Arnold stopped being cool the moment he ran for office. Terrible governor. Also, after "SCREW YOUR FREEDOMS!" rant he should disappear forever. Last time an Austrian guy wanted to take liberty from people, it ended badly.
@@Dravianpn02 hoho wow, you’re terrible. So she’s watching a bunch of muscle bound guys whom are almost naked; sweating and killing, the sex scenes and much more. From a biological standpoint you do understand that boy brains and girl brains are very much different… they do not experience what we experience and they learn from a young age how to manipulate men it is literally in their hardwired instincts. You never even considered what that’s doing to a little girl brain, practically abuse man. You’re probably inadvertently giving her “the tingles” by showing her that. Biology and psyche are very different for boys and girls.. Why would you show that to a little girl? Awful, and you say she’s not even 10. Not exactly living that “top G” life now are you? There’s garbage on your lawn isn’t there?
@@tadpolegaming4510 right? Can only imagine what that’ll do to a little girl brain, their instincts work differently and their brain is putting different things together rather than what a boy would. The sex witch for example, the whores, the blood. This is straight up for boys and an avenue in which fathers and sons can easily communicate. What do we know about feminine nature? They keep secrets commonly nowadays with 2 persona per body, financially predators, self serving and dehumanizing .. and I’ll just leave that right there, I could keep going for quite a while.
@@THERI0NdotAI and? His pfp is Berserk and he has like a million videos all about berserk. Berserk berserk berserk. I lost track of how many times I've seen a notification from him about berserk.
Me watching as a kid "Conan is the best. Arnie kills everyone." Me watching as an adult:"Conan is the best. The movie is so much deeper than a surface level viewing would suggest."
"The movie is so much deeper than a surface level viewing would suggest." I would actually say the opposite. It's perfect because it doesn't try to be deep and simply goes with the basics of nature; "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you & to hear the lamentation of their women." When you strip away all of the miscellaneous stuff in life, that's what it's really all about. You liked it as a kid because you could recognize this fundamental natural fact, without really putting it into words.
My summery of Predator goes as follows when explaining to the few who have not seen it '5 minutes of red tape, and then it's just guns until everything's dead but Arnie' My love for 80's action movie's is such that my steel fabrication business is named 'Conan Engineering'
@@Nykandros nah, the whole point of the story is given right from the begining with the riddle of steele. Conan's father tell him to trust nobody and nothing but his sword, meaning power reside in steel. Tulsa Doom tell him steel is powerless without the arm animating it, meaning power reside in flesh. but by the end Conan learn that non of them are right, Conan's father sword fail to protect his family and break, and all of Tulsa's zealots failed to protect him. meaning the true power isn't in a weapon, nor in strength, but in one's unbreakable Will.
I work as a security guard, so I do a lot of sitting or walking around and doing nothing. It helps pass time to have books on tape and I was so happy to get the complete 30 hour omnibus of Robert E Howard's Conan. Best $20 I ever spent. And yes, I've listened to it more than once.
@@charlieterry8506 Oof, that's a really good question, they're all so much fun. I think it's probably "Rogues in the House" just for how funny it gets. But "Beyond the Black River" has such strong cowboy and indian inspirations, it's like reading an ancient western, it is at least a close second!
Ah, yeah. Back before IP purchasing became a plague. When authors would willingly allow their fellow authors to use each others' creations in their stories, or even outright make them in each others' worlds. Too bad that went out the window somewhere along the way. Now it's about wealthy people hoovering up other peoples' creations in order to profit from them, backed by lawyers. A rather parasitic turn.
I remember when I saw Conan the first time as a boy, I spent every day of the next week in the woods behind our house looking for my own Atlantean sword.
Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to bear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is the Almighty Loli who alone can tell thee of this saga. Let him tell you of the days of high adventure!
Uncle Iroh/Aku/Splinter: I'm a wizard, mind you! This place is kept by powerful gods! The spirits of kings. Harm my flesh, and you'll have to deal with the dead! An obviously baked man: Can you summon a demon, wizard?
"Slowly, he rose, mechanically wiping his hands upon his cloak. A dark scowl had settled on his somber brow. Yet he made no wild, reckless vow, swore no oath by saints or devils. 'Men shall _die_ for this,' he said coldly." --One of the _hardest_ passages I have ever read
A bit of trivia: Conan retrieving the atlantean sword from the skeleton is a nod to a Conan short story called "The Thing in the Crypt" which was also adapted in The Northman when Amleth enters a similar tomb to claim the sword Draugr.
Fun fact: Conan was shot in my country (Spain) shortly after the death of General Franco and the end of the dictatorship and right during an armed coup made by a faction of the army against the new democratic government. Even that is metal about this movie
I think you can make a joke about how fitting it was to film the Conan movie in a land full of turmoil, squabbling factions and different language speaking groups trying to stay afloat
A bunch of my favorite movies were filmed in Spain. I never got to see any old sets while I lived there (raise a glass to my Andalucian friends), but I did recognize a few places I saw in my travels. Even got to meet an old Spaniard who worked as a stunt double back in the day.
It’s worth mentioning that the riddle of steel as represented in the movie is very much a creation of the director and it plays into the narrative of stoicism that makes up the philosophical core. The movie is very much it’s own thing in comparison to the Howard stories and they have very different philosophies.
Not to mention Valeria is the ultimate waifu. She's also loyal, beautiful, smart and so badass that she literally comes back from the dead, to have Conan's back during the big battle.
Arnold is fantastic as Conan but also props to Max Von Sydow as King Osric. Max was only in for a short while but he nailed it. The monologue about how family is the only thing that matters also showed how the movie is more than just a mindless hack and slash.
It's very rare in western media nowadays, Reacher is the closest one. There's way less now then back in the 70s and 80s though. It's still decently common in Japanese stuff, America seems to hate male power fantasies.
@@NomadMonkey396 It is not quite that. The Hollywood Writer's guild likes to take a male power fantasy and gender swap. If you replace the genders, and tone down the plot bending powers of the protagonist, then you would have a stereotypical male fantasy. They also refuse to acknowledge that a true female power fantasy is Beauty and the Beast type stories.
When you realise pulp is the og of everything we love, you can't go back: no batman without the shadow, no the witcher without elric, no dark-cloaked, large-hat-wearing wayfaring avenger without solomon kane. even Dune is a pulp, it's sections published separately in analog magazine before it was reworked to be a novel. LONG LIVE PULP
“Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.” -Robert E. Howard (From Tower of the Elephant, arguably the greatest Conan short story Howard ever wrote.)
@@MrLolguy93 Queen of the Black Coast is really good too. I’ve always been torn between Tower of the Elephant or The Frost Giant’s Daughter as Howard’s best work since both are such vivid explorations of the mythologies that make up the world Howard created.
@@thiccpalpatineI’ve always liked Hour of the Dragon the best with Beyond the Black River as a close second. That said, Howard did so many great stories, I feel guilty not mentioning more.
@@ahatt96 Hour of the Dragon is also excellent, probably one of Howard’s more action packed stories and it’s one the most notable depictions of Conan as an actual king.
Robert E Howard is never given the credit he deserves, saying the theme without outright saying it. The learned Wizard enslaving a majestic cosmic being while the barbarian instantly recognizes the beauty and value of it as well as the injustice of its imprisonment. Imma go re-read my 70's Marvel Conan comics again
Fun fact, in Russia we have literally a whole book series about Conan... Which have nothing to do with the original author, but written by him. How could this be you ask? Answer is simple, Conan was a big hit when books about him were translated into russian language, so big, that publishers literally hired some authors to write books about him and then release them as if it was written by the original author. It was back in the later soviet and early Russia era.
We have the same thing in the US, the original howard books and then tons of authors who picked up the character where he left off L. Sprague de Camp was one of them, 30 something years ago it was almost 30 books, I have most of them. Most of them pay homage to Howards original books.
The director of Conan with Arnold Schwarzenger has been blacklisted from Hollywood for decades because he directed Red Dawn. A movie about the communists are the fucking bad guys!!
@@WowlxX Original Red Dawn is a great film. The remake was better than I expected but still bad. I actually didnt know they were made by the same director. It shows for sure though.
Are you sure? Cause he worked on several films regularly after Red Dawn's release including directing. And he was also very close friends with many of the most powerful directors and producers in Hollywood. I know he said his failures were weighed more heavily than some leftist filmmakers but of course he'd say that when he's in a rut. That's another thing. He said it in 1992 after the failures of his movies Farewell to the King and Flight of The Intruder. Those two bombs in a row hurt him not Red Dawn. And even then within a year he wrote several films right after including a conservative Tom Clancy adaptation
@@ClubHouseComicsinc Luke Korolowicz has been talking about that director is in the Hollywood blacklists while Hollywood including Disney keep working with known child abusers.
I am among the biggest living Conan fans under the age of 40. It is definitely worth exploring especially to get an idea of Fantasy beyond just Tolkien because there are other ways to do the genre. In fact any person writing Fantasy fiction or even running Dungeons & Dragons Campaigns owes it to themselves to read just about everything in the Appendix N of the original AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide. The things you will find, discovering where certain tropes originated, the depth and variety of what many call a stale genre will shock you. Though one thing I'd like to mention in the discussion of Conan's backstory, his enslavement as a child was made up for the movie and is a very controversial addition to the character. Mostly because him being a slave so young takes away from the idea of him having developed a lot of his folk knowledge and unpredictable Savagery outside of Civilization, in the movie he is trained to fight and kill by Civilization for their enjoyment. In the original stories Conan shocks people from more settled nations by just how ruthless and animalistic he can be in combat, he lacks formal training but honed what works into a vicious fighting style going off of instinct and a mish mash of things he picks up. Also a big part of him being a POV character in the Hyborian Age is he is just as much an outsider to the Civilizations he visits as we are.
