I love Raoul as a character but.....I had to laugh so hard when I heard that his nuts were blown off in this sequel. I think the author ows all men on this planet an apology.
"Jesus Christ superstar shows up as a freakin' character!" Cracks me up every single time! XD With how egotistical Lloyd Webber is about his shows, I'm surprised that the priest wasn't in "Love Never Dies". As you guys showed, his praying scene would have been a perfect excuse for a crossover with "Jesus Christ Superstar". :p
So, Raoul couldn't conceive a child because someone shot him in the balls? That's a bit much, couldn't he just be naturally infertile? I mean, doesn't that happen? That happens, right?
Yeah, it does. And it's even more likely since Raoul is an aristocrat, and the upper class is notorious for inbreeding (which often causes fertility problems, among other things).
I wish they had that ball blown off bit in LND. At least that explains why Gustave is Erik's son rather than just taking Christine's words an Erik's eye for it! In the musical, the possibiltiy of Gustave being Erik's actual son is not properly explained! Even in the re-written version, it's very clunky!
Raoul... gets castrated... O.o That's another thing about this mess. I admit, I used to hate Raoul, but that seems harsh even in that mindset. Also, this book is just plain blasphemous. However, the Jesus Christ Superstar parody was really funny.
I bet the two people who disliked this was the writer of Phantom of Manhattan and Andrew Lloyd Weber for making fun of the songs and his choice of story
Oh this adaptation is so bad! But the way the Phantom Reviewer puts it I just can't stop laughing!!!! When the Jesus Christ Superstar music went on I just laughed for the longest time!!! Lol :D
MORE than the Dario version? Oh, PhantomReviewer. I think the toxic fumes from the lake have gone to your head. At least I laughed, at the stupidity of the book. Gagging wasn't any fun.
Awesome part 2; I loved it just as much as the first one! And brilliant "Wishing..." parody as well! So Jesus appears? Ohh man... if that scene is in ALW's sequel, he could use it as a cross-promotion if he decides to reopen productions of JCS at the same time.
Another good review. While Forsythe was harsh to both Meg (destroying her career and relegating her to Christine’s maid) and Raoul (blowing his nuts off, as you put it), I can’t help but think that ALW and friends were harsher in completely annihilating their characters in LND. It’s like they’ve both undergone a personality transplant. LOL song is great. And yes, the Jesus bit is… um… odd.
Wow... I heard it was bad, but I had no idea just how bad. Raoul's balls are shot off, Jesus has to 'go welcome people into heaven,' and the priest has the hots for Christine??? What the hell?
Phantom Gypsy I have that one. I love it too up until the part where Erik (Phantom) decides to leave and lets Christine go to (cough) Raoul at the end of the book.
1:04 At least Andrew Lloid Webber offered an explanation as to hy Gustave is the Phantom's son in the song "Beneath a Moonless Sky" while here, we're only supposed to assume that sometime before Raoul came to the rescue, Erik raped Christine or some other rubbish. I'm really starting to hate the book, how dare the author be so terrible. >=( Your reviews are good as always, though. =)
What!?! You don't know when the Phantom/Erik and Christine "got it on"?!...Well, it was when Christine went down to the cellars after she and the Persian read in the Epoque that "Erik [was] dead"...(Of course, Erik really wasn't dead - it was all a trick to get Christine to back down into the cellars to see him one last, "special" time...if you know what I mean! *wink wink*).... Oh wait! That was Leroux - not Forsyth!...*snaps fingers and stomps foot*...DARN!! LOLOL!!! ;-D
Wait, this book can annoy me as a Phantom fan AND as an atheist? So much fail! I also want to know why so many Phantom authors feel the need to emasculate Raoul. This one is certainly the most graphic.
WAIT!!! So according to Fredrick Forsythe, Earth is imperfect because Jesus hates us... "They showed me the book, with all its blasphemy and wasted pages and when they told me what it was for, I wept from fear." -Jesus' two cents on Phantom of Manhattan
I have one serious question that I want to ask - Why in the world (and in all of Paris) would somebody (*cough*ALW*cough*) ever want to base their successful, long-running musical on a poor excuse, get-out-of-my-Texas-library book like this!?!? (Or even have their work even remotely related/associated with such horrible dribble - if even in name?!)...*throws hands in the air*....I don't get it! I JUST DON"T GET IT!!!
