzalcoatl and huitzilopochlt were spontaneously created by um... that fertility god/goddess, but in a previous miscellaneous myth video she says that the two were born from (essentially) Mother Nature... which in this video is represented by that... jacobs latter with mouths on each limbs monster. Is this kinda of a situation similar to Eros? Where Eros is both this primordial entity greater than the gods, but also Aphrodite’s son.
Guess its just part of being totally metal, then.
The rain of jaguars accompanied by "MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW" cracked me up.
It reminds me of SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT
I read the "meows" as the jingle form the meow mix cat food and I'm CRYING
@@sarahamira5732 Now I can't un-hear that!
Idk what sound Jaguars make but cheetahs meow and they look like jaguars so I'm going with this as canon.
Aka my cat in the morning
"Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet."
Noted.
the earth sucks toes.
Hey man, nice icon! I love that movie.
Pantalimon 3 Yup, definitely noted
*Frantically sitting on my bedframe*
Earth-Chan has a foot fetish. Noted.
@@thealientree3821 And is really into vore.
“Our lord the flayed one”? Sounds like a dark souls boss
Now I want a Souls style game based on mezzo American mythology, ala Sekiro
@@Nightfire613 I mean Dark Souls is already basically that they're sacrificing themselves in a fire in order to become the Sun and prevented the darkness from rising not to mention other Mesoamerican like influences I don't think it was intentional on the Creator's part but there is a lot of Mesoamerican stuff in Dark Souls and even more in Bloodborne.
@@DanielSmith-mp4le
Ah, but not aesthetically.
@@festethephule7553 I am more interested in thematically interesting worlds than aesthetically interesting worlds Looking cool only goes so far. And besides I don't think that From Software is is capable of pulling off a mesoamerican souls like, the only video games that I've seen that even reference Aztec mythology with even a shred of accuracy are Persona and Smite and that last one sucks.
@@DanielSmith-mp4le
Who said anything about From Software? They don't have a monopoly on souls-likes.
The sun: exists
Tezcatlipoca: *anger noises*
The other gods: oh shit, here we go again.
World: ends
Francesca Patti Hotel: Trivalgo
Especially Quetzalcoatl: "Ah, shit! Here we go again. Worst time of the new era: new sun, Tez relapse. And I ain't left the humans for 5 years! But Tez won't give a shit"
Egg
*Tonatiuh has entered the chat*
Tonatiuh and huitzilopochtli: not so fast tezcatlipoca
We kind of stopped worrying about the sun. I mean, It's an eldrich abomination by all standards:
- Looking at it burns your eyes and causes damage,
- Old beyond human race,
- Shapeless giant floating through space, flogging it's fire tentacles
- Always screaming, yet nobody can hear it
- We used to worship it... Like a lot.
- Actually mindless.
Our lovecraftian Sol
@@camramaster Our cute friend-shaped ball of torment
- Constantly showers us with deadly rays, some of which are repelled by the giant barrier created by an ancient creatures
-It's literally a nuclear furnace.
-True color (white) which cannot be grasped from our puny planet.
-Will end as an even _larger_ sphere of over-heated plasma (this being ionized _gas_) big enough to swallow Earth in a single bite, then a tiny ball of "burnt" iron/etc.
-Literally all (almost all?) life on Earth is extremelly dependant on it.
-It's influence goes a distance equal to that of light traveled... in a year.
-Has the capacity to fry computing equipment.
Edit: youtube format, added last one.
I remember hearing somewhere that the noise the sun produces is so loud that if we could hear it, it would cause physical injury
So, the Aztec gods were basically different game developers having discourse over the same game
"ThE wOrLd Is A sImUlAtIoN" -I don't know, some degenerate
Final Fantasy XV Behind the Scenes Production (2006-2016)
Or a bunch of siblings playing with and breaking the figures their big brother put together and keeps having to fix.
Just like the Anthem developers, explains why our world is so damn boring and grindy.
It's a bunch of kids on a shared Minecraft creative server.
...And they all discovered command blocks.
This myth in a brief sentence: “Dammit, Tezcatlipoca!”
Exactly
SyrinxPriest2112 honestly....... I damn right agree
True
Tlaloc has it rough.
Tetzlalipoca seduces his first wife and harasses his second.
He seems a bit like a Loki type to me.
"Dips the bones in his blood"
I like how you avoid mentioning where the blood came from. For those not in the know, Quetzalcoatl stuck a thorn in his penis and bled all over the bones.
This is my favorite creation myth so I remember that detail off the top of my head.
Omg lol smh I don't know rather to say if that's sweet and wholesome or disgusting so I'll say both.
Care to explain how a serpent has dong?
