Could be the difference between being hearing and deaf 🤷🏻♀️ people develop skills based on their environment and (for lack of a better word) “non abilities” 🙂
My partner is a teacher, and she wears a sweater with rainbow stripes on the sleeve (not the pride rainbow though). We've coined it the gay safety sweater because a lot kids have opened up to her and specifically said it was because they saw her sweater
"... we filmed an Ask your Lesbian Mums while you were secretly pregnant, with Jamie and Shaaba" It took my brain a couple of seconds to hear this in its proper context 🤣
I think it's so nice how you acknowledge that Claudia is the emotionally needy one, so it's ok for Claudia to say "it's a lot for me" when Jessica hasn't been able to move. That must help her to cope with the additional pressure and it seems like it makes the balance in the relationship more equal. Often people who have to help a loved one feel like they can't say anything about it being difficult, but it seems like you guys are able to acknowledge it and move on, not build resentment or anything.
I honestly regret coming out to my mom. I told her I’m a lesbian 12 years ago. She STILL asks me if I’m dating my best friend (a guy), and talks about my “future husband”. She doesn’t get it. She never will. She treats me so much differently than my siblings. I can’t even have sleepovers (with guys or girls), and she makes life so difficult.
Yes! For the friends at University, and I feel like this applies to EVERYONE- find friends who will meet you where you are at. Don't try force yourself to be someone you're not, in order to hang out with the people you think you want to be friends with. Find people who understand your limitations and expectations, whether those have to do with disability, you're being introverted, extroverted, neurotypical- whatever it is that makes you unique and special, make sure that you find a group of friends that appreciates and understands those things about you.
@@lillieblack9702 Most people leave University and move on beyond their friends, so you are not behind in life. When life gets back to normal a little more join some meetups that you are interested in what they are about. You will match on that level then.
You reminded me of when I pushed my husband around Disneyland in a manual wheelchair. People asked why I was doing it? Because we can spend more time together if I pushed the chair then if he walked. Was 💯 worth it.
Talking about how one does the physical needs and the other does the social needs was awesome. My boyfriend is technically special needs because he has a severe back and nerve injury. When our boy was a baby, he couldn't do the physical stuff like diaper changes or picking him up or putting him down. His back couldn't handle those types of things. So other women looked at me and clearly saw me as the only involved parent, and him as the stereotypical dad who barely does anything but claims equal credit as a parent. And it bothered both of us a lot. But the reality was he provides the money, the feeling of safety when our son is scared, the goofy-funny social interactions (I try but it doesn't work. I'm Naturally a very serious person), and our son only wants daddy for bedtime cuddling and only daddy can brush his teeth. And all of those are extremely important, and I'm so glad I don't have to be responsible for making them happen. I provide the emotional understanding/validation, and the communication. He isn't very interested in words or full sentences yet. He can. He just won't. But I interpret the desires and the emotional needs that cause various meltdowns. His dad can't so that. He's too invested in making the meltdown stop, but since he has trouble understanding the cause of the meltdowns in the first place, he isn't able to make them stop very easily. Our son refuses to let anyone else read to him but me, and he wants to be read to alot. We did Llama Llama red pajama 7 times yesterday, in addition to other books. I take the pictures and videos and write down the memories we want to keep. His dad has no patience for those things. But he keeps up with every single paper from every dr appointment and other legal documents a person needs to prove who they are in the u.s. I'm Terrible at that stuff. Our son has food allergies and eczema. I did and do all the research and cooking and keeping up with all the medicine and lotions to keep our son healthy and happy and itch/rash/pain free. I track when the last time he was exposed to a food allergen to test his current reactivity to them is and when the next one is scheduled. His dad makes the surprise plans to go do new things, something else I'm horrible at. As a baby, even though I was breastfeeding, his dad got up every time with me so we could experience things as a family. 8 times a night. He'd pick music for us to listen to while our son ate. So I love how you guys talked about how from the outside you can't know what the division of labor or need is in a family. You just have to trust the people in that relationship do, and they can competently run their own lives. We as a society need to stop assuming everyone fits the images we personally grew up seeing.
You both have developed a wonderful family. You are both involved as you two can, and make it work. So great. It is your choices to make. Early in the 70s Woman's Movement, I had to explain that the movement was about a Woman's choice. If a woman chose to stay at home with the children, then that was her choice. We should support her for that.
@@westzed23 I agree. And the thing is, I never planned on staying home. It never felt like the right thing for me. But when we had him, it was the right thing for us as a family in our circumstances at that time. And then I discovered that I loved it. That it wasn't the punishment it felt like it would be when I was growing up, but instead was the most amazing gift of my life, even beyond having him. I didn't have a job to go back to when he was 6 weeks old and STILL cried hysterically at the thought of handing my glowing ball of joy that made my soul sing over to another person so I could go to work without him. And we don't have an expectation that I will always be a stay at home mom. But we also have no definitive plan that I will stop being one either. We're doing what feels right for our family, whatever that it is now, and whatever it becomes down the road. And I'm very lucky to have had my baby with a man who was completely fine with me telling him 'I know I always said I wanted to work, but....'. Because he agrees. He agrees its what's best right now. And he agrees if we keep thinking it's what's best for us, that we should keep doing it without a time limit on it. And that's a gift I never understood prior to having our son either. I had such strong feelings that I was sure of, and I made negative judgments (silently) on the families who had a stay at home parent. And I had no right to make those judgments, especially under the guise of feminism, which is what I thought I believed in at the time. I'm so glad my views on things have been challenged and widened.
@@thayerwilliams905 You and your husband have made a wonderful family that works best for you. Family dynamics change through the years, and you both are working together on this. I wish you all the best. ❤
@@thayerwilliams905 it really sounds like honesty and openness with eachother and truly expressing your needs is a real strength of your relationship and because of it I hope any times of unease when it's not feeling balanced or not working will only be temporary because you both have given each other permission to communicate discomfort honestly... It sounds like that would really reduce that general anxiety about unknown futures because you know you can share and unload anything with your partner and work on solutions together. I truly wish you every happiness, you sound like an amazing family and your kid is lucky to have such sensible, doting parents and your relationship as an example of how to be in a relationship and be a real team partnership xxxx
Yeah coming out never really ends. I’ve come to the point where I’ll bring up being bi really early into knowing someone. If they’re a bigot, it’s better that I know sooner rather than later. If they’re an ally, it’s a great way to break the ice. I’m chronically single so whenever dudes say “oh well I’m sure you’ll make some man very happy one day” I like to come back with “yeah, or a woman” 😉
Having come out 50+ years ago and still doing it as necessary it does get old. Correcting peoples assumptions gets tiring as well. Sometimes I just smile and let it go. At 62 can I let the younger people have a turn ? I don't care how or if you label yourself as long as you are kind.
I know that this wasn't really the point of your comment but thank you for sharing about your age. I'm 26 and I rarely see LGBTQ+ people past their 30s. Seeing people beyond that, being out and open, kind of gives me hope about my own future. I'm still trying to figure out my identities and to come to terms with not being cis-het. As I'm sure many can relate to, I often have a hard time visualising a life for myself years or decades down the track. So thank you for this heart-warming start to my day 💙
@@notadev1590 All good glad you got something from it. I have lots of stories about meeting people alot older than me when I was much younger. A very short version of one is when I was going cross country on motor cycle I helped 2 little old ladies who in turn invited me to stay overnight it turned out they had been together since WW II they had met as code breakers in the Army and had lived secret quiet lives for 60 years. For whatever reason they shared their story with me.
@@notadev1590 another old bird here 🖐️ 63, not a good time as a teenager, came out as lesbian after marriage to a man. Only relatively recently coming to terms with realising that I'm non binary whilst being partnered with my very understanding wife for thirty years and more. Hopefully because these things are up for discussion now you will be able to recognise who you are and how fluid are gender and sexuality that you will suffer less trauma and public humiliation than we did. Be kind to yourself and good luck in your life and love. 🤗🌈
"We're experts in nothing, but very warmly and lovingly supportive." Thank you Lesbian Moms, this is all we really need and I think you two are experts in this.