That was hilarious, PhantomReviewer and I agree completely with you. I can't believe Forysthe wrote such an ignorant or blasphemous view about Jesus Christ and that mess about Raoul... hehe Poor Raoul, what did he ever do to deserve that?
Ahahahahaaaa! Loved the use of Jesus Christ Superstar. Lampooning one ALW attempt with another! You're hitting this stupid book with everything it deserves. I hope it's down for the count in the next segment.
I was going to ask which would you rather do, read POM or watch Dario Argento's version. But it's all too obvious. At least, you had fun with Argento's version. Love the pictures of Raoul getting shot!
How did Lloyd Webber EVER think that this was a good book to base a sequal on!!! Obviously glad they got rid of some of the really stupid bits but still...cmon!!!!
I do not think Sir Andrew would let that happen. I would think the same person who wrote the musical would do the sequel also, we can only hope! so this crap wouldnt be in it.
I said it, and I'll say again... Why the fuck are characters who both rely soley on the Devil and Jesus get to talk to them? It's crazy. Why are they the 'chosen ones'? This whole thing is on LSD.
I wonder if you purposely made "The same one Raoul bought a hundred years later, " with "which was discovered in the vaults of the theatre" Because I laughed. Hard. You must finish this review "before [you] DIE."
I adore you for that commentary about Raoul's 'emasculation'! That was hilarious! The music spoofs totally make this review! Yeah, it was annoying how Forsythe seemed to forget Genesis 1-2...
I fell asleep during Jesus's monologue--is that blasphemous? Whoever did the reading of Jesus and the Priest has a GREAT voice. You put my singing in there!!! Thank you!!! PS. this episode made me LOL, I literally had to pause. The sketch in the beginning was lovely too. I'm not sure if phantom fans actually drew those pictures of raoul getting his balls shot off or if they're just doodles kids make for fun, but they're GREAT.
This is the worst book ever. Blasphemous of Jesus and making characters so separate from the original. Did he even read the original and write the whole thing on acid? Literal *facepalm* 😒
silly question...am I just a prude or who says that Phantom and Christine slept together? It was never stated in the Phantom of opera novel, sounds like once again it was ripped off from the susan kay phantom.
cannot believe that lovenever dies has kept the 'phantom and christine slept together and so her son is actually the phantoms and not raoul' bit! i love the song but its the PHANTOM!!! too weird!! xxx
I mean, seriously, WHAT THE HELL?! This is where Forsythe REALLY jumps the shark. I could have hated him for the collosal stupidity of Erik being a clown, the worship of Mammon, the French/English barrier that suddenly disappears, the terrible intro... but how could you be so IMPOSSIBLY stupid as to include Jesus H. Christ as a character... in a Phantom rip-off?! Thank God Love Never Dies' plot changed from this book so dramatically, or I may have actually hung myself.
Never gave... HE MADE MAN THE SAME AS HE MADE ANIMALS ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE!! Until Adam and Eve ate the apple, they weren't supposed to be capable of sinning!! Oh sweet lord Reviewer, you have the biggest balls of any reviewer I've ever seen online to tackle this idiotic, offensive, insulting book!!
*evil laugh* The only good thing about the book WAS that I got ot imagine Raouls nuts being blown off, I hate his character in every version of Phantom....*growls* The book is a disgrace though *gags*
This whole thing is on LSD. *laughs*...Yes, one would *SERIOUSLY* have to wonder if Forsyth was on LSD at the time he was writing the book! (Or, at the very least, have some very serious mental problems! *L*) Yeeeeeeeeeesh!
This is one hilarious-- HIL-A-RI-OUS review. "I really need to finish this review before I DIE." THE JC SUPERSTAR SPOOF WAS EPIC! Love that musical. Ok, if Jesus appeared to us he would NOT talk like that. Maybe a Catholic priest, maybe-- XD And goodness-- God is OUTSIDE of our dimensions of time so he doesn't have to "rush off" he can take all our prayers at once can't he?!? OH GOODNESS. This is got to be the worst phantom-related garbage I've ever, ever encountered.
