Narcissists are AGGRESSIVE. Don't Poke Them on Purpose.

[@simplysavvylife]

this is great content , I hope Dr. Rhoberta is doing okay - and knows even if /when she leaves this platform her influence with perspectives of understanding and healing is/will be known and remembered and has had a meaningful impact. Don't mean to sound morbid but since I've been watching this dear mentor over time, she seems to be struggling and I'm not always here , just want her to know...❤

[@cyndigooch1162]

@simplysavvy0113 I hope Dr Shaler is doing okay as well and I'm aware that people don't have to disclose personal information, so didn't know whether to mention it, or not.
I'm extremely tired at present though and might post something when I'm feeling better since it's not the best time to make decisions. 😊

[@dolly2809]

I never realized how messed up he was. I am now 65 and he has become physically violent after 46 years. He has stolen all our money and assets. I wish I had understood.

[@lorrainenicoletti6232]

Thank you Doctor Shaler,
Even with all the work to understand years of books and multiple therapists it only became clear, recently, like the only special key that opened the secret door to the mystery of this . These other people that rule the world. Malignant Narcissist .U Tube opened the door. . You and other Doctors who lived it, know it and put Narcissism
help for victims who lived it for decades silently.
I wish I understood why it took this long for it to come out of the closet and into the mainstream. And even now my mother , 94, sister who ignores me in this mental game to hurt me, my brother power and control
As power of attorney ,the whole mess of pain. I feel like i woke up into a science fiction nightmare . This reality is just as frightening as being the asleep victim!
And i see them every where
This is the play of good and evil playing in the guise of “normal” sometimes very black like the family dynamic i grew up and still in . 70 yrs.
And guess what its so shocking , i still doubt i am getting it right.

[@minnae.1747]

How exciting to get a reply from you, Dr. Shaler! You have a very good memory on who has commented before and who hasn't! :)

[@ruthslater6364]

OMG YOU HAVE DISCRIBED MY HUSBAND PERFECTLY. ITS HORRIBLE. HOW CAN YOU KNOW SO PERFECTLY ????

[@Kim-tx3pb]

This really describes my dad - an underlying aggression that he focuses on certain others who don't tow his line. He has focused on me for the last three years as I mentioned his sister two times when he had told me 7 years earlier not to. He has mentioned her though but that doesn't count. On analysing what his sister did - nothing. Her husband apparently did something to the other sister before they married but no-one ever told her. So his punishing of her over the last 65 yrs is about nothing she did - and now me for just mentioning her name. He told me not long ago when he wanted to contact my son (as apart from that he has not replied or contacted me for the three years), that his apathy toward me still exists - and I know precisely why. Like I'm supposed to feel guilty and anxious over who knows what has gone on in his head - like you described. I can see it so clearly now - thanks to videos like these. I was always anxious and walking on egg shells whenever I contacted him - via email as I live overseas, wondering if he would get offended by something i had written. Anyway, i like your videos as I can really see stuff in them. I hope you really know to your core that you are someone precious. Whatever you have going on with your health - and it doesn't look good from out here - know that you have helped. They rob you of feeling good about yourself. Its good to see it.

[@patriciahilburn3303]

I have a daughter like this and I just recently learned she's a covert narcissist. Punishing and controlling with punishing and I don't even know half the time what I've done. I've just learned some of it from her friend. Our grandson is in the hospital and almost died and she didn't want us to know. We have helped her over and over again. She and her husband and 3 kids lived with us for 9 months while they built their house. My husband installed all their flooring (that's what he does for a living) and for free. She is so disrespectful, rude and entitled. She has all sorts of complaints about me, basically it comes down to I'm just not good enough, can't do exactly what she wants and I'm suppose to read her mind. She makes up stuff. I believe she is also jealous that the grandchildren love us so much they even call me mom in front of her. After a brutal verbal abusive rant by her overt Christian narcissistic friend (it was so bad I'm still trying to get over it) I found out our daughters complaints, not from our daughter, but her friend. I took it as long as I could until I called them out on their mothering skills and now we are being more punished by not being allowed to see the grandchildren. It's exhausting. I honestly do not know what to do, how to do it, what to say, what not too say because everything I do is wrong. Even my dog is hated.

