Thank you Imi and Eric for your discussion today. There were so many topics which could be explored in more depth in the future. I hope Eric can come back.
Oh thanks Imi. I enjoyed it when you touched upon the bigger picture, quantum physics and depth ecology and tied it in with the individual healing work, i.e individuals mostly disconnected from their bodies ( where the unconscious wounds are operating) and humanity's destructive impulses; On an inner level, dealing with the aloneness from being more authentic. The luminal space where the old structures no longer work for us. As Eric said, as we heal and connect to disowned parts, and we learn to be more authentically ourselves and start to heal the self alienation, that sets up challenges in relationships which had been built upon only the acceptable parts showing up, for example, the appeasing aspects of personality. Eric talked about the environment may not be receptive ( which is why our inner children used clever adaptations in the first place). Hence, the grief of realising our unconscious self betrayal. How to sit with that grief and not give up. More discussion on those issues would be great. Hope all that makes sense.. Thanks Imi 🙏
Imi and Eric, thank you so much for doing this interview! I'm a man and find myself referring quite often to Imi's blog because I recognize enough of the elements. I always got the sense the blog was aimed more at women (which would make sense btw). So, it's refreshing to see a man featured. I can relate to the loneliness. There simply aren't many people I naturally vibe with. It's something that I became more aware of with age. It's always been my hope to find a romantic partner who could bridge that, understand me. It's not easy but being an optimist I assume it will happen some day :) I always had a hard time fitting into the corporate world. The "switch off your brain and do as you're told, have no purpose larger than yourself, and pretend pretend pretend for the sake of your career prospects" is the opposite of my true nature. Trying my hand at starting my own business right now, I don't know if it will work out (there are very few people in the world who have achieved it) but I'm drawn by the appeal of being able to follow my own judgement, and not having to work in an environment that feels so dumb and hypocritic. For anyone struggling in their career, look up FIRE (financial independence). It's about taking the power back and is a life saver.
Thanks for the heads-up, Imi! p.s. So I advocated FIRE in my last comment. I'd like to add something: I do not advocate giving up on trying to have a great worklife. FIRE is just a backup plan, it means investing money that would normally go to pleasure, into resilience.
Good point and I concur ⭐️ Minimalist Lifestyle, Financial Freedom and the Unconventional Life (Unabridged)- Gabe Bult, Imi Lo th-cam.com/video/VvxoGtdlPNM/w-d-xo.html
I think that's a very interesting point to consider if being sensitive and gifted is neurodivergence. Many people with these traits also have ADHD. But there is definitely a depth of processing that is noticed by others and not always accepted. And it's not something we can change. I think we can, as HSPs, flex to fit into the world but we need to accept ourselves first and recognise our limitations. For instance, busy fast-paced environments will ruin our nervous systems. So we must avoid such territory. Maybe our destiny is to experience pain, rejection, sadness, loss, courage, challenge more than others so that we heal ourselves and in some form of therapy heal others.
It’s forever controversial but I do consider it a form of neurodivergence. I love your message and especially the last bit. It’s beautiful and inspiring!!
Imo Lo!!!! I absolutely love the way you go about your research and your process into everything that you care about. I've read both of your books and they're so relatable probably more so than any book I've ever read before. I just wanted to say thank you! It's like you understand it all.
Aww thank you!!!! This makes me so so happy you have no idea. There are many many things I still have to improve on (like not interrupting my guests!!!) but I am grateful that I still feel excited and curious about many things 💛💛💛 thank you for your support!!
Raise✋🤚 Spend so So much time looking into me. There is still this feeling of failure being a 50 year old woman. Simply because you're looking around seeing all the other people who are extremely sensitive or gifted and they have conquered or have learned how to become successful and function in the world. Where is I feel like I've spent my whole life trying to figure out who I am and how to be who I am. I'm quite aware of it all now, it's just somehow processing it in my head on a daily basis. Like my creativity has come back but there's still this lost side of me that I can't explain it. I still don't feel like I belong here even though I know what parts are good inside of me. How you mentioned ourselves now and our future selves. I feel like this future self I'm supposed to be is to learn how to be independent and that is something I have been working on for along time but Independence doesn't necessarily mean a life alone with no friends or people to connect with. I'm not talking about on the internet. I don't believe the people that formed the rules in society wanted us to have any answers about the differences we have as human beings. Maybe it gave us too much power as individuals I'm not sure. This is the reason the labels have been created and almost have to be used at times. I still have people telling me how I need to be and who I need to be. It has made me very cold at times and very wary of anyone being truthful in this world.
