Just quit my “good higher ed” job due to toxic workplace and burnout, causing depression. I worked 7 days a week, traveled weekly for 8 months out of the year, and more times than not, 12-18 hr days, on salary, so never overtime. It was my dream job and it was devastating to see how it damaged me over the years. I didn’t want to leave but I knew I couldn’t stay in that position AND take care of myself. It had to be one or the other. I chose me.
@@Smarty2able I'm assuming you don't understand the pressure to over perform...most black women weren't raised to have boundaries...you did it ALL even if you felt overwhelmed. Sometimes it's best to try to understand rather than respond.
Good job! I recently went from working 6-7 days to working 3 days... currently trying to undo the stress I endured as well. YOU GOT THIS!!! KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
@@born2reign90 I'm a teacher I'm sure I don't understand lol. Even if your parents didn't teach you, that is what adulthood is for. Learning from experience not victim hood. I can sit and blame my parents or decide how I can move forward and raise my kids. I'm putting boundaries with my parents now and they're starting to respect me more but you have to be consistent. Otherwise, nobody will respect you. All of this is a narrative you're playing in your mind of how people perceive you when nobody is thinking about you when they clock out. Ask the people, "do you think of me when you leave work?" Acknowledge what went wrong and work towards being better. That's all
"We are usually EVERYBODY'S therapist" Say it again for the folks in the back! (and being the free therapist doesn't always manifest as a close friendship. We're just everyone's place to dump their "stuff")
Oh my goshhh ... This right here ! I have been the therapist and dumping ground for years and now I'm absolutely burnt out and drained. I also realised everyone had someone to turn to which was me but when it's the other way round tumbleweed. Im that exhausted mentally ive had a complete shut down I need time to recuperate.
@@Claudia-yc8xk I don't "soothe" unless I feel there's a mutual investment. No more. I can barely find a soft place to rest my own head let alone be that for everyone else
Also when black women ask for help we are often ignored or judged...I am going through this now and actually thinking about cutting off family members who refuse to help me but constantly criticize me. It's become a pattern and is toxic. I feel unheard and unloved and often that leads to is saying nothing. I also don't have health insurance. Ppl flat out ignore what we need often in the black community..
Do whatever you have to do to take care of your well - being. If you have to cut family members from your life do it! It's not easy but you have to take care of yourself. I haven't seen my family in almost five years. I'm doing so much better without them. God bless you! 🤗
Trust me it’s the best thing to do, I cut mine out years ago and I guarantee it took 10 years but it shaped them up, they learned how to actually listen and communicate better and be more emotionally intelligent, and taking me and more words more seriously. Black ppl tend to only learn by actions so move out if you need to and just stop explaining yourself.
I found this message extremely important. I only hope that all black women (as well as other women) realize that life can be so much better. Also, I never knew irritability could be a symptom of depression. Thanks for doing this story. I will say that I was saddened to see that it was only presented because of Black History Month. More attention should be given to the lives of black people throughout the year.
Y'all bring on your own depression. Y'all create situations that make y'all depressed. Y'all never take responsibility for anything. Y'all are the least married and most evicted. Accountability is like Kryptonite to y'all. It's always, "somebody else's" fault. Y'all luv playing the (victim). Y'all be worse than Karen. 😢
Thank you for saying this! A lot of people feel like they can’t relate to the lived experiences of Black people, therefore our content gets pushed to the margins or only highlighted in February. We’re all human beings but we also have different experiences in life based on how people respond to our physical appearance. Hopefully we can find ourselves with more balanced perspectives on humanity one day.
I didn't realize irritability was a symptom of depression until talking to my doc recently. I hope more black women start seeking treatment. It absolutely helps to talk to a qualified professional and it shouldn't be frowned upon (as it often is in the black community unfortunately).
@@AngelicaAngel888_for sure!!! And it shouldn't have been frowned upon and judged for all the decades we were going through it either, by y'all 🙄 No offense, and i'm glad you're FINALLY getting the help y'all need ... But we're just going to act like we never knew that a HUUUUUGE symptom of depression is irritability until black women finally started seeking treatment for your mental health issues? i'm sorry but as someone who has struggled without ANY support from anyone: especially my black friends, this just feels like a huge slap in the face. But again, at least you're raising Awareness!!! At least people listen to y'all when you speak... You've been actively piling on the demonization of us for so long now, we never actually got the help we've been needing since before our men even discovered your Existence. i Pray y'all don't have to suffer the same abuse and discrimination within the mental healthcare system that we've been having to endure for Ages now.
I started going to therapy when I was 19 because I was struggling so much. My mom makes it known that she does not approve so I never talk to her about it. I’m glad I made this decision for myself because I crave healing and to be a better person. I don’t want to be angry all the time I just want peace in my life.
Grace, I am so glad to hear that you are going to therapy and doing what's best for you! As for your Mom, maybe consider engaging in a REAL conversation with her or writing her a letter expressing how you feel. I have found most Moms don't have a clue how their children really feel. Oftentimes, heated arguments happen and some things pop up in the heat of the moment but most mothers (old me) are accustomed to blaming it on the incident. When being able to communicate authentically in a calm space or through a heartfelt letter, Mom's can receive it a little better. If not, extend her grace and mercy and keep working on you to learn how best to navigate the relationship based on your new realities about yourself. I will be praying for you and your Mom
Listen people, I am a dark skinned Black woman n I have held LOTS in for years and any second now as I have reached my 40's I break down into tears at any given moment. It's not worth holding in, even though that's all we know. Keep going but talk to someone it may save your life, most importantly God. 🙏 ❤
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a hard time, and have been through so much over the years. The beautiful thing is, even with all you’re dealing with, you know now, and you’ve got time to go in and excavate and heal and regrow; the pain of lost/wasted/misused time is real but as long as you’ve got life, you’ve got power, and potential. You’re not going to be stuck there forever!! Find a good therapist, work through the steps, pursue calming hobbies, and don’t forget to love on yourself along the way. I don’t know you but I believe in you. Don’t give up ❤❤
The discussions about mental health for Black Women are so important. Period!!! I'm so very grateful that I called the Suicide Prevention Hotline in 2019 due to the stress of living with my then 89 year-old father whom I was a caregiver for. I moved out of my father's house in June, 2022. I've been in therapy since that time and I'm doing some emotional and mental unpacking due to childhood PTSD and abuse due to my father. My mother died seven years ago and I didn't have time to grieve her passing. By being on my own, I have had time to appreciate her love and her legacy!!!
@HenriettaHudson I'm glad that you are still here and that you are doing better. Just know that you are not alone in the struggle. It's seemingly hereditary in my family line. 😔
As a Black woman and therapist...I .can't stress how amazing this is to see. Especially my generation acknowledging the significance and being willing to do the work! Makes my heart smile💕💕
Yup, and the stereotype of us being the angry, aggressive archetypes with attitude are all subconscious coping mechanisms with all the burdens and struggles we often have to go through in this society. I've seen these manifestations of irritability and anxiety in myself, and it's a result of all of the negativity that's put on us. Having always to be the fulcrum for everyone else, but no one is ever there to be the fulcrum for us except ourselves. That's why many Black women we're so Spiritual because we turn to GOD as our safeguard, all we have. Glad these issues are now being addressed more often, it's needed, Black Women we Matter. It's Healing 🙏❤💞💕
Dr. Antoinette “Bonnie” Candia-Bailey has been heavy on my heart. Dr. Bonnie as we affectionately called her was such a beautiful soul of love and light. We lost her to workplace bullying and lack of support for her mental health requests. It’s a devastating wake up call. May she rest in peace 🙏🏾
It was really a tragic story. It triggered me because of my own workplace bullying story where I assaulted and ridiculed. HR or management would not do anything. I became severely depressed, anxious and suicidal. I quit without notice before executing my plan. As a result, I lost my apartment and no one wants me around or in their home because I'm not a "strong black woman." My mental health struggles are ongoing. Hoping this year gets better for me.
