This isn't just you. But I don't care about beard oil I've always seen it a little bit scammy that's always a little overpriced and it doesn't really do much. But I understand guys have a lot of pride in their beards. I don't get it but that's probably because I can't grow a beard but I understand it's a thing. I just think it's as ridiculous as some of the makeup girl spend money on . But I definitely didn't need like a 3-minute add of his beard oil when I don't ever use or buy beard oil. And then I had to think about What the products for who it's for And the audience is directed to . I mean this is a very neutral kind of Channel anyone can watch it it's not like it's a beauty Channel showing you how to put on your makeup or you're there for the makeup. I don't know maybe I need to do more self-care maybe I just don't give a $0.02 for this kind of stuff. I kind of find a lot of beauty and a lot of these oils and stuff is more gimmicks For the money you pay into them. Don't get me wrong there are still very legitimate beauty products and self care products. But maybe it's cuz I live in the US that I'm just sick of all this advertisement and I'm assuming someone's trying to scam me out of something right off the bat especially when it's like a four minute Add it just makes me think about the product What it is and whether or not I would buy it from another company or even need it.
Oh, I thought I was meant to be pouring it over my bowls of Magic Spoon. I've already given it 9/10, I just thought they should make the bottles a bit bigger.
@@brainblaze6526 I hope that you deducted the cost of it from his food & water allowance, no point in you coming out at a loss that would be bad business.
G'day Tiny, I wonder what problems Simon would have if he'd ever seen one of those terrible kids' 'cartoon' series, of the early 60s, where they used to superimpose some irksome, moving human lips over each cartoon character's mouth. I forget the name of the cartoon in question but it was set on a sailing ship where the Midshipman was called 'Master Bates'. Do you get it, Simon? Cheers, BH
Back in the 80s I was a computer repair tech. Wang word processors were a thing back then. I think I had to work on them a couple times. They were the subject of so many jokes... "ABC can't get their Wang up", "I guess they need my help to their Wang up", etc. Sometimes it's hard to control our inner 12 year old 😅
I can only imagine a lone bobby valiantly smacking Quidzilla with his truncheon, then, when he has no swings left, hurling it at the beast. Oh, and many Reliant Robins being stomped into shards of fiberglass (fibreglass?).
@@brainblaze6526 you are totally right, simon's mom if uou are reading this please get him lots of cocaine, or maybe even the Enron Trademark. Much better use of time and money. I got your back Simon.
@Rachel Colvin use it onnyour legs after having stayed home all year :P But as a beard haver, i can certainly say that beard oil is quite nice to have when you want to look fancy :)
I think the people who wanted to sue Fiat over the creepy stalker ad campaign were suing over lost relationships, broken marriages, and things of that nature. If it didn't interrupt your life at all, you're right, Simon. There would be no loss to sue for. But then there are people who have legitimate stalker fears, and the prospect of a new stalker is terrifying. Short answer: there certainly IS something to sue over, even if it is a bit less tangible than something a bit easier for you to process.
I had a stalker for three years. If I got this letter in the mail, I would immediately lock my house, call the cops, and panic-text my whole extended family that I love them. 😅
Simon is slowly taking over the world, it won’t be long we’ll be driving the latest sports car “The Simon” in our Simon jeans, t-shirt, and blazer that we bought at the Simon shopping Center heading to our home in the Simon Whistler Hills subdivision.
Checked out the oils... "The Basic Blaze", "The Freshest Blaze", "Citrus Blaze"... No "Business Blaze"?!? Guess that's why this video is Epic Advertising Fails.
Say what you want about that Quiznos ad, but it's literally still the only reason I think of that shop as existing. And that "We love these subs, cuz they are gooood tooooo ussssss" thing is STILL in my head from like 20 years ago.
Those quiznos ads had to have been on the air for more than a month. I remember that shit quite vividly. I never even knew it was a quiznos ad. I just remember the terrifying deformed rabbits screaming unintelligible shit at me like a demon on crack.
When I saw this I could still remember an old "Far Side" comic still applicable today (if not more so) - It had a person at a computer and there was a message which instead of "You've got mail." read "You've got spam."
@@brainblaze6526 But streaming content wise Simon is just behind Disney+, so they are competition already! Even Netflix can't keep up with the speed at which Simon pumps out new content! Soon I hope to see Simon as the video equivalent of Wikipedia!
Back in the days of Wang computers there were signs or posters that proclaimed "Happiness is when your Wang is up!" Of course this was back when keeping your computer running on whatever software was available was kind of hit and miss.