At minute 14:10 Eric says “we are all victims of this oppressive system.” Eric has used the word victim in his most recent interview on this site in how he describes his and our relationship with society. I strongly encourage people to avoid adopting this type of narrative. It is very healthy and good to give voice to your hurt and to seek to understand and describe how you were hurt but adopting the label of victim can cause many complex problems with coming to terms with your hurt. One of the major problems is that when we label ourselves victims we often experience anger at the thing we say is victimizing us. Anger is a very useful emotion for getting us to protect ourselves but it keeps us in a state of fight or flight. Fighting or fleeing are not normally good long term solutions. And it it is unrealistic often to fight or flee from something like society. People do but it is a very difficult life that involves many sacrifices. Changing society is often the more productive and rewarding approach and it is difficult to effect change when you are angry. There is another video on this site where the guest talks about feeling like a different type of primate than the people around him. He acknowledges the great pain he feels being in systems not designed for him such as when he was young and going through the education system. This narrative expresses the great amount of hurt he experienced and describes why without placing blame or labeling himself a victim. It is a very productive narrative for these reasons and I encourage people drawn to viewing themselves as a victim as a gifted person in society to explore this type of narrative as an alternative to a victim narrative and see if it better meets your needs. I’ll note that Eric talks before this point in the video of not liking labels and not liking to put labels on himself. I suspect if he reflects on his labeling of himself as a victim he will realize he doesn’t want to adopt this label either.
This really resonates, Eric's way of seeing the world seems to be very similar to mine. Talking of delving deeply, I think I've identified one key dynamic in our society that is keeping the old stigmas against sensitive men alive. One legacy of homophobia is that men adapted by reserving behaviours that were perceived as "gay", e.g. compassion, affection, physical contact other than handshakes, only for female partners. Over time this has resulted in the behaviours often being sexualised, and in men's reserving them only for their partners becoming taken for granted as part of monogamy. As a result, "acting feminine/gay" continues to be considered sexually suspect, even though actually being gay isn't as stigmatised as it used to be, and so men continue to be boxed into relying on a partner for all human intimacy. It's a very tall order to expect one person to be able to meet all of a man's emotional needs, and especially in the case of highly sensitive, emotionally intense men. I've generally found that if I am reliant on one person, I end up having to suppress my sensitivity and intensity and accept some degree of loneliness to avoid overwhelming them. I'm not quite 40 yet, but I'll be 40 in a few months' time, and I, too, often get told that I look young for my age. I've spent a lot of my life trying to "be the change I want to see", but I am often held back by great fear and anxiety, especially with the continued warnings that if I seek any sort of human intimacy, or deep, intense conversations, or share empathy or compassion outside of my immediate nuclear family or a romantic relationship, I risk being tarnished by association with the kind of badly behaved men that we see in #MeToo cases. And that's on top of being seen as weak, effeminate, childish, incompetent, not manly enough etc. My sense of being alone, isolated, alienated and misunderstood is exacerbated by my peers denying that I am in this position, and saying things like, "Just be yourself. Things are changing, today's society accepts sensitive men." I wanted to share these insights from another highly sensitive gifted man's perspective because I am keen to contribute to furthering awareness and understanding of these issues.
I think you raised so many important points here Ian, in relation to being a sensitive man in this world. I'm a woman but can see that being sensitive though not easier as such is definitely more accepted by society in women currently.
I wanted to come back to ask if anyone else has found supportive places online or IRL for men to process the issues Ian raised? Asking for a wonderful sensitive man in my life.
Great talk. Eric, just by the way you speak and your mannerisms, I know I can relate to you. I'm a gifted adult, asynchronous, never fit in at school, don't really fit into society now. I have that whole thing going, too. I'm also 40 and people tell me I look younger lol.
I highly resonate with Eric and his story - we have a similar awareness of many things - unfortunately i don't believe i have the capacity to manage it within myself. I entered the disintegration stage a while ago not understanding what it was and not knowing who to go to for support. It's scary that i may have gotten stuck at a lower level and my experiences with the "mental" health industry have only made it worse.
thank you. I was given a link to Dabrowskis theory of Existential Depression and Gifted Children/Adults a number of years ago by a counsellor during one of my darkest times. It was the first time that things made sense and linked to many spiritual concepts that I'd become aware of. Unfortunately for insurance purposes I was given the label of personality disorder. That and an ongoing battle with the insurance company hasn't helped matters. I wasn't able to apply the knowledge or get positive support to integrate any of it.