By the way, when you're in a job interview and they ask you for three goals in their company- if you say that line, you will get hired. I'm a manager at a tabletop game store because of that (also retired military)
@@renmcmanusI disagree completely and yes I've read all of the original Robert E Howard Conan stories multiple times as a life long Conan fan. The only fact is that Conan from those stories never said that but he was never asked "what is best in life?" either. It is very likely that hypothetically speaking _if_ Howard's Conan from the book answered the question "what is best in life?" he would indeed say something very similar to that if not exactly that. Why? Well because the statement is a paraphrase of a longer statement made by Genghis Khan as CliveofEngland has already pointed out and the similarities between Howard's Conan & Genghis Khan the actual historical figure are numerous. Both come from barbarian tribes. Both were extremely good at combat & warfare. Both started with nothing and become rulers through sheer force, an indomitable willpower, and lucky circumstance. Both were excellent at drawing in followers & uniting divided tribes/people in common cause. Both were very highly intelligent while being considered uncouth & savage by their enemies. Both were often underestimated because of that until it was far too late. Thus it follows that Conan would very likely answer something very similar to what Genghis Khan said as they are mirrors of one another in many ways both in actions, accomplishments, and in temperament.
Conan is one of those characters that, almost poetically, is incredibly well known himself but tons of people don't know his legacy, namely the sheer breath of franchises and IPs the character has inspired. Hell, while Tolkien's work created the fantasy landscape we know today , the likes of Conan and Elric helped build the *foundation* of modern dark fantasy.
Started listening to audiobooks of the Savage Sword Series of Conan. Legitimately some of the best writing I've ever listened to. Robert E. Howard was a true king.
Makes me really hope there can be a resurgence of pulp media. Always had pulp explained to me as cheap cheesy stories but after delving into stuff like Konan, Prince Elric, The Shadow, and Solomon Kane the artwork and writing are fantastic. Plus the intrigue seeing the inspiration for things we love today and being able to trace their origins back to these former titans in media.
I'd argue audio is the best way to experience Robert E Howard. He wrote his stories with how they sounded in mind, often telling them out loud when he typed them.
Man I really need to go through the Conan books, they seem REALLY fun. As far as Conan-inspired stuff, Dungeons and Dragons as a whole takes a lot of inspiration but one of their dedicated settings, Dark Sun, was explicitly attempting to emulate Conan's Hyborean Age. It may not have been as popular as Greyhawk or Forgotten Realms, but it's certainly a major part of D&D history.
I recommend starting with The fenix in the Sword, Tower of the Elefant, Rogues in the house and Shadows in the moon. They are short and simple but very enjoyable
There is a hardback edition containing all Conan stories written by Howard, inclunding unfinished ones. It's called The Complete Chronicles of Conan. It's a bit expensive, but wholesome.
you can find the complete conan chronicles, the fascinating thing is the different type of stories, from noir detective to pure cosmic horror. Conan and generally all heroic fantasy stories of that time are so much more than just a guy with the sword.
I’d also add that Arnold’s thick Austrian accent further added to his portrayal as Conan because it reinforced the dichotomy of the character coming across as a brutish brick house of a man who in actuality is scary brilliant from how he behaves.
Conan's world is pretty cool. I love the Sumerian and early Indo-European vibes of it and ths OG movie really has a lot of historical echoes of the period in costumes, references and even religion. Like Conan's companion believeing in the sky god who is definitely Tengri. And in Conan the Destroyer they literally had Ahriman who is like the opposite of God in Zoroastrianism. Most people have no clue about things like these.
I'm surprised you didn't bring up The Northman at any point. It really does feel like the closest thing to a modern spiritual successor to the original 1982 film and Robert Eggers even went on record stating that it was one of Northman's main influences.
Conan goes from just a good solid character to a legendary one for 3 key reasons: 1) The template. With Kull and Solomon Kane, Howard pretty much created the standard pulp action-adventure story template, but with Conan, he perfected it. The result is that over the years, even mediocre writers of Conan stories (mostly looking at the Marvel comics days) could figure out the nuts and bolts of *how* a Conan story was supposed to work, and implement it themselves. The result is that while there are a ton of middling Conan stories out there, even they tend to be at least OK, but when a good writer gets ahold of him again, you can really see something special take shape (highly recommend the Dark Horse run from the mid 2000s if you want to see some really solid Conan stories btw). 2) The Theme. With Conan, the theming of a "barbarian at odds with civilization" is so central that again, even mediocre writers pick up on it. It's a unique theme in most story telling because, being the result of some kind of functioning society, most written work tends to have a pro-civilization bias. Societies formed from mutual cooperation are good and provide law against the chaos of nature et cetera, et cetera. But with Conan, the core theme is at direct odds with this notion. It allows for any decent writer to find some kind of gripe they have with society at large and turn that gripe into a central tenet of any given story, which tends to have a lot of resonance with readers. Because all of our qualms about civilization (primarily over the dishonesty of it) so rarely get aired, a good Conan story allows a psychological release of what are often pent-up frustrations with society, mostly because . . . 3) The Action Focus. Because every Conan story understands that quintessentially, it always comes down to some sort of sequence where Conan must take action. There may be a build-up of dread or foreboding or lots of people talking or pondering, but at the end of every story (if not throughout) Conan *must* take action to resolve the conflict, and this surety of action means the reader knows that at least some part of the story will be both exciting, and won't end with some kind of anti-climax. Lots of tales end on weak down-notes because the writer struggles to figure out a good way to get the characters out of the jams they put them in, and they often resort to pulling out some kind of deus ex machina where another character resolves the situation, or a conversation resolves the situation, but with Conan, you *know* that's never the solution. It's always going to end with some kind action, whether that's him using his acrobatic wiles to get out of a dangerous crumbling tower or besting someone in a fight to the death, you won't know until the end of the story, but you know it's not going to be some mealy-mouthed waste of your time and attention. Anyway, that's my TED talk on Conan. Thank you for reading this novel.
@@Dehumanizer3000 Wouldn't even doubt it. Conan is a like a training ground for writers at this point in their careers, but the character is so good on his own that he often elevates their own abilities.
My favorite fact about Schwarzenegger is that he never did German-language dubbing for his own roles, because he has some country bumpkin accent that sounds goofy to German speakers.
@@salvadorromero9712 born in Thal, Austria……. so Austrian (info from Wikipedia so guess it could be wrong). Maybe I’m just making silly assumption that a different country might have an accent or dialect difference like my home country of US having many accents and dialects between regions, states, even cities.
@@dennismokry258 Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to suggest it was a silly thing to say. Not at all. I just meant the particular Austrian-German border is not that important in terms of dialectical variety of the German speaking world, in the big picture of things. Thinking about the history of German it makes sense! (And certainly if Arnold's way of talking is such that it would be distracting to the general world of German speakers a hick accent is almost certainly the culprit. Imagine for example if you are an American whether it would be more distracting to hear a Japanese character, say a killer robot, dubbed with generic British English or drawling in a deep backwoods hick American accent!)
I love the second movie. While Conan the Barbarian was a character study on a man seeking purpose, Conan the Destroyer is straight up an old-school D&D adventure and that pleases me greatly!
Scathach is pronounced "skah-hahh", and she's a Celtic mythological character famous for being an all-round badass warrior woman, who went on to train the mythic hero Cú Chulainn (and his adoptive brother-in-arms, Ferdia) in the art of making war and of using the dreaded Gáe Bolg (a blood-red spear made of thorns which, when tossed from the foot, would cause anyone hit to sprout 30 thorn branches inside the wound)
Just like with most characters created by Sir Terry, what was originally created just to take a piss in a w9nderfully snide British manner ended up as a compelling, multifasceted character in his own right. I'd even go as far as to say that if he were to read it, Howard himself would have found the old barbarian inte4esting, if nothing else.
Robert E. Howard was writing heavy metal before heavy metal was invented. A lot of heavy metal bands actually take a lot of inspiration from his work. Elric of Melnibone by Michael Moorcock is another huge influence on dark fantasy and heavy metal culture.
I actually always felt like the Father in the movie knew that the answer was human will and not actual steel. A literal secret left by gods, to be made and used by mere man. The sword is just a tool afterall and has to be made and wielded. I felt that was the actual lesson. And while it broke, clashing with the Atlantean sword, did it break, betray, because it was inferior? Or did it break because it was wielded by an inferior, weaker willed man comapred to Conan? I'd like to think it's actually the latter. In the end, the supposed broken sword, wielded by indomitable Conan, still ended Thulsa. Oh and the little amount of extra and extended scenes from the Extended Cut add so much flavour. Conan and Subotai's dialogue about spring winds is just awesome. Conan is peak low fantasy. My favourite genre. And I consider Berserk low fantasy. Most definitely.
Im glad I've heard someone else say it too now. Conan the Barbarian is one of my favorite movies of all time. I truly believe it is among some of the best movies ever made. It's a beautifully masculine story of determination, companionship, and valor, dressed in an awesome robe of sword and sorcery.
