As a Norwegian, I take my perspective on this from a German friend that I made while living in Moholt student village in Trondheim many years ago now. We still have some contact today. He was my neighbor and he also made friends with Germans that have lived in Norway for years. So his thought on this came from the experiences of both him and his German friends in Norway. He told me that a typical way for Norwegians (and other Scandinavians) to make friends is to keep new people a bit on a distance in the beginning. This means that you as a foreigner can talk to Norwegians but the topics are not so personal and you are not likely to be invited to their home or their parties. This is probably what many foreigners think make Norwegians a bit cold and rejective. But the thing is, you are being "tested". You can say that Norwegians don't like to invest too much social capital into people they don't know well. To be known well may take some time. My German friend say that i take around half a year before a Norwegian invites you into their home and life. When this happens you are "in". Meaning that you are approved and you may experience a close, long lasting and warm friendship with this Norwegian. So, Mon's tip about being patience is a good one. If you give up too early on a Norwegian you like, you may miss the chance of a good friendship. This may not be what students who plan to stay in Norway for only six months want ho hear though... However, you may find Norwegians that like to make friends in a faster way, it depends a lot on who you meet.
i personally disagree, i've never, nor ever met anyone who's "tested" others, not saying you're wrong, i just don't have that experience. But reading this, i asked a couple of foreign friends and they said it is harder to make Norwegian friends, but they felt like they got back as much as they gave if not more, so they recommended, being honest and open and invite the people you meet and converse with to ask questions about you. They said that it sounded strange it took your friends months to get invites into people's homes or to parties, it took them (different answers, group of 4, two dutch, one american and one swede) a few days up to 3 weeks for that. But they agreed with the nature of the relationship you described, you get a warm helpful friend for life. I don't know, i'm from Vestfold, the American and Swede i know live there, the Dutch friends i made in Rogaland, but they describe the same thing.
You know what I think is weird from my point of view. You can have a loyal big friend but you can also can have friends that you can enjoy life like having dinner and wine together in a restaurant, go to the movies and talk about the movie or whatever, talk about what is going on in the world and/or your country and of course Norway since you are living there things like that. And with your loyal big friends you talk more about your personal life but of course about all the things I said you can talk to the new friends that don't need to be tested. The only important when you make friends is that person/persons is/are easy going and nice to spend time. I really understand why it takes time to have a friend like this. To know about another ways of life, another cultures open your mind.
Your point about dugnad is really good! I've always had a hard time making new friends, but once I started doing dugnads or volunteer work with others, I started making more long term friends. Like, we Norwegians love having a reason to get together - especially if we're doing something good together. Getting to know people through voluntary labour is something completely different from getting to know your colleagues
Hmmm, I use to work in both Sweden and Norway and easely got a lot of friends. But I think there is a couple of things to realize. You walk in on the speaking English, expecting them to chat along in a language that is not theirs. Think about it if someone came up to you and bombard you with a language you learn somewhere but not really is yours...They feel insecure on how they sound or protrude doing that. That is why you need to take some time with it even if people in Scandinavia are really good in English. Then it is culture. This is people that come from smaller , hard working cultures where a " friend" is something deeper as you mentioned. Almost a family member. The value of having "friends" in a superficial way may not be very meaningful to most of them. But once you are "in". You are really in, and it is forever.
I don’t agree with second part and with the first...well Norwegians can also be cold/shy/reserved even if you do speak Norwegian and even to other Norwegians . You form groups and kind of like a high school tv show everyone just sticks to their group instead of living all together .... i guess, it’s hard to explain. I am from Portugal too and I think that we also treat friends like family and some they do become part of our family . But I think that we are just much more open to both Portuguese people we don’t know but also immigrants. (not everyone of course but most people). in Portugal I am 8575838% more likely to have a small 5 minute convo with someone I have never seen in my life. And I love that. I don’t know what it is but the further north you go the more you get people who are just more in their own life . However I know that Brazilians for example are even more open then we are and sometimes said the exact same thing I said about Norwegians.
Yes and what you say is about what the girl in the vid say. Yes Norwegians have been under Danmark rule for some 300 years, in a more or less forced union with Sweden, always smaller then the others you know. Walsed over by the Germans twice. This people are a bit sceptic to outsiders from being molded like this, that is what I think. Clannish and tribal. Did you know Hitler used a week to take Holland and one day to conquer Denmark. In Norway people with antiquated arms give Hitler headache for 3 months. And yes, they are fairly nationalistic to. How it is, take or go somewhere else I guess ? :-)
Personal opinion- Norwegians, I think have less small talk during intervals of conversation. The silent periods between conversation enable deeper thought of discussion, that can be formulated most effectively to the other. Cultures in warmer climates tend to fill silent gaps in order to show connectedness and interaction, whereas colder climate cultures rely on trust during „silent gaps“ to think deeply before sharing their thoughts with other, hence the longer time taken to become close friends with Norwegians. Just another way of looking at it....
Spot on, mate. Too much talking drive many Norwegians crazy, including this one. You know you have a good friend when both of you can sit in silence, and enjoy each others presence. Not that we dont talk, but there need to be those silent moments. And thats a form of language in its self.
(I am not talking for every Portuguese person ) We don’t force ourselves to do it... it comes naturally. We don’t lie. We ask questions because we care and because we like to be social. It’s not fake if you mean it. But hey man ( or woman) , we have our beautiful culture and you have your beautiful culture. Sånn er livet ...😁
oh my, I’m a Norwegian who moved to Oslo (for work) and I find it sooo hard to make friends, so true about the big old friendgroups...😂 Thanks for the tips!
How heartwarming is that to try to keep your childhood friends throughout your adult life ? The longer friendships last, the deeper they run. Friendships are work. It's time time and energy to talk to each other and to spend time together.
