OFAwe Thats not the only weird thing. It is said that his father and mother were having their 42nd anniversary in the same year meaning his father was marriage when he was ~1. Also his father also served in the vietnam war which would only be possible if he was less than 4 years old if you compare the dates.
Amir’s monologue is fucking hilarious but what keeps getting me is the intermittent cuts to Jake staring into the shakey camera, chewing in dead silence as Amir yells the story at him.
It lines up perfectly! When Amir’s dad lost the bet and had to teach Amir how to drive, he was 4 making his dad 16 at the time. The episode was “driving lessons”
Here's some shit I threw together for fun. Just in case you want to bring the old Amir back without a sudden and abrupt change: Amir: Hey Jake Jake: What? Amir: Jake Jake: I said, "What?" Amir: Shut up, I'm trying to tell you a story! You lowly piece of- Jake: I don't want to hear your latest pathetic story about how you experienced lots of pain in a deserving yet depressing way. Amir: That's funny, because my story is actually about an oppressing cray... fish *hold up bloodied hand with crayfish clamped on* Jake: Didn't rhyme, don't want to here your story, and what's with all the rhyming jokes? Amir: You never laugh at my rhyming jokes! And so I was walking in the park yesterday to sit behind my usual bush and watch the joggers with my binoculars, my usual Saturday morning... Jake: That's because they're weird, and not funny; also, yesterday was Tuesday, when you didn't come to work all day. Amir: Well maybe that's because we've stopped hanging out so now I spend all my time at dollar stores buying random pik-taks Jake: Nick-nacks Amir: and I sit on the street and think of things to rhyme them with with the hope of-of creating some of the-the-the lost friendship we had! And I was thinking about some of those rhymes when a particularly attractive rear end found itself in my binoculars and I found myself following it Jake: Creepy, and we never hung out to the point that you would need to fill hours of a day with something - ever. Amir: We used to hang out at your apartment all the time! And so I was following this godlike booty when I ran straight into a tree that I didn't see in my-my-my animal like pursuit and got knock out cold! Jake: YOU hung out in MY apartment all the time, while I wasn't there! And stop telling your story, I don't want to hear it, and it's already pathetic enough. Amir: Well sorry for getting kicked off the property 6 times for trying to break into your room! And so I tumbled down the hill, unconscious, until my body found its way into a creek. Jake: You never even asked me if I wanted to hang out, I could have let you in to prevent you from attempting to break my window at the very least. Amir: Yes, I would love to hang out tonight! And so then hours later I woke up with this guy eating the flesh off of my hand *shakes hand around* Jake: Not what I said, don't want to hang out tonight, and that was actually better than I expected. Amir: There was also one on my dick Jake: Ah! Man! Amir: So tonight is good on my schedule... and tomorrow night... actually all this week - wait, nay, make that this month... Jake: Look, if I go to dinner with you tonight will you stop putting yourself in these situations and stop making the rhyming jokes? Amir: Yesssss every night sou- Jake: Not every night, just tonight Amir: Gorsh darn it okay fine Dinah 2niteeeee? Jake: Yes, just tonight though, ok? Amir: Yeah, just tonight Jake: Ok Amir: *looks up from phone* booked for the month! Like I said, it's shit, but I said I'd write something last video and felt like carrying through with that... also, this allows me to procrastinate studying for finals.
Haha thanks guys, but it's really not. Honestly I just sorta wrote some stuff down. There are so many typos (hear*, knocked*) and bad phrasing, it needs heavy editing... Not that it matters, I doubt they'll even read it, I'm just embarrassed of the mistakes and acknowledging the fact that I know the typos are there and I am aware the writing is bad. Just in case any grammar commenters, (whom I have at times been among, so no offense!) wanted to let me know; don't worry, I am aware!
battlebots1 The script is great, and it's a really nice contrast to the current style of Jake and Amir. I feel like they kind of over-exaggerated the theme over the last year, and now it's just flat and cartoony.
Ive watched this episode so many times but i just realized that amirs dad just had some kind of noxious base ready in his pocket for a situation like this
Amir is reading the whole monologue on his computer screen, but the editing showing parts of Jake on screen time to time is made so you can think that Amir is actually improvising/or not reading at all.
Gab G You're close, but from Amir's Instagram post when this originally came out, it looks like he has an actual script beside his laptop. So, he probably had it at least partially memorized. Oh, and in the reflection in Amir's glasses, it looks like Jake is on the screen the entire time. Which makes sense because they write these together so he was probably adding ideas throughout the shoot. Just a guess, but that's what it looks like to me.