My sister the situation hasn’t been loud enough because it’s still happening. Just recently in Maryland they forced a female superintendent out of her position
My earliest memory of me being depressed I was about 4 years old..my parents had a terrible relationship! I wasn’t being cared for emotionally speaking…we are not to cry about anything!!!! It can be horrible living like that!
I suffered with depression for 2 years without even knowing it. I didn’t open my curtains for 2 years and my home was a dark chaotic organized mess. I’m the type that is always upbeat, show up for others, etc. Then I started distancing myself for ppl. Then it just dawn on me, omg my home is the reflection of how I feel inside. I didn’t tell a soul, and when I tried, I wasn’t heard, so I continue to stay silent about it.
What she said about suppressing emotions, that actually can contribute to fibroids. It’s something I’m actively working to overcome and I’m glad that this conversation is happening publicly on big platforms. I have been having these convos out loud despite being called dramatic and emotional lol because we need to talk about this more!
I’m at my lowest mentally right now and I was still able to get someone out of their depression.. I just wish I had that person for me .. therapy is expensive and should be covered with insurance
This is exactly how I feel and what I need. I've been there for so many people and helped them out of darkest places. Now that I'm depressed and suicidal nobody is there for me. These same people call me lazy and some even calling me crazy. It's frustrating and exhausting.
BW, in particular, have generally not been allowed to have strong boundaries. Society has had the expectation that BW will be available to all others, whenever and however they require. Thankfully, BW are pushing back against that-- setting very strong boundaries and letting those who haven't received the memo know it up front and without hesitation. After self love and acceptance, setting and holding boundaries is key in achieving the peace that ALL people deserve to live with.
@@sparklesp9304 Yep. My comment wasnt meant to be inclusive of every detail of the pathology that has led us to where we are today. Hopefully, young Black girls and women can be shown the importance of boundaries- by those who love them enough to do so.
I first want to take a moment to acknowledge the talent and beauty of Deborah Roberts.❤ This was an excellent segment that raised very real concerns about that “strong black woman” burden. We have been the mules of the world for far too long. I want to add that a lack of motivation to do even basic tasks is a major sign of depression as well. It is often misconstrued as laziness, but it’s not.
Yes that is so true about it being referred to as laziness! In the deep south where I'm from, many black people that suffered with mental health problems were said to be either "lazy or crazy ". There was no in between! Some of my relatives were placed in institutions all their lives because they were labeled as being crazy. So they never got the mental help they really needed. So sad!
Tbh that’s exactly how I feel currently. I don’t want to do anything. Especially work, being a mom to my son, cook or run errands. I have no energy or motivation at all. I’m going to start going back to therapy next week. 👌🏽
@@tinyking11 please check about short term disability from your job. You owe it to yourself to take a mental break and they will pay you for it. You need rest! I hope the therapy goes well for you and that you heal🤍
@@Jamesgalc-gs8wureally?? Who said anything about twerking? Prayer is important, but just like when you get a cancer diagnosis, you pray, and still see your oncologist, the same applies to mental health.
@iieshacarter hey I was making a commentary about how our culture has put a focus on egregious sexual behavior as the solution to metal health. For reference see hot girl summer. I actually see it as a large factor in why so many black women are stressed now. Losing spiritual warfare by relying on crystals, horoscopes and other bull and you know I'm right.
This advice can add to the depression because it places a burden on someone when they are already struggling and it also implies that the person hasn't already prayed. So sorry that this kind of insensitivity is still viewed as a solution.
This is making me emotional. I come from a family of women steeped in mental health issues. I begged my mother to do therapy with me since I was a teen in high school and it was strongly rejected. My mental health issues were also downplayed and dismissed. Seeing this woman and her mother makes me happy but sad at the same time because its what I deeply longed for in my own life. I may not be able to have this with my mom but I am going to be sure my daughters have it with me. I am already explaining emotional health to my young children and having open conversations and the impact has been beautiful to watch. ❤
I am so glad to hear that you are breaking the generational barrier that has kept women in our community from being FREE! And never say never with your situation with your Mom, there is always an opportunity for growth and healing.
I can also relate to much of what you said. My mom to this day refuses therapy. As for me, I have seen great personal success in going to therapy for diagnosed mental health issues.
Black women push through, work hard, sacrifice, and give to everyone. We deny self to show up for everyone. I learned to say no and say it is okay to not be available all the time.
No one talks about how expensive therapy is though. I've been trying to find an 'in-network' therapist and I'm getting no call backs after leaving messages. I'm trying to get diagnosed too.
I encountered the same, and just to warn you, some therapists are toxic too! Some just want to take your money and some need help themselves! My advice is to start looking at your childhood and began to pinpoint what was unhealthy there.
@@trish4540A person would need to be self aware to even begin to do work on themselves. Most people are not self aware if they are stuck in their trauma cycles. The mother in this video admitted herself that she didn’t think she had a problem. Like everything else in life, choosing the right therapist for you requires time and vetting. There is an abundance of information online that teaches people the red flags of a bad therapist so that people can be more informed. Telling people to work on themselves without guidance is harmful and doesn’t help those who are struggling alone. Your suggestion reinforces the negative patterns this video addresses. How can one leave the room (depression) when they cannot see the door?
@mariejae, There are churches that have low cost mental health if not free counseling as well. If you are more comfortable with a church using licensed clinical therapist I believe you may able to find one.
I have been crying and ruminating so much that it is hard to control. This past year was so traumatic for me and I never knew how much I carried for other people. I cannot be everything for everybody. The stress was beginning to effect my health.
You may have CPTSD. I suggest getting a mental evaluation or look up a TH-cam video on the signs of it. It’s ok, you’re ok. Locus self control. You can only control your thoughts, feelings what you do and say no one else. Listen to your gut.
The anxiety, depression, and ruminating (24/7) is so bad. I am currently seeing a great therapist but the therapist is super booked all the time. So I see them once a month. I do pray for better days and hope the same for you all on this journey.
SO SO SO GLAD that this is being talked about in our community. Ive often been open (not always voluntarily) with my mental health struggles, and my family oftentimes outcasted me for it or looked at me as weak. It's different when you're naturally empathic too or sensitive in a harsh world like this and can't even be upfront or emotionally supported by the people who are supposed to have your back. Too many people being lost, feeling that they have to suffer in silence and that the world doesn't NEED their voice and their truth to be heard. Please, if you deal with mental health issues, depression EVEN some kind of mental illness- find a community that understands because trust me they are out there. Maybe not as close as you'd like, but honey, someone is going through the same pain as you. trust and believe that
You are much stronger than anyone who perceives you as weak, as it takes strength and courage to recognize and work on mental health wellness. Unfortunately, our heritage has taught us that crying and revealing our emotions is a sign of weakness. This behavior has been taught throughout generations and we as a community must engage more in conversations to deprogram ourselves from repeating.
Entering menopause has been a gift for me for one reason: it has forced me to be vocal regarding mental health. I have gone to therapy throughout most of my adulthood. I stopped pretending to have everything so pull together went inside. I was just falling apart. Most people in our lives, expect for us to be the strong, black woman, including our white counterparts. One of my good friends referred to me as that a couple of years ago and I just said I’m not that strong. God is my strength. One thing I would love to see is more of us going into the mental health profession, because out of all my years in therapy, I have only had one black psychologist. Some things I did not have to explain because of shared cultural experience.
I am so happy to see this air. Unfortunately. I lost my manager to cancer the day after Christmas. I’ve never considered therapy but I will start my first session the end of this month, I’m actually excited about this new journey ❤❣️❣️❣️
As a WOC retired psychiatric caseworker this is so important. Ladies remember this Mind, Body & Spirit. For many it is also releasing generational trauma. We often carry the pain of others and take on our nuturing roles when we need to step back and nourish ourselves. The flip side of anger can also be depression. Again covering underlying issues and needs we have ignored or buried deep.