LOLOL!!! Why - didn't you know?...Jesus was from Dublin, Ireland - not from the Middle East! (All that other stuff you hear about Jesus and Jerusalem is all nonsense! In fact, the only expert who would know about this is Forsyth, himself - he's probably been studying this stuff for *years*!!) Of course, you know I'm just kidding people - nothing against Jesus, the Irish, Dublin, or the Middle East! ;-D
![miracle musical - the mind electric [slowed down]](/img/n.gif)
I love Raoul as a character but.....I had to laugh so hard when I heard that his nuts were blown off in this sequel. I think the author ows all men on this planet an apology.
I died laughing at Raoul's high-pitched singing and Christine's song about his...unfortunate accident. HAHAHAHA!
"Jesus Christ superstar
shows up as a freakin' character!"
Cracks me up every single time! XD
With how egotistical Lloyd Webber is about his shows, I'm surprised that the priest wasn't in "Love Never Dies". As you guys showed, his praying scene would have been a perfect excuse for a crossover with "Jesus Christ Superstar". :p
Jesus Christ? YOU'RE IN THE WRONG MUSICAL???!!!! XD
So, Raoul couldn't conceive a child because someone shot him in the balls? That's a bit much, couldn't he just be naturally infertile? I mean, doesn't that happen? That happens, right?
Yeah, it does. And it's even more likely since Raoul is an aristocrat, and the upper class is notorious for inbreeding (which often causes fertility problems, among other things).
Well they could've said he was impotent or something but they chose with that ridiculous thing !
I'm not really a fan of Raoul as a character, but poor Raoul - getting his nuts blown off? That IS way too harsh.
OMG, this review is hilarious!
Anyone who's read Phantom of Manhattan KNOWS suffering!
The priest has the hots for Christine at least he didn't sing hellfire!
Thank you; now I will never read the book.
"Oh my sainted trousers!" ---a reference to Blackadder, perhaps?
I wish they had that ball blown off bit in LND. At least that explains why Gustave is Erik's son rather than just taking Christine's words an Erik's eye for it! In the musical, the possibiltiy of Gustave being Erik's actual son is not properly explained! Even in the re-written version, it's very clunky!
Raoul... gets castrated... O.o That's another thing about this mess. I admit, I used to hate Raoul, but that seems harsh even in that mindset. Also, this book is just plain blasphemous. However, the Jesus Christ Superstar parody was really funny.
"It can be very...hard."
I bet the two people who disliked this was the writer of Phantom of Manhattan and Andrew Lloyd Weber for making fun of the songs and his choice of story
Oh this adaptation is so bad! But the way the Phantom Reviewer puts it I just can't stop laughing!!!! When the Jesus Christ Superstar music went on I just laughed for the longest time!!! Lol :D
MORE than the Dario version? Oh, PhantomReviewer. I think the toxic fumes from the lake have gone to your head.
At least I laughed, at the stupidity of the book. Gagging wasn't any fun.
Laughed so hard when I heard about Raoul and Jesus being a character! That is hysterical!!! This is fan fiction and nothing more
And yet the mystery of when the Phantom and Christine got busy remains...
Awesome part 2; I loved it just as much as the first one! And brilliant "Wishing..." parody as well!
So Jesus appears? Ohh man... if that scene is in ALW's sequel, he could use it as a cross-promotion if he decides to reopen productions of JCS at the same time.
Honestly I think Eric and Christine having a kid or modern descendents running around would make a better story somewhere else.
Another good review. While Forsythe was harsh to both Meg (destroying her career and relegating her to Christine’s maid) and Raoul (blowing his nuts off, as you put it), I can’t help but think that ALW and friends were harsher in completely annihilating their characters in LND. It’s like they’ve both undergone a personality transplant. LOL song is great. And yes, the Jesus bit is… um… odd.
Amazing review as always was that Biskuts singing 'cause she was really good.
Phantom Nerd, Katlyn
Wow... I heard it was bad, but I had no idea just how bad. Raoul's balls are shot off, Jesus has to 'go welcome people into heaven,' and the priest has the hots for Christine??? What the hell?
There is a book called "My Phantom" by Anstance Tamplin & I freaking love it. It's Christine's POV of the original book & it is awesome.
Phantom Gypsy I have that one. I love it too up until the part where Erik (Phantom) decides to leave and lets Christine go to (cough) Raoul at the end of the book.
