How have you got a SCAM CALL off your back? - Reddit Podcast
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If they're authentic telemarketers just mention getting a lawyer involved, you don't have to be rude about it, but they'll take you off the call list in fear of a lawsuit.
For non-scam telemarketers I always just handed the phone to my 4 year old. If they got evaluated based on call duration they could stay on and talk about computers with a cute 4 year old as long as they wanted.
I don't think I've ever had a legit telemarketing call
But i get several scam robocalls a day
I know they're fake because they spoof the area code
One of my favorite responses from my mom to a scam caller was when she answered the phone with 'county coroner's office you stab em we slab em'
Dang that’s a good one
ive herd about pete's circumcisions you flop-em we chop-em
I would hand the phone to my toddler who spoke gibberish at 50 mph and tell her "this nice man wants to hear about your kitty"
Aww that’s sweet
@@DoctorTwo dang I didn’t think about that lol but I would most likely put the cat on the phone instead of the toddler
Taking notes 😂 my girl is 3 months but I hope I remember this in due time
I have once yelled at someone on the phone in a Skeletor impression, yelling that He-Man should not call this number again.
Best answer was my grandma (shortly after great grandfather died)
Scammer: "Hello id like to speak to Mr. Johnson
Grandma: "Yeah so would I ".
When I got those "You been in a accident and it's not your fault"
I say "Oh honey that's no accident :)"
And then I got calls that were asking me for my credit card information
I put on the best news reporter voice and they always get scared and hang up 😂😂😂😂
(I voice act so I have fun also talking as random characters and it's funny 😂😂😂)
Before spoofing got so common I'd jot down thier numbers on a list and make up a name to add, then say my "friends would like to hear more" over 100 numbers spam calling each other, good times
I LOVE THIS IDEA
This was how I used to entertain myself when I was home alone, waiting for my parents to get home from work. This was back when caller id was relatively new, and all the spam calls were actual peopled. My favorites were "Middletown Mortuary: we slice 'em and dice 'em. How may we help you?" and "Congratulations! You are the fifth caller and have just won a FREE bottle of ketchup!". I also have an uncanny knack for imitating a female automated voice, so I would imitate our answering machine, ending with, "Please leave a message after the tone," and then remain completely silent. Longest it took for one of those callers to hang up was a solid minute.
I do "Federal Bureau of Investigation, special agent (name of the SSA at my local field office) how may I help you sir or ma'am?" It comes out as one long string like I'm a bored Fed, and they always hang up. Did that four times and the calls stopped.
"I told you not to call me until it was done!"
I usually do not pick up on calls from numbers I don't recognise, but sometimes I am waiting for a call from someone whose number I don't know and get a spam call. If it is a live person, I usually say "Does your mother know you are a thief?" They hang up. Other times, I'll say "There's someone at the door, hold on a moment" then put the phone down and walk away.
"Up The Butts; you say the measure, we sell the pleasure." One I just made up and am going to use
A local HVAC company was calling multiple times a day, then claim that it wasn't them. I asked, How many phone lines they had, followed by, "I know hundreds of retirees with time to kill. If you call me one more time I will turn them loose to take turns tying up your phone line with hundreds of questions so that real customers couldn't reach then. She started cursing that was harassment, I just laughed and hung up but they never called me again.
I told them I didn't have a computer or laptop, but my microwave had been acting up and asked if that could have been sending signals.
Whenever I get these types of calls I just pretend that I'm a desk clerk/Automatic phone service for a sex shop. Sometimes they'll hang up just as soon as I say," Hi there, and thank you for calling Devils Den. Where your sin, is our pleasure." There are some that are too stunned to do anything but they'll typically hang up after I tell them about our specials and sales. Works every time!!!🤣🤣🤣
my brother once got a scam call of some lady offering him to buy something. so he UNO-reverse carded her.
I was told of the story second hand, sorry for not being accurate -
scammer: "hi, blah blah blah, would you like to buy a *car* with a discount?"
bro: "would you like to buy a parrot?"
scammer: "sorry?"
bro: "exotic green *rare breed* parrot, only for XXX dollars-"
scammer: "no, I don't want to buy a parrot"
bro: "c'mon, let's help each other out, you want to sell a car, I want to sell a parrot, it's a win-win"
*scammer hangs up*
As someone on a disability pension, I have a lot of free time. The longest I kept a scam caller on the line was just over an hour. He was calling from Windows about a virus on my computer. I grew up around coders, but because I am dyslexic I can't actually code, but I understand how it works.
