14 Ways A Narcissist Will Punish You
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
- #narcissist #narcissism #narc con
Covert narcissists generally punish their targets for perceived or real transgressions or basically any threats to the narcissists control. The narcissist dislikes attention taken away from them as they feel entitled to to all the attention and adulation on offer. They also are threatened by their sources of narcissistic supply getting attention or emotional validation from anyone or thing other than themselves. There are many covert and cowardly way narcissists seek retribution for perceived wrongdoings to them and here we list 14 ways a narcissist will punish their targets or sources of narcissistic supply. These are essentially red flags in a relationship with someone and display a low level of toxic emotional immaturity.
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If a narcissist leaves you, PLEASE LET THEM GO! THIS IS WONDERFUL!
I just wanted to share that God delivered me today. I got my two year order of protection.❤ I can feel the peace wash over me!
Congrats!!! 🌺❤
So happy for you❤
God bless you ❤
Praise God! 😢
Fantastic 🎉
THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH A TOXIC PERSON IS TO FORGET ABOUT THEM ❤️
💯 Fast and effective!
Don’t look for the problem look for the solution!
@@smokeybear7669 Yep, thank you for the reminder.
Why doesn’t everyone do this? All we gotta do is forget.
Not that easy after being with one for 37 years… a lot of mental scars.
@@Oceansgreen the best way to solve your problem is not get involved with that toxic person 37 years ago. You’re welcome for such helpful advice. 🤣🤣
I pity them for their wasted lives. They really destroy everything worth living.
They spy on you as well and accuse you of things you havn’t done…. Things they imagine you are doing.
That's projecting the guilt on to you, of the things that they are actually doing.
@@terrycato3555 You are so right… absolutely spot on.
Yep!
I had a narc neighbor who just retired .. she heard I had a small problem w my car .. she literally laid down on the side of the street as I road by thinking she’d see a oil geyser under my car as I road by .. these ppl are so dramatic .
The biggest punishment they do, is to hurt the one thing you care for and love and thats the children.
They use the children to break you . 😢😢😢😢😢
Yes.we had three children, 2 boys 1 girl... the first boy died @ 5 months before birth. The narc said the doctor told him that baby was a monster.!!!
Second Son, after birth was rolling his eyes, which is common ,he said the boy was crazy......the girl born cesarean because she was breach, he barely made it to the hospital one leg was half out!!! Absolute DRAMA,TRAUMA & CHAOS constantly. He had to do it to keep total control over everything. The list of dysfunction is endless plus he was an alcoholic & prescription drug addict. What an insane mix. He turned the children against me, he had hidden most of the money from our Construction business so I couldn't get to it. I finally divorced him, went to Hawaii on a j9b transfer. I would send for the kids when I got settled.( they wanted to stay with him$$$$). He died of bone cancer. The kids were grown then but refused to help their Father.
I flew from Maui to care for him when his Mistress of many years.....ran away. I morally could not let him die alone which he would have had I not been there at his death !!! Narcissim is from Hell.
@@stupensardi2783my heart knows your pain
I'm so sorry that demon mother inlaw stole the years from you and your daughter -
The damage they creat is pure evil and sadistic.
Big hug to you ❤ from me
Yes I've got a wicked mother-in-law too, the covert back-stabbing jealous little woman has smeared my name to her whole family then tried to turn one close member of my family against me which failed to work as I have a good relationship with all of my family. Covert's are horrible.
Thats exactly what I expierienced!
They do it in a way you think that’s not possible and for a loving kind it’s like living hell cause they do it in a couvert way with a big smile and a kind of making you feel that they are little harmed children, you are forbidden to hurt! ( but they have every right to be cruel to you, cause they appear litke don’t know what they are doing)
You got what I try to say???
Narcissists want's to removes what's valuable to their target,to a mom it is the child. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.
I have decided to write a book about my experience with the narc and how Jesus deliverd me.
I will be reading that book , I as well would like to write a book too
@@Yellow-oc4sl thank you hun, yes we write books to educate people🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I am writing a book now.@@Yellow-oc4sl
Do it please. It helps a lot!! I realized what I was dealing the moment I listen something I'd lived previously that has no sense for me. I was trying to record a talk with someone changing my words, I was not even suspecting him, I was wondering how I told the things that he understood the opposite (a technique). Same experience like me!! I have a tremendous memory and never have this urgency or need to record a talk with nobody. But I Never before listened or know about this personality disorder. It is shocking to know about it.
Jesus is the narcissist's tool to control.
After my narc sister gave me the silent treatment she started on the ghosting. And when I would see her, she'd triangulate me. So, one day after 50 plus years, I said "no more" Finally my cup got full. I went full No Contact. It's been 4 years and 2 months. I feel wonderful for it and I'm never going back!