Sou brasileira e moro em Oslo. As pessoas sempre me diziam que noruegueses são “pessoas frias”, então eu tinha um pouco de medo de me sentir excluída ou uma “intrusa”. Me mudei para morar com meu namorado e a feliz surpresa é que nunca me senti tão em casa em lugar e com pessoas como me sinto em Oslo. Nossos amigos sempre em incluem nas atividades que fazem e sempre me fazem sentir parte da família. Uma das coisas mais lindas que ouvi na vida foi “seja bem vida a família”, na primeira vez que saí com meu namorado e, até então, amigos deles.
@@alessandraabruzzi sim, são. To começando a criar a minha própria rede de amigos, mas no geral meus amigos são os amigos dele. Me casei no mês passado e uma delas foi minha madrinha de casamento.
As an Exchange Student to Norway in 1967-68...I lived w a family in Haugesund, who spoke no English.. speaking English at school was not allowed as 'American' english could 'bastardize' their proper English...funny!.....became fluent within the year...studied it a bit before I traveled there...also lived in Bergen, my classmates laughed their asses off at an American speaking Haugesund dialect......Yes....learned to cross country ski...on a big snow days...school shut down and all students/teachers spent the day on skis..also skied to school sometimes...Got my bike legs there...!
Wow! Your videos are awesome! Maybe we can have coffee when I visit Oslo, hopefully next summer. My family is from the Azores & I’d love to hear you speak Norwegian & Portuguese! I know that I also like to be alone to think & process my day & love my space too!🤷♀️
the long pause thing can be different from ppl to ppl :P for me i like them cus " i live in the moment " or to just think and process stuff. and sometimes its just nice that its silent and knowing you have a friend there with you! :)
In my personal experience of making friends is this. I personally keep people as acquaintances. Family is honestly friends for me, so far because I learn of them yes!!! :)
AS a norwegian; this is fun to watch. I now live in Mexico and have to admit that I notice my norwegian querks much more now - espesially when it comes to being social. Mexicansk thinks Im weird, I think
Oi Mon Amie, tudo bem? Moro no Brasil e um vídeo seu apareceu pra mim quando buscava imagens da Noruega de drone, cliquei e gostei muito da maneira que você explica as coisas. Tenho assistido seus vídeos para praticar inglês....rs...um abraço do Brasil ! ! !
So how do you make it through tough times there when you are alone with no one you know around and hardly any friends. I am from egypt and i am planning to move to norway. For studying and working and maybe moving i feel like this country is heaven to me but this thing about being so much time with no friends makes me very confused about how am i going to survive without people ?
I'm Syrian and I'm planning on moving to Norway in 3 years. I have the same worries as you do. being surrounded by friends especially in a foreign country is really important. I can't imagine being away from my family, in a new place, and have no friends. wish you all the best menna.
Nevein Meqari hey Nevein, i wish you the best of luck too my dear. I guess that makes the two of us planning to move there so i guess will not be completely alone 🙂. Honestly i question how am i going to survive there with not enough sun nor people to hold on to and push us through the tough bad times. However, i think will its mostly the only price we ‘ll have to pay for a better life and we will somehow get better at adapting. Anyway i really wish you the best of luck ✨
I have heard this elsewhere so I don't question it. But as an American and Cuban descendant, this is veeerrryyy hard to get used to. We are accustomed to talking to people as if we have known them for a long time. And it is not unusual for people to go to the parties of strangers. And also, we are discouraged to be introverted in conversation and social situations.
Americans do a lot of small talk and smile or give compliments to people they have just met to show openess but in Europe, expecially for scandinavians people, this behaviour is perceived as pushy and overbearing. I am from Italy but even Italians dont impose themselves on strangers or instantly begins that useless chit-chat with a random strangers in the street because we want to keep to ourselves. In America small talk is seen as social duty, in Europe is not, we are not unsocial we just dont talk to strangers, we share our opinions with our real friends.
I have FB friends from Norway. We have a lot of things in common so I think that would help me if I meet them. I would be okay with the silent pauses since I also have it happen to me with friend. I ask questions when I don't understand and they help me understand. Ndx
Norwegians are for the most introverted and dont like small talk and might get annoyed if your the guy or girl that always initiate small talk(the rule dosnt apply for everybody of course there is a fair share of extroverted aswell) also many are content with theyr lifes and are busy with theyr own life/family/work. If you just engage in small talk with the purpose to try to make a new friend then most likely it will just remain small talk, if you really wanna make a new norwegian friend be direct and friendly and invite for a drink or dinner... norwegians are very curious about foreigners and theyr culture.
Hi, I'm planning travelling to Norway on my bicycle, maybe even Sweden and Scandinavia.. Is it worth learning one of those languages? Should I learn norwegian only? Must I learn Sami language? I think of not just riding my bike but I'd also like to socialise with locals
Hey, i'm a Norwegian and I agree with almost everything you said. The exception is the part about being afraid to show off your home. I'm not quite sure if you're thinking about overly decorating for an occasion that is not special like Christmas or something, which I agree with if that's the case. I.e if you invite someone over for a home cocked meal and you've gone to excessive lengths to decorate, candles and stuff would work for sure though. However if you're talking about showing off your home then i'd say it's the opposite. I've seen many places where the owner will give a tour and talk about everything he's proud of and go into a little detail, while also contemplating what he considered and what he might add in the future. This goes a far way for making conversation and more often than not the one visiting will be very interested and enjoy the conversation as he adds input, questions and praise. I love being shown a house or cottage and get a walk through like that, even more so when the home is impressive.