Unrepentantly rated-R. It has the integrity of an action movie of a long-gone era, when studios weren't trying to make movies that appeal to the broadest demographic of consumers, churning out Rated-PG13 blandness. Conan the Barbarian was so well crafted, each scene has meaning. For me, it is a movie I can hop on at any point in a station broadcast and enjoy the movie from any point of the movie I began to watch.
REH's Conan wasnt orphaned or enslaved as a child that was the movie. He left cimmeria to wander the world. Thulsa Doom was Kull's nemesis, dead long before Conan
Good point. I remember that he had to leave possibly because of a blood feud and participated in the sack of one of Aquilonia's outposts as a 16 year old or so.
Didnt know conan was rhis cool. The thought of conan being the indomitable human spirit that fughts and wins against horrors beyong comprehension is really sick. Imma look into him. Awesome video
"I have memories of my dad sitting me down as a kid and having me watch this." Same. My father and I watched *so* many 80s, 90s & 2000s action movies. Didn't matter how violent it was, we always sat down together on a Friday night and watched whatever we chose from his MASSIVE collection of tapes/DVDs. A collection so massive, it to this day, takes up a 6 foot tall, 6 section line shelving unit. And it's a tradition I plan to continue on with my son once he gets older. If anything, I feel the fact I watched such movies with strong male leads, is what made me who I am today: A father and husband, who knows that I have to be strong for myself and for those I have a duty to provide for; while raising my son into a just as strong man. All the while protecting my wife and son from potential evils of this world. Is that a bit dramatic? Yeah, but it doesn't change how badly the world needs more men like so, in this day and age. On a random note: The only movie my father ever had a problem with, was John Carpenter's Ghost of Mars and only because of how much swearing there was. Not the massive amount of violence & gore in it.
Solomon Kane is also a great and influential character created by Robert E Howard with puritan swordsman's adventures leaning a little bit more into the horror aspect of low fantasy alll the while being a different character to Conan, he's my personal favourite
Very accurate detailing of Howard’s life. Being a strong country boy with a smart imaginative mind. He even lost a pen pal because said friend was disappointed to learn Howard had a southern accent. His parents didn’t divorce though. May have just been a slip of the tongue though. But from what I read his parents relationship was very strained.
The Robert E Howard novels read similar to Tolkens, in terms of the language used. Old english and old terms and slang really added to the flavor of the novel, the reader had a sense they were reading ancient tales or stories. Conan was a man's man. Honorable, powerful, purposeful, and surprisingly compassionate.
While the nobles from the civilized lands were often depicted as being hypocrites, in the original novel King Osric was inferred to have once been a man who was a lot like Conan in his youth. His death just cements that for me. “Betrayed by his son and his own guards the great king still stood and fought. Outnumbered, stabbed many times and having the disadvantage of age the king managed to slit his sons throat before being stabbed and dying on his throne.”
Elric of Melnibone!!! by Michael Moorcock. Another of my favorite authors as a kid. He had a whole bunch of books about a hero that lived in every universe. I forget the name.
I first saw Conan the Barbarian with my dad as well. It's one of his favorite movies and he was really passionate throughout the whole time watching it.
A Conan review that dedicates a segment to the score. Finally. Fucking thank you. Easily one of the best music scores ever composed. Too many folk talk about the movie and never go into the score that is the backbone of it all.
I'm not sure how one could possibly review this movie and not mention the otherworldy score. It matches anything Morricone put to film imo. Easily one the best parts of a legendary movie.
I have been looking for a thoughtful, respectful analysis of Conan ever since Extra Credits did what can best described as a completely shallow and frankly insulting video on pulp stories and basically implied that Howard was a bad writer who relied on dated tropes in order to make a quick buck. Thank you for showing the man and his work the respect both deserve.
I remembered binge reading a bunch of Dark Horse Conan comics by the volumes. Specifically one storyline sticks out of him leading a mercenary group into victory against a numerically superior force led by an undead warlord sorcerer as Conan took full advantage that the guy is kind of a simp towards the princess that Conan and his allies are protecting. ...It was pretty damn awesome even if my recollection was horrendously spotty, not gonna lie.
The stories never called him "The Barabarian" he was always addressed as "Conan of Cimmeria" Marvel is also what gave him the moniker. And there is also Red Sonja the movie where Arnold isn't playing Conan, but is basically Conan
I love the Hyborian Age setting! It's funny to hear that Howard did it purely because he was too lazy to write fiction within a normal historical setting because of the huge amount of homework he'd need to make the story fit in and catch the reader up on any relevant info, so he just made an anachronistic post-Atlantean, prehistoric fantasy era and he still wrote an entire essay to worldbuild its history.
Before I thank you for the absolutely educating and metal video, let me thank you for showing me "I am the sword" Motörhead. Good ol'Lemmy still hitting me with curve-balls from the grave. What a legend.
Saw Conan the Barbarian as a child in the theater with my father, and I have rewatched hundreds of times since. Audiences today, more than ever, need media like Conan.
Exceptional shout out to Grim Dark (Half Off), randomly encountered him while sampling Conan lore during a Conan Exiles gameplay phase and his content is an absolute pleasure, putting y'all in good company. Excellent video as always!
The problem with Arnold, especially with recent reveals, is his tendency to be a scammer. If memory serves, he made his fortune after arriving in America in brick laying. He barely spoke English, but he did manage to pull a fast one on his clients. You see, he would offer two different types of brick laying, the normal price one, and a higher priced European one. What was the difference? The price. So his clients would wax on about their fancy European bricks, while no one could tell the difference, and he walked away being paid more than the normal asking price. Hence his ability to act, as he had to sell people lies in real life, but it falls apart when his reputation died during the lockdowns. He is now desperately trying to repair it, but no one will see his movies, no matter how much he lies about it. Like the Conan movie, that was suppose to be done in the late 80s and early 90s, at the peak of his popularity, he turned it down at that point and tried to sweep it under the rug. Now he pulls it out to try and win back support, as many wanted to see that movie at that time.
The scene where he hacks the giant snakes head off was awesome. Also would you believe me if i told you thats not the only time Arnold decapitated a black guy in front of a bunch of dudes in white robes with torches
I think it’s super cool that your willing to talk about a 2 and a half hour Soviet art movie like Stalker, but also talk about Conan the Barbarian. Love the diversity of this channel.
The Story of the writer is very interesting and I hate how the Strong Male lead / power fantasy is being seen as 'toxic masculinity' by the leftists. I think it is important to have these characters I mean I some of my earliest memories of spending time with my dad was watching Conan the Barbarian, he is disabled and the last thing he wanted to see was a main lead that was disabled it would only remind him of his hardships, he much preferred getting to see the fantasy of A Strong Warrior, rather than that of a cripple.
Just came out of Dune 2 to see this on my feed. As a lifelong lover of fantasy, this movie was my exposure to the more adult aspects of the genre (one year before GOT arrived on HBO). Wheel of Pain ( as well the rest of Basil Poledouris' majestic score) is the soundtrack to my gym sessions. I revisited this movie in theaters last December for its 40th anniversary. I'll always be grateful for discovering this iconic film...and only at the ripe age of ten. Perfection 😅
surprised you didn't mention Frank Frazetta, his paintings gave Conan his look that we all know because Robert E Howard had Conan in armor most of the time, unless he was sneaking like during tower of the elephant, that is when he'd wear a loincloth.
One thing I would disagree with. Conan is not a warrior poet, that would be Kull. From what I gathered reading the original novels is that Conan gets through various phases in his life. Just look how different he is in the story The Frost-Giant's Daughter and Beyond the black river. In the first story Conan is young and filled with rage that often puts him in various dangerous situations. On the other hand in the Beyond the black river he is much older and wiser - just read the dialogue between him and the young Balthus. Overall though I do think you've done a great job with this vid! Lots of interesting stuff there. Thank you :)
Glad you posted this. I got the taste for R.E.H.'s stories back in the 60's as a teenager, and loved seeing CONAN, thanks to John Milius and Arnold, up on the silver screen. I have the first 100 issues of MARVEL's CONAN the BARBARIAN with Roy Thomas, Barry Smith, and John Buscema and was grateful for their success. But the first two stories illustrated in THE CIMMERIAN by ABLAZE were the most raw and true CONAN retelling since RED NAILS by BARRY SMITH in SAVAGE TALES. Mostly word for word reprints of Howard's stories. You could feel the dynamics of the old pulp fiction stories and without hesitation or apologies you, the reader, were swept along. That was R.E.H., he could spin a yarn, like nobody else, The greatest pulp writer, in THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
When it comes to fantasy Robert E. Howard, H.P. Lovecraft, Miura and Moorcock are my absolute favourite. And all have pretty much the same theme. Struggle. They view it in different ways but it still embodies the struggle of mankind
Great vid, thank you. I highly recommend that everyone go and read Howard's Conan stories. While the Arnold film is very good, it's not really Conan as Howard depicts him. Conan is not a man who would waste his time pursuing vengeance. He is free of such petty "civilized" tendencies.
Your part on the Momoa Conan is exactly how i feel about it. So much potential to much studio meddling. Also echos of Kevin Sorbo's Hercules kinda dumb down the world.
After 30 years, my father and I actually got my mother to sit down and watch this for the first time last year… and she LOVED it! She’s not about to cosplay Valeria anytime soon, but I do catch her listening to the OST every now and again.