I moved 5 states away from my narc sister. She manipulated my husband of 25 years and destroyed any trust I had in him. He also allowed her to do this. He was her flying monkey.
I had a similar experience. I told them that I wouldn't be responding to any 'news through the grapevine'/triangulation anymore and they magically? stopped bugging me!
Same here.. I'm done. Walking away from her.
Thank you for sharing. 🙏
10:09 my brother is a psychopath , Narc no contact no more rubbish.
👏👏👏👏 Bravo!!! So proud and happy for you 👏💐👏💐❤️
Look at remi sleeping.. adorable.
Remi is a joy
He loves the sound of his mother's sweet voice - it lulls him to sleep. 💤
1. Withhold answers or information
2. Bait you, hoping you are triggered or annoyed
3. use triangulation to put you down
4. 3rd party critique
5. Lying by omission
6. Steal and leave
7. Uses your children against you- to punish you
8. Damage a thing or person you care about
9. Smear your name
10. Mini- discard (silent treatment/ disappearance)
11. Extended discard (until he needs you again)
12. Social media
13. Not interested in closure
14.
15. Hide items from you
great list
One word: Evils
Yes. And it starts at hello
My narc ex claimed I was a narc because of point 10 & 11…when I went no contact due to his cheating and had to block him due to his constant verbal/emotional/psychological abuse - IMPOSSIBLE to stay friends with one after a break up.
@@grand_air_trine_astro Unwilling to put in the effort required to build genuine self esteem (by doing the basics that others are willing to work on, like meditation/prayer, eating right, getting exercise, pursuing goals/hobbies, daily affirmations, etc)… NPD's gain their (fake AF) sense of self worth by crushing/collapsing the self worth of others.
I was dealing with a narcissist, and I had no idea at first due to his charm. I started to feel weird with him and I said that I feel like I am at the mad hatters' tea party when I am with you. How ironic that you said that too, I am now trying to stay away from him, your videos have made me realise the truth about him, thank god.
The hate he have for me for leaving him , is bigger then the love he should have for the child😢
There's so many Narc's who puts the children against their mom,pure evil! JazzyT.
Not hate, but they had so many grudges, I couldn't keep up! They loved their grudges much more than the precious things. Ug!
When a narcissist baited me into argument- I blocked that narcissist permanently
Chiming in: A main 'punishment' is that they plant distressing seeds/weeds when you are 'together' that you didn't notice at the time or took in gest, but crop up afterwards, out of the blue, even long afterwards while recovering. For me, the aftermath is the more difficult phase.
I was in hell for 45 years. The worse of all that it was that I had never searched for the problem because I thought the problem was me or something I had done. My toxic narc mother and my narc sister had done many confusion things in my life. I believe my brother has some characteristics of a narc but I don't know. I was able to escape from them for some even more painful problem they caused me. So now I am far away from them for more than 10 years and it is heaven.
Good for you. 💕 You didn't know what you didn't know. I didn't find out until much later in life as well. Ignorance is bliss but knowledge is power. You know now that's so that matters.
@@user56gghtf thank you for your kind yours.
Dr Jay Reid has good videos about the Scapegoat child. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.
This is exactly my story!❤
You are 💯 correct about being triggered to jealousy. I never struggled a bit with that until the Narcissist. I was triangulated to oblivion and then called insecure when it bothered me. She was just “being cordial” with other men. 🙄
Prime example of the “jealousy “ trip. My mother will not do one thing to help me. And because I ratted her abuse out to punish me, she bought my daughter a $7,000.00 yellow diamon tennis bracelet. She flaunted it in my face. Of course while shunning me. I didn’t let my daughter know how soul crushing this was. I was homeless at the time and in need. My mother flipped that feels ng into me being jealous. I was hurt, not jealous. I was happy for my daughter and that should not be confused with the other. My mother knows what she did. My daughter asked me point blank if I am jealous of her. That’s the moment I realized, my mother was systematically using my children, to seek revenge for letting the abuse story out.
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@@rauxieswisdom3102 I'm so sorry I know the pain the altament heart wrinch and did your mom make you homeless . My narc is trying to make me go home less I'm scared to death but I'm not giving up on me and I have to keep on
Don't give up on yourself then that's them winning.
Your mother may have money, but she will never have happiness. Find your happiness far away from that evil bitch.
Wowwwww .😮😮😮 I feel for you girl ❤❤
This week ends an Order of Protection put on my daughter when she was 17. It has lasted for two years. My ex Narcissist boyfriend (retired fireman of 27yrs) put it on her after beating HER up. She defended herself and we became entangled with the legal system. He played the victim and told lies about myself and at the time my 17 year old daughter. I praise God for our triumph over this evil puppet, my ex Sociopath. They can do a lot of damage when they want to take you down. Thank God also for great defense attorneys. They are master deceivers and know how to work the system. I wish everyone a blessed week.