6:40 i mean, i bet it differs between Norwegians, but at least in my family, i'd say it's because we have a tremendous respect of personal space...because we expect the same in return, so when there's pause in small talk it's because the topics are being considered instead of just spouted and apologised for later if we overstepped or if they ask something uncomfortable in return. It depends on how close we are to the person and how much we trust to share of ourselves to them. It's the same reason you don't find people just looking you in the eye on the street, they don't really want to engage with you or take up your space....because they don't want you to take up theirs and feel like you have to engage with them. Here's a little experiment; watch Norwegians in the street, if they look at eachother, notice that they look away pretty quickly, however, watch a door or elevator somewhere, and you'll notice if 2 strangers meet eachother in the door or one holds it for the other, they feel they're so close they HAVE to engage, and will often do a nod and hurry away or say something quick and dismissive, like "thanks" or "hey" and walk. It just comes from a respect of others' time and personal space, because these same strangers CAN stop and just chat to the other and they will most likely engage back in conversation. So we're both very unapproachable and very approachable at the same time, if you break through that initial "shield" we're more than happy to chat if we have the time or inclination (meaning if you're on about something weird or too familial, we're more likely to go "eeeh ok" and walk away) Example: meet in door "oh, sorry, hey , do you happen to know the way to the nearest grocery store? maybe the closest Kiwi?" "uh sure, the closest would be down that street, but if you want the closest kiwi, that's 2 blocks north and two lefts" "ah nice, thank you so much" "ok? anything else? (with a polite smile)" "Nope all good" (polite goodbyes) Example 2: Meet in door "oh, sorry, hey, i dont think that hairstyle suits you very much, is that gel?" "eeeh ok" Walks away
To say "oh, sorry, hey, i dont think that hairstyle suits you very much, is that gel?" is impolite all over the world. To hold an elevator door to another person is a implicit rule all over the world. You don't need to have loyal friends all the time. There are kind of people that are easy going, have interesting things to talk and so on. This kind of friendship makes your "world' larger. Living like you say is having a narrowed minded.
Yeah, well for me i like to stay at home chilling, im not a very social person, i think its some sort of we are not trying to break our pattern/bubble its maby too scary ^^ every year i look forward to summer since i dont the cold winters than im even more inside :P
I’m Americana and i badly want to go to Norway and make at least one good Norwegian friend I’m so nervous about messing something up saying/ doing something wrong accedntley offending someone 😖 And I’ve heard that Norwegians are quite shy and I am to so I have no clue how that would go down how does one shy person interact with another shy person I just really like the country love to all Norwegian folk you have a beautiful country and I hope to one day see it in my lifetime 🫶🇳🇴❤
Pausing is normal for us Norwegians to give the other party you are talking to a chance to catch up. It is polite not to talk too much, just from you to the person.
You form groups and kind of like a high school tv show everyone just sticks to their group instead of living all together .... i guess, it’s hard to explain. I am from Portugal too and I think that we also treat friends like family and some they do become part of our family . But I think that we are just much more open to both Portuguese people we don’t know but also immigrants. (not everyone of course but most people). in Portugal I am 8575838% more likely to have a small 5 minute convo with someone I have never seen in my life. And I love that. I don’t know what it is but the further north you go the more you get people who are just more in their own life . However I know that Brazilians for example are even more open then we are and sometimes said the exact same thing I said about Norwegians.
No one should push on making friends of particular nationality.Nationality should not matter connection between individuals should.So making friends looking at particular nationality should not matter but the personality of an individual and connection between person should matter.
I moved out Norway in like the end of 2009 when i was 9 yo , i moved back in October this year and i have no friends and honestly found difficulty to find new friends here 😂
It's trust. Basically stranger danger was learnt the hard way, just be normal and chill and not a try hard. But once the trust is there it's endless. Seriously, oh the pause is honestly thinking what else to say so one doesn't say something ridicules like...'Oh I love you bra!' So the pause is there to think hang on...what am I doing? I can't just say that? Or something like that...to think before you speak with people that's what it is so no one's offended. Because Norwegians, me included don't like offending people because it's uncomfortable yes!!!! :)
Ahm i am glenn dompor and i live from fhilippine and i con ton go to norway and i just want to have a friend from norway how con i get some friend in norway even i am in the fhilippine.?😁😁
I really want to have some friends from Norway because I'm very keen on this country, but I live abroad. Do you know some places, where I can meet Norwegians online? I guess it can be hard...
@@daginn896 Hei! Hvorfor tror du, det jeg liker matlaging? In fact I prefer eating :) But I can make brownie. Unnskyld, jeg snakker litt norsk. Og jeg er fra sør Polen, og hvor i Norge bor du?
@@monikabua9571 Jeg tenkte det siden du var medlem av en matkanal her på youtube :) Du skriver veldig bra norsk, hvordan har du lært det? Jeg er fra Oslo!
@@MonAmieDesserts eu tenho 17 anos estou a tirar curso de turismo estou no 11º ano achas que quando acabar o curso terei alguma oportunidade de trabalhar aí na noruega no ramo do turismo? eu sei falar muitas linguas ,ingles espanhol frances alemao e estou a aprender noruegues
HI Mon I loved in Sydney Most my Life. And to be honest Australian are like that aswell. you cant make to many friends here either. Its quite a cold culture here. But in all Of what im told In from Europeans and americans they feel the some way. And they insist that in europe and US people are much more open and warming they have a more of a human culture. Yes learning the language helps alot. And understanding the way of the lifestyle. I Know its super hard to fit in and find those you connect with. Goodluck to everyone and Hold on in there things will get better oxoxoxox
You know I think wherever you go if you meet people with more education their mind is more open to meet people from other countries, that work in a different are from them and what to know your point of views about in this case Norway and/or droughts. Not to be interested in different cultures for me is being very narrow minded.