RE: "Shipping off half the family," I feel like Jessica is my head and Claudia is my heart on this one. I think it's perfectly reasonable to send puppies off for a slumber party or all-day playdate now and again, especially if the friends have a dog of their own that they're friends with! It can be a fun time for the dogs and a good opportunity to get caught up on rest and/or housework... But the VEHEMENT way Claudia stood her ground really spoke to me on a deep, personal level. 😂
Here in the states, we have doggy day care centers. Dogs can go there foe a few hours or as long as over night. They get to play with other dogs, get groomed, get massages, special treats, and generally have a special and marvellous time. I had a friend who's dog got mad when he missed his weekly visit. It can be good for them and you.
I feel you and I get that every pup and owner is different, but I personally can get very stressed out when someone else is looking after my dog (I don't even 100% trust my parents with her), plus I'm perfectly capable of doing chores with her around, so I usually keep the playdates for times when I must travel somewhere.
@@jackiejames4551 also anyone who has money for that kinda thing is very well off - it's not like anyone can just put hundreds and hundreds for their dog to be somewhere for few hours.
See I am very much of the mind that parents need some time to just be adults. Like my parents would drop us off at our Granny's house for a sleepover, they got to have some grown-up time and me and my sister got to have a bunch of fun because as long as we weren't fighting she let us do whatever and it was GREAT. Or with dogs, nothing wrong with doggy daycare or asking a friend or family member to puppysit for a few days (one of my friends had dogsat for a family friend before) You're not shipping them off to Siberia, you're sending them to a friend's house or grandma's house and they will have a marvelous time and you get some time to yourself.
I have a trans man friend who is rather traditionally feminine sometimes he chooses to wear dresses and skirts. But he is still a man. Being more fem or masc does not invalidate your transness. It is also possible to be a non-binary trans woman and switch from day to day if that feels most comfortable.
being gender fluid is much less talked about than being non-binary, often the two get lumped together but being gender fluid is quite separate from being non-binary.
If the relationship works dose it matter who does what I think folks get far too worked up about who does what and how. If it works then its good & children are fine with that. So bravo both of you and keep it up.
Jessica: But I don't think people should judge other people's body and I'm not going to invite others to judge yours. ^^This comment from a wife to another wife warmed my heart.
Oh my darlings, I'm old enough to be *your* lesbian/non binary parent but you can still teach me how to think of myself in a fluid way... Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 😘🤗 💕 🌈
I've taken in friends animals overnight. A friend's cat stayed with me for two months after a massive fire in the area. It's really nice to borrow some snuggles and feel like I am doing something to help a stressed out friend get a break without being in their way and underfoot. So if a friend offers, take advantage
Thank you for clarifying that while it is wonderful that more people are feeling comfortable talking about and sharing they’re own gender identity, for a lot of people it’s a very personal subject and that it is fully ok to keep those personal things to yourself if you want to. To me, point has always been to be able to present in anyway that feels most true to you without fear, regardless of whether or not you feel like having a discussion about it with someone you just met at the bus stop. Yay for being truly exclusive of all kinds of folks 🥰
Legit^ I present extremely feminine (long hair, dresses for every occasion, etc) so it hasn't been questioned with me by strangers, but I've been wrestling with the fact that I am Agender (nothing) for the last 10 years minimum. Although I'm very sure of my feelings, I'm also very conflicted because of a number of factors. 1) I'm a woman in STEM and I feel I want to encourage other woman... but I don't align with "woman" in my head. 2) My mum always wanted a daughter and I've been happy to be her daughter. Although she'd love me no matter what, I don't want her to worry or stress. Obviously I'll do what's best for me in the end as it's my life, but the impact always crosses my mind 3) very high chance I have undiagnosed autism which in women often leads to gender conflict... so... It's still valid? But it's also a whole other can of worms and my paranoia also prevents me going for a diagnosis because my stupid monkey brain doesn't want anything recorded in my medical history (It's dumb I know) 4) because woman are second class citizens based on all the BS still faced, part of me can't help but wonder if that played a roll? I don't want to be sexualized. I cannot wear anything that shows below my collarbones without feeling icky because my chest is inherently sexualized and I'm not okay with that, so the less visible I can make it the more mentally comfortable I feel. 5) Although identity is a deep innate feeling that is innate, and I know mine to be true, I still fight with my own internal self and am like... there's no right or wrong way to be a woman, so why can't I just identify as a woman in my woman born body and leave it at that? 6) Thus, I am just me. Labels are important to be able to articulate your feelings and find a sense of peace perhaps (I'm pansexual and having a word to use for loving people ~ hearts not parts~ has been useful) but when it comes to gendered labels all of these factors and more whiz around my head and I don't wanna have that discussion 7) let's be real, society sucks, so I also wrestle with this because of the stigma, but that also makes me more keen to stand up and show that this is a normal thing any human can feel and we deserve equal human rights. In short, I have been blessed to not have been asked and have to go through the turmoil with strangers, but I also hope we reach a point where as a society this is such a non issue, not worthy of commenting on. Everyone is equal and respected, and can present how they like without question Wishing all the best to anyone reading this, although I've wrote an essay about all my inner conflict, I can honestly say though that things do get better. That things HAVE gotten better to me over all these years. It's just when you think too deeply in to why etc it can become a mind fook, but I feel a sense of peace as I exist in this meat vessel that allows me to experience this beautiful crazy world 💜💜💜
@@TheHelveticanbarbie I feel you.I don't want to write another essay (lol), so long story short I go through similar conflicts. And currently I think like you. And also I believe that over time, being aware of our gender and trying to understand ourselves we tend to be more and more ok with it, with label or not. And that's the most important part, being okay with who you are. At the end of the day labels are just a way to help us express ourselves, but the label we use (or don't use) won't change who we already are
At 8:19 when Claudia is looking into the camera while Jessica is giving her answer, it felt like I was just making eye contact with her irl and it made me feel extremely calm. Claudia has the best energy ✨💜
Or when everyone has a coming out because everyone is given freedom to choose their sexuality, gender identity and proper education till they are able to decide. Even if they are straight.
@@Cat_tiee I'm talking about "coming out" in terms of its long history, particularly as a political action against society-wide homophobia. In my generation, to "come out," by definition meant one had to be hidden (i.e. in a closet, and many were for good reason). And that includes not just choosing to be hidden, but unintentionally being hidden by someone else's erasure (e.g. someone asking Claudia about her "husband" erases her lesbian identity and her wife). So many people still keep themselves in the closet because they fear rejection by family and friends and/or violence, all still very real fears that those of us who grew up in families that had homophobic ideologies know very well. I don't know what generation you are, and if you are a lot younger than me like Jessica and Claudia are maybe the phrase has a different meaning, but for many in my generation "coming out" has been an important rite of passage but the phrase also by definition has a particular meaning with a degree of anxiety and fear of non-acceptance baked in. I want a world where kids are raised in an environment where they can express their orientations and identities as part of normal development, so that there is no "coming out" to be done, just feeling comfortable sharing their own self-discovery and development on the matter. And that the assumption when meeting new people is that they might be of any sexual orientation, with broad knowledge that sexuality and gender identity are highly individual and can be fluid and one's understanding of them can change over time, and certain identities can be unintentionally obscured by one's assumptions (erasure when you have kids and/or are bi and in a straight relationship are very real), so it's better not to make any. There are all kinds of ways to change language and social/cultural norms to achieve this. So we're kind of saying something similar but I want to get beyond the language and the included various historical connotations of "coming out." We've had to fight for recognition and our identities because so many of us have faced that rejection and violence. You and I want the same thing and are talking about it differently. But the way I see it, in a world where all our various identities and orientations are normalized as typical diversity, there would be no need for "coming out" because nobody would have anywhere to "come out" of.