@@dreameater8548 Actual snakes have penises. Hemipenises, actually, so double dongs.
I'm confused. Did you just assume that snakes don't have penises? And then not check? I don't understand why you would do this.
@@Clawdragoons i have reread this now and I can explain it
It was 4 in the morning and I was not thinking straight
Also, I'm studying Biology so I actually know snakes have something penis-like to procreate
I can't even begin to comprehend how high I was last night sorry
@@dreameater8548 No big deal, we all have our moments. Sleepy brains do silly things.
Aztec Mythology: * exists *
H.P. Lovecraft: * horrified screaming *
Anything: * exists *
H.P. Lovecraft: * horrified screaming *
@@BLZ231 Anything that isn't his hometown of Providence Rode Island: * exists *
H.P. Lovecraft: * horrified screaming *
Modern Providence, Rhode Island: *Exists*
H.P. Lovecraft: *Horrified Screaming*
Brown people: *exist*
H.P. Lovecraft: *horrified screaming*
Math: *exists*
H.P. Lovecraft: (Scream filled screaming)
All takes is one guy to screw up a group project
Hayden C all it takes is one guy to do a group project
@@brennanlatham9188 But then it's not a group project
IN MORE WAY THEN ONE!!!!!!
@Hipster Bee so I'm guessing your new nick name is
Tezcatlipoca???
@Hipster Bee wow!!!
So who's the rest of tezcatlipoca???
So the earth itself is an unimaginably huge eldritch monstrosity that constantly craves living sacrifices, while humanity has ended several times over, each time in a different way, including countless living jaguars falling from the sky, endless draught followed by raining fire, and then *the sun crying torrential tears of blood for 52 years straight* . And there's a dude who tears off his own skin on a regular basis. The Aztecs were not fucking around
Are we sure we are reading Aztec mythology, and not something out of H.P. Lovecraft.
Azteces where about that metal life
How badass is the title “Our Lord the Flayed One”
Fun fact, if the Aztecs needed to sacrifice one person per day to satiate their gods, they killed enough people that we'll be running on their surplus for thousands of years.
Greeks: Dude, we are metal as fuck! We literally have an entire God dedicated to war!
Norse: Pfft, so? Almost half of our Gods are war Gods, and we even have one that uses a hammer to make LIGHTENING!
Aztecs: ...........*throws in the Flayed God* *smirks at the looks of terror the others are giving them* Now then, how's about you ladies go get daddy another beer.
"Our Lord the Flayed One?" The Aztecs had no chill.
our lord the crucified one
I see that the Boltons got out of Westeros.
eat the meat and blood of our messias -christians
@@wessmoore7894 They probably worshiped the Flayed One before the Starks came along.
@@usermaatrasetepenre4125 and what of it? Maybe spiritual cannibalism is just our culture k? Lol Christianity is a lot more metal when you actually compare and contrast with other religions. Like our God is brutally tortured and dies horribly his abuses propped up corpse is our symbol and we pseudo cannibalize him by drinking his blood and eating his flesh, and we'rejust like seems fine to me!
I remember watching a Viking historical movie years ago i think it had hammer in the title(if you know the name pls tell me)During the opening narration the viking chief talks about the new Christians coming in to their land "eating flesh drinking blood barbaric" and that line has stuck with me foryears
- a Christian
I like to imagine that the whole "four are called the Tezcatlipocas but only one is named Tezcatlipoca" is kind of like the Mario bros situation. They’re called the Mario bros but only one has Mario as a first name. So their names might be something like "Tezcatlipoca Tezcatlipoca", "Xipe Totec Tezcatlipoca", "Huitzilopochtli Tezcatlipoca", and "Quetzalcoatl Tezcatlipoca", like how Mario is called "Mario Mario" and Luigi is called "Luigi Mario". It makes sense (at least to me) considering that they’re all brothers.
unrelated, but I was very surprised when I learned that Mario's last name was Mario.
@@DeltaOdyssey if I remember right that whole thing came from the Mario Bros Movie. People then joked about it for years until Nintendo one day just decided to basically make it canon. It's essentially a canon meme.
@@dank_smirk2ndchannel200 before that, I thought his last name was supposed to be video, since his original name was supposed to be Mr. Video, and since another one of his titles was "jumpman", I thought his full name was "Mario Jumpman Video".
@@dank_smirk2ndchannel200 i personally like to think that they had a competition to see who get's to choose the name and tez ended up winning
Yeah, Mario's canon name is Mario Jumpman Mario... Nintendo is weird
Rain of jaguars sounds like one of the most epic apocalypses
That sound like a JRPG attack.
it only works because they are cats and fall on their feet, if it was a wolf rain or other non-feline animal they would just die on the groun and skill people that forgot their umbrellas
It also sounds like a cool band name and dibs
Its the mystical jaguar of Hogwarts, of course, of course
It’s metal as hell XD
I just love the idea of this all powerful serpent god getting pissed off and walking down to the underworld to just get all of his humans back.