Canonically, Amir is the biggest failure of the family. Dad- Pediatrician Mom- Registered Nurse Both siblings- Doctors Amir- Unpaid consultant for College Humor
And a college humor ad showed before this cant watch one of these without it being an ad or an ad in the begining and sometimes if im unlucky I get a ad and a ad video
would have been funnier if jake never said anything and at the last second it cut to an over the shoulder of him and his screen and hes watching netflix or something.
This video is pretty much a summary of mine and college humors relationship. I being Jake feeling obligated to watch these videos since I have been for years, CollegeHumor being Amir telling shitty jokes desperately hoping I'll laugh
I am hardly attention seeking. This Jake and Amir stuff is like all they ever release now, so why not make it a stand alone channel an keep all the other stuff here. They rarely ever release the good CollegeHumor originals anymore, just ads(I have no problem with ads as long as they are funny, which some are) and Jake and Amir.
![ประสบการณ์ จ้าง Developer ที่ผมจะไม่มีวันลืม [ภาค2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/pZbsSDRrmXA/mqdefault.jpg)
Amir, for all of his faults, is a fantastic storyteller
he is, he is
What faults?
@@spodybanjack8800 you know he stabbed me once.
Paul Fuoco-Binette ONCE
@@slycooper459 Shit, really? I'm sorry
Just realised amir's dad had him when he was 12.
Right!?
+dwsokol No!
But he moved
First Last His dad frickin moved!
OFAwe Thats not the only weird thing. It is said that his father and mother were having their 42nd anniversary in the same year meaning his father was marriage when he was ~1. Also his father also served in the vietnam war which would only be possible if he was less than 4 years old if you compare the dates.
"Hold still or you're a dead. You're an absolute dead"
Favourite line
Isn’t it dad?
can we all admire this fking 5 min monolgue.... sht why isnt amir in Hollywood
its actually a cool story
i mean gross
but better than others he tells
I just now realized he is probably reading of the screen
Kwstas Nikolaidis because Hollywood RUINS PEOPLE
I think it's more of a diatribe at this point
I just love the rapid changes from funny to sad, to horrible and back to funny.
“How the hell did I turn out so normal” LMAO Amir is the best
"You're a dead! You're an absolute dead!"
So Amir's dad is 42, but Amir is 31. That's either a really hidden joke or his family is even more messed up than I thought.
This means that Amir's dad was 15 when he was teaching Amir to drive.
Also in the feminist episode, we learn his parents were celebrating their 42nd wedding anniversary
i dont think amir knows basic math
@@supremesantosI'm not saying incest but like It would explain a lot
@@lechonk_supporter6810
Someone remembered the old-fashioned Blumenfeld Family F***-fest.
After the zituation can you guess what his dad did? He freaking moved!
Lol
With spindly little legs?
@@jamatth52 nightmarishly thin.
i think this might be amir's best story
The breakfast one is actually really funny
"He hits my zit/boil/lord and saviour" hahah love it, and when Jake leaves to get chips haha
Who else got this ode to Norm Macdonald at 0:51
Amir’s monologue is fucking hilarious but what keeps getting me is the intermittent cuts to Jake staring into the shakey camera, chewing in dead silence as Amir yells the story at him.
every line in this episode is hall of fame worthy
Can we please have an animation for this?
The mental image hurts too much to bear..
The animation is called "Family Guy" considering they had an episode about this exact thing.
Which
Mr. Limekiller which!
@@wildlydistraughtindividual
I don't remember that at all.
Episode "Brian the bachelor" Chris gets a huge pimple named Doug that starts talking and he "feeds" with grease.
His dad is 42? So he had him when he was, what... 12?
That is not in the least bit surprising.
+FuckingRat on a freakin whim!
It lines up perfectly! When Amir’s dad lost the bet and had to teach Amir how to drive, he was 4 making his dad 16 at the time. The episode was “driving lessons”
I think that this is, hands down, my favourite J&A. It's so well told, I feel like they should make more of these weird solo spiel episodes.
of of of of of of
this this this this this this
*MUCUS.*
It just isn't the same when Jake doesn't point Amir out on the stuff he says.
He reminded him of the word "baster" when he couldn't think of it.
I like Jake's Banana computer. Finally Apple has some competition.
sup
Do you mean Amir's laptop?
android is better dan da applez
littlebitwonky he was correcting it was amir's computer not Jake's
Zayasays Someone was too eager to be a douche. He failed.
I feel sad for Amir at times...
It was earned
Here's some shit I threw together for fun. Just in case you want to bring the old Amir back without a sudden and abrupt change:
Amir: Hey Jake
Jake: What?
Amir: Jake
Jake: I said, "What?"
Amir: Shut up, I'm trying to tell you a story! You lowly piece of-
Jake: I don't want to hear your latest pathetic story about how you experienced lots of pain in a deserving yet depressing way.