I was raised to suck it up even if it hurts,pull yourself up and never ask for help.Your basically on your own kid even as a young person,that was the message.And there was alot put on me to show that I was never good enough.
This is VERY important. It's not just beneficial for us to find a good therapist but to find one who can relate to *our* struggles. A few years ago, I'd had a women therapist. When I discussed racism, she acted surprised. "WHAAAAT!? In this day and age!?" She then told me of how she went to church with her Black friend and all the Black folks were so kind to her. Listen...lol, I found me a wonderful Black therapist and... *chef's kiss* She understood and could relate to a lot of the b.s. I had/have to deal with, we've read some of the same Black history and sociology books... If you're Black, I recommend finding a good Black therapist.
I shared this video with my Mom hoping that if it’s “on TV” she might lean in. Let’s hope it works!!! Shout out to whoever produced this piece. It was needed.
Wow! This is right on time!! I am currently going through the process to become a professional counselor and the struggle to maintain my own mental health in toxic environments is challenging but I’m going to keep going until I can help our people!
More important than our clothes, hair & nails (the outer trappings of being well) ... is caring for our psyches (mental well-being). 🕯Sandra Bland & Antionette Candia-Bailey
Great discussion👏🏽 Wish my Mother was still here and that we could have gone to therapy together to allow her to talk about her lifelong pains & struggles….glad other black women are starting to be kind to themselves and one another regarding our struggles in life🙏🏾
Lalisha, aw hon God Bless Tu Mama . it is now that i realized how much worse it would have been for ladies in the past and it was so silent. The fact that someone's vulnerability is often time used against that person makes it difficult for people to open up.
I'm a certified Birth and Postpartum Doula who focuses on mental health for my clients. As someone with a history of depression and anxiety I can say that this is so very important! We have to prioritize our mental health. Never be ashamed. I'm in therapy once a month and my life has changed tremendously!
For those who believe this is a divisive tactic, I offer you this. This segment was likely highlighted because it is black history month, the second reason also likely is because black children are often either under or over diagnosed for various mental health challenges. They are also living with the highest rates of ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) which are directly linked to job security, health outcomes, propensity for criminality, teen pregnancies and so much more. Last thing to leave you with is that over 60% of black children do not live in a household with both of their parents- another stark statistic that makes depression AND the lack of access and resources to manage that depression a large conversation particularly during black history month. While this focuses on black women, they were once children and more likely to be the primary caregiver for today’s children, I can see why starting there was the choice.
💯They wouldn’t understand because they think black and brown women are supposed to put on this happy face and appear “strong” I no longer care about offending others.
I am so happy these conversations are happening more and more but we can do better. Mental health affects everyone and manifests in so many ways, share these conversations at home, in school at work and anywhere humans interact.
Can we stop referring to black women as women of color? There is a difference between being a black woman and a woman of color. It’s a difference in how we are treated compared to women that are white adjacent. We do not have equal struggles in the workplace or when it comes to dealing with mental health. It’s a reason why you kept referencing being a “strong black woman.”
@seizuregirlllll because you wouldn't, racism does not have to be blainted calling someone the n word, and honestly saying yall are nuts for knowing the forms proves my statements. This article/ segment is bringing awareness to black depression amd considering the systematic racism in Healthcare and education... well I'm not going to waste any of my breath trying to explain because your ignorance will just allow you to ignore and continue to live in the ignorant blissful bubble of your life
@seizuregirlllll I see my last comment didn't register but your comment proved my and saying yall are nuts well thats hidden racism. But I'll let you have your ignorant blissful life you think "we" have and ignoring awareness of systematic racism which is essentially what this segment was about. But ok
@@seizuregirlllll idk if you notice but it’s black history. So naturally there will be topics that petain to black folks, especially black women. This topic is something that MANY of us deal with and it’s necessary to have discussions like this. Grow up and stop being pissy you’re not the topic of discussion
Why are you being so defensive. Like they are just highlighting issues specific to bw without minimizing those of other races. What is wrong with you?, now you literally wanna fight 😂. YOU are the problem we bw talk about. It’s like a man jumping onto a post about women’s issues and saying “well men have issues too, why are you leaving us out?” Wouldn’t that be crazy if a man actually said this? You is acting crazy right now, chill
@@trish4540 depression isn’t just defined to black people it’s all people but you seem to get offended when someone points out segregation. I can be and act whatever way I want I don’t need to validate that to some stranger.
I’m so glad to hear this. Because Black Women are not allowed to be sad down depressed. We are supposed to keep it in be strong but me my cousins have along with our aunts have been breaking this down. I’m so glad we’re learning
@@sparklesp9304 what culture? America? And that's a lie we make in our minds and our parents made us believe. I'm setting boundaries with my parents now and it works full proof. Was there push back yes? But it did work it just takes consistency and time.
I love this segment because as a mixed and Black woman, I dealt with history of depression and a period of suicidal thoughts because of situations in my life. However, I am so joyful that I am seeing a counselor to address my issues and trying to address the root of my problems. As a Black community, woman should address their traumas and the root of their issues to be addressed so they can be healed from the inner so joy can reflect on the outside. ❤100 💯
I still struggle with my mental health and it's sad to see that not having a support system from your family is such a common issue amongst black women including myself. I had to cut everyone off. Hope my fellow black sisters can heal themselves for their own good ❤
Thank you, GMA, for this segment. I knew I wasn’t that stereotypical strong Black woman and therapy helped me figure out the best coping mechanisms going forward.
I’m so glad light is being shed on this. I grew up hearing “black people don’t get depressed” plus serving in the military. Let just say it hard to keep my mask in tact 😔Thank you for making this news🥹👑❤
Nothing worse when you're feeling down or depressed and just don't have the energy to talk, and Family or Coworkers assume you have a "Attitude", (especially for those of us who are normally chipper) not considering that you may be down or Mentally spent. 😢 When I was in a Teenager or in my 20's, I really wore a Mask of a fake smile. But not anymore. Without being rude, I make it known "Excuse me, but today I don't feel like faking it".
This was what I needed to hear. I know my mom has a lot of hurt in her life, from being dark-skinned, a single mother... and that insecurity and self-hatred was passed on to me. I would love to do therapy with my mom as we never talk about our inner most feelings, but I am scared of what she would say and think. I don't know... but I guess trying to broach the subject won't really hurt. 🧡
Please keep this conversation going and continue to amplify it! I’m so happy the older generation of black women are starting to open up and get the help they need.
2:18 She’s so right. Depression is not just sadness irritability and anger can be symptoms as well. Therefore, the aggressive black woman stereotype is really just a bunch of people experiencing a unique form of oppression, extremely frustrated and pressured with all the disrespect. I guess, it’s much easier to blame and get pissy about people’s reactions than to stop the behaviour causing harm and death. 🫤
equity isn't equality ....parents sometimes feel like being there, being available is equity but it isnt...giving a child what they specifically need is equity..
I mean we have black therapist telling us to suppress our feelings. It is alarming how many bad therapist are practicing right now. It a lot of talking but the world still doesn’t acknowledge black women emotion and depression. It is actually sad.