He’s just like “the shit I do because of Tezcalipoca”
“Us-dammit I hate stairs”
the snake just going down the stairs into the basement (underworld) and giving tezcalipoca the finger as he goes down
@@leonardorolingstella8554 Hold on... Quetzalcoatl is a snake. How exactly would he give Tezcalipoca the finger?
@@doo_lissdu_lighost6133 i mean... he has a tail
@@leonardorolingstella8554 BUT WHERE ARE THE FINGERS
"The firth world ends in an earthquake"
2020: *write that down write that down!!*
well, dammit.
Check ✔️ Had one in California a few weeks ago
2021 will still have the same problems (or at least some of them will take more than a year to solve).
@@phoebeahn8941 East coast too. I apparently slept through it.
Jokes on you we survived
I just realized that Tezcatlipoca starts all of the conflicts, because he's the god of conflict
"Blood sacrifices keep the earth from eating your feet" WELL THATS TERRIFYING
Edit: thank you for over 1k likes
Take a chair
Can’t eat me if I’m in a chair
@@TheWholesaleHow what if it eats the chair
@@beccataylor1245 take another chair
@@mothersandfuckersofthejury5416 everything has to touch the ground eventually
The earth: **Earthquake**
Aztec gods: stfu already we said we'l feed you when it's dinner time.
The Earth in these myths sounds like a cross between an eldritch slumbering horror and my cat batting at me every fifteen minutes, I swear...
@@robinchesterfield42 that's why they are not favorite
Aztec Gods: So how many times do you want to destroy the world?
Tezcatlipoca: *Y E S*
4:00 I never understood why she got so upset at that minor insult. until my teacher said I was faking my historical/mythological knowledge and I cried.
Oof
1:19 "Hey humans, I bring you food so you don't starve!"
"Yay, a god that cares for u-"
"Oh, and also war, plagues and conjunctivitis"
"Wut"
I read that and was like "So basically Nurgle, right?"
@@hex37 So the Aztecs were literally Chaos worshippers...
Purge the heretics! For the Emperor!/s
"Here is the knowledge about Agriculture. Now go and kill each other for fertile land!"
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!1
Wow xipe totec
Sinkholes are just the Earth's way of saying "Feed me, Seymour!"
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Ah, superintendent Quetzalcoatl, I was just.. stretching my calves on the windowsill, care to join me?
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Tezcalipoca?
It’s not smoke, is steam! Steam from the sacrifices! Mmm, sacrifices
Quetzalcoatl flies out
"I am just a big crocodile mother from primordial space , and you got me fine starved "
Ah a PJ and Heroes of Olympus reference!!
Xipe Totec: That one god everyone thinks is scary and the one with the braincell
Tezcatlipoca: The trickster bipolar sometimes cool sometimes screws up one
Quetzalcoatl: The Prometheus and AWWW HUMANS one
Huitzilopotchli: The jock who drinks respect mother juice and sometimes has the braincell
Tlaloc: The nerd antisocial one who may or may not had been there also.
(I added Tlaloc because in some myths he was the 4th son of Ometeotl instead of Huitzilopotchli so it seemed right)
🤣 Nice.
Cipactli: Obligatory evil Satan-like god.
You forgot the beautiful cinnamon roll Chalchiuhtlicue. Plz no bulli.
@@graememontrose1741 Best girl... I mean, godess.
So basically it's not Satan trying to eat my feet when I turn the lights off in my room, it's a primordial Eldritch alligator that became the earth? Sounds about right
'Let's file that under yikes'
That describes 90% of all mythology.
Good thing woman bleed alot anyway, would this be the Aztec's reason for why woman have their monthly cycle? Just a thought
KnittingGirl28 let’s file that under yikes.
No no, more like “ holy applesauce who the heck though this was a good idea”
@@tobygreen6661 W-wha?
KnittingGirl28 , holy applesauce is my substitute for curse words
“Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet” I need someone to hear that with no context just so I can see their reaction
Same!! 😂
Well, you could tell someone that tomorrow. Just sayin'
No, better, we need someone to say that with the same nonchalant cadence as Lilo would.
Idea for everyone: Go up to some rando and just say it super casually. Much like you’d say a hello. Then walk off. JUST F*CKING WALK OFF! And leave them to ponder their existence!
Update: I decided to do this with two of my friends. The first just said “What?” While the second immediately went into a rant of how and why the planet would eat your feet without acknowledging the blood sacrifices, so yeah
The "you want rain? I'll give you rain!" Thing surprised me simply because I was expecting a giant flood, not fire rain.