VERY SIMILAR EXPERIENCE
@@cancerianzodiac5349 They are pure evil. I didn’t know anything about Narcissists. Now I have the knowledge. They wear their masks very tight. Ex husband is one and ex boyfriend of 10 years is Sociopathic. Radical acceptance of my familial structure of Narcissism. Sorry you suffered under these soul rapers. So many people have no idea. Paula is brilliant in my opinion.
KARMA will punish narcs ... Sooner or later ... When KARMA hits - IT hits HARD.
P.G.😮
Hidden objets,car brakes tampered, bruises she did to herself,after I helped her financially she left me without any food to go on a cruise,smear campaign saying I was depressed,called thé police,called the medical assistance and said I was crazy...That's what my mother did to me despite my helping her after my father passed away.
All that you said is true.
Im so sorry,when its your parents, it is very hard to get thru ,but you have to know above all it is not you!Please get away
It would be hard to believe if so much of it hadn't happened to me
Looking so pretty, bronze, healthy, and glowing! And Remi….so very sweet. He makes me want to take a nap…lol
Cowardly…yes. It’s a perfect word to describe them.
Ditto this!!! Paula-looking great!! Enjoy so much with “The Remy” 😇🐶🥰
🙏🌹
Wow Paula, you look amazing! Back here checking in again. Thx for your videos!
Keep them coming good info❤🎉
I was punished with the triangulation, smear campaign, criminal case against me(not guilty) custody case, financial abuse. I’ve experienced every weapon from a Narc! I’m healing and free now, and can feel how I’m going to bounce back stronger than ever💪
Invisible knives of emotional torture.
Narcissist's cut you to the heart and feel smug about it.💔
Absolutely!!! 19 years!! I kept hearing the word Narc. So I did my research. Every bullet point, is Him. Theres alot to my story, and its not over!! I would love to share with someone💕 I truly Give God all the GLORY!!!! HE OPENED MY EYES TO THE TRUTH!!!!❤️🔥
Enlightened Target is a Christian,she has video's about Narcissism and gives help to survivors of Narcisstic abuse. JazzyT.
Yes , I too , I was blind and now I see thank you God and all glory to him , no more of that toxic behaviors in my life ever again, father forgive them for they know not what they do , father forgive me for I know not what I do it's in the Bible I hope this helps you
Same!! I was living with satan and wasn't even aware. Thank you Jesus for setting us free!!!❤❤
My ex narc hid the coffee pot before he went out of town and wouldn't get back to me when I called and texted to ask him where it was. When I finally found out he had hidden it in the garage.
Oh wow,my covert narcissist husband has hidden so many of my things. I can't keep counting anymore 😢
They like to hide or throw things out and say we did it!
@@charlottemuller2233ex-wife used to intentionally throw lots and lots of perfectly good food out to keep from having to cook it and one day I found she had been hiding it
What a jerk wad!!!!
I had no idea this was part of narcicism it has happened to me over the years
I just wanted to say...I read the title of this video as the 14 ways a Narcissist Will TRY to Punish YOU. And I have decided to be determined that they CANNOT punish me. They have no power in all spirit and truth or flesh. I am in control of MY MIND. As you are with YOURS. Please be well and heal. It is your right to have FREE WILL.
Yes do true
He put my pepper mill under the kitchen sink. Right behind the pipes. Insane
Final punishment , delaying and stonewalling your demand of a divorce resulting in spending lots of money .
Omg, i was looking for several missing items, including my glasses SO I COULD SEE!!! He didn't want me to see.
I always knew when there was new supply, as he would fabricate a stupid argument over nothing and start the deval. 🙄
This, this covert narcissist, is such a relief to realize I think. Because for so long you are clueless but something hurts. Something hurts and you just can't seem to put your finger on it. And then you find out about this and it's so eye opening. It's a whole new world, really. And although it's still hard and knowing doesn't solve everything, it's still such a relief and gives you a place to start.
Covert - I know! With my narc ex bf, him yelling and screaming at me would have been a gift because then he would have been easily identifiable as the enemy and I could have taken appropriate action = ending things, breaking up. But he was a covert narcissist who would manipulate me through using his depression, or his fake humility, or by fake emotional support of me - all this while talking smack about me behind my back, cheating on me, breaking and abusing my possessions, lying to me, and basically doing whatever he damn well pleased and having his own little life behind my back. So no, yelling and screaming at me would have been a gift (cause when someone yells and screams at me, I y/s back at them - even louder - and then show them the door). What finally wore me down after so many years was the cognitive dissonance that just hung in the air and finally wore me down into realizing that even though I couldn't figure out what was wrong and what he was doing that I just felt so bad all the time trying to figure out something that didn't feel right, that basically just on faith I left the relationship and decided I'd figure it all out later, which I did. Not all narcissists are yellers and screamers and overtly nasty - many fly low low under the radar and can literally go undetected by everyone for years as they wreak havoc and emotional destruction.