Another advertising fail I know of is the soda ads here in Sweden every December. Coca cola and Pepsi are adamantly trying to outcompete a traditional holiday drink with little success. And it isn't particularly strange that they are trying, soft drinks drops in sales by about 50% in December as people switch to so called "julmust". (Something that is loosely similar to root beer, but not really...) Coca cola has even attempted to make their own Julmust but with extremely limited success. (Supposed to exist in McDonald's here, but I haven't actually seen it in person yet... I haven't really searched for it though.) The main thing that makes this an epic advertising fail is their annual attempts, year after year after year. Literally loosing millions each time and not getting the message that it is literally part of the culture. On Christmas eve it is almost weird to drink anything else. (unless one drinks Glögg, another traditional drink.)
oh my god that is so funny... I'm Canadian but I speak Swedish and I'm super aware of the cultural stuff and knew that everyone drinks julmust right now, but i had no idea pepsi and coca-cola were pouring millions of kronor into nothing. what kind of drinks have they made in the past?
Yep, it's quite funny to see all these Coca-Cola ads being played on TV, while knowing that it's most likely the month they'll have the lowest sales, but with the highest advertising budget. You just can't beat the tradition of julmust.
Here's the thing we already know these companies get fined millions of dollars and it doesn't hurt them at all. Them doing this intense advertising year after year. This is them brainwashing the Next Generation. It may take 15 years for it to pay off it may take 30. But there are already a well-established business in many parts of the world and drawing to make sure that they have a full grip Advertising with the long game. You want to Breeds familiarity with the product and the advertising every year is going to make younger generation start thinking of that product during this time of the year even if it's only about their poor advertising
Also look into the movie industry and how they actually make it to where the movie itself doesn't make a profit So that way they don't have to pay actors anymore but they hide all the funds or get rid of all the money in marketing. It's a way for businesses to lose money that they profited on and ordered to pay a lower tax .
I just ordered a bottle beardoil from Bearblaze. I already feel like a better person and even though I don't have much facial hair, I am 100 % confident will grow a Beard until the oil arrives. Allegedly.
I really thought Beard Blaze was a joke. I was waiting for a Rickroll but it never came. The hotline on the website is for a legit cosmetics company. I looked through the entire site the whole time I am thinking, "this is an elaborate joke". But it's not a joke! It's for real! So I bought some basic blaze and a brush. My lockdown beard is all sorts of disheveled. Thanks, Simon, I am really running out of places to put any more extravagantly priced stickers.
@@delveling possibly. But ETA is still out there. And within us. He is still speaking only truths. He is waiting for us to discover him, and listen. ETA knows all. ETA is life.
I bought some beard blaze the first time I started to watch this and now I came back to finish since I've got the oil and I love it. Thanks Simon! The Basic Blaze is great!
The Quiznos sub commercial came out when my ex and I were HUGE on the drugs and we became obsessed with the sponge monkeys! Thank you for making this because I can't find anything about them anywhere and really started believing I made it up. You guys are my heroes 😍😍😍 don't do drugs kids 😳
The whole thing comes to a heartwarming conclusion when NatGeo hires Simon to act in and narrate all the new episodes of Locked Up Abroad that feature cocaine. Which will be all of them.
Basement Blaze: Danny’s fiery upstart of becoming a motivational speaker teaching people how to better themselves.... either that or his fiery plan of freedom from Simon’s basement.
Simon,you are beautiful! My husband of 38 years passed away two days before Christmas in 2017.You remind me so much ( and favor each other in features)of him .He had a fantastic beard ,and shaved his head also! Continue the great work!
Everyone: Simon, you always miss the puns. Simon: Not today! Also Simon: misses the most typically British pun, knowing full well it's coming in the next 4 lines.
i was actually really upset when the ads came out that there wasn't an quiznos near me so i could support the company that that used these little gifts from heaven in advertising! i adore them beyond words! i made my ringtone "they got a pepper bar" for about a year.
I did NOT expect to pull up this video and be advertised Simon's very own beard oil... and just so happen to be the target audience! You love to see it. Business Blaze is absolutely one of my favorite channels of all time. All of your channels are great and worth their own weight, but holy shit Business Blaze is just soooo unique.
Sponge Monkeys were as close to "viral" as stuff got in those days ... "We Love the Moon!" was wonderfully bizarre. Somebody got the wild idea to use "Hamster Dance" for an ad, somebody at Quizno's's ad agency saw it and BANG: a bad idea was born.
Oh, yeah. They’d have been considered viral today, too. They were up there with the dancing baby, which also got mainstream thanks to ally mcbeal. Proto-memes are weird.