I'd always get those "we understand you've been in a car accident recently", obviously hoping it would just draw me in. I started replying with "no, but my aunt died in a car accident recently so I don't appreciate this" (only a half lie, it was actually many years ago). It was obvious they weren't prepared for something that serious because they'd always go silent and hang up. Only took about 3 cases of using this method before I stopped getting scam calls altogether
I have a couple. So in 2022-2023 the Medicare scammers kept calling me every time I was on my way to work. I’d answer and listen to the recording/whatever they said about Medicare and then when the agent came on the line I’d hit ‘em with “Oh, I didn’t know that I was eligible for Medicare at MY age!” all excited like. Then the agent would ask “Well how old are you?” “I’m in my thirties.” *Click*.
Whether they call me and I answer or I miss the call & call them back; I put it on mute then keep calling the same number and merging the calls until I can’t do that so they all just talk to themselves. 🤣.
I've been wanting to try my joke line but I keep getting bot calls.
"Thank you for calling Z. M. B.'s Corpse Recycling Center. If you're dyin', we're buyin'. How may I direct your call?"
I used to mess with them, but I rarely have time for that now. So instead I sincerely apologize that I don't have time to play with their scam right now. Usually that gets a few rather nice swears before they hang up. Haven't ever gotten a second call from them.
some kid in my ELA class answered a scam call by literally barking, I don't know if they stopped calling her or not
For me i got a phone call telling me my parents died in a car crash while i was in the same room as them. They were phishing for info i told the scammer its about damn time i been trying to get rid of them for months i heard them gasp then they hanged up and i didn't get anymore scam calls for a few months
No it was me but I had 30 pounds…
I started dying.
One of my favorite things to do is thank you for calling the department of fraud prevention, insert city name branch and insert fake first name and last name of our character from video game
Another fun prank to pull is when you answer one spam call and another one comes in right after, plane then on hold and connect the 2 spammers. It doesn’t always work but when it does it’s hilarious
my assistant has a Windows computer and one day she received a call from somebody asking her to type some windows command. I immediately recognized it as being particularly silly and harmless, although showing her some rather spooky information that they were going to use to try to gain her trust and install a remote tool to do bad things to her computer, I laughed at this recognizing the command for what it was and the collar told her to not listen to that guy in the background and she responded with well I kinda gotta listen to that guy in the background. He’s my boss and I’m on his network on my local Wi-Fi network at.
I once asked (in a seductive voice) "What are you wearing?"
He answered, so I asked "What kind of underwear?"
And he hung up.
I'm a master at this! One called today- I played along for a while, saying what they wanted to hear. Then, when the scammer asked for my first and last name I said: "Bob" then belched loudly. The idiot says "How do you spell that?"! So I said "B-U-R-R-P-E" and only THEN did he hang up. I plan to start recording these interactions and posting them here on TH-cam!
0:23 I heard from someone to never say “yes” to scammers
Just answer the phone: "Is it done? You don't get the other half until she's DEAD!"
They always ask for Terry (my name is not Terry). I just stopped holding back and give them an exaggerated yet still real mental breakdown. It has significantly reduced the number of scam calls I get by like 99%.
That last one was brutal
I was watching TikTok when I saw a My Hero Academia video.
Bakugo didn’t want to answer his phone, so he gave it to Midoriya.
Midoriya answered with “Roadkill cafe, you kill it we grill it, how can I help you?”
And then it was Bakugo’s mom.
I’m going to use this if I get a spam call.
Had daily robo-calls from "Amazon" saying my account security had been compromised. I don't have an Amazon account so that was obviously a scam and I kept hanging up on the robot voices. Then finally one day a person was on the other end. I interrupted her, very much annoyed by the constant calls, and firmly and with a touch of anger to my voice, said "I do not HAVE an Amazon account, you are WASTING your time." and hung up. Last I ever heard of them 🙂
My brother would sometimes, for fun, answer a spam call in a scratchy, old lady voice saying: "Cain's Cannibals: You catch 'em, We cook 'em!"
Always funny!
My momma just had to give them the look™️bless there heart they got off our computer and hung up sooo fast.😂😂😂
They couldn’t even see her
I once was getting calls once a day, and no matter what I did to block to number, they just got a new number and called again.