This was amazing!!! Therapy was the best decision of my life it saved my life 😢 I’m so thankful! Going thru a really hard time at work and this appeared. Amazing interview Deborah! ❤❤❤
This segment featuring my own mother and sister discussing black women and depression leaves me with a profound sense of disillusionment. Their intentions may seem noble, but the irony isn't lost on me. The same family dynamics that contributed to my own profound depression are now under a spotlight, with those involved portraying themselves as advocates for mental health. It's peculiar, almost laughable, how the cycle of seeking validation unfolds. Five and a half years ago, I made the extremely difficult decision to distance myself from this very toxicity. The peace I've since found speaks volumes to the necessity of that choice. In 2022, I expressed to my mother what I needed from her to move towards reconciliation on terms that honored mutual respect and understanding, only to be met with silence. It now makes sense that the pursuit of public adoration has overshadowed the genuine work of healing and personal accountability. As someone who has lived through the pain, hurt, and betrayal that can tear families apart, I can say with certainty that the decision to step away is never made lightly. It's a painstaking choice aimed at preserving one's mental and emotional well-being. To anyone else experiencing this pain from your "family", know that you're not alone. There is indeed life and light on the other side of such a difficult decision to estrange. While my family seeks applause, I've found solace in true authenticity and inner peace. It's clear now more than ever that our paths diverge significantly, and I am at peace with that. To those who resonate with this message, remember, it's okay to choose yourself, even with family, It's okay to cut out what harms you. Here's to finding and fostering your own well-being, away from the shadows of pretense.⭐
😮 oh wow, goes to show there are more sides to a story! I’m sure it’s painful to see your mother and sister on a program like this when there is actually a lot of accountability that was missed regarding you. It seems pretty selfish and self serving. I pray for your healing!! ❤️🩹
This is the story of many of us black women and men. Our parents were raised to suck it up and keep going and thus we were invalidated and taught the same thing. That did not work for me growing up. I went to therapy for the first time over 12 years ago when I moved away for college and it saved my *life.*
I think the sad thing is in our own families as black women we feel like we have to be independent because of not having anyone we can be vulnerable with! I think we as black women are evolving with these conversations to be better for the next generation
Unfortunately these two women aren’t telling the whole story. The other daughter made a comment here. Apparently there have been no efforts made and there is no accountability. She said they are attention seekers. So sad.
Being a non-white passing black woman makes navigating the world exponentially more difficult. Add the expectations people feel youre supposed to endure while your lighter counterparts get nurtured, coddled, protected and given the freedom to be as emotional as they choose… Whew! I’m glad this conversation is being had, and that my sisters are focused on healing! Praying for safety and peace-of-mind for all of us ❤
Why can't you just say black woman? What is a non white passing black woman? How can you claim to care about black women but then make black women a sub category within their own category? Absolute madness.
@@jesusisapiscesbecause non white passing ppl are a thing but yet claim to be black when they feel like it which they shouldn't if they don't have the full black woman experience.
@@jinx526 I don't understand how someone can be stupid and arrogant simultaneously. I am well versed on what colourism is, which is why I called that woman out for reducing black women to non white passing black women as if racially ambiguous women are the default. All I needed from a simpleton like you, was for you to say that you didn't comprehend my post. That would have sufficed. Nkiti.
See the caption and clicked! I work in corporate and it’s a toxic work environment because instead of sucking it up, I speak up. And I will continue to speak up and advocate for myself!!!
As a man, particularly a biracial black man, I felt this. There are days I get triggered and realized my mental health is struggling to stay stable because of my family, friends, life, etc… and I’m 28
This is absolutely such an important message and a great reminder for many people who don’t often get to have these conversations in their own personal relationships. Thank you!
They apparently aren’t being truthful. The sister commented here and said they are attention seekers. She is dealing with this on her own, this show hurt her more.
It's hard for Black children to see their White and Asian friends' parents all cheering them on at their plays, sports games, award ceremonies and for us to have no family presence there. It also makes the kid look like they have no support and stigmatizes them in their communities and can impact the way they are treated by coaches, teachers, other adults, etc.
I have to say. The ability to get and the availability of therapy is not what it was when I grew up. I saw first hand what happens when my brother needed mental health care as adult. He was drugged and out into a halfway house. He was not offered anything other than that. I am so glad things are not the same today.
I deal with depression as a result of my childhood trauma. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder as a result of the abuse I have endured from my parents. I need to get back into therapy.
I subconsciously knew I needed therapy when I was little. Had the courage at 15 to talk to my mom about it and she said no. I suffered for several years until 2021. Put myself into therapy and also taking medication and im glad. Wellness isnt just about the clothes on your back, the food you eat and roof over your head. Its also about checking in and getting help with whats going in your mind.
Just quit my “good higher ed” job due to toxic workplace and burnout, causing depression. I worked 7 days a week, traveled weekly for 8 months out of the year, and more times than not, 12-18 hr days, on salary, so never overtime. It was my dream job and it was devastating to see how it damaged me over the years. I didn’t want to leave but I knew I couldn’t stay in that position AND take care of myself. It had to be one or the other. I chose me.
I doubt it's because of jobs. It's a lack of boundaries. Did you ask about requirements before taking the job?
@@Smarty2able I'm assuming you don't understand the pressure to over perform...most black women weren't raised to have boundaries...you did it ALL even if you felt overwhelmed.
Sometimes it's best to try to understand rather than respond.
Good job! I recently went from working 6-7 days to working 3 days... currently trying to undo the stress I endured as well. YOU GOT THIS!!! KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
@@Smarty2ableThat’s rude ! These jobs will suck the life out you. They don’t care and take advantage
@@born2reign90 I'm a teacher I'm sure I don't understand lol. Even if your parents didn't teach you, that is what adulthood is for. Learning from experience not victim hood. I can sit and blame my parents or decide how I can move forward and raise my kids. I'm putting boundaries with my parents now and they're starting to respect me more but you have to be consistent. Otherwise, nobody will respect you. All of this is a narrative you're playing in your mind of how people perceive you when nobody is thinking about you when they clock out. Ask the people, "do you think of me when you leave work?" Acknowledge what went wrong and work towards being better. That's all
"We are usually EVERYBODY'S therapist" Say it again for the folks in the back! (and being the free therapist doesn't always manifest as a close friendship. We're just everyone's place to dump their "stuff")
Oh my goshhh ... This right here ! I have been the therapist and dumping ground for years and now I'm absolutely burnt out and drained. I also realised everyone had someone to turn to which was me but when it's the other way round tumbleweed. Im that exhausted mentally ive had a complete shut down I need time to recuperate.
That's why I keep my ringer on silent, even on my off days from work! #TakeCareLadies #NoReallyTakeCARE 🙏
The issue is that we don't know enough about therapy to even do this well.
@@clove8763 Amen
@@Claudia-yc8xk I don't "soothe" unless I feel there's a mutual investment. No more. I can barely find a soft place to rest my own head let alone be that for everyone else
Also when black women ask for help we are often ignored or judged...I am going through this now and actually thinking about cutting off family members who refuse to help me but constantly criticize me. It's become a pattern and is toxic. I feel unheard and unloved and often that leads to is saying nothing. I also don't have health insurance. Ppl flat out ignore what we need often in the black community..
Do whatever you have to do to take care of your well - being. If you have to cut family members from your life do it! It's not easy but you have to take care of yourself. I haven't seen my family in almost five years. I'm doing so much better without them. God bless you! 🤗
Our needs are ignored EVERYWHERE. It’s so sad. 😢
Why do black women face different symptoms of depression(irritability) compared to eg. white people?
Trust me it’s the best thing to do, I cut mine out years ago and I guarantee it took 10 years but it shaped them up, they learned how to actually listen and communicate better and be more emotionally intelligent, and taking me and more words more seriously. Black ppl tend to only learn by actions so move out if you need to and just stop explaining yourself.
Bingo!
I found this message extremely important. I only hope that all black women (as well as other women) realize that life can be so much better. Also, I never knew irritability could be a symptom of depression. Thanks for doing this story.
I will say that I was saddened to see that it was only presented because of Black History Month. More attention should be given to the lives of black people throughout the year.
Y'all bring on your own depression. Y'all create situations that make y'all depressed. Y'all never take responsibility for anything. Y'all are the least married and most evicted. Accountability is like Kryptonite to y'all. It's always, "somebody else's" fault. Y'all luv playing the (victim). Y'all be worse than Karen. 😢
The flip side of anger is often depression also. Your body, your spirit is telling you something is missing. Something is unbalanced.