It wasn't until Simon got confused about why "Wang cares" would be a problem that I even realized he wasn't actually saying "wankers". So Simon was confused about why the stores had a problem with banners saying "Wang cares" while I was confused why Wang would send stores banners that just said "Wankers" for no apparent reason.
I've got to say. I love the dank direction this channel has followed. And a shameless self promoted beard ointment to boot. I think I'll buy some o' that snake oil. Thanks!
Now people won't look at me like I'm insane when I say Simon made my beard wet Okay, they'll still look at me that way, but now I'll have a semi-reasonable explanation.
I'm a simple man, I see Spongemonkeys, I click. I see a video on why Quiznos' marketing directors had to be insane or coked out of their skulls to use them in a commercial, I click. But most importantly of all, I see Business Blaze, I click. This is your best channel. And congratulations on the new product! Also, Simon and the Basement Dwellers would be a great name for a punk band.
I'm not sure if it's Sam trolling you by putting the worst "no context" clip of the video right at the beginning but I laugh my ass off every damn time!!! 🤣
Never knew the They Got A Pepper Bar creatures were called sponge monkeys. My mom loved that ad. I didn't know it did poorly or scared anyone. My mom would sing the song a lot.
'Wang cares,' I can confirm this as I was a young IT guy who worked for Barclays Bank in the late 1990ts when I attended a presentation by a group of Wang reps. I've never witnessed so many IT guys holding back tears and laughter.
First of all: Basic Blaze is sold out. Secondly: I can't actually enter an address outside of the States or Canada even tho the site says you do ship Internationally ._. Thirdly: I need some new beard oil...
"Got a beard? GOOD" Ah yes, yet another unrealistic beauty standard for women.
haha I had a good lol at this.
I mean, lesbian here, I'm sold, where do I get a beard?
@@jessicadayla Well, since you're out of the closet, it's already too late.
Women can grow a different kind of "beard" 😏 I'm sure Simon's oil is safe there...
Lmfao.. wait, it's not "normal" for us ladies to sport a beard!?!
Tell that to my grandmother.
💥 BOOM!! Grandma burn. 💥 top that _Grandpa._
I love the fact that Simon is advertising his own product on a video about advertising fails...
Actually guffawing over here 😂😂
and he fails to mention it's US and Canada only so it's bit of a fail, just like Magic Spoon sponsorship on other Ads Fails videos.
Ad Fails Part XII is going to be reruns of Business Blaze ad reads.
This isn't just you. But I don't care about beard oil I've always seen it a little bit scammy that's always a little overpriced and it doesn't really do much. But I understand guys have a lot of pride in their beards. I don't get it but that's probably because I can't grow a beard but I understand it's a thing. I just think it's as ridiculous as some of the makeup girl spend money on . But I definitely didn't need like a 3-minute add of his beard oil when I don't ever use or buy beard oil. And then I had to think about What the products for who it's for And the audience is directed to . I mean this is a very neutral kind of Channel anyone can watch it it's not like it's a beauty Channel showing you how to put on your makeup or you're there for the makeup. I don't know maybe I need to do more self-care maybe I just don't give a $0.02 for this kind of stuff. I kind of find a lot of beauty and a lot of these oils and stuff is more gimmicks For the money you pay into them. Don't get me wrong there are still very legitimate beauty products and self care products. But maybe it's cuz I live in the US that I'm just sick of all this advertisement and I'm assuming someone's trying to scam me out of something right off the bat especially when it's like a four minute Add it just makes me think about the product What it is and whether or not I would buy it from another company or even need it.
I really thought it was a joke at first...and then I realized it's a serious thing lol.
Go Simon you get that oil money son!
Beard Blaze: Not tested on animals, but probably tested on Danny
I flooded the basement with it.
Oh, I thought I was meant to be pouring it over my bowls of Magic Spoon.
I've already given it 9/10, I just thought they should make the bottles a bit bigger.
@@brainblaze6526 I hope that you deducted the cost of it from his food & water allowance, no point in you coming out at a loss that would be bad business.
@@DannySalter Does Simon actually give you "Magic Spoon"? Or is that just what falls down through the grate?
"allegedly...." @Business Blaze [flooded the basement.]
Simon: "I can't read"
You have one job!
lol
Correction: "You have a million jobs!"