Loved this conversation - would like to see more of him. Some constructive criticism - there were moments where he was interrupted in mid sentence - and I really wanted him to finish his thoughts. Felt frustrating around the 24 minute mark. I got the feeling that he is treated like a patient being questioned instead of listened to. It disrupted the flow and he looked uncomfortable. Still I enjoy the content - thank you.
Thank you for the constructive criticism. Yes I sometimes get overexcited and really want to chime in 🤦🏻♀️ I think next time I will write it down to combat the anxiety that the thought will slip away. Thank you 💙
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching thanks for modelling taking on that feedback so well, Imi. ❤️ I too can get overexcited and interrupt others in conversations.. work in progress!! & despite that, I got soooo much from this. I think partly from how you were both being, as well as the actual conversation.
Thank you - I cringed hard when I wrote this feedback because I felt shame for wanting to mention a criticism - I’m trying to do that and not feel like a bad person :) you all responded so nicely and didn’t get offended. I’ve listened to your content for a long time and will continue to do so. Thank you Imi
Eric, I wanted to share a thought I had (I hope you'll see this). I heard you say that you rarely feel that others are able to connect with you and understand you (and you didn't seem too happy about it). It struck me how little emotion/expressiveness you showed on your face during this whole interview, even as you're talking about things that are clearly dear to your heart. It seems the mask is not fully off yet. (That said, I know from my own experience it's near impossible to change patterns we've practiced since childhood). Here's my thought: if you were able to share your reality with more expressiveness, I wonder if perhaps people would be better able to relate to you... Perhaps checking with them if they have experienced XYZ as well... That being said, I think I do these things but it's not like I feel fully understood by the world; it seems people can't relate to anything too different from themselves, and people like you and me who are a bit different will pay a little bit of a loneliness price. But we can narrow the gap by making ourselves as relatable to them as possible. Anyway, I hope you don't mind my non-sollicited advice on a very personal matter... I just thought I shouldn't withhold this idea from you. Perhaps you find it helpful.
I think you are picking up on the signs that Eric is still in the process of reaching peace and acceptance with the challenges he is facing. And he is and still clearly has a lot of raw unprocessed hurt that at time triggers anger for him. I’m glad he is willing to share his journey but I’m also glad that some posts I’ve seen like yours show people are picking up on the fact that he has a lot of unresolved issues he is still in the process of working through. For yourself I want to give a little feedback to what you said about being more relatable to others and people not understanding people different from them. A younger me felt this way often and put a lot of energy into being more relatable to others. But it exhausted me and still left me lonely. An alternative is cultivating patience. Being authentic with others but being patient with them understanding you is often very effective. I find often that when people first respond to me they misunderstand me but over time they do develop an authentic understanding and appreciation for me. Being able to be patient enough with people to be authentic with them without expectations of how they will respond creates the opportunity for this. But most of all it is not exhausting and allows for me to enjoy myself with others regardless of if they validate me or not. Please be open to the idea that you may have options to connect genuinely with others that you have yet to discover. Pealed also be open to the idea that others can come to understand others different than them when given opportunities and enough time. Please continue to give voice to the loneliness you feel now but don’t give into accepting loneliness as an unchanging constant. Many gifted people give into the notion that they will never be understood and be forever lonely and this is sad. I’m not saying you are doing this and I certainly see you are telling Eric about ways that he may be able to connect with others indicating your optimism in being able to connect with others. I just hope you consider flexibility with the idea that others can’t understand people different from them and that there are ways to connect that don’t necessitate expending effort to make yourself more relatable. When I was younger I was very inflexible with these premises and was fortunate to have become more flexible.
Deeply want more of you two talking. Don’t think I’ve ever heard something this relatable in my life.
Thank you for your encouraging comment!’ I feel the same way 🥰
Imi, it's always great to see you. Thank you for introducing me to Eric's work in this conversation. Looking forward to more!
More to come!
Thank you, both of you. That was the most relatable thing that I have ever come across in my entire life.
Oh that’s an incredible comment.. thank you 🙏 makes my day x
Thank you Imi and Eric for your discussion today. There were so many topics which could be explored in more depth in the future. I hope Eric can come back.
I agree! What particular topics would you like to hear more of? I will make sure to take note
Oh thanks Imi.
I enjoyed it when you touched upon the bigger picture, quantum physics and depth ecology and tied it in with the individual healing work, i.e individuals mostly disconnected from their bodies ( where the unconscious wounds are operating) and humanity's destructive impulses;
On an inner level, dealing with the aloneness from being more authentic. The luminal space where the old structures no longer work for us.