@@L.Fontein7 I feel this. The torture. I'm so happy that you got out 🕊️🌹
I played the narcissist at his own game . When he tried to pull that hide and seek on me . I literally hid his items . I kept asking him was he ok .. Did he need to see a Doctor . That I’d make an appointment for him 🤣🤣🤣.
You're catching narc fleas.
Don't stoop to games like him, doll.
Seriously.
You're better than that, no?
Cheers.
Christi
@@chrissemenko628I don’t think it’s really narc fleas until it becomes a behavior she repeats with others. Mirroring the narc to back them down isn’t much of a narc flea when it’s something this small.
But I do know what you mean. Sometimes it’s best not to engage them, but sometimes (depending on the narc) they need to be dealt with in kind.
I learned it during my divorce that one should not be honest when dealing with a narcissist. If I had trusted him, as he requested, I would have lost everything for sure.
You go girl
It sounds like an interminable head games
Yes. The lying by ommission or manipulating words. I asked my husband if he slept with a certain woman. He said "We didn't SLEEEP" !!!
He tried to poison me and more but too much to talk about. It's horrible
Poison you with what? And how did you cop that he was doing that to you?
Had it not been for ex-mother-in-law telling me I had a guardian angel I would have thought it was all in my head. Unimaginable hard to believe. Rest her soul.
A story of punishment regarding hiding things... for two nights I couldn't sleep there was a high pitched beeping noise in the bedroom. I searched high and low for it. I eventually had to go on the couch. I was exhausted. I asked him to help me figure out what the beeping sound was. the narc hid a small beeping device behind the TV in the bedroom and confessed he put it there "to drive me crazy".
Some Narcissists sleepdeprivates their partner,to weaken them and makes them easier to control.They often starts fights late at night,to get the target upset and then wakes up the target again early in the morning... JazzyT.
Wow! Pretty ballsy for him to admit it. They usually don't take accountability for ANYTHING.
Hope you're doing well ❤
Malignant Narcissists love to hide things for sure ! Or put things in weird places ! Put jar of coffee in fridge, and then ask you. Are you losing your mind ! Who puts coffee in a fridge!! And they hide your keys !Absolutely Insane ❤ ❤ great video !
She would regularly hide my keys or wallet and then I’d find them in a place I’d looked 5 times. She hid HER keys in a backpack of mine, because I used them earlier on. She was stunned when I luckily found them in the backpack. Didn’t expect me to find them! I only realized after the relationship ended that she was gaslighting me by hiding things.
My ex did the same to me. I figured he was hiding my keys because they always showed up in places I’d already searched several times. The last time he did it, I pretended to look elsewhere and watched him hide the keys in the fridge. He was shocked that I caught him and then angry.
Crazy 🫠 My x stole my keys from my car, pretended it was others and of course he looked like a hero and said he would pay for the locksmith to get a new key 🫠 It took me a year to put this part of the puzzle together.
To hide things like that is a part of the gaslightning. JazzyT.
@@saturdayschild8535 It's just clear proof of how evil they are. Who on earth does that, without being evil? Satan's foot soldiers.
@@saturdayschild8535
Excuse me ma'am,
But, can I have this laugh?
That was perfect
Good afternoon everyone Paula and Remy always love to see him resting so peacefully 😊🤍🤍
Exactly. I showed no emotional reaction to those tactics when devaluation slowly started but it only was a challenge for him. I could see his brain working how to make me upset in a most sneaky way. I was always aware he might be narcissistic and so I left when devaluation was getting frequently disturbing my peace. I never told him that I know what he is.
Totally relate. They know when we know - then their silence is because they are scared.
You got it going on girlfriend!
Right never show too much energy.
Or never let them see you sweat it's all about energy I suggested to my nephew not to get excited when he's ready to go
Yuuuup…… sadistic pleasure it certainly is.
Mine worked in the TV industry. He loved to triangulate. In my 3 years of ‘knowing him’ then I was triangulated with some very attractive women - many of them quite well known. It actually became quite funny for me in the end and an actual show for me to watch. I told him to crack on and pursue them so he didn’t really get the reaction he was hoping for. Happy that I can look back and truly laugh now. Viva l’indifference.
Yes!! I think that you are very much in tune, you understand the crazy tea party and you have a wonderful sense of humor as you found your way up and out of the rabbit hole! I admire you, ❤you are a strong person!
37 years passed, his wife divorcing him, because of your very informative video's I now knew what I was dealing with but 2 months of texting I was Empowered and could feel the discard comming and ended contact before he could. So Grateful to you Paula.
They live their life at a mad hatter's tea party. They try to give their madness to others. They find fault with others, but never see their faults. My opinion it is a sad game of madness for an adult. At the end of the day they have hurt many people, and some how I believe they know the damage they have inflicted
I believe they very much know. Which is very sadistic because they know yet continue to choose to do it.