Watching Simon slowly work out what was wrong with 'Wang cares' was priceless
This ruined me 🤣🤣
G'day Tiny, I wonder what problems Simon would have if he'd ever seen one of those terrible kids' 'cartoon' series, of the early 60s, where they used to superimpose some irksome, moving human lips over each cartoon character's mouth. I forget the name of the cartoon in question but it was set on a sailing ship where the Midshipman was called 'Master Bates'. Do you get it, Simon? Cheers, BH
It was an emotional rollercoaster as I wasn't sure if it would click
Back in the 80s I was a computer repair tech. Wang word processors were a thing back then. I think I had to work on them a couple times. They were the subject of so many jokes... "ABC can't get their Wang up", "I guess they need my help to their Wang up", etc. Sometimes it's hard to control our inner 12 year old 😅
@@BillHalliwell captain pugwash?
Beard blaze is basically just a study to see how many of Simon’s viewers have beards
Or loved ones with beards 😂. If this shit works I'm going to try to find out if my brother uses beard oils so I get him one for his birthday 🤣
@@stephjovi Yeah, he'll probably appreciate that.
@@Ron4885 😂🤣nah my brother and appreciating 😜. We'll see
Simon is the messiah to us bald men with beards. 🙏
@@stephjovi lol lol, Good luck :)
The giddiness that Simon has while promoting his own beard oil is something I live for😂
Simons beard oil sounds like something extracted out of his beard
I knew he was handsome enough to work on his own fashion and beauty line.
@@SergioLeonardoCornejo he'll be living that #influencer lifestyle soon
It's the cocaine in it!
Yeah 100%
Buisness Blaze...ACTUALY MAKING A BUSINESS?! WHAT HERESY IS THIS?!!
Simon: I'm terrible at business
Also Simon: I have my own line of beard oil.
@@AvoidTheCadaver also Simon: 50% off, no code needed, just go to ...
Listening to the promo, looks down at bright green "allegedly" shirt: just take my f@$#ing money Simon.
I used to call the sponge monkeys “demon hamsters” and convinced myself that that was the meat they were serving at Quiznos.
ME TOO. I called Quiznos "Rat Meat Subs" even now lol
Based on how those sandwiches tasted, I’d believe it.
I used to think they were genetically altered chinchillas.
I actually liked Quiznos. We called them mutant rats in New Jersey, USA. I found them insanely funny.
My husband always called them Rat Balls.
9 minutes 20 seconds in:
Simon: "what is this about?"
*Simon pronouncing quesadilla" "Quid-zilla"
Ah yes, Quid-zilla, the scourge of the British middle class.
I can only imagine a lone bobby valiantly smacking Quidzilla with his truncheon, then, when he has no swings left, hurling it at the beast.
Oh, and many Reliant Robins being stomped into shards of fiberglass (fibreglass?).
Goes well with qwin-noah
@@simonhenry7867 , ROFLMAO!
It goes great with a 🌮
@@badluck5647 , is that a "Chicago style" hot dog?
"Chicago style" food would be a great topic for Mr. Whistler.
"I hate the environment. I want to poison dolphins..." Working HARD for those dislikes, aren't we Simon? Lol! I died!
If someone heard Simon say that, and they're not familiar with his sense of humor, they probably would freak right out! 🤣🤣🤣
@@victoriawilliams2786 smash that dislike button.
@@simonhenry7867 👎🤣
Dolphins are bad people.
always
As a blind person I must object to the assertion that I would find the sponge monkeys appealing. I can still hear them Simon. I can still hear them.
My apologies to the blind community ;)
It’s all good. :)
But sponge monkeys are dope.
CANCEL SIMON
LOL nah. Not over this. XD
Watching Simon realize he'd been saying "wankers" for a minute was wonderful.
"And why do you have a dog in the basement, Danny...? weird."
Says the man with a Danny in his basement... :)
28 minutes in: "Are we at the end already?"
Welcome to Business Blaze.
i would like to imagine his mom watching this and then sending him a wooden car as a gift this year
If you reading this mum, DONT GET ANY IDEAS.
@@brainblaze6526 you are totally right, simon's mom if uou are reading this please get him lots of cocaine, or maybe even the Enron Trademark. Much better use of time and money. I got your back Simon.
Me: No beard, only goatee.
Simon: Beard Blaze
Me: TAKE MY MONEY NOW
I looked to see if there was balm and stach wax because as a female human I don't need it but I know people that do and I will support people!
I mean a goatee is technically a beard.
@Rachel Colvin use it onnyour legs after having stayed home all year :P But as a beard haver, i can certainly say that beard oil is quite nice to have when you want to look fancy :)
Beard Blaze: makes your beard a f*cking legend... Allegedly.
I think the people who wanted to sue Fiat over the creepy stalker ad campaign were suing over lost relationships, broken marriages, and things of that nature.
If it didn't interrupt your life at all, you're right, Simon. There would be no loss to sue for.
But then there are people who have legitimate stalker fears, and the prospect of a new stalker is terrifying.