@@Cat_tiee one of my friends, who is a lesbian, said shortly after she had 'come out' that it really wasn't fair - straight people don't have to make an announcement that they're straight. I agree with her and I really wish we lived in a society where anyone who isn't straight and/or cis-gender has to formally announce and explain that. The sad fact is we're not there yet. My reaction when that friend told me she was a lesbian was something along the lines of "great, I'm happy for you." She was so relieved and I really wish she hadn't needed to feel that way. As far as I'm concerned, my reaction was the only acceptable one in the circumstances, but a lot of other people apparently didn't feel the same way and made her life miserable. I had another gay friend, some of whose former 'friends' crossed the street to avoid speaking to him when they learnt he was gay. That just isn't okay. I know that as a society we've come a long way from where we were decades ago, but we're still nowhere near where we need to be yet.
This week has been awful for me, gonna wrap myself in my blankets and watch this vid to feel better. thankyou for everything you do to give us these amazing videos
I can't begin to express just how much I love seeing Jessica, in her ultra feminine fashion, talking about the gender spectrum, alongside Claudia, being the perfect tomboyish mom
When Rupert begins crawling efficiently then you might experience the mess. If he's not curious then you will be fine. I was into everything I could climbe onto!
I've had a rough couple of days because of my chronic illness, and I've been very depressed about it. Watching this kind of videos makes me happy, because I feel I have two moms that care about me and everyone else, and we are not alone🥰
I LOVE that you do this for those that need it because of the love that you both have for each other and everyone else. My heart aches for those whose parents haven't been supportive. MVP= Most Valuable Player and you both have taken turns being that for each other
About the label things, I saw it so much with my mom. Of course she’s a mother bear and loves her children very much, but she never felt truly a woman. Now almost at 60, she finally found a label that makes sense: non binary! But she had to live most of her life without that label
Thank you for this video!! I have been struggling with the fact that I don't contribute financially (I can't handle the stress from working a "real" job) although my husband is fine with me not working. Your answer to the "am I too ill to be a parent" question really helped me see it in a different light. We both have roles we can handle, he works and makes all the money, and I think my problem is the things I CAN handle aren't as visible. I do all the housework, cooking, "typical housewife stuff" and felt like it didn't equal the amount he does for our family. There is an invisible give and take in relationships that gets overlooked. I was trying to be equal when I just can't be. But what I can be is a compliment to what he brings to the table. So, a huge Thank You to you two Lovely People for helping a girl out!! 😊❤
I've recently become (hopefully temporarily) disabled. I've watched you for a few years. I'm glad I have because I've been able to better advocate for myself like you speak about. When you both were talking about the "your husband can get it" stuff it made me write this. I've had deliveries made and have been super forthcoming with the delivery people. I say, "I've had back surgery and my foot is useless can you put that there?" And they do it. So far I've only had one issue of asking and having to fight and it was with my neighbor not wanting to give my cats another scoop of food... um just put the food on the plate! Lol
Claudia, you mentioned reiki in this post. I am a reiki master, and have been practicing since 1989. Having heard Jessica's opposition to being prayed for, I have not offered reiki in the past, but, due to your comment, I would like to offer reiki to both or either of you, whenever you want. All I ask for in return, as there must be energy returned with energy, is that y'all continue to your good works.
Thank you, Claudia! I cannot stress how many times people (specifically the older generations) ask me "do you have any kids" just because I'm married to my husband. I still want to travel and do fun couples stuff before we have kids.
Wooow there's so many assumptions in those "husband" comments. That you're married, that you're married to a man, that you're still together with them... Such a rude thing to say.
My friend came out to me. I’ve always watched you’re videos partly because I’m disabled but also cause I just love you guys. Watching these videos of you guys have really helped me to support her in her journey and show her an amazing family that is Queer but can still have the classic “white picket fence life.” Thank you for being there for those who are part of the queer community but also for us who want to but don’t always know how to support them and be an alley
12:25 asking people their pronouns is not as good as sharing yours and allowing them the space to share theirs if they are ready. A better question is to ask how to refer to them (eg. in the 3rd person), and maybe once you know them a bit, rather than specifically ask for pronouns, or just use people's name (and maybe practice that, if you forget names easily).
I’m on Jessica’s side when it comes to having friends/family help with the dogs on occasion. Think of it like babysitting or a doggy vacation rather than shipping them off. I’ve done it to help friends out and it’s nice for the dogs also because they get spoiled for a few days😀
Let's change the narrative and formulation ! We arent gonna have to come out all our life, however we will have to correct people's wrong assumption all our life. Let's make people awkward for assuming (if it's a safe space of course !), maybe they wont do it again then.
Sorta related to the subtle ally thing. Whenever a kid in my class would say anything mildly, something that's offensive that a lot of cis straight people (except for awesome allies) wouldn't know is offensive, my science teacher would casually say something along the lines of "that's offensive, actually," and it really made me happy.
I so appreciate the comment on labels and how you might not have one available yet and that's okay. When I was growing up the term "asexual" wasn't a thing I'd ever heard, so I just thought I was weird for not being at all interested in sex and avoiding it whenever possible. Finding a label that described me was empowering, but just because I didn't know the term doesn't mean I wasn't that thing. I was still asexual! I just didn't have a descriptor for it. So I dearly hope whoever asked knows that a label or lack there of doesn't change who they are! Whether they choose to label themselves or not, they are who they are, and I hope that they live their truth and their best life!
"MVP" is a baseball term, originally. It means "Most Valuable Player", someone who has done a lot for the team's record in terms of winning and other statistics.
I have been wondering whether or not to come out as non-binary for some time. Then I just did, because I have no patience and thinking about whether or not to come out was too annoying. Don't need to think about it if the decision has already been made. However, that means that I have before really thinking it thought told everyone a new name I use... which I now don't find fitting any more and am again thinking about whether or not to tell everyone to use a different name for me *again*. It's hard, as you can see ^^'.
I came out as nb to a few people, i dont use a different name but the nb label seemed to not fit me as well as i thought it did, i still feel in between i guess but its hard when friends ask "are you still with that non binary thing?" Like if its a phase :/ i hope things get easier for you
god, i relate to this so hard. personally, i have/have had a lot of names, and every time i think of a new one that i really like or i don’t want to use a name anymore i wonder whether i should tell my friend, who i’m out to, about the name change or just continue letting them use the same name(s) for me.
ive gone through a LOT of name changes and im still not 100% settled on what name i want to have used for me like overall/from a legal standpoint! my advice would be choose some people who you speak to frequently that you are close with and that are nice and understanding and use being around them as time to practice with new name. online games or quizzes where you get to set a name are also a nice spot to try out names with low pressure. i find it easier to go ahead living with the name i tell people that im OK with and then when ive settled on a name i really really like in private then i can switch to that and let people know to refer to me by that name! good luck
Ive had many friends who, throughout figuring themselves out, have gone through several different names. By and large the response I have always seen when they switched again was "ok got it, thank you for letting us know!". Obviously everyones situation is different so you have do what feels best for you, but there is definitely a chance that using a new name again wont be a big deal at all. Theres also the option of trying out different names with just 1 or 2 people before announcing it to everyone!
Yes, yes, I know I can only tell few people. But like then I tell only very few people, then I wait, then I'm like "gosh this is much better now that ppl are not using my deadname" and then suddenly I tell way too many people :D. I just have no patience.
Life goes up and down without it always being under control. How YOU both handle it is a partnership. You both GIVE to each other, and Rupert - and the doggos !! 🐶 And, BTW, you both work on the channel, helping your followers and giving content, which can be rewarding in so many ways. It's an ever changing life at the Fozard house 🏡 , and you are aware and care, which is so admirable !! Great partners, great Mummy & Mama !!
Find ppl who value u and not just ur social life. If they think u're rude bc u ask for help in areas u can't help, they rn't worth ur time. I've had friends who were in varying degrees of disability before, and if u value the friend, u do activities that included them. If they would rather pick activities that you can't do rather than an activity with you in it, they don't value u the way u deserve.
I can't begin to express how proud I am of both of you for having the strength to share as much of your lives on this channel as you do. You two are making a difference just by being yourselves and setting the example for others to see how it's done properly.