It seems they were legit however, b/c out of desperation, I called them up and asked to be taken off the call list, and I was.
I stopped answering my phone for unknown numbers. Took 6 moths for it to die down to one or two a week.
Not me but my Ma. She got one of those Microsoft or Amazon callers and she told them to hold on she'd call her daughter who works there. They hung up. Best part? Happened while she was chilling with her coffee crew and they each got the same caller one after another. Each one proceeded to say 'hold on, I'll contact my friend's daughter who works there' before getting hung up on. After that, none of them ever got phone calls supposedly from either company. Spoiler alert, I never once in my existence have worked for either company.
I got a phone call from a deleted phone company I said "Officer record now" then use a dog clicker and they hang up
I got a call from the, "Do Not Call Registry", so I told them not to call me again, and they didn't.
My mom got called from this bs company who wanted to sell diet pills. The seller said that he had the perfect offer just for her. She immediately put on a very sad voice and said that she had just been released from an ED clinic. Guy got caught way off guard, apologized and hung up.
I need more of these.
Got a couple of automated "you're under investigation by HMRC (tax people)" and "you're going to be arrested" stuff, until I went "that's not how any of this works, genius". None since lol
I had lots and all i did was uncontrolable sycotic screaming
Way too late.
But my retired dad has a VERY loud hi pitched whistle.
When someone called he would engage and slowly start to speak lower and lower mumbling, assuming the other oerson would be increasing their volume to hear my dad.
Then he would blow the whistle down the line .. probably blowing their eardrums.
Ya they dont get many calls anymore 🤣
Coworker of mine once got a voice-mail regarding his Kia Volt or something like that. He drives a Chevy Volt. He's been tempted to reply to a telemarker/scam with that info drgarding his cars extended warranty.
Most of the calls i get have an opener and a closer, i imagine the opener is just to take the abuse and select the scammable people, if you go along with what they say they'll send you to a closer THEY are not used to the abuse and usually get genuinely upset when they think they have a rube and all of a sudden get asked if they've ever considered a specific form of self deletion. Only get about one scam call a year now
The episode of Seinfeld when the telemarketer calls him and he's like I'm heading out but if you give me your number I'll call you back, well no sir we don't want that, well now you know how I feel has literally stook with me for life lmao I feel that in my soul
Stuck* not stook (stook isn't a word)
All these stories were hilarious but that last one took me tf out 🤫🤭🤪🥴
My bf had began answering the phone with: "*City name* Sperm Bank, you squeeze it, we freeze it, my name is Johnny and on any day ending with a Y, I can give you a 10% discount if I help you finish"
One scammer didnt hang up right away. Confusedly, the scammer asked for my bf's name while his wife (my girlfriend) (im in a poly amorous relationship with them) and I were trying hard not to laugh. My bf, still keeping up this act and talking as gayly as he could, said "*Name?* I dont recall the name, but I might have done him before..." To which the scammer hung up, causing all three of us to die of laughter
Best way to end a scam call, in my opinion
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I love those car extended warranty ones. I just tell them (the true) the make and model is a Giant Lafree e-bike.
I once had a man who was having a good time. i just put the phone down and let him get on with it. Then, one day, he called while my husband was off work. My husband decided enough was enough and said to the dude engoying yourself, "Are you?"
Haven't heard from that dude since. Some weirdo's out there, man.
Here in my city, the common one is "Kaiapoi chicken farm, you pluck 'em, we fuck 'em"
I put on a girly voice, and say that I'm 16.😂 Works like a charm🤣
Screech into the phone like a weird parrot. One even, continuous tone. I can outlast them.
Another trck is to just let it finish ringing. Don't deny the call and don't pick up.
lol I watched this and when the guy says answer with an advert for "What do you hear "distressed animal sounds" then the skip came up when I see this add on tv again I am going to record it and play it when get a scam call it should be FUN
Omg. U guys are hilarious! 🤣🤣
I asked them their supervisor's name and what city he was associated with after he tried to convince me was from Homeland Security (gave full name, badge #, and other phone#). He said he had intercepted a package addressed to me that was full of drugs and money. I'm pretty sure that would required an in-person visit.
Hand phone to a young child and say it’s 1 of Santa’s elves
My funniest one is A scam call calling me for my car extended warranty. I told them I didn’t have a car time because It was like seven years ago and I’ve only had my car for three years. They hanged up the second I said I don’t have a car.