Short answer: there certainly IS something to sue over, even if it is a bit less tangible than something a bit easier for you to process.
agreed. I could easily see someone with a social anxiety or phobia (real or imagined) having a relapse and loss of income
I had a stalker for three years. If I got this letter in the mail, I would immediately lock my house, call the cops, and panic-text my whole extended family that I love them. 😅
Simon is slowly taking over the world, it won’t be long we’ll be driving the latest sports car “The Simon” in our Simon jeans, t-shirt, and blazer that we bought at the Simon shopping Center heading to our home in the Simon Whistler Hills subdivision.
when he gets the rights to the song
well you know my name is simon and the things i draw come true...ill spill my beer
He could sell Blazers.
@@Ciborium...I’ll add it to the comment, thanks.
Yeah, it'd be all fun and blaze until it became "Simon Murder Town."
@@darthrevan6054...I’ll add blazer to the comment also, together we can make this comment into legendary status.
“The postman’s sack was bulging...” He should probably have that looked at... by a doctor.
I love it when Danny takes the piss out of him and Simon doesn't even notice.
I missed it. Anyone have a timestamp I can borrow?
@@mrdoge9508 3:45
@@kevinfelton689 Yea, it’s pretty funny. Danny brought it back a lil later and I don’t think Simon caught that one either. Lol
Postman's Bulging Sack... That was the name of my high school garage band!
"Slightly withered sack"
Somehow said with a perfectly straight face. Legend.
Ikr! 🤣
He gets a lot of practice in his other channels when he needs to talk about things with a straight face all the time.
@@shimasclan that's actually a fair point
Lol watching Simon not get a joke is part of the fun of this channel. You are the best.
I remember those freakish creatures from the Quiznos commercials. Seeing them again has brought me much joy.
They were the only reason I ate there. :) passing by one while hungry reminded me of the commercial, making me smile. Then happy and full.
Checked out the oils...
"The Basic Blaze", "The Freshest Blaze", "Citrus Blaze"...
No "Business Blaze"?!? Guess that's why this video is Epic Advertising Fails.
That’s for my members club.
(There is no members club, it’s just me, but it’s awesome)
@@brainblaze6526 lol what
@@brainblaze6526 Likely story. I'm onto you and your fake facts.
Ngl, "Soothing Anti-blaze" and a beard brush might very well be in my near future.
Only the finest beard oil for such a glorious beard
wait that's a *beard?*
...I thought his face was being devoured by the top half of some starving jungle predator...
Also, uh ... "Can't eat unless there's something to distract them" ... *looks down at my plate of food as I sit in front of the screen*
A bit late, but since nobody did the right thing; bon apetit!
Aids digestion ..... allegedly.
Say what you want about that Quiznos ad, but it's literally still the only reason I think of that shop as existing. And that "We love these subs, cuz they are gooood tooooo ussssss" thing is STILL in my head from like 20 years ago.
when Simon gets so prolific he is reaching out to his own channels with sponsorship deals hahaha
Those quiznos ads had to have been on the air for more than a month. I remember that shit quite vividly.
I never even knew it was a quiznos ad. I just remember the terrifying deformed rabbits screaming unintelligible shit at me like a demon on crack.
Same Except I thought they were roadkilled rats or something.
Your description is pretty accurate, and it seems to explain why I liked those commercials so much. I was a weird kid...
@@richardgilson3512My husband called them Rat Balls. Seemed appropriate, since neither of us had any idea what they actually were.
That moment when you forgot to get a Christmas present for your dad and beard oil is perfect. Thank you Business Blaze for solving my problem.
Simon, you should include your horrendously expensive stickers with the expensive beard oil.
But I’d buy the oil for $20, why would anyone pay $7 for a sticker?
@@Master_Yoda1990 if youre stupid enough to pay 20 for beard oil, you might as well be stupid enough to pay 7 for a sticker
@@jamesdreads7828 bet you don't have a beard
Really high quality olive oil works great for beard oil
@@nicolasbrown9907 then you'd lose money mate.
Simon when the "Wang Cares" hits him.🤣
When I saw this I could still remember an old "Far Side" comic still applicable today (if not more so) - It had a person at a computer and there was a message which instead of "You've got mail." read "You've got spam."
Something tells me Simon does not realize that by taking on Nat Geo, he's taking on the rulers of the universe, the DISNEY GROUP!!
OH SHIT
@@brainblaze6526 But streaming content wise Simon is just behind Disney+, so they are competition already!
Even Netflix can't keep up with the speed at which Simon pumps out new content!
Soon I hope to see Simon as the video equivalent of Wikipedia!