Amazing summary. One of the subtle parts of the Riddle of Steel is when his father says Conan: The secret of steel has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Conan. You must learn its discipline. For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. Points to sword] Conan’s Father: This you can trust. In the end the blade broke but the love he shared with Valeria was so strong she came back from the dead to save him and the love of his friends enabled him to defeat Thulsa Doom. The Bonds of friendship and love are stronger than any steel. [
Robert E Howards other character Soloman Kane is pretty cool too. Love both of them though. I love the short stories. I have both of their collected books.
Worth a mention, too, is that the Fallout franchise has their own spin on Conan; Grognak the Barbarian. In fact, he's part of a larger pulp series, and if Bethesda had any sense, they'd make this an actual series. Just goes to show how prolific Conan is, that even genres that have nothing to do with high/dark fantasy reference it.
4:06 This is partially true. Howard was more mentally unstable from what I can tell, but physically very fit despite his heart condition. There are a couple photos of his physique in his 20s, the guy was a legit pugilist and was built like one for his day. Frank Frazetta, who more or less canonised what Conan is supposed to look like, had a build almost exactly like the ones he draws conan (among other male characters) with in his work. It's kind of fair to say that Conan is a bit of a self-insert in many regards to both Frazetta and Howard, in that both men depicted him as similar to who they really were.
I still remember watching the orgy seen when I was in 6th grade, and being absolutely disgusted by the strung of corpses being used for food. Then Berserk came and made it 10 times worse in the Conviction Arc.
So I don't know too much about the comics version of the Red Sonja, but her backstory sounds a little like Jirel of Joirey. CL Moore made Jirel after correspondence with REH, asked to borrow his red-haired swordswaman and he said that sounds sick as hell. Also, it does irk me that you used the movie rendition of Conan's backstory when the only mention of Conan's youth was in Beyond the Black River, where he mentioned being part of a raid against an Aquilonian fort, as a warning to any who dare step into Cimmeria. Also, to really catch the difference between REH and HPL, I highly recommend The Challenge From Beyond, a round-robin short fiction that had both REH and HPL, along with CL Moore.
A TH-camr (the cyberarian) who does dramatic readings of Conan audiobooks does a fantastic job of explaining and describing the story of Conan. I fucking love Conan. Great job man.
Upon further review, season 2 Primal really pushes the Conan influence via his dealing with "civilized" people. Also, having one line of dialog at the end of the first season is epic AF.
Great video, only wish Fist of the North star was mentioned as the defacto bridge between conan and berserk, with Tetsuro Hara and Buronson being idols of Miura.
Fun fact: While Conan the Destroyer being more PG was definetly due to executive meddling, the movie being so thematically and tonally different from the original might have actually been, at least in part, an intentional decision. The idea apparently was, and feel free to correct me on this, to create an anthology series of movies surrounding Arnold's iteration of Conan that would emulate the style of the comics. Conan arrives in a new land, gets roped into a new quest or plot with companions old and new tagging along from time to time , he'd face different challenges that test him both phisically & as a character and then ride off into the sunset to repeat it all again. These stories *eventually* culminating in thr story of Conan becoming a "king by his own hand". It definetly COULD have worked if done right and there is evidence to suggest that they did really try this with the frankly not that good Red Sonya spin-off that came out a year after Conan the Destroyer. But due to a myriad of reasons, ranging from Conan the Destroyer not doing as well critically and financially as the original to Arnold's rising stardom, this unfortunately never materialised and now its arguable if we'll *ever* see Arnold as Old King Conan.
You missed a moment in the first movie. When he's sitting on a rock thinking, and you see him perk up and come to a realization. That's when he finds the answer to the riddle of steel. Also an interesting thing. Not many people know about berserk, the anime. When it first released on DVD, the English dub actor realized halfway through that he could sound like Conan The Barbarian, so he did that in some bluepers that were added to the DVD.
3:17-4:43 This part really spoke to me, especially as-- at the risk of sounding conceited-- a writer who's concerned with how stories are shaped by the intentions of their writers. It's become normal to criticize stories for being "power fantasies", or not having X, or doing Y. However, there's a sense of humanity brought to the forefront when it's made clear that such writing decisions are intentional and come from a place of simple desire, a sense of "I thought this would be cool" or "I'm writing to myself as much as I'm writing to others". It's one thing when a writer is conceited and talks down to you, but I've gotten to the point where it's impossible to even distantly sneer at the fruits of earnest efforts. It reminds of how _someone,_ another human being, wrote the story you now consume. It reminds of how stories aren't even primarily about satisfying technical conditions as much as they are about communicating _something_ to others-- and that's true, regardless of the esteem in which one may hold a story.
Thanks for the shout out!
Nice to see you here man.
It's the man himself
The man, the legend
GrimDarkHalfOff: Man, Myth, Legend!
🤘😎🤘
Legend
“Everything you thought was cool when you were 12 is what is actually cool:
Arnold, war, metal, huge boobs; all of it.”
Buff muscly men beating the shit out of each other to badly compressed power & nu metal was, and still is, the peak of human achievement.
Yes and no
Arnold stopped being cool the moment he ran for office. Terrible governor.
Also, after "SCREW YOUR FREEDOMS!" rant he should disappear forever. Last time an Austrian guy wanted to take liberty from people, it ended badly.
And Arnold tragically passed in the year 2019, leaving an impeccable legacy of action heroism.
I could sign almost all of that, but War is certainly not cool …
Fun Fact: The stunt double who did the jump on Thulsa Doom’s order scene, set the Women’s Free Fall record at 182 feet.
On one hand, wow! Go girl!
On the other, holy f***!!
@TheSchultinator that, is strength boy
contemplate this on the Tree of Woe.
Fun favt. Who cares
@@Enolagay1945 go cry it out bud
Not a family movie, not at all.
It’s a “father and son” movie.
Indeed
My 8 year old daughter loves it more than my 10 year old son lol.
@@Dravianpn02better put her in line to start testosterone treatment. Trust the science
@@Dravianpn02 hoho wow, you’re terrible. So she’s watching a bunch of muscle bound guys whom are almost naked; sweating and killing, the sex scenes and much more. From a biological standpoint you do understand that boy brains and girl brains are very much different… they do not experience what we experience and they learn from a young age how to manipulate men it is literally in their hardwired instincts. You never even considered what that’s doing to a little girl brain, practically abuse man. You’re probably inadvertently giving her “the tingles” by showing her that. Biology and psyche are very different for boys and girls..
Why would you show that to a little girl? Awful, and you say she’s not even 10.
Not exactly living that “top G” life now are you? There’s garbage on your lawn isn’t there?
@@tadpolegaming4510 right? Can only imagine what that’ll do to a little girl brain, their instincts work differently and their brain is putting different things together rather than what a boy would. The sex witch for example, the whores, the blood. This is straight up for boys and an avenue in which fathers and sons can easily communicate.
What do we know about feminine nature? They keep secrets commonly nowadays with 2 persona per body, financially predators, self serving and dehumanizing .. and I’ll just leave that right there, I could keep going for quite a while.
"For those unaware... I like Berserk a lot."
Understatement of the decade.
Oh, really now ? A guy with a 21 hour video explaining Berserk, a fan ? You jest !
As someone who also likes berserk, I wish he'd shut the hell up about it already and stop making it his entire personality
@@MALICEM12 this is the first time he's mentioned it in an official video since he released the video on the latest chapter
@@THERI0NdotAI and? His pfp is Berserk and he has like a million videos all about berserk. Berserk berserk berserk. I lost track of how many times I've seen a notification from him about berserk.
@@MALICEM12 who gives a shit? go watch someone else then.
Every Conan story in a nutshell is: A Barbarian walks into the Civilized lands, looks around and says “By Crom, you’re all fucking savages!”
*Conan walks into a bar*
Bar: ‘Ggs’
Read hour of the dragon
Sounds like John the savage from a bold new world
Conan's at his best when he's pointing out the hypocrisy of civilized men.
☝😂👍 This comment spot on!
Me watching as a kid "Conan is the best. Arnie kills everyone."
Me watching as an adult:"Conan is the best. The movie is so much deeper than a surface level viewing would suggest."
"...and Arnie kills everyone."
@@kyon813 Most important fact, can't forget it!
"The movie is so much deeper than a surface level viewing would suggest." I would actually say the opposite. It's perfect because it doesn't try to be deep and simply goes with the basics of nature; "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you & to hear the lamentation of their women."
When you strip away all of the miscellaneous stuff in life, that's what it's really all about. You liked it as a kid because you could recognize this fundamental natural fact, without really putting it into words.
My summery of Predator goes as follows when explaining to the few who have not seen it
'5 minutes of red tape, and then it's just guns until everything's dead but Arnie'
My love for 80's action movie's is such that my steel fabrication business is named 'Conan Engineering'
@@Nykandros nah, the whole point of the story is given right from the begining with the riddle of steele.
Conan's father tell him to trust nobody and nothing but his sword, meaning power reside in steel.
Tulsa Doom tell him steel is powerless without the arm animating it, meaning power reside in flesh.
but by the end Conan learn that non of them are right, Conan's father sword fail to protect his family and break, and all of Tulsa's zealots failed to protect him.
meaning the true power isn't in a weapon, nor in strength, but in one's unbreakable Will.
I work as a security guard, so I do a lot of sitting or walking around and doing nothing. It helps pass time to have books on tape and I was so happy to get the complete 30 hour omnibus of Robert E Howard's Conan. Best $20 I ever spent. And yes, I've listened to it more than once.