Important to note the Aztecs lived in a zone with tons of earthquakes. So of course they would make it important to their mythology. Neat stuff
WHY IS QUETZALCOATL THE CUTEST LITTLE GIANT SNEK I'VE EVER SEEN
IKR???
Because he tries so hard. He's basically trying to herd cats who keep destroying the world. Definitely my favorite deity.
Well that's an easy one. It's because he's flouffy. ^ _ ^
@@justinjacobs1501 If said cat was a jaguar that likes pushing humans off of the table that is earth.
TheAtlantisman play smite he’s better looking in that
But everything changed when Tezcatlipoca attacked....
Which one?
@@timothymclean You mean which time.
That's when the Avatar dissapeared
Again, again, again, and again
Apparently he's the Loki of the Aztec pantheon...
I am both curious and terrified at what geological events must’ve taken place to inspire this mythology...
**_WHEEZE_**
X'D
Yeah, yeah you have a good point. =)
Eehh. . . no but seriously you do have a good point; what the Hell happened that caused those myths ta form??? 8|
I remember the great jaguar rain of 1338
Mexico and Central America is a very seismically active area and sits on 4 different tectonic plates. (For comparison most of Europe and Asia are on one plate, the Eurasian plate) The Yucatan doesn't have rivers for fresh water, they have a network of underground limestone caverns. When one of these caverns develops an opening to the sky, it's called a cenote (seh-NO-tay). New cenotes can form at any time and there aren't any of the signs you're approaching one like there would be for a lake, river, or swamp.
I feel like it's not one specific event, it's an explaining story of different natural disasters that can happen, like drought, Earthquakes, floods esc. But I have no idea what that rain of fire is about
@@fruity4820 Volcanic eruption probably
2:45
So this is how the first sun dies
With thunderous jaguars
Oh my fucking god you’re right 😂
Huh. It's nice to see gods stepping down voluntarily after they destroy everything.
"Ok, my bad... probably best to let someone else take over...".
Better than most real life political leaders in our history tbh
@@angeliparraguirre7329 Be careful about posting stuff like that. Some people might interpret that as [insert jab at politician that I really like here]
If only the christian god had done us the courtesy...
@@willnash7907 For who to take his place exactly? Diffrent pantheon where only one god is Godlike and the rest are all practically better than human humans.
@@willnash7907 Yeah no... I'm an agnostic (unless I'm high on caffeine apparently). I find anyone who thinks they have God figured out laughable, but taking random potshots at any particular religion is still uncalled for and just inviting people to rage at you in the comments. So don't do that.
"blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet."
I've found my yearbook quote
I sincerely hope you use this. Personally, I think I'm going for "Let's file that under Yikes and move on."
You guys have much better ideas than me... What I think I went with was a Steve Jobs quote or something lame...
This is the thing monotheism misses out on: the sheer, unbridled pettiness driving all major history in polytheism.
Ehhhhh I feel like the God of the Jews, Christians and Muslims can be a bit petty sometimes, look at Moses, man loses his temper and can't enter paradise!
@@nobodybroda3826I'm sorry where does it say Moses didn't get to Paradise?? If this is about the incident with the rock, he wasn't allowed to enter Israel, not Paradise. Moses was the greatest prophet, according to the last verse of Deuteronomy so I'd be extremely surprised to see a source for him not entering Paradise
@@ArielSubotzky isn’t the point of monotheism to save people from that.
I mean, the monotheistic god is petty too, but it loses something due to him not having another god of more or less equal force counteracting him
Remember that time Jesus cursed a tree for the crime of no fruits
I can’t get over the fact Tezcatlipoca ended the world because he stole someone’s wife. Dude was so smooth and had so little care for consequences that he inadvertently wiped out all of humanity.
Tezcatlipoca: In today's forecast, it's raining Jaguars and...more Jaguars.
Clahloc: and next week there is a high chance of burning fire rain of death
Chalchiuhtlicue: And next week a high chance of drowning in blood for the next 52 years
Quetzalcoatl: Guys! We talked about this!
Tezcatlipoca: *currently keeps creating his jaguars army to prepare for more weather stuff*
This is like me rewriting the creation mythos for my stories over and over again
You mean we're not supposed to keep rewriting our creation myths? (Still working on the creation myths for my made up world. Got how the Sun and Moon were made, The Creation of the Sentient Races (and why Humans have such short lifespans compared to everyone else), Explanation for the huge Caldera in middle of the primary continent (and why the planet's axis is tilted. Let's just say one of the gods has jealousy and anger issues), and finally That Time The God With Jealousy and Anger Issues Tried To Crush/Strangle The Planet (and why we have continents.)