He does have almost as many channels and content out there as the famous rodent.
Can't get sponsors?
Make your own products!
Simon: Taps forehead
big brained
My Boi, he's got his own merch now, growing up so fast!
Back in the days of Wang computers there were signs or posters that proclaimed "Happiness is when your Wang is up!" Of course this was back when keeping your computer running on whatever software was available was kind of hit and miss.
Ah, the fun of a loosely scripted show... watching the sudden comprehension dawn on Simon's face. "Ah! I'm an idiot!"
I still haven't forgiven Simon for killing off ETA. I will not go silently.
He... He's dead? Nooooooo!😭
Simon you bastard!
Cancel Simon!!!!!
*grabs torch and pitchfork*
@@louisbrokatzky520 #CancelSimon
He should have sold ETA.
Yeah I wonder why he isn't using a fan in winter. Can't imagine why ETA just seemed to disappear once summer ended.
Another advertising fail I know of is the soda ads here in Sweden every December.
Coca cola and Pepsi are adamantly trying to outcompete a traditional holiday drink with little success.
And it isn't particularly strange that they are trying, soft drinks drops in sales by about 50% in December as people switch to so called "julmust". (Something that is loosely similar to root beer, but not really...)
Coca cola has even attempted to make their own Julmust but with extremely limited success. (Supposed to exist in McDonald's here, but I haven't actually seen it in person yet... I haven't really searched for it though.)
The main thing that makes this an epic advertising fail is their annual attempts, year after year after year. Literally loosing millions each time and not getting the message that it is literally part of the culture. On Christmas eve it is almost weird to drink anything else. (unless one drinks Glögg, another traditional drink.)
oh my god that is so funny... I'm Canadian but I speak Swedish and I'm super aware of the cultural stuff and knew that everyone drinks julmust right now, but i had no idea pepsi and coca-cola were pouring millions of kronor into nothing. what kind of drinks have they made in the past?
Yep, it's quite funny to see all these Coca-Cola ads being played on TV, while knowing that it's most likely the month they'll have the lowest sales, but with the highest advertising budget. You just can't beat the tradition of julmust.
@@ExperimentIV For a lot of years they just thought "julmust" were some kind of cola. And it really isn't....
Here's the thing we already know these companies get fined millions of dollars and it doesn't hurt them at all. Them doing this intense advertising year after year. This is them brainwashing the Next Generation. It may take 15 years for it to pay off it may take 30. But there are already a well-established business in many parts of the world and drawing to make sure that they have a full grip Advertising with the long game. You want to Breeds familiarity with the product and the advertising every year is going to make younger generation start thinking of that product during this time of the year even if it's only about their poor advertising
Also look into the movie industry and how they actually make it to where the movie itself doesn't make a profit So that way they don't have to pay actors anymore but they hide all the funds or get rid of all the money in marketing. It's a way for businesses to lose money that they profited on and ordered to pay a lower tax .
Legitimately the best add read ever on a business blaze
I still like Simon with a mouthful of cereal, "Thish video is shponshored by Magic Spoon." Yes, I guessed that.
Re-watching old BB videos and it still makes me laugh at how long it took Simon to get 'Wang Cares' LOL
"Go to work basement boy" well thats something I want on a T-shirt
I feel that "Beard Whistler" would have been a better brand name.
Wasn't that a Robert Redford film?
Whistler's beard would've been great too! 🤣🤣
The bonus points for the alliteration won it probably
Beard Whistler sounds more than a little pervy. Jared from Subway would love it.
Oh no, Beard Blaze is right: oil is inflammable. Perfect advertising fail.
I just ordered a bottle beardoil from Bearblaze. I already feel like a better person and even though I don't have much facial hair, I am 100 % confident will grow a Beard until the oil arrives. Allegedly.
I really thought Beard Blaze was a joke. I was waiting for a Rickroll but it never came. The hotline on the website is for a legit cosmetics company. I looked through the entire site the whole time I am thinking, "this is an elaborate joke". But it's not a joke! It's for real! So I bought some basic blaze and a brush. My lockdown beard is all sorts of disheveled. Thanks, Simon, I am really running out of places to put any more extravagantly priced stickers.
Cant wait for the moment when Simon does a Biographics on Danny, and realizes they have the same grandmother.
"Whats wrong with Wang cares?"
g.
The dog with Danny in the cellar is in case Simon forgets to feed Danny.
And Danny is there in case Simon forgets to feed the dog.
So who else just added Simon to half a dozen e-mailers? Lol
Many. MANY People.
Wow lol
I feel bad for him... but at the same time...that's freaking hilarious!