Thank you so much for showing that you can be a parent with a disability. I have congenital Muscular Dystrophy and use a wheelchair full time. You two give me hope that I can fine love, can get married, and can be a mother. I’ve dreamed of being a mother since I was six, and you are showing me that it is possible even though I am disabled.
Awww I deal with feeling like I don't give enough to my husband bc of my . But I do give him . It's not something that's intuitive to him but I think he's really coming around to appreciate it. Thank you for this convo
Gorgeous xxx I love seeing how you keep affirming each other as valid partners and are also real about the frustrations and tiredness that makes life normal! I love how down to earth and frank you guys are as well as gorgeous 😊
My husband and I discussed telling our future kids to bring home whoever makes them happy. All we ask is that they let us know the person's pronouns ahead of time so we don't make an awkward situation of meeting your girl/boyfriend's parents even more awkward.
11:52 To the person who said they weren’t sure if they’re non-binary or trans, I would point out that sexual orientation is fluid. Jessica is very gay while Claudia is slightly bi possibly leaning more towards being attracted to women than men. Some bi people are slightly more into men than women and some are smack in the middle. So I think gender identity can be the same.
I gotta say the best advice i've heard concerning lgbt+ issues always comes from people older than my generation (1991). The LGBT community can be devisive as heck. The labels just kind of seperate everyone out into cliques more than they were already doing to themselves. I constantly find myself butting heads with baby rainbows who make hurtful, toxic comments all the time.
12:25 Whoever sent this in is an angel. That question sums up my situation perfectly and between the video and the comments, there was some things I really needed to hear 💙
At university as a chronically ill person, I found most of the people I got on best with were either slightly older students, people who travelled in from out of town, or fellow nerds who loved gaming and reading etc 😅 I still did feel a little left out of the night-time social stuff as I mostly couldn't go, but a lot of those people couldn't or didn't want to either so it worked out. Funnily enough I'm now great friends with some of the people I didn't hang out with at the time, who have now lost interest in clubbing and love a chill night in!
Identifying with a label you just haven't found yet...... that was me big time. I'm asexual and for the longest time I didn't have the language, so I didn't have the community or the way to fully articulate what I was feeling I just had this..... thing, or a lack of a thing type thing. And then I found the word and it was wonderful. So I get that.
As a human whose been in college almost 10 years and has struggled to make friends, I have some tips! Join a club or two! Find low commitment ones that it's okay if you miss meetings. I'm currently in a "Bad Bugs Book Club" where we get two free books about Malaria (1 fiction, 1 nonfiction) and we meet via zoom five times in the semester. No expectation to arrive to each one. There's also the lettuce club, where they meet once a semester to eat an entire head of lettuce and who ever finishes the fastest is the "head of lettuce club". Great talking point, low commitment, great way to get new friends. Finally, if your college has a tutoring center this is a great way to bond with people studying the same field as you AND get help with classes.
I never really had to come out either and I honestly don't care too much about my labels either and just use queer if someone asks. I noticed that I don't need labels and would only figure them out for others so why should I even bother.
Yes. Thank you for being everyone's lesbian moms... you have amazing insights and the fact that you are both down to earth but also positive. Rupert is so lucky to have you as his parents!
Yet another absolute Gem of a video Jessica and Claudia, especially the way you spoke about ' Gender is a broad spectrum ' just be whoever you are even if their isn't a word for it yet ( you described it better ).❤👍
Rupert is having a lovely chat with his current attention fixation, which was adorable and didn't distract me from your content at all. But I'm a mom and Nana, so happy baby noises are just there while we have our adult time.
This series is so cute! i'm pretty open with my mom, I feel like I can say anything to her, but she doesn't have the experience of being a lesbian and sometimes she just can't give me advice or just tell me about certain expeciences I may have I really get the vibes of moms and daughter conversation, that's totally lovely, thank you 💕
We need a video about just the dogs and their maintenance and how Jessie has modified her mobility needs to help care for them, when she isn’t injured.
I really enjoy watching you guys together. Your relationship and interaction with one another is so special and neat to see. I'm not explaining very well, I'm sorry. You can just see how your relationship is. Thank you for letting folks have a peek.
6:49 The way I answered this for myself was to come up with a concrete list of things that I wanted to have in place before I had a child, and a goal of being ready by the time I turned 30 (I was 26 at the time). I then came up with specific plans for each of my goals and started working on them, and by the age of 29, I decided I'd completed most of them and no longer thought the remaining items were important, so I was ready. Now, at 31, I'm pregnant with my first child.
![How do I ask a girl out? // Ask Your Lesbian Moms [AD] [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/es3AWtBHO0E/mqdefault.jpg)
![ละลาย (LALALYE) - DAOU PITTAYA ต้าห์อู๋ พิทยา [OFFICIAL MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wo6r9TgausI/mqdefault.jpg)
Claudia can probably hear the differences in his cries, but Jessica can notice minute changes in his expression and interest
Could be the difference between being hearing and deaf 🤷🏻♀️ people develop skills based on their environment and (for lack of a better word) “non abilities” 🙂
@@ScrotumCat Oh 100%
What an excellent point!
My partner is a teacher, and she wears a sweater with rainbow stripes on the sleeve (not the pride rainbow though). We've coined it the gay safety sweater because a lot kids have opened up to her and specifically said it was because they saw her sweater
that's generous.
How beautiful
Aw
"... we filmed an Ask your Lesbian Mums while you were secretly pregnant, with Jamie and Shaaba"
It took my brain a couple of seconds to hear this in its proper context 🤣
Ah, yes, Jamie and Shaaba, Claudia's children 😂
@@boldanabrasevic3020 I'd watch the heck out of that sitcom
Truly lesbian mums of us all, didn't you know 😋
can anyone explain this sjjdjdj
@@coolgirlzinuwu1615 The way Jessica said the sentence made it seem Claudia was pregnant with Jaime and Shaaba, ie. she gave birth to them
Yes, we can hear Rupert. He's adorable. Sounds like he's just having a good time entertaining himself.
with his Montessori toys !! kick kick punch
I think it's so nice how you acknowledge that Claudia is the emotionally needy one, so it's ok for Claudia to say "it's a lot for me" when Jessica hasn't been able to move. That must help her to cope with the additional pressure and it seems like it makes the balance in the relationship more equal. Often people who have to help a loved one feel like they can't say anything about it being difficult, but it seems like you guys are able to acknowledge it and move on, not build resentment or anything.
I actually commented this at the start then you talked about it anyway
I honestly regret coming out to my mom. I told her I’m a lesbian 12 years ago. She STILL asks me if I’m dating my best friend (a guy), and talks about my “future husband”. She doesn’t get it. She never will. She treats me so much differently than my siblings. I can’t even have sleepovers (with guys or girls), and she makes life so difficult.
sorry to hear that 💔 I hope you have people in your life who do value and understand you though ❤️
@@britischenadligen3760 Thank you. My best friend does. He is wonderful.
My mom does the same thing *sigh*
How old are you?
I’m sorry ❤️
Straights can be so weird 🤣
Yes! For the friends at University, and I feel like this applies to EVERYONE- find friends who will meet you where you are at. Don't try force yourself to be someone you're not, in order to hang out with the people you think you want to be friends with. Find people who understand your limitations and expectations, whether those have to do with disability, you're being introverted, extroverted, neurotypical- whatever it is that makes you unique and special, make sure that you find a group of friends that appreciates and understands those things about you.
Just what I needed to read today, having just kinda made a new friend and feeling fully freaked out I'll be too odd for them :)
@@stellangios If you're too odd for them, then they're too basic for you!
THANK YOU! Needed to hear that!
@@lillieblack9702 Most people leave University and move on beyond their friends, so you are not behind in life. When life gets back to normal a little more join some meetups that you are interested in what they are about. You will match on that level then.
@@lillieblack9702 i wonder if any universities have a society for commuters yet...
You reminded me of when I pushed my husband around Disneyland in a manual wheelchair. People asked why I was doing it? Because we can spend more time together if I pushed the chair then if he walked. Was 💯 worth it.