What's your favorite part of the series?
I have that as well.
@@charlieterry8506 Oof, that's a really good question, they're all so much fun. I think it's probably "Rogues in the House" just for how funny it gets. But "Beyond the Black River" has such strong cowboy and indian inspirations, it's like reading an ancient western, it is at least a close second!
I love that HP Lovecraft and Robert Howard were chill irl and did collabs together.
lmao yeah
Ah, yeah. Back before IP purchasing became a plague. When authors would willingly allow their fellow authors to use each others' creations in their stories, or even outright make them in each others' worlds. Too bad that went out the window somewhere along the way. Now it's about wealthy people hoovering up other peoples' creations in order to profit from them, backed by lawyers. A rather parasitic turn.
The dynamic duo of pulp fantasy.
Outside of naming his cat the N word
@@Liam-lx8xb he didn’t name it that, actually. That’s the name it had.
I remember when I saw Conan the first time as a boy, I spent every day of the next week in the woods behind our house looking for my own Atlantean sword.
Well...did you find it? Answers man....we need answers!
Reality should allow all boys drawn to find adventure to find swords hidden in the woods.
Ironically, numerous children actually have found random buried swords several times in recent years
Something Ive always enjoyed about Conan is that the cultures and people take real world inspiration.
Ah yes I always especially enjoyed the stories about the Shemites and their shifting alliances and the Kushites and their savagery
Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to bear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is the Almighty Loli who alone can tell thee of this saga. Let him tell you of the days of high adventure!
Uncle Iroh/Aku/Splinter: I'm a wizard, mind you! This place is kept by powerful gods! The spirits of kings. Harm my flesh, and you'll have to deal with the dead!
An obviously baked man: Can you summon a demon, wizard?
Another creation of Howard that doesn't quite get enough love is Solomon Kane.
"Slowly, he rose, mechanically wiping his hands upon his cloak. A dark scowl had settled on his somber brow. Yet he made no wild, reckless vow, swore no oath by saints or devils.
'Men shall _die_ for this,' he said coldly."
--One of the _hardest_ passages I have ever read
Sadly, Hollywood practically murdered Solomon Kane for the uninitiated folks.
@Fedorchik1536 I don't care how much Razorfist copes, that movie was doomed the moment they made the _Puritan_ Avenger Catholic.
Solomon Kane is just great!
Ah, The Moon of Skulls. What an adventure.
Conan works because of how little dialogue there is. It lets the fantastic music tell the story.
It's directed like a silent film and scored like a wagnerian opera. It really elevates the acting
The bits where Conan is able to communicate a whole lifetime with a thousand mile stare is perfectly emulated by some of Gut's panels
I used to say that Drive was like a crime version of Conan, back when people were talking about it for other reasons than to say, "literally me lol"
"Robert E. Howard actually likes the idea of badass women"
Based
A bit of trivia: Conan retrieving the atlantean sword from the skeleton is a nod to a Conan short story called "The Thing in the Crypt" which was also adapted in The Northman when Amleth enters a similar tomb to claim the sword Draugr.
The Northman felt like a modern Remake of the original Conan its unreal.
@@JGCO115 The original Norse story that is The Northman was the inspiration for Shakespeare's Hamlet
@@JGCO115 The problem is the main character dies at the end while seeking revenge. Weak! Conan wouldn't pussify himself by accepting defeat like that.
@@JGCO115nah it’s based off a story way older than Conan
Fun fact: Conan was shot in my country (Spain) shortly after the death of General Franco and the end of the dictatorship and right during an armed coup made by a faction of the army against the new democratic government. Even that is metal about this movie
I think you can make a joke about how fitting it was to film the Conan movie in a land full of turmoil, squabbling factions and different language speaking groups trying to stay afloat
A bunch of my favorite movies were filmed in Spain. I never got to see any old sets while I lived there (raise a glass to my Andalucian friends), but I did recognize a few places I saw in my travels. Even got to meet an old Spaniard who worked as a stunt double back in the day.
One Franco dies, another one takes his place
It’s worth mentioning that the riddle of steel as represented in the movie is very much a creation of the director and it plays into the narrative of stoicism that makes up the philosophical core. The movie is very much it’s own thing in comparison to the Howard stories and they have very different philosophies.
Sobatai is the ultimate bro. Conan picked a fight with a powerful wizard, at any point he could leave but doesn't. Faces impossible odds yet stays.
Not to mention Valeria is the ultimate waifu.
She's also loyal, beautiful, smart and so badass that she literally comes back from the dead, to have Conan's back during the big battle.
the scene where he cries in Conan's stead because cimmerians dont cry cemented his bro status
@@mentkansleyunitedstatesgov6364 He is Conan, Cimmerian. He will not cry, so I cry for him.
I feel like Subotai has this self-destructive curiosity that makes him want to stay with Conan to see what kind of bullshit he's about to do next.
@@VicStrange9 i think that's the basis for most bromances 😂😂
Arnold is fantastic as Conan but also props to Max Von Sydow as King Osric. Max was only in for a short while but he nailed it. The monologue about how family is the only thing that matters also showed how the movie is more than just a mindless hack and slash.
He's great in pretty much everything.
THE LIONSHHH... ATE HIM
We need a return to old-school masculine characters like Conan, OG He-Man and even old Shonen characters like Kenshiro and Dark Schneider
Less Dark Schindler more kenshiro but really think they'd fit how things are now
I take this to heart, and an currently working on some. Please! Consider creating them yourself! We need you!
It's very rare in western media nowadays, Reacher is the closest one. There's way less now then back in the 70s and 80s though. It's still decently common in Japanese stuff, America seems to hate male power fantasies.
He Man is flamboyant as hell bro
@@NomadMonkey396 It is not quite that.
The Hollywood Writer's guild likes to take a male power fantasy and gender swap.
If you replace the genders, and tone down the plot bending powers of the protagonist, then you would have a stereotypical male fantasy.
They also refuse to acknowledge that a true female power fantasy is Beauty and the Beast type stories.
When you realise pulp is the og of everything we love, you can't go back:
no batman without the shadow,
no the witcher without elric,
no dark-cloaked, large-hat-wearing wayfaring avenger without solomon kane.
even Dune is a pulp, it's sections published separately in analog magazine before it was reworked to be a novel.
LONG LIVE PULP
“Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.”
-Robert E. Howard
(From Tower of the Elephant, arguably the greatest Conan short story Howard ever wrote.)
First ever Conan story I read. Imo, Queen of the Black Coast is best
@@MrLolguy93 Queen of the Black Coast is really good too. I’ve always been torn between Tower of the Elephant or The Frost Giant’s Daughter as Howard’s best work since both are such vivid explorations of the mythologies that make up the world Howard created.
@@thiccpalpatineI’ve always liked Hour of the Dragon the best with Beyond the Black River as a close second. That said, Howard did so many great stories, I feel guilty not mentioning more.
@@ahatt96 Hour of the Dragon is also excellent, probably one of Howard’s more action packed stories and it’s one the most notable depictions of Conan as an actual king.
Robert E Howard is never given the credit he deserves, saying the theme without outright saying it. The learned Wizard enslaving a majestic cosmic being while the barbarian instantly recognizes the beauty and value of it as well as the injustice of its imprisonment. Imma go re-read my 70's Marvel Conan comics again
Fun fact, in Russia we have literally a whole book series about Conan... Which have nothing to do with the original author, but written by him.
How could this be you ask?
Answer is simple, Conan was a big hit when books about him were translated into russian language, so big, that publishers literally hired some authors to write books about him and then release them as if it was written by the original author.
It was back in the later soviet and early Russia era.
Tell me more. I hope they're filled with wacky Russianness.
So that means that Conan technically has different canons?
@@smaugdounowdawae Multiverse 🙂
We have the same thing in the US, the original howard books and then tons of authors who picked up the character where he left off L. Sprague de Camp was one of them, 30 something years ago it was almost 30 books, I have most of them. Most of them pay homage to Howards original books.
Mind sharing where to find these Russian Conan stories???
The director of Conan with Arnold Schwarzenger has been blacklisted from Hollywood for decades because he directed Red Dawn. A movie about the communists are the fucking bad guys!!
Thanks imma go watch Red Dawn
@@WowlxX Original Red Dawn is a great film. The remake was better than I expected but still bad. I actually didnt know they were made by the same director. It shows for sure though.
Fucking based captain.
Are you sure? Cause he worked on several films regularly after Red Dawn's release including directing. And he was also very close friends with many of the most powerful directors and producers in Hollywood. I know he said his failures were weighed more heavily than some leftist filmmakers but of course he'd say that when he's in a rut. That's another thing. He said it in 1992 after the failures of his movies Farewell to the King and Flight of The Intruder. Those two bombs in a row hurt him not Red Dawn. And even then within a year he wrote several films right after including a conservative Tom Clancy adaptation
@@ClubHouseComicsinc Luke Korolowicz has been talking about that director is in the Hollywood blacklists while Hollywood including Disney keep working with known child abusers.
I am among the biggest living Conan fans under the age of 40.
It is definitely worth exploring especially to get an idea of Fantasy beyond just Tolkien because there are other ways to do the genre.
In fact any person writing Fantasy fiction or even running Dungeons & Dragons Campaigns owes it to themselves to read just about everything in the Appendix N of the original AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide. The things you will find, discovering where certain tropes originated, the depth and variety of what many call a stale genre will shock you.