Amir: That's funny, because my story is actually about an oppressing cray... fish *hold up bloodied hand with crayfish clamped on*
Jake: Didn't rhyme, don't want to here your story, and what's with all the rhyming jokes?
Amir: You never laugh at my rhyming jokes! And so I was walking in the park yesterday to sit behind my usual bush and watch the joggers with my binoculars, my usual Saturday morning...
Jake: That's because they're weird, and not funny; also, yesterday was Tuesday, when you didn't come to work all day.
Amir: Well maybe that's because we've stopped hanging out so now I spend all my time at dollar stores buying random pik-taks
Jake: Nick-nacks
Amir: and I sit on the street and think of things to rhyme them with with the hope of-of creating some of the-the-the lost friendship we had! And I was thinking about some of those rhymes when a particularly attractive rear end found itself in my binoculars and I found myself following it
Jake: Creepy, and we never hung out to the point that you would need to fill hours of a day with something - ever.
Amir: We used to hang out at your apartment all the time! And so I was following this godlike booty when I ran straight into a tree that I didn't see in my-my-my animal like pursuit and got knock out cold!
Jake: YOU hung out in MY apartment all the time, while I wasn't there! And stop telling your story, I don't want to hear it, and it's already pathetic enough.
Amir: Well sorry for getting kicked off the property 6 times for trying to break into your room! And so I tumbled down the hill, unconscious, until my body found its way into a creek.
Jake: You never even asked me if I wanted to hang out, I could have let you in to prevent you from attempting to break my window at the very least.
Amir: Yes, I would love to hang out tonight! And so then hours later I woke up with this guy eating the flesh off of my hand *shakes hand around*
Jake: Not what I said, don't want to hang out tonight, and that was actually better than I expected.
Amir: There was also one on my dick
Jake: Ah! Man!
Amir: So tonight is good on my schedule... and tomorrow night... actually all this week - wait, nay, make that this month...
Jake: Look, if I go to dinner with you tonight will you stop putting yourself in these situations and stop making the rhyming jokes?
Amir: Yesssss every night sou-
Jake: Not every night, just tonight
Amir: Gorsh darn it okay fine Dinah 2niteeeee?
Jake: Yes, just tonight though, ok?
Amir: Yeah, just tonight
Jake: Ok
Amir: *looks up from phone* booked for the month!
Like I said, it's shit, but I said I'd write something last video and felt like carrying through with that... also, this allows me to procrastinate studying for finals.
i agree
Look who's about to get hired. (Seriously that would trump everything they've made at least in the past year.)
Haha thanks guys, but it's really not. Honestly I just sorta wrote some stuff down. There are so many typos (hear*, knocked*) and bad phrasing, it needs heavy editing... Not that it matters, I doubt they'll even read it, I'm just embarrassed of the mistakes and acknowledging the fact that I know the typos are there and I am aware the writing is bad. Just in case any grammar commenters, (whom I have at times been among, so no offense!) wanted to let me know; don't worry, I am aware!
battlebots1 The script is great, and it's a really nice contrast to the current style of Jake and Amir. I feel like they kind of over-exaggerated the theme over the last year, and now it's just flat and cartoony.
zit/boil/lord and savior
That was probably one of the best of amir's performances
How the hell did I turn out so normal?
everyone's talking about the banana computer but nobody's talking about jake's chip selfie
I bet after that Thanksgiving Amir's dad frikkin' moved.
If Amir is 31 and his dad is 42 then his dad was 11 when he had Amir, which explains most of the stories about how poorly he was raised
I've been watching these diva roaches for years and I still consistently make the mistake of eating while watching these videos
This video is still pretty funny if you also mute it after the flan joke. Amir’s expressions and gesticulations are beautiful to watch.
probably the only reason I'm still subbed to ch.
Thats a phenomenal video chat quality
Every Jake and Amir episode is art.
Ive watched this episode so many times but i just realized that amirs dad just had some kind of noxious base ready in his pocket for a situation like this
Probably bleach
He says mace.
I think this was the only one i havent seen. Amazing
nipel ofrobbaz there's always more just gotta look
i've watched this video probably twenty times and only now am i noticing the sticky note of the banana on the apple logo
Amir has a dead pixel.
It bothers me so.
He does? Where?
Where?
On jakes nose.
Happy thanksgiving!
My favorite rant of all time. Taupe!
Is this improvised? Jake & Amir is the greatest show on CH!
Semi improvised
Amir is reading the whole monologue on his computer screen, but the editing showing parts of Jake on screen time to time is made so you can think that Amir is actually improvising/or not reading at all.
Gab G You're close, but from Amir's Instagram post when this originally came out, it looks like he has an actual script beside his laptop. So, he probably had it at least partially memorized.