As Eric said, as we heal and connect to disowned parts, and we learn to be more authentically ourselves and start to heal the self alienation, that sets up challenges in relationships which had been built upon only the acceptable parts showing up, for example, the appeasing aspects of personality.
Eric talked about the environment may not be receptive ( which is why our inner children used clever adaptations in the first place).
Hence, the grief of realising our unconscious self betrayal. How to sit with that grief and not give up. More discussion on those issues would be great.
Hope all that makes sense.. Thanks Imi 🙏
Note taken and will share with Eric!@@leoniphelan5278
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching Thanks so much 🙏
Imi and Eric, thank you so much for doing this interview! I'm a man and find myself referring quite often to Imi's blog because I recognize enough of the elements. I always got the sense the blog was aimed more at women (which would make sense btw). So, it's refreshing to see a man featured.
I can relate to the loneliness. There simply aren't many people I naturally vibe with. It's something that I became more aware of with age. It's always been my hope to find a romantic partner who could bridge that, understand me. It's not easy but being an optimist I assume it will happen some day :)
I always had a hard time fitting into the corporate world. The "switch off your brain and do as you're told, have no purpose larger than yourself, and pretend pretend pretend for the sake of your career prospects" is the opposite of my true nature. Trying my hand at starting my own business right now, I don't know if it will work out (there are very few people in the world who have achieved it) but I'm drawn by the appeal of being able to follow my own judgement, and not having to work in an environment that feels so dumb and hypocritic.
For anyone struggling in their career, look up FIRE (financial independence). It's about taking the power back and is a life saver.
Thank you for your comment and sharing! Huge fan of FIRE here too 🔥
I interviewed someone about it just a few episodes ago!
Thanks for the heads-up, Imi!
p.s. So I advocated FIRE in my last comment. I'd like to add something: I do not advocate giving up on trying to have a great worklife. FIRE is just a backup plan, it means investing money that would normally go to pleasure, into resilience.
Good point and I concur ⭐️
Minimalist Lifestyle, Financial Freedom and the Unconventional Life (Unabridged)- Gabe Bult, Imi Lo
th-cam.com/video/VvxoGtdlPNM/w-d-xo.html
I think that's a very interesting point to consider if being sensitive and gifted is neurodivergence. Many people with these traits also have ADHD. But there is definitely a depth of processing that is noticed by others and not always accepted. And it's not something we can change.
I think we can, as HSPs, flex to fit into the world but we need to accept ourselves first and recognise our limitations. For instance, busy fast-paced environments will ruin our nervous systems. So we must avoid such territory.
Maybe our destiny is to experience pain, rejection, sadness, loss, courage, challenge more than others so that we heal ourselves and in some form of therapy heal others.
It’s forever controversial but I do consider it a form of neurodivergence. I love your message and especially the last bit. It’s beautiful and inspiring!!
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching it would be so nice if it was and I certainly think it should be.
Thank you for your kind feedback 😊
@@munkami that last sentence! 👆 Exactly what I have been pondering recently in relation to my own work with clients and my personal journey.
Imo Lo!!!! I absolutely love the way you go about your research and your process into everything that you care about. I've read both of your books and they're so relatable probably more so than any book I've ever read before. I just wanted to say thank you! It's like you understand it all.
Aww thank you!!!! This makes me so so happy you have no idea. There are many many things I still have to improve on (like not interrupting my guests!!!) but I am grateful that I still feel excited and curious about many things 💛💛💛 thank you for your support!!
Eric is a great guy, and this was a fascinating conversation!
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. I have loved it too
You're welcome!
Thank you. Very interesting and enlightening discussion.
Our pleasure! Thank you for your comment!!
Raise✋🤚 Spend so So much time looking into me. There is still this feeling of failure being a 50 year old woman. Simply because you're looking around seeing all the other people who are extremely sensitive or gifted and they have conquered or have learned how to become successful and function in the world. Where is I feel like I've spent my whole life trying to figure out who I am and how to be who I am. I'm quite aware of it all now, it's just somehow processing it in my head on a daily basis. Like my creativity has come back but there's still this lost side of me that I can't explain it. I still don't feel like I belong here even though I know what parts are good inside of me. How you mentioned ourselves now and our future selves. I feel like this future self I'm supposed to be is to learn how to be independent and that is something I have been working on for along time but Independence doesn't necessarily mean a life alone with no friends or people to connect with. I'm not talking about on the internet. I don't believe the people that formed the rules in society wanted us to have any answers about the differences we have as human beings. Maybe it gave us too much power as individuals I'm not sure. This is the reason the labels have been created and almost have to be used at times. I still have people telling me how I need to be and who I need to be. It has made me very cold at times and very wary of anyone being truthful in this world.