Life is waaaaay too short to spend trying to befriend someone that takes years to warm up to you ,it's ridiculous in my opinion and completelly irrelevant ,I stick to my people ,that's it and when I was in Sweden ,I never approached Swedes ,nor I wanted to bother anyone
LOL I meen you are right Mon absolutely but there's another way. Walk up to someone, bump into them then say 'Oye!' Then quickly walk away!!!! Typical Oslo walking day...of course that was a joke. The best war is the just say 'SKAL bra jeg drikker vann fra freya!' Typically speaking it's all temporal unless you're in 'love'...like fairies they are lovely Norwegian people. Again that was a joke...honestly I don't know how I got friends myself...I meen does it count that paid people who work for me are my friends too?!?! I meen...like...I liked this video Mon yes!!!! :)
Mon Amie. You are quite correct that our bonds is from our teens age friends and no "need" anymore. We do not need the shallow "chit chat" shite that yours down there call a "social life" where all your "friends" is a turn coat at any time. IF you want to really be a friend to a Norwegian you need be around for quite a time, always be positive, if asked to help, BE ON TIME! If later ANY occasions.. BE ON TIME. If not it will be regarded as "sloppiness", "careless", no ""self control". Harsh? Nope. If be on time is difficult for you, then god help the rest. Despite our country land is bigger than England we're few and only survived because of the potato and the Northern "klippfisk" (Bacalao). Untill the oil... So we could not afford loose "chit here and chat there". Almost half of us fled to the USA or other places during the mass emigration 1850 to 1930. Now still, be a "friend" is a serious thing, not "chit chat". You have to earn it. But once "inside" you are safe and have true friends in thick or thin. Be patient :)
Suggestion: react to "Sånn er Norge". They give a good insight to why Norwegians are, like they are. tv.nrk.no/serie/harald-eia-presenterer-saann-er-norge
Hi! I think you was born in the wrong country cuz you sound and look more like a Norwegian 😀😀 yes! It takes time to make friends bcoz it means something more than just knowing that person for some time. More integrity means you are there to live and not just staying.
I like the Norwegians who lived outside of Norway, in warmer countries. There are more like us. Being friends with someone doesn’t mean you have to love them and invite them for holidays and stuff. I think when people say Norwegians are cold it’s because for you it’s like level 1 - not a friend just someone you know and then boom 2- Bestfriend. Where is that guy in the middle. That isn’t there for you always but during the most important times. Am I right or wrong ? Just wanna know what you think?
Ohh and in my opinion no she wans’t born in the wrong country. If you like her for the person she is right now than great so do I but know that she would be completely different if she had Norwegian parents and was born in Norway.
The Portuguese Patriot I understand what You are saying here and of course I know that she is not born in Norway I got that. I was saying it more like a complement for trying hard to be integrated into the society and being friendly and that’s why I put some smiley faces after. I was also saying it also bcoz I am a Norwegian and have been in Portugal several times before. So it was not in a bad way either.
The Portuguese Patriot Let’s say you have 100 people in your circle of influence and then how many of those people would call friends and then who would you call best friend . For me that takes time to build in respect, mutualities, understanding, trust and so on. And yes I understand what she is trying to say in the video for other people to understand how the society works coming from outside. So then again- it takes time to build friendship.
It's really heartwarming to see all these people who want to be friends with us Norwegians. I wish I could befriend all of y'all!
We really do want to be friends with the Norwegians. I wish it was a little bit easier!
Aww
a Norwegian said y’all 👁👄👁
@@PurpleHermitcrab I hope y'all don't mind
@@user-uy1xc5xo9n I’m impressed by your dedication to learn parts of English that are not commonly used in most areas! 🤩
As a Norwegian, I take my perspective on this from a German friend that I made while living in Moholt student village in Trondheim many years ago now. We still have some contact today. He was my neighbor and he also made friends with Germans that have lived in Norway for years. So his thought on this came from the experiences of both him and his German friends in Norway.
He told me that a typical way for Norwegians (and other Scandinavians) to make friends is to keep new people a bit on a distance in the beginning. This means that you as a foreigner can talk to Norwegians but the topics are not so personal and you are not likely to be invited to their home or their parties.
This is probably what many foreigners think make Norwegians a bit cold and rejective. But the thing is, you are being "tested". You can say that Norwegians don't like to invest too much social capital into people they don't know well. To be known well may take some time. My German friend say that i take around half a year before a Norwegian invites you into their home and life. When this happens you are "in". Meaning that you are approved and you may experience a close, long lasting and warm friendship with this Norwegian.
So, Mon's tip about being patience is a good one. If you give up too early on a Norwegian you like, you may miss the chance of a good friendship.
This may not be what students who plan to stay in Norway for only six months want ho hear though... However, you may find Norwegians that like to make friends in a faster way, it depends a lot on who you meet.
I completely agree with you!
i personally disagree, i've never, nor ever met anyone who's "tested" others, not saying you're wrong, i just don't have that experience. But reading this, i asked a couple of foreign friends and they said it is harder to make Norwegian friends, but they felt like they got back as much as they gave if not more, so they recommended, being honest and open and invite the people you meet and converse with to ask questions about you. They said that it sounded strange it took your friends months to get invites into people's homes or to parties, it took them (different answers, group of 4, two dutch, one american and one swede) a few days up to 3 weeks for that. But they agreed with the nature of the relationship you described, you get a warm helpful friend for life.
I don't know, i'm from Vestfold, the American and Swede i know live there, the Dutch friends i made in Rogaland, but they describe the same thing.
You know what I think is weird from my point of view. You can have a loyal big friend but you can also can have friends that you can enjoy life like having dinner and wine together in a restaurant, go to the movies and talk about the movie or whatever, talk about what is going on in the world and/or your country and of course Norway since you are living there things like that. And with your loyal big friends you talk more about your personal life but of course about all the things I said you can talk to the new friends that don't need to be tested. The only important when you make friends is that person/persons is/are easy going and nice to spend time. I really understand why it takes time to have a friend like this. To know about another ways of life, another cultures open your mind.