Thank you for saying this! A lot of people feel like they can’t relate to the lived experiences of Black people, therefore our content gets pushed to the margins or only highlighted in February. We’re all human beings but we also have different experiences in life based on how people respond to our physical appearance. Hopefully we can find ourselves with more balanced perspectives on humanity one day.
I didn't realize irritability was a symptom of depression until talking to my doc recently. I hope more black women start seeking treatment. It absolutely helps to talk to a qualified professional and it shouldn't be frowned upon (as it often is in the black community unfortunately).
@@AngelicaAngel888_for sure!!! And it shouldn't have been frowned upon and judged for all the decades we were going through it either, by y'all 🙄
No offense, and i'm glad you're FINALLY getting the help y'all need ...
But we're just going to act like we never knew that a HUUUUUGE symptom of depression is irritability until black women finally started seeking treatment for your mental health issues?
i'm sorry but as someone who has struggled without ANY support from anyone: especially my black friends, this just feels like a huge slap in the face.
But again, at least you're raising Awareness!!!
At least people listen to y'all when you speak...
You've been actively piling on the demonization of us for so long now, we never actually got the help we've been needing since before our men even discovered your Existence.
i Pray y'all don't have to suffer the same abuse and discrimination within the mental healthcare system that we've been having to endure for Ages now.
I started going to therapy when I was 19 because I was struggling so much. My mom makes it known that she does not approve so I never talk to her about it. I’m glad I made this decision for myself because I crave healing and to be a better person. I don’t want to be angry all the time I just want peace in my life.
Grace, I am so glad to hear that you are going to therapy and doing what's best for you! As for your Mom, maybe consider engaging in a REAL conversation with her or writing her a letter expressing how you feel. I have found most Moms don't have a clue how their children really feel. Oftentimes, heated arguments happen and some things pop up in the heat of the moment but most mothers (old me) are accustomed to blaming it on the incident. When being able to communicate authentically in a calm space or through a heartfelt letter, Mom's can receive it a little better. If not, extend her grace and mercy and keep working on you to learn how best to navigate the relationship based on your new realities about yourself. I will be praying for you and your Mom
Listen people, I am a dark skinned Black woman n I have held LOTS in for years and any second now as I have reached my 40's I break down into tears at any given moment. It's not worth holding in, even though that's all we know. Keep going but talk to someone it may save your life, most importantly God. 🙏 ❤
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a hard time, and have been through so much over the years. The beautiful thing is, even with all you’re dealing with, you know now, and you’ve got time to go in and excavate and heal and regrow; the pain of lost/wasted/misused time is real but as long as you’ve got life, you’ve got power, and potential. You’re not going to be stuck there forever!! Find a good therapist, work through the steps, pursue calming hobbies, and don’t forget to love on yourself along the way. I don’t know you but I believe in you. Don’t give up ❤❤
The discussions about mental health for Black Women are so important. Period!!! I'm so very grateful that I called the Suicide Prevention Hotline in 2019 due to the stress of living with my then 89 year-old father whom I was a caregiver for. I moved out of my father's house in June, 2022. I've been in therapy since that time and I'm doing some emotional and mental unpacking due to childhood PTSD and abuse due to my father. My mother died seven years ago and I didn't have time to grieve her passing. By being on my own, I have had time to appreciate her love and her legacy!!!
@HenriettaHudson I'm glad that you are still here and that you are doing better. Just know that you are not alone in the struggle. It's seemingly hereditary in my family line. 😔
Glad you’re taking the time for yourself and healing
God bless you for sharing ❤
❤
I’m so proud of you for doing what you need to for yourself. I pray everything keeps getting better for you.
As a Black woman and therapist...I .can't stress how amazing this is to see. Especially my generation acknowledging the significance and being willing to do the work! Makes my heart smile💕💕
So glad that it was of value to you
Yup, and the stereotype of us being the angry, aggressive archetypes with attitude
are all subconscious coping mechanisms with all the burdens and struggles we often have to go through in this society.
I've seen these manifestations of irritability and anxiety in myself, and it's a result of all of the negativity that's put on us.
Having always to be the fulcrum for everyone else, but no one is ever there to be the fulcrum for us except ourselves.
That's why many Black women we're so Spiritual because we turn to GOD as our safeguard, all we have.
Glad these issues are now being addressed more often, it's needed, Black Women we Matter.
It's Healing 🙏❤💞💕
God in Heaven is ALL you need ❤
The wisdom of God is profound.
You stated this perfectly.
It would help if our men stood by us.
Yes, yes and yes sister! You said something here!
I could not have said it better 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾
Dr. Antoinette “Bonnie” Candia-Bailey has been heavy on my heart. Dr. Bonnie as we affectionately called her was such a beautiful soul of love and light. We lost her to workplace bullying and lack of support for her mental health requests. It’s a devastating wake up call. May she rest in peace 🙏🏾
It was really a tragic story. It triggered me because of my own workplace bullying story where I assaulted and ridiculed. HR or management would not do anything. I became severely depressed, anxious and suicidal. I quit without notice before executing my plan. As a result, I lost my apartment and no one wants me around or in their home because I'm not a "strong black woman." My mental health struggles are ongoing. Hoping this year gets better for me.
@@misslc7864I am praying for you in the name of Father God, His Son Jesus the Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah ✝️ I love you my black sister. ❤
My sister the situation hasn’t been loud enough because it’s still happening. Just recently in Maryland they forced a female superintendent out of her position
@@misslc7864 praying for you. 🙏🏾 ❤ just don’t stop asking for help. Hopefully there are organizations around you that can support you
My earliest memory of me being depressed I was about 4 years old..my parents had a terrible relationship! I wasn’t being cared for emotionally speaking…we are not to cry about anything!!!! It can be horrible living like that!
I suffered with depression for 2 years without even knowing it. I didn’t open my curtains for 2 years and my home was a dark chaotic organized mess. I’m the type that is always upbeat, show up for others, etc. Then I started distancing myself for ppl. Then it just dawn on me, omg my home is the reflection of how I feel inside. I didn’t tell a soul, and when I tried, I wasn’t heard, so I continue to stay silent about it.
What she said about suppressing emotions, that actually can contribute to fibroids. It’s something I’m actively working to overcome and I’m glad that this conversation is happening publicly on big platforms. I have been having these convos out loud despite being called dramatic and emotional lol because we need to talk about this more!
The body always keeps count of everything we suppress.
Yes
Really?
Agreed. We're going to have to be our own deliverance in this country
Yup and all types of diseases including autoimmune. We have to take our emotional wellness seriously. Thanks for sharing! 😊
I have mental health. I see a therapist and Psychiatrist. I take my medicine. They're beautiful ladies.
Good ❤
Awesome!
I just started my journey and irritability is a sign of depression.
Congrats on the start of your journey sis! ❤
So glad you have started your journey to healing, trust me, you will not regret it!!
I’m at my lowest mentally right now and I was still able to get someone out of their depression.. I just wish I had that person for me .. therapy is expensive and should be covered with insurance
This is exactly how I feel and what I need. I've been there for so many people and helped them out of darkest places. Now that I'm depressed and suicidal nobody is there for me. These same people call me lazy and some even calling me crazy. It's frustrating and exhausting.
same here xoxo
My prayer is that we, myself included, learn to be that for ourselves 🙏🏽💛 and have resources to do so.
BW, in particular, have generally not been allowed to have strong boundaries. Society has had the expectation that BW will be available to all others, whenever and however they require. Thankfully, BW are pushing back against that-- setting very strong boundaries and letting those who haven't received the memo know it up front and without hesitation. After self love and acceptance, setting and holding boundaries is key in achieving the peace that ALL people deserve to live with.
It's not just society. It's the way we raise our children...
@@sparklesp9304 Yep.
My comment wasnt meant to be inclusive of every detail of the pathology that has led us to where we are today.
Hopefully, young Black girls and women can be shown the importance of boundaries- by those who love them enough to do so.