At minute 14:10 Eric says “we are all victims of this oppressive system.” Eric has used the word victim in his most recent interview on this site in how he describes his and our relationship with society.
I strongly encourage people to avoid adopting this type of narrative. It is very healthy and good to give voice to your hurt and to seek to understand and describe how you were hurt but adopting the label of victim can cause many complex problems with coming to terms with your hurt.
One of the major problems is that when we label ourselves victims we often experience anger at the thing we say is victimizing us. Anger is a very useful emotion for getting us to protect ourselves but it keeps us in a state of fight or flight. Fighting or fleeing are not normally good long term solutions. And it it is unrealistic often to fight or flee from something like society. People do but it is a very difficult life that involves many sacrifices. Changing society is often the more productive and rewarding approach and it is difficult to effect change when you are angry.
There is another video on this site where the guest talks about feeling like a different type of primate than the people around him. He acknowledges the great pain he feels being in systems not designed for him such as when he was young and going through the education system. This narrative expresses the great amount of hurt he experienced and describes why without placing blame or labeling himself a victim. It is a very productive narrative for these reasons and I encourage people drawn to viewing themselves as a victim as a gifted person in society to explore this type of narrative as an alternative to a victim narrative and see if it better meets your needs.
I’ll note that Eric talks before this point in the video of not liking labels and not liking to put labels on himself. I suspect if he reflects on his labeling of himself as a victim he will realize he doesn’t want to adopt this label either.
Thank you for your thoughtful and well-articulated response to Eric's use of the word "victim."
Hi thank u Imi for all the amzing gold you're putting out for us to see, it's really helpful for me as a sensitive guy 🥰💖
🤗I am so so glad!!! Thank you for your comment
This really resonates, Eric's way of seeing the world seems to be very similar to mine.
Talking of delving deeply, I think I've identified one key dynamic in our society that is keeping the old stigmas against sensitive men alive. One legacy of homophobia is that men adapted by reserving behaviours that were perceived as "gay", e.g. compassion, affection, physical contact other than handshakes, only for female partners. Over time this has resulted in the behaviours often being sexualised, and in men's reserving them only for their partners becoming taken for granted as part of monogamy. As a result, "acting feminine/gay" continues to be considered sexually suspect, even though actually being gay isn't as stigmatised as it used to be, and so men continue to be boxed into relying on a partner for all human intimacy. It's a very tall order to expect one person to be able to meet all of a man's emotional needs, and especially in the case of highly sensitive, emotionally intense men. I've generally found that if I am reliant on one person, I end up having to suppress my sensitivity and intensity and accept some degree of loneliness to avoid overwhelming them.
I'm not quite 40 yet, but I'll be 40 in a few months' time, and I, too, often get told that I look young for my age. I've spent a lot of my life trying to "be the change I want to see", but I am often held back by great fear and anxiety, especially with the continued warnings that if I seek any sort of human intimacy, or deep, intense conversations, or share empathy or compassion outside of my immediate nuclear family or a romantic relationship, I risk being tarnished by association with the kind of badly behaved men that we see in #MeToo cases. And that's on top of being seen as weak, effeminate, childish, incompetent, not manly enough etc. My sense of being alone, isolated, alienated and misunderstood is exacerbated by my peers denying that I am in this position, and saying things like, "Just be yourself. Things are changing, today's society accepts sensitive men."
I wanted to share these insights from another highly sensitive gifted man's perspective because I am keen to contribute to furthering awareness and understanding of these issues.
Thank you for sharing your insights
I think you raised so many important points here Ian, in relation to being a sensitive man in this world. I'm a woman but can see that being sensitive though not easier as such is definitely more accepted by society in women currently.
I wanted to come back to ask if anyone else has found supportive places online or IRL for men to process the issues Ian raised? Asking for a wonderful sensitive man in my life.
Great talk. Eric, just by the way you speak and your mannerisms, I know I can relate to you. I'm a gifted adult, asynchronous, never fit in at school, don't really fit into society now. I have that whole thing going, too. I'm also 40 and people tell me I look younger lol.