This is definitely relationship goals
Talking about how one does the physical needs and the other does the social needs was awesome. My boyfriend is technically special needs because he has a severe back and nerve injury. When our boy was a baby, he couldn't do the physical stuff like diaper changes or picking him up or putting him down. His back couldn't handle those types of things. So other women looked at me and clearly saw me as the only involved parent, and him as the stereotypical dad who barely does anything but claims equal credit as a parent. And it bothered both of us a lot.
But the reality was he provides the money, the feeling of safety when our son is scared, the goofy-funny social interactions (I try but it doesn't work. I'm Naturally a very serious person), and our son only wants daddy for bedtime cuddling and only daddy can brush his teeth. And all of those are extremely important, and I'm so glad I don't have to be responsible for making them happen.
I provide the emotional understanding/validation, and the communication. He isn't very interested in words or full sentences yet. He can. He just won't. But I interpret the desires and the emotional needs that cause various meltdowns. His dad can't so that. He's too invested in making the meltdown stop, but since he has trouble understanding the cause of the meltdowns in the first place, he isn't able to make them stop very easily. Our son refuses to let anyone else read to him but me, and he wants to be read to alot. We did Llama Llama red pajama 7 times yesterday, in addition to other books.
I take the pictures and videos and write down the memories we want to keep. His dad has no patience for those things. But he keeps up with every single paper from every dr appointment and other legal documents a person needs to prove who they are in the u.s. I'm Terrible at that stuff. Our son has food allergies and eczema. I did and do all the research and cooking and keeping up with all the medicine and lotions to keep our son healthy and happy and itch/rash/pain free. I track when the last time he was exposed to a food allergen to test his current reactivity to them is and when the next one is scheduled.
His dad makes the surprise plans to go do new things, something else I'm horrible at. As a baby, even though I was breastfeeding, his dad got up every time with me so we could experience things as a family. 8 times a night. He'd pick music for us to listen to while our son ate.
So I love how you guys talked about how from the outside you can't know what the division of labor or need is in a family. You just have to trust the people in that relationship do, and they can competently run their own lives. We as a society need to stop assuming everyone fits the images we personally grew up seeing.
You sound like absolutely wonderful parents.
You both have developed a wonderful family. You are both involved as you two can, and make it work. So great.
It is your choices to make. Early in the 70s Woman's Movement, I had to explain that the movement was about a Woman's choice. If a woman chose to stay at home with the children, then that was her choice. We should support her for that.
@@westzed23 I agree. And the thing is, I never planned on staying home. It never felt like the right thing for me. But when we had him, it was the right thing for us as a family in our circumstances at that time. And then I discovered that I loved it. That it wasn't the punishment it felt like it would be when I was growing up, but instead was the most amazing gift of my life, even beyond having him.
I didn't have a job to go back to when he was 6 weeks old and STILL cried hysterically at the thought of handing my glowing ball of joy that made my soul sing over to another person so I could go to work without him. And we don't have an expectation that I will always be a stay at home mom. But we also have no definitive plan that I will stop being one either. We're doing what feels right for our family, whatever that it is now, and whatever it becomes down the road.
And I'm very lucky to have had my baby with a man who was completely fine with me telling him 'I know I always said I wanted to work, but....'. Because he agrees. He agrees its what's best right now. And he agrees if we keep thinking it's what's best for us, that we should keep doing it without a time limit on it. And that's a gift I never understood prior to having our son either.
I had such strong feelings that I was sure of, and I made negative judgments (silently) on the families who had a stay at home parent. And I had no right to make those judgments, especially under the guise of feminism, which is what I thought I believed in at the time. I'm so glad my views on things have been challenged and widened.
@@thayerwilliams905 You and your husband have made a wonderful family that works best for you. Family dynamics change through the years, and you both are working together on this. I wish you all the best. ❤
@@thayerwilliams905 it really sounds like honesty and openness with eachother and truly expressing your needs is a real strength of your relationship and because of it I hope any times of unease when it's not feeling balanced or not working will only be temporary because you both have given each other permission to communicate discomfort honestly... It sounds like that would really reduce that general anxiety about unknown futures because you know you can share and unload anything with your partner and work on solutions together.
I truly wish you every happiness, you sound like an amazing family and your kid is lucky to have such sensible, doting parents and your relationship as an example of how to be in a relationship and be a real team partnership xxxx
Emotional stability is so underrated, my parents were never really able to provide that and me and my siblings are still suffering from that...
Yep. My mom would basically scream at me anytime I asked her for anything. Now she wonders why I have an anxiety disorder and don't talk to her much.
Yeah coming out never really ends. I’ve come to the point where I’ll bring up being bi really early into knowing someone. If they’re a bigot, it’s better that I know sooner rather than later. If they’re an ally, it’s a great way to break the ice. I’m chronically single so whenever dudes say “oh well I’m sure you’ll make some man very happy one day” I like to come back with “yeah, or a woman” 😉
Everyone thinks I'm gay, so I say the same thing lmao
I keep mentioning I'm non-binary too 😂
Having come out 50+ years ago and still doing it as necessary it does get old. Correcting peoples assumptions gets tiring as well. Sometimes I just smile and let it go. At 62 can I let the younger people have a turn ? I don't care how or if you label yourself as long as you are kind.
I know that this wasn't really the point of your comment but thank you for sharing about your age. I'm 26 and I rarely see LGBTQ+ people past their 30s. Seeing people beyond that, being out and open, kind of gives me hope about my own future.
I'm still trying to figure out my identities and to come to terms with not being cis-het. As I'm sure many can relate to, I often have a hard time visualising a life for myself years or decades down the track.
So thank you for this heart-warming start to my day 💙
@@notadev1590 All good glad you got something from it. I have lots of stories about meeting people alot older than me when I was much younger. A very short version of one is when I was going cross country on motor cycle I helped 2 little old ladies who in turn invited me to stay overnight it turned out they had been together since WW II they had met as code breakers in the Army and had lived secret quiet lives for 60 years. For whatever reason they shared their story with me.
@@notadev1590 another old bird here 🖐️ 63, not a good time as a teenager, came out as lesbian after marriage to a man. Only relatively recently coming to terms with realising that I'm non binary whilst being partnered with my very understanding wife for thirty years and more. Hopefully because these things are up for discussion now you will be able to recognise who you are and how fluid are gender and sexuality that you will suffer less trauma and public humiliation than we did. Be kind to yourself and good luck in your life and love. 🤗🌈
This comment section makes me really happy 😭 gives me a lot of hope for my future.
"We're experts in nothing, but very warmly and lovingly supportive." Thank you Lesbian Moms, this is all we really need and I think you two are experts in this.
RE: "Shipping off half the family," I feel like Jessica is my head and Claudia is my heart on this one. I think it's perfectly reasonable to send puppies off for a slumber party or all-day playdate now and again, especially if the friends have a dog of their own that they're friends with! It can be a fun time for the dogs and a good opportunity to get caught up on rest and/or housework... But the VEHEMENT way Claudia stood her ground really spoke to me on a deep, personal level. 😂
Here in the states, we have doggy day care centers. Dogs can go there foe a few hours or as long as over night. They get to play with other dogs, get groomed, get massages, special treats, and generally have a special and marvellous time. I had a friend who's dog got mad when he missed his weekly visit. It can be good for them and you.
I feel you and I get that every pup and owner is different, but I personally can get very stressed out when someone else is looking after my dog (I don't even 100% trust my parents with her), plus I'm perfectly capable of doing chores with her around, so I usually keep the playdates for times when I must travel somewhere.
@@jackiejames4551 also anyone who has money for that kinda thing is very well off - it's not like anyone can just put hundreds and hundreds for their dog to be somewhere for few hours.
See I am very much of the mind that parents need some time to just be adults. Like my parents would drop us off at our Granny's house for a sleepover, they got to have some grown-up time and me and my sister got to have a bunch of fun because as long as we weren't fighting she let us do whatever and it was GREAT. Or with dogs, nothing wrong with doggy daycare or asking a friend or family member to puppysit for a few days (one of my friends had dogsat for a family friend before) You're not shipping them off to Siberia, you're sending them to a friend's house or grandma's house and they will have a marvelous time and you get some time to yourself.