Done, added to all the distro groups.
@@brainblaze6526 This is why we can't have nice things.
I forgot those cursed Quiznos THINGS exited until now. Thank you Simon and Co for reminding me of my 5 year old night terror demon....yay?
Lol, how could you forget those glorious monstrosities?
I forgot them too. I was a huge fan of their original version on the rather good website
When you're American and get the "Wang Cares" joke before Simon. 🤣
No Wang Cares... Love it! Well done, Sam!
Danny made a bet with someone about how many times he could get Simon to say 'Wang' in a single video.
Danny won no doubt!
The realization of "Wang Cares" being Wankers... priceless
I was yelling "Wankers!" and collapsed laughing when Simon finally got the joke.
I hear they were going to do a maths debate later.
Then the credits at the videos end.
Host: No
Writer: Wang
Editor: Cares
Beautiful
@@alanhilder1883 I know someone they should get for that. The guy is a prodigious maths debater.
If ETA had a beard, ETA would buy all the beard oil you have. Because ETA knows it's the best out there.
ETA knows all. ETA is life.
I think #CancelSimon has "offed" ETA, because he was getting jealous of the attention ETA was receiving instead of him!
@@delveling possibly. But ETA is still out there. And within us. He is still speaking only truths. He is waiting for us to discover him, and listen.
ETA knows all. ETA is life.
We all know ETA will be back, it's gonna start getting colder and colder over the next few months
"I just wanna listen to music in silence" silence is the sweetest music
I thought the spong Monkeys were so funny that I started laughing as soon as he started talking about them. Quiznos is delicious.
“Bring us a coupon! Any coupon!”
Another sponsor who wonders how Simon missed the talking points during his ramblings.
I'm trying to talk my fiancé or my mom into getting me some beard oil for Christmas now...
I stopped the video and bought some for my fiancé the moment he said “reasonable price” and got half off as a surprise 🌟
I'm seeing a distinct lack in scrip slaps Simon
Badda Boom Boom Tisssss......
Smash that dislike button!
I bought some beard blaze the first time I started to watch this and now I came back to finish since I've got the oil and I love it. Thanks Simon! The Basic Blaze is great!
Legend. Thank you!
The Quiznos sub commercial came out when my ex and I were HUGE on the drugs and we became obsessed with the sponge monkeys! Thank you for making this because I can't find anything about them anywhere and really started believing I made it up. You guys are my heroes 😍😍😍 don't do drugs kids 😳
I absolutely love the fact that the "Wang cares" mistake slipped right by Simon for so long before figuring it out... XD
Now I want a tee shirt with that on it.
@@fredlougee2807 we all do...
Simon starts a flame war with NatGeo
Simon: #FYouNatGeo
National Geographic: Give us back "Geographics" #CancelSimon
Blaze war?
The whole thing comes to a heartwarming conclusion when NatGeo hires Simon to act in and narrate all the new episodes of Locked Up Abroad that feature cocaine.
Which will be all of them.
Can you get cult robes up on the merch store?
9:20 - Chapter 1 - Fiat
13:30 - Chapter 2 - Quiznos
18:45 - Chapter 3 - Lipton
21:30 - Chapter 4 - Best buy
24:00 - Chapter 5 - Curlong
28:20 - Chapter 6 - Whang
I was drinking my coffee when that "I missed a line meme popped up. hahahaha my screen is now covered in coffee, and my lungs are awake. Thank you!
Simon was so busy crowing about his new beard oil, he failed to notice Danny slip out for a bit of a walk earlier.
I caught him. I released a big slick of beard oil and he couldn't stand up. That's when I got out the net.
@@brainblaze6526 Ah the net. Poor Danny, so close but so far.
Basement Blaze:
Danny’s fiery upstart of becoming a motivational speaker teaching people how to better themselves.... either that or his fiery plan of freedom from Simon’s basement.
All things considered it's probably dating service of some sort.
I have never wished to be male and have a beard more than today, right now.
I heard you can use some beard oils on your pubic region. I was planning on trying that out.
Simon,you are beautiful! My husband of 38 years passed away two days before Christmas in 2017.You remind me so much ( and favor each other in features)of him .He had a fantastic beard ,and shaved his head also! Continue the great work!
In the immortal words of Ted Mosby, "When someone gets you a gift, you give them a "thank you" note. Give a gift, get a note." It's science, Simon!
Everyone: Simon, you always miss the puns.
Simon: Not today!
Also Simon: misses the most typically British pun, knowing full well it's coming in the next 4 lines.