I answered one recently and said
"My last name whore house, we got em, you buy em."
My sister just starts speaking in French. I don't speak a second language but if I did, I totally would.
"Hi. Sorry I'm whispering, the baby is asleep, I just got off a 12 hour shift."
(Whisper a thank you and goodbye)
"Sorry, the sitter just left. I'm so tired... ever since SO died I've been pulling 2 jobs. One to pay the sitter one to pay the bills."
(Whisper to self, Ah, good baby's still asleep)
"I'm so tired these days, I was kind of hoping to get a nap in before the baby woke up. What did you need?"
The guy stammered "wait, your husband is dead? Do you have family?"
I had time enough to mention my special needs sibling and being orphaned before he said "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Don't worry about anything. Go ahead and nap."
Not only did they stop calling me but almost all scam calls stopped for almost 2 years.
I still don't know how to feel about that.
I was too tired to realize it was a scam caller at first.
Me: "oh wait, what day is it today?
Them:
Me: ah right, its ::month:: right?
Them:
Me: the ::date:: (ie 18th, 26th) ?
Them:
Me: "ah right. Wow. Its the 26th already? You know this month has just flown by. It is such a challege keeping up with dates. Ever since my lawyer and the investigator told me i need to record my calls and write down time and dates to help them w my spam calls, it really does seems to be helping. Anyway, what were you calling about?"
i got many call from someone who probably mistake my number
after i politely explain to them nothing change
so i proceed to block them
now i dont get calls from them anymore
i wonder why
I have a few good ones, I am a seasoned veteran quad rider, I was practically born knowing how to ride a quad, well mine is registered as an APV so it is street legal on roads under 35mph, well when I got the "your car warranty is about to expire" scam, I told them I have a 2014 Honda rancher 400, they hung up pretty quick after that... another time I got a buddy of mine who is a hacker to trace the call and then remote format their hard drives and delete the windows kernel on their server... sometimes I will pick up and say "sex toys anderson, how may I help you with all your sex toy needs" also I should add that I am probably going to join the FBI SWAT in the next year or 2, I will probably start answering with "FBI SWAT agent hatchet, would you like to report any cult activity?" yes I will actually be busting down people's doors yelling "FBI, HANDS IN THE AIR, ON THE GROUND NOW!!!" with a M4 carbine (or a heavily modified FN FAL if they let me) in my hands... I doubt they will ever call back...
I play a video of someone reading a reddit story. They just think that someone on my end is very troubled and looking for advice.
Ooo! Oooo!! I wish I'd get the hernia recall one! I'd say in a Mickey Mouse voice: "But I feel fine!".
I get these guys call me all the time, at the moment its about electricity, they have my address but i explain to them that its an investment and put in the new address, which is the local cop shop.
When they ask for which company im with i ask them "to hold on while i look for it" i just put them on hold, longest one that went on hold was for 10 mins, they hang up and then called back and i told them i was still looking for and to wait... another 5-10 mins and they give up, until next week and i do it all over again, im too busy to mess with them.
Although in the past when it was the accident one and that i would be entitled to money i would exclaim "even though i killed the guy in the other car????" soooo much confusion on that
I usually pretend to be a nurse at a mental hospital :3
Say in my case "Police scotland' they start their scrip I repeat above they pause hang up then call back suddenly no more calls
I need to start queuing up gay spicy videos for the related audio😈😈
I'd like to learn some vulgar insults in Hindi so when 'Tom" or 'John' from 'Visa Security' call, I can ask (in Hindi) if their mother still does it with buffalo.
10:11 As an arch user, I wish microsoft or apple tech support scammers would call me only for this same thing to happen. Linux is awesome!
You just mess with them every time they call and eventually your number gets added to a no call list. You can't ask to be put on this list and different scam centers usually each have their own lists that sometimes get shared over whatsapp group chats they all use. I personally go with the classic 'pretend to be an old lady' gimic and lead them on for however long I feel like until I get bored or need to do something else, then switch back to my normal mid 30's male voice and laugh at them for having wasted their time. Bonus point for keeping them on the line as long as possible because the longer they are with you who isn't falling for the scam they less time they have for people who might actually fall for it.