MVP is most valuable player :) glad you’re okay Jessica!
That definitely describes Claudia perfectly. ❤️
Thank God! In product development it's minimum viable product!
@@emmaliefmann9984 hahha a little different !
Ahh I knew it was the American version of Man of the Match but never knew what the letters stood for. Could!
*cool
I have a trans man friend who is rather traditionally feminine sometimes he chooses to wear dresses and skirts. But he is still a man. Being more fem or masc does not invalidate your transness. It is also possible to be a non-binary trans woman and switch from day to day if that feels most comfortable.
being gender fluid is much less talked about than being non-binary, often the two get lumped together but being gender fluid is quite separate from being non-binary.
@@SevCaswell i mean it depends on the the person. The people I know who are NB also identify as gender fluid.
Hence why I worded the way i did but any expression or lack of is acceptable and valid
@@gothicanimegirl44 precisely. I am Nonbinary but also Librafluid which basically means I fluctuate from Agender to Vagauely feminine.
If the relationship works dose it matter who does what I think folks get far too worked up about who does what and how. If it works then its good & children are fine with that. So bravo both of you and keep it up.
It’s really comforting for my mental stability to know that really nice inclusive people like you guys exist out there
I’ve only read the title but this seems wonderful 🥺 I didn’t grow up with my mom so ty lesbian moms
I'm sorry you didn't get to grow up with your mom, that must have been hard.
fyi there’s a whole series of ask your lesbian mums if you enjoyed the vid :)
Jessica: But I don't think people should judge other people's body and I'm not going to invite others to judge yours.
^^This comment from a wife to another wife warmed my heart.
Jessie: Let's just send the dogs away for a night
Claud: OHANA MEANS FAMILY
Oh my darlings, I'm old enough to be *your* lesbian/non binary parent but you can still teach me how to think of myself in a fluid way... Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 😘🤗 💕 🌈
I've taken in friends animals overnight. A friend's cat stayed with me for two months after a massive fire in the area. It's really nice to borrow some snuggles and feel like I am doing something to help a stressed out friend get a break without being in their way and underfoot. So if a friend offers, take advantage
Thank you for clarifying that while it is wonderful that more people are feeling comfortable talking about and sharing they’re own gender identity, for a lot of people it’s a very personal subject and that it is fully ok to keep those personal things to yourself if you want to. To me, point has always been to be able to present in anyway that feels most true to you without fear, regardless of whether or not you feel like having a discussion about it with someone you just met at the bus stop. Yay for being truly exclusive of all kinds of folks 🥰
@Billie Mello yes and I would add that you should be able to present yourself as you feel comfortable without fear *or embarrassment*...
Just be you. Labels are not important.
Legit^ I present extremely feminine (long hair, dresses for every occasion, etc) so it hasn't been questioned with me by strangers,
but I've been wrestling with the fact that I am Agender (nothing) for the last 10 years minimum.
Although I'm very sure of my feelings, I'm also very conflicted because of a number of factors.
1) I'm a woman in STEM and I feel I want to encourage other woman... but I don't align with "woman" in my head.
2) My mum always wanted a daughter and I've been happy to be her daughter. Although she'd love me no matter what, I don't want her to worry or stress. Obviously I'll do what's best for me in the end as it's my life, but the impact always crosses my mind
3) very high chance I have undiagnosed autism which in women often leads to gender conflict... so... It's still valid? But it's also a whole other can of worms and my paranoia also prevents me going for a diagnosis because my stupid monkey brain doesn't want anything recorded in my medical history (It's dumb I know)
4) because woman are second class citizens based on all the BS still faced, part of me can't help but wonder if that played a roll? I don't want to be sexualized. I cannot wear anything that shows below my collarbones without feeling icky because my chest is inherently sexualized and I'm not okay with that, so the less visible I can make it the more mentally comfortable I feel.
5) Although identity is a deep innate feeling that is innate, and I know mine to be true, I still fight with my own internal self and am like... there's no right or wrong way to be a woman, so why can't I just identify as a woman in my woman born body and leave it at that?
6) Thus, I am just me. Labels are important to be able to articulate your feelings and find a sense of peace perhaps (I'm pansexual and having a word to use for loving people ~ hearts not parts~ has been useful) but when it comes to gendered labels all of these factors and more whiz around my head and I don't wanna have that discussion
7) let's be real, society sucks, so I also wrestle with this because of the stigma, but that also makes me more keen to stand up and show that this is a normal thing any human can feel and we deserve equal human rights.
In short, I have been blessed to not have been asked and have to go through the turmoil with strangers, but I also hope we reach a point where as a society this is such a non issue, not worthy of commenting on. Everyone is equal and respected, and can present how they like without question
Wishing all the best to anyone reading this, although I've wrote an essay about all my inner conflict, I can honestly say though that things do get better. That things HAVE gotten better to me over all these years. It's just when you think too deeply in to why etc it can become a mind fook, but I feel a sense of peace as I exist in this meat vessel that allows me to experience this beautiful crazy world 💜💜💜
@@TheHelveticanbarbie I feel you.I don't want to write another essay (lol), so long story short I go through similar conflicts.
And currently I think like you. And also I believe that over time, being aware of our gender and trying to understand ourselves we tend to be more and more ok with it, with label or not. And that's the most important part, being okay with who you are.
At the end of the day labels are just a way to help us express ourselves, but the label we use (or don't use) won't change who we already are
At 8:19 when Claudia is looking into the camera while Jessica is giving her answer, it felt like I was just making eye contact with her irl and it made me feel extremely calm. Claudia has the best energy ✨💜
Wow. So true.
MVP = "Most Valuable Player "
Or, if we're talking about Claudia: Most Valuable Person.
@@RichardGadsden or Most Valuable Parent? or is that too judgemental?
Holy smokes I've been wondering what it means ever since kissing booth 2
@@SevCaswell just a bit
I am just hoping for the day when "coming out" isn't a thing because nobody makes assumptions or judgments.
Or when everyone has a coming out because everyone is given freedom to choose their sexuality, gender identity and proper education till they are able to decide. Even if they are straight.
Well, it's getting there. People will always make assumptions - it's only natural. But, by and large, most people don't think it's a 'thing'. (UK)
@@Cat_tiee I'm talking about "coming out" in terms of its long history, particularly as a political action against society-wide homophobia. In my generation, to "come out," by definition meant one had to be hidden (i.e. in a closet, and many were for good reason). And that includes not just choosing to be hidden, but unintentionally being hidden by someone else's erasure (e.g. someone asking Claudia about her "husband" erases her lesbian identity and her wife). So many people still keep themselves in the closet because they fear rejection by family and friends and/or violence, all still very real fears that those of us who grew up in families that had homophobic ideologies know very well. I don't know what generation you are, and if you are a lot younger than me like Jessica and Claudia are maybe the phrase has a different meaning, but for many in my generation "coming out" has been an important rite of passage but the phrase also by definition has a particular meaning with a degree of anxiety and fear of non-acceptance baked in.
I want a world where kids are raised in an environment where they can express their orientations and identities as part of normal development, so that there is no "coming out" to be done, just feeling comfortable sharing their own self-discovery and development on the matter. And that the assumption when meeting new people is that they might be of any sexual orientation, with broad knowledge that sexuality and gender identity are highly individual and can be fluid and one's understanding of them can change over time, and certain identities can be unintentionally obscured by one's assumptions (erasure when you have kids and/or are bi and in a straight relationship are very real), so it's better not to make any. There are all kinds of ways to change language and social/cultural norms to achieve this.
So we're kind of saying something similar but I want to get beyond the language and the included various historical connotations of "coming out." We've had to fight for recognition and our identities because so many of us have faced that rejection and violence. You and I want the same thing and are talking about it differently. But the way I see it, in a world where all our various identities and orientations are normalized as typical diversity, there would be no need for "coming out" because nobody would have anywhere to "come out" of.