Though one thing I'd like to mention in the discussion of Conan's backstory, his enslavement as a child was made up for the movie and is a very controversial addition to the character.
Mostly because him being a slave so young takes away from the idea of him having developed a lot of his folk knowledge and unpredictable Savagery outside of Civilization, in the movie he is trained to fight and kill by Civilization for their enjoyment.
In the original stories Conan shocks people from more settled nations by just how ruthless and animalistic he can be in combat, he lacks formal training but honed what works into a vicious fighting style going off of instinct and a mish mash of things he picks up.
Also a big part of him being a POV character in the Hyborian Age is he is just as much an outsider to the Civilizations he visits as we are.
Biggest? So you're physically large?
“What is your goal in life?”
“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women.”
-The Ultimate Male Fantasy
Like a great grandfather used to say.
Thats fucking metal AF, dude!
@@renmcmanus True. It's Genghis Khan's most famous quote and he and his Mongol hordes went out and did it - brutally and often.
By the way, when you're in a job interview and they ask you for three goals in their company- if you say that line, you will get hired.
I'm a manager at a tabletop game store because of that (also retired military)
@@renmcmanusI disagree completely and yes I've read all of the original Robert E Howard Conan stories multiple times as a life long Conan fan. The only fact is that Conan from those stories never said that but he was never asked "what is best in life?" either. It is very likely that hypothetically speaking _if_ Howard's Conan from the book answered the question "what is best in life?" he would indeed say something very similar to that if not exactly that.
Why? Well because the statement is a paraphrase of a longer statement made by Genghis Khan as CliveofEngland has already pointed out and the similarities between Howard's Conan & Genghis Khan the actual historical figure are numerous. Both come from barbarian tribes. Both were extremely good at combat & warfare. Both started with nothing and become rulers through sheer force, an indomitable willpower, and lucky circumstance. Both were excellent at drawing in followers & uniting divided tribes/people in common cause. Both were very highly intelligent while being considered uncouth & savage by their enemies. Both were often underestimated because of that until it was far too late.
Thus it follows that Conan would very likely answer something very similar to what Genghis Khan said as they are mirrors of one another in many ways both in actions, accomplishments, and in temperament.
Frank Frazetta’s art can never be replaced.
Set sends his regards.
🎩
🐍 no step on snek!🇺🇸🇭🇰
CROM 🇺🇸MAGA🇺🇸
Idk, Boris Vallejo comes close
Molly Hatchet albums wouldn't be as good without them
Conan is one of those characters that, almost poetically, is incredibly well known himself but tons of people don't know his legacy, namely the sheer breath of franchises and IPs the character has inspired.
Hell, while Tolkien's work created the fantasy landscape we know today , the likes of Conan and Elric helped build the *foundation* of modern dark fantasy.
“It’s fuckin metal as FUCK dude!!” - Jontron
Berserk and Conan the Barbarian got me back into the gym. Both of their OSTs are in my workout playlist.
Conan the basedbarian.
Bring back classic heros
If they made an adaptation of Conan today he would be an obese black lesbian in a wheelchair.
Started listening to audiobooks of the Savage Sword Series of Conan. Legitimately some of the best writing I've ever listened to. Robert E. Howard was a true king.
Makes me really hope there can be a resurgence of pulp media. Always had pulp explained to me as cheap cheesy stories but after delving into stuff like Konan, Prince Elric, The Shadow, and Solomon Kane the artwork and writing are fantastic. Plus the intrigue seeing the inspiration for things we love today and being able to trace their origins back to these former titans in media.
I'd argue audio is the best way to experience Robert E Howard. He wrote his stories with how they sounded in mind, often telling them out loud when he typed them.
Uh? where???
@@lorddervish212quinterosara6 th-cam.com/video/GfM0AkDMp2M/w-d-xo.htmlsi=zHvVLFhKnAMpA37p a good place to start
Man I really need to go through the Conan books, they seem REALLY fun.
As far as Conan-inspired stuff, Dungeons and Dragons as a whole takes a lot of inspiration but one of their dedicated settings, Dark Sun, was explicitly attempting to emulate Conan's Hyborean Age. It may not have been as popular as Greyhawk or Forgotten Realms, but it's certainly a major part of D&D history.
I recommend starting with The fenix in the Sword, Tower of the Elefant, Rogues in the house and Shadows in the moon. They are short and simple but very enjoyable
There is a hardback edition containing all Conan stories written by Howard, inclunding unfinished ones. It's called The Complete Chronicles of Conan. It's a bit expensive, but wholesome.
Dark Sun and Newhon are severely underrated.
Dark Sun really isn't like the Conan verse at all
you can find the complete conan chronicles, the fascinating thing is the different type of stories, from noir detective to pure cosmic horror. Conan and generally all heroic fantasy stories of that time are so much more than just a guy with the sword.
I like Conan The Destroyer quite a bit. It honestly feels more like a Dungeons & Dragons movie, more so than actual D&D movies.
I’d also add that Arnold’s thick Austrian accent further added to his portrayal as Conan because it reinforced the dichotomy of the character coming across as a brutish brick house of a man who in actuality is scary brilliant from how he behaves.
Conan's world is pretty cool. I love the Sumerian and early Indo-European vibes of it and ths OG movie really has a lot of historical echoes of the period in costumes, references and even religion. Like Conan's companion believeing in the sky god who is definitely Tengri. And in Conan the Destroyer they literally had Ahriman who is like the opposite of God in Zoroastrianism. Most people have no clue about things like these.
Conan is just an amazing character and enjoy the world Robert E Howard created.
I'm surprised you didn't bring up The Northman at any point. It really does feel like the closest thing to a modern spiritual successor to the original 1982 film and Robert Eggers even went on record stating that it was one of Northman's main influences.
Northman is such an enjoyable film, pure viking energy.
Conan goes from just a good solid character to a legendary one for 3 key reasons:
1) The template. With Kull and Solomon Kane, Howard pretty much created the standard pulp action-adventure story template, but with Conan, he perfected it. The result is that over the years, even mediocre writers of Conan stories (mostly looking at the Marvel comics days) could figure out the nuts and bolts of *how* a Conan story was supposed to work, and implement it themselves. The result is that while there are a ton of middling Conan stories out there, even they tend to be at least OK, but when a good writer gets ahold of him again, you can really see something special take shape (highly recommend the Dark Horse run from the mid 2000s if you want to see some really solid Conan stories btw).
2) The Theme. With Conan, the theming of a "barbarian at odds with civilization" is so central that again, even mediocre writers pick up on it. It's a unique theme in most story telling because, being the result of some kind of functioning society, most written work tends to have a pro-civilization bias. Societies formed from mutual cooperation are good and provide law against the chaos of nature et cetera, et cetera.
But with Conan, the core theme is at direct odds with this notion. It allows for any decent writer to find some kind of gripe they have with society at large and turn that gripe into a central tenet of any given story, which tends to have a lot of resonance with readers. Because all of our qualms about civilization (primarily over the dishonesty of it) so rarely get aired, a good Conan story allows a psychological release of what are often pent-up frustrations with society, mostly because . . .
3) The Action Focus. Because every Conan story understands that quintessentially, it always comes down to some sort of sequence where Conan must take action. There may be a build-up of dread or foreboding or lots of people talking or pondering, but at the end of every story (if not throughout) Conan *must* take action to resolve the conflict, and this surety of action means the reader knows that at least some part of the story will be both exciting, and won't end with some kind of anti-climax. Lots of tales end on weak down-notes because the writer struggles to figure out a good way to get the characters out of the jams they put them in, and they often resort to pulling out some kind of deus ex machina where another character resolves the situation, or a conversation resolves the situation, but with Conan, you *know* that's never the solution. It's always going to end with some kind action, whether that's him using his acrobatic wiles to get out of a dangerous crumbling tower or besting someone in a fight to the death, you won't know until the end of the story, but you know it's not going to be some mealy-mouthed waste of your time and attention.
Anyway, that's my TED talk on Conan. Thank you for reading this novel.
speaking of writers, Robert Jordan's Conan stories are some of his best written works, yes better then his wheel of time imo
@@Dehumanizer3000 Wouldn't even doubt it. Conan is a like a training ground for writers at this point in their careers, but the character is so good on his own that he often elevates their own abilities.
My favorite fact about Schwarzenegger is that he never did German-language dubbing for his own roles, because he has some country bumpkin accent that sounds goofy to German speakers.
Yeah, it just wouldn't have worked.
Isn’t he actually Austrian? So the dialect he grew up with would be significantly different from those spoke in Germany proper.
@@dennismokry258 Why would you think that? That's not true at all.
@@salvadorromero9712 born in Thal, Austria……. so Austrian (info from Wikipedia so guess it could be wrong). Maybe I’m just making silly assumption that a different country might have an accent or dialect difference like my home country of US having many accents and dialects between regions, states, even cities.
@@dennismokry258 Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to suggest it was a silly thing to say. Not at all. I just meant the particular Austrian-German border is not that important in terms of dialectical variety of the German speaking world, in the big picture of things. Thinking about the history of German it makes sense! (And certainly if Arnold's way of talking is such that it would be distracting to the general world of German speakers a hick accent is almost certainly the culprit. Imagine for example if you are an American whether it would be more distracting to hear a Japanese character, say a killer robot, dubbed with generic British English or drawling in a deep backwoods hick American accent!)