Mood
@@jackielinde7568 that sound amazing wtf
Be careful or else you might end up like the Aztec where the resets are canon.
Just use them all!
A book or movie featuring these characters would be really cool. Imagine Cipactli reawakening after centuries, and the four Tezcalipocas having to save the world.
Someone call Rick Riordan.
This sound like a cool idea
There's an animated series called onyx equinox I think is on Crunchyroll
I’m still waiting for another season, I had a great time with that show
Obsidian and Blood trilogy by Aliette de Bodard is set in the Aztec Empire with the gods being real
"Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet" Can we get that on a t-shirt??? XD
I imagine some gods from the many worlds once met for a friendly chat.
Odin: "So, how's your worldbuilding going, Quetzacoatl?"
Quetz: "Bad."
Odin: "Really? How come? Did you kill the giant monster?"
Quetz: "Kinda... We still have to feed him with blood sacrifices"
Izanagi: "What do you mean?! At least tell me your worshippers are in line!"
Quetz: "... We kinda had to start over."
Brahma: "What. Did. You. Do?!"
Quetz: "We kinda screwed up with the whole sun thing... 5 times"
Izanagi has left the Pantheon cafe
Odin has left the Pantheon cafe
Brahma has left the Pantheon cafe
Quetz: "... This is why the Western worlds don't like us."
Correction: "this is why the kinda western worlds don't like us"
Ch I mean, Hindu deities creates and ends universes in perpetuity, so I don’t see them not understanding this plight.
yeah but Quetz and Crew seem to be wrecking the world on accident every time
The ultimate "design by comittee" creation myth.
Ok but Izanagi doesn't really have any room to talk. Remember that Amaterasu got so offended once that she took her sun into a cave and had to be seduced back out of it
Hey, just in case you guys were wondering, Red actually missed out on a God who helped Quetzalcoatl save the bones from the Underworld,
He was helped by Xolotl, the Eyeless Dog of Dawn. God of Fire, Lightning, Twins, Deformity, and the planet Venus.
Born as twin with Quetzalcoatl, where Quetzalcoatl just kind of popped out with him when he was born, Xolotl was born with reversed feet, and ragged ears, and was considered ugly, even by Aztec God standards.
To begin with, Xolotl once found a Bone, and brought it to the Gods as a present, where they sprinkled it with blood, helping to create the first Boy and Girl.
When the other Gods decided to sacrifice themselves to help kick start humanity beyond the boy and girl, Xolotl saw all his friends seemingly kill themselves, and wept so much that his eyes fell out. And when Ehecatl, the Aztec Executioner decided that everyone needed to die for humanity, Xolotl was scared, and tried hiding. First turning into a two headed maize plant ( Xolotl ), a double headed maguey plant ( Mexolotl ) and finally, an amphibious lizard, or Axolotl. And despite being a great hider, he was eventually found, sacrificed, and then brought back to life, with his body being split into these three things, and given to humans.
And, when Quetzalcoatl needed to get the bones of humanity from the Underworld, to help with the fifth version of the Sun, Xolotl joined him, and lead him down to where the Bones were being kept. Fighting off the monsters of the Underworld, and protecting Quetzalcoatl.
When Quetzalcoatl saw that the new Sun needed to be watched over constantly, to ensure that it wouldn't end up killing everyone again. He set Xolotl as it's guard from Dusk until Dawn. So, by day it was watched over by the Moon and Stars, by night, it was made to travel through the Underworld, where Xolotl would both protect it on it's journey, and make sure it didn't get into any trouble. And, as a bonus, would often lead the souls of those who had died with him as they entered the Underworld.
So, why was Xolotl given so much flak, despite helping to both create, and save humanity?
Well, as a deformed, cowardly God, he is a pretty good embodiment of what the Aztecs thought of dogs. Immoral and filthy creatures. They still believed that dogs held a purpose, but they were only really loved for by the lower classes, and not by the Aztec Hierarchy. They basically held the same opinion as Eustace Bagge from Courage the Cowardly Dog.
(edit) And, come to think of it, a scared but good meaning Dog, who is hated by his owners, and spends his time fighting off unthinkable horrors and monsters. Huh, Courage is apparently our Aztec Saviour.
Anywho, just thought you guys might like to know more about the Cowardly Dog who helped create us, twice.
Praise be to Courage.
Good boy
Heh, Courage the Cowardly God
Tactical reply so I can find this again. That was some cool history, guy! Thanks for sharing it.
Replying to find it later. I really enjoy this mythology and want to keep this for later!
Thanks for that tidbit, much appreciated!