@user56gghtf they live for the moment it registers what they just did to or took from you. Yep that's their orgasm and your gold*#*s**wer.
I remember the dead Blank Stare in my brother's face when people were hurting. He knew people were hurting but didn't feel anything. Just a empty Blank Stare even as an adult. But they will relive the tragedy over and over in their conversations with each other
Your puppy resting is the icing on the cake.
I’ve had my car keys taken and rings that I’ve taken off have disappeared then I’ve been told I don’t deserve them.Since going no contact after 58 years of marriage both myself and my son have been threatened with the police.I’m old and I just want some peace with him out of my life. They are the most evil people.
vacay is looking good on you!
Thank you for new utube! I’m very keen on anything that’s covert narcy these days. Im no longer caring towards a being that’s chosen to entertain their demons. Healing
is adventurous. Deliverance from their shame and guilt. Been divorced 22 years from a narc and his family that alienated my two children. I was totally unaware. Yet I’m very awake and know ‘ they’ can’t touch me any longer. My choice to nail the door they
shut .. I’m free
Love your wisdom and knowledge you pass to us! Blessings
🙋♀️🙏
just go NO CONTACT the moment you even see one symptom/sign of their demonic. existence. NEVER try to talk to them about it or confront them. And more importantly, do not try to get back at them as this is what they want. Keep your light and do not turn into them. Just go no contacxt
Yes, it's natural to want revenge - some of the manipulations, plots, schemes, smears are just so evil and destructive - but No Contact and letting the universe deal with them is the best move, as tough as that may be.
Oh good it looks like you’re still on your vacation. You are such a pretty lady and Remi looks so comfortable.
OK I’m listening to your video now. I just had to comment first.
🌹🙋♀️🐕🥰
They are cruel!
I just can’t believe how precisely you describe my childhood-!
My father would pick on me relentlessly till I cried, and then yell at me for crying. I had the sequence figured out by the time I was 9 or 10…but I never understood WHY!
Dr Jay Reid has good videos about the Scapegoat child. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.
Thx, I’ll check it out!
Yes Paula, everything you said was so true. It was the most confusing relationship I've ever had. From someone who told me he loved me, and after 3 years, nothing. There was a time when I wished he would have hit me. That I would understand. 71 days free. My payback was moving to another state one day, and he never found out till after I was gone. ❤
I had every one of those punishments bar the poisoning. Maybe that was going to be next if I hadn’t left when I did
Same thing here. The covert narcissist is a deluded, walking nightmare. The law is also useless because I was just told to work things out or see a solicitor.
Its just absolutely wild how she did so many of the things you described. The pattern is so consistent its like they are all the same person.
Yes, I read somewhere that no matter what country, culture, age etc, they all follow the same formula to the extent that they become quite predictable to the target if we are paying attention.
He was forever threatening to call the police on me. He was a nut job.
Me too. And have me arrested by his FBI cousin. Oh my
Im shook at how many went over my head. How are they so sophisticated????
The devil usually doesn't show up wearing a red suit with horns and a pointy tail - he shows up dressed as Fred Astaire in a top hat and tails. 😉
My mother and brother poisoned me for 3 years until i lost my job. I would get migraines and pain in my right side and vomitting. I was too sick to try and prove it. They stole all my money. I was homeless for a year. I had my brakes cut, my car always had a flat tire. Things are not over yet. I am dependant on my mom now until i can make enough money to get out. I am so scared. Learning all of this is helping me to be careful and have courage.😢
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I am so sorry. You can dig your way out.
To hamstring you and break your legs just to watch you crawl, wow.
This is a form of domestic abuse. Can you get support?
?😊⁰p0@@camellia8625
My narc friend punished me with silence for 4 months because I didn't call her on her mom's heavenly birthday. We are no longer friends.
That cute dog doesn't have to worry about narcissists.Lucky pooch! 😁
100% on the triangulation. When I've finally had enough and say something he tells me I'm jealous. Now that I know about narcs, I'm handling it better and know it's coming (they are so predicable!) 100% on the baiting. . . . He does both because I'm a happy person and he is not. 100% on lying by withholding. . . he actually calls it "information management".
He threw my Christmas tree in the bin and ruined my beautiful garden plants. Mess with the Internet and my bolier. He stole my passport and important papers. He eventually left me for a few weeks and then came back. Thats when i left him. I had a resident set up to go to and i got rid of him for good. Thank god. You are exactly right. 💯
Great video as usual Paula
I had my female narcassist tell me she had cancer when she didn't which I believe is another form of punishment, silent treatments, which would last a night or two.