I freaking LOVED the Sponge Monkeys. "We love the SUUUBS! They Got a PEppEEr Bar"! 16:41
Isaac Browning me to, didn’t know it was an ad though (I don’t live in the us). Used to watch it on the rathergood website.
And I miss “we like the moOoOon”
i was actually really upset when the ads came out that there wasn't an quiznos near me so i could support the company that that used these little gifts from heaven in advertising! i adore them beyond words! i made my ringtone "they got a pepper bar" for about a year.
I can just see Danny and Sam resubscribing to National Geographic for Simon...oh the sweet petty vengeance
I did NOT expect to pull up this video and be advertised Simon's very own beard oil... and just so happen to be the target audience! You love to see it. Business Blaze is absolutely one of my favorite channels of all time. All of your channels are great and worth their own weight, but holy shit Business Blaze is just soooo unique.
Those Quiznos ads were the BEST! They were hilarious.
Sponge Monkeys were as close to "viral" as stuff got in those days ... "We Love the Moon!" was wonderfully bizarre. Somebody got the wild idea to use "Hamster Dance" for an ad, somebody at Quizno's's ad agency saw it and BANG: a bad idea was born.
Oh, yeah. They’d have been considered viral today, too. They were up there with the dancing baby, which also got mainstream thanks to ally mcbeal. Proto-memes are weird.
It wasn't until Simon got confused about why "Wang cares" would be a problem that I even realized he wasn't actually saying "wankers". So Simon was confused about why the stores had a problem with banners saying "Wang cares" while I was confused why Wang would send stores banners that just said "Wankers" for no apparent reason.
I gotta be honest, when I clicked the Beard Blaze link, I was expecting a Rick Roll.
good god, the Quiznos monkey things were SO obnoxious. Don't miss that
WE LOVE THE SUBS!
They grossed me out so much, that when those commercials aired that was the last time I ever bought Quiznos. I still don’t eat Quiznos to this day.
I mean, who in the hell advertises food with dead rats?
I was kinda scared to be a passenger when my grandmom was driving.
Me: that was a red light!
My grandmother: oops
I've got to say. I love the dank direction this channel has followed. And a shameless self promoted beard ointment to boot. I think I'll buy some o' that snake oil. Thanks!
Catfishing mate... its called catfishing lol
Now people won't look at me like I'm insane when I say Simon made my beard wet
Okay, they'll still look at me that way, but now I'll have a semi-reasonable explanation.
Simon Made my beard wet, lol!
I'm a simple man, I see Spongemonkeys, I click. I see a video on why Quiznos' marketing directors had to be insane or coked out of their skulls to use them in a commercial, I click.
But most importantly of all, I see Business Blaze, I click. This is your best channel. And congratulations on the new product!
Also, Simon and the Basement Dwellers would be a great name for a punk band.
It was Quizno's prices that made me run away.
I recognized them instantly from that Quiznos commercial... It happens to be one of my favorites not a fail
@@kimberlyk2530 I did too, but I also already loved the animation they based it on. My mom did too. My dad thought we were both crazy.
I agree with every word of this comment, and remarkably, also with every single reply so far
My god, I’ve laughed so much during this video! I really needed that.
Thank you and I love you all!
*Hears Simon struggle with Malala's name*
Ee, he's gonna be feeling awkward in about a second or two.
Don't worry, he'll bounce back.
Proper sized beard oil bottles! Holy shit you are epic*, thank you!
(*aLEGENDly)
I'm not sure if it's Sam trolling you by putting the worst "no context" clip of the video right at the beginning but I laugh my ass off every damn time!!! 🤣
Never knew the They Got A Pepper Bar creatures were called sponge monkeys. My mom loved that ad. I didn't know it did poorly or scared anyone. My mom would sing the song a lot.
I loved that ad, too!
'Wang cares,' I can confirm this as I was a young IT guy who worked for Barclays Bank in the late 1990ts when I attended a presentation by a group of Wang reps. I've never witnessed so many IT guys holding back tears and laughter.
😂😂😂 Simon, you're the best!
Danny, job well done! I'll try to sneak some food to you for momentarily stumping Simon😂
"Four lines in..." does ET start seeing visions of Mulder?
First of all: Basic Blaze is sold out.
Secondly: I can't actually enter an address outside of the States or Canada even tho the site says you do ship Internationally ._.
Thirdly: I need some new beard oil...
The Basic Blaze is just the oil drained off cans of tuna. (allegedly)
2 views, 10 comments and 15 likes. Never change TH-cam
Popped up in my feed- OGBB!!! Simon is utterly crazed and the editing is 🔥
Holy crap by the 8 minute mark I was laughing so hard I was crying at the same time. Tears streaming.