I highly resonate with Eric and his story - we have a similar awareness of many things - unfortunately i don't believe i have the capacity to manage it within myself. I entered the disintegration stage a while ago not understanding what it was and not knowing who to go to for support. It's scary that i may have gotten stuck at a lower level and my experiences with the "mental" health industry have only made it worse.
I am so sorry to hear about your experience :(
I will invite Eric back to speak about disintegration and positive disintegration..!
thank you. I was given a link to Dabrowskis theory of Existential Depression and Gifted Children/Adults a number of years ago by a counsellor during one of my darkest times. It was the first time that things made sense and linked to many spiritual concepts that I'd become aware of. Unfortunately for insurance purposes I was given the label of personality disorder. That and an ongoing battle with the insurance company hasn't helped matters. I wasn't able to apply the knowledge or get positive support to integrate any of it.
Loved this conversation - would like to see more of him. Some constructive criticism - there were moments where he was interrupted in mid sentence - and I really wanted him to finish his thoughts. Felt frustrating around the 24 minute mark. I got the feeling that he is treated like a patient being questioned instead of listened to. It disrupted the flow and he looked uncomfortable. Still I enjoy the content - thank you.
Thank you for the constructive criticism. Yes I sometimes get overexcited and really want to chime in 🤦🏻♀️ I think next time I will write it down to combat the anxiety that the thought will slip away.
Thank you 💙
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching Haha, I interrupt too (a lot more than Imi) and it's indeed because I'm so excited to chime in.
😁😁😁 thank you for your empathy hehe
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching thanks for modelling taking on that feedback so well, Imi. ❤️ I too can get overexcited and interrupt others in conversations.. work in progress!! & despite that, I got soooo much from this. I think partly from how you were both being, as well as the actual conversation.
Thank you - I cringed hard when I wrote this feedback because I felt shame for wanting to mention a criticism - I’m trying to do that and not feel like a bad person :) you all responded so nicely and didn’t get offended. I’ve listened to your content for a long time and will continue to do so. Thank you Imi
Eric, I wanted to share a thought I had (I hope you'll see this). I heard you say that you rarely feel that others are able to connect with you and understand you (and you didn't seem too happy about it). It struck me how little emotion/expressiveness you showed on your face during this whole interview, even as you're talking about things that are clearly dear to your heart. It seems the mask is not fully off yet. (That said, I know from my own experience it's near impossible to change patterns we've practiced since childhood). Here's my thought: if you were able to share your reality with more expressiveness, I wonder if perhaps people would be better able to relate to you... Perhaps checking with them if they have experienced XYZ as well... That being said, I think I do these things but it's not like I feel fully understood by the world; it seems people can't relate to anything too different from themselves, and people like you and me who are a bit different will pay a little bit of a loneliness price. But we can narrow the gap by making ourselves as relatable to them as possible. Anyway, I hope you don't mind my non-sollicited advice on a very personal matter... I just thought I shouldn't withhold this idea from you. Perhaps you find it helpful.
I think you are picking up on the signs that Eric is still in the process of reaching peace and acceptance with the challenges he is facing. And he is and still clearly has a lot of raw unprocessed hurt that at time triggers anger for him.
I’m glad he is willing to share his journey but I’m also glad that some posts I’ve seen like yours show people are picking up on the fact that he has a lot of unresolved issues he is still in the process of working through.
For yourself I want to give a little feedback to what you said about being more relatable to others and people not understanding people different from them.
A younger me felt this way often and put a lot of energy into being more relatable to others. But it exhausted me and still left me lonely.
An alternative is cultivating patience. Being authentic with others but being patient with them understanding you is often very effective. I find often that when people first respond to me they misunderstand me but over time they do develop an authentic understanding and appreciation for me. Being able to be patient enough with people to be authentic with them without expectations of how they will respond creates the opportunity for this. But most of all it is not exhausting and allows for me to enjoy myself with others regardless of if they validate me or not.
Please be open to the idea that you may have options to connect genuinely with others that you have yet to discover. Pealed also be open to the idea that others can come to understand others different than them when given opportunities and enough time.
Please continue to give voice to the loneliness you feel now but don’t give into accepting loneliness as an unchanging constant.
Many gifted people give into the notion that they will never be understood and be forever lonely and this is sad.
I’m not saying you are doing this and I certainly see you are telling Eric about ways that he may be able to connect with others indicating your optimism in being able to connect with others.
I just hope you consider flexibility with the idea that others can’t understand people different from them and that there are ways to connect that don’t necessitate expending effort to make yourself more relatable.
When I was younger I was very inflexible with these premises and was fortunate to have become more flexible.