I remember sleeping on her sofa and had accepted that it was finished and it was over as she had told me this the night before and had a silent treatment that night,I packed my overnight bag to travel back to London to my home ,to be be greeted by a " good morning how are you feeling today"🤔
Total nuts,
I never knew where I stood , I treaded on eggshells !
Had triangulation with her daughters,being accused of being jealous of them!
Why they do it is absolute madness
She was at that time a 57 Yr old woman acting like a spoilt child
!!!! Crazy!!!
I know exactly what you’re saying, my narc ex husband did the same, I was subjected to the silent treatment for two months!! because I disagreed with something he wanted to do. They are babies in an adults body… throw their toys out the pram. I’ve been separated from him for seven months now, after 37 years together. I always lived in hope that things would change and he would value me, but he never did… I was just someone who was in his life, someone to control, do as you’re told or else. You lose your life to live theirs.
I can relate to all you have said!
You’re absolutely brilliant!!
Ex narc flooded my whole apartment when I was working( and of course he wasn’t working)!
He blamed our young little son!
Thank the good Lord for honest witnesses!
I appreciate your videos so so so much!
God bless you and your sweet pup!🌸🙏
I've been isolated from the family get togethers, have had reputation smeared, lied about, gaslight, verbally abused, taken for being stupid, used other family members to try & trip me up, (didn't work) I 've each & every time she acts up. I've always remained cool, calm & collected & said NOTHING each & every time. & gave no hint/ clue with any body language responses, TOTALLY NOTHING
The best revenge on a Narcissist, is to live your best life without them. JazzyT.
My sister is a highly malignant narc, and a few years ago I started my business, and it was doing well. She clearly couldn't bear it and so she started praising another family member to me, saying what an incredibly smart and talented business woman she was. I saw exactly what she was doing; so I chimed in enthusiastically and also praised this girl to the hilt and then added how I admire other entrepreneurs so much because it takes some grit and character to be able do build a business from the ground up. Her smirk was quickly replaced by a look of incredible annoyance. LOL. Once you get to know their playbook it's actually not difficult to run rings around them. Always expect the worst and never react emotionally. Never share personal information, compromise your boundaries and stay happy. Nothing annoys them more.
Love this 🌹
Getting some sun there in cloudy Ireland-looks good. The remote control thing was "thought supply". They knew you would be looking for it.
Here we may have a better weather, but I love absolutely Ireland and Colm Toibin's novels. Regards from Herzegovina!
@@michaelasun7593 Cheers, from the sunny Carolina's!
Yes 2 weeks after I discarded my friend saw him post he was in a new relationship . Keeping in mind he never once posted him and I in a relationship of 8 years . Laugh is on him she is a major downgrade a narc like him she stalked me as well . 2.5 years free . Thanks Paula .
I fully agree. Triangulation was most thing i one thing that I hate. But only realized to be used against me after 11 years in our marriage.
Additionally i experience that "Omission'
Eight years out from my release from the narc and I can actually laugh at the ridiculousness of all these behaviors - most of which I experienced (no poisoning but all the rest). The only one that still hurts is the parental alienation - don’t think I can ever laugh about that one .. or forgive.
Dr Jay Reid has good videos about the Scapegoat child. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.
Every time I watch your videos the light bulbs go off. So much so it feels like a strobe light in my mind! I spent years feeling crazy.
you are 100% correct this is exactly what narcissists do.
You are so brilliant at describing exactly what it’s all about
You are so right on! What an eye opening, heart wrenching, curse and blessing this situationship was.
Yes very true, I was experiencing the silent treatment. Only when we were in company I heard important things that I was never told. Silent treatment, just sign here on the dotted line He said. He bare faced said to me "You don't listen" with a smurk on his face. Living a life now that I've wakened up from Mr Charming.😢😢
Thank you 🙏 Paula.
Separated the wheat and the tare.
Have a safe, productive, and beautiful day!
Thank you! You too!
That's what it has really come down to. I appreciate your comment
They absolutely hide things. Agree 100%. 😢
They shame you whenever they can. Like trolls, or evil elves……why did we put up with them?
It took me a long time to realize that he was in control and loving it when I would ask for something and he would say…We’ll see and then I never got what I was asking for ever. I was really oblivious to a lot of his control and the games he played all the time!!
Not too long ago, the narc was being held accountable for something, so they had to act out. They sent me a text and asked if I had their wallet. I told them I didn't and then they asked if I was sure. Yup! A few days had passed and they were talking about getting another, with a tone that indicated they still thought I had it. I was hanging clothes in the closet and getting the empty hangers out. I saw something brown slightly peeking over the edge so I got a chair and looked. The wallet! I didn't touch it, mention it, etc. A few days later, I saw them with their wallet and asked where they found it. They said it was in a strange place in the closet. Again, I said nothing and didn't ask for details-it felt like a setup. The narc is much taller than me and that was "their side" of the closet. I've watched them put the wallet there numerous times. The whole ordeal felt downright psychotic.