1:04 At least Andrew Lloid Webber offered an explanation as to hy Gustave is the Phantom's son in the song "Beneath a Moonless Sky" while here, we're only supposed to assume that sometime before Raoul came to the rescue, Erik raped Christine or some other rubbish. I'm really starting to hate the book, how dare the author be so terrible. >=( Your reviews are good as always, though. =)
Wow...I can't believe I actually feel sorry for Raoul. Jesus, the poor guy!
Great phantom review. The part about poor Raoul made me lmao!
WHAT THE FREAKING HELL WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU HAVE JESUS IN ANY BOOK THAT IS NOT RELIGIOUS WTF?! WHAT IS THIS?!
Wow, I never considered that before, Phantom of Manhattan is a POTO/JCS crossover fanfic!
I thought the same way through the entire book. and yes, YOU JUST CANT KILL CHRISTINE, YOU JUST DONT DO THAT!
I love Jesus' expression in that illustration xD
What!?! You don't know when the Phantom/Erik and Christine "got it on"?!...Well, it was when Christine went down to the cellars after she and the Persian read in the Epoque that "Erik [was] dead"...(Of course, Erik really wasn't dead - it was all a trick to get Christine to back down into the cellars to see him one last, "special" time...if you know what I mean! *wink wink*)....
Oh wait! That was Leroux - not Forsyth!...*snaps fingers and stomps foot*...DARN!!
LOLOL!!! ;-D
Wait, this book can annoy me as a Phantom fan AND as an atheist? So much fail!
I also want to know why so many Phantom authors feel the need to emasculate Raoul. This one is certainly the most graphic.
WAIT!!! So according to Fredrick Forsythe, Earth is imperfect because Jesus hates us...
"They showed me the book, with all its blasphemy and wasted pages and when they told me what it was for, I wept from fear."
-Jesus' two cents on Phantom of Manhattan
OMFG!!! I almost spit my coffee all over my computer!! The musical bits of this are PURE GOLD!
Lol Raoul should always sing like this!
I'd like to ask Jesus myself what can be "very...hard"...? *raises a very curious eyebrow*
(ROFTLMAO!!!!!!!!!)
OH MY GOD!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!
thebeldam - you seriously have me rolling over here!!!! LOLOL!!!!
"Hucking Forrible."
Yes. I agree. But I enjoy (in a way) what you say about it. Oh, what suffering you must have gone through for this!
I have one serious question that I want to ask -
Why in the world (and in all of Paris) would somebody (*cough*ALW*cough*) ever want to base their successful, long-running musical on a poor excuse, get-out-of-my-Texas-library book like this!?!? (Or even have their work even remotely related/associated with such horrible dribble - if even in name?!)...*throws hands in the air*....I don't get it! I JUST DON"T GET IT!!!
That was hilarious, PhantomReviewer and I agree completely with you. I can't believe Forysthe wrote such an ignorant or blasphemous view about Jesus Christ and that mess about Raoul... hehe Poor Raoul, what did he ever do to deserve that?
Ahahahahaaaa! Loved the use of Jesus Christ Superstar. Lampooning one ALW attempt with another! You're hitting this stupid book with everything it deserves. I hope it's down for the count in the next segment.
Right when you thought Forsythe could make it any worse he had to add Jesus and a Christine lusting priest.
I was going to ask which would you rather do, read POM or watch Dario Argento's version. But it's all too obvious. At least, you had fun with Argento's version.
Love the pictures of Raoul getting shot!
How did Lloyd Webber EVER think that this was a good book to base a sequal on!!! Obviously glad they got rid of some of the really stupid bits but still...cmon!!!!
LOLOL with/at greenappletea!!! Have to totally agree with you there!! LOLOL!!
Am I the only sick bastard who thought that Jesus saying, "It can be very hard," was funny?
I do not think Sir Andrew would let that happen. I would think the same person who wrote the musical would do the sequel also, we can only hope! so this crap wouldnt be in it.
I said it, and I'll say again... Why the fuck are characters who both rely soley on the Devil and Jesus get to talk to them?
It's crazy. Why are they the 'chosen ones'?
This whole thing is on LSD.
Wow.... Raoul's balls get blown up AND jesus makes a guest apperance... BEST EPISODE EVER.
I wonder if you purposely made
"The same one Raoul bought a hundred years later, " with "which was discovered in the vaults of the theatre"
Because I laughed. Hard. You must finish this review "before [you] DIE."