I love that the Aztecs had the balls to call the earth a vicious hungry monster, while mostly everyone else dotes on it as a mother and life giver. Metal.
I mean the greeks did it too (fuck you gaia)
have you met Gaia? she spends most of her time making monsters.
@@irishmanfromengland25 That's incidental. They aren't monsters to her! lol
@@stabin42 they're objectively dangerous and half of them are abominations of combined animals.
@@irishmanfromengland25 But does Gaia think they are monsters? Or are they just her kids?
"Let's file that under yikes and move on" LMAO That's my new favorite phrase. Also the look on Quetzalcoatl's face when he goes to get the bones is amazing.
"So it's a five minute video?"
"Well, unless you pause to read all the text."
"How long is it then?"
"Twenty minutes."
MattheJ1 unless you can read them in the time given ;)
What do you mean you have to pause it to read all that.
Which Sun is the Wukong?
Wait, wrong video.
though maybe not, mayhaps those humans turned into monkeys didn't die but made it to chinaland.
@@mmeers89 It would explain why Sun Wukong is basically an angsty teen. Lol.
interesting theory....wait, didn't wukong hatch from a rock? THE THEORY NOOOOOOO
-enter a horrible Red imitation- This time on journey to the west: Sun Wukong journeys a little too far to the west and becomes a creator god of the Aztecs!
Loki: “I think I’ll do mischief today”
Tezcatlipoca: “Nice! Want some jaguars for that?”
Honestly they would be very good friends.
Eris: Have you tried making the gods fight over a golden apple? Never gets old.
Ah yes the four tezcatlipoca: Santana, Wamuu, Esidisi, and Kars
Favorite jojo?
Awaken starts playing when their onscreen.
*menacing*
RUN AWAY!
AWAKEN MY MASTERS!!
AYYAYAYA
Your interpretation of Quetzalcoatl is so cute.
💯💯💯
The Bard Have you seen how they've made Hades look? He's the cutest ever!
He really was the cutest god of the official pantheon of the Aztec empire. That is, the only one that didn't demand bloody sacrifice.
Agi Hammerthief so immediately Quetz is best boi.
@@kabob0077 and Persephone sooooo cuuuutttteeeeee
I feel like that the whole 'the world is actually an Eldritch monster' thing would work great in a psychological horror thing based in myth
Sanodi21 worked pretty well in darkest dungeon
A while back, VaatiVidya came up with the theory that the sequel to Bloodborne would be more Aztec inspired. Both because of the blood sacrifice thing, and because of all the grotesque horrors in their mythology.
I can't lie, I'd love to have that game.
Xenoblade Chronicles already did that with the Bionis.
Transformers also does this with Unicron.
Lovecraft gotcha covered, but we all know what he was like.
I need a shirt that says "Remember to pour one out for Cipactli once in a while. Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet." - Red
Maybe the graphic could be the frame at @ 1:52 .
Yes
Fun fact about Tlaloc, in real life when a big statue of him was found, the archeologists moved it from its original place. And Coincidentally a big rain hit on Mexico City, flooding the capital in a never seen magnitud. Now, Mexico City is common to be rainy, so the city is prepared to prevent any mayor flood on the city. Still the rain that hit that day when they stole the monolith from their people was so tremendous that many parts of the city were flooded.
I am not saying Tlaloc is real, but I am saying that between a boring guy with the power to make water into wine, or a giant feathered snake dragon. I prefer the second option.
they pissed off tlaloc
@@bitchassmoththing I mean, dude can't catch a break, with that piece of crap legless dude taking his first wife, and other people making his second wife depressed, people just hate him.
Ah yes the boring guy that makes water into wine.
Thats like saying the snake that somehow tripped and fell. Or the cucked rain god and crybaby goddess.
Bitch ass never read the revelations.
Or the times his opponents get dunked on when he speaks parables
Thats not even mentioning the non canon versions or the ancient version before the Bible.
The Aztec Myth is fun but you didn't need to insult another religion or myth because of your ignorance.
“Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet” -Red 2019
Call me the world cause I'll eat your feet
Can we please get this on a Shirt Red, please?
the earth sucks toes
He must have loved the end of the forth sun
@@anonymousoff-brand7538 The earth is a bottom.
Kids! Time to change The Floor is Lava! game into The Floor is an Eldritch Abomination!
I'm using that now, and no one can stop me
I read one version of the story in my Chicano/a history class, but this really helped with visualizing the story. The translation we got for Huitzilopochli was "hummingbird on the left," which basically had to do with your heart being on the left side of your chest and hummingbirds having lots of energy. Isn't mythology fun?
Xipe Totec: exists
Ramsay Bolton: *sweats nervously*
The lord of Light, the seven and the old gods: are we a joke to you?