@@Cat_tiee one of my friends, who is a lesbian, said shortly after she had 'come out' that it really wasn't fair - straight people don't have to make an announcement that they're straight. I agree with her and I really wish we lived in a society where anyone who isn't straight and/or cis-gender has to formally announce and explain that. The sad fact is we're not there yet. My reaction when that friend told me she was a lesbian was something along the lines of "great, I'm happy for you." She was so relieved and I really wish she hadn't needed to feel that way. As far as I'm concerned, my reaction was the only acceptable one in the circumstances, but a lot of other people apparently didn't feel the same way and made her life miserable. I had another gay friend, some of whose former 'friends' crossed the street to avoid speaking to him when they learnt he was gay. That just isn't okay. I know that as a society we've come a long way from where we were decades ago, but we're still nowhere near where we need to be yet.
I need Jessica saying "you'll be alright hun, it's okay" on a loop
Love hearing Rupert chatting away he's so cute!!
I think that boy might start talking really quickly !! He's getting such a head start in life. Which is Not discounting any other baby .
This week has been awful for me, gonna wrap myself in my blankets and watch this vid to feel better. thankyou for everything you do to give us these amazing videos
I myself am wrapped up in blankets. Blankets rule. Hope you feel better or at least hopeful soon. Love from a stranger
Like Karen above, also sending love from a stranger. Take care
Yayyy to love from strangers lol😁 warm hugs from Nice France🌟🍀🤗
hope for day gets better
I send my love as well, also in a blanket 💚
The little baby noises permeating the video really bonifies the moms atmosphere
Hearing Rupert in the background was the best! Hope things get easier for y’all 💜🏳️🌈 Thanks for sharing your wisdom and family with us 😊
He is the star of the show
Just got home from school and my Grandmother's after a long day and traumatic week. I am so glad to just curl up with this video
I can't begin to express just how much I love seeing Jessica, in her ultra feminine fashion, talking about the gender spectrum, alongside Claudia, being the perfect tomboyish mom
I'm so glad Jessica is feeling better
you can tell Claudia’s looking at Rupert off to the left from the loving look she has
When Rupert begins crawling efficiently then you might experience the mess. If he's not curious then you will be fine. I was into everything I could climbe onto!
my nieces were different in that area. One would climb over into the empty tub, the other would be more likely to ignore it.
Awww, little Rupert is so talkative! That's wonderful!!
Hello ladies! Good to see the Lesbian Moms series again!
I've had a rough couple of days because of my chronic illness, and I've been very depressed about it. Watching this kind of videos makes me happy, because I feel I have two moms that care about me and everyone else, and we are not alone🥰
I LOVE that you do this for those that need it because of the love that you both have for each other and everyone else. My heart aches for those whose parents haven't been supportive. MVP= Most Valuable Player and you both have taken turns being that for each other
yes in a marriage , responsibility and duties go up and down at times.
MVP= Most Valuable/Valued Player, usually used for sports team players who have scored the most goals/points for their team.
Claudia looks exhausted yet completely beautiful!!!!!
About the label things, I saw it so much with my mom. Of course she’s a mother bear and loves her children very much, but she never felt truly a woman. Now almost at 60, she finally found a label that makes sense: non binary! But she had to live most of her life without that label
Thank you for this video!! I have been struggling with the fact that I don't contribute financially (I can't handle the stress from working a "real" job) although my husband is fine with me not working. Your answer to the "am I too ill to be a parent" question really helped me see it in a different light. We both have roles we can handle, he works and makes all the money, and I think my problem is the things I CAN handle aren't as visible. I do all the housework, cooking, "typical housewife stuff" and felt like it didn't equal the amount he does for our family. There is an invisible give and take in relationships that gets overlooked. I was trying to be equal when I just can't be. But what I can be is a compliment to what he brings to the table. So, a huge Thank You to you two Lovely People for helping a girl out!! 😊❤
I've recently become (hopefully temporarily) disabled. I've watched you for a few years. I'm glad I have because I've been able to better advocate for myself like you speak about. When you both were talking about the "your husband can get it" stuff it made me write this. I've had deliveries made and have been super forthcoming with the delivery people. I say, "I've had back surgery and my foot is useless can you put that there?" And they do it. So far I've only had one issue of asking and having to fight and it was with my neighbor not wanting to give my cats another scoop of food... um just put the food on the plate! Lol
Jess: ”…or to really annoy bigots. That’s fun. ”
❤️🤣
Claudia, you mentioned reiki in this post. I am a reiki master, and have been practicing since 1989. Having heard Jessica's opposition to being prayed for, I have not offered reiki in the past, but, due to your comment, I would like to offer reiki to both or either of you, whenever you want. All I ask for in return, as there must be energy returned with energy, is that y'all continue to your good works.
Thank you, Claudia! I cannot stress how many times people (specifically the older generations) ask me "do you have any kids" just because I'm married to my husband. I still want to travel and do fun couples stuff before we have kids.
So glad you're feeling better Jessica! Hang in there😁. And yes, Claudia is a rock star.
Wooow there's so many assumptions in those "husband" comments. That you're married, that you're married to a man, that you're still together with them... Such a rude thing to say.
My friend came out to me. I’ve always watched you’re videos partly because I’m disabled but also cause I just love you guys. Watching these videos of you guys have really helped me to support her in her journey and show her an amazing family that is Queer but can still have the classic “white picket fence life.” Thank you for being there for those who are part of the queer community but also for us who want to but don’t always know how to support them and be an alley
12:25 asking people their pronouns is not as good as sharing yours and allowing them the space to share theirs if they are ready. A better question is to ask how to refer to them (eg. in the 3rd person), and maybe once you know them a bit, rather than specifically ask for pronouns, or just use people's name (and maybe practice that, if you forget names easily).
Love how claudia never wants to get rid of the dogs 😍
I’m on Jessica’s side when it comes to having friends/family help with the dogs on occasion. Think of it like babysitting or a doggy vacation rather than shipping them off. I’ve done it to help friends out and it’s nice for the dogs also because they get spoiled for a few days😀
Let's change the narrative and formulation ! We arent gonna have to come out all our life, however we will have to correct people's wrong assumption all our life. Let's make people awkward for assuming (if it's a safe space of course !), maybe they wont do it again then.
I always think Claudia looks lovely, both pre and post baby, as does Jessica.
Sorta related to the subtle ally thing.
Whenever a kid in my class would say anything mildly, something that's offensive that a lot of cis straight people (except for awesome allies) wouldn't know is offensive, my science teacher would casually say something along the lines of "that's offensive, actually," and it really made me happy.
I so appreciate the comment on labels and how you might not have one available yet and that's okay. When I was growing up the term "asexual" wasn't a thing I'd ever heard, so I just thought I was weird for not being at all interested in sex and avoiding it whenever possible. Finding a label that described me was empowering, but just because I didn't know the term doesn't mean I wasn't that thing. I was still asexual! I just didn't have a descriptor for it. So I dearly hope whoever asked knows that a label or lack there of doesn't change who they are! Whether they choose to label themselves or not, they are who they are, and I hope that they live their truth and their best life!
I love these videos. You both are so understanding and make me feel like anything I am is okay and it will be okay.
"MVP" is a baseball term, originally. It means "Most Valuable Player", someone who has done a lot for the team's record in terms of winning and other statistics.
So, she used it properly cause Claudia is the MVP
@@angel-ke9vs and Jessica may get that distinction in the future, and has in the past. UP and down, and no wrong.
I have been wondering whether or not to come out as non-binary for some time. Then I just did, because I have no patience and thinking about whether or not to come out was too annoying. Don't need to think about it if the decision has already been made.
However, that means that I have before really thinking it thought told everyone a new name I use... which I now don't find fitting any more and am again thinking about whether or not to tell everyone to use a different name for me *again*. It's hard, as you can see ^^'.