Your point about dugnad is really good! I've always had a hard time making new friends, but once I started doing dugnads or volunteer work with others, I started making more long term friends. Like, we Norwegians love having a reason to get together - especially if we're doing something good together. Getting to know people through voluntary labour is something completely different from getting to know your colleagues
Hmmm, I use to work in both Sweden and Norway and easely got a lot of friends. But I think there is a couple of things to realize. You walk in on the speaking English, expecting them to chat along in a language that is not theirs. Think about it if someone came up to you and bombard you with a language you learn somewhere but not really is yours...They feel insecure on how they sound or protrude doing that. That is why you need to take some time with it even if people in Scandinavia are really good in English.
Then it is culture. This is people that come from smaller , hard working cultures where a " friend" is something deeper as you mentioned. Almost a family member. The value of having "friends" in a superficial way may not be very meaningful to most of them. But once you are "in". You are really in, and it is forever.
Well, she's Portuguese so i guess she doesn't have to think to hard about it
I don’t agree with second part and with the first...well Norwegians can also be cold/shy/reserved even if you do speak Norwegian and even to other Norwegians . You form groups and kind of like a high school tv show everyone just sticks to their group instead of living all together .... i guess, it’s hard to explain.
I am from Portugal too and I think that we also treat friends like family and some they do become part of our family .
But I think that we are just much more open to both Portuguese people we don’t know but also immigrants. (not everyone of course but most people). in Portugal I am 8575838% more likely to have a small 5 minute convo with someone I have never seen in my life. And I love that. I don’t know what it is but the further north you go the more you get people who are just more in their own life .
However I know that Brazilians for example are even more open then we are and sometimes said the exact same thing I said about Norwegians.
Yes and what you say is about what the girl in the vid say. Yes Norwegians have been under Danmark rule for some 300 years, in a more or less forced union with Sweden, always smaller then the others you know. Walsed over by the Germans twice. This people are a bit sceptic to outsiders from being molded like this, that is what I think. Clannish and tribal.
Did you know Hitler used a week to take Holland and one day to conquer Denmark. In Norway people with antiquated arms give Hitler headache for 3 months. And yes, they are fairly nationalistic to.
How it is, take or go somewhere else I guess ? :-)
Personal opinion- Norwegians, I think have less small talk during intervals of conversation.
The silent periods between conversation enable deeper thought of discussion, that can be formulated most effectively to the other.
Cultures in warmer climates tend to fill silent gaps in order to show connectedness and interaction, whereas colder climate cultures rely on trust during „silent gaps“ to think deeply before sharing their thoughts with other, hence the longer time taken to become close friends with Norwegians.
Just another way of looking at it....
Oliver Schubert Makes sense. I agree. And I maybe be biased since I am Portuguese but I would rather small talk than just not talk at all for hours.
Spot on, mate. Too much talking drive many Norwegians crazy, including this one. You know you have a good friend when both of you can sit in silence, and enjoy each others presence. Not that we dont talk, but there need to be those silent moments. And thats a form of language in its self.
We Norwegians aren't overly fond of small talk because we find mouth diarrhea superficial and fake.
(I am not talking for every Portuguese person ) We don’t force ourselves to do it... it comes naturally. We don’t lie. We ask questions because we care and because we like to be social. It’s not fake if you mean it. But hey man ( or woman) , we have our beautiful culture and you have your beautiful culture. Sånn er livet ...😁
Are you saying it as a Herr München/Frankfurt or as Herr Flensburg? :D :P
oh my, I’m a Norwegian who moved to Oslo (for work) and I find it sooo hard to make friends, so true about the big old friendgroups...😂 Thanks for the tips!
A lady who was born & moved from the north to Oslo told me exactly the same.
Totally agree with you. That tip about being informed about local things is really good. I never thought about that.
How heartwarming is that to try to keep your childhood friends throughout your adult life ? The longer friendships last, the deeper they run. Friendships are work. It's time time and energy to talk to each other and to spend time together.
Sou brasileira e moro em Oslo. As pessoas sempre me diziam que noruegueses são “pessoas frias”, então eu tinha um pouco de medo de me sentir excluída ou uma “intrusa”. Me mudei para morar com meu namorado e a feliz surpresa é que nunca me senti tão em casa em lugar e com pessoas como me sinto em Oslo. Nossos amigos sempre em incluem nas atividades que fazem e sempre me fazem sentir parte da família. Uma das coisas mais lindas que ouvi na vida foi “seja bem vida a família”, na primeira vez que saí com meu namorado e, até então, amigos deles.
Os seus amigos são os amigos do seu namorado?
@@alessandraabruzzi sim, são. To começando a criar a minha própria rede de amigos, mas no geral meus amigos são os amigos dele. Me casei no mês passado e uma delas foi minha madrinha de casamento.
Great video! Very important topic and challenge
Thank you for making extra content for us this week. It's making quarantine life more enjoyable.
I'm so glad to hear that! :)
The pause is real. Smiles and giggles works
hey mon.... sounds like u starting to get a feel for us nor-weird-ians...:)
keep up the good work....
This is really good advice for making friends everywhere, but you definitely understood norwegian culture really good.
This is superhelpful, I will try this!
As an Exchange Student to Norway in 1967-68...I lived w a family in Haugesund, who spoke no English.. speaking English at school was not allowed as 'American' english could 'bastardize' their proper English...funny!.....became fluent within the year...studied it a bit before I traveled there...also lived in Bergen, my classmates laughed their asses off at an American speaking Haugesund dialect......Yes....learned to cross country ski...on a big snow days...school shut down and all students/teachers spent the day on skis..also skied to school sometimes...Got my bike legs there...!
Step nr 1 to a good Norwegian friendship is to give personal space! After that we are outgoing as everyone else.