Damn!The Aztecs had some pretty "interesting" myths
HOI
That good native heritage wont just stay down
@@mofthemoth5755 captain?
"Define 'interesting'!" "Oh god, oh god, we're all going to die?"
More like metal af!
so... no one **look left look right**
okay then **rub hand**
*ahem* PRAISE THE SUN!!!!!!!!
\[T]/
[*]
/ \
*suns (except the second one)
Hooray for the sun god! / He is a fun god! / Ra! Ra! Ra!
Which one?
All hail the Aton
LODE AL SOLE!
SI!
I would love a fanfic about Quetzalcoatl and Tezcalipoca having an actually good brother relationship. Thor & Loki style.
HA! Like that would ever happen
You forgot about the myth of Chanticleer, a rooster who thought the sun wouldn't rise without him so he went to the city to pursue a singing career.
"Blood Sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet."
I'ma use that to spice up a conversation at a completely random and hopefully inappropriate moment
Yeah, we probably all need to get on that...
Well if you don't value your continued survival I suppose you could bring it up with a girlfriend when she's on her period.
Nicholas Walsh Maybe that’s why the planet hasn’t eaten us yet
@@leaderunith4l324 perhaps but I'm not going to suggest that to anyone that can physically reach me.
@@nicholaswalsh4462 Oof
aztec mythology sounds like something that was written by hp lovecraft
But more Metal.
Holy shit, imagine if he have read it...
Dude... What if all this time the Aztecs were just being driven insane by this monster in order to make them provide it with blood sacrifices!? IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!
@@ckaren001araujoh.9 And less racist.
Ckaren001 Araujo H. Old Lovecraft would have loved the mythology of the brown people who somewhat fit his depiction of cultish lower race without ever been bothered to research to know that their harsh environment and hostile neighbors forged such a civilization of considerable and essential achievements despite dabbling in gore human sacrifice.
"let's file that under *YIKES* and move on." This is my new favorite quote for everything ever.
“YOU WERE MY BROTHER TEZCATLIPOCA”
Jaguars are falling from the sky, eating peoples faces off and I'm just out there with my arms wide open going "KITTIES!"
What got me was the "meow meow meow" thing all over the screen while that was happening. It made me imagine an apocalypse of raining hungry jaguars, to the tune of the Meow Mix jingle.
@Marin Hugge We all know our Housecats would eat our faces off, if only they could open the Tuna cans themself or were big enough to eat it in one sitting.
Not mentioned: Quetzalcoatl gets the blood by stabbing himself in the testicles. Only a true bro would stab himself in the testicles for humanity.
Choose a best friend
*-Tezcalipoca*
> Life of the party
> Pet jaguar
> Prank mastermind
*-Coyolxauqui*
> Topless hot girl
> Goth and misunderstood
> Mommy issues
*-Coatlicue*
> Innocent but strong
> Casual and chill as fuck
> Is your mom
*-Hitzlipotchli*
> Gym bro
> Will get in a fight (and win) for you
> Uses human hearts as steroids
*-Quetzalcoatl*
> he loves you
Wait what
Where and how does he stab himself there?
Let’s file that under yikes and move on
3:42 AUSTRALIAN FIRES (but a bit worse)
This is soooo wildly different from our creation story! The Mēxihcah story is WAY more metal, I’ve gotta say haha.
I’m Anishinaabe (Chippewa or Ojibwe) btw, and I would love it if you could explore some more “new world” mythoi; not an easy task, I know, especially given colonization of historical accounts and the general historical lack of formal writing systems for most northern groups.
chi-nimiigwechiwendaan gimazinaateseg 🥰
I'm assuming the last part of your comment is something in Anishinaabemowin (if I got that right), what does it mean? :)
I did try looking it up and found some site that talks about how the language works, but couldn't find how to actually translate it - another assumption being that it's a language that works with compound words (since those are some long-ass words), and I have no clue which separate words to pick from that and if that would even work to translate it properly
🎶It's raining Jaguars hallelujah it's raining in Jaguars🎶
(And fire and blood for 52yrs)
'I'm going to get, absolutely soaking wet'
for both situations,
_euughhh_
@@coolgreenbug7551 lol xD
2:12 Now I know why HP Lovecraft is so afraid of the world, especially the ocean.
Whelp, we've figured it out, everyone!
But he isn't afraid of everything, just everything that isn't where he grew up.
Obviously there’s fewer mouths under Providence, RI. Only like... seventeen.
LMFAO YAS
In Maori, The sun rushes to fast across the sky so Maui catches in with his brothers and threatens it. Also Maui’s fish hook is actually his grandmas jaw bone...