I love the second movie. While Conan the Barbarian was a character study on a man seeking purpose, Conan the Destroyer is straight up an old-school D&D adventure and that pleases me greatly!
The best part of the movie are backstage photos where Arnold looks tiny standing near Wilt Chamberlain and Andre the Giant.
I always lol when the 14-year-old princess goes to kiss Arnold and he has to sit stone still, sweating
Also at the impressive feat of finding someone on more drugs than Arnold (Grace Jones)
@@ULTRAOutdoorsman Steroids or the average Breaking Bad kind of drug?
Scathach is pronounced "skah-hahh", and she's a Celtic mythological character famous for being an all-round badass warrior woman, who went on to train the mythic hero Cú Chulainn (and his adoptive brother-in-arms, Ferdia) in the art of making war and of using the dreaded Gáe Bolg (a blood-red spear made of thorns which, when tossed from the foot, would cause anyone hit to sprout 30 thorn branches inside the wound)
Proudly maxed her out in FGO.
I won't look this up anyway but are you talking about history or the Fate one?
History or whatever mythic smithic that was?
What is best in life?
hot water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper
Love it
😂
Just like with most characters created by Sir Terry, what was originally created just to take a piss in a w9nderfully snide British manner ended up as a compelling, multifasceted character in his own right. I'd even go as far as to say that if he were to read it, Howard himself would have found the old barbarian inte4esting, if nothing else.
If you've lived for some time in the wild you know 😅
The "shoft" is pivotal.
Robert E. Howard was writing heavy metal before heavy metal was invented. A lot of heavy metal bands actually take a lot of inspiration from his work. Elric of Melnibone by Michael Moorcock is another huge influence on dark fantasy and heavy metal culture.
I commented this before I started watching the video only to see you said the same exact same thing I did 😂
I actually always felt like the Father in the movie knew that the answer was human will and not actual steel. A literal secret left by gods, to be made and used by mere man. The sword is just a tool afterall and has to be made and wielded. I felt that was the actual lesson. And while it broke, clashing with the Atlantean sword, did it break, betray, because it was inferior? Or did it break because it was wielded by an inferior, weaker willed man comapred to Conan? I'd like to think it's actually the latter. In the end, the supposed broken sword, wielded by indomitable Conan, still ended Thulsa.
Oh and the little amount of extra and extended scenes from the Extended Cut add so much flavour. Conan and Subotai's dialogue about spring winds is just awesome.
Conan is peak low fantasy. My favourite genre. And I consider Berserk low fantasy. Most definitely.
Im glad I've heard someone else say it too now. Conan the Barbarian is one of my favorite movies of all time. I truly believe it is among some of the best movies ever made. It's a beautifully masculine story of determination, companionship, and valor, dressed in an awesome robe of sword and sorcery.
love that you used The Witcher 3 soundtrack for Conan contemplating, it fit really well.
Unrepentantly rated-R. It has the integrity of an action movie of a long-gone era, when studios weren't trying to make movies that appeal to the broadest demographic of consumers, churning out Rated-PG13 blandness. Conan the Barbarian was so well crafted, each scene has meaning. For me, it is a movie I can hop on at any point in a station broadcast and enjoy the movie from any point of the movie I began to watch.
REH's Conan wasnt orphaned or enslaved as a child that was the movie. He left cimmeria to wander the world.
Thulsa Doom was Kull's nemesis, dead long before Conan
You did not watch nor listen to the video... (He already told this dumdum)
Exactly,Thoth-Amon is Conan's nemesis. And he left his village just before he turned 18, Zamora was his first major Country he went to.
Orphans are over-done. I prefer a protagonist who does things because he wants to.
This video is about the movie.
Good point. I remember that he had to leave possibly because of a blood feud and participated in the sack of one of Aquilonia's outposts as a 16 year old or so.
Didnt know conan was rhis cool. The thought of conan being the indomitable human spirit that fughts and wins against horrors beyong comprehension is really sick. Imma look into him. Awesome video
"I have memories of my dad sitting me down as a kid and having me watch this."
Same. My father and I watched *so* many 80s, 90s & 2000s action movies. Didn't matter how violent it was, we always sat down together on a Friday night and watched whatever we chose from his MASSIVE collection of tapes/DVDs. A collection so massive, it to this day, takes up a 6 foot tall, 6 section line shelving unit.
And it's a tradition I plan to continue on with my son once he gets older. If anything, I feel the fact I watched such movies with strong male leads, is what made me who I am today: A father and husband, who knows that I have to be strong for myself and for those I have a duty to provide for; while raising my son into a just as strong man. All the while protecting my wife and son from potential evils of this world. Is that a bit dramatic? Yeah, but it doesn't change how badly the world needs more men like so, in this day and age.
On a random note: The only movie my father ever had a problem with, was John Carpenter's Ghost of Mars and only because of how much swearing there was. Not the massive amount of violence & gore in it.
Solomon Kane is also a great and influential character created by Robert E Howard with puritan swordsman's adventures leaning a little bit more into the horror aspect of low fantasy alll the while being a different character to Conan, he's my personal favourite
Very accurate detailing of Howard’s life. Being a strong country boy with a smart imaginative mind. He even lost a pen pal because said friend was disappointed to learn Howard had a southern accent.
His parents didn’t divorce though. May have just been a slip of the tongue though.
But from what I read his parents relationship was very strained.
Before Gut’s could learn to walk, Conan was there to guide him to the path of a warrior.😺
The Robert E Howard novels read similar to Tolkens, in terms of the language used. Old english and old terms and slang really added to the flavor of the novel, the reader had a sense they were reading ancient tales or stories. Conan was a man's man. Honorable, powerful, purposeful, and surprisingly compassionate.
While the nobles from the civilized lands were often depicted as being hypocrites, in the original novel King Osric was inferred to have once been a man who was a lot like Conan in his youth. His death just cements that for me.
“Betrayed by his son and his own guards the great king still stood and fought. Outnumbered, stabbed many times and having the disadvantage of age the king managed to slit his sons throat before being stabbed and dying on his throne.”
Conan the Barbarian and Elric of Melnibone are two essentials of Dark fantasy. The Black Company is also a good series.
"kane" by karl edward wagner is an underlooked gem as well
@@jmlkhan5153 I will look it up as well now. Thanks.
Elric of Melnibone!!! by Michael Moorcock. Another of my favorite authors as a kid. He had a whole bunch of books about a hero that lived in every universe. I forget the name.
The band Domine has a song titled "The Aquilonia Suite" about Conan. Most of their music is about Elric of Melnibone.
@@gilmer3718 Eternal champion.
I first saw Conan the Barbarian with my dad as well. It's one of his favorite movies and he was really passionate throughout the whole time watching it.
ConAnon, what is best in life?
To sneed their threads.
To make your enemies cope and seethe.
@@Snakedude4life To feel bucks breaking beneath you.
And to hear the lamentations of their jannies.
So true
A Conan review that dedicates a segment to the score. Finally. Fucking thank you. Easily one of the best music scores ever composed. Too many folk talk about the movie and never go into the score that is the backbone of it all.
I'm not sure how one could possibly review this movie and not mention the otherworldy score.
It matches anything Morricone put to film imo. Easily one the best parts of a legendary movie.
The OG REH Conan stories are fantastic I actually adapted a few stories and Bloody hell are they beautifully written holy shit
I have been looking for a thoughtful, respectful analysis of Conan ever since Extra Credits did what can best described as a completely shallow and frankly insulting video on pulp stories and basically implied that Howard was a bad writer who relied on dated tropes in order to make a quick buck. Thank you for showing the man and his work the respect both deserve.
I remembered binge reading a bunch of Dark Horse Conan comics by the volumes. Specifically one storyline sticks out of him leading a mercenary group into victory against a numerically superior force led by an undead warlord sorcerer as Conan took full advantage that the guy is kind of a simp towards the princess that Conan and his allies are protecting.
...It was pretty damn awesome even if my recollection was horrendously spotty, not gonna lie.
The stories never called him "The Barabarian" he was always addressed as "Conan of Cimmeria" Marvel is also what gave him the moniker. And there is also Red Sonja the movie where Arnold isn't playing Conan, but is basically Conan
I love the Hyborian Age setting! It's funny to hear that Howard did it purely because he was too lazy to write fiction within a normal historical setting because of the huge amount of homework he'd need to make the story fit in and catch the reader up on any relevant info, so he just made an anachronistic post-Atlantean, prehistoric fantasy era and he still wrote an entire essay to worldbuild its history.
One of my favorite authors, and one of my favorite characters. Thanks for shining a spotlight on the Hyborian Age (and even the Thurian Age).
John Milius was a badass writer and director and his Conan the Barbarian was a fucking masterpiece
John Goodman was doing a Milius impression in the Big Lebowski.
Before I thank you for the absolutely educating and metal video, let me thank you for showing me "I am the sword" Motörhead. Good ol'Lemmy still hitting me with curve-balls from the grave. What a legend.
Saw Conan the Barbarian as a child in the theater with my father, and I have rewatched hundreds of times since. Audiences today, more than ever, need media like Conan.
In this currently softened society, characters like Conan, Guts, Judge Dredd etc are needed more than ever.
Exceptional shout out to Grim Dark (Half Off), randomly encountered him while sampling Conan lore during a Conan Exiles gameplay phase and his content is an absolute pleasure, putting y'all in good company. Excellent video as always!
Dude, the credit reel backdrop and score to the movie. It just fucking rules so hard. God damn, good movie. That ending though.