Oh, and in the reflection in Amir's glasses, it looks like Jake is on the screen the entire time. Which makes sense because they write these together so he was probably adding ideas throughout the shoot. Just a guess, but that's what it looks like to me.
Wrong. That would be Troopers.
Don't forget Badman either along with Stormtroopers
Love how they gloss over Amir’s dad being 42 and Amir being like 30
who needs apple computers, amir has a banamac
How can you describe this as anything else but a burlesque show?!
Amir is 30, so if his dad is 42 what does that mean?
XDDDD
Time travel
amir was adopted by his dad when he was 10
That was the first thing I thought of. Something just didn't compute
He freaking moved!!
is it just me or when amir gets worked up and his voice gets high (eg 3:15) hes a dead ringer for seinfeld
It sounds like Amir said "Nice" in the intro
What an amazing performance
I was literally just paying attention to everything but Amir like Jake was doing
‘this this this this mucus, this pusy mucusy gravy’
well done sir
This is probably one of the funniest episodes ever
I'll give Amir this, when he's got an agenda, he commits.
Here for my yearly pilgrimage
Jake walking away had me in tears!
Great video keep up the good work
***** gj keyori
Canonically, Amir is the biggest failure of the family.
Dad- Pediatrician
Mom- Registered Nurse
Both siblings- Doctors
Amir- Unpaid consultant for College Humor
It’s called not knowing how to raise your kids
How did Amir "March downstairs" when his room is in the basement?
This is one of my favorite episodes :D
underrated episode.
Lol I love these episodes, defiantly should post more! Cuz they is fuuuuunny!
This was a pretty good one, love the amir stories.
Gotta love Amir's family.
And a college humor ad showed before this cant watch one of these without it being an ad or an ad in the begining and sometimes if im unlucky I get a ad and a ad video
Thanks, i like to watch these videos while eating ..
The writing for this show is amazing.
A huge overgrown zit story reminds me of Invader Zims zit episode.
love love love you guys
This is Amir's greatest performance.
Best monologue ever!
YAY new jake and amir.
picking a well set sticker from any surface takes you to another universe
Replace the "who wants pizza?" line at 4:12 to "did somebody say KFC?" and turn this into a KFC ad PLEASE.
all about dat mace bout dat mace
No BUBBLE!
this is one of their best! i laugh every time at 2:01
I love Banana Mike-Books
"This this 42 year old raisin of a prune"
Relatable.
"He hits my zit/boil/Lord and saviour" 😂
Anyone notice the banana over the Apple logo?
+Evan Brown No, you were the only one.
yea
"BANANA!!"
"Wh...? You think I said banana?"
would have been funnier if jake never said anything and at the last second it cut to an over the shoulder of him and his screen and hes watching netflix or something.
Omg in this one I actually felt really sorry for Amir... Still hilarious though
i wonder if amir did it in one take
1 take Amir
did anyone else notice that instead of having an Apple computer Amir put a sticky note over it with a banana on it?! Haha he has a banana computer now
Why have I never seen this one? It says from 2014, but it seems newer than that? Are there some episodes that were private?
This video is pretty much a summary of mine and college humors relationship. I being Jake feeling obligated to watch these videos since I have been for years, CollegeHumor being Amir telling shitty jokes desperately hoping I'll laugh
Then don't watch it ya donut
I feel like Jake every time I watch one of these sketches
Flantastic!
I want to see Amir's story animated
BEST MONOLOGUE EVER
This is the craziest one
I wonder what kind of laptop he has
Banana
Amir was 31 when this aired. His father had him when he was 11.
When Amir says his line about noxious liquid he sounds like Marty McFly
So if amirs dad is 42 and amir is in his 30s his dad conceived him when he was 12 years old? Guess it shouldn't be surprising at this point.
Holy shit, I haven't watched Jake and Amir in so long that Jake is going bald and Amir is going gray. I see I haven't missed much.
wow. that's almost 5 minutes of nonstop talking. that's a talent.
of of of of of
this this this this this
was that a How to get Ahead in the World of Advertising reference?
Amir carries this series.
"How the hell did I turn out so normal?" 😂
I've watched this episode like 5 times and never realized Amir's dad is 42 but Amir is 30
Someone call me when CollegHumor scraps the Jake and Amir stuff and starts doing funny videos again.
I am hardly attention seeking. This Jake and Amir stuff is like all they ever release now, so why not make it a stand alone channel an keep all the other stuff here. They rarely ever release the good CollegeHumor originals anymore, just ads(I have no problem with ads as long as they are funny, which some are) and Jake and Amir.
He says after clicking on the video and staying long enough to post a shitty comment
Michael Rich I think it's just time to move on from college humor like the original funny cast and writers did.
Actually this is the only comical series that CollegeHumor still does IMO.