I adore you for that commentary about Raoul's 'emasculation'! That was hilarious! The music spoofs totally make this review!
Yeah, it was annoying how Forsythe seemed to forget Genesis 1-2...
Too funny! That book was meant to be ripped apart by you.
I fell asleep during Jesus's monologue--is that blasphemous?
Whoever did the reading of Jesus and the Priest has a GREAT voice.
You put my singing in there!!! Thank you!!!
PS. this episode made me LOL, I literally had to pause. The sketch in the beginning was lovely too. I'm not sure if phantom fans actually drew those pictures of raoul getting his balls shot off or if they're just doodles kids make for fun, but they're GREAT.
Extra points for paroding JCS xD
This is the worst book ever. Blasphemous of Jesus and making characters so separate from the original. Did he even read the original and write the whole thing on acid? Literal *facepalm* 😒
silly question...am I just a prude or who says that Phantom and Christine slept together? It was never stated in the Phantom of opera novel, sounds like once again it was ripped off from the susan kay phantom.
Oh my gosh..your reviews crack me up!
Jesus Christ Superstar for the win!
hahahahahah xD
This book is so ridiculous!
Are you kidding me Jesus ! Jesus!
'genuine praise-Jesus miracle' pretty much describes everything this book is not
@MST3K1986 I agree.
cannot believe that lovenever dies has kept the 'phantom and christine slept together and so her son is actually the phantoms and not raoul' bit! i love the song but its the PHANTOM!!! too weird!! xxx
Christine Daae honestly I think the idea of Christine and Eric having kids would be an interesting idea if it’s done right .
hahahahaha wishing u had some balls again i love it!!
Oh wow Castrati Raoul.
Wow!
Jesus looks so unimpressed! XD
Hehehee. Brilliant that Jesus Christ Superstar stuff. :P
I mean, seriously, WHAT THE HELL?! This is where Forsythe REALLY jumps the shark. I could have hated him for the collosal stupidity of Erik being a clown, the worship of Mammon, the French/English barrier that suddenly disappears, the terrible intro... but how could you be so IMPOSSIBLY stupid as to include Jesus H. Christ as a character... in a Phantom rip-off?! Thank God Love Never Dies' plot changed from this book so dramatically, or I may have actually hung myself.
I agree! :D
I never read it...I guess I am better off.
1:13 the only thing i like about this book
the rest suck
@katiescarlet who didn´t LTAO? XD
Never gave...
HE MADE MAN THE SAME AS HE MADE ANIMALS ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE!! Until Adam and Eve ate the apple, they weren't supposed to be capable of sinning!! Oh sweet lord Reviewer, you have the biggest balls of any reviewer I've ever seen online to tackle this idiotic, offensive, insulting book!!
*evil laugh* The only good thing about the book WAS that I got ot imagine Raouls nuts being blown off, I hate his character in every version of Phantom....*growls*
The book is a disgrace though *gags*
Oh wow... burnage on Webber much?
lol. Nice singing there, Phantomreviewer... haha!
7:14
Me: *facepalm*
This whole thing is on LSD.
*laughs*...Yes, one would *SERIOUSLY* have to wonder if Forsyth was on LSD at the time he was writing the book! (Or, at the very least, have some very serious mental problems! *L*)
Yeeeeeeeeeesh!
This is one hilarious-- HIL-A-RI-OUS review.
"I really need to finish this review before I DIE."
THE JC SUPERSTAR SPOOF WAS EPIC! Love that musical. Ok, if Jesus appeared to us he would NOT talk like that. Maybe a Catholic priest, maybe-- XD And goodness-- God is OUTSIDE of our dimensions of time so he doesn't have to "rush off" he can take all our prayers at once can't he?!? OH GOODNESS. This is got to be the worst phantom-related garbage I've ever, ever encountered.
Jesus is not impressed.
Why is Jesus Christ Irish?
XD
LOLOL!!! Why - didn't you know?...Jesus was from Dublin, Ireland - not from the Middle East! (All that other stuff you hear about Jesus and Jerusalem is all nonsense! In fact, the only expert who would know about this is Forsyth, himself - he's probably been studying this stuff for *years*!!)
Of course, you know I'm just kidding people - nothing against Jesus, the Irish, Dublin, or the Middle East! ;-D
Whaat