Dear Mon, thank you so much for all this advices. Hope you are doing well. Stay safe!
Like always very nice!
Wow! Your videos are awesome! Maybe we can have coffee when I visit Oslo, hopefully next summer. My family is from the Azores & I’d love to hear you speak Norwegian & Portuguese! I know that I also like to be alone to think & process my day & love my space too!🤷♀️
the long pause thing can be different from ppl to ppl :P for me i like them cus " i live in the moment " or to just think and process stuff. and sometimes its just nice that its silent and knowing you have a friend there with you! :)
In my personal experience of making friends is this. I personally keep people as acquaintances. Family is honestly friends for me, so far because I learn of them yes!!! :)
AS a norwegian; this is fun to watch. I now live in Mexico and have to admit that I notice my norwegian querks much more now - espesially when it comes to being social. Mexicansk thinks Im weird, I think
Excellent video. Thank you.
Oi Mon Amie, tudo bem? Moro no Brasil e um vídeo seu apareceu pra mim quando buscava imagens da Noruega de drone, cliquei e gostei muito da maneira que você explica as coisas. Tenho assistido seus vídeos para praticar inglês....rs...um abraço do Brasil ! ! !
Friendship is great. Sometimes it happens by accident which is the best.
I hope I can visit Norway.
So how do you make it through tough times there when you are alone with no one you know around and hardly any friends.
I am from egypt and i am planning to move to norway. For studying and working and maybe moving i feel like this country is heaven to me but this thing about being so much time with no friends makes me very confused about how am i going to survive without people ?
I'm Syrian and I'm planning on moving to Norway in 3 years. I have the same worries as you do. being surrounded by friends especially in a foreign country is really important. I can't imagine being away from my family, in a new place, and have no friends. wish you all the best menna.
Nevein Meqari hey Nevein,
i wish you the best of luck too my dear. I guess that makes the two of us planning to move there so i guess will not be completely alone 🙂.
Honestly i question how am i going to survive there with not enough sun nor people to hold on to and push us through the tough bad times. However, i think will its mostly the only price we ‘ll have to pay for a better life and we will somehow get better at adapting.
Anyway i really wish you the best of luck ✨
I am really attracted to your video. You have a good presentations.
I have heard this elsewhere so I don't question it. But as an American and Cuban descendant, this is veeerrryyy hard to get used to. We are accustomed to talking to people as if we have known them for a long time. And it is not unusual for people to go to the parties of strangers. And also, we are discouraged to be introverted in conversation and social situations.
Americans do a lot of small talk and smile or give compliments to people they have just met to show openess but in Europe, expecially for scandinavians people, this behaviour is perceived as pushy and overbearing. I am from Italy but even Italians dont impose themselves on strangers or instantly begins that useless chit-chat with a random strangers in the street because we want to keep to ourselves. In America small talk is seen as social duty, in Europe is not, we are not unsocial we just dont talk to strangers, we share our opinions with our real friends.
I have FB friends from Norway. We have a lot of things in common so I think that would help me if I meet them. I would be okay with the silent pauses since I also have it happen to me with friend. I ask questions when I don't understand and they help me understand.
Ndx
Norwegians are for the most introverted and dont like small talk and might get annoyed if your the guy or girl that always initiate small talk(the rule dosnt apply for everybody of course there is a fair share of extroverted aswell) also many are content with theyr lifes and are busy with theyr own life/family/work.
If you just engage in small talk with the purpose to try to make a new friend then most likely it will just remain small talk, if you really wanna make a new norwegian friend be direct and friendly and invite for a drink or dinner... norwegians are very curious about foreigners and theyr culture.
Tq im Subraa from Malaysia. God bless you
Hi, I'm planning travelling to Norway on my bicycle, maybe even Sweden and Scandinavia..
Is it worth learning one of those languages? Should I learn norwegian only? Must I learn Sami language?
I think of not just riding my bike but I'd also like to socialise with locals
Mam I like yours videos 💕 I just want to ask one question I work in Poland. Can I move to Norway ?
Yes
Hey, i'm a Norwegian and I agree with almost everything you said. The exception is the part about being afraid to show off your home. I'm not quite sure if you're thinking about overly decorating for an occasion that is not special like Christmas or something, which I agree with if that's the case. I.e if you invite someone over for a home cocked meal and you've gone to excessive lengths to decorate, candles and stuff would work for sure though. However if you're talking about showing off your home then i'd say it's the opposite. I've seen many places where the owner will give a tour and talk about everything he's proud of and go into a little detail, while also contemplating what he considered and what he might add in the future. This goes a far way for making conversation and more often than not the one visiting will be very interested and enjoy the conversation as he adds input, questions and praise. I love being shown a house or cottage and get a walk through like that, even more so when the home is impressive.
I agree with you! :) I was talking more about being too formal. Dress fancy or cook an extremely impressive meal hahah
6:40 i mean, i bet it differs between Norwegians, but at least in my family, i'd say it's because we have a tremendous respect of personal space...because we expect the same in return, so when there's pause in small talk it's because the topics are being considered instead of just spouted and apologised for later if we overstepped or if they ask something uncomfortable in return. It depends on how close we are to the person and how much we trust to share of ourselves to them. It's the same reason you don't find people just looking you in the eye on the street, they don't really want to engage with you or take up your space....because they don't want you to take up theirs and feel like you have to engage with them.
Here's a little experiment; watch Norwegians in the street, if they look at eachother, notice that they look away pretty quickly, however, watch a door or elevator somewhere, and you'll notice if 2 strangers meet eachother in the door or one holds it for the other, they feel they're so close they HAVE to engage, and will often do a nod and hurry away or say something quick and dismissive, like "thanks" or "hey" and walk.