God gives us discernment through the Holy Spirit when you need it. You handled that situation so well
@@user56gghtf Thank you! Usually, I would start asking questions about where they had it last because I'm always the one to find everything and answer questions. Like them looking right in the refrigerator and asking if we have butter or ridiculous things like where the wooden spoons go. Then I'd offer to help them. Or I'd immediately stand up for myself and tell them I said I didn't have it, asking again was absurd and I'm sick of these accusations being framed as questions to be used as ammunition later. I was amazed by how I could see the outcomes. If I engaged with the question they could use the argument that I was the narcissist by hiding and finding the wallet. If I mentioned I found it, same thing. If I asked them to elaborate on the weird spot and asked questions/said that's where they always put it, same thing.
It was the first time I actually realized no matter what I did, that situation could and would be used against me. So many situations were a game, created by them, that were rigged. It's sick and twisted.
@@ds6258 It is very sick and twisted. To a non manipulative person it's disturbing. You will come out if this stronger and wiser.
This is what I went through in a relationship with a toxic covert narcissist. Thank you Paula for highlighting this awful behaviour. They just hate you so much, that they have to destroy you in every way they can. They love to quietly punish you, anyway they can, trying to make you unstable....
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I had a little jackrussel called molly, she was like a hyperactive little 5 year old, my ex narcissist kicked her more then once, but the one that sticks the most is he kick her so hard around the living room INFRONT OF MY LITTLE GIRL! Well, she's 18 now. He totally Denise it now and now pretends to like animals. I had to give molly away because I was so frightened for her.
Hugh Heffners first wife in the 70's did find him having s3x with their dog,he told that dogs also has their needs,she didn't left him alone with the dog after that. His eyes was Blacknd... Dr Sam Vaknin who's diagnosed Malignant Narcissist,has a video called Narcissists And Animals Rights. Narcissists are predators,not capable of love and lacks empathy,so children and animals can be in danger around them. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.
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😊@@NarcConp9th 80kNM
I am always so shocked and relieved when watching these videos and you say something that I experienced exactly .. such as her destroying my paintings.
I can’t believe I struggle with such cognitive dissonance. I really really loved her so much, more than I ever had. And her mental illness and the things she did to me are unfathomable. Cleared my banks yes, jail, yes , cheating. Spitting at me . Etc.
Thanks again
“Shocked and relieved”! I know exactly what you mean. All this time and we still need to be told…it wasn’t us.
It was way worse than I thought man I appreciate your comments I had similar experiences of having personal things destroyed and thoughtlessly given away most likely to impress new Supply.
Now I understand why she used to quote her dad saying I ain't got a dime in it
I’m married to a covert narcissist. He was mad, so in the morning he hid my shoes, knowing that it would make me late for an important appointment. Then, in the evening he left my dog outside for over 4 hours. One of his go to punishments is treating my dog poorly. Yet otherwise, he claims to love my dog. 😢
Sorry he's abusing your pooch. I think my covert ex tried to poison my dog once by giving access to sugarless gum (it contains xylitol which is poisonous to animals it dangerously lowers their blood sugar and kills them). By the grace of God my dog survived to live many more years. Please be careful for both your dog and yourself. 🌸
My ex used my pets against me, too 😢
The hiding things! My work things and some of my daughters things were hidden and he then admitted it was to punish us for the house being too untidy. Literally watched me looking for them all day.
Thank you so much for the Life saving information because thats exactly what it is!!!! Its beyond a sickness!
Yes,the food poisening by Narcissists isn't well known,I have never read so much about it as I did here today,so it's good that it comes into light. It's known that Narcissists puts alots of control into meals,and we knows that men who are feeder's who want's overweighted women to feed's,can be toxic personalities. JazzyT.
Exactly! Truth!
Exactly...all of these things were done to me and I filed for divorce 23 years ago...to escape his abuse. Now, since the divorce he coaches and grooms our Adult kids to be JUST LIKE HIM...They do all that you mentioned. I have tried explaing to them things he would say such as "Everybody hates your mother"....letting them know that is abuse. No one can know who everyone else hates....and if that were true. Everyone he knows has evil intentions...hating is being evil minded. Yet...nothing works. I finally realized that they bait me....and trying to explain honest facts....is the same as letting them know their abuse upset me. So I finally had to no contact the entire Toxic group. Speaking with them...means I will still be abused further and it tends to get worse over time. Thank you for this great video. It's painful to know these things....yet, We own a right to set ourselves Free from abuse. We own rights to have a life of peace and joy and other people to love as well. Bless you
Great topic 🌺 They are really threatened when u dont come back for closure and you block all comms 💯 . Their ego just cannot believe u would walk away from disfunctional, immature behaviour. Also psychic attack/projection of their unprossed ego rage at the empath after you have walked away can be unbearable sometimes. Such entitlement, so immature 💯
But your free ! From toxic behavior
You look great.