One of my favorite things about the black Tezcatlipoca, (the actual Tez) is that as a god of conflict one of his titles was "the enemy of both sides"...acknowledging his role as the chaos of warfare. Brilliant stuff.
I never thought I'd hear about Quetzalcoatl scoring a homerun with the sun but there you go
HOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEE RUUUUUUUUUN! THE PUBLIC IS SHIELDING FROM THE JAGUAR RAIN AS QUETZALCOATL CELEBRATES THE HIS AMAZING SHOT! A LARGE CAT HAS ENTERED THE COMMENTATOR ROOM! WE'RE GOING TO
(a roar is heard)
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
*Furious Vuvuzelas*
AAAAAND IT IS OUTTA THERE!
"The earth is an eldritch abomination that wishes to consume everything"
Literally the plot of Darkest Dungeon
holy cow you're right ! XD
All I can think is how the Aztecs out lovecrafted Lovecraft.
Pretty sure Lovecraft "borrowed" from the Aztecs.
"Let's file this under yikes and move on."
Gods, I love these people.
3:30 Never seen a ball with so many expressions before.
" pour one out for Chalchiuhtlicue"
or/and
" blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet"
I need those on a t-shirt.
someone get on this.
"Let's file that under yikes and move on." needs a shirt too
Pour one out for Cipactli.. You did so much more work than you needed to, my dude.
Wow, who knew Aztec mythology got closest of all mythologies to the actual real prehistory, with the endless amounts of disasters that is... and Lovecraftian horrors... probably...
I mean, that is impressive. Props to them.
King Ammonite rip off
and multiple suns. out sun and heavy elements like gold and phosphorous come from the explosion of an even bigger star that came before the solar system.
King Ammonite Mexicans
i think the abrahamic genesis had the evolution of different animals (first fish, then 'behemoths', then ordinary animals and finally humans) with the exception of birds.
I thought Jesus had a cool nickname in "our lord and saviour", but Xipe Totec top it, I mean damn is his nickname "our lord the flayed one" is metal
There's a band from Mexico named after him. Their music is a mixture of death metal and pre-hispanic music. Some of their songs are in nahuatl (the aztec language).
Our Lord the Crucified One sounds pretty neat too but people don't use that one so yeah Xipe Totec wins in terms of metal nicknames
I came back to watch some of this Aztec stuff again (cause I forgot the specifics) for backstory after watching a series on Crunchyroll called "Onyx Equinox". A lot of things that happened in that show make more relevant sense now. I'm also hoping they manage to make another season for it, cause they literally only showed Quetzalcoatl in his big snake form at the absolute very end as an ominous closing scene.
Humans: Worships gods a few minutes late.
Gods: FIRE RAIN, BLOOOOOOD, WHOOOOOSH,
Humans: wtf
"Personally, I think that midichlorians deepen the lore in a compelling way."
"You take that back!"
I'll admit, I laughed
Was reading comments looking for someone else to have noticed this. Am not disappointed. Thanks.
Also, "You were my BROTHER!" Had me howling...
What got me was:
"That's... less cute"
"Ooh, that's a new obscene gesture!
I'm gonna use that"
But they do, don’t they?
@@Quintusblake i suppose so
Every part of the depiction of Quetzalcoatl going to the underworld is amazing, from the *grumble, grumble* to the underworld god's reaction, to Quetzalcoatl falling and yelling "If only I could flyyyy"
The 5 ages of man is an interesting idea carried by many cultures, like the Greeks, Golden age, silver age, Bronze Age, Age of Heroes, and Iron Age. Which also has different humans in each age
This is amazing.
I police in California, and my school is doing a blood drive with the slogan “donate your blood to save lives”. I feel like they maybe didn’t mean what I now think they mean.
I mean as long as they aren't killing people to get the blood its fine.
Didn't you ever wonder where all that blood goes after everyone and their dogs rush to give after a crisis? It has an _expiration date;_ they can't use _all_ of it _just_ performing surgeries and reviving anemics!
But the Red Cross does not _waste,_ oh no...
"See, the Earth likes it when you spill blood for it. But don't spill your own blood, you're gonna need that!"
I want the people who made Dark Souls, Bloodborne, and Sekiro to make a game based on Aztec mythology. It would be awesome, in the most horrifying way.
I've actually been wondering if they were planning to make a Bloodborne sequel set in the Americas.
Kathy Kat it wasn't Aztec, but I remember reading a mesoamerican myth where a guy jumped into a fire to turn into the sun.
*sigh* Well we can dream, can't we? :3
What would they have to change?
God of War anyone?
"Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet."
That one had me in stitches. Hilarious episode!
That thing where you pick up speech patterns from people you interact with often and you finally find the source... Finally, I found where the "Let's file that under yikes and move one" came from
I love you Red