It just comes from a respect of others' time and personal space, because these same strangers CAN stop and just chat to the other and they will most likely engage back in conversation. So we're both very unapproachable and very approachable at the same time, if you break through that initial "shield" we're more than happy to chat if we have the time or inclination (meaning if you're on about something weird or too familial, we're more likely to go "eeeh ok" and walk away)
Example: meet in door "oh, sorry, hey , do you happen to know the way to the nearest grocery store? maybe the closest Kiwi?"
"uh sure, the closest would be down that street, but if you want the closest kiwi, that's 2 blocks north and two lefts"
"ah nice, thank you so much"
"ok? anything else? (with a polite smile)"
"Nope all good"
(polite goodbyes)
Example 2: Meet in door "oh, sorry, hey, i dont think that hairstyle suits you very much, is that gel?"
"eeeh ok" Walks away
To say "oh, sorry, hey, i dont think that hairstyle suits you very much, is that gel?" is impolite all over the world. To hold an elevator door to another person is a implicit rule all over the world. You don't need to have loyal friends all the time. There are kind of people that are easy going, have interesting things to talk and so on. This kind of friendship makes your "world' larger. Living like you say is having a narrowed minded.
Yeah, well for me i like to stay at home chilling, im not a very social person, i think its some sort of we are not trying to break our pattern/bubble its maby too scary ^^ every year i look forward to summer since i dont the cold winters than im even more inside :P
"To be informed" and not be a complainer helps :-)
I really want to get a friend from that country
I’m Americana and i badly want to go to Norway and make at least one good Norwegian friend I’m so nervous about messing something up saying/ doing something wrong accedntley offending someone 😖 And I’ve heard that Norwegians are quite shy and I am to so I have no clue how that would go down how does one shy person interact with another shy person I just really like the country love to all Norwegian folk you have a beautiful country and I hope to one day see it in my lifetime 🫶🇳🇴❤
Pausing is normal for us Norwegians to give the other party you are talking to a chance to catch up. It is polite not to talk too much, just from you to the person.
Podes fazer ..um video sobre vagas ai em norway
..tem empresas que pagam bem !!
Hey...love from Kenya💓
Se uma pessoa aprender a fazer amigos em Portugal estará apto a fazer amigos em qualquer lugar do Mundo.
You form groups and kind of like a high school tv show everyone just sticks to their group instead of living all together .... i guess, it’s hard to explain.
I am from Portugal too and I think that we also treat friends like family and some they do become part of our family .
But I think that we are just much more open to both Portuguese people we don’t know but also immigrants. (not everyone of course but most people). in Portugal I am 8575838% more likely to have a small 5 minute convo with someone I have never seen in my life. And I love that. I don’t know what it is but the further north you go the more you get people who are just more in their own life .
However I know that Brazilians for example are even more open then we are and sometimes said the exact same thing I said about Norwegians.
i already have lot of acquaintances of norwegian friend. but i have none of portugal girlfriend. How do i make one? Tips please.
Yeah ur ryt norwegian is very kind
No one should push on making friends of particular nationality.Nationality should not matter connection between individuals should.So making friends looking at particular nationality should not matter but the personality of an individual and connection between person should matter.
To all the questions at the start of the video I reply: YES! 😂
Ok I'm joking, but I can relate to this... First you get close, then they disappear 😳
I can relate to that…..
Awesome video!
I moved out Norway in like the end of 2009 when i was 9 yo , i moved back in October this year and i have no friends and honestly found difficulty to find new friends here 😂
I think I made comment about this a while back with several links to resources about how to make friends, no?
I am very happy to write this message because I need to get opportunity to be a friend of Norway I need to be in Norway thank you
You’ve got quite a Norwegian accent, did you know that?😁
Definitely! Was just gonna say the same.
I've been told that a lot but I don't hear it haha xD
Mon Amie that just means you’re fully integrated😄 Gratulerer!😉
I know that her accent doesn’t sound Portuguese!
@@Lori79Butterfly Her accent does sound Portuguese, but she is good at articulating herself :)
It's trust. Basically stranger danger was learnt the hard way, just be normal and chill and not a try hard. But once the trust is there it's endless. Seriously, oh the pause is honestly thinking what else to say so one doesn't say something ridicules like...'Oh I love you bra!' So the pause is there to think hang on...what am I doing? I can't just say that? Or something like that...to think before you speak with people that's what it is so no one's offended. Because Norwegians, me included don't like offending people because it's uncomfortable yes!!!! :)
I watch your channnel from india ..
Muitooo obrigado seja bem vindo ..aqui ..!!
Ahm i am glenn dompor and i live from fhilippine and i con ton go to norway and i just want to have a friend from norway how con i get some friend in norway even i am in the fhilippine.?😁😁
I love Norway
Appears the Norwegian have a similar friendship culture like the British. We never met, we never talked!
I really want to have some friends from Norway because I'm very keen on this country, but I live abroad. Do you know some places, where I can meet Norwegians online? I guess it can be hard...
Tandem is a good app for that
Hei, Monica :) Jeg ser du liker matlaging, det gjør jeg også. Hva er din spesialitet/signaturrett? Og hvor i verden er du fra?
@@daginn896 Hei! Hvorfor tror du, det jeg liker matlaging? In fact I prefer eating :) But I can make brownie. Unnskyld, jeg snakker litt norsk. Og jeg er fra sør Polen, og hvor i Norge bor du?
@@monikabua9571 Jeg tenkte det siden du var medlem av en matkanal her på youtube :) Du skriver veldig bra norsk, hvordan har du lært det? Jeg er fra Oslo!
@@daginn896 Takk, jeg bare lærer norsk i internett. Og jeg var in Oslo ett dag med venner :) Do you want to text in some other place?