@@sparklesp9304not me but yes most black people are too tough on girls
I first want to take a moment to acknowledge the talent and beauty of Deborah Roberts.❤
This was an excellent segment that raised very real concerns about that “strong black woman” burden. We have been the mules of the world for far too long.
I want to add that a lack of motivation to do even basic tasks is a major sign of depression as well. It is often misconstrued as laziness, but it’s not.
Yes that is so true about it being referred to as laziness! In the deep south where I'm from, many black people that suffered with mental health problems were said to be either "lazy or crazy ". There was no in between! Some of my relatives were placed in institutions all their lives because they were labeled as being crazy. So they never got the mental help they really needed. So sad!
One of my faves. Her and her hubby deserve their flowers.
And it is so palpable in real life! I am not sure my mother and I would have been able to be so vulnerable if it was anyone else interviewing!
Tbh that’s exactly how I feel currently. I don’t want to do anything. Especially work, being a mom to my son, cook or run errands. I have no energy or motivation at all. I’m going to start going back to therapy next week. 👌🏽
@@tinyking11 please check about short term disability from your job. You owe it to yourself to take a mental break and they will pay you for it. You need rest! I hope the therapy goes well for you and that you heal🤍
Being told to “Pray it away!” and you are just not praying hard enough or you are weak.
You should pray. Better than twerking it away.
That part 👏👏
@@Jamesgalc-gs8wureally?? Who said anything about twerking? Prayer is important, but just like when you get a cancer diagnosis, you pray, and still see your oncologist, the same applies to mental health.
@iieshacarter hey I was making a commentary about how our culture has put a focus on egregious sexual behavior as the solution to metal health. For reference see hot girl summer. I actually see it as a large factor in why so many black women are stressed now. Losing spiritual warfare by relying on crystals, horoscopes and other bull and you know I'm right.
This advice can add to the depression because it places a burden on someone when they are already struggling and it also implies that the person hasn't already prayed. So sorry that this kind of insensitivity is still viewed as a solution.
This is making me emotional. I come from a family of women steeped in mental health issues. I begged my mother to do therapy with me since I was a teen in high school and it was strongly rejected. My mental health issues were also downplayed and dismissed. Seeing this woman and her mother makes me happy but sad at the same time because its what I deeply longed for in my own life. I may not be able to have this with my mom but I am going to be sure my daughters have it with me. I am already explaining emotional health to my young children and having open conversations and the impact has been beautiful to watch. ❤
I am so glad to hear that you are breaking the generational barrier that has kept women in our community from being FREE! And never say never with your situation with your Mom, there is always an opportunity for growth and healing.
I can also relate to much of what you said. My mom to this day refuses therapy. As for me, I have seen great personal success in going to therapy for diagnosed mental health issues.
Black women push through, work hard, sacrifice, and give to everyone. We deny self to show up for everyone. I learned to say no and say it is okay to not be available all the time.
Yup. Its only blk women that do this. 🙄
We clearly need to stop and pour into ourselves because no one is pouring into us
Yup, no is a full sentence and is filled with self-love
No one talks about how expensive therapy is though. I've been trying to find an 'in-network' therapist and I'm getting no call backs after leaving messages. I'm trying to get diagnosed too.
Same here. I hope you find one.
What insurance and what state are you in? Also considered the AAKOMA project, they offer 5 free sessions of therapy to people of color.
I encountered the same, and just to warn you, some therapists are toxic too! Some just want to take your money and some need help themselves! My advice is to start looking at your childhood and began to pinpoint what was unhealthy there.
@@trish4540A person would need to be self aware to even begin to do work on themselves. Most people are not self aware if they are stuck in their trauma cycles. The mother in this video admitted herself that she didn’t think she had a problem. Like everything else in life, choosing the right therapist for you requires time and vetting. There is an abundance of information online that teaches people the red flags of a bad therapist so that people can be more informed. Telling people to work on themselves without guidance is harmful and doesn’t help those who are struggling alone. Your suggestion reinforces the negative patterns this video addresses. How can one leave the room (depression) when they cannot see the door?
@mariejae, There are churches that have low cost mental health if not free counseling as well. If you are more comfortable with a church using licensed clinical therapist I believe you may able to find one.
I have been crying and ruminating so much that it is hard to control. This past year was so traumatic for me and I never knew how much I carried for other people. I cannot be everything for everybody. The stress was beginning to effect my health.
You may have CPTSD. I suggest getting a mental evaluation or look up a TH-cam video on the signs of it. It’s ok, you’re ok. Locus self control. You can only control your thoughts, feelings what you do and say no one else. Listen to your gut.
The anxiety, depression, and ruminating (24/7) is so bad. I am currently seeing a great therapist but the therapist is super booked all the time. So I see them once a month. I do pray for better days and hope the same for you all on this journey.
SO SO SO GLAD that this is being talked about in our community. Ive often been open (not always voluntarily) with my mental health struggles, and my family oftentimes outcasted me for it or looked at me as weak. It's different when you're naturally empathic too or sensitive in a harsh world like this and can't even be upfront or emotionally supported by the people who are supposed to have your back. Too many people being lost, feeling that they have to suffer in silence and that the world doesn't NEED their voice and their truth to be heard. Please, if you deal with mental health issues, depression EVEN some kind of mental illness- find a community that understands because trust me they are out there. Maybe not as close as you'd like, but honey, someone is going through the same pain as you. trust and believe that
Well hello kindred spirit! lol 🥰🌻@@trish4540
I truly needed to hear this. Thank you so much! I'm literally in tears right now. Much love to you and everyone on this platform.
You are much stronger than anyone who perceives you as weak, as it takes strength and courage to recognize and work on mental health wellness. Unfortunately, our heritage has taught us that crying and revealing our emotions is a sign of weakness. This behavior has been taught throughout generations and we as a community must engage more in conversations to deprogram ourselves from repeating.
A lot of love to all of you beautiful spirited ladies !!
Entering menopause has been a gift for me for one reason: it has forced me to be vocal regarding mental health. I have gone to therapy throughout most of my adulthood. I stopped pretending to have everything so pull together went inside. I was just falling apart. Most people in our lives, expect for us to be the strong, black woman, including our white counterparts. One of my good friends referred to me as that a couple of years ago and I just said I’m not that strong. God is my strength. One thing I would love to see is more of us going into the mental health profession, because out of all my years in therapy, I have only had one black psychologist. Some things I did not have to explain because of shared cultural experience.
I am so happy to see this air. Unfortunately. I lost my manager to cancer the day after Christmas. I’ve never considered therapy but I will start my first session the end of this month, I’m actually excited about this new journey ❤❣️❣️❣️
Did you lose your manager or mother?
Hello, My manager who was a dear mentor and close friend
As a WOC retired psychiatric caseworker this is so important. Ladies remember this Mind, Body & Spirit. For many it is also releasing generational trauma. We often carry the pain of others and take on our nuturing roles when we need to step back and nourish ourselves. The flip side of anger can also be depression. Again covering underlying issues and needs we have ignored or buried deep.
what options are out there if talk therapy isn't helpful to you?
Why do black women face different symptoms of depression(irritability) compared to eg. white people?
My cousin wouldn’t want to cry bc she said she wants to be strong I told her nothing is wrong with being vulnerable. Being strong is asking for help
Oh man this!!! This is me everyday smh
I was raised to suck it up even if it hurts,pull yourself up and never ask for help.Your basically on your own kid even as a young person,that was the message.And there was alot put on me to show that I was never good enough.
This is VERY important. It's not just beneficial for us to find a good therapist but to find one who can relate to *our* struggles.
A few years ago, I'd had a women therapist. When I discussed racism, she acted surprised. "WHAAAAT!? In this day and age!?" She then told me of how she went to church with her Black friend and all the Black folks were so kind to her. Listen...lol, I found me a wonderful Black therapist and... *chef's kiss* She understood and could relate to a lot of the b.s. I had/have to deal with, we've read some of the same Black history and sociology books...
If you're Black, I recommend finding a good Black therapist.