TL:DR - be annoying AF and waste their time every time they call and eventually it dies off
I kept asking them how to change a cars tire
I told them I had died. only one place called back. so 4/5 success rate
I just tell them I killed myself. Never get a call back
I just answer the phone by saying blank police department how can I help you? thenthen they immediately hang up and never call me again
I get text spam sometimes, my response is always as follows:
Re: Msg & Data Rates May Apply.
This correspondence may be reviewed as part of an
Investigation Report of Fraudulent
Activity by the Federal Trade Commission, and submitted to the Federal Communications Commission for verification Purposes.
Reply (1) In Order To Proceed Reply (2) To STOP
Me after getting a live person on the phone:
"hang on, my other phone is ringing, ill hit mute but ill just be a second"
Dont hit mute, just put phone down, act like answering other phone, then proceed to talk to (fake phone) in a real serious boss like tone, on "i cant blv you just did that!, ok look, you need to buy duck tape, a tarp, a recip saw, and bleach and not all at the same place.And that evthg needs to be cleaned up in 4 hours and big bobby will be by to help. And dont worry, no one will miss them. And ill have lil johnny and ricky to do the digging. and theres nothing to worry about. Its all ok." Then say bye. And wait about 20 seconds, and yell oh $/_
I got a phone call at the same time every night after the 8th night I flat out told them I know gang member that could track them down and make it so thay physically could not call any ever agin I knew none that could do that it was 3 in the morning and I was sick of being woken up i am not a early morning person and I may have been half asleep I didn’t even rember saying that till 4 mounths later when one of my friends started to complain about being woken up early in the morning for several days
Don’t answer. Don’t talk to them.
Me? I prattle on about nonsense, I'm very good at it and I rarely get calls anymore. The hubby? He used to work at a now defunct government agency and he starts off with the ( ) intro, if they've made it that far he gives his name and something like, this is ( ) what it is it that you need assistance with? He rarely gets calls as well and we definitely don't get repeat calls.
As soon as you pick up, before you say hello, say "This call is monitered for quality assurance and training purposes." Then put on some terrible music and walk away.
If you want to know how I got rid of them, I'll have you know that I used a sacred technique not well-known!
It's called hurling profanities!
I used to let my kids answer
What game
Game name?
In the most fake sounding Indian accent, pretend to be an Indian restaurant and ask to take their order.
my favorite is "Paul's Pizza and Abortion, where yesterdays loss is todays sauce."
Some yall responses are morbid
I just act thick af. Can you confirm your home address.
Sorry, im choosing to be homeless next week, or i say im sorry I forgot. Can you tell me my address? You must have it on your pc. Please. They usually hang up after a bit.
WHEN DID I GET A FREE CAR??
I have such fun with these. Frustrated landscaper waiting on my new lawnmower, old man who can't find his glasses and a pen, an Armoury sergeant on a RAF base. I should have recorded them.
My favorite:
'Calling regarding your car accident' cold call. I've had these calls before and the response was usually a blast on a referees whistle, not this time, I had some fun.
'Which car?' Didn't lie, I have three.
'I can't divulge that information under the data protection act.' Utter bullshit, I studied said act in college.
'A number plate is public even though I am the owner of said plate. How about a make, model and colour?'
'Data protection act, I can't tell you.' I can now hear background noises.
'So you can't clarify the details of an accident that I claimed for and supposedly submitted said details, of which being of my car, the car I hit and where it happened that I gave to your company in good confidence for the purposes of making a claim.'
'Yes...thats correct.'
'Good. Which car?'
'Oh fuck off, Princess!'
'Get a better scripted writter, Anthony!'
'How the fuck?'
'I can hear your Mum in the background, she proud of you?' *click*
Never had another call.
Farted a rather wet sounding one into the phone. Been over a decade and have not heard from that solar panel seller.
All my spam calls are robo calls. Half of them go straight to my voicemail... I haven't gotten to harass the duct guys in months 😭 No, but fr, how am I supposed to get them to stop calling if they're using auto-diallers?
Not me but my Ma. She got one of those Microsoft or Amazon callers and she told them to hold on she'd call her daughter who works there. They hung up. Best part? Happened while she was chilling with her coffee crew and they each got the same caller one after another. Each one proceeded to say 'hold on, I'll contact my friend's daughter who works there' before getting hung up on. After that, none of them ever got phone calls supposedly from either company. Spoiler alert, I never once in my existence have worked for either company.