Jeg er så glad og fornøyd hvis jeg kan få en venn fra Norge. Jeg bor i Surabaya by Indonesia 🇮🇩
heyy, sou de Portugal tambem :D
Wohoo!! Olá! :)
@@MonAmieDesserts eu tenho 17 anos estou a tirar curso de turismo estou no 11º ano achas que quando acabar o curso terei alguma oportunidade de trabalhar aí na noruega no ramo do turismo? eu sei falar muitas linguas ,ingles espanhol frances alemao e estou a aprender noruegues
I would like to be friends with a Norwegian, can you help me?
I interested
God Bless you
HI Mon I loved in Sydney Most my Life. And to be honest Australian are like that aswell. you cant make to many friends here either. Its quite a cold culture here. But in all Of what im told In from Europeans and americans they feel the some way. And they insist that in europe and US people are much more open and warming they have a more of a human culture. Yes learning the language helps alot. And understanding the way of the lifestyle. I Know its super hard to fit in and find those you connect with. Goodluck to everyone and Hold on in there things will get better oxoxoxox
Hi your are Ripley mi?
You know I think wherever you go if you meet people with more education their mind is more open to meet people from other countries, that work in a different are from them and what to know your point of views about in this case Norway and/or droughts. Not to be interested in different cultures for me is being very narrow minded.
Life is waaaaay too short to spend trying to befriend someone that takes years to warm up to you ,it's ridiculous in my opinion and completelly irrelevant ,I stick to my people ,that's it and when I was in Sweden ,I never approached Swedes ,nor I wanted to bother anyone
That's fine if you have your own people but doesn't work if you you don't know anyone.
LOL I meen you are right Mon absolutely but there's another way. Walk up to someone, bump into them then say 'Oye!' Then quickly walk away!!!! Typical Oslo walking day...of course that was a joke. The best war is the just say 'SKAL bra jeg drikker vann fra freya!' Typically speaking it's all temporal unless you're in 'love'...like fairies they are lovely Norwegian people. Again that was a joke...honestly I don't know how I got friends myself...I meen does it count that paid people who work for me are my friends too?!?! I meen...like...I liked this video Mon yes!!!! :)
❤️
Hails from India 💐💐🙏
I need a friend and am Ghanaia
Mon Amie. You are quite correct that our bonds is from our teens age friends and no "need" anymore. We do not need the shallow "chit chat" shite that yours down there call a "social life" where all your "friends" is a turn coat at any time. IF you want to really be a friend to a Norwegian you need be around for quite a time, always be positive, if asked to help, BE ON TIME! If later ANY occasions.. BE ON TIME. If not it will be regarded as "sloppiness", "careless", no ""self control". Harsh? Nope. If be on time is difficult for you, then god help the rest. Despite our country land is bigger than England we're few and only survived because of the potato and the Northern "klippfisk" (Bacalao). Untill the oil... So we could not afford loose "chit here and chat there". Almost half of us fled to the USA or other places during the mass emigration 1850 to 1930. Now still, be a "friend" is a serious thing, not "chit chat". You have to earn it. But once "inside" you are safe and have true friends in thick or thin. Be patient :)
Suggestion: react to "Sånn er Norge". They give a good insight to why Norwegians are, like they are. tv.nrk.no/serie/harald-eia-presenterer-saann-er-norge
You are looking so beautiful.
Hallo
I am form Pakistan and here we make friends just by looking at them for few seconds...
I live on the Arabian lands .I want to have friends I'm 46 years old .
I want a norwegian friend akyout
Hey
I will never forget a Norwegian girl I met in the Canary Islands, with whom I had a good time, And unfortunately I lost all contact with her 😒😒😒😒😭
There is a lot of static noise on the video. :(
Yes, I'm sorry about that. My mic started doing this a few months ago. I'll need to buy a new one soon :/
Comment!
If it's that hard to get a Norwegian friend, is it possible to get a Norwegian girlfriend?
😍
Please i wish to makes a friend in Norway .i love the country and i like to visit the country . Can you give me invitation letter
My name short name nury
Hi!
I think you was born in the wrong country cuz you sound and look more like a Norwegian 😀😀 yes! It takes time to make friends bcoz it means something more than just knowing that person for some time. More integrity means you are there to live and not just staying.
I like the Norwegians who lived outside of Norway, in warmer countries. There are more like us. Being friends with someone doesn’t mean you have to love them and invite them for holidays and stuff. I think when people say Norwegians are cold it’s because for you it’s like level 1 - not a friend just someone you know and then boom 2- Bestfriend. Where is that guy in the middle. That isn’t there for you always but during the most important times. Am I right or wrong ? Just wanna know what you think?
Ohh and in my opinion no she wans’t born in the wrong country. If you like her for the person she is right now than great so do I but know that she would be completely different if she had Norwegian parents and was born in Norway.
The Portuguese Patriot I understand what You are saying here and of course I know that she is not born in Norway I got that. I was saying it more like a complement for trying hard to be integrated into the society and being friendly and that’s why I put some smiley faces after. I was also saying it also bcoz I am a Norwegian and have been in Portugal several times before. So it was not in a bad way either.
The Portuguese Patriot Let’s say you have 100 people in your circle of influence and then how many of those people would call friends and then who would you call best friend . For me that takes time to build in respect, mutualities, understanding, trust and so on. And yes I understand what she is trying to say in the video for other people to understand how the society works coming from outside. So then again- it takes time to build friendship.
@@ericsandrade Americans are just like that...In Italy
Mem so sweet
Please
Yeah... I'll probably never have Norwegian friends😅😅
Jeg har veldig få venner. 😔
I am from Pakistan.
Portugueses interessados em fazer amigos?? 🙄🤔😐
Er d sånn d er ja 😀👍🏻
I want a Norway girl friend
Norway is my best place forever and ever.
But in this life maybe i can't able to see.
I pray to jesus, please make my next birth in Norway. AMEN.....
Sry, but we are difficult;)