The problem with Arnold, especially with recent reveals, is his tendency to be a scammer. If memory serves, he made his fortune after arriving in America in brick laying. He barely spoke English, but he did manage to pull a fast one on his clients. You see, he would offer two different types of brick laying, the normal price one, and a higher priced European one. What was the difference? The price. So his clients would wax on about their fancy European bricks, while no one could tell the difference, and he walked away being paid more than the normal asking price.
Hence his ability to act, as he had to sell people lies in real life, but it falls apart when his reputation died during the lockdowns. He is now desperately trying to repair it, but no one will see his movies, no matter how much he lies about it. Like the Conan movie, that was suppose to be done in the late 80s and early 90s, at the peak of his popularity, he turned it down at that point and tried to sweep it under the rug. Now he pulls it out to try and win back support, as many wanted to see that movie at that time.
Even the pumping iron "documentary" was a fake documentary film.
The scene where he hacks the giant snakes head off was awesome.
Also would you believe me if i told you thats not the only time Arnold decapitated a black guy in front of a bunch of dudes in white robes with torches
I think it’s super cool that your willing to talk about a 2 and a half hour Soviet art movie like Stalker, but also talk about Conan the Barbarian. Love the diversity of this channel.
The Story of the writer is very interesting and I hate how the Strong Male lead / power fantasy is being seen as 'toxic masculinity' by the leftists. I think it is important to have these characters I mean I some of my earliest memories of spending time with my dad was watching Conan the Barbarian, he is disabled and the last thing he wanted to see was a main lead that was disabled it would only remind him of his hardships, he much preferred getting to see the fantasy of A Strong Warrior, rather than that of a cripple.
Just came out of Dune 2 to see this on my feed. As a lifelong lover of fantasy, this movie was my exposure to the more adult aspects of the genre (one year before GOT arrived on HBO). Wheel of Pain ( as well the rest of Basil Poledouris' majestic score) is the soundtrack to my gym sessions. I revisited this movie in theaters last December for its 40th anniversary. I'll always be grateful for discovering this iconic film...and only at the ripe age of ten. Perfection 😅
surprised you didn't mention Frank Frazetta, his paintings gave Conan his look that we all know because Robert E Howard had Conan in armor most of the time, unless he was sneaking like during tower of the elephant, that is when he'd wear a loincloth.
One thing I would disagree with. Conan is not a warrior poet, that would be Kull. From what I gathered reading the original novels is that Conan gets through various phases in his life. Just look how different he is in the story The Frost-Giant's Daughter and Beyond the black river. In the first story Conan is young and filled with rage that often puts him in various dangerous situations. On the other hand in the Beyond the black river he is much older and wiser - just read the dialogue between him and the young Balthus.
Overall though I do think you've done a great job with this vid! Lots of interesting stuff there. Thank you :)
Glad you posted this. I got the taste for R.E.H.'s stories back in the 60's as a teenager, and loved seeing CONAN, thanks to John Milius and Arnold, up on the silver screen. I have the first 100 issues of MARVEL's CONAN the BARBARIAN with Roy Thomas, Barry Smith, and John Buscema and was grateful for their success. But the first two stories illustrated in THE CIMMERIAN by ABLAZE were the most raw and true CONAN retelling since RED NAILS by BARRY SMITH in SAVAGE TALES. Mostly word for word reprints of Howard's stories. You could feel the dynamics of the old pulp fiction stories and without hesitation or apologies you, the reader, were swept along. That was R.E.H., he could spin a yarn, like nobody else, The greatest pulp writer, in THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
I'm surprised you didn't mention the cartoon series, tamed for sure, but it was still good and the theme song rocks.
I remember watching on TV (Croatian dubbing), and the theme was awesome
When it comes to fantasy Robert E. Howard, H.P. Lovecraft, Miura and Moorcock are my absolute favourite. And all have pretty much the same theme. Struggle. They view it in different ways but it still embodies the struggle of mankind
Great vid, thank you.
I highly recommend that everyone go and read Howard's Conan stories. While the Arnold film is very good, it's not really Conan as Howard depicts him. Conan is not a man who would waste his time pursuing vengeance. He is free of such petty "civilized" tendencies.
Your part on the Momoa Conan is exactly how i feel about it. So much potential to much studio meddling. Also echos of Kevin Sorbo's Hercules kinda dumb down the world.
After 30 years, my father and I actually got my mother to sit down and watch this for the first time last year… and she LOVED it!
She’s not about to cosplay Valeria anytime soon, but I do catch her listening to the OST every now and again.
Amazing summary. One of the subtle parts of the Riddle of Steel is when his father says Conan:
The secret of steel has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Conan. You must learn its discipline. For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. Points to sword]
Conan’s Father: This you can trust.
In the end the blade broke but the love he shared with Valeria was so strong she came back from the dead to save him and the love of his friends enabled him to defeat Thulsa Doom. The Bonds of friendship and love are stronger than any steel.
[
Robert E Howards other character Soloman Kane is pretty cool too. Love both of them though. I love the short stories. I have both of their collected books.
Worth a mention, too, is that the Fallout franchise has their own spin on Conan; Grognak the Barbarian. In fact, he's part of a larger pulp series, and if Bethesda had any sense, they'd make this an actual series.
Just goes to show how prolific Conan is, that even genres that have nothing to do with high/dark fantasy reference it.
4:06 This is partially true.
Howard was more mentally unstable from what I can tell, but physically very fit despite his heart condition. There are a couple photos of his physique in his 20s, the guy was a legit pugilist and was built like one for his day. Frank Frazetta, who more or less canonised what Conan is supposed to look like, had a build almost exactly like the ones he draws conan (among other male characters) with in his work.
It's kind of fair to say that Conan is a bit of a self-insert in many regards to both Frazetta and Howard, in that both men depicted him as similar to who they really were.
Since you made the 20 hour berserk vid, you are the only person i can watch talk about berserk
I still remember watching the orgy seen when I was in 6th grade, and being absolutely disgusted by the strung of corpses being used for food. Then Berserk came and made it 10 times worse in the Conviction Arc.
So I don't know too much about the comics version of the Red Sonja, but her backstory sounds a little like Jirel of Joirey. CL Moore made Jirel after correspondence with REH, asked to borrow his red-haired swordswaman and he said that sounds sick as hell.
Also, it does irk me that you used the movie rendition of Conan's backstory when the only mention of Conan's youth was in Beyond the Black River, where he mentioned being part of a raid against an Aquilonian fort, as a warning to any who dare step into Cimmeria.
Also, to really catch the difference between REH and HPL, I highly recommend The Challenge From Beyond, a round-robin short fiction that had both REH and HPL, along with CL Moore.
I watch the two Arnold movies at least once a month. I miss these kinds of stories. No nonsense, just pure sword and sorcery badassery.
also good use of the Deadly Premonition soundtrack!
A TH-camr (the cyberarian) who does dramatic readings of Conan audiobooks does a fantastic job of explaining and describing the story of Conan. I fucking love Conan. Great job man.
Upon further review, season 2 Primal really pushes the Conan influence via his dealing with "civilized" people. Also, having one line of dialog at the end of the first season is epic AF.
Great video, only wish Fist of the North star was mentioned as the defacto bridge between conan and berserk, with Tetsuro Hara and Buronson being idols of Miura.
Fun fact:
While Conan the Destroyer being more PG was definetly due to executive meddling, the movie being so thematically and tonally different from the original might have actually been, at least in part, an intentional decision.
The idea apparently was, and feel free to correct me on this, to create an anthology series of movies surrounding Arnold's iteration of Conan that would emulate the style of the comics.
Conan arrives in a new land, gets roped into a new quest or plot with companions old and new tagging along from time to time , he'd face different challenges that test him both phisically & as a character and then ride off into the sunset to repeat it all again.
These stories *eventually* culminating in thr story of Conan becoming a "king by his own hand".
It definetly COULD have worked if done right and there is evidence to suggest that they did really try this with the frankly not that good Red Sonya spin-off that came out a year after Conan the Destroyer.
But due to a myriad of reasons, ranging from Conan the Destroyer not doing as well critically and financially as the original to Arnold's rising stardom, this unfortunately never materialised and now its arguable if we'll *ever* see Arnold as Old King Conan.
You missed a moment in the first movie. When he's sitting on a rock thinking, and you see him perk up and come to a realization. That's when he finds the answer to the riddle of steel.
Also an interesting thing. Not many people know about berserk, the anime. When it first released on DVD, the English dub actor realized halfway through that he could sound like Conan The Barbarian, so he did that in some bluepers that were added to the DVD.
The berserk dub bloopers are divine
3:17-4:43 This part really spoke to me, especially as-- at the risk of sounding conceited-- a writer who's concerned with how stories are shaped by the intentions of their writers. It's become normal to criticize stories for being "power fantasies", or not having X, or doing Y. However, there's a sense of humanity brought to the forefront when it's made clear that such writing decisions are intentional and come from a place of simple desire, a sense of "I thought this would be cool" or "I'm writing to myself as much as I'm writing to others". It's one thing when a writer is conceited and talks down to you, but I've gotten to the point where it's impossible to even distantly sneer at the fruits of earnest efforts.
It reminds of how _someone,_ another human being, wrote the story you now consume. It reminds of how stories aren't even primarily about satisfying technical conditions as much as they are about communicating _something_ to others-- and that's true, regardless of the esteem in which one may hold a story.