Looks like both you and the dog having lovely time out ❤
Yes, thank you
I don't know if the beginning of my story was posted, but here it is......my ex-husband punished me with two weeks of "Silent Treatment", withheld any affection, told me where the door is, over and over......checked the mileage, every day, if the line was busy, when he called, insisted on knowing who I was talking to, and what we were talking about......I divorced him....he was no longer in control.....I married him at 18.....stayed for 14 years......then I chose "The Door".......best decision....my first-born said that I should never have married.......he's soooo right.....
Yup , it's good to be free from toxic behavior that's when you start living and living yourself healing
The mini discard is brutal.
It always worked on me! It was’ pulling the rug out from under me’- leaving me with the kids, often canceling cards to bank account and credit cards - even though I had all the kids to feed-
I would fawn and just want my security and ‘ normality’ and get him back home.
Evil.
He did it all.
I used to call him ‘ the punisher’ - he would ruin everything. Especially family outings and anything family since he knew that family was the most important to me.
Gross.
I scrambled and was stressed for most of our 23 years together- had never heard of narcissistic abuse and knew nothing about ASPD but learned about empathy and realized he had none.
The final discard nearly took me out and he turned one of my darling boys against me. They are all a little bit of suckers to his act and it makes me nervous. Smeared me all over and pranced around at my son’s soccer games with the infidel. There were others, I am aware of them now.
So scary.
I’m in a law suit to collect child support and spousal- please pray for me.
Scary.
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Wow, feel like I’m reading my own story! I’m sorry you had to endure all of that. We are stronger and wiser. I vet the hell out of anyone that wants to be a permanent fixture in my life…Ask the hard questions up front, call out bad behavior, and don’t take any shit. But also, I need to add that you should be extremely cautious about your plans. Get out safe. Sending light and love your way.
I appreciate you and Remy more than you could ever know! Thank you a million times❣️I just love you and himself. I really had to laugh when you mentioned that narcs “HIDE things.” I thought it was just me! They are so ridiculous. My ex and I used to travel frequently. The last time we were leaving our stateroom on a cruise, I was clearing out my toiletries. I could not find my special hair moisturizer anywhere. I am an air hostess so I KNOW how to keep my stuff together. I’m a PROFESSIONAL at it! I don’t lose things! We were rushed getting off the ship (the narc demanded to be the LAST one off the ship. Very inconsiderate because the crew needs to get ready for their next passenger. He didn’t care.🙄). I forgot about my hair product in the flurry. When we arrived home DAYS later, he said “were you looking for this?” and produced my hair product. He had it for days and hid it from me, just to mess with my head. Just so immature and ridiculous. I could really relate when you said you “lifted up the sofa” and you knew it. 🤣So ridiculous. Thanks again for all you do! Your voice calms me and you are extremely intelligent and sensitive. Remy is a happy dog. You give him a great life!❤️❤️
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They will hurt your pet or do something like leave the gate open so pet gets into road.
He left doggy in the car ... and cried in selfpitty blaming me 'if you hadnt left me doggy would still be alive'.
Narcissists are known to be terrible to animals,they are not capable of love. Dr Sam Vaknin who's diagnosed Malignant Narcissist,has a video called Narcissists And Animals Rights. JazzyT.
I was unlawfully incarcerated by my own relatives.
They also terminated my lease and smeared me to anyone they could contact.
As far as the poisoning goes, their interactions are toxic. That's how they kill people covertly with "clean hands."
Absolutely relate!!! It is shocking when you discover these things...I thought he was the love of my life!!! Sadly, it all makes sense!😢 Thank-you for helping people like me!!!❤
The way you describe the ending, the search for closure, the people she’s been sleeping with since and all the confusion is also spot on. I was just looking for clarity, as you said it’s bananas how you can go from living with someone to them blocking you on social media, having them parade around other men, even ask me for money, completely go bonkers and smear my name just because i was trying to have a conversation. This video is very insightful. I do have a habit now of watching all these videos, I am still healing
Remy is right at home ❤
Thats so true you have a breakdown with another human and the narc kicks in..than you have double meltdown.. thx you made sense out of that mess
Thank you Paula for reaching and teaching❤
After going NC with my narc sister her revenge was lethal. She had such deep rooted power and control over my mother and sisters she convinced them all to shun me while my son slowly died of cancer. Not 1 word, not 1, from any of them. I had to endure it alone for 3 years. He's been gone 2 years now, and still nothing.
They have zero empathy ❤
Sorry for your tremendous loss of your baby boy. Karma is one thing, but judgement day is a whole other matter for the likes of these serpents!
That is my hope.
I am so sorry for your loss.
You are so right they are sick not sick like honest and normal people THANK YOU 💐💐💐