[@Kim-tx3pb]

@@patriciahilburn3303 Sounds terrible. But to criticise them - even if what you are saying is correct, is like a red flag to a bull. It brings out all of the punitive behaviour. With my dad I had been trying my hardest not to put a foot wrong since my mum died two years earlier because when she was around and in her last year, I went to visit with my husband and my son. My dad totally ignored me for an unknown reason. I asked him one day when he was alone and he said I was cornering him and he didn't have to explain hmself to anyone. I assume in retrospect that he had heard my mum complaining to me about him and sometimes I supported her and said the odd thing. He either heard us skyping, read an email to her secret address or she told him something. I'll never know but he kept in the background and just ignored us but made it known there was a problem. So I had been trying my hardest and it seems when you do that thing and you don't know what it will be they punish again. All you can do is grey rock with them if you have contact. Nothing personal and no comments about anything they have done. really you have to make conversations and contact so bland that there is nothing they can sink their teeth into. But even then there is no guarantee - as Dr Shaler said they have stuff going on in their mind that has nothing to do with reality. I think underneath it all is a miserable person with a fragile ego who wants to blame the outside world for all their problems and having you to blame exonerates her for having anything to do with it - and gives her fragile ego a lift up because in a weird way the grudge gives them a false sense of power. It sucks to have to put up with this kind of behaviour but what can you do. I sometimes feel like it goes round and round in my head almost every day, even though I don't ever see him - so that is where I have to start. Seeing this behaviour helps as I was left feeling like I must have done something. Also, not keep thinking about what I could say that might change things as nothing will work, they don't want to give you any power, they always have to have the upper hand. I try not to think about it - its hard but thinking about it just reinforces it in my mind. At the same time understanding it helps to let go - so its á weird one. I hope you find a way to have some peace of mind amongst it - - accepting it is out of your control or whatever it takes.

[@bonniekesic8040]

Just found you. I was in a relationship for 14 years. You have no idea what I went thru. Thank you for explaining all this.

[@nancysmyth9686]

God Bless you, Dr. Shaler.

[@lindalonsbury5362]

Sorry I missed this live. ❤

[@tanyagreene5003]

This is awesome content. It has really helped me alot!

[@pattyrooney1323]

I grew up in that chaos. It is real hell being a scapegoat. Spot on content. Thank you!

[@insiteandawareness3500]

I have a boss that is a hyjackall. Others at work say this is how she is and I say well that's not professional and I find a unbecoming for a manager. I'm going to be glad when she returns to dayshift and isn't filling in for the more agreeable managers.

[@maryjaneshippen3815]

Dear Dr. Shaler, thank you for your gentle explanations, making it easier for me to look at the abuse from my parents. It was called discipline in the 50's. Just the word "abuse" was never considered until the last 10 years and it was almost sacrilegious to defame our parents' character by using that adjective. But now it is called narcissistic behavior. I see how I have mirrored their actions toward my children. And my children do it to their children. And now to me, the stupid, needy, useless nana. You have helped me realize how their behavior toward me is traced back many generations. I intend to regain my self respect before I die and give myself love and kindness again from within.
Regarding the respiratory problem:
Have you heard about the book "Super Gut" by Dr. William Davis? There is a strain of probiotic you can culture to therapeutic levels, at home, specifically for respiratory health.

[@beaglerescue5281]

I hope and pray you will feel better. Please take care of yourself.
My daughter has raged at me, her husband, her dog and the baby car seat for not fitting into the car; often very moody.

[@notagain779]

Dr. Shaler, Thank you so much for all you do. I have learned so much from you. I wish for you good health and ease of breathing.

[@antroneb1]

I love you for pushing through even though your not well, your voice climes people , thank you so much

[@davidmcinnis154]

I poked a hyjackle in my neighborhood. He got the other hyjackles together, and they threatened me with physical assault if I didn't make very significant changes in my behavior.
I ended up doing what they wanted because I felt certain they would damage my life even worse if I didn't comply.

[@YvetteRay-um8gv]

Amazing how true live this for 30 years .what a waste of life.never again liberated ❤

[@odeyinkamotunrayo4789]

Thanks ❤🎉😊

[@user-kz7dh5tv7j]

Praying for your healing.Dr.
Jesus is our God healer 1st Peter 2:24 , & Isa53:5 ♥

[@simplysavvylife]

❤

[@bonniekesic8040]

Ive have ice cream thrown at my front door. Mayonaisse smeared on my windshield of my suv. Ive had a bottle of mouthwash thrown at my car. A lit cigarette thrown through the window of my car which burned the carpet. He broke my gate at my house to come through etc.

[@mynewlife1911]

I think narcs are 100 percent more likely to be violent.

[@AKE-rw2ly]

Is this lady OK. She seems to struggle to breath. What is the cover she's wearing

[@jenbuuunni]

No. Sorry no.

[@tanyagreene5003]

This is awesome content. It has really helped me alot!