I came out as nb to a few people, i dont use a different name but the nb label seemed to not fit me as well as i thought it did, i still feel in between i guess but its hard when friends ask "are you still with that non binary thing?" Like if its a phase :/ i hope things get easier for you
god, i relate to this so hard. personally, i have/have had a lot of names, and every time i think of a new one that i really like or i don’t want to use a name anymore i wonder whether i should tell my friend, who i’m out to, about the name change or just continue letting them use the same name(s) for me.
ive gone through a LOT of name changes and im still not 100% settled on what name i want to have used for me like overall/from a legal standpoint! my advice would be choose some people who you speak to frequently that you are close with and that are nice and understanding and use being around them as time to practice with new name. online games or quizzes where you get to set a name are also a nice spot to try out names with low pressure. i find it easier to go ahead living with the name i tell people that im OK with and then when ive settled on a name i really really like in private then i can switch to that and let people know to refer to me by that name! good luck
Ive had many friends who, throughout figuring themselves out, have gone through several different names. By and large the response I have always seen when they switched again was "ok got it, thank you for letting us know!". Obviously everyones situation is different so you have do what feels best for you, but there is definitely a chance that using a new name again wont be a big deal at all. Theres also the option of trying out different names with just 1 or 2 people before announcing it to everyone!
Yes, yes, I know I can only tell few people. But like then I tell only very few people, then I wait, then I'm like "gosh this is much better now that ppl are not using my deadname" and then suddenly I tell way too many people :D. I just have no patience.
Living for the happy baby noises in the background. Glad you’re feeling better, wishing you much joy!
"Oh, you can hear him? Good! 😁"
Such a cute motherly thing
Life goes up and down without it always being under control. How YOU both handle it is a partnership. You both GIVE to each other, and Rupert - and the doggos !! 🐶 And, BTW, you both work on the channel, helping your followers and giving content, which can be rewarding in so many ways. It's an ever changing life at the Fozard house 🏡 , and you are aware and care, which is so admirable !! Great partners, great Mummy & Mama !!
3:14 Poor Jessica got entirely ignored on that.
Find ppl who value u and not just ur social life. If they think u're rude bc u ask for help in areas u can't help, they rn't worth ur time. I've had friends who were in varying degrees of disability before, and if u value the friend, u do activities that included them. If they would rather pick activities that you can't do rather than an activity with you in it, they don't value u the way u deserve.
Thank you mums, appreciate your time given freely. Ruppert your voice over work was lovely.
I can't begin to express how proud I am of both of you for having the strength to share as much of your lives on this channel as you do. You two are making a difference just by being yourselves and setting the example for others to see how it's done properly.
Thank you so much for showing that you can be a parent with a disability. I have congenital Muscular Dystrophy and use a wheelchair full time. You two give me hope that I can fine love, can get married, and can be a mother. I’ve dreamed of being a mother since I was six, and you are showing me that it is possible even though I am disabled.
Hiiii my lovely lesbian moms and my fellow internet siblings
Hahaha, I really like that, 'internet siblings' 🤣 great way to describe is all!
Hi internet sibling, I hope are going to have/are having/had a good day.
Awww I deal with feeling like I don't give enough to my husband bc of my . But I do give him . It's not something that's intuitive to him but I think he's really coming around to appreciate it. Thank you for this convo
Those Jessica and Claudia stickers at the end are amazing!
Gorgeous xxx I love seeing how you keep affirming each other as valid partners and are also real about the frustrations and tiredness that makes life normal! I love how down to earth and frank you guys are as well as gorgeous 😊
My husband and I discussed telling our future kids to bring home whoever makes them happy. All we ask is that they let us know the person's pronouns ahead of time so we don't make an awkward situation of meeting your girl/boyfriend's parents even more awkward.
The pair of you are adorable and Rupert sounded like he was quite entertained. Thanks for posting! Always makes my day! Stay safe and happy!
11:52 To the person who said they weren’t sure if they’re non-binary or trans, I would point out that sexual orientation is fluid. Jessica is very gay while Claudia is slightly bi possibly leaning more towards being attracted to women than men. Some bi people are slightly more into men than women and some are smack in the middle. So I think gender identity can be the same.
I watch these videos for you two but I also love hearing Rupert! 🥰🥰🥰
I gotta say the best advice i've heard concerning lgbt+ issues always comes from people older than my generation (1991). The LGBT community can be devisive as heck. The labels just kind of seperate everyone out into cliques more than they were already doing to themselves. I constantly find myself butting heads with baby rainbows who make hurtful, toxic comments all the time.
This is what I needed ☺️ so happy to see you a bit better
12:25 Whoever sent this in is an angel. That question sums up my situation perfectly and between the video and the comments, there was some things I really needed to hear 💙
At university as a chronically ill person, I found most of the people I got on best with were either slightly older students, people who travelled in from out of town, or fellow nerds who loved gaming and reading etc 😅 I still did feel a little left out of the night-time social stuff as I mostly couldn't go, but a lot of those people couldn't or didn't want to either so it worked out. Funnily enough I'm now great friends with some of the people I didn't hang out with at the time, who have now lost interest in clubbing and love a chill night in!
It’s so nice to watch people with a healthy value talk about things❤️
Identifying with a label you just haven't found yet...... that was me big time. I'm asexual and for the longest time I didn't have the language, so I didn't have the community or the way to fully articulate what I was feeling I just had this..... thing, or a lack of a thing type thing. And then I found the word and it was wonderful. So I get that.
I can happily hear Rupert! 🙂💖
whatever he is saying, I'm down !!
As a human whose been in college almost 10 years and has struggled to make friends, I have some tips! Join a club or two! Find low commitment ones that it's okay if you miss meetings. I'm currently in a "Bad Bugs Book Club" where we get two free books about Malaria (1 fiction, 1 nonfiction) and we meet via zoom five times in the semester. No expectation to arrive to each one.
There's also the lettuce club, where they meet once a semester to eat an entire head of lettuce and who ever finishes the fastest is the "head of lettuce club". Great talking point, low commitment, great way to get new friends.
Finally, if your college has a tutoring center this is a great way to bond with people studying the same field as you AND get help with classes.
I was away for a while and it is so wonderful to come back to fantastic familiarity!!!!
I never really had to come out either and I honestly don't care too much about my labels either and just use queer if someone asks.
I noticed that I don't need labels and would only figure them out for others so why should I even bother.
Yes. Thank you for being everyone's lesbian moms... you have amazing insights and the fact that you are both down to earth but also positive. Rupert is so lucky to have you as his parents!
Lmfao Jess was READY to put the moves on Claud @ 3:16
Yet another absolute Gem of a video Jessica and Claudia, especially the way you spoke about ' Gender is a broad spectrum ' just be whoever you are even if their isn't a word for it yet ( you described it better ).❤👍
I loved this video like all of your other videos. It was so calming and wonderful!
Rupert is having a lovely chat with his current attention fixation, which was adorable and didn't distract me from your content at all. But I'm a mom and Nana, so happy baby noises are just there while we have our adult time.
Most Valuable Player☺️
This series is so cute! i'm pretty open with my mom, I feel like I can say anything to her, but she doesn't have the experience of being a lesbian and sometimes she just can't give me advice or just tell me about certain expeciences I may have
I really get the vibes of moms and daughter conversation, that's totally lovely, thank you 💕
We need a video about just the dogs and their maintenance and how Jessie has modified her mobility needs to help care for them, when she isn’t injured.
I really enjoy watching you guys together. Your relationship and interaction with one another is so special and neat to see. I'm not explaining very well, I'm sorry. You can just see how your relationship is. Thank you for letting folks have a peek.
Baby hasn't started eating (or throwing) solids yet. I've all but given up on cleaning my floors. 🤦♀️
Most aware people would not judge your floors !! They'll be clean, one day. lol
How many extra takes did you have to do, because the little one had a particularly creative squak? 😁
Such a safe feeling video. The mum vibes are strong 💕🥰
this was so warm and wholesome and made my day❤️
6:49 The way I answered this for myself was to come up with a concrete list of things that I wanted to have in place before I had a child, and a goal of being ready by the time I turned 30 (I was 26 at the time). I then came up with specific plans for each of my goals and started working on them, and by the age of 29, I decided I'd completed most of them and no longer thought the remaining items were important, so I was ready. Now, at 31, I'm pregnant with my first child.