Yes!!!
I'm a therapist, and I approve of this message.
You shouldn't. Please go back and revisit some education, but maybe not from a woke institution.
Hey my fellow therapist! Thanks
I shared this video with my Mom hoping that if it’s “on TV” she might lean in. Let’s hope it works!!! Shout out to whoever produced this piece. It was needed.
Good luck! 🙏🏾 My mom is the same way...if it's not on the news then it's not real/notable/didn't happen 🙄😒
I hope she leans in too!
Wow! This is right on time!! I am currently going through the process to become a professional counselor and the struggle to maintain my own mental health in toxic environments is challenging but I’m going to keep going until I can help our people!
I wouldn't risk my health to study health...
Yes!!! We need therapists like you that can relate. Mine is a black woman who specializes in helping navigate toxic work environments for BW ❤
I understand! Therapist definitely need a therapist and a safe place to land. May you find it !
Absolutely! I love that for you!! ❣@@ChelleInTheCity
Yes! Thank you!! ❣@@LaurenEBoone
More important than our clothes, hair & nails (the outer trappings of being well) ... is caring for our psyches (mental well-being).
🕯Sandra Bland & Antionette Candia-Bailey
Great discussion👏🏽 Wish my Mother was still here and that we could have gone to therapy together to allow her to talk about her lifelong pains & struggles….glad other black women are starting to be kind to themselves and one another regarding our struggles in life🙏🏾
Lalisha, aw hon God Bless Tu Mama . it is now that i realized how much worse it would have been for ladies in the past and it was so silent. The fact that someone's vulnerability is often time used against that person makes it difficult for people to open up.
❤
I am so glad black women are too, sister! May we all continue to do the work necessary to heal and keep the conversation going.
This conversation right here...Its a ongoing discussion with my mom.
May it keep going for healing to happen!
Thank you for this wonderful story. Please continue to share more about these insightful issues.
Agreed! And we def are on my channel!
I'm a certified Birth and Postpartum Doula who focuses on mental health for my clients. As someone with a history of depression and anxiety I can say that this is so very important! We have to prioritize our mental health. Never be ashamed. I'm in therapy once a month and my life has changed tremendously!
Yes, we love a healthy change! And thank you for your work, it's needed!
@@LaurenEBoone thank you so much!!
For those who believe this is a divisive tactic, I offer you this. This segment was likely highlighted because it is black history month, the second reason also likely is because black children are often either under or over diagnosed for various mental health challenges. They are also living with the highest rates of ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) which are directly linked to job security, health outcomes, propensity for criminality, teen pregnancies and so much more. Last thing to leave you with is that over 60% of black children do not live in a household with both of their parents- another stark statistic that makes depression AND the lack of access and resources to manage that depression a large conversation particularly during black history month. While this focuses on black women, they were once children and more likely to be the primary caregiver for today’s children, I can see why starting there was the choice.
💯They wouldn’t understand because they think black and brown women are supposed to put on this happy face and appear “strong” I no longer care about offending others.
@@TiondaRae you all do the strong black woman thing. White people don't have a part in that. Maybe stop doing that.
I am so happy these conversations are happening more and more but we can do better. Mental health affects everyone and manifests in so many ways, share these conversations at home, in school at work and anywhere humans interact.
Agreed! take up space with this topic!
Beautiful.❤ Vunerability in a safe place is healing. Love what they're doing.
Thank you! It truly is!
Can we stop referring to black women as women of color? There is a difference between being a black woman and a woman of color. It’s a difference in how we are treated compared to women that are white adjacent. We do not have equal struggles in the workplace or when it comes to dealing with mental health. It’s a reason why you kept referencing being a “strong black woman.”
I agree.
Can't please you. . Don't say color, don't say black, don't say African American. .
Love this segment. Very informative. Our mental health is so important!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
So true 🙏🏽
So true!
The racism in the comments with people not understanding how important this discussion is. Its not division, whew hit dogs will holla always.
@seizuregirlllll because you wouldn't, racism does not have to be blainted calling someone the n word, and honestly saying yall are nuts for knowing the forms proves my statements. This article/ segment is bringing awareness to black depression amd considering the systematic racism in Healthcare and education... well I'm not going to waste any of my breath trying to explain because your ignorance will just allow you to ignore and continue to live in the ignorant blissful bubble of your life
@seizuregirlllll I see my last comment didn't register but your comment proved my and saying yall are nuts well thats hidden racism. But I'll let you have your ignorant blissful life you think "we" have and ignoring awareness of systematic racism which is essentially what this segment was about. But ok
@@seizuregirlllll idk if you notice but it’s black history. So naturally there will be topics that petain to black folks, especially black women. This topic is something that MANY of us deal with and it’s necessary to have discussions like this. Grow up and stop being pissy you’re not the topic of discussion
Why are you being so defensive. Like they are just highlighting issues specific to bw without minimizing those of other races. What is wrong with you?, now you literally wanna fight 😂. YOU are the problem we bw talk about. It’s like a man jumping onto a post about women’s issues and saying “well men have issues too, why are you leaving us out?” Wouldn’t that be crazy if a man actually said this? You is acting crazy right now, chill
@@trish4540 depression isn’t just defined to black people it’s all people but you seem to get offended when someone points out segregation. I can be and act whatever way I want I don’t need to validate that to some stranger.
This was a great topic.
I’m so glad to hear this. Because Black Women are not allowed to be sad down depressed. We are supposed to keep it in be strong but me my cousins have along with our aunts have been breaking this down. I’m so glad we’re learning
Love this segment,we need more dialogue like this in our communities especially intergenerational!
Yes! the intergenerational conversations must be had!
All of this has to do with boundaries. They try to overload me at work and say no to certain tasks. Burnout comes from a lack of saying "no"
We're not allowed to say no to our authority figures in our culture as children
@@sparklesp9304 what culture? America? And that's a lie we make in our minds and our parents made us believe. I'm setting boundaries with my parents now and it works full proof. Was there push back yes? But it did work it just takes consistency and time.
I love this segment because as a mixed and Black woman, I dealt with history of depression and a period of suicidal thoughts because of situations in my life. However, I am so joyful that I am seeing a counselor to address my issues and trying to address the root of my problems. As a Black community, woman should address their traumas and the root of their issues to be addressed so they can be healed from the inner so joy can reflect on the outside. ❤100 💯
Indeed!
I still struggle with my mental health and it's sad to see that not having a support system from your family is such a common issue amongst black women including myself. I had to cut everyone off. Hope my fellow black sisters can heal themselves for their own good ❤
Thank you, GMA, for this segment. I knew I wasn’t that stereotypical strong Black woman and therapy helped me figure out the best coping mechanisms going forward.
I’m so glad light is being shed on this. I grew up hearing “black people don’t get depressed” plus serving in the military. Let just say it hard to keep my mask in tact 😔Thank you for making this news🥹👑❤
Thank you for this segment! Much needed.
Yes, true, and with losing my mom, i have to find ways to talk to people about things so i will not get stressed out
Nothing worse when you're feeling down or depressed and just don't have the energy to talk, and Family or Coworkers assume you have a "Attitude", (especially for those of us who are normally chipper) not considering that you may be down or Mentally spent. 😢 When I was in a Teenager or in my 20's, I really wore a Mask of a fake smile. But not anymore. Without being rude, I make it known "Excuse me, but today I don't feel like faking it".
Right! Folks can be so quick to assume. I love your new approach of "Excuse me, but today I don't feel like faking it." Good for you!!
This was what I needed to hear. I know my mom has a lot of hurt in her life, from being dark-skinned, a single mother... and that insecurity and self-hatred was passed on to me. I would love to do therapy with my mom as we never talk about our inner most feelings, but I am scared of what she would say and think. I don't know... but I guess trying to broach the subject won't really hurt. 🧡
Yesssssssss!!!!!! I'm so happy this is being talked about.
Please keep this conversation going and continue to amplify it! I’m so happy the older generation of black women are starting to open up and get the help they need.
I also tried psychprofile's anxiety test.
2:18 She’s so right. Depression is not just sadness irritability and anger can be symptoms as well. Therefore, the aggressive black woman stereotype is really just a bunch of people experiencing a unique form of oppression, extremely frustrated and pressured with all the disrespect. I guess, it’s much easier to blame and get pissy about people’s reactions than to stop the behaviour causing harm and death. 🫤
We do suppress our emotions
equity isn't equality ....parents sometimes feel like being there, being available is equity but it isnt...giving a child what they specifically need is equity..
we need more black therapist.
And Malaysian therapists, and Brazilian therapists, and Native Alaskan therapists, and Egyptian therapists, and.....
It shouldn't matter the color. . Get the help
@@lovelocked5385 facts!! We are so DONE with this new form of racism and segregation!!
Great story. Our community needs to hear this.
I mean we have black therapist telling us to suppress our feelings. It is alarming how many bad therapist are practicing right now. It a lot of talking but the world still doesn’t acknowledge black women emotion and depression. It is actually sad.
I have never felt more seen!
This was amazing!!! Therapy was the best decision of my life it saved my life 😢 I’m so thankful! Going thru a really hard time at work and this appeared. Amazing interview Deborah! ❤❤❤
So glad this important issue is being discussed
This segment featuring my own mother and sister discussing black women and depression leaves me with a profound sense of disillusionment. Their intentions may seem noble, but the irony isn't lost on me. The same family dynamics that contributed to my own profound depression are now under a spotlight, with those involved portraying themselves as advocates for mental health. It's peculiar, almost laughable, how the cycle of seeking validation unfolds.
Five and a half years ago, I made the extremely difficult decision to distance myself from this very toxicity. The peace I've since found speaks volumes to the necessity of that choice. In 2022, I expressed to my mother what I needed from her to move towards reconciliation on terms that honored mutual respect and understanding, only to be met with silence. It now makes sense that the pursuit of public adoration has overshadowed the genuine work of healing and personal accountability.
As someone who has lived through the pain, hurt, and betrayal that can tear families apart, I can say with certainty that the decision to step away is never made lightly. It's a painstaking choice aimed at preserving one's mental and emotional well-being. To anyone else experiencing this pain from your "family", know that you're not alone. There is indeed life and light on the other side of such a difficult decision to estrange.
While my family seeks applause, I've found solace in true authenticity and inner peace. It's clear now more than ever that our paths diverge significantly, and I am at peace with that. To those who resonate with this message, remember, it's okay to choose yourself, even with family, It's okay to cut out what harms you. Here's to finding and fostering your own well-being, away from the shadows of pretense.⭐
😮 oh wow, goes to show there are more sides to a story! I’m sure it’s painful to see your mother and sister on a program like this when there is actually a lot of accountability that was missed regarding you. It seems pretty selfish and self serving. I pray for your healing!! ❤️🩹
Wow 😳😳😳
Do you have a tik tok I need to hear the full story smh
This is the story of many of us black women and men. Our parents were raised to suck it up and keep going and thus we were invalidated and taught the same thing. That did not work for me growing up. I went to therapy for the first time over 12 years ago when I moved away for college and it saved my *life.*
Beautiful mom and daughter. Great message
Thank you!
I think the sad thing is in our own families as black women we feel like we have to be independent because of not having anyone we can be vulnerable with! I think we as black women are evolving with these conversations to be better for the next generation
Unfortunately these two women aren’t telling the whole story. The other daughter made a comment here. Apparently there have been no efforts made and there is no accountability. She said they are attention seekers. So sad.
@@MJJones-hd9zw oh wow! I tried to find her comment
Because we are tired of the world thinking we have no feelings or pain!
Then stop pushing strong, single, don't need no man.
Being a non-white passing black woman makes navigating the world exponentially more difficult. Add the expectations people feel youre supposed to endure while your lighter counterparts get nurtured, coddled, protected and given the freedom to be as emotional as they choose… Whew! I’m glad this conversation is being had, and that my sisters are focused on healing! Praying for safety and peace-of-mind for all of us ❤
🎯🎯🎯
Why can't you just say black woman? What is a non white passing black woman? How can you claim to care about black women but then make black women a sub category within their own category? Absolute madness.
@@jesusisapiscesbecause non white passing ppl are a thing but yet claim to be black when they feel like it which they shouldn't if they don't have the full black woman experience.
@@jesusisapisces The topic isn't for you. Centering your own ignorance is madness. Just go research colorism.
@@jinx526 I don't understand how someone can be stupid and arrogant simultaneously. I am well versed on what colourism is, which is why I called that woman out for reducing black women to non white passing black women as if racially ambiguous women are the default. All I needed from a simpleton like you, was for you to say that you didn't comprehend my post. That would have sufficed. Nkiti.
Excellent segment and conversations!! THANK YOU!!!
See the caption and clicked! I work in corporate and it’s a toxic work environment because instead of sucking it up, I speak up. And I will continue to speak up and advocate for myself!!!
Thank you for this segment ❤️ It needs to be a weekly series 🙏🏽❤️
We may be able to do monthly over on my channel!
As a man, particularly a biracial black man, I felt this. There are days I get triggered and realized my mental health is struggling to stay stable because of my family, friends, life, etc… and I’m 28
This is so real!!! Thank you for this segment and sharing it with us on here! ❤❤❤❤
Excellent discussion and very necessary.
Thank you!
This is absolutely such an important message and a great reminder for many people who don’t often get to have these conversations in their own personal relationships. Thank you!
They apparently aren’t being truthful.
The sister commented here and said they are attention seekers. She is dealing with this on her own, this show hurt her more.
I'm so glad people are talking about it more often. 1.2k like.
Thank you for this. I sent this to my family GroupMe chat. 💜
Awesome way to start the Conversation!!
It's hard for Black children to see their White and Asian friends' parents all cheering them on at their plays, sports games, award ceremonies and for us to have no family presence there. It also makes the kid look like they have no support and stigmatizes them in their communities and can impact the way they are treated by coaches, teachers, other adults, etc.
That is so true! A lot of teachers especially w teachers neglect and mistreat black children because no one is going to come to their defense
What are you talking about? Don’t generalize black children as having no support system because that isn’t true.
What? My parents were at all our important events and moments.
I went to predominantly black schools and there were always big crowds of family members whenever there was a special event…
@@princess_ama this person need to speak for themselves and not others. Black children have family support just as any other race
Oversleeping for a Black Woman, or person for that matter is automatically seen as laziness and not linked to depression.
Thank you for this! So important
I have to say. The ability to get and the availability of therapy is not what it was when I grew up. I saw first hand what happens when my brother needed mental health care as adult. He was drugged and out into a halfway house. He was not offered anything other than that. I am so glad things are not the same today.
I deal with depression as a result of my childhood trauma. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder as a result of the abuse I have endured from my parents. I need to get back into therapy.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
((hugs))) you can do it! I hope you can get therapy and find your happiness again
THANK YOU GOOD MORNING AMERICA❤
Thanks for sharing this story!
Thank you so much ❤❤❤ I’m going through it now
Such a great segment.
Thanks Kim!
This is such an important message, thank you for giving this issue a platform!
This was very good. Thank you for sharing.
Good but not true. The sister is in the comments she said this is an attention grab. And it’s hurtful.
Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings.
I subconsciously knew I needed therapy when I was little. Had the courage at 15 to talk to my mom about it and she said no. I suffered for several years until 2021. Put myself into therapy and also taking medication and im glad. Wellness isnt just about the clothes on your back, the food you eat and roof over your head. Its also about checking in and getting help with whats going in your mind.
Yes!!!
Great topic
This is such an important conversation
Thank you for this conversation. I hope to see more and more of this ❤
We will def keep the conversation going on my channel
Thank you for